


Life is What we Make of it

by whimsicalwombat



Series: Life is a Series of Impossible Choices [1]
Category: The Blacklist (TV)
Genre: And they are adorable, Aram's parents occasionally show up, Family, Liz ship neutral but with references to canon relationships, Multi, Occasional canon typical violence/smut/references to death and depression, Reference but not depiction of a character death in a later chapter, Still plenty of fluff though, individual chapters marked accordingly, one big ol' office mess, seriously this could get messy, this will not always be the fluffy kid fic it sounds like
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-15
Updated: 2017-05-19
Packaged: 2018-05-26 19:59:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 112
Words: 396,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6253915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whimsicalwombat/pseuds/whimsicalwombat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post 3x13-14 AU. A few weeks after her night with Ressler, Samar makes a startling discovery; she's pregnant. She confides in Liz, and just a couple of days later, Aram finally plucks up the courage to ask her out. Talk about terrible -and very messy- timing. Story focuses on Samar coming to terms with it all, the family history she hides, the different relationships she has with the people around her as they grow and develop throughout all the mess, and then how all their lives move forwards in their own journeys after that while still sticking together and even busting the occasional blacklister.</p><p>Story idea came from a series of truly ridiculous conversations with thebeautifulbadass and NamelesslyNightlock.<br/>My usual thanks go to both of them for putting up with my endless rambling.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Decisions

**Author's Note:**

> Just a note on the timeline of this story; the timeline I'm using deviates quite wildly from that of the show. With all the continuity issues over the end of season two/first half of season three and the confusion as to the timing of Liz's pregnancy, I opted to follow the theme of this story and focus more on Samar's timeline instead, then calculate Liz's dates forward from that. As this takes off from 3x13/14 I also opted to just take the approximate date that those specific episodes were supposedly timed (early February) and then swing off into this alternate universe from there. In terms of when the little munchkins are born, this story will probably end up being about three to four months out from the show date-wise but I guess, that's roughly the range of the continuity dilemmas anyway, and this is an alternate universe sooo... This is just a PSA, I guess :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Saturday, February 6, 2016.

Samar furrowed her brow in irritation as she stood in her kitchen, gazing indecisively at the selection of cereals in the pantry. For some reason, everything seemed particularly unappealing this morning. A twinge of nausea rocked her stomach, and she rolled her eyes impatiently as she tried to ignore it and instead figure out what to have for breakfast. She really did hate being sick, but with the cold that she had picked up over the last week or so, plus all the stresses of her life in general over the last _few_ weeks, it really didn't surprise her that she felt ill. With a sigh of frustration, she closed the pantry door, instead opting to reach for a banana from the fruit bowl. Perhaps later she would feel ready to eat something more, but for now a piece of fruit would be substantial enough. She took a single bite before throwing it back down on the counter as another, even worse wave of nausea sent her running to the bathroom.  

The cool water splashed against her face as she leaned over the sink after rinsing her mouth. She took a few deep breaths to try and settle her stomach, not wanting to move too far until she knew the nausea had subsided, at least temporarily. Slowly, she stood upright again and her reflection in the mirror stared back at her; she was pale too. _Was her cold actually the flu?_ It was certainly possible. She made a mental note to steer clear of Liz at the Post Office over the next few days, just in case. Liz needed to avoid the flu even more than the rest of them, now that she was pregnant. Samar sighed. It was a pity really, because she had been hoping to visit Liz's new apartment some time over the weekend and help her move all the new furniture around, but now it would have to wait.  

 _Wait a minute._  

Another thought suddenly struck, making Samar freeze in the bathroom doorway. A look of absolute horror crossed her face as she desperately tried to convince herself that she was overreacting. But no, the more she thought about it, the more she knew it was true; she could not for the life of her remember when her last period was. She tried to stay calm as she ran into the bedroom, and flicked through the pages of the calendar hanging on the wall, only to note the lack of little marks in the corner of any day over the last six weeks. That wasn't _too_ much of a shock; high stress levels almost always messed up the cycle, and half the time she didn't pay too much attention to it anyway. Considering how hectic her job was, she normally just functioned as if on autopilot when it came to those sorts of routine things; making notes on the calendar where necessary, and then not giving them any more thought. It was quite possible that in the chaos over the last few weeks, she had just forgotten to write it down entirely. She steadied her breathing, determined that stress was all it was. It wasn't like she had time for relationships these days anyway. She rolled her eyes again at her own irrational panic, before suddenly smacking her palm to her face in frustration.

_Ressler._

She was still trying to forget everything about that night, but unfortunately that didn't mean it miraculously hadn't happened. She gritted her teeth, reminding herself that she was on the pill, and feeling a brief flash of vindication as she checked the strip and saw that she hadn't missed taking a single one. But the slightly off feeling didn't ease. She knew all too well that just as stress could mess with her cycle, so too could it mess with the effectiveness of the pill. The chances were slim, and there were so many possible reasons why she wasn't feeling well but... Now that the idea was in her head, she needed to know for sure either way.  

She marched straight down the hallway to the front door, picking up her purse and her keys from the counter without even breaking her stride, and headed for the pharmacy around the corner from her building.  

/*/*/*/*

Nearly an hour later, Samar still sat on the couch, staring silently at the two little lines on the test in her hand. All sense of feeling had disappeared the second those lines appeared. She was pregnant. Samar had absolutely no idea how she felt about that. What felt like a thousand different thoughts swirled anxiously around in her mind. _Was this really happening?_ She did love family -or at least, the idea of family. Losing her parents so early, and so horrifically, and then having to raise herself and her brother had kind of skewed her idea of what family was supposed to mean exactly, but it was still something that seemed to resonate with her positively. Though in practice, it was a different issue entirely. She was still reeling from the revelation that Shahin wasn't who she had thought he was... She was still dealing with the reality that Levi was engaged, when she herself hadn't had a single, long-term, meaningful relationship in the time since she left him... And frankly, despite her joy at the idea of Liz becoming a mother, Samar had no particular desire to become a mother herself. There had been an inkling, once. But that had dissipated quickly after everything that had happened with Levi. Samar buried her face in her hands, trying desperately to push those memories out of her mind before they took over entirely. It was just too painful.  

Tears began to slowly roll down her face, one by one falling free from her cheek and splashing to her knees. Samar knew to always keep the possibility of an accidental pregnancy in mind, no matter how cautious she was. But, she had hoped that if it ever had to happen, it wouldn't be like this. Not when she was on her own... Not from a one night stand... And especially not from a one night stand with Ressler.

That was a particularly cruel twist of fate.  

Her head snapped up from her hands and she reached wildly for her phone as she realised... _She needed to tell him._ Samar didn't want to talk to him, but she did need to tell him. Her finger paused hesitantly over the speed dial button. _Did she really have to tell him right now?_ She could barely process what was happening herself, let alone deal with how Ressler would react. That said, if he knew she delayed telling him for too long, his reaction would probably be even worse. Samar scowled at the very idea of Ressler's disapproving face and decided 'what the hell'. Ressler already hated her, and she dealt with that well enough. By this point, it wouldn’t make much of a difference if his annoyances with her worsened.  

And really, if Samar had to talk to anyone now, she preferred it be someone more understanding.  

With one decision now sorted -telling Ressler could wait until she knew what she wanted to do- Samar gazed at her phone, contemplating who she should call. Liz or Aram were the obvious potentials, but which one specifically? Both would be supportive, but Liz was preoccupied with her own pregnancy and all the issues surrounding it. But then again... She was far more likely than Aram to understand the dilemma Samar now found herself in, no matter how much Aram would inevitably _try_ to be helpful. Samar took a deep breath. Two definitive decisions in as many minutes was progress. She hit the call button and put the phone to her ear, hoping, just hoping, that Liz would pick up.   
'Samar?' Liz's voice came curiously through the phone, just a second before the call would have rung out.  
'Liz...' Samar's voice cracked, and she suddenly didn't know what to say. Liz's tone changed immediately to concern.  
'What's wrong?'   
'Uh...' Samar trailed off for a second, 'I'm pregnant.' As difficult as it was to say those words out loud, there was no sense in trying to find a more delicate, or longer-winded way of saying them. The line went quiet as Liz processed that information.  
'Are you home right now?' Liz asked calmly.  
'Yes... Why?'  
'Don't go anywhere, I'm on my way over.' And with that, the line went dead.  

/*/*/*/*

Half an hour later, Liz knocked on the door. Samar, having been standing there waiting for her since the phone call ended, opened the door within a second. Liz stared back at her, absolutely bewildered, before taking note of the sheer distress on Samar's face. She held up a plastic shopping bag for Samar to see.  
'Tissues, chocolate, and ginger ale,' Liz explained gently, a small, reassuring smile crossing her face. Samar nodded silently and stepped sideways so that Liz could get past her and enter the apartment. Liz made a beeline for the couch and sat down, gesturing for Samar to sit down beside her. She dug through the bag and pulled out the chocolate, handing a piece to Samar as she patiently waited for her to figure out what she needed to say.   
'Liz... What do I do now?' Samar burst out suddenly. Liz grimaced sympathetically.  
'I'm still figuring that out myself... The couple I found, they only want a closed adoption and... I don't know if I can do that,' she trailed off. Samar just blinked at her.   
'So... Does that mean you're not going to give your baby up?'   
'Maybe... I don't know. But if I'm so set on knowing my child that I can't go through with a closed adoption, then maybe it's something I should consider.' Liz looked pointedly at Samar.   
'I don't think I could go through with a closed adoption either...' Samar murmured, suddenly understanding what Liz was doing. The memories of Levi came flashing back, and Samar quickly focused her gaze on the last bit of her chocolate to try and push the thoughts from her mind again.   
'Well,' Liz began, with a nod of encouragement, 'that's one thing you know you're _not_ doing now.' She paused, and handed Samar another piece of chocolate before taking a bite of her own. Samar nibbled the edge of her piece of chocolate, suddenly feeling slightly awkward. She and Liz still didn't really know each other that well and yet, there they both were. Samar couldn't get her head around the fact that Liz had dropped everything and come over at a moment's notice, just to talk it over with her. She let out a small, watery smile.   
'Thank you for coming,' she said, 'I didn't know who else to talk to.' Liz smiled back.  
'I panicked too, when I first realised. It changed everything, in just a second.' Samar nodded in agreement, as Liz turned sideways, curling her legs around her side and resting the side of her head against the back of the couch. Samar did the same, mirroring Liz's position so they faced one another on the couch. She was starting to calm down now; the initial shock had worn off, and talking to Liz ensured that she focused on one issue at a time, rather than thinking about everything all at once.   
'What about Tom?' She asked curiously. Liz sighed.  
'That's another thing I have to consider... If I keep the baby, he'll want to be a part of its life.' Samar frowned, wondering if Ressler would take the same attitude.   
'Is that what you want?'  
'I'm not sure, really... We've been through a lot lately, and we have a lot to figure out.' Liz paused, unsure what to make of Samar's frown. 'Can I ask...?' Liz hesitated before finishing the question, but Samar knew what she meant. She bit her lip nervously and Liz instantly put her hand up to wave off the question. 'You don't have to tell me, forget I asked.'  
'No, it's ok. It's just... Complicated.' She glanced uneasily at Liz before continuing, 'it's Ressler's.' Liz gaped at her in disbelief, before suddenly letting out a laugh.  
'What _happened_ in the Post Office while I was gone?!' She exclaimed. Samar let out a snort.  
'Trust me, you don't want to know,' Samar chuckled, relieved that Liz didn't seem to be judging her in the slightest.   
'You guys aren't still-' Liz started to ask, but Samar quickly, and rather emphatically, shook her head.  
'No, and I want to hold off on telling him for a little while. Until I have to, really.' Samar flashed back to the comment Ressler had made about Liz and common sense, and her frustration at him began to bubble up again. The more she thought about it now, the more determined Samar felt; she was going to keep her baby. It wouldn't be easy, but she had already been through too much loss in her life. She didn't care how Ressler felt about it, or even if it was the right thing to do, but she did know that there was no way in hell she was going to give up this chance now. There, the decisions were made. Liz grinned at the determination on Samar's face, glad to see that the panic was gone and that she was starting to figure things out.   
'So I guess we're both doing this on our own then, huh?' She mused.   
'No,' Samar said quickly, shaking her head again and furrowing her brow in determination, 'we're going to stick together.'


	2. Suspicions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Monday, February 8, 2016.

The noise of the elevator doors thundering open and closed rang in Samar's ears as she stepped into the war room. The combination of morning sickness and general anxiety at the idea of returning to work for the week as if it were just any other Monday morning had her stomach doing backflips.  

_Because it wasn't just any other Monday..._

Confiding in Liz over the weekend had definitely helped Samar get her head around the whole idea of being pregnant, and even feel more confident in how to deal with it... But all that went flying out the window the second that Samar stepped out of her car and had to walk into the Post Office building. That was where the realisation had truly hit her; she had to work side by side with Ressler all day, all the while keeping the information to herself. The second realisation hit her in the elevator; that the same also applied to Aram, after having just started to rebuild trust with him. The conversation they'd had just two weeks earlier flashed in her mind, and remembering Aram's insistence that he was her friend whether she deserved him or not, forced her to blink away a tear. Suddenly Samar wasn't sure whether to tell Aram straight away or not, let alone how he would react. 

By the time the elevator doors opened, Samar was struggling to maintain any shred of composure at all.  

She bypassed her workstation in its entirety, planning to head straight for Liz's office, until Aram called out to her.  
'Samar, hey!' His cheerful greeting brought Samar's internal monologue to a grinding halt. She forced a smile, turning on the spot to see him walking quickly in an attempt to catch up with her, but Aram's face fell as he saw hers. 'Are you ok?' He asked, his eyes narrowing in concern.  
'Uh, yeah. Why?' She said, determined to sound perfectly casual. Aram frowned as he stared back at her for a moment.  
'You look a little pale,' he observed.   
'I'm fine.'  
'Ok well, if you're sure... I wanted to ask you something,' Aram paused, shifting on his feet uneasily before Samar gestured for him to continue. 'Uh, I have these movie tickets... Two of them, actually. And I was thinking, considering all that's happened recently, you might want to come with me and maybe go somewhere for dinner afterwards?' Samar just blinked at him. _Was he asking... What she thought he was asking?_ She bit her lip; the timing couldn't _possibly_ be worse.   
'Aram...' Samar trailed off, not sure how to respond. She knew all too well how Aram felt about her, and she even cared enough about him that had he asked a week earlier, she might have said yes. But now... Now Samar knew she was pregnant, and with Ressler's baby to boot. She couldn't go out with Aram when he didn't know she was pregnant, especially not when she was pregnant with his co-worker's child. Not only would that be incredibly unfair to him, but it would be practically _begging_ for the biggest office mess possible. But then it was a question of how to turn him down without making things awkward so really, now she was stuck. Aram's face crumpled at her hesitation, already sensing the impending answer. Everything that had happened with Liz being on the run and the rest of the team falling apart, had convinced him to stop trying to put aside his feelings for Samar and instead finally act on them before he lost her entirely but... _Perhaps that hadn't been a good idea after all_.   
'Don’t worry...' He murmured, his shoulders slumping and his eyes dropping to stare at the floor, 'forget I asked. I'll leave you to get back to whatever you were doing.' He turned to walk away, but Samar reached for his shoulder to stop him.  
'Aram, I really am sorry,' she said, her heart aching at the dejected look on his face. The sheer sincerity in her voice startled him for a moment, and he looked up to meet her eyes again, studying her own expression in turn. She genuinely seemed... _Disappointed?_ Aram gave her a short nod before once again turning to walk away, all the while wondering why on earth she was disappointed when she could have just said yes. From his workstation, Aram watched Samar disappear into Liz's office, now not so much hurt but rather, curious. Samar's entire demeanour was different; as if there was something else entirely that was bothering her.  

Samar closed the door to Liz's office behind her and leaned straight back against it, running her hands anxiously through her dark hair.  
'This just keeps getting worse,' she groaned. Liz raised a wary eyebrow as she nibbled on the edge of a cracker.   
'Do I want to know?' With a sigh, Samar quickly explained what had just happened. Liz simply shrugged.  
'Personally, I think you should have just said yes. Aram's sweet,' she said, with a slight hint of amusement. Samar rolled her eyes.   
'Exactly, this wouldn't be fair to him. And after everything else, I can't do this to him as well.'  
'Why don't you just tell him? I mean, I understand not telling Ressler just yet, but Aram...' Liz trailed off, realising the answer to her own question as she said it; they all knew how strongly Aram felt about Samar. The news would crush him. But on the other hand, it could only be hidden for so long.   
'I don't know how to tell him.' Samar dropped into the chair across from Liz.   
'He's going to find out eventually,' Liz pointed out, passing the box of crackers across the desk so Samar could take one, 'and if there's anything that I've learned in the last few months, it’s that everything can change in a second. There's no point in denying yourself something like this if you want it, because you never really know if you'll get the chance again. You should tell him. It'll hurt, but he might surprise you. Not to mention, if you hide it from him, it'll hurt him even more.' Samar just stared at her for a second as every point Liz made rang true in her ears. Samar's life had been turned upside down just as much as Liz's in the last few months, and a huge part of the reason she was so determined to keep her child was because she doubted that she'd ever have another opportunity for a family. Not to mention -and this was the point that really struck a chord with her- it really was true that, especially of late, Aram never ceased to surprise them. The way that he stood up and protected Liz from the Director a few weeks earlier was only one incidence of the way he stopped at nothing to look after the people he cared about, no matter scared or angry he was -as was the fact that he had filed the status report under Ressler's name so that Samar could have her job back. Samar sighed, and reached for another cracker, pausing just long enough to wonder why crackers would be the only thing not to trigger her nausea, before finally responding.  
'I have a doctor's appointment later this afternoon, and I'm sure they'll do a scan or something. I'll see what they say, and then I'll make a decision.' Liz nodded, finally content with Samar's plan.

/*/*/*/*

'I'm not saying it's easy but...' Ressler said as his gaze flickered between Liz and Samar, 'I'd never give up my kid for adoption.' Liz gritted her teeth, making the most of the second he had his back to her to momentarily glare at the back of his head before he turned back again. Samar glanced uneasily at Liz, knowing exactly what was going through her mind.  
'People give their kids up for all kinds of reasons,' she said, looking pointedly at Ressler. She and Liz exchanged a quick glance; Liz's face was hurt, but grateful, and Samar shot her the tiniest nod of understanding, before she quickly looked away. It really was a poor comment for Ressler to make, seeing as they all knew Liz herself was adopted. Not to mention, he had only mocked Liz's decision to have Tom's baby just a week earlier. The more Samar thought about it, the harder it was to resist the urge to growl under her breath at how badly Ressler's thoughtless remark had hurt Liz. If Ressler didn't want Liz to have her baby, but he also disapproved of giving it up for adoption, what exactly did he think she should do at this point? It was ridiculous. Samar made a mental note to check on Liz privately some time later, just to make sure she was ok. They had agreed to stick together, and after all Liz had done to lift her spirits over the last few days, Samar was determined to make sure they did. She scowled as everyone in the team but Liz all wandered away on Cooper's orders, and another thought came to her; if Ressler was against giving up his own child for adoption, but he also didn't approve of a child born into a situation like Liz and Tom's, what exactly would he want _her_ to do when she told him about her own pregnancy? Ressler's reaction was hard enough to predict already, but now Samar's anxieties only worsened -and the timing of his comment couldn't be worse either. Of all the possible moments for him to make a judgemental comment about his hypothetical child, it had to be right when he was standing next to the woman he didn't know was carrying his real child. Somewhere behind Samar, Liz's phone rang, and she crossed the war room to answer it in her office. Samar watched Liz hurry across the room, her distant eyes telling Samar that Liz's thoughts were far, far away, and observed through the office window until Liz hung up the phone. She had to hurry, Ressler was just a few minutes away from heading over to the hospital with both of them in tow to speak to Ethan's father, but Samar wanted to at least quickly check in with Liz before any of them left the building again. She quickly marched across the room and knocked on Liz's office door before peeking her head into the room.   
'Hey, you ok?' Samar asked gently. Liz looked up from her desk at the sound of Samar's voice and gave her a small smile.   
'Yeah, I'll be fine,' she sighed. Samar looked at Liz in concern, studying the tired expression on her face, before her own eyes darted away miserably.   
'Ressler really forgets to think before he speaks sometimes, doesn't he?' She muttered. The frustration on Liz's face faded away, only to be replaced with sympathy.   
'Are _you_ ok? I'm not the only one that comment should hit close to home for...' Samar glanced back at Liz and let out a small smile of her own. It was reassuring to know that just as she had immediately worried about Liz when Ressler made his unfortunate comment, so had Liz immediately worried about her.   
'I'll be fine too,' Samar said with an appreciative nod. 'Ressler's waiting to go to the hospital. You ready to go?' Liz rolled her eyes and stood from her chair, and took the few steps to pass Samar in the doorway and wink as she did so. Neither of them particularly wanted to be stuck in a car with Ressler right now, but at least they'd be stuck with him together.   
'Are you?'


	3. Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Wednesday, February 10, 2016.

Aram rummaged through the mess on his desk, searching for his flash drive. Frustrated and unable to find it, he opened the desk drawer to see if, for some reason, he had left the flash drive there. But, he paused suddenly, as something caught his eye. Usually, he didn't leave much in that particular drawer, but more recently he had taken to leaving spare crackers and ginger ale for Liz to take whenever she needed them, and then every couple of days, he refilled the supply-  and he had just refilled the drawer yesterday, leaving four cans of ginger ale in the drawer. 

_ And now there were only two left. _

That was odd. Liz had never taken more than one a day, before now. Aram's brow knitted in concern, as he looked around the war room for Liz, but couldn't spot her anywhere. He gently closed the drawer, and crossed the war room to her office, just to check that she wasn't feeling too unwell, but the sound of familiar voices stopped him just as he was about to walk through the door. He had managed to get just close enough to see a flash of Samar and Liz drinking ginger ale together as they talked, before taking two quick steps backwards to stand against the wall by the doorway without them seeing him. The confusion on Aram's face intensified and his heart skipped a beat as he leaned against the wall to listen to their conversation. It wasn't odd for Samar to be in Liz's office; they  _ were _ friends, and Samar had stayed close to Liz ever since Liz returned to the Post Office and realised she was pregnant. To a certain degree they all had started to cling to Liz when she returned, simply because they had all fallen apart while she was gone, and it was easier for any and all of them to stick to Liz than deal with each other. But, Samar going so far as to drink ginger ale in the morning with Liz was one supportive step further than the any of the rest of them had dared to take. Aram internally chastised himself as he tried to push the concern from his mind;  _ surely he was just over-analysing, right? _ It certainly wasn't an unusual occurrence for him.  

But the nagging feeling just wouldn't leave.  

Aram flashed back on Samar's odd behaviour over the last couple of days; from the way she had been quieter than usual ever since Monday, to the way she had been so short with Ressler every time he gave her a directive, and the disappointment on her face when he asked her out and she turned him down. Plus, she still looked a little pale. Aram had initially dismissed that fact, based on the fact it had been a Monday morning and Samar had looked tired in general. But when Samar still looked pale a day later, Aram had started to wonder if there was something more to it. Now Wednesday, and Samar  _ still  _ looked under the weather, Aram was convinced. Something was going on, he just didn't know for sure what that something was.  

And then, just as the sound of Liz saying his name brought his attention back from his mind's wanderings, he had a lightbulb moment. 

Aram tried to shake the idea from his head, determinedly telling himself that he was putting the pieces together in a way that didn't form the right picture. Pale, tired, quiet, being even more short with Ressler than usual, clinging to Liz more than the rest of them, joining her for ginger ale and crackers in the morning... Was it possible? Aram rolled his eyes; of course it was  _ technically _ possible. He knew what had happened between Samar and Ressler, and he certainly knew how the birds and the bees worked, so to speak. But he hadn't thought of it as something even  _ vaguely _ possible before now. But now... Now, he was starting to think that not only was it possible, but that it was quickly becoming reality.  

He focused on listening to Samar and Liz's conversation once more. A few minutes passed, as they talked about work and then eventually, Liz's frustration at being unable to find a couple willing to go through an open adoption, and then she suddenly changed the subject.  
'Oh, how was your appointment on Monday? I forgot to ask yesterday...' Liz's voice trailed off. From behind the wall, Aram raised his eyebrows.   
'Everything's normal, apparently,' came Samar's voice in turn.  
'How many weeks?' Liz asked curiously.  
'Nine. We're just under two months apart then, right?' A breath caught in Aram's throat, as the realisation sunk in that his fears were true. He stepped into the doorway, the colour now drained from his face.   
'You're...pregnant?' He croaked. Both Samar and Liz jumped, and turned in their chairs to see him standing there. They glanced at each nervously, before looking back at him.  
'Uhh... Yeah Aram,' Liz forced a chuckle, 'I thought you knew that.' Aram ignored her, and instead stared intently at Samar. All three of them knew Liz's cover was a poor one.   
'Samar...' She could barely meet his eye, but she nodded all the same. Aram exhaled slowly as he processed that particular piece of information. 'Is it Ressler's?' He asked suddenly, now desperate to know everything. Samar opened her mouth to respond, but Aram continued. 'Is _that_ why you turned me down? Why didn't you just _tell_ me?' Aram's voice grew louder and more distraught with each question, and he paced back and forth across the small office, wringing his hands. Liz and Samar both stood from their chairs, anxious to calm him down. Liz stepped forward to place a reassuring hand on his arm, but it was no use -and Samar's own efforts were marred by her own distress at the sudden turn of events. The more upset Aram became, the more her eyes welled up.  
'Aram, I'm sorry!' She exclaimed, 'I just didn't know how to tell you!' Aram stopped suddenly and did a double take, staring at Samar. He had been totally surprised at just how devastated and fragile she had looked after realising the truth about her brother; the shock and rush of emotions had even impacted the way she carried herself when she finally returned to the Post Office that evening, and it had been the first time Aram ever had seen her not look the strong and ever-confident person that she normally was. But this... This was another level entirely. Samar stood there in the middle of the office, shoulders slumped, head bowed and shaking all over, with her arms hanging limply by her sides, and tears now starting to roll down her face.   
'You're sorry?' He asked so quietly, his voice was barely audible. the expression on his face softened as he looked at her. 'Samar, you shouldn't be _sorry_. It's just... A shock.' Samar finally looked up to return his gaze, and shot him a quick, appreciative nod while Liz, now content that the yelling and wild waving around of arms was over, took another step sideways to stand by Samar and wrap an arm around her shoulders.   
'It's a shock for all of us, Aram,' Liz gently pointed out. Aram nodded in understanding as he took another deep breath. He wasn't angry at Samar, he was simply surprised- and upset at the fact that she was upset. He knew all too well that it was yet another blow in a rapid series of blows to strike Samar of late. _But,_ Aram felt a touch of anger begin to simmer as another thought came to him; he _was_ furious at Ressler.  
'I need to talk to Ressler,' he muttered after a moment's pause. He turned on his heels to march out of the office, while Liz and Samar exchanged horrified glances.  
'NO!' They cried in unison, stopping Aram in his tracks.  
'-He doesn't know!' Liz added hurriedly. Aram turned back again, as everything finally made sense. Ressler hadn't been acting oddly, just Samar. In fact, Ressler had been acting completely and utterly normal, to the point of being borderline deliberately ignorant of the fact Samar seemed so _not_ normal.    
'You haven't told him... And he hasn't asked?' That annoyed Aram just as much. It had been blatantly obvious that something was bothering Samar, so if Ressler hadn't even thought to ask... Then he was specifically ignoring her, or he was completely blind. Either way, Aram wasn't happy.   
'Not yet,' Samar said, now regaining her sense of calm. 'And if you could just keep this quiet, at least for now... Let me work as usual for a little while longer... Please?' Her eyes pleaded with him, and Aram's heart ached slightly at the sight of them. Aram sighed, before reluctantly nodding, as the sound of Cooper yelling in the war room floated into the office. They had to get back to work. Liz squeezed Samar's hand, and patted Aram gently on the shoulder, before heading back out into the war room with both of them right behind her. 

/*/*/*/* 

A tap on her shoulder made Samar jump, and she turned from her workstation to see Aram standing behind her with his shoulder bag slung over his shoulder, ready to leave. It was the end of the day and they were the last two members of the team left in the war room.   
'Can we talk?' His tone was cautious, but hopeful. Samar nodded, and they stepped into Liz's now empty office. Aram bit his lip before speaking again; he had, as requested, acted as if everything was normal throughout the day, but in the process at least a half dozen questions had accumulated, swirling around in the back of his mind, and now he was eager for them to be answered. 'How long have you known?'  
'Just a few days. And before you ask, you and Liz are the only people who know.'   
'Why not tell Ressler?'  
'He won't exactly be happy about it, and I wanted to come to terms with it myself first, before I have to deal with that. Plus, he'll want to take me out of the field now, even though it's too early.'  
'You're keeping it?'  
'Yes.' Her eyes flashed in determination, and a moment of silence fell between them before Aram spoke again.   
'What about Ressler?  
'I'm going to do this, whether he wants to be a part of it or not. He won't like that when I tell him but...' She trailed off, as her voice started to waver.   
'Do you want him to be a part of it?'  
'Honestly? I don't care. If he does, good for him. If not, I can do this myself.' There was a touch of bitterness in her voice now, and Aram understood why; it was genuinely difficult to predict how Ressler would react, and the very real possibility that he would walk away and force her to go through it all by herself was a hard pill to swallow, simply because it was a cruel thing to do. Aram brushed the loose strands of hair off Samar's face, and tucked them behind her ear; there was absolutely no doubt in his mind that Samar could muddle through on her own, but that didn't mean she should have to.   
'If it were me, I would have stepped up,' he muttered. Samar rolled her eyes good-naturedly at him, amused by how adamant he was. 'I'm glad you and Liz are looking out for each other,' he added. 'I don't want to see you have to struggle on your own.' Samar's lip twitched at that, unsure whether Aram was referring to her _and_ Liz, or just her, but suspecting the latter.    
'We'll be fine. Your crackers and ginger ale are really helping with that, by the way,' she said with a grin  
'Remind me to double the amount I keep in that drawer, now that I have two of you to keep an eye on,' he huffed in mock exasperation. Silence fell between them again for a moment. 'Come to see the movie with me,' he added thoughtfully.  
'Aram, you're not serious. After all this, you still want me to go with you?'  
'Yes, I do. Samar, I care about you, and you know that. The fact that you're pregnant doesn't change that.'  
'The fact that it's Ressler's makes it awkward.'  
'A little. But you're still you.' Aram shot her a cheeky grin. 'Come on, it'll be fun. And you need some fun at the moment.' His stubbornness made Samar chuckle; Aram had a point, and she had no argument to top it.   
'Ok.'


	4. Declarations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Friday, February 12, 2016.

Liz stood up from Aram's workstation chair and began crossing the war room to her office in a huff. Ressler had just announced, bluntly and out of the blue, that he didn't want her in the field with him any more because he didn't want 'to have to worry about a baby in the field as well'. Ressler rolled his eyes as she brushed past him.  
'It's a dangerous job,' he said to nobody in particular, shrugging his shoulders. 'If she didn't want to be banned from field duty at some point, she shouldn't have gotten pregnant.' He glanced at Aram and chuckled, thinking it was all a joke, but Aram just looked back at him stony-faced.  

Liz hadn't quite reached her office before Ressler made his final comment, and she stopped in her tracks, turning on the spot to face them all again with a thunderous look on her face, before marching straight back over and silently sitting down in the empty chair beside Samar. It was true that after a certain point, Liz needed to stay out of the field, for her safety, her baby's safety, and everyone else's safety too -but that didn't mean Ressler had to be nasty about it. And now, not only was Ressler's tirade upsetting to Liz on a personal level, but it also angered her because of the indirect implication it had for her friend. Samar clenched her teeth; she knew what Ressler was trying to say, but his phrasing hit a nerve, and she had finally had enough of his incessant, thoughtless remarks. Aram froze, seeing the looks on both Liz and Samar's faces, and watching Ressler now look back and forth between his two female co-workers in confusion as he tried to figure out why Liz had suddenly returned to the group. The tension in the room intensified as Samar slowly rose from her chair, and strode towards Ressler.   
'A word, _now_ ,' she seethed, grabbing his arm and pulling him along with her to Liz's office. Liz and Aram looked at each other in horror, before they both scurried across the room behind Samar and Ressler, stopping just outside the office door as it slammed in their faces.   
'Oh come on, I know you and Liz are friends, but are you seriously going to have a go at me for saying that?' Ressler complained, once the door was closed.  
'You need to think about what you're saying,' Samar said, barely managing not to yell at him. 'Women don't just _get_ pregnant, that's not how it works. There's a whole step in that process that we can't do on our own.' Ressler rolled his eyes impatiently.   
'You know what I meant,' he growled back at her.   
'Yes, I do. But that's not what you _said_.' Her eyes locked with his, and they stared at each other in silence in a battle of wills.   
'Fine, I'll go back out there and apologise to her. Happy?' His words were in deference to her, but his tone dripped with contempt. Samar took a deep breath to try and calm the anger that was rapidly rising in her gut, but it was no use.  
'No, because you're not going to mean it. I want you to stop being so thoughtless, and stop judging people when you have no idea what's really going on,' Samar yelled. From behind the wall, Liz and Aram shared anxious glances as they heard the volume level rising inside.   
'What's _really_ going on? Tell me Samar, besides Liz being pregnant with Tom Keen's kid, what else could possibly be going on?' Ressler yelled back. Samar paused, suddenly hesitant. She had hoped to delay telling Ressler the truth so soon, but she had been so angry at his words that she had started this conversation about Liz without thinking where it might lead. Samar gritted her teeth, suddenly realising that she was now too angry to care how he reacted.   
'I'm pregnant too!' She burst out furiously. Ressler did a double take.  
'Wait, _what_?'  
' _I'm_ pregnant. So you see, it's not just "women getting pregnant". Congratulations Ressler, you're a part of the whole damn phenomenon too.' Ressler's mouth opened and closed like a fish; he wasn't expecting this particular turn of events in the slightest, and now he was speechless. Samar glared at him in silent rage while he processed that information.   
'Were you even going to tell me? Do I even get a say in whatever you decide to do?' His voice was deathly quiet as he finally responded.  
'Yes, to both. Not that I'm thrilled about it, but it's your child too.'   
'Oh don't worry, I'm not thrilled about my child being yours either,' Ressler spat back.   
'Well you can be happy about one thing; I'm not giving your child up for adoption.'  
'You're keeping it?' He asked, almost surprised. Samar nodded. 'So really then, I don't get a say. You've already decided.' Samar's dark eyes flashed in anger.   
'You can decide whether you want to be a part of it. It's up to you, I'm not going to force you either way. If you want to be a part of this, I won't stop you from seeing your child. If not, I don't care because trust me, I'd much rather do this on my own than with you.' Ressler opened his mouth to interrupt her, but Samar cut him off; '-don't even _try_ to complain about child support. If I'm doing this on my own, I'm not interested in you using monthly payments to justify having a say in what doctor this child sees, what school it goes to, or where it goes on a summer vacation, when you never actually see it. You're either in this, or you're not. But if you tell me you're not interested now, don't you dare expect to have a say later down the track.' Samar was livid now, and no longer bothering to try and stay calm.   
'I see... Do I have to give you an answer now, or do I get to think about it?' Ressler was just as furious. Samar rolled her eyes.  
'Think about it as long as you like, just stop being an ass to Liz in the meantime.' They locked eyes again, until Samar turned on her heels and stormed out of the office, striding straight past Liz and Aram, and wanting to get as far away as possible before the tears welling up in her eyes started rolling down her cheeks. The door slammed behind her once again, and Liz and Aram glanced at each other nervously, unsure whether or not to follow. Two seconds later the door opened again, and Ressler nearly crashed straight into Aram as he too, strode out of the office. 'Did you two know?' He shouted at them as they both leapt back out of his way. Liz and Aram glanced at each other again, both wanting to take the same stand, but not knowing what the other wanted to do.  

Aram bolted in the opposite direction after Samar, just as Liz turned to say her own piece to Ressler.

'Yes, we did,' Liz said, looking straight at Ressler and keeping her voice steady. 'And you know what else is really going on? I considered giving up my child for adoption, so try keeping your mouth shut when it comes to issues you know nothing about. And just so you know, Samar and I are looking out for each other, so if you don't keep your mouth shut, you'll be upsetting _both_ of us. Do you really want that?' Ressler shook his head wordlessly, Liz's sudden outburst having caught him off guard. And with that, she turned and marched away in the same direction as Samar and Aram, leaving Ressler standing there in the office doorway fuming silently.  

/*/*/*/*

Samar had stormed off so quickly that it took Aram a couple of minutes to catch up, but he eventually found her sitting in the emergency stairwell, breathing deeply and trying to calm herself down. He sat down beside her on the step, and wrapped one arm around her shoulders, pulling her in close. Samar leaned in against him, resting her head on his shoulder.  
'How much of that did you guys hear?' She asked, sniffling slightly.  
'Unfortunately... All of it.' Aram looked up as Liz appeared at the top of the stairs behind them, ran down, and sat down on Samar's other side. She wrapped her own arm around Samar, resting it on Aram's, and leaned her head against Samar's shoulder -the three of them now forming a quiet and tangled line of misery and comfort across the step. They sat there in silence, taking comfort in each other's presence and not letting go for what felt like an eternity, before Aram spoke up again.   
'Liz, you should come to the movie with us tonight,' he burst out suddenly, as the thought struck him. Samar looked up at him in surprise, then nodded quickly in agreement, turning to face Liz. 'I can get another ticket easily enough, and the three of us should have a night out...' Aram paused before breaking out a mischievous grin, 'you know, without Ressler.' Samar snorted with laughter and Liz grinned. She looked back and forth at Samar and Aram; they both seemed genuinely enthusiastic for her to join them, but she knew Aram had originally intended the movie night as a date with Samar, and she was hesitant to tag along. She untangled her arms from the others' and stretched, letting out a yawn.   
'That does sound like fun,' she admitted, 'but I was kind of hoping to have an early night tonight.' That was technically true, but Liz wasn't saying it to get out of going. Rather, she wanted them to have their date. 'How about next week we have a movie night together at my new apartment instead?' Samar's face fell slightly; the three of them all going out together seemed like such a good idea after the chaos with Ressler.   
'Are you sure?' She asked. Liz nodded.   
'Think of it as a housewarming, but with just the three of us.'  
'Alright, but I'm bringing the popcorn,' Samar insisted. Aram beamed as he listened to the two of them debate movie snacks, increasingly glad that they were so determined to look after each other. He stood up from the step chuckling, gently squeezing Samar's shoulder to get her attention, then gesturing to the top of the stairs.   
'I'm going to check if the coast is clear yet for us to go back out there,' he said. Liz and Samar both nodded, and went back to happily debating snacks, as Aram ran up the stairs.  

Five minutes later, after finally agreeing that Samar would bring popcorn _and_ ice cream if Liz ordered pizza instead of trying to cook, both their phones beeped as Aram sent through a group text.  
' _All clear, Ressler told Cooper he had a headache and went home_ ,' it read. Liz and Samar both rolled their eyes in amusement, and Samar stood first so she could help Liz get up off the step.   
'Thank you for standing up for me,' Liz said earnestly, as they walked back up the steps. Samar's lip twitched. There was no need for Liz to thank her; they were friends and they had agreed to look out for one another.   
'Thank _you_ for sticking by me.'  
'Any time, don't be ridiculous,' Liz said, slightly surprised. Samar tilted her head slightly and smiled at Liz as they exited the stairwell and re-entered the war room.   
'Exactly.'


	5. Chances

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Friday night, February 12, 2016.

'Ok... What do you want to get for dinner?' Aram asked, as they walked out of the movie theatre and back out on to the street. There were a number of different eateries around, all of which looked good, but he hadn't made a booking anywhere specific because he wasn't sure what Samar would feel like. Samar's eyes wandered up and down the street, taking in all the different options, and lingering only on the ice cream place three doors down from the theatre. Aram watched the thoughtful expression on her face, turning away only to try and figure out what had caught her attention. He spotted the ice cream shop and grinned. 'There will of course, be ice cream for dessert,' he added with a chuckle.   
'Actually,' Samar began, shooting Aram an apologetic look, 'I'm not really hungry.' Aram furrowed his brow in concern; it didn't surprise him that she wasn't hungry. After all, it had been an emotional day, and Samar's appetite was already all over the place as it was, _but...  
_ 'You need to eat something, you've barely eaten all day,' he observed. Samar bit her lip. She _did_ need to eat something, and she _did_ like the idea of having dinner together after the movie, but she really didn't feel like eating anything in particular.  

...Except ice cream.

Actually, the more she thought about it, the more Samar really, _really_ felt like ice cream. Aram waited patiently for Samar to make up her mind, before realising she was still absent-mindedly staring at the ice cream place. He held back a laugh as an idea popped into mind, and amusedly extended his arm for her to take.  
'Samar Navabi, would you like to have ice cream for dinner with me? He teased. Samar glanced back at him in surprise, before letting out a laugh and linking her arm through his.   
'Yes actually, I would,' she said, flashing a quick grin for a fraction of a second before narrowing her eyes again in mock seriousness. 'But if anyone asks, we're blaming it on pregnancy cravings.' Aram burst out laughing as they walked the few feet down the street, arm in arm. God forbid anyone mistake Samar for actually having a sweet, silly side under all her tough exterior. He leaned over to the side slightly to kiss the top of her head, and Samar froze -just short of the door to the ice cream place. Aram froze a second later, realising what he had just done. He was a naturally affectionate person, and had instinctively kissed her without thinking about it -the same way he instinctively put his arm around her or Liz when either of them were upset. But a kiss wasn't the same as a hug, and Samar wasn't nearly as tactile as Aram when it came to expressing affection -especially in public. Their arms untangled, falling to their sides as Samar looked up at Aram in shock. So far, the evening hadn't felt any different to times past when they went out as simply friends, to the point that Samar had almost forgotten it was supposed to be a date - almost. There was some awareness of the fact, but it had mostly been idling around in the back of her mind... Until now. The reality of the situation came rushing back to her as the shock wore off and she finally spotted the terror suddenly crossing Aram's face.   
'Uhh... Um, sorry, I shouldn't have-' he began to stammer. Samar was still surprised, but now only pleasantly so. She had been worried about the potential implications of a date, but the reality was; if Aram was managing to keep the evening so casual that she was relaxed enough to forget them, then his small kiss really wasn't anything to worry about. _In fact_ , Samar thought about it for a moment, _it was kind of nice_. She placed a gentle hand to his cheek, cutting off his nervous stammering.   
'It's ok,' she reassured him, 'it was just a surprise, but it's ok.' Aram let out a nervous smile.  
'Are you sure?' He asked. Samar nodded, her dark eyes now twinkling at him in amusement.   
'Mmhmm.' She took his arm again and pulled him towards the door. 'Now come on, I still need ice cream.'

Samar's eyes went wide as they stepped through the door and looked at the menu on the wall behind the seemingly endless displays of ice cream. It wasn't just any old ice cream parlour with tubs and cones; the menu also listed all kinds of elaborate sundaes, waffles, pancakes, and...  
'Oh, can we share a banana split?' Aram gasped, perhaps a little too eagerly. Samar raised a wary eyebrow; Aram was practically bouncing on the balls of his feet in excitement.   
'What exactly is a banana split?' She asked, mostly curious, but with a touch of hesitation. Aram's head whipped around and he looked at her in dismay.  
'You never had a banana split as a kid?' He yelped. Samar stared at him blankly, waiting for him realise the flaw in his logic. 'Oh right... I guess it's kind of a western thing...' He trailed off as Samar shook her head in amused exasperation.   
'I'm about to learn what it is, aren't I?' Aram nodded adamantly, and leapt forward to place the order at the counter. Samar took a seat at one of the booths, and waited for Aram to return with the mysterious dessert. Within a few minutes, a huge sundae dish appeared on the table in front of her, and Aram sat down opposite.   
'Ok, I see the appeal now,' Samar said, grinning as she looked at the contents of the dish. 'I see why we have to share it too, it's ridiculous.' Aram handed her a spoon, still beaming like a kid at Christmas.   
'Yeah, I went a bit overboard with the toppings,' he admitted. 'But I had them add an extra scoop of chocolate ice cream, just for you.' Aram had long ago discovered Samar's weakness for anything chocolate and he figured that if any day came with a need for extra chocolate, it was the day she had a screaming match with Ressler. Samar bit her lip, knowing that Aram was still trying to make her feel better -until another thought came to mind.   
'You're not going to end up with an insane sugar rush, are you?' She asked warily. The caffeine buzz he'd had one time while working extra late on a case was frightening enough; the rest of them had banned him from drinking more than two cups of coffee in an hour after that, and even that was still extreme. Aram shrugged his shoulders sheepishly.   
'...Maybe? But it'll definitely be worth it.' He dug his spoon into the side of the sundae, and took the first mouthful. Samar followed suit, and Aram waited impatiently for her reaction. She maintained a neutral face for an extra few seconds, just to toy with him. 'What do you think?' Aram eventually asked, unable to contain himself any longer.   
'It's good,' she said, both of them knowing that was an understatement. Aram's entire face lit up with glee, and it was hard for Samar not to laugh at him.

/*/*/*/*

As the night went on, Aram's excitement began to wear off and slowly be replaced with dread. Everything had gone so much better than he had expected, and now he was sad for it to come to an end. After they had finished their banana split and taken another stroll to enjoy the nightlife atmosphere, they finally conceded defeat to the collective exhaustion that had been tormenting them -but particularly Samar- for the last week, and decided it was time to go home. Having now driven Samar back to her apartment building, Aram followed her through the main entrance and up the stairs, totally oblivious to the fact he was holding her hand the entire way. They stopped as they reached her door, and Aram's dread reached its all-time low; he didn't want to say goodbye, and he didn't even know _how_. Somehow Samar's hand untangled from his so she could unlock her front door, finally bringing Aram's attention to the fact he had been holding it in the first place. He watched her open the door, not entirely sure whether he hoped she would invite him in or not. Part of him hoped not; it would only delay the inevitable departure. Samar glanced at him hesitantly without stepping inside the apartment -almost as if she was considering the exact same dilemma- until Aram made the executive decision. After all that had happened recently, all Aram really wanted to do was wrap his arms around Samar and hold her close, but now wasn't the right moment for that. He brushed the hair off her face, gently tucking it behind her ear, then pressed a light kiss to her cheek. Samar closed her eyes just for the second that Aram's face lingered so close to hers, feeling so overwhelmed that she didn't want him to have to pull away.   
'I'll see you on Monday?' Aram half asked, half observed, his voice a mix of hope and sadness. Samar nodded silently. She wished he could stay a little longer, but knew it was still too soon... Too new... And too awkward. Aram let out a tiny, wistful smile and squeezed her hand; he knew they each knew what the other was thinking. 'Goodnight,' he added softly. He shifted uneasily on his feet for a moment, before bowing his head and walking away. Samar stared after Aram in a daze as he walked down the hall, away from her. She shook her head, trying to snap herself out of it, and finally entered her apartment, closing the door behind her, then heading straight for the couch and collapsing onto it.   
'What are you _doing?'_   She growled quietly to herself. The night out had been such a beautiful end to what had otherwise been such an awful day, Samar had allowed herself to become far more swept up in it than she normally would have. It was everything she could have ever wanted; Aram was smart, he was kind, and he cared about her, _a lot_. It was just so easy for her to let her guard down with him. But the timing was so wrong, and every positive thing Samar could think of about the whole situation was marred by doubt that it would last; that at some point, she would be forced to choose between a relationship or her child -and that choice was obvious. There was no doubt in Samar's mind that if it came down to it, she would choose her child. But what did that mean for Aram? She laid back on the couch, absentmindedly resting a protective hand on her belly, wondering, just wondering... How much of a chance did she have of everything finally coming together?


	6. Wordless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Wednesday, February 24, 2016.

The huddle of his teammates and the chattering of their voices captured Ressler's attention the second he stepped out of the elevator and into the war room. Walking briskly past the staircase and across the room, he tried not to stare at Liz, Aram and Samar as they stood around Aram's workstation looking intently at something in Samar's hand that he couldn't see, but their collective ooh-ing and aah-ing as Liz promptly compared the something to another something in her own hand, made it impossible not to be curious. Ressler's not-so subtle glancing over his shoulder eventually caught Aram's eye and he gave a short, but polite nod in recognition of Ressler's arrival.  
'Morning, Ressler,' Aram added casually, before looking back at whatever it was he was eagerly discussing with Liz and Samar, who were on the other side of the desk with their backs to the office. Ressler stayed still at the doorway of his office, observing the trio but unsure whether to join them. He had managed to work with all three of them with complete professionalism over the nearly two weeks since Samar's announcement, but there was still a tension that lingered in the air; no more arguments or major differences in opinion had occurred, but there was now a distinct gap between Ressler and the other three. Such as now; there they were chatting and laughing over the usual crackers and ginger ale, completely relaxed and comfortable with each other, while Ressler stood on the outer, more or less convinced that he wasn't welcome to partake in the conversation. Of course, at no point had any of them deliberately excluded him. In fact, they had all been working to maintain a civil and polite working environment, but they also didn't invite him to join in or enthusiastically start personal conversations with him the way they did with each other. Ressler took a sip of his coffee as he stood in the doorway, continuing to observe them, and finally realised what the 'somethings' were as they passed between hands.  

 _Ultrasound pictures_.

Both Liz's and Samar's, it seemed. They were showing each other and Aram -who was intently picking out the smallest details in each one and comparing them in total fascination. Ressler felt a slight pang of guilt in his gut; he was so curious to see the pictures, but he was also extremely conscious of the fact that he still hadn't really spoken to Samar about the pregnancy since her announcement, let alone given her an answer -he was still desperately trying to figure out how he felt about it all himself. Nonetheless, Samar seemed quite content, almost cheerful, talking about it with Liz and Aram. Another anxious pang rocked his gut as he noticed the hand Samar had subconsciously rested over her belly, move away to swap the pictures back and forth; she was starting to show. It was an ever so slight swell, that anyone unaware of the situation probably wouldn't even notice but to those who knew to look for it, her fitted tank top seemed _just_ a little tighter than usual around the middle. Ressler furrowed his brow, wondering if he just hadn't noticed it yesterday or if it had simply appeared overnight, until he remembered; over the last few days Samar had been wearing her more loosely-fitting, flowy tops. It was only now that one of her tank tops had made a reappearance, that the tiny swell was actually visible. The more he thought about it, the more curious Ressler became, wondering how Samar was feeling, if the baby was healthy, and... When it was due. The guilty pang in Ressler's gut suddenly turned into anxious churning as he realised; he had completely forgotten to actually ask Samar during the original conversation, how far along she was -but he was certain that _she_ would have noted the unfortunate omission. With a small sigh, Ressler approached the group. He couldn't avoid them forever, and he really did want to do the right thing -he just wasn't yet sure what the right thing was.  

They looked up in mild surprise as Ressler stopped at the end of the desk.   
'Good morning,' he said, as casual and friendly as he could manage over his nerves. He glanced for a second at the ultrasound pictures scattered across the desk, before looking back at his co-workers; it was a personal moment that he knew he was potentially invading, and he didn't want either Liz or Samar to feel obligated to share if they didn't want to. Aram glanced back and forth between Liz and Samar, and Ressler; hoping that the tension could be eased by Ressler being able to finally join to conversation, but painfully aware of the fact that it wasn't his place to share the moment.  
'Morning, Ressler,' Liz eventually replied, while Samar remained quiet. 'Uh, I had my twenty week scan yesterday... Do you want to see the pictures?' Ressler nodded and behind the desk, Liz's spare hand gave Samar's a quick squeeze, knowing the conflict that was inevitably now rising in her mind. With her other hand, Liz handed over her own pictures to Ressler. The issue was between him and Samar, not her, and offering her own pictures with the glaring exclusion of Samar's allowed Ressler to ease into the conversation while still giving Samar the time to think and the chance to decide whether to offer up her own. Ressler took the little photo squares from Liz and earnestly looked at the detail in each one, suddenly feeling overwhelmed by the sheer reality they faced him with. Liz, Samar and Aram waited quietly, watching the expression on Ressler's face slowly change into one of wonder. Samar bit her lip, knowing she probably should share her own pictures but still feeling protective of them, and painfully impatient with Ressler's delay in approaching her before now.   
'They're amazing,' Ressler murmured quietly, as he looked at the last one, then smiled at Liz. A moment of silence fell between them all as Samar agonised over her own. They still lay scattered over Aram's desk. She hadn't immediately moved to hide them and to Ressler's credit, he was avoiding staring at them despite the fact they were right in front of him. Samar quickly picked one up, realising Ressler was at least trying to make peace, and gingerly handed it to him. He gazed at it longingly for a second, then quickly shifted his gaze back to Samar. 'Are you sure?' He asked. Samar nodded, and Ressler took the picture from her. Samar quickly picked up the rest of the pictures from the desk, ready to hand them to him.   
'It's, uh... About twelve weeks,' Samar said, as she prompted him to take the rest of the pictures from her hand. As Ressler had predicted, she _was_ slightly bitter about the fact he had forgotten to ask, but she did understand at least that the oversight _had_ occurred during a particularly intense conversation.   
'Is it healthy?' Ressler asked, a sudden touch of urgency to his voice.   
'Seems to be,' Samar said, nodding.   
'And you're feeling ok?' Ressler glanced worriedly at the crackers and ginger ale still on the desk.  
'More or less,' she tried to reassure him. Liz and Aram stood silently, ready to step in if necessary, but otherwise staying out of the conversation. Ressler set the small pile of pictures back down on the table in front of Samar, wordlessly processing it all.   
'Thank you,' he said. They held each other's gaze until Cooper's voice booming from upstairs drew Ressler's eyes away. 'I should probably go deal with that,' he let out a nervous laugh, 'but, thank you.' Samar let out a small smile, and Ressler reluctantly walked away.   
'He still hasn't given you an answer?' Liz asked curiously, once Ressler was out of earshot. The three of them had already fallen into a routine of spending at least one, if not two, evenings together each week, watching movies and talking about whatever was on their respective minds. But, Samar had tried to keep all talk of Ressler to a minimum despite her frustration with him, simply to try and maintain some level of peace within the team -not that it mattered; Liz and Aram were annoyed at Ressler regardless.   
'No,' Samar sighed. 'He's still coming to terms with it. I'm not happy about it but... I understand.' Liz and Aram glanced at each other, then back to Samar, knowing how hard it was for her to still be uncertain what part Ressler may or may not play in the future. Samar stared straight back at them, not sure what else they expected her to say. Liz's expression was hard to read, but Aram had let out a goofy, though oddly proud, smile. Another agent across the room waved a file to get Liz's attention, and after giving Samar's hand another quick squeeze, she hurried over to see what they wanted, leaving Samar and Aram alone at the desk. Samar shifted awkwardly on her feet; she was still grappling with the idea of what their relationship was becoming, but Aram understood her conflict just as she now understood Ressler's, so he didn't push. 'Aram,' Samar chuckled uneasily, 'you're staring at me.'  
'Oh, sorry,' Aram quickly looked away, but then back at her again a second later with a guilty grin, 'I can't help it.' Samar rolled her eyes, amused by his antics. It was sweet moments like this, that made her wish she wasn't so conflicted. It didn't stop the inkling of doubt that refused to vacate its place in the back of Samar's mind, but Aram's patience was slowly reassuring her a little more each day, and slowly convincing her that they might have a chance. She strolled around the desk and playfully swatted him over the shoulder as she passed him.  
'Come on, let's go see what this case is.'


	7. Progress

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Saturday, March 5, 2016.

Liz gasped suddenly, dropping the bag of popcorn all over the kitchen counter and clutching her belly. Samar spun around wildly on the spot to see what was happening, and Liz lunged forward to grab Samar's hand and place it on her belly. Samar stumbled forward at the force of Liz's pull, but managed to catch her balance before the pair of them crashed into one another.   
'Liz, what the hell?!' Samar yelped. Liz held Samar's hand firmly against her belly, but Samar couldn't feel anything.  
'It kicked!' She exclaimed, 'I swear, I felt it kick.'   
'Well, it's stopped now,' Samar observed, a little disappointed. 'Maybe it knows Aram isn't back yet?' It was movie night again, and though he and Samar had arrived together, Aram had ended up opting to duck back out to pick up the pizzas Liz had ordered over the phone. Liz shrugged her shoulders and let out a short chuckle.   
'It's possible,' she mused. 'Ooh! There it is again!' She reached for Samar's hand -though this time without nearly pulling her over- and placed it on her belly once more. Samar raised an eyebrow before breaking into a grin as she felt the movement start up again. They stood there together for a minute, not moving but grinning like idiots, until the sound of a knock on the door made Samar pull her hand away so that she could hurry to answer the door. 'Nooo, you have to feel it moving!' Liz objected with a tiny pout, following Samar out of the kitchen. She had been in a silly, mischievous mood all day, and now she was excited as well.   
'Do you really want to leave the pizza standing outside?' Samar asked, turning to face Liz again but without breaking her stride, so that she was now walking backwards towards the hallway.   
'Aww, is that all Aram is to you?' Liz teased, grasping for Samar's hand again, and holding onto it tightly so she couldn't escape again.  
'When I'm hungry, yes,' she huffed. They walked down the short hallway to Liz's front door, their arms linked in the most bizarre way possible as Samar's arm bent at a sideways angle so that they could move side by side while Liz firmly kept Samar's hand in place. 'This is ridiculous,' Samar grumbled, 'you know there's going to come a time where we won't fit down the hallway like this, right?' Liz rolled her eyes.  
'Stop complaining, you love it,' she teased. Samar narrowed her eyes, but the not-so subtle lip twitch gave it away, making Liz laugh. Samar _did_ find the whole thing hilarious, but she wasn't going to admit it. With her free hand Samar opened the door, Liz still by her side but now also just slightly back a step so that the door could open properly. Aram did a double take as the door opened and he saw the two of them standing there; Liz struggling not to laugh, and Samar trying –and failing- to look cranky.  
'What-' He started to ask, as Samar pulled him into the apartment and closed the door behind him.  
'Don't ask,' she tried to warn him.  
'The baby's kicking!' Liz exclaimed. The trio hurried down the hall back towards the kitchen, Samar finally managing to wrestle her hand free from Liz's grasp, as Aram ended up sandwiched between them. Arriving at the end of the hall and now no longer attached to Samar, Liz reached for Aram's hand, nearly pulling him over just as she had done to Samar earlier.  

Samar  _ just _ managed to rescue the pizza boxes from his arms before they toppled to the floor.  

'Sorry,' Liz added sheepishly to Samar, before grinning back at Aram. Samar rolled her eyes in mock exasperation, setting the pizza boxes down _safely_ on the counter. Aram stared back at Liz, his eyes wide with wonder as the baby kicked against his hand on her belly.  
'That... Has to be the freakiest thing I have ever felt,' he commented. 'Oh, it stopped...' Aram's hand dropped back to his side, and Liz shrugged again.  
'Well, it was a good run, I guess.'  
'Does it always feel like that?' Aram asked curiously, glancing sideways at Samar.  
'Not sure,' said Liz, thoughtfully, 'I think it's different for everyone, and that was the first time.' Aram beamed, suddenly very pleased at having been present for such an important moment but Samar's face remained neutral, her mind wandering again.   
'Ah,' Aram nodded in understanding, before turning his gaze back to the odd expression on Samar's face. Her eyes had drifted so that she was staring at nothing in particular, almost as if she was remembering something –but Aram had no idea what. Samar blinked, realising Aram was watching her, and quickly returned his gaze.   
'Hi, by the way,' she teased, hoping to change the subject before he asked what she was thinking. Aram gave her a soft smile; he had been about to comment that if Liz was only just starting to feel her baby move, then Samar undoubtedly had a few more weeks to go before she felt the same, but the odd look on her face had stopped him. He was curious, but he noted the quick change in her expression –and the subject- and decided not to ask.   
'Hi back,' he said with a wink, quickly kissing her cheek and subtly giving her hand a reassuring squeeze to one side where Liz –who had at some point, moved the extra few steps over to the counter and started picking up the popcorn she spilled earlier- couldn't see. He had no idea what had caused the sudden change in Samar's demeanour, but he wanted her to know that whatever it was, he was sure everything was ok. Samar blushed at the kiss, knowing Liz was right there, but returned Aram's hand squeeze all the same. Though Liz was very determinedly trying to look like she wasn't looking, it wasn't really working –she was struggling to contain the sheer delight on her face. 'Ok...' Aram began awkwardly, recognising the end of the moment and taking the few steps over to the counter. Samar followed, just closely enough that the tips of Aram's fingers stayed lingering across her own –albeit still shielded by the counter between them and Liz- and picked up a stray piece of popcorn that had rolled to the other side of the counter, popping it in her mouth with a quick grin. 'What movies did you guys pick for tonight?' 

/*/*/*/* 

Three movies, two pizzas, and one mad dash to unfold the fold-out couch later, Samar and Liz both dozed soundly on the couch. Liz had been the first to drift off; about halfway through the last movie she had rested her head on Samar's shoulder, and within five minutes, her eyes were firmly closed. Samar had then –without even thinking about it- shuffled a little lower on her seat so that Liz could be more comfortable, before promptly resting her own head atop Liz's. Aram had kept his eyes directed straight at the television screen, observing them only via his peripheral vision so as not to make Samar blush again, until her own breathing began to slow and she too, fell asleep. Aram was still wide awake, and now that the last movie was finished, he swivelled in his own seat to observe them, a gentle smile tugging at his lips. For all their tough exteriors, right now they simply looked tired, and very, very sweet. Aram's protective impulse twinged through the serenity he felt as he watched them. Sure, Liz and Samar were undoubtedly better at protecting themselves –Aram certainly wasn't the one who ran around kicking down doors and catching bad guys every day- but it was hard to see two of his favourite people on earth sleep so soundly side by side, Liz's wavy hair tangled through Samar's curls, and not feel the need to keep them both safe -especially when of late, they had both been through so much.  

The gentle smile faded away, quickly replaced with a more perplexed expression as another thought occurred to him; he had no idea what exactly he was supposed to do when he was the only person left awake in a friend's home. It didn't seem right to just get up and go home, leaving them there asleep on the couch, but Aram also knew how tired they both were and didn't want to wake them. After a moment's thought, he settled on a third option; he could delay deciding between the first two, by tidying up. He rose from the chair and switched off the television, before picking up the pizza boxes and plates from the table as he crossed the room to the kitchen. The sudden movement made Liz begin to stir, and Aram froze on the spot, anxious not to make too much noise. Liz's eyes flickered open and she let out a sleepy smile as she slowly woke up and realised Samar was asleep beside her. She carefully wriggled away from Samar's side so as not to wake her, before turning to face Aram.  
'You didn't have to tidy up,' she said softly.   
'I didn't know what else to do... I wasn't sure if I should wake you,' he said sheepishly. Liz glanced back at Samar and furrowed her brow.  
'Oh, I guess that's a good question...' She murmured, before slowly rising from the couch. Still asleep, Samar rolled onto her side and buried her face into the cushions. 'But, I think maybe we should just let her sleep,' Liz tried to hold back a chuckle. Aram nodded in agreement, as Liz reached for one of the blankets from the back of the couch and draped it over Samar. 'You don't have to stay, I'm sure we can manage to look after ourselves just fine in the morning,' she added with a small grin, knowing Aram would feel guilty about leaving Samar there, when he was supposed to have driven her home.   
'Are you sure?' Aram hesitated, but Liz gave him a reassuring nod. He wandered slowly back over to the couch, and reached forward to brush away the hair that had fallen across Samar's face when she rolled over, before stooping to press a kiss to her forehead. From the other side of the couch, Liz averted her gaze so as not to stare at the tender moment, but couldn't resist smiling at how sweet it was -and how glad she was that after all the chaos, there was finally something positive happening. She followed Aram to the front door, and he paused just short of it. He wrapped his arms around Liz, pulling her into a bear hug. 'Good night Liz,' he said, smiling warmly as he finally pulled away and stepped through the doorway.   
'Good night,' she murmured back. She watched him walk away and round the corner, before closing the door, switching off the last few lights, and going to bed. 


	8. Silence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Thursday, March 24, 2016.

Ressler cautiously surveyed the war room; he had been wanting to speak privately to Aram all day, but Aram had barely moved from his workstation since he arrived and Ressler hadn't been able to subtly pull him away. So now, Ressler was forced to wait for a moment where nobody else from the team was around and it was safe to quietly approach instead. Liz and Samar had disappeared into the break room for lunch, but Cooper remained in the room. Ressler watched Cooper give Aram one last order, before leaving Aram's desk and heading upstairs to his office. With a touch of hesitation, Ressler decided that this might be his only chance to strike, so he strolled over to Aram's desk, hoping to seem casual.   
'Hey Aram,' Ressler greeted him, a little too enthusiastically. Aram raised a wary eyebrow, instantly wondering what on earth Ressler wanted.  
'Hi Ressler,' Aram replied simply. His tone was polite, but lacking the same false enthusiasm as Ressler's. Ressler's forced smile faded, realising his casual approach wasn't fooling Aram. Unbeknownst to the pair of them, Samar stood behind one of the larger concrete columns just within earshot, listening intently, a look of concern slowly working its way across her face.   
'Can I ask you something?' Ressler asked, giving up on the cheerful pretence altogether.   
'Technically, you just did,' Aram didn't even look up from his computer. Behind the column, Liz approached; making her own way past Samar and back towards the war room. Samar grabbed her arm and pulled her back, silently gesturing at her to be quiet and pointing at Aram and Ressler. Suddenly realising what was happening and why Samar was hiding, Liz ducked behind the column to listen too.   
'Is everything ok with Liz and Samar?' Ressler pushed. Aram finally returned his gaze, now completely confused as to what Ressler was getting at.   
'What do you mean?'   
'You know, with them, and their pregnancies...' Ressler wasn't sure how to ask what he wanted to know, without giving it away. 'Everything's ok, right? They're not having any problems? I know they said everything was ok, but you're closer to them than I am-' Aram forced himself to keep his expression neutral; _that was an understatement_. '-I just want to make sure that they’re alright... That there's nothing wrong that they're not telling me.' Aram furrowed his brow as Ressler trailed off, finally understanding what he was doing. It was Samar who had specifically said to Ressler that everything was going smoothly when he looked at the ultrasound pictures four weeks earlier, but now Ressler was asking about both her and Liz in the most vague way possible; he was fishing, and specifically for insight into Samar.   
'You haven't spoken to her?' Aram asked in surprise, so annoyed that he didn't even bother playing along with Ressler's ruse. Six weeks had now passed since she told him she was pregnant, and though Samar hadn't mentioned having spoken to Ressler in any kind of detail about it since, Aram had just assumed that _surely_ , they would have had some kind of conversation by now. The fact that he now knew Samar was _still_ waiting on Ressler to say something infuriated Aram, but he kept his voice steady, sincerely doubting that Samar would want him to make a scene in the middle of the war room even if it was for her sake. Ressler noted Aram's use of the more specific pronoun, realising that Aram saw right through his efforts to be casual.   
'Uhh no, not really... I don't think she really wants to talk to me about it.' Ressler shifted uneasily on his feet as Aram just blinked at him, unconvinced; it was a poor excuse and they both knew it, but Ressler was set on continuing with it. 'But she talks to you... I mean, you guys are pretty, uh... close, right?' Aram's heart rate quickened; he hadn't thought that anyone else besides Liz knew that he and Samar were more than just friends... _But did Ressler know?_ Now it was Aram's turn to fish; romantic entanglements between co-workers were against FBI protocols and, Ressler's one night stand with Samar notwithstanding, Aram was fairly certain that if Ressler knew or at least suspected that he and Samar were anything more than friends, it would land them in hot water faster than Samar could terrify the average person with a single glare –which was to say; pretty damn fast. Was Ressler fishing to confirm suspicions as well? Or was his wording simply awkward coincidence? Aram needed to find out.   
'I guess that depends on what you mean by 'close',' Aram said, shrugging his shoulders, trying to seem indifferent.   
'Well, you and Liz are who she spends the most time with. You're all friends, and you hang out, right? I think I heard Liz mention a movie night at one point. So, you guys are closer to her than I am,' Ressler explained, suddenly curious as to why Aram would question such a thing. They locked eyes with one another for a moment, both now slightly bewildered and completely confused by the sheer volume of failed subtext layered through the conversation. Behind the column, both Samar and Liz shook their heads in exasperation.  
'This is a train wreck,' observed Liz, her voice barely anything more than a whisper. Samar smirked, but didn't respond. She agreed with Liz's observation completely, but she wasn't _quite_ as amused; Ressler's continued avoidance of her was irritating, and Aram's near slip-up only added to her list of worries.    
'I guess that's true, but it's not my place to tell you about anything going on with Samar,' Aram finally responded, 'if you really want to know, you should go talk to her yourself.' He turned back to face his computer again, as he rather emphatically uttered the last few words, hoping Ressler would get the message. Ressler gritted his teeth and nodded slowly, noting that the conversation was abruptly coming to an end. He turned and walked away again, frustrated at his own inability to figure things out, while Aram returned to working at whatever task Cooper had him running on his computer. All the while, Samar and Liz stood behind the concrete column still silently listening. A soft smile crossed Samar's face at how Aram had managed to make his point so perfectly. Had the roles been reversed, she would have just told Ressler to shove it. 


	9. Patience

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Wednesday, March 30, 2016.

Aram quickly reached out and grabbed Samar by the arm as she stumbled, stopping her from being knocked over by the cranky business man pushing and shoving his way through the queue to make his way out of the coffee shop.   
'Hey!' Aram protested, but the business man just flipped him the finger without looking back, and finally exited the shop. Samar scowled at the man as he left -so fiercely that Aram was honestly glad looks couldn't kill- and rubbed the now painful spot on her shoulder where the man had knocked her. Aram shifted his gaze back to her, the anger on his face now morphing to concern as he let go of her arm and put his own around her while they continued waiting for their coffees. 'You ok?' He asked worriedly. Samar nodded vehemently, the scowl on her face barely fading, but still leaned into him ever so slightly.   
'He's lucky I'm not _more_ pregnant,' she grumbled, 'if I had a bigger belly and he'd walked into it, I would have taken that as license to arrest him, just for being an asshole.'  
'I'd love to see _that_ incident report,' Aram chuckled, reaching for their coffees as the barista called their number and handing Samar's to her. They began making their way –with far less pushing and shoving than the cranky business man- away from the queue to exit the shop.    
'I'd file it under 'assault of a federal agent', and I'm pretty sure Ressler wouldn’t dare dispute it,' she muttered darkly, as they walked. Aram flashed back on the awkward conversation he'd had with Ressler a week earlier, and agreed wholeheartedly; Ressler knew all too well that his avoidance of Samar was becoming more and more of an issue, so he was making a concerted effort not to get in her way when it came to anything else. Not to mention, all of Ressler's internal conflicts aside, it was doubtful that he would stand for some grouchy idiot in a suit potentially harming the baby. Samar took a sip of her coffee, then paused and glancing at Aram appreciatively. 'Thank you, by the way. For not letting me fall.' Aram simply winked at her, his eyes twinkling with amusement.   
'Don't mention it. Actually, I was about to ask if next time, you'd like me to let you fall so you could present the bruises as evidence for your incident report. But, I guess I can stop you from toppling over again.' Samar did a double take and looked at him in astonishment.   
'When did you get so cheeky?'  
'Too much time spent in the war room with you, I think,' he deadpanned.   
'There's no such thing,' she huffed in mock indignation –it was a rare occasion that Aram managed to outmaneuver her in a battle of verbal sparring. But then again, she'd been off her game recently. Nonetheless, Aram internally patted himself on the back for managing to distract Samar from her frustrations so quickly. They crossed the street and headed towards the small park at the end; not having a new case from Reddington meant that they could actually take the full lunch break mandated by Bureau policy, which in turn meant that they had time to enjoy it outside the Post Office building for once.   
'Do you want to sit down?' Aram asked, gesturing to one of the empty benches under the trees after they had walked in silence for a minute.   
'Sure, why not?' They sat down, sipping at their coffees and enjoying the gentle breeze. 'Aram?' Samar eventually began again, after another pause.   
'Mmm?'  
'I know I have a hard time talking about things, or sharing what's on my mind sometimes, and I know that must be difficult,' she confessed, 'but even though I don't always say so, I do appreciate how patient and understanding you are all the time.' Aram turned in his set to glance at her, slightly startled.  
'I know that,' he said. He furrowed his brow, wondering what had brought on the sudden announcement. 'Why do you mention it?' Samar bit her lip; she hadn't planned on saying anything, but after the way Aram had dealt with Ressler a week earlier –which he still didn't know she knew about- Samar figured it was about time she said something.  
'Just wanted to make sure,' she said, before trailing off. 'I know I've hesitated a little with... Well, us. There has been so much going on lately, and I've had a lot to deal with. I do want everything to work out between us... I've just had-'  
'-a lot to think about. I know,' Aram was quick to reassure her. Samar let out an uneasy laugh.  
'You know, normally I move a lot faster with guys. This is kind of an irregularity.' Aram didn't think it was so odd; with everything that had happened, it was to be expected that Samar's trademark confidence would have taken a hit. Not to mention, she no longer had just herself to think about, but her baby as well. All he wanted was to be there for her as best he could, and as much or a little as she would allow him to be. He put his arm around her shoulders again and gently kissed the top of her head.  
'I can wait,' he murmured. Samar felt her face grow warm and cursing her hormones, hurriedly blinked her suddenly welling-up tear ducts back into submission before even a single rogue tear managed to escape. Once again, she couldn't believe how amazing he was to her. She quickly turned, nearly bumping her head against his, and kissed his cheek.  
'Thank you,' she whispered. Aram nearly jumped in surprise; as much as he had kissed Samar and held her hand, not once had she voluntarily returned the gesture before now. His entire face lit up in delight; it was such a seemingly small gesture, but from Samar, and at a time like this, it meant a lot. Aram remained beaming speechlessly, until Samar's embarrassment subsided and was replaced by an amused eye roll. 'Come on,' she gently teased him, 'if we keep sitting here like this, we're going to be late getting back.' She stood from the bench, taking Aram's hand and pulling him along with her as they left the park and headed back down the street to the Post Office, both of them smiling and laughing contentedly as they went. Aram knew Samar still wasn't ready to jump straight into the deep end, but it was progress. 


	10. Surprises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Saturday, April 16, 2016.

'Ok, so...' The doctor glanced away from the screen and back to Samar, shooting her a quick smile, 'would you like to know whether your baby is a boy or a girl?' The nineteen week scan had gone smoothly so far, but Samar had totally forgotten that this was the week where she could resolve that particular curiosity if she wanted to, so now she looked back and forth between the doctor and the screen, suddenly indecisive. Liz chuckled quietly beside her; she had invited herself along to Samar's scan to both be supportive, and for the two of them to get lunch together afterwards and make a day of it because...Well... Why not?  
'That idea put me on the spot for a moment too, don't worry,' Liz said, after her chuckle subsided.   
'I honestly don't know,' Samar was completely stumped. In part, even though she didn't have a particular preference, the curiosity was still killing her, but on the other hand... Knowing made it real, and _that_ made her anxious. 'Liz, what did you choose?'   
'I opted to find out,' she said offhandedly, before giving up on trying to seem casual and letting out a grin and a wink, 'I couldn't resist.' Samar stared at her in surprise; that would have been the very scan that Liz had shared pictures of at Aram's desk a few weeks earlier, and Samar couldn't recall being able to tell from looking at the images.  
'You didn't say anything!' Samar exclaimed. She couldn't believe how well Liz had managed to keep the information to herself without her excitement giving it away, _but then again_... 'Is _that_ why you were in such an excitable mood a few weeks ago?' Liz nodded and Samar shook her head in mock-exasperation at the mischievous glee on Liz's face.   
'To be fair, I didn't want to say anything unless you knew yours,' Liz added, with a touch of seriousness. Samar took a deep breath, as a mischievous idea of her own popped into mind.   
'In that case,' Samar looked back at the doctor, 'can you tell Liz instead? Then she can tell me later, when it finally drives me crazy.'   
'Hey, come on! It's hard enough keeping mine to myself!' Liz protested. Samar shot her a wry smile.  
'Exactly.' It was a great compromise too, actually; Liz would inevitably let it slip at some point, meaning Samar would technically still be surprised -but _earlier_. Samar smirked, amused by her own moment of evil genius. Liz narrowed her eyes, wondering if she could call Samar's bluff; she knew that her knowing would only make Samar even more curious.    
'Ok, tell me,' she quipped. The doctor silently watched the back-and-forth of their antics, struggling not to laugh.  
'Alright... Samar, if you could just look away for a moment...' Samar did as she was told, turning her head to look at the wall in the opposite direction. The doctor pointed out the relevant details on the screen to Liz, before switching it off a second later. 'Ok, we're all done.' Samar sat up from the table, shaking her head in amusement at the smug look on Liz's face, and suddenly realising a moment too late that Liz would now undoubtedly enjoy torturing her with misinformation. Samar swung her legs around to the table's edge, smoothing out her shirt and then standing up, ready to go. They walked out of the room, the building, and the hospital in turn -each laughing intermittently at their own ridiculousness- before exiting onto the street, and heading towards lunch.  

/*/*/*/*

'You know what the good thing is about knowing in advance whether it's a boy or a girl?' Liz asked oh-so-casually as they walked down the street away from the café where they ate lunch. Samar narrowed her eyes; it hadn't taken Liz long to start pestering.  
'Nope, but I'm pretty sure you're about to tell me,' she mused.   
'I only have to think of one name, instead of two potentials. It makes the decision process _so_ much easier.' A thoughtful expression crossed Samar's face as she thought about that for a second; Liz did have a very valid point. Plus, the more Samar thought about it, the more the possibilities triggered anxious reminders of bad memories. 'Hey,' Liz prompted, interrupting Samar's drifting thoughts. Samar looked up from where her eyes had wandered aimlessly to the ground as they walked, suddenly noting that Liz had actually stopped moving. Liz pointed at the shop she had stopped in front of, pointing eagerly. 'Are you still craving ice cream?'  
'Tell me,' said Samar abruptly. Liz raised her eyebrows.  
'Wait, what?' She hadn't expected Samar to give in so quickly.   
'Whether the baby is a boy or a girl... Tell me.' Liz stared at the curious look on Samar's face, before breaking out into a wide smile.   
'Can I tell you with ice cream?'  
'Liz...' Samar sighed, but Liz had already made her decision. She pulled Samar by the arm through the door to the shop and gestured for her to sit at one of the tables before lining up at the counter, leaving Samar wondering how on earth Liz could make such a reveal with something like ice cream.  

Just a few minutes later, Liz returned with an ice cream cone in each hand; one mint chocolate chip, and one plain chocolate topped with purple sprinkles. Samar eyed the latter warily, as Liz handed it to her and sat down; she _never_ added sprinkles to her ice cream, and Liz knew that.   
'...Purple sprinkles? What exactly are you trying to tell me?' Samar asked, perplexed. Purple could mean so many things and _really_ , Samar thought about it for a second, _purple was the colour that more than anything, she predominantly associated with Aram_.   
'Well,' Liz shrugged nonchalantly, 'I figure you're not a fan of gender stereotypes.' Samar rolled her eyes.  
'I don't think you get how this 'reveal' thing is supposed to work.'  
'I should probably mention they're also out of pink sprinkles,' Liz added, struggling to keep a straight face. Samar's eyes went wide, realising what that meant.  
'It's a girl?' Samar wasn't sure how she felt about that.   
'Mmhmm,' Liz said, nodding enthusiastically. 'Actually...' Her gaze shifted down to her belly for a split second before grinning back at Samar again, her eyes twinkling, 'they both are.' Samar let out a soft smile at the delight on Liz's face, knowing that Liz had always dreamt of a daughter –and pleased that she had something else to focus on beside her own her own dilemmas- before breaking into a chuckle.  
'How long have you been desperately waiting to tell me that?'  
'Ugh, since the second I found out! It nearly killed me, you have no idea how many times I almost just yelled it at you.'  
'Well, thank you for _not_ yelling at me. The regular volume was a much better choice,' Samar deadpanned. Liz simply screwed up her face in response, and took another bite of her ice cream.    
'Now that we both know,' she began thoughtfully, after a moment's pause, 'the next question is; do we tell everyone else?'  
'I was wondering that too, but... I think perhaps, we should keep it between us for a little while longer.' Samar wasn't entirely sure why she was so comfortable sharing the information with Liz when she was so guarded about sharing it with anyone else, but she and Liz had agreed to stick together and it just felt right to have something that they only shared with each other. Liz's face lit up, as she nodded in agreement.   
'You know what? I think so, too.'


	11. Choices

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Friday, April 29, 2016.

'Hey, can we talk?' Ressler asked in a low voice. He had picked a very specific moment to ask, knowing that it was going to be a difficult conversation, and not wanting to make a scene. So, he had come into the Post Office early, hoping to catch Samar quietly before too many other people arrived to overhear. Samar glanced up from her workstation, and spotted the serious expression on his face. With a short nod, she followed him into his office. Ressler leaned against his desk, seemingly unsure where to begin, and Samar instantly understood what conversation they were about to have; Ressler had made his decision... And she was about to find out what it was. 'I'm sorry this has taken so long,' he said. Samar tried to keep her expression neutral; she was painfully aware of the fact that Aram, by contrast, had taken all of a nanosecond to know he intended to stand by her, and she couldn't help but feel resentful of Ressler's delay as a result. But his tone seemed genuine so Samar stayed quiet, rather than bite back. 'This hasn't been an easy decision to make,' Ressler began, 'there was a lot to think about.' Samar nodded; that much, she understood.   
'What's the decision?' She asked, her voice not cold, but definitely clinical. She didn't want the conversation to go any longer than it absolutely had to. Ressler noted her tone, and understood what it meant. In part, he was glad; he hadn't wanted to beat around the bush either, he had simply felt obligated to, because he wasn't sure if Samar would be happy with his decision. He took a deep breath, carefully considering the wording of his next statement.  
'I don't think I should be part of the baby's life,' he stated, quite simply. Samar nodded slowly, processing that information. She felt her face grow warm in anger, but took a deep breath to try and calm herself.   
'I see...' She muttered. Ressler looked away guiltily for a second, before forcing himself to return her gaze.  
'Before you get angry, can I explain?' He wasn't going to explain straight off the bat, in case Samar didn't want to hear it, or thought he was making excuses, but considering his decision, he felt he at least owed her the explanation if she wanted it. Samar nodded her assent, prompting Ressler to continue; 'I'm not trying to abandon you. I do want to do right by you and the baby, and I just think my trying to play a part in its life would just make things more difficult for everyone, rather than easier.' Samar furrowed her brow; that wasn't the explanation she was expecting. But Ressler wasn't finished; 'Samar, you and I don't exactly get along that well, and I don't think that's ever going to change... And I don't think any kid should grow up being fought over its entire life by parents who hate each other. We both said more than enough in the heat of the moment when I first found out, for us to both know that we would struggle if we had to do this together. And I don't know about you but, I don't want that for my kid,' he paused to let that sink in, until Samar nodded again for him to keep going. 'It's going to be hard, not to be a part of it, but... I know how determined you are, and I think it's better if I just stay out of your way.'  
'I half-expected you to fight me to be a part of h-' Samar quickly covered the potential reveal, ' _its_ life.' Her tone was surprised to the point of suspicious. The other half of her had expected him to yell at her to go to hell because he wasn't interested. Either way, if Ressler wanted to stay out of it, Samar fully intended to keep the knowledge that her baby was a girl limited to herself and Liz –at least for a little while longer.   
'I was going to, at first,' Ressler admitted. 'When you first told me, I thought there was no way in hell I'd ever say what I'm saying now. But you're just as stubborn as I am, and I figured... You'd fight back just as hard.' Samar's lip twitched and she glanced down, almost amused by how true his observation was.   
'You're right, I would have. But I meant what I said then; if you say no now, you can't change your mind later.'  
'I know,' Ressler said, with a small sigh. 'And believe it or not, that's a principle I can understand.' He didn't like it one bit, but he could certainly respect it. If he was forcing the mother of his child to go it alone, then it wasn't fair for him to mess her around by constantly changing his mind.   
'You know if you had wanted to be a part of its life, I wouldn't have stopped you, right?' Samar pointed out. She agreed with Ressler that it would have been difficult for them to work together but she understood he did have certain rights, and she had expected him to fight back harder. She didn't want him just to give up for her sake –it was actually unsettling.   
'I know, but this is the choice I've made.' Samar stared back him for a second; his face was as fiercely determined as hers. She bit her lip, as a pang in her gut started nagging at her.   
'Right...' She trailed off. 'In that case, is there anything else? Or are we done now?' It was blunt, but Samar still wanted the conversation to be finished already.   
'Just one more thing,' Ressler interjected, 'I'll stick by the fact I can't change my mind now, but if there's anything you need... Make sure you ask, ok?' The pang in Samar's gut twinged again, and she gritted her teeth to try and keep her emotions at bay for however much longer she had to stand there in the office with him.  
'There won't be,' she said, probably with a little more force than necessary, 'but thank you.' She turned, hurrying out of the office as quickly as she could, and rushing to the emergency stairwell again. She perched on the bottom step, trying to catch her breath. She had never really wanted Ressler's input, so his decision should have come as a relief to her... But the sheer practicality of his approach had startled her, and so for some strange reason... She actually felt disappointed, instead of happy. Samar growled under her breath at herself for her own irrationality, but the nagging feeling of disappointment wouldn't leave. The conversation might have been far more civil than expected, but in essence Ressler had still said that she had to do everything alone, and that was what bothered her; the confirmation made it real.  

Her phone beeped, bringing her internal debate to a halt. She pulled her phone from her back pocket and read the new text from Aram.  
' _You ok? I saw your car in the basement but I don't see you anywhere in the war room. Liz says she hasn't seen you this morning either_ ,' it read. Samar smiled wistfully as she read it, reassured by the fact that they had noted her absence. She had of course, arrived in the building early but the impromptu conversation with Ressler now made her late reporting to the war room.   
' _I'll be there in a second_ ,' she tapped out in response, before hitting the send button. It didn't really answer Aram's original question because the reality was that no, she wasn't ok –but Samar wanted to keep that to herself for the moment. She and Ressler still had to work together all day, and after work she had another date with Aram. She took a breath and forced herself to smile as she stood and climbed back up the stairs, determined to focus solely on the positives.  

/*/*/*/*

Once again, Aram followed Samar up the stairs to her apartment as he always did, the usual feeling of dreading the goodbye welling up inside. Samar let out a sigh as she unlocked the door; they both knew she was conflicted, so it had become routine that Aram said goodbye at the door and Samar didn't ask him to stay. But she had lost her battle not to let her frustration at Ressler get the better of her, and after bottling it up all day, all she wanted now was comfort and not to be alone. She pushed the door open, and turned back to face Aram, awaiting the inevitable goodbye. The doubt in her mind about their relationship still lingered, and she certainly didn't want to just take advantage of his presence, _but_... Even though she knew he would, Samar definitely wasn't ready for Aram to leave just yet. She hesitated, knowing she should say good night as she usually did, but desperately not wanting to. Aram noted the pause; though Samar thought she had managed to act normal, Aram had picked up on the fact that something was bothering her throughout the day.

However, he also noted the fact that she had specifically chosen not to mention whatever that something was.

'Good night,' he said, before kissing her cheek. He took the half step back, ready to leave, but Samar didn't let go of his hand. Aram glanced in surprise at their still intertwined fingers, then quickly back to Samar. Samar bit her lip, making a split-second choice; she didn't just want him not to leave yet, she was ready for him to stay. She closed the gap between them, suddenly resting her hand on his cheek and kissing him properly. For a second Aram was stunned, but then the adrenaline kicked in and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in close and frantically kissing her back.   
'Stay?' She asked breathlessly as she finally pulled back, her arms resting along his shoulders, and Aram's still wrapped tightly around her.  
'Are you sure?' He asked cautiously. He was painfully aware of how conflicted she was, which was exactly why he had been taking things _so_ slowly; enough to let her know how much he cared, but without overstepping the boundaries of her comfort zone.   
'No,' she whispered, letting out a nervous smile, 'but it's the choice I'm making.'


	12. History

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Saturday morning, April 30, 2016.

A strange sensation made Samar wake with a jump. Still half-asleep, she squinted at the sunlight streaming in through the window and rubbed her belly, but her hand brushed against something. Her eyes went wide, now fully awake, as she remembered; Aram had stayed over the night before for the first time... And now he lay next to her, still asleep, with his arms wrapped  around her. She shifted slightly, to rest more comfortably against his shoulder... And the strange sensation made her jump again. Samar's heart rate quickened as she realised what it was, and Aram began to stir, her jump having jolted him from his slumber.   
'Mooorning,' Aram mumbled groggily. He nuzzled into the back of her neck and tightened his arms around her, one hand resting protectively over her belly. He kept dozing, until the strange sensation made his eyes snap wide open. 'Wait a minute,' he whispered. 'Is that...?'  

He couldn't finish the sentence. 

Aram was sure he knew what it was, but he trailed off mid-sentence as he realised Samar wasn't reacting the same way he was. She hadn’t said good morning back to him, and now she was shaking, her whole face drained of colour.   
'I can feel it moving,' her voice was barely audible. That confirmed Aram's suspicions; the sensation had been much the same as when he had first felt Liz's baby kicking a few weeks earlier. But that had been a happy occasion... __So why did Samar look so paralysed?  
'Samar...' He prompted cautiously, 'what's wrong?' Samar just shook her head, pushing the side of her face against the pillow as she furiously blinked away tears and tried to block the unhappy memories from her mind, but after discovering that the baby was a girl and now _this_ ; it was just too real. She knew the whole time that it was real...That she was pregnant, but it hadn't always _felt_ real. Now it was impossible to kid herself, or to push the memories from her mind any longer. Now, she was panicking. Aram pulled his arms back from around her and half sat up, turning sideways to look down at her as she rolled on to her back. He pushed the hair off her face and stroked her cheek. 'Just breathe,' he murmured, trying to soothe her with his voice. He couldn't figure out what was upsetting her, but he desperately wanted whatever it was to stop. He leaned in closer, kissing her cheek and placing his arm down across her protectively -not that he had any idea whatsoever what he was supposed to be protecting her from, simply that he needed to comfort her and didn't know what else to do. Aram held her there, whispering repeated reminders in her ear to breathe for what felt like an eternity, until her breathing began to slow. 'Samar, I can't help if I don't know what's wrong,' he pleaded with her. Samar closed her eyes, leaning the side of her head against his, and trying to calm herself, but knowing that she now had to tell Aram the whole story. She had been hoping to bury it... To forget it had ever happened, and never have to talk about it again, but the panic had gotten the better of her.  
'It just feels so real now,' she finally whispered back, 'and I don't know if I can do this again.' Aram did a double take.  
'...Again?' He suddenly dreaded where this was going. 'Samar, what are you saying exactly?' Samar took a deep breath.  
'You know there's a lot I haven't told you, right?' She asked nervously. Aram nodded; there was a lot he just assumed he would never know, simply by virtue of Samar's chosen career path. She hesitated before continuing, 'this is going to be a long story,' she said reluctantly. Aram bit his lip, noting that Samar was uncharacteristically delaying saying what was on her mind.  
'You don't have to tell me,' he began, 'not if it's going to upset you that much... But I would like to be able to help.' Samar raised a hand to rest it against Aram's cheek and sighed miserably.  
'This isn't the first time I've been pregnant,' she admitted, as a tear began to roll down her face. Aram's face contorted with confusion.  
'Levi?' He asked curiously. Samar nodded.  
'It wasn't planned... Just like this wasn't. But we were so happy... And we knew we could make it work, so we did,' Samar was struggling to figure out the best way to explain, and she paused, glancing at Aram anxiously as if she wasn't sure whether or not to continue. Aram simply nodded in encouragement, patiently waiting for her to find the words she needed.  
'Then what happened?' He prompted, after Samar didn't continue.   
'We had a boy. And then... We didn't,' the last two words were rocked by a breathless sob. Aram let out a silent gasp in devastated understanding as she continued; 'one of his lungs hadn't formed properly, but they didn't realise until after he was born and started having trouble breathing... But we were stationed in-' she quickly cut herself off and shook her head. 'No, I can't tell you that... But, the hospital wasn't equipped to look after him and we couldn't get out in time and-' she was so worked up now that everything started to roll together, and Aram had to stop her for a second so that she could breathe. '-and then, everything just fell apart,' she finished.  
'And so you left Levi?' Aram knew at least that much.  
'Not straight away. We tried to work through it but every day together after that was a reminder of what we lost. After a while, we just couldn't face each other any more. So, then I left him. I never stopped missing him but...'  
'...But you had to do it,' Aram finished the sentence for her. Samar nodded, tears now streaming freely down her face. His heart ached at the distress on her face, now understanding why the current pregnancy was so painful for her; it wasn't just the timing, or because of Ressler, but because it was a reminder of everything she had been through already. He laid down beside her again, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her in as close as he could so that her head rested against his chest, running his fingers through her hair and grasping her hand tightly as she cried.   
'Every milestone now brings back memories I've been trying to forget,' she sniffled. 'What if it happens again?' Aram took a deep breath; that thought had just crossed his mind as well.  
'Well... This time you're not stationed wherever you were stationed last time. You're _here_ , and here you have a better chance. Besides, the doctors say your baby is healthy so far this time, right?'  
'They said that _last_ time too, and back then I had Levi,' she protested. 'This time he's moved on, engaged to someone else... Then there's everything that happened with Shahin... And Liz... And Ressler made his decision yesterday that he can't be part of it,' Aram scowled at that particular revelation but chose not to interject, 'this time I'm _alone_...' She trailed off.   
'No, you're _not_. Samar, look at me,' Aram said sharply. Samar did so, lifting her head to face him. 'You're not alone, you have me. I know you keep doubting it but Samar, I'm not going _anywhere_ ,' his tone was so determined, it was almost fierce. He was infuriated by the seemingly endless stream of horrible things that had happened to the gorgeous woman in front of him who he loved so deeply. She stared back at him, slightly stunned by the level of conviction in his voice, and all remaining traces of doubt in her mind suddenly vanished -except _one_.   
'It's not yours,' she murmured, her eyes darting away. Aram's however, stayed focused intently on Samar.  
'That doesn't matter. Life is what we make of it,' he said cryptically. He pressed a kiss to her lips, first gently, then passionately. Samar kissed him back just as strongly, rolling backwards again and pulling Aram along with her until he was almost on top of her, carefully avoiding squashing her belly. He pulled back, gazing adoringly at the joyful smile that was at last, tugging at her lips. 'I love you,' he whispered, pressing another kiss to her cheek. As if on cue, Samar's hand shot straight to her belly as the baby started kicking wildly. Aram placed his hand alongside hers. 'See?' He said with a chuckle, 'little one knows what's up.' He pressed a line of light kisses along Samar's belly, making her burst out laughing. Aram looked up, waggling his eyebrows in mischievous amusement. 'Oooh... You're not __ticklish by any chance, are you?' The glee on Samar's face quickly turned to a look of absolute horror.  
'NO!'


	13. Normal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Sunday, May 15, 2016.

'Ok guys, come on. This is getting ridiculous,' complained Aram, after Liz made her second near slip-up in as many hours. Samar was having the same problem; she and Liz were both finding it more and more difficult referring to their little girls as 'its' when they now instinctively wanted to speak with the correct pronouns. Samar hadn't given it too much thought at first, but after the near-miss in Ressler's office two weeks earlier she –much like Liz- had become far more conscious of how she spoke about her baby lest she accidentally give away any clues. But that in turn made it harder rather than easier, for either of them to keep their respective secrets. The near slips, odd mid-sentence pauses, and overemphasis of the more ambiguous pronouns had been enough for Aram to very quickly cotton on to the fact that both Liz and Samar knew the genders of their babies. Of course, he didn't know the _specifics_ and although he suspected, he didn't know for sure whether Liz and Samar knew each others' secret either.  

But either way; he knew they knew, and they knew that he knew they knew. It was a regular, Seussical shell game they were insisting on playing with him, and the curiosity was _killing_ him.  

'Oh, I have to pee,' Liz said, deliberately ignoring him and very quickly rising from her seat at the breakfast table so she could rush to the bathroom, _again_. Samar had decided that after many a Saturday dinner and movie night, this week it was time for them to do something different. A Sunday breakfast had _not_ been what she meant, but after Aram had the lightbulb moment on Tuesday afternoon and Liz jumped on the bandwagon, the decision was made for her and somehow despite that, Samar was still the one that ended up hosting said breakfast. Thus, Samar now found her kitchen filled with the dishes of pancake and waffle-making misadventures – _both_ being necessary due to Liz's deep hatred of pancakes and Aram's love of them- but oddly enough, she wasn't at all as fazed by that situation as she thought she would be.  

But then again, who didn't love a delicious, cooked breakfast?

Samar let out a snort of laughter at Liz; this was the third time in an hour that Liz had declared the need to hurry off to the bathroom, and while Samar was convinced that this particular occasion was simply a sneaky way to escape Aram's poor attempt at faking annoyance until the conversation topic changed again, she still couldn't help but be amused by Liz's constant bathroom breaks. 'Don't laugh, this is going to be you in two months,' Liz grumbled. Samar simply chuckled; she was already starting to feel the pressure on her own bladder, but not anywhere to the extent of what Liz was feeling. Of course, she did know it was only going to get worse; she had experienced the sensation already. But Liz didn’t know that.  
'Yes, so you keep telling me. But for now, it's hilarious.' Liz stuck out her tongue and pulled a face.   
'Hindsight is a bitch, Samar. Remember that.'  
'Is this what I sound like when _I'm_ cranky?' Samar asked, turning to glance at Aram.  
'Yep,' Liz muttered, answering for him as she finally ran out of the room. Aram struggled to maintain a straight face.  
'You know, I think it might be safer if I don't answer that,' he said, laughing. Samar rolled her eyes and stood to start clearing the empty plates from the table before suddenly stopping again, a tiny grin tugging at her lips. 'What?' Aram asked, noting the pause.  
'Kicking again,' she murmured, not even bothering with any specific pronoun. She stood quietly for a second, reflecting on the situation, while Aram cautiously observed her reaction; this was the first time since the baby started kicking two weeks earlier, that he had seen Samar so relaxed as it happened. Her distress at the sensation had continued after the first instance -despite Aram now knowing about her first child and being there to reassure her- but it had lessened with each occasion as she became accustomed to the idea and now _at last_ , she was completely calm. What Aram didn't realise though, was that Samar had been mentally noting the frequency and intensity every time it happened, and comparing it to both her first pregnancy and Liz's as well.  

So far, her little girl seemed to be just as active in moving around and kicking as Liz's, but far more so than her little boy.

On one hand, the regular movements reassured Samar that at least with this pregnancy, all was well. But on the other hand, it reminded her of the limited movements from her first pregnancy that she had thought were normal, simply from having nothing else back then to compare it to. Every instance now, made her realise that she should have noted the lack of activity of her first child as an early sign that he was sick.  

It was bittersweet. Liz was right; hindsight _was_ a bitch.  

But, Samar was determined to focus on the positives. Her uncertainties were fading; neither Ressler, nor Aram's names were followed by question marks on the unwritten list of concerns in her mind. No longer did her plans for the future have to be in limbo due to worry about what Ressler may or may not want. No longer were they tainted by anxiety that things with Aram may not last. Now all she had to do was get through the next few months, and figure out how to make it all work with the career she refused to let go of. But so far, things seemed to be working out. She gazed at everything on the table in front of her, her face lit up by a soft smile at how ridiculously normal it felt to be enjoying a casual breakfast with people she cared about, without any worries in her mind ruining the moment. There was still a long road ahead but now more or less, she was free. She moved her hand away from her belly as the kicking finally stopped, and started picking up plates again. She nudged Aram with her elbow, as she wandered past his chair on her way back into the kitchen.   
'Hey, don't think you can make me cook you breakfast _and_ get out of helping me clean it up,' she quipped. Aram beamed as he too, stood, and picked up the last few things from the table, delighted to finally see Samar's signature self-assuredness starting to return after everything she had been through over the last few months.  
'Did you tell him?' Liz called out as she ran –well, _walked_ as fast as her now nearly eight months pregnant belly would allow- back into the room.   
'No,' Samar replied, with a touch of indignation. 'We said we weren't going to unless we told him together!'  
'So you _do_ know each others' as well!' Exclaimed Aram. 'Come on, if you can tell each other, you can tell me, surely?' Liz shook her head.  
'Nope, Samar can know because she has belly buddy privileges,' she explained.   
'Uh, for the record, I did not agree to that term,' Samar interjected quickly, 'but the principle stands.' Aram let out a sigh of mock frustration.  
'Don't I get ginger ale supplier privileges or something?' Liz looked at Samar, tilting her head quizzically.  
'Samar, is that a thing?'  
'Doesn't sound like a thing to me,' Samar said, shaking her head sagely. Aram frowned, looking back and forth between the two of them standing side by side in the kitchen, their knowing grins doing absolutely nothing to reassure him that he was safe from whatever antics they always got up to when they teamed up against him.   
'Do I at least get to know at _some_ point?'   
'Well if you think about it, _everyone_ will know at some point. It's not like we can hide it once they're born,' Samar said, smirking. That wasn't what Aram meant and they all knew it, but he was the one who chose to use ambiguous wording in his question, and there was no way Samar wasn't going to have her fun with that.   
'I mean, we could try, but... Where's the fun in that?' Liz added.   
'Ooh, I think there's a betting pool going on in the Post Office,' Samar suddenly piped up, 'maybe we should get in on that?'  
'You mean... Drop false hints here and there, mess with their heads and shake up the odds?'  
'If they're going to bet on us, we may as well bet on them.'  
'Ok, now you're just messing with me,' Aram interrupted their rapid-fire back and forth-ing, raising his voice just enough to talk over them. Samar glanced away from Liz to raise a single eyebrow at Aram.      
'Aram, I bet you fifty dollars that by the end of the week, we can have the majority of them betting we'll both have boys,' she deadpanned.  
'Only fifty? Samar, I'd bet a hundred that we could do that in two days.'  
'Fair enough, a hundred dollars it is. Aram, what do you think?' Samar and Liz turned to look expectantly at Aram, both struggling to keep straight faces.   
'Nice attempt at a topic change, guys,' he said drolly, rolling his eyes. Did they really think he was _that_ easily distracted? Besides, that was probably _the_ most unfair bet he'd ever heard. Liz let out a small sigh of mock defeat as she and Samar glanced back at each other for a second, silently confirming what they had in fact discussed two days earlier; it was time to tell him.   
'Well... I guess we can tell you,' Liz began, continuing the pretense of total resignation. Aram's lip quirked up, hopeful. 'I mean, we have talked about names extensively, so it's not like we have a _reason_ to keep it from you anymore...'  
'Is _that_ what you two get up on your girls' nights?' Aram was, for obvious reasons, banned from girls' nights. But he was also banned from knowing what happened on girls' night; not that Liz and Samar got up to anything even vaguely wild of late, simply that it was amusing to tease him by applying a 'what happens during girls' night, stays bound within the confines of girls' night' approach.   
'Oh hush, you two have your date nights as well,' Liz objected, albeit jokingly. Samar simply smirked. 'But moving on... In terms of names, I was torn for a while between naming this little munchkin after Sam, or after my mother.' Aram's face contorted in confusion. Samar held one hand up across her face and leaned slightly away from Liz, towards Aram.   
'I should probably mention, I don't think Liz gets how this 'reveal' thing is supposed to work,' she stage whispered. Liz ignored her.   
'Hey, the name 'Sam' can go either way. The name 'Katarina' _can't_ ,' Liz looked pointedly at Aram, waiting for the inevitable realisation.  
'You're having a _girl?'_   Aram's entire face lit up with joy, and he leapt forward to sweep Liz up in a bear hug, making her burst out laughing. Even Samar had to hold back a chuckle at how ridiculously excited they both looked; Aram had been hoping just as she had, that Liz's dream of having a daughter would be fulfilled. 'Wait, which name did you eventually settle on?' He asked curiously as he finally let go of Liz. She let out a wistful smile;  
'Both. She'll be Samantha Katarina,' Liz said softly. Aram grinned in approval; it was a perfect choice. He quickly looked up again, suddenly remembering that there was still another reveal to go, and shifted his gaze to Samar, who was now patiently half standing, half leaning against the kitchen counter, a small smirk crossing her face.   
'I have no such special meanings with my name choice,' she began, with a touch of amusement, 'but I like the name 'Leila'.' Aram gaped in surprise, before wordlessly reaching forward to wrap his arms around Samar as well.   
'Wow... Two girls, huh?' Aram exhaled, still processing that information as Samar finally pulled away from him. It was hard not to stare at her; Aram knew Samar had no particular preference either way for a girl or a boy, but as he gazed at her calm, comfortable demeanour, he felt an inkling of relief at the fact that there was at least, one thing about her current pregnancy that was glaringly different from the last, rather than a painful reminder. Though, as his gaze began to flicker back and forth between Samar and Liz once again, Aram instantly began seeing flashes of a future filled with little, dark pigtails and many a mad dash to replenish rapidly disappearing ice cream supplies. It was a terrifying visual, but in the best possible way. In the space of twelve weeks, they had evolved from the close friendship of the taskforce, to something resembling a strange, jumbled up, little family. And somehow, it felt normal.   
'Don't tell _anyone_ ,' Samar muttered darkly, interrupting Aram’s train of thought.   
'-Especially Ressler,' added Liz. Aram shook his head vehemently, he knew it was privileged information. Then, a proverbial lightbulb went off.  
'Hey Liz,' he began slowly, 'would you call her Sammy?' Liz nodded, wondering why on earth Aram would ask that, before noting the sudden exchange of a delighted grin and an eye roll between him and Samar respectively, and realising the accidental third person her little girl would share a name with.   
'Oh Samar, I didn't even think of that...' She trailed off, now anxious that Samar may object to sharing her old Mossad nickname. But Samar simply smiled.   
'It's fine, I'll bet we spell it differently anyway,' she said, waving a dismissive hand through the air. Her old team had always spelled it 'Sami', and besides, practically nobody called her that anymore. But her comment did little to ease the concern from Liz's face. Samar tilted her head and let out a gentle chuckle, 'Liz, relax. I'm honoured.' Liz had been there for Samar every step of the way, so there was no way Samar was going to hold something as ridiculous as an accidental nickname overlap against her. _Plus_... Samar thought about it for a second... If Samantha ended up anything like her mother, Samar knew she would be proud to share the name. Liz let out a breath of relief; the more she thought about it, the more she too, liked the idea of her daughter sharing the name with her badass friend as well. She and Samar exchanged awkward, embarrassed grins –the sentimentality was getting just _slightly_ too much for Samar- and Aram couldn't help but laugh. He took the tea towel from Samar as she handed it to him, presumably as a silent instruction to dry all the dishes she was about to wash, and stood back quietly listening and watching what was essentially his girlfriend, and their collective best friend, laugh and joke happily between themselves about cravings and hormones.  

 _Yep, definitely normal_.


	14. Standards

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Wednesday, May 18, 2016.

A tap on her shoulder made Samar jump, but not look up from her workstation.  
'Aram, we are _not_ putting up purple curtains in the second bedroom. Stop trying to convince me,' she muttered in response. They had been helping Liz decorate Samantha's nursery over the weekend and naturally, that kick started the brainstorming for how Samar would end up decorating Leila's. She had agreed with them that kids' bedrooms were supposed to be bright, colourful and happy-looking, but that was as far as Samar had managed to go before Liz and Aram became more and more unbearably over-excited. Liz had suggested purple as a colour theme and Aram, being the fan of purple that he was, had instantly agreed. Samar had immediately objected; she preferred green. _And,_ purple still seemed too girly, even though it wasn't pink. But Liz had argued that _technically_ , purple was what the result would be if one mixed blue and pink together and thus, it was the _perfect_ way to buck the stereotypes. The look on Aram's face had said everything Samar had needed to know that he saw the flaws in that logic as well as she did, but he was also pro purple. So, he kept his mouth shut. Then, Liz had decided that she and Aram were taking Samar shopping at some point. _Together_.

And Samar was stumped for an argument.

So of course, every so often throughout the three days since, both Liz and Aram made the odd joke while in the Post Office, about all the purple things they could pick... Which was why Samar wasn't even bothering to look up anymore when someone tapped her on the shoulder. The person behind her cleared their throat loudly.  
'Uh, wrong person,' came Ressler's voice, making Samar's head whip around suddenly in surprise.  
'Oh,' she said, 'sorry, I thought you were in your office.'  
'I noticed.' He paused, curiously filing away what she had said about Aram and the purple curtains -and everything her phrasing implied- in the back of his mind. 'But uh, I was wondering if I could have a word? In my office?' Samar frowned in confusion. _Now_ what did he want?  
'Ok...' She stood from her chair and followed Ressler into his office. He closed the door behind her, then quickly picked up a sealed envelope off his desk and handed it to her. 'What's this?' She asked suspiciously.  
'Official Bureau notice that you're no longer permitted in the field,' Ressler replied flatly. Samar raised her eyebrows. She had voluntarily given up field duty over a month earlier; despite how much she _loathed_ being restricted to the office, there was no way she was leaving it until she was already six months along before she had to face that reality. She wasn't going to risk her little girl's life in the same way she was prepared to risk her own, and _then_ there was the fact that her growing belly threw off her balance more and more each week, which was a danger all of its own not just for her, but for any other agents that went into the field with her as well.

Liz, having ignored Ressler's earlier complaints about her, had made the same choice, at the same point in her own pregnancy.

Samar opened the envelope, pulled out the pages and quickly read the first few lines. Sure enough, there was the Bureau seal emblazoned in the corner, and the words 'excluded' and 'field' in the same sentence. The very first sentence, to boot. Samar shot Ressler a look of reproach.  
'Why is this necessary?' Her voice came out a little more harsh than necessary. She was starting to have trouble sleeping, and her hormones were having a particularly wild day, so she was both tired _and_ grouchy. Not to mention, she was very quickly becoming very tired of hearing about the colour purple. Not that Ressler knew what was going on in her head, but he _had_ picked a poor moment to bring up what would inevitably be the last straw.  
'I'm your Officer in Charge. I'm supposed to inform you, when you hit the six month mark. Not everyone opts out early.'  
'You didn't give Liz one of these,' she said coolly.  
'She's not an agent anymore. She doesn't fall under official Bureau policy for this. The decision to stop leaving the Post Office for the field is up to her discretion.'  
'That's a load of crap, Ressler,' she snapped. 'Titles aside, nobody treats her any differently here.'  
'I still have no official control over whether she goes into the field or not past the six month mark,' Ressler shot back, the volume level of the room now decisively above normal.  
'You could still _unofficially_ recommend that she stay in the office.'  
'I don't need to, she's been doing that for months.'  
'Exactly. I've been out of the field for weeks already too, you know you don't need to make a whole show of telling me.' Ressler threw his hands in the air in sheer exasperation.  
'Excuse me for wanting to make sure my kid isn't hit by a stray bullet!' He protested. Samar's eyes snapped to his, her teeth gritted together as she let the room suddenly fall deathly quiet.  
' _Your_ kid?' She was so furious that her voice came out eerily low and calm. Ressler rolled his eyes; _was she ever going to stop picking on him for such ridiculous slips of the tongue?_  
' _Our_ kid, then,' he corrected himself, his tone dripping with disdain.  
'It's _my_ kid, Ressler. You said 'no'. Or did you forget?' Her hands rolled into tight fists by her sides. _She_ certainly hadn't forgotten. Samar had no complaints whatsoever about Ressler not being a part of it all; as far as she was concerned, it gave her freedom. But she wasn't interested at all in the way he still seemed to be insisting on messing her around -especially when she was only just starting to really get things back on track. 'You can't keep clinging to double standards just because you know you played a part in the process.'  
'Fine. Your kid.' Ressler hadn't forgotten either. He hadn't opted out simply because he wasn't interested, he'd made that choice to try and avoid arguments like this one. But it wasn't working. He had already lost one child when he lost Audrey, so now that he had specifically made the decision to stay out of Samar's way and was forced to stick with it, he was finding it more and more of a challenge to let go of the idea that her child was his too -or at least, subconsciously anyway. It was hard to watch from a distance, knowing what was happening, but also knowing he had made the decision he did. Of course, legally speaking, Samar's rule that he couldn't change his mind didn't stand at all. If he changed his mind and Samar objected, Ressler could easily take the issue to court and probably win, too. But even Ressler didn't want it to have to go that far. Samar was standing by a principle that was fair enough. She had given him an unlimited amount of time to make his decision, and had left him to make it on his own, uncoerced. He was the one who chose not to fight, and though Ressler found it hard to watch Liz and Aram seem to dote on Samar's unborn child so freely he, in another odd parallel with her, was prepared to accept the responsibility for his actions.

However, that didn't mean it was easy.

Ressler hadn't yet figured out where the line was between the interest he could take as a co-worker, and the interest he couldn't take as the person who chose to stay away. But now he was far too irritated to have that conversation rationally.  
'Are you seriously having a go at me for trying to keep you both safe?' He argued. Samar let out a frustrated sigh. It wasn't the interest she objected to, it was the inconsistency and the double standards with which he applied it.  
' _If_ you take it further than whatever you do for Liz, yes. Otherwise, no.' _Was it clear yet?_ Ressler let out a sigh of his own.  
'Fine,' he relented. 'Go do... Whatever. Knock yourself out.' Samar eyed him warily as Ressler turned, walked around to the other side of his desk, and slumped in his chair. She seriously doubted the message had gotten through. _But..._ If that meant she could get out of his damn office, _finally_...

Without a word, she pushed the door open and strode back out into the war room.

Aram, now apparently back at his desk, looked up in surprise as he saw Samar march in a huff from Ressler's office back to her desk, and collapse into her chair, anxiously but absent-mindedly rubbing her belly. His gut filled with dread as he noted the thunderous look on her face. Liz, who was of late, sitting in a spare chair by Samar's desk rather than hiding away in her own office, was also in an unpleasantly hormone-affected mood, and had been muttering to herself crankily on and off at least since Aram returned to his own desk from the copy room and found her there and Samar absent. Aram had been too scared to ask, without Samar around as backup -especially when Cooper trailed through the war room and quietly ordered him in passing to 'do something. _Anything_ , to cheer her up.' But, with Samar apparently equally unhappy, and Aram completely oblivious as to _why_ exactly, he was running low on ideas.

_Although..._

With Reddington's insistence that he only dealt with the taskforce via Liz, their case load had waned significantly as her pregnancy progressed; and now that she was in the later stages, it was almost non-existent. That in turn, meant nobody had to sacrifice the full lunch breaks owed to them. _And seeing as both Liz and Samar seemed to share the ice cream craving..._ Aram stood from his desk and casually wandered the few feet over to Samar's; she and Liz were now _both_ muttering expletives under their breath.  
'So, umm... I'm going to get lunch. Can I get you guys anything?' He asked cautiously. Neither of them responded, although the expletives did stop as they seemingly awaited a follow-up question. 'Ice cream, maybe?' Aram tentatively added. Within seconds, Liz was standing, her bag slipped over her shoulder in a single, fluid motion as she grabbed it from under her chair while moving. She glanced at Samar, silently but expectantly, and Aram glanced back and forth nervously between the pair of them. After a minute or two of consideration Samar too, picked up her bag and stood from her desk -albeit much slower than Liz.  
'Fine,' she huffed, and the three of them began walking side by side towards the elevator, 'but I get to pick my own damn ice cream this time!'


	15. Conversations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Saturday-Sunday, June 4-5, 2016.

Samar growled under her breath in frustration as she twisted and rolled over for what had to be the fiftieth time that night... Or perhaps the hundredth... Aram had lost count. He opened one eye and looked at the neon green numbers on the alarm clock; 3:36am. Samar hadn't slept; no matter which way she positioned herself, she couldn't get comfortable. Her belly was big enough now that it just kept getting in the way.

And because she couldn’t lie still, Aram couldn't sleep either.

'Is there _nothing_ I can do to make you more comfortable?' _Please let there be something_. Aram was all for being supportive, but he was _so_ tired; this was the third night in a row that she was having this problem. Or at least, it was the third night in a row that _he_ was having this problem. It wasn't as if they spent the night in the same apartment _every_ night just yet, and Aram knew Samar had been having trouble sleeping on and off for at least two weeks now. But, this was the first time he had witnessed it multiple nights in a row. Samar grimaced apologetically; there was _one_ thing that had helped when she was with Levi. But things with Aram were so new, and while in some regards they were moving slow, in others they were moving fast -since their first night together, they certainly hadn't wasted any time establishing a routine. Add that to how tired and annoyed Aram was, Samar wasn't sure if he would do it. Milestones weren't necessarily being ticked off in the usual order.

It really wasn't the _traditional_ style of relationship progression.

'Uhh...' Aram turned his head on the pillow to look back in her direction through the darkness, instantly hearing the hesitation in her voice and knowing what it meant; he was going to have to ask.  
'I hate to ask this, but what did you do last time?' Samar cringed; it was blunt, but she knew what he meant. There was no other way to put it, really.  
'You might not be comfortable...' She warned him.  
'I'll try anything, at this point,' he sighed. He hated the fact he sounded so short with her, but he _so_ badly needed to sleep. Samar reached out to give his shoulder a little push.  
'Lie on your back, and put your arm out,' she instructed. Aram did so. He observed skeptically as Samar shifted across the bed, closing the gap between them, but didn't say anything. Clearly, she knew what she was doing. She turned on her side, fitting Aram's arm under herself, and tucked her head against his shoulder, before sliding her top leg over so it wrapped around his. Aram raised one eyebrow in amusement and Samar exhaled in relief as she settled into place; it was almost like she was spooning him sideways, but her belly fit against his side _perfectly_ , while her leg raised around his supported the weight. Aram squirmed ever so slightly, just to adjust his arm so it was more comfortable, and then paused suddenly.  
'Is that it?' Aram asked quizzically.  
'Mmhmmm,' Samar sighed contentedly against his shoulder, closing her eyes again. _That was so much better._  
'I thought you said it was going to be uncomfortable...' He mused, 'but it's not so bad.' Samar furrowed her brow. _Huh_. Levi had always hated being her human pillow. But she was too tired to wonder about that.  
'Bonus points for you, then,' she mumbled. 'Can we sleep now?'  
' _Definitely_.' He tipped his head sideways so it leaned against her, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead as he closed his eyes.

/*/*/*/*

Aram let out a yawn as he finally woke up. Careful not to make any other movements lest he wake Samar, he turned his head to look back at the alarm clock; 9:16am. His eyebrows flew upwards in surprise; he hadn't thought they would sleep in so late. _But then again, considering how tired they had been_... Thankfully, once Samar had wrapped herself around him, neither of them had woken up again at all during the rest of the night.

He glanced back at Samar, dotting another kiss to the top of her head; she was still sleeping soundly, and whatever she was dreaming about had a tiny, peaceful smile spread across her face. Aram let out a grin of his own; he could happily lay there for a while longer, just to let her sleep. He closed his eyes, ready to doze off again, when an odd sensation against his side made his eyes snap straight back open.

 _Leila_.

She was kicking, and with Samar wrapped so tightly around his side, Aram could feel every movement. He let out a small chuckle as he turned his gaze to Samar's belly pressed against him, and quickly brought his other arm around to rest it there.  
'Hey,' he said softly. Leila kicked against him again, 'well, good morning to you, too.' Leila's kicking came to an end as Aram trailed off. He paused, staring at Samar's belly for a moment as a thought occurred to him. Quickly glancing at Samar to make sure she was still asleep, he leaned a little further sideways and let out a cheeky grin as he faced her belly again. 'Just so you know, your Mama's kind of crazy... But that's ok. She's also pretty amazing. You're a lucky little thing.' Leila's kicking started up again as Aram kept talking to her. 'Huh, so you _can_ hear me.' He hadn't been sure if that was true, but apparently it was. Aram stopped talking for a minute just to see if Leila stopped kicking. For the most part, she did. 'You kick pretty hard, by the way,' he observed thoughtfully, earning himself another wallop. 'Like your Mama, but she has to kick down doors.' Aram chuckled at his own ridiculousness.  
'You know she's only responding to the sound of your voice, right? She does it to Liz as well. She doesn't actually understand what you're saying,' Samar murmured against his shoulder, her eyes still closed. Aram froze. Well, _obviously_ he knew Leila didn't actually understand him, it was just fun to talk to her anyway. _But then again_...  
'Uhh... How long have you been awake?' _Better question; how much of that conversation had she heard?_ Samar opened her eyes, shifting her head off of Aram's shoulder and shooting him a smirk.  
'From about the time you called me crazy. I'm hoping there was some less than insulting context for that statement, that I missed beforehand, by the way.'  
'I thought it was rude to eavesdrop on other people's conversations,' he mused.  
'You should have thought of that before you made her repeatedly kick me,' she deadpanned. 'Besides, is it really a conversation if you were the only one talking?'  
'It's a conversation if we we're both communicating,'  
'It's not communication unless you understand one another,' she shot back in amusement, before pausing and shaking her head. 'Wait, why are we debating this?' Of course, when it came to Aram, Samar always found herself drawn into absurd conversations.  
'Because you're crazy,' he teased. Samar rolled her eyes.  
' _You're_ the one having a whole conversation with an unborn child.'  
'So you agree it was a conversation, then?' Aram struggled not to laugh at the exasperation on Samar's face as she let out a tiny groan. 'Don't groan at me, you're the one that kept me awake for three nights.'  
' _Me?!_ That wasn't me, that was your new friend, here!' Samar gestured at her belly, simultaneously giving both it and Aram, the evil eye.  
'You can't blame the baby!' Aram protested, 'you said it yourself, she has no idea what's happening.'  
'Oh, so you agree it _wasn't_ a conversation, then?' _Checkmate_. Aram screwed up his face in mock annoyance. Samar had him walk right into that one.  
'Very clever.' He let out a sigh of mock defeat.  
'I thought so,' Samar chirped, still smirking at him. With a teasing laugh, she kissed his cheek before rolling sideways onto her back. Now free to move, Aram let out a yawn and stretched his legs, amazed to suddenly regain sensation in his lower extremities after being squashed for half the night. A small frown crossed his face as he turned on his side to face her again, realising that if this was the only way Samar could sleep, he still had another three months to go of waking up in the same fashion. _Though_ , now he thought about it, a little more than four months had already passed since all the madness began.

Time was flying by them.

Aram had no doubt that there was still further madness yet to come, but as he reached forward to sweep the wild mess of dark curls off Samar's face and grinned at her flirtatious smile, he had a funny feeling that whatever the madness may be, it wouldn't faze him. He ran his hand slowly from her cheek, all the way down her side until it came to rest against her belly once again.  
'Should I try and make breakfast?' He asked. Aram knew all too well that Samar didn't trust him in the kitchen. He would inevitably burn something, mix up the measuring cups, or just mess things up so badly that she couldn't even figure out what it was he got wrong in the first place. But that didn't stop him from trying; he was too entertained by the idea that one day... One day, he would be able to make breakfast without her having to come to his -or its- rescue. It was just a question of _when_.  
'Are you going to let me have coffee?' Samar, meanwhile was feeling too caffeine deprived to care. Once she had made the mistake of telling Aram that the doctor recommended no more than one cup of coffee per day, he had been trying to convince her to replace her usual coffee ingestion with tea. Normally it wasn't an issue; Samar already drank tea nearly every day anyway. But she did need at least one cup of coffee every morning, and _that_ was where it became a problem.  
'You can have _one_ ,' he relented. Samar raised her eyes to the ceiling; _thank goodness for that._ Aram shuffled down the bed and pressed a quick kiss to her belly. 'We'll finish this conversation later, when Mama's not listening,' he stage whispered. 'Some day I'll tell you about the time she wanted to punch a guy in a coffee shop just for nearly walking into you.' Samar rolled her eyes and shook her head in exasperation.  
'Are you done?' She asked flatly, but once again the look on her face said everything Aram needed to know. She was never going to admit to him how ridiculously amusing she thought his antics were, or how relieved she was that he had taken everything so completely in his stride, despite the seemingly endless array of disasters... Or how sweet she thought it was that he was chattering so happily with her little girl. Samar found it too difficult to express anything that sentimental on even a semi-regular basis. But that didn't mean she didn't feel it, and Aram knew that. He didn't care how much she made fun of him; he could tell the difference between what was her genuine annoyance, and what was her just having fun with him -and _that_ was the important thing.  
'Never,' he whispered, shooting her a wink. Samar raised a single eyebrow as Aram scrambled out of bed and dashed out of the room to the kitchen, before casting a contemplative glance downwards.  
'You know what? I think we're stuck with him now,' she observed, resting her hand on her belly as she felt Leila start to kick again, 'thanks for that.'


	16. Complicated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Tuesday, June 14, 2016.

The sound of the sharp edge to Samar's voice inside the break room made Liz pull her hand away from the door. She had been in a seemingly good mood when she and Aram wandered over there all of ten minutes earlier. Samar had even tapped Liz on the shoulder on the way past, gesturing for her to join them. Liz, who had been busily sorting out her last few rounds of paperwork seeing as she was about to finally go on unofficial maternity leave, had at the time said that she would be right behind them –she just needed to finished off a few more pages of her report.  

That report was now finally finished, which was why Liz found herself reaching for the break room door handle.  

But the difference in Samar's voice stopped Liz in her tracks. It wasn't angry, it was more... _Stressed?_ Liz stood behind the door, unsure whether to go inside and interrupt whatever they were discussing, but curious about the sudden change in Samar's mood. From the fraction of context Liz had managed to grasp, Aram had asked a question about something baby-related that Samar either hadn't thought of or had forgotten and in response, she had started to stress. What it was exactly, Liz didn't know. She had only heard the tail end of the question.   
'Hey,' Aram's voice appeared to be trying to soothe her, 'this isn't last time. Leila's going to be just fine.' _Last time?_ Liz's eyes went wide. _If that meant what she thought it meant..._ Liz didn't really think it was a conversation she should be standing around listening to; it was far too personal. But she was so startled by the seeming implication of what Aram had just said... She was frozen to the spot. The voices inside the break room went quiet, limited to gentle murmuring so low that Liz couldn't make out the words.

She glanced nervously around the war room. Conversations that personal in the break room were never a good idea; it was all too easy for someone to walk in. That was one of many reasons Samar, Aram and Liz tended to avoid them. But, clearly whatever it was had come up unexpectedly, and although the Post Office was running on significantly lower numbers at the moment due to the reduced case load, the risk still remained –and Liz wasn't sure whether to walk in, walk away, or simply guard the door.  

None of them seemed like particularly great options.  

Her heart skipped a beat as she saw Ressler quickly approaching. _Of all the possible people to walk over_... Liz grinned widely and walked forwards to both greet him and keep him away from the door.   
'Oh Ressler, there you are,' Liz began, hoping her own voice would be loud enough to prompt Samar and Aram to quickly wrap up whatever moment they were having inside the break room, 'I was just looking for you. I have this report that needs your signature-'  
'-Can it wait five minutes?' He asked, chuckling at the urgency in her voice. They barely had anything to do, nothing had to be that urgent. He pushed past her and reached for the door, 'I just had a two hour long meeting with Cooper and some pain in the ass from the DA's office, I need coffee.' Ressler swung open the door, Liz cringing right behind him, and froze just as Liz had done five minutes earlier. 'What the _hell?_ ' Aram had moved to take advantage of the apparent privacy and quickly kiss Samar on the cheek as he took the empty cup of tea from her hands so he could put it in the sink with his own –Just as Ressler and Liz walked in. He looked up and did a double take in horror, and Samar quickly pushed him away, as they both saw Ressler standing there. Liz grimaced apologetically at Samar over Ressler's shoulder, cursing herself for having not just knocked on the door earlier; they could have sprang apart before Ressler entered the room, and then he wouldn't have seen anything. Ressler just stood there, staring at them incredulously, awaiting a response from one, or _any_ of them. Odd things that Samar, Aram and even Liz, had said over the past few months _had_ made him start to occasionally wonder –Ressler quickly flashed back to Samar's usage of the word 'we' a few weeks earlier when she made her comment about curtains- but it wasn't often enough to make him genuinely suspicious, and he certainly hadn't had any kind of confirmation.

 _Until now_.

Ressler wasn't entirely sure how he felt about the realisation that Samar and Aram were in fact, seeing each other. How comfortable Aram seemed to be with Samar's pregnancy was one thing Ressler could deal with... But if they were a couple, that meant Aram would inevitably play some kind of part in Samar's child's life.

In _his_ child's life.  

His child's life, that _he_ wouldn't be part of. That was a difficult concept for Ressler to confront. That said, Samar's words about double standards four weeks earlier still rang in his ears. _She can see whoever she wants. It's her life, you can't stop her_... He quickly told himself, over and over again. Co-worker issues aside, Ressler wouldn't have cared who Samar was seeing if it wasn't for the simple fact that he knew the child she was carrying was his –and he was painfully aware of that. As embittered as Ressler was about the whole scenario, he desperately wished that he could just let it go, for everyone's sake. But it was just... So... Difficult. The awkward silence in the room went on long enough that Ressler's internal debate came to an end on its own, bringing his attention back to the two people in front of him. Aram shifted awkwardly on his feet, his eyes darting back and forth everywhere every few seconds, unsure where to look. Samar's issues with Ressler were exactly that; _her_ issues –and Aram didn't think it was his place to get involved, or fight her battles for her. She wouldn't want that. But on the other hand, any issue that involved his and Samar's relationship was definitely _his_ issue as well. Long story short, Aram's mind was also embroiled in a complicated internal debate; to speak up, or to leave it to Samar to say whatever _she_ wanted to say. Samar, meanwhile, was waiting for Ressler's initial moment of shock to subside so that she could get a better handle on exactly how he felt and what he thought; there was no point in jumping to a conclusion and automatically going on either the offensive _or_ the defensive if she didn't really know what she was up against –or if she was even up against anything at all.   
'Uhh Liz,' Ressler said quickly, whipping around on the spot suddenly to face her. It was probably better if he just left the room; there really wasn't anything anyone could say and even if there was, none of them wanted to have that conversation right now. If Samar and Aram were a pair, that was their business. It didn't concern him at all –or so he tried to keep telling himself. 'Is the report that needs signing, on your desk?' Liz nodded wordlessly, and Ressler pushed past her again to practically run from the room; 'right, I'll go do that now.'

'I'm so sorry, I tried to stop him!' Liz burst out, after Ressler had left the room.   
'Don't worry, I guess he was bound to find out eventually,' Samar said, letting out a sigh. She wasn't going to kid herself; there was no way they would be able to hide it forever, but she _had_ hoped that when Ressler found out, it would go a little differently. And it wasn't Liz's fault. Samar knew that to a certain degree, the fact that she and Aram had been having a personal conversation in the middle of the break room made it their own fault. But she had been startled by Aram's question and of course, he had immediately sought to comfort her. 'Though, is listening in on everyone else's conversations the only way anyone finds out anything around here?' Liz forced an awkward grin, knowing that Samar was trying to ease the air by making light of the situation, but the snippet of conversation that she herself had overheard earlier still played in the back of her mind. Aram too, laughed awkwardly, remembering that was exactly how _he_ had found out Samar was pregnant.   
'I should probably go back out there too,' he observed. Samar nodded in agreement; Aram had been asked by Cooper to 'tidy up' the taskforce mainframe, so unlike the rest of them, he actually did have some work to do. With a nervous, but reassuring smile, he squeezed her hand before shuffling across the room, past Liz, and out the door.   
'I thought the complicated part was over, but apparently it's just beginning,' Samar lamented, as Liz crossed the break room to sit across from her at the small table by the counter. Liz studied the tired look on Samar's face, curious and desperate to know more about the 'last time' that had her friend so unusually stressed, so very quickly. It was almost impossible to think of a casual way to ask something that serious, and really... The more Liz thought about it, the more she thought that asking might not be such a good idea. Whatever the issue, it seemed to be something Samar was struggling with, and Liz didn't want to upset her further. It was probably better to leave it up to Samar to share the information whenever –or _if_ ever- she was ready.

But if it was what Liz thought it was... It certainly explained a few of those moments over the last few months where Samar had gone quiet or suddenly changed the subject.

With that in mind, Liz decided to focus on the _other_ elephant in the room instead.  

'Plus side,' she mused, earning herself a raised eyebrow from Samar. _There was a plus side?_ 'Ressler didn't completely lose it. That's a good thing, right?' Samar's lip twitched. That was certainly one way to consider the situation.   
'That's true. And we haven't had any more arguments in a few weeks either.' The last argument they'd had was the one about double standards, and since then they had finally managed to deal with things with significantly less frustration. Figuring out what exactly Ressler should or shouldn't be doing was a line so blurred that it was almost impossible to follow, even for Ressler himself. As such, since that last argument, Samar had given up worrying about it -the stress just wasn't worth the time and energy. So long as Ressler didn't actively seek to make things more difficult for her, Samar was now content to overlook the finer details of Ressler's continued internal conflict. It was a relief really, because they had argued about so many things, and Samar was tired of it. The fewer arguments they had to have with one another, the better –for both of them. 'But now that he knows about Aram, it'll probably become awkward again.' Samar sincerely hoped that wouldn't be the case but she accepted now, how hard it was for Ressler to let go, and knowing about Aram would make that so much more difficult. That was unfortunate timing, because the thing that Aram had pointed out earlier –the very same thing that had made Samar stress- was that when the doctor asked about her family medical history for Leila's sake, she probably needed to know Ressler's as well.  

And Samar didn't know. They had never had that discussion.  

For a brief moment it had made her worry again about the possibility that Leila could be sick, but once she had calmed down she was glad that Aram had pointed it out. It was important knowledge to have, but now it meant she had to talk to Ressler about it... Right after he had found out about Aram. Samar wasn't particularly looking forward to that conversation.

But that's not what she and Liz were talking about.  

'On the other hand,' she added, with a touch of amusement for Liz's benefit, 'Aram has taken everything so in stride, sometimes I have to wonder if he's actually forgotten that Leila isn't his.' It was so messy, it was almost ridiculous. Liz shrugged her shoulders, smirking.   
'I could argue that she's no less his at this point than she is Ressler's,' she said nonchalantly. 'It doesn't make me think any less of my father, but Sam is the one who raised me. He's the one I remember... And he didn't adopt me until I was four. If I can have both, why can’t Leila? One doesn’t have to replace the other.' A small smile crossed Samar's face; she might have been about to enter her third trimester now, but it was still far too soon to be thinking about Aram in that sense so conclusively. Perhaps later on they could have that discussion, but not just yet. Though, it was reassuring to hear Liz make the case she did –especially when she had her own issues to worry about.   
'What about Sammy? And Tom? You still haven’t heard from him?' Liz frowned, and let out a small sigh. Tom had dropped off the radar a few months earlier, and though she had been trying to find him, Liz hadn't been able to get into contact with him at all.   
'Still nothing,' she said quietly, 'wherever he's gone, I don't think he's coming back.' Samar shot her a sympathetic look; this wasn't at all what Liz had hoped for when she dreamed of a family. 'I'm thinking about leaving that section on the birth certificate blank,' she finally sighed. Samar glanced at her in surprise.   
'Can you do that?' The rules were different everywhere, but if Samar could do that... It would make things _so_ much easier; she and Ressler would be able to avoid so much parental-consent related red tape in any and all future decisions regarding Leila. It was hard enough for him to let go as it was, and considering the agreement Samar expected him to stick to, it wasn't fair to keep dredging up uneasy feelings by having to chase him up for signatures every so often.   
‘I’m pretty sure you can, but it’s something I’m going to look into just to be sure. I mean, I know I’m probably leaving it a bit late, but…’ Indeed, Liz was just about to enter her final month, so if there were any other issues she needed to sort out, she certainly didn’t have much time left. She shot Samar a weary smile, glad at least that they were still sticking together after all the madness they had both been through; 'it's all just so complicated.'


	17. Roar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Saturday, July 2, 2016.

'Dinosaurs, really?' Samar grumbled. Now that Liz was on leave and free of taskforce-related commitments, she had finally found a time where all three of them could go shopping together, to help Samar pick out the various things she needed for Leila's room. But, the 'help' wasn't all that helpful. Aram's idea of pointing out the perfect curtains for the room was bouncing on the balls of his feet in glee when he found a set of bright purple curtains with tiny, green dinosaurs printed all over them. And to top it off, the dinosaurs in question seemed to be dancing, or doing cartwheels... Or some other kind of weird movement that Samar was pretty sure dinosaurs weren't supposed to do. The point was, they weren't the curtains she had hoped Aram or Liz would pick out.  

Though really, what _had_ she been hoping for after all their joking over the last six weeks?

'Would you prefer flowers?' Liz piped up.  
'Or butterflies?' Aram added quickly.   
'Or fairies?'  
'Or princesses?'  
'Or rainbows?'  
'Or unicorn-'  
'- _This_ is why I would have preferred to keep you two separated,' Samar growled, hurriedly cutting off their rapid-fire back and forth-ing before it spiraled any further out of control.  
'The dinosaurs are green. You said you wanted green. It's a great compromise,' Liz observed sagely, struggling to keep from laughing.   
'And dinosaurs aren't girly. You said you didn't like stereotypes-'  
'- _Guys_. I _will_ separate you if I have to,' Samar cut Aram off again, simultaneously shooting both of them a weary glare.   
'I'd love to see you try,' Liz chuckled. At this point in her pregnancy, there was no way Samar could physically restrain them both at the same time, nor was it a smart idea to try. It was an empty threat, and Liz knew it –much to Samar's annoyance.   
'Me too,' Aram said, nodding in amusement.   
'Is there something with...' Samar paused, looking around at all the different, and obnoxiously patterned fabrics on the display of kids curtains. '...I don't know. Zoo animals?' _Surely_ there had to something a little more tasteful than beaming dinosaurs doing gymnastics.   
'I saw some pink and white curtains with giraffes and elephants back there,' Liz suggested, gesturing with her thumb at another display of curtains a few feet behind them, and still not being helpful. Pink was the very first thing that had gone on the veto list. Samar let out an impatient sigh.   
'You're going to make me pick the dinosaurs aren't you?'   
'If she's any kind of fierce like you, dinosaurs would be appropriate,' Aram teased, the cheeky grin on his face still stretched from ear to ear.   
'Nice try,' Samar shot him an unimpressed smirk, 'bears could do the same thing. Or tigers, or _lions_ even.'  
'I don't think they make kids' curtains with scary-looking animals, it kind of defeats the purpose,' Aram shot back.   
'Fine, I'll pick the damn dinosaurs,' relented Samar out of sheer exasperation. To be fair, they were far from being the _most_ hideous curtains in the shop. She had already accepted the idea that purple and green was probably going to end up being the colour theme in the room, and the emerald dinosaurs weren't huge or stamped all over the fabric to the point where they garishly overtook the violet background. They were tiny, and lightly scattered. Samar would have preferred something abstract and swirly, or perhaps a geometric pattern, instead of the absurd cartoonish characters, but even she had to admit that the dinosaurs would probably be far more appealing to a child –even if that child wasn't born yet, let alone old enough to actually comprehend the existence of the curtains in the first place. At least if she bought the dinosaur curtains now, she wouldn't have to repeat the shopping experience in a couple of years down the track, and really... The dinosaurs weren't _so_ bad. They certainly weren't the multi-coloured clown face curtains that had made her do a horrified double take as she entered the shop. Behind her back, Liz and Aram shared a sneaky high five as Samar finally picked up the pack of dinosaur curtains off the display shelf and dumped them unceremoniously in her basket, pretending to ignore the antics of her two shopping companions. 'But, can you _not_ torture me like this for every decision, please?' Aram and Liz glanced at each other sheepishly, silently agreeing that by now they'd probably had enough fun being deliberately unhelpful for one day. Samar certainly looked frazzled enough for one shopping trip, and they still had a few more things to find before it was over. Samar took the silence and the amused but guilty expressions on their faces to mean that yes, they were _finally_ going to behave themselves, and with a roll of her eyes and shake of her head, she turned and continued along her path through the shop.  

/*/*/*/*

Samar stepped back into the doorway of Leila's room to view the final result in its entirety. She had picked out the basic furniture nearly a week earlier, and it had been delivered the day before –just after she and Aram arrived home from the Post Office that afternoon. But although the matching, white painted wood crib, chair, and change table that doubled as a small chest of drawers, were beautifully simple and elegant, they had seemed a little uninspired and boring when Samar first saw them assembled in the empty room with the plain white walls.  

It was almost depressing.  

Though now that the rest of the décor had been picked out, brought home and spread out across the room, things looked much better. Liz and Aram had of course, returned with her, and the three of them had spent the afternoon putting everything together –much as they all had done for Samantha's room at Liz's apartment so many weekends earlier. The tiny mattress in the crib was now enveloped in solid, pastel green baby sheets, with a light purple blanket neatly folded up at the end. The far wall was adorned with a sweeping willow tree wall sticker with green and purple leaves that seemingly wrapped around the crib placed right beside it and of course, the dinosaur curtains took pride of place hung up against the window. A soft smile lit up Samar's face as she took it all in; it was simple and tasteful, but still bright and baby-friendly. In fact, it wasn't entirely dissimilar to Samantha's room, aside from the different colours –and the lack of dinosaurs. Liz had opted for light birch wood furniture, with a pink and yellow theme so that the room would seem, quote; 'sweet and sunshine-y,' end quote. She had also chosen a pink and white cherry blossom wall sticker, which was where the idea came from for Leila's willow tree when they had all agreed towards the end of the shopping trip that there was still one thing missing from the room.  

Aram and Liz stood either side of Samar, each gazing approvingly at the space, until Aram suddenly nudged Samar with his elbow and did his best attempt at a mock-frown.

'You know,' he started slowly, 'I think there's _still_ something missing.' Samar and Liz both turned their heads to look at him in confusion, and Aram quickly ducked out of the room, down the hallway and around the corner into the living room, before hurriedly dashing all the way back -now hiding something from view behind his back. He stopped in front of them in the doorway, grinning perhaps not quite like a kid at Christmas, but at least like Samar with a bowl of chocolate ice cream, before bringing the mysterious something out from behind his back and handing it to Samar. 'Baby's first stuffed animal!' He announced gleefully. It was a mauve and white giraffe, and Samar turned it over in her hands to look at it –lip twitching slightly- before taking the few steps across the room towards the crib and gently placing the giraffe atop the folded up blanket. She turned it slightly, so the giraffe appeared to be sitting back and looking out at the window, before she glanced back at Aram.  
'How's that?' She asked, touches of both amusement and skepticism in her voice. Aram nodded eagerly.  
' _Much_ better.'  
'Aram, you beat me to it!' Liz exclaimed in mock disappointment, as Samar returned to her earlier position standing between them, once again. Samar had been the first to present her with a stuffed animal for Samantha's room –a little pink elephant that proudly sat front and centre in the now crowd of stuffed toys in the crib- and Liz had been hoping to do much the same for Samar. It was only a small gesture, but after everything they had both been through in the last few months, and the way they had insisted so fiercely on sticking together, it felt odd not to be able to reciprocate it.  

However, if anyone had to beat her to it, Liz was happy that it was Aram.  

'Sorry,' Aram said, bowing his head sheepishly –albeit still with a grin. 'I saw it at the mall the other day, and I just couldn't resist.'  
'I'm _sure_ I'll survive,' Liz teased, before turning back to Samar. 'I'll just get the second one. Right, Samar?'  
'If you think about it, the second one is more important,' Samar said, with a wry smile. 'We can't have the poor, little giraffe over there getting lonely, can we?' Liz shook her head thoughtfully.  
'Oh no,' she conceded, 'that's true.' The three of them fell quiet for a moment, and Samar contemplated why, yet again, she had found herself drawn into such an absurd conversation -until another thought suddenly occurred to her.  
'Wait, Aram... You bought that giraffe a few _days_ ago? Where did you hide it in the meantime?'  
'In one of the little drawers under the coffee table in the living room,' he said, matter-of-factly. 'You know, the ones you never use.' Samar just stared at him, her lip quirked up a little in amused surprise. _Huh. That was actually pretty clever._ She paused for a moment, wondering when exactly it was that Aram had become so comfortable in her apartment –and knowledgeable about its quirks- that he had his own hiding places to stash presents... She had given him a spare key at one point, just in case of emergencies, but other than that there was no single moment to pinpoint. As the months had passed, he had simply spent more and more time there, until he was essentially living there with her. They had never actually talked about it, or actively sought to make a point of moving in together officially, but with Samar struggling to sleep during the rare nights he wasn't there, Aram had –without even thinking about it- wound up being there almost every night. He still had his own apartment _but_ , the more Samar thought about it, _these days he barely went back there unless it was to pick up something specific_. He had no reason to, really –most of his things had slowly drifted along into her apartment just as Aram himself had. Samar certainly couldn't recall having spent a night without him any time in the last week or so. It seemed to be yet another of those things that had just happened to accidentally become routine. With a tiny grin, Samar shook the idea from her head, making a mental note to perhaps address it later instead. For the moment, there were other matters to attend to. She pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, before shooting him a mischievous wink.   
'Well, thank you. But for future reference, zoo animals don't belong in drawers. They need air to breathe,' Samar deadpanned. Liz roared with laughter at the unexpected remark, so much so that she clutched her belly and Samar had to reach for her arm and guide her to the chair in the corner of the room before she fell over. Aram raised his eyes to the ceiling, and let out a sigh of mock exasperation; the days where he was able to outdo Samar, or predict the next insane thing to come out of her mouth, were definitely over.   
'I just can't win, can I?' He huffed, though the poorly suppressed grin gave away the genuine amusement. Samar let out a chuckle of her own; if she was going to keep finding herself in these ridiculous conversations, she may as well have her fun with them. She forced herself to pull the most serious expression she could muster before firing her final retort;  
'Nope! Be sure to free any other animals you may have stashed away around here, and let them into the more spacious pen over there,' she gestured with her thumb to the crib across the room, 'or I'll tell Ressler to arrest you for animal endangerment.'


	18. Confidence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Saturday-Sunday, July 16-17, 2016.

Samar's pained grumbling in his ear, and her white knuckles clutching at his hand, made Aram wake suddenly. Though still sleeping wrapped around him, as she had almost every night in the month and a half since discovering he made the perfect human pillow, Samar was curled up even tighter than usual against his side, clinging to him desperately in her sleep. She was also shaking, her dark hair was plastered to her cheeks with sweat, and an expression of sheer distress was etched across her face. Aram brought his free arm around to gently shake her shoulder, and Samar gasped as she woke with a jump.    
'Argh!' She yelled, thrashing around wildly beside him. Aram flinched as she accidentally kicked him, before reaching for her hand again and holding on tightly, a look of anxious concern crossing his face.  
'Samar, ssshhhh...' He tried to calm her, 'you're ok, it's just a dream.' He waited for her to stop thrashing, then wrapped his arms tightly around her, pulling her in close as he continued to murmur any and everything he could think of to try and soothe her. She looked around frantically, her still-half-asleep state confused by their surroundings. They were at Liz's apartment, sleeping on the folded out couch in her living room. Liz was only a day or two short of her due date now and Samar and Aram, not wanting Liz to be alone when the time inevitably came, had taken over the living room. Realistically, Liz only needed one of them there, but Aram was the one who would have to drive her to the hospital, and Samar insisted vehemently that seeing as she and Liz were supposed to be sticking together, if Aram got to go to the hospital, then she did too –especially seeing as she had planned to be there anyway.  

And so, there they both were, now on their third night sleeping on Liz's couch.  

Samar blinked a few times as she tried to wake up properly and make sense of where she was, before finally shaking her head in frustration and leaning it against Aram's chest. Aram rubbed gentle circles against her back, still gently murmuring to her. He was conscious of the fact that Liz's room was only just down the hall and he didn't want to wake her, so he had to somehow calm Samar down and reassure her that whatever had her so upset was just a dream, all at the lowest possible volume –which for him, wasn't too difficult. But Samar's breathing still hadn't settled, and Aram doubted that she could both panic and consciously control her own volume at the same time. He felt her face grow warm against his chest as the tears started rolling one by one down her face, eventually splashing onto him as well, and his heart began to ache at how distressed she was. He pushed the damp hair off her face and pressed a light kiss to her forehead as her breathing finally began to slow. 'Ssshhhh....' He repeated, a few times more, 'you're ok.' Samar anxiously rubbed her belly, and the movement caught Aram's eye. 'You're dreaming about Leila?' He asked quietly. Samar nodded against his chest.  
'And the last time too... What if it happens again?' She glanced up at him fearfully, unable to get the images out of her head, of her first baby fighting for life and eventually losing the battle, 'what if going through with all this was the wrong decision?' Aram flinched again; neither of those 'what if's were easy to answer the first time she had asked and even now, he still didn't know how to reassure her for sure. It was the one aspect of her confidence that she still had yet to recover after everything else that had happened. She did however, usually manage to handle it, but now that Liz was due, Samar was starting to panic again.   
'Leila's going to be just fine... We know she's healthy, the doctors told you that,' Aram tried to reassure her. She'd had every scan and test under the sun, and not a single one had come back with a worrying result. 'And there's no single decision that's right or wrong. Everyone has to choose what’s right for them, whatever that may be.' Samar bit her lip, annoyed at herself for worrying about 'what if's when she normally preferred to be so much more practical, but she was stuck in a waiting game; no matter what the doctors told her, after the last time, Samar was nervous to believe so confidently that Leila was healthy until she was born and Samar could see for herself. She shuffled over, closing the slight remaining gap between them and nestling against Aram's side once again. He rested his hand beside hers on her belly, just as Leila started to move again. 'See?' Aram pointed out, 'she knows you're stressing, and she's ok.' Samar's lip twitched ever so slightly.   
'She doesn't know that,' Samar objected. Aram winked, and gave her another quick kiss.   
'Maybe. The idea made you smile, though,' he paused for a moment, as an idea suddenly popped into mind; 'tell me about him.' Samar furrowed her brow.  
'What?'  
'Tell me about your first baby. Not the sad parts, but the things that made you smile.' Samar's eyes drifted away, staring absent-mindedly at nothing in particular as she reflected, and realised what Aram was doing; he was trying to alleviate her fears, not by telling her that the present wouldn't repeat the past, but by ensuring she remembered the good just as much as the bad. A breath caught in Samar's throat as she forced herself to think about that time –one of the many periods of her life that she considered so awful, she had tried to push away the memories all together. But perhaps, if she allowed herself to remember the good, then the bad memories wouldn't be quite so scarring.   
'He was beautiful...' Samar began slowly, before trailing off again. A soft smile crossed her face as she paused to reflect again, and Aram waited silently, now running his fingers through her hair and hoping, just hoping, that she could find something positive in her memory to help her tunnel through the darkness. 'He looked so much like Levi, but,' she let out a small, quiet chuckle, 'Levi said he had my nose because it was too cute to be like his.' Aram let out a small chuckle of his own... _That was sweet_. 'He was so tiny when I held him. We knew we didn't have much time, so we just tried to keep him happy, and comfortable...' Samar took a sharp breath before continuing, 'and I know babies that young can't really react that way, but... I swear when I held him, I saw him smile at least once.' Another tear fell loose from her eye and splashed against Aram's skin, and he pulled her in just a fraction closer again.  
'What was his name?' Aram asked gently, realising that in all the time that had passed, Samar had never once referred to her first child by name, or even as her son. In an effort to distance herself from the memory, she had typically just referred instead to 'the last time'. Samar froze, her shoulders instantly tensing  
'No... I can't,' she whispered, the stress rising in her voice again. Aram frowned in concern. Silence fell between them as Samar internally debated with herself and desperately fought the urge to let it get the better of her, while Aram frantically tried to think of something else to say. He was stunned by the sudden change in her reaction and once again, was at a loss for how to comfort her if he didn't know what was wrong. So instead, he just held her tight. He wasn't going to push her too reveal what she didn't want to, he had just wanted to try and make her feel better... But that seemed to have suddenly backfired.  

And then she finally took a breath.  

'It was so long ago now, before all of this happened and I knew the truth...' She started again, her voice barely audible, 'we named him Shahin.' Aram closed his eyes as he winced and his stomach did a backflip, instantly regretting having asked and worrying that he had just made everything a hundred times worse. 'Aram, I named him after a terrorist that tried to kill me, and Levi too,' Samar nearly choked on those last few words, and Aram bit his lip anxiously.  
'No,' he murmured, 'you named him after the brother you loved and lost. You said it yourself to Reddington; your brother died in Pishin. The man that tried to kill you wasn't Shahin, he was Hasaan.' Samar's gaze drifted over to the tattoo on her inner arm; the stylised falcon that she'd had done years ago to remember her brother. Aram's gaze followed hers; 'and this,' he said, running his hand softly down her arm and gesturing at the tattoo, 'doesn't have to represent him either. Let it represent _little_ Shahin now. It doesn't have to be there for your brother if you don't want it to be, it can be there for Leila's.' Samar's eyes snapped suddenly back to Aram, suddenly welling up with tears yet again. She had deliberately chosen not to name Leila after anyone else in particular, just in case. She didn't want to be blindsided again like she was with Shahin, but at least Aram had a point. Samar frustratedly tried to brush the tears away, but Aram took her hand and stopped her. 'Let them fall... You need to grieve properly,' he said softly. She sighed, internally chastising herself for not being able to let it go and move forward like she did with everything else. And of all places to let herself be vulnerable, she hated that it had to be while they were in the middle of Liz's living room, having to be quiet. All she wanted to do was yell or scream her frustrations from a rooftop in the middle of nowhere but in a way, Aram was right once again; she did need to grieve properly. In a certain way, she never really had. After little Shahin had passed, Samar had tried to push past it -throwing herself into her work with an even greater intensity than usual, in the hunt for Hasaan and then eventually, Reddington- without ever really facing, or admitting to herself what had happened. It hadn’t presented that much of an issue in the time since, there were very few occasions where she was confronted with reminders that fought her urge to forget… Until now. These days, the reminders came at every waking minute and even apparently, many of her minutes spent sleeping as well. She had started to deal with them, especially since the morning that Leila first began to kick, but Samar still hadn’t really mourned the loss of her first child. But now, Samar only had eight weeks left until Leila was due, and she was bracing for Liz to go into labour any day now too. Having any more nightmares in the midst of all that, and not being able to deal with them properly, really wouldn't help. _Though,_ she kept staring at the look on Aram's face –that concerned, but sweet and non-judgemental expression he always bore when she was upset- _at least she knew that he was there... That he would help her through anything._ Her breathing began to slow, and the tears finally stopped falling again. By now, Aram had a small puddle of them running off his shoulder, but he didn't seem to mind. He just laid there quietly next to her, holding her close as she gradually calmed herself. Samar curled into his side, wrapping her leg around his as usual so that she could be comfortable, and Aram nuzzled into her hair, kissing the top of her head.    
'Do you want to try to sleep again now?' Samar nodded against his shoulder, and tiredly closed her eyes again. Now content that Samar was calm enough to rest, Aram closed his eyes as well.  
'Thank you,' Samar whispered. Aram let out a soft smile, and gently squeezed her hand.  
'Everything's going to be ok.' 

/*/*/*/* 

Samar eventually woke again, to the daylight streaming through the crack in the curtains on the window. She was still curled into Aram's side, leg wrapped around him, and he was still asleep. Her lip quirked up as she nestled her head against his shoulder, enjoying the warmth of being in his arms, and remembering their conversation during the night. After going back to sleep she had continued to dream of Leila and Shahin, but it hadn't been upsetting. She had dreamt of Shahin's tiny fingers wrapped around hers, and of Leila eventually doing the same.  

Clearly, Aram's prompting her to try and remember the small handful of happier moments had an effect.  

Samar closed her eyes again, cautious but content to just rest there. No sounds came from down the hall, so presumably that meant Liz was still asleep too. The entire apartment was peaceful, and quiet except for the sound of a bird chirping somewhere outside in the street and the occasional car driving past. Eventually she began to doze again, and was only vaguely aware when Aram began to stir. Somewhere in the back of Samar's mind, it registered that Aram shifted slightly and kissed her cheek, and that Leila was also moving again. With her eyes still closed, and her brain still fuzzy, Samar muttered something unintelligible under her breath and squashed her face against his shoulder, but otherwise didn't respond.   
'Good morning,' Samar heard Aram murmur, as his hand came to rest against her belly. She wasn't sure whether he was speaking to her or to Leila, but neither option was exactly uncommon. Since the morning of his first conversation with her little girl, Aram regularly chattered away to her in the mornings, whether Samar was awake or not. He also tended to chatter away to Samar, but at the moment he seemed to think she was still asleep, and though she wasn't completely awake yet, Samar figured that must mean Aram was talking to Leila again. A soft smile lit up her face as she laid there quietly, and without moving. It was always interesting to listen to his musings whenever he thought she was asleep. Aram let out a small, but content sigh as he thought about what to say, completely oblivious to the fact that Samar was smiling, and listening to him. He was feeling pensive this morning, after Samar's nightmare and the subsequent conversation during the night, so he wasn't feeling particularly chatty... But he did want to say _something_. 'You stay strong in there, ok?' He eventually settled on, 'your Mama's the strongest person I know.' Samar struggled not to catch a breath in her throat; she hadn't expected him to say something like _that_. Aram paused for a moment before looking thoughtfully at her belly and continuing; 'but I can't wait for you to show her just how strong you are too... And healthy, and beautiful... And perfect. Just like her.' Samar's eyes began to sting as they welled up, but she kept them firmly shut. _Why did she think it was a good idea to listen and pretend she was asleep?_ Now she was stuck. Aram's confidence in her was overwhelming, especially after all the doubts she'd had about him. 'But for now, you just hang in there... Ok?' Aram trailed off, before going quiet again. A rogue tear finally slipped away from Samar's eye and splashed against Aram's shoulder, making him suddenly glance back at her in surprise. Samar slowly opened her eyes, her face already so close to his, and desperately tried to blink away the remaining tears, while shooting him a tiny, watery smile.   
'Hey,' she whispered uneasily, unsure how Aram would feel about her having heard his comments. But instead, he just brushed the hair off her face and tucked it behind her ear, and shot her a cheeky grin.   
'Hey back,’ he chuckled, once the surprise began to wear off. ‘You stay strong, too. Don't let the exhaustion and those pesky hormones get the better of your tear ducts, now.' Samar let out a relieved laugh, amazed by how Aram didn’t even seem to miss a beat, and rested her hand on his cheek -nudging forward just ever so slightly to kiss him.   
‘I love you,’ she murmured, a blissful hum lingering in her voice as she finally pulled back again. Samar suddenly froze, realising what she had just said. She had said it as if it were the most normal thing but in fact, though Aram had said it already, Samar never had. It wasn’t so much that she was avoiding it, simply that in her few seconds of hesitation, the moments to say it before had kept slipping away from her. But in this case, she had finally just let it slip out instead… Without even thinking about it. Aram’s cheeky grin widened into a delighted beam, overjoyed to finally hear her say it out loud. He knew how she felt, despite how much she worried he didn’t because she struggled to place those three little words -and so he had waited patiently until she was ready, knowing that at some point she would undoubtedly surprise herself more than she did him. He tipped his head back towards her, kissing her back to ease the awkwardness he knew she was feeling, before pulling away and shooting her a wink.  
‘I know.’


	19. Arrivals - Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Wednesday, July 27, 2016.

'I vote we get the triple chocolate,' declared Samar, crossing her arms and glaring intently at the doors to the ice cream filled freezers. It was an emergency trip to the convenience store around the corner from Liz's apartment, to quickly replenish the depleted ice cream supply before she went completely crazy. Now nearly the maximum ten days allowed overdue, Liz had been told by her doctor that if she didn't go into labour by Thursday, she would have to be induced. But it was now Wednesday afternoon and still, nothing was happening. Liz was frustrated by the delay, and anxious for things to get moving, so when she had opened her freezer and realised that she was out of ice cream as well, Aram and Samar had decided a rescue mission was in order before she actually burst into tears. Aram could have gone alone and left Samar with Liz, and in fact it probably would have been wiser if he had; they were still bracing for Liz to hopefully go into labour naturally any minute, and in her current state it probably wasn't the best idea to leave her alone. But inconveniently, the fact that Liz was still waiting meant that Samar and Aram were still camped out in her living room. It wasn't a great situation; Samar was well past the point where she could be comfortable sleeping on a fold out couch for longer than a couple of days, but Aram was nervous about leaving either of them alone, and Samar objected to the idea of not being there for Liz, as well. So they had reached a compromise; after the first few days at Liz's had passed uneventfully, Aram had stayed every night, but Samar went home every second or third night, and Aram shuttled her back and forth as needed. Samar of course, argued that at home she slept just as badly than she would on Liz's couch, simply because she couldn't find a comfortable position when sleeping by herself, but Aram was adamant; she couldn't keep sleeping on the couch, because not only was it uncomfortable, but it probably wasn't great for her back either –and even Samar had to admit, he had a valid point there. There was no single, perfect solution. When they had first decided to camp out in the living room, none of them had expected Liz to go so far overdue... It had been a reasonable idea at first, but now both tensions and hormone levels were running high which was why, despite the impracticality of the decision, Samar had opted to go on the ice cream mission with Aram; so she and Liz could both have some much needed space.   
'Liz likes mint chocolate chip,' Aram replied flatly, also staring in annoyance at the selection. They had been having this debate for the last ten minutes, probably because they were all stressed and so while they understood one another's frustrations, nobody felt like being particularly rational.  

And they all had different favourite flavours that, in times of great stress, they desperately wanted.

'Do we have to choose just one?' Samar sighed. Aram shook himself from his staring at the condensation covered glass doors, and turned to look at her in surprise.   
'No...' He trailed off for a moment as he thought about it, 'I guess we could get a couple. That would probably make more sense, actually... Then we wouldn't have to come back as often.' He shot Samar a small grin as she too, stopped glaring at the ice cream and glanced back at him. Aram put his arm around her, resting his hand on her hip as Samar tilted her head sideways to lean against his shoulder.   
'Why didn't we think of that five minutes ago?' Aram let out a chuckle and kissed the top of her head, just as Samar's phone began to ring.  
'Because we're all tired, and not thinking straight,' he commented wearily. Samar dug her phone out from her pocket, and glanced at the caller ID.   
'Oh... It's Liz,' she observed, holding up the phone for Aram to see Liz's name flashing on the screen. Samar gestured to the ice cream, then her phone; 'you get those, and I'll get this?' Aram nodded, and Samar wandered down the aisle away from him as she answered the call. Aram reached to open the door to the freezer, pulling out pints of both triple chocolate and mint chocolate chip, and placing them in his basket. He furrowed his brow as he looked back and forth between his basket and the freezer, before quickly reaching to open the door again and pulling out a pint of cookie dough ice cream for himself, and adding that to the basket as well. With a quick, subconscious glance over his shoulder to check that Samar was still only a few feet away, Aram headed towards the counter to pay for the contents of his basket.  

'Oh, what a pretty wife you have,' a voice crackled behind Aram as he passed the cashier a handful of cash. He glanced over his shoulder once again to note the presence of an elderly lady behind him, barely taller than his elbows –who apparently still wasn't finished making her own observations; 'aren't you a lucky, young man.' _Young?_ Aram furrowed his brow, unsure what to respond to first; if the wild, almost completely white hair was any indication, Aram was certainly young by the little, old lady's standards, but he certainly wasn't accustomed to having people refer to him as 'a young man' these days. He wasn't exactly in his early twenties anymore. The old lady gestured to where Samar was standing, still talking quietly into her phone, over the other side of the store –finally bringing Aram to his senses.  
'O-oh no, she's not... I mean, we're not-' he stammered, reaching wildly for the plastic bag that now contained his three pints of ice cream, as the cashier handed it –and his change- to him.   
'-No?' The old lady raised a curious eyebrow, before finally shrugging and letting out a grin. 'Ah well, young couples these days, I guess. So long as you love each other, that's the important thing –and you two seem very sweet together. How far along is she?' Aram shoved the few coins worth of change into his jeans pocket, as he took another cursory look across the store and noted Samar hanging up the phone and smirking at his state of apparently being ambushed.  
'Uh, nearly thirty-four weeks now,' Aram's gaze shifted back and forth between the grinning little, old lady, and Samar walking up behind her.  
'Ahh, not long left at all!' The old lady exclaimed happily. Aram nodded in response, as Samar reappeared by his side.  
'Hey, all good?' He asked curiously. Samar simply shot him a look –the kind of twisted, pursed smile with slightly raised eyebrows look she always gave him when she was excited, but impatient. Aram took that to mean something -though he didn't know what- was happening.  
'Mmhmm,' she hummed. Aram turned back to the old lady, who was now smiling wildly at Samar tucked against his side, and gave her a polite nod.   
'Uhh, well... It was lovely to meet you, enjoy the rest of your afternoon,' he said, shifting awkwardly on his feet. It seemed odd, seeing as they hadn't even really introduced themselves to one another, but what else was he supposed to say to a total stranger who had randomly started talking to him in a convenience store cashier queue?   
'You too, my dear,' the lady simply chirped. 'Good luck, I'm sure you'll be wonderful parents!'  
'Oh... Uh, well-' Aram began, but Samar cut him off.   
'-Thank you,' she said, smiling warmly at the older lady, 'have a lovely afternoon!' Samar tugged Aram's hand, prompting him to move quickly out of the store. She didn't have time to stand around correcting the presumptions of strangers –nor was it really necessary in this case. Plus, the elderly woman had seemed nice enough; it was probably better just to leave her to her delusions anyway, rather than scandalise her with tales of their workplace antics. 'Come on, Aram. Things are happening,' she muttered, as they approached the door. Aram's head whipped around wildly, and his eyes went wide. _Did that mean what he thought it meant?_  
'Wait... As in-'   
'-Yep,' Samar interjected. Liz's contractions had started, _finally_. She tugged on Aram's hand again, pulling him along, 'let's move.'

/*/*/*/*

Aram paced back and forth at the end of Liz's hospital room, alternating between anxiously wringing his hands from not having a clue what to do, and trying to cheer Liz on with overly enthusiastic words of both encouragement and sympathy –neither of which, seemed to be particularly helpful. After returning to Liz's apartment from the convenience store, and cautiously reminding her that she was still in too early a stage of labour to go to the hospital _immediately_ , Aram and Samar had dug the ice cream out of the shopping bag in an effort to calm not only Liz, but themselves as well. In hindsight, Aram was glad that they had opted to buy multiple pints of ice cream –one definitely wouldn't have been enough for all three of them stressing. But as the evening wore on, and Liz's contractions slowly came closer together, they had bundled themselves –and Liz's pre-packed bag- into Aram's car, and finally headed off to the hospital.

And now, there Aram was; waiting anxiously while Liz yelled intermittently, and Samar held her hand.  

That wasn't to say he was being completely useless; in fact, any time either of them had given him any kind of instruction –such as when he was promptly ordered to dig through Liz's bag and find a hair tie because she was annoyed at her hair sticking to the beads of sweat running down her face- Aram had managed to do as he was told quite effectively. But other than that, he was feeling way out of his depth. Samar meanwhile, was rapidly losing sensation in her hand from Liz holding on so tightly, but she was ignoring that in favour of trying to help Liz control her breathing.   
'I hate Tom!' Liz burst out suddenly. Samar simply grimaced in response; though Liz didn't know about it, Samar had called in a few favours from her Mossad and other various intelligence agency contacts around the globe, and asked them to put out feelers in an effort to try and track Tom down. It bothered her that Liz had been left in the dark, and Reddington had stalled every one of her attempts to find Tom herself. Whether Liz wanted Tom in her baby's life or not at this point, she did need closure, and Samar had hoped to give her that much. However, her contacts had only been able to track Tom so far, and every other lead after that had more or less indicated what Liz already suspected; that the likelihood of Tom ever resurfacing was extremely slim. That said, as much as Liz was screaming her hatred for Tom at the moment, right now still probably wasn't the best time to mention that he was in fact, gone. Samar knew that deep down, Liz's emotional connection to Tom was still fraught as she both faced the reality of the present and clung to memories of the past, so the current yelling was just her venting through the pain –just as she too, had done once and probably would do again.   
'I know, I know...' Samar kept her voice calm to try and soothe Liz, 'Tom's an ass, and I hate him too.' Or at least, she certainly wasn't going to dispute anything that came out of Liz's mouth at this point. Liz took a breath and shot Samar a weak, but appreciative smile, until yet another contraction made her yell out again; 'why do we even bother with men!?'  
'Hey!' Aram retorted instinctively. Samar shot him a warning look, and Aram instantly realised –and regretted- what he had just done. He glanced back at Liz; her eyes wide and her wild gaze boring into his skull with the intensity of laser beams. Aram flinched, bracing for another ear-splitting yell.  
'Get... Out!' She bellowed. Aram looked nervously back and forth between Liz and Samar, but decided that it was definitely safer not to argue.   
'Sorry,' he mumbled, bowing his head sheepishly, and shuffling towards the door to leave the room. Samar shot him a sympathetic look as he walked out the door, knowing that he hadn't meant to interject and that Liz would probably forget about it within just a couple of minutes as her labour continued to progress, but also knowing better than to argue. Outside in the hallway, Aram resumed his pacing. The waiting area with rows of plastic seating filled with other helpless, restless seeming relatives and friends was only a few doors down, but Aram was hesitant to wait even those extra couple of feet away. Liz needed someone in the room with her and though, now Aram thought about it, he _really_ didn't think he wanted to have to see the process once Liz was given the all clear to push –and in fact, he didn't think Liz would necessarily want him to see that either- she didn't exactly have that many options. And Samar, as much as she loathed being told, or having to admit, that she couldn't do something, could only stand on her feet on the same spot by Liz's bedside for so long, in her own heavily pregnant state. Aram had a feeling that, even if it was something that none of them were entirely comfortable with, there was a distinct chance that he would be called back into the room... And if _that_ happened, he _really_ didn't want Samar to have to come wandering down the hall looking for him.  

That would not help ease the already tense situation... _At all_.  

Aram stopped pacing and leaned back against the wall, as the yelling within appeared to temporarily subside once again. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, remembering that both Cooper and Ressler had asked to be notified when Liz's baby was on its way and amidst all the chaos, he had forgotten to message either of them. _It shouldn't be long now... They had been there a while already. Surely, Liz should be allowed to push soon_...  

/*/*/*/*

The door of Liz's room opening slowly jolted Aram's mind from its anxious wanderings for the umpteenth time. So many people had been and gone from Liz's room, making him jump at the possibility of news, that one would think he would have given up expecting the next creak of the hinges to mean that baby Sammy had arrived. However, Aram hadn't given up hope; he had resigned himself to the idea of potentially waiting, and leaning against the wall, for an infinite amount of time, yes –to the point that he had begun to lose sensation in his feet from having stood on the same spot for hours on end without moving- but he hadn't given up hope.  

He also hadn't ended up being asked back into the room, but if what he could hear through the wall was any indication, he was actually kind of ok with that.

For a moment there, Aram had contemplated knocking on the door, and poking his head through to see if it was safe to go back in, or if Liz or Samar needed anything, but he had ultimately decided against it. That said, he was also still too nervous to leave the hallway –just in case. And thus, he found himself still standing there, in the very same spot where he had placed himself when Liz first kicked him out of the room... Wondering non-stop what was happening inside the room, and desperately wanting to know that everything was ok.   
'Hey,' Samar's voice came quietly from the doorway, 'have you been standing out here the whole time?' Aram nearly fell over as he jumped away from the wall and looked expectantly at Samar.  
'Yeah, what's happening? Is Liz ok? Is Sammy ok? What's going on in there? I heard a cry a while back but then it just got really quiet and-' All Aram's questions ran into one another as he struggled to get them all out as fast as he could. Samar held up her hand, letting out a tired but amused grin as she gestured for him to stop and actually draw breath.  
'Everything's fine,' she reassured him, 'you can come back in now.' Aram just stared at her, so simultaneously worried and excited that he was frozen to the spot.  
'Did you stand there the whole time too?' He finally blurted out. Samar lowered her gaze in defeat for a second, before glancing back at him and shaking her head.  
'I eventually had to pull up a chair,' she admitted reluctantly. 'It was a whole strategically organised operation though, Liz wouldn't let go of my hand, so one of the nurses had to help... I think she might have crushed half my fingers, too.' Aram just looked at her, his eyes wide with alarm, and Samar let out a chuckle, 'no, I'm kidding. But I might end up with a bruise.' She took a step back so that Aram could follow her through the doorway into the room. He let out a tiny gasp as he poked his head around the curtain; Liz looked exhausted, but so very happy... And in her arms, finally, was the tiny bundle of blankets that Aram could barely see past.  
'Hi again,' she greeted him, smiling at him warmly until her face suddenly crumpled, 'sorry for screaming at you earlier...' Aram just grinned, not at all worried about her earlier yelling, as he suddenly rushed across the room and stopped just short of her, suddenly realising that he couldn't just bundle her up into a bear hug when she had a baby in her arms. So he settled for continuing to grin wordlessly, as he gazed down at the little face peeking through the blankets.  
'Oh Liz... She's just beautiful.' In fact, she looked just like Liz, but with a little tuft of light blonde hair sticking out through the top of the blankets. Liz grinned back at him, her eyes welling up at how happy she was.   
'Do you want to hold her for a minute?' She asked gently. Aram's eyes went wide, looking hurriedly back and forth between Samar and Liz in excitement. Samar rolled her eyes in amusement as she sat back down in one of the chairs by Liz's bedside; she had no idea how Aram had the energy to practically bounce on the balls of his feet after being awake just as long as she had, but it was sweet nonetheless.  
'Ohhh, can I?' He asked eagerly. Liz nodded, gently placing the bundle of blanket-wrapped baby in his arms. Aram slowly sat down in the remaining spare chair –the one between Samar's, and Liz's bedside- as Liz continued to hover cautiously from the side, and Samar leaned over from her own side to keep an eye on things just as warily. But, they didn't have to worry; Aram cradled Sammy in his arms as if it was something that came to him completely naturally. 'Have you held her yet?' Aram asked, glancing quickly at Samar.   
'Yep,' she paused and rolled her eyes good-naturedly at Liz before shifting her gaze back to Aram, 'I had belly buddy privileges.' Liz burst out in a silent fit of laughter.   
'I knew I could make you say that at some point! You owe me twenty bucks!' She exclaimed breathlessly between laughs. Aram looked back and forth between Liz and Samar once again, and let out a tiny sigh as he struggled not to laugh at their ridiculous antics, but as he looked down at the tiny bundle in his arms it was impossible not to let his heart jump with joy.  
'Welcome to my crazy world, little Samantha Katarina.'


	20. Bittersweet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Thursday, July 28, 2016.

'Good morning,' Samar quipped happily, poking her head around Liz's hospital room door.  
'Hey!' Liz let out a sleepy smile, as Samar wandered into the room and slowly lowered herself into the chair beside her friend. 'Did you get much sleep?'   
'Some,' Samar said, shrugging. By the time Samantha had been sufficiently cuddled by everyone, and the medical staff had finished up all their necessary checks and observations, it was nearly two in the morning. Needless to say, by that point all Liz wanted to do was sleep, and Samar and Aram had felt much the same, so they had left her to it and gone home, with the promise that they would be back in the morning –or at least, later in the morning. 'You?'  
'A little. Where's Aram?' Liz looked around curiously, as if she half-expected Aram to suddenly jump out and appear from somewhere behind Samar.   
'Apparently Cooper received an order from somewhere up the chain of command to have the Post Office mainframe properly upgraded, so he called Aram in...' Samar paused, letting out a grimace; 'at seven this morning. With you out of action for a while, the rest of the task force is shut down so... What better time to upgrade everything than when nobody else is around using it and getting in the way? He's not happy about not being able to visit this morning, but hopefully he can stop by later instead.' That phone call was what had woken them both up, when they had anticipated sleeping in much longer. But once she was awake, and Aram had madly scrambled out of bed, Samar had figured the likelihood of her getting any more sleep was slim, and so she had reluctantly clambered out of bed herself... And Aram had dropped her off at the hospital to see Liz, on his way to the Post Office.   
'Well, at least I have you to entertain me while I'm stuck here,' Liz said, suddenly grinning. Samar let out a chuckle.  
'Is Sammy not company enough?'  
'So far all she's done is sleep, cry, eat, and poop... But mostly sleep. It's thrilling stuff.'  
'When do you get to go home?'  
'This afternoon, hopefully. Tomorrow morning, otherwise.' Liz sincerely hoped for the former, rather than the latter. Samantha had been declared completely healthy, so besides the usual few hours of observation, there was no reason for her and Liz to stay in the hospital. Plus, she too, had been rudely awoken at an early hour instead of being allowed to sleep in –by the nurses doing their morning rounds- and so with that, combined with the boredom of sitting around and waiting to be discharged, Liz was desperate to go home. Her gaze briefly shifted over to where Samantha was sleeping peacefully in the hospital crib on the other side of her bed, as it had frequently in the few hours since she was born. Liz's motherly instinct had well and truly kicked in, and half the time she wasn't even aware that her gaze had subconsciously turned to check that her daughter was still there, until she caught herself smiling, overjoyed, at the fact that Sammy had finally arrived. She quickly turned back to Samar, eyes twinkling and lip quirked up; 'do you want to cuddle her for a while?'   
'Sure,' Samar nodded eagerly, and stood as Liz –equally eager to have an excuse to get out of bed and walk around the room- picked up Sammy from the crib and gently placed her in Samar's arms.  

Samar slowly sat back down again, carefully cradling Sammy. The very top of the blanket she was wrapped in slipped back, revealing further the tufts of blonde hair that they had all noticed the night before; she really did look like Liz, or rather –Katarina, considering the blonde hair and the fact that Liz supposedly looked so much like her own mother. A pang of melancholy rocked Samar's gut as she stared down at the tiny, sleeping baby that she was holding onto so tightly; instantly flashing back to the handful of times she had been able to briefly hold little Shahin before he could fight the battle to breathe no longer. The second that the doctors had warned her that he was unlikely to survive the first night, Samar had begun to watch the clock; counting and cherishing each and every hour they had with him. Levi had exhausted every possible resource they had in an effort to try and get them all out in time to somewhere, anywhere, on earth where Shahin might have had a chance, but Samar had instead braced for the worst –which was why she had focused on the time they had, rather than optimistically hoping for more. Sixty three hours –a little more than two and a half days- was how long Shahin had managed to fight in the end; so much more than what the doctors had first predicted, but still not long enough to arrange and travel the journey from where they were stationed in the middle of nowhere. Samar took a breath, struggling to keep it together as she held Samantha, and desperate not to let the sudden rush of emotions show. She wasn't yet ready to have that conversation with Liz, nor did she want Liz's current state of utter elation to be marred by miserable stories of the past. Samar wondered to herself for a moment why the memories had suddenly flashed before her eyes; normally she managed to completely disassociate other people's children from the memories of her own, which was both how she had managed to go for so long without it being an issue, and how she had been so delighted by the idea of planning Liz's baby shower... All of a day or two before realising she was pregnant herself. Perhaps it was because in all that time, she hadn't cradled another newborn. That was one thing she had conveniently managed to avoid but now, just as so many other things had in the last few months, cradling little Sammy made everything feel so real. Samar steeled herself, recalling Aram's words about trying to remember the good things, and feeling a touch of pride at the fact that her little boy had indeed fought back hard enough to surpass expectations. With that in mind, she returned her focus to the little one in her arms currently, and quickly blinked away the frown on her face before Liz could see.

But she didn't quite manage it fast enough.

Liz furrowed her brow at the sight of the odd, distant expression on Samar's face, before switching to a smile as Samar seemed to snap herself out of whatever momentary thing was bothering her and resume her own, happier expression. The conversation overheard in the break room nearly six weeks earlier still played on Liz's mind, and though she still wasn't quite certain that her suspicions were correct, Samar looking so miserable at a baby in her arms –no matter how briefly- did nothing whatsoever to counter them.   
'Everything ok?' Liz cautiously prompted. Samar glanced back up at her.   
'Huh? Oh, yeah. I'm just tired and hormonal... And Sammy's so cute,' Samar forced a laugh, trying to cover for the fact that her eyes were apparently blinking a little more than they should in an effort to reign in the tear ducts. Liz pursed her lips for a second, not quite believing that, despite how ridiculously cute Sammy really was, it was something likely to prompt tears of happiness from Samar. Nonetheless, Liz took Samar's cover as indication that she shouldn't push any further, so she instead reached for the pen and forms left sitting on top of the short, drawered nightstand by her bed, and sat back down to start filling them out. 'What's that?' Samar asked curiously, eyeing the black and white pages.   
'Paperwork to fill out so the hospital administration can file the birth registration,' Liz answered simply. Samar wasn't sure if Liz was genuinely convinced by her excuse, or if she was simply being allowed to get away with whatever Liz had noticed, but either way Samar was grateful for the reprieve.   
'So, more thrilling stuff then?' She teased gently.   
'Yep,' Liz sighed, before shooting her a wink. 'Right... Name. Samantha Katarina Keen… Date of birth; July twenty-seventh,' Liz said out loud as she wrote the information in the relevant boxes, before suddenly glancing back at Samar. 'Oh, did you ever end up picking a middle name?' Despite their extensive name discussions earlier on in both their pregnancies, Samar had ended up leaving the question of Leila having a middle name, hanging in the air. She quickly shook her head in response to Liz's question;  
'No... Just Leila.' It was unfortunate really, because from the second Samar had started thinking about names –and long before discussing Shahin's name with Aram- she had wished she could name her daughter after her mother but of course, after the whole debacle with Shahin, had very quickly opted to choose an original name instead. Samar quickly hesitated, knowing that Liz had probably just caught another odd expression on her face and that this time, it wasn't as easy to cover. 'Your name choice makes me wish I'd thought to name her after my own mother, but I also like the idea of giving Leila her own name too...' She quickly explained. That of course, wasn't technically the most truthful version of events, but it was the easiest way to discuss it with Liz. Liz frowned for a second, once again momentarily irked by the indirect implication regarding her choice to name Samantha after other people, but quickly shook it off. She knew well enough that there were numerous different views on the idea of naming children after other people; everything from it being an honour and a tribute, to it causing pressure to live up to the namesake. Not to mention, she knew that she and Samar had both lost their mothers at a relatively young age... And while that was what had prompted Liz to choose Katarina as Sammy's middle name, it could also go the other way; perhaps Samar's mysterious but adamant preference for an original name was because naming her daughter after the mother she lost was too painful. They did, after all, tend to have very different ways of coping with things...

...Not that Liz knew _just_ how close she was to the truth with that sentiment.  

'What was her name?' Liz asked softly, and a small smile crossed Samar's face as she thought back to her mother.   
'Nasrin.'  
'You could make that Leila's middle name...' She paused thoughtfully for a moment, 'wait, do Persian names have middle names?' Liz also knew that Samar had wanted to give her daughter a Persian name, but she still wasn’t entirely sure of the customs.   
'They can have multiple given names... They don't always, but they can.'  
'Well, there you go.' Liz paused again, before adding with a chuckle; 'though, perhaps that can be one benefit of the whole Ressler thing too; _technically_ Leila's half American, so she _could_ have a middle name even if it wasn't a Persian thing.' Samar grinned.   
'True, but I think Leila Nasrin Navabi is kind of a mouthful.' Not to mention, she still was torn over whether to add it at all.   
'Hmm, good point,' Liz observed, noting Samar's lingering hesitation. 'Though, why not change it slightly? Like the way I named Samantha after Sam. Then it's still partly original, too.' Samar frowned again, liking the idea, but not sure how to go about it.   
'There's not really an easy way to change it,' she murmured.   
'Oh...' A look of dejection flashed across Liz's face, before another idea suddenly popped into mind; 'does it mean anything in particular?'  
'Wild rose,' Samar said, looking at her blankly. Liz's face lit up, and straight away Samar realised why.    
'I know you were hoping for a totally Persian name, but... Leila Rose Navabi is pretty cute.' Liz teased. 'Plus, it's both original, _and_ a tribute, in a certain kind of way.' Samar let out a soft smile as she nodded in agreement; it was very cute, _and_ a great compromise. A spark of doubt reared its head in her mind, making Samar wonder if it was too clichéd that she and Liz were now both choosing their mothers' names as their daughters' middle names, but she quickly dismissed it; she didn't care and frankly... Only the people closest to her were likely to understand the translation and what it meant, and they were the least likely to judge her for it. The tension in her shoulders began to ease as Samar finally relaxed back into her chair, and Liz smiled in relief. Though she wasn't entirely sure what exactly was bothering Samar, she was glad to see that she had managed to partly make her feel better regardless.  

With that out of the way, Liz turned back to her paperwork, and hovered over the section demanding details of the infant's father, suddenly hesitant. Samar glanced at the words on the page, trying to figure out what had Liz suddenly stopping in her tracks, but Liz looked back right at the same moment and caught her eye. Liz sighed, figuring that if Samar could catch her staring and at least partly share what was on her mind, she could do the same.   
'I still haven't heard from him...' Liz trailed off, gesturing at the little box on the form that asked for Tom's name. Samar bit her lip in hesitation, but ultimately decided it wasn't fair to keep the information turned up by her Mossad contacts to herself any more.  
'Actually... I asked some of my Mossad contacts to look into that, seeing as Reddington wasn't helping. I wasn't sure if I should mention it,' Samar began cautiously. Liz's eyes went wide, but she quickly, and wordlessly gestured for Samar to continue. 'They picked up traces of him in Moscow, but after that...' Samar trailed off too. Liz's face crumpled, and Samar quickly reached for her hand. 'I'm sorry Liz, but I think you were right. He's probably not going to come back.' Liz looked down at the way her hand was so neatly tucked in Samar's, and she gritted her teeth as Samar gave it a quick squeeze. Though she was upset, Samar's news only confirmed what Liz had already long suspected.  
'It's ok,' she sniffled, 'thank you for searching.' Liz pulled her hand away and quickly picked up her pen once again, as Samar watched silently. It was hard to know that she could share in Liz's sadness so openly and easily, when Liz couldn't share in hers. It didn't help that while Liz had so happily helped with Samar's middle name dilemmas, Samar felt as if she had just made things a thousand times worse for Liz. Liz stared stubbornly at the pages in front of her, making up her mind. A look of fierce determination suddenly flashed across her face and with an almighty flourish, she drew a line straight through the entire section of the page, leaving it otherwise blank. Samar grinned at the level of conviction in the gesture, glad to see that the question was now apparently resolved, and the weight on Liz's shoulders had been lifted. Samar dropped her gaze back to Samantha –still sleeping peacefully in her arms- as Liz continued to progress through the paperwork and fill out her own details, and felt a sudden inkling of hope from seeing Liz's strength. She was still nervous about what was yet to come, but she was excited about Sammy having arrived, and about Liz being able to move forward, so _finally_... Samar allowed herself a moment of excitement of her own about Leila's impending arrival in six weeks time.  

Then, a knock on the door suddenly interrupted their moment.  

'Hello?' Ressler's voice appeared from the doorway just before he did, making Samar and Liz both hurriedly look up from the subjects of their silent, internal musings. Ressler shuffled awkwardly into the room, and did a double take as he spotted Samar sitting beside Liz. 'Uh, I hope I'm not interrupting?' Liz shook her head, and Ressler stepped forward to hand her a small gift bag before quickly stepping back again.   
'Oh, you didn't have to...' Liz said, shooting him an amused, but appreciative smile.  
'I know, but... I figured, we're partners so, I wanted to get you something,' he paused, gesturing at the gift bag, 'I think that should go with the theme, right?' Liz peeked into the bag, and laughed in delight at the yellow and orange stuffed lion, before pulling it out to show Samar.  
'Ha, that's perfect! Sammy doesn't have a lion yet. Thank you, Ressler,' she said earnestly, before quickly adding; 'wait, how did you know yellow was in the colour theme?'  
'I might have overheard someone mention it...' He said, grinning back. Ressler glanced at the bundle of blankets in Samar's arms, dismissing the odd feeling he felt as he looked at them both, before turning back to Liz. 'So... A little girl, huh?'  
'Might you have overheard that too?' Liz teased.   
'No,' Ressler said with a chuckle, 'though when I heard the theme was pink and yellow I kind of just figured... But uh, I take it Sammy is named after your dad?' Liz nodded.   
'Samantha Katarina... After him and my mother too,' she explained.   
'Nice choice, Keen,' Ressler nodded approvingly, before suddenly teasing; 'that's a double dose of feisty you've got on your hands now, though.' Liz rolled her eyes at him, but laughed all the same.  
'I'm sure I'll manage,' she paused, as the three of them all stared at each other awkwardly again for a moment. 'Oh! Do you want to hold her?'  
'Am I allowed to?'  
'Of course!'  
'And I should probably share, too,' Samar added good-naturedly, pushing herself up off her chair and taking the couple of steps over to where Ressler was standing. Samar tentatively placed Sammy in Ressler's arms, quickly correcting the position of his elbow so that it properly supported her head, before stepping back again. Ressler stood quietly as Samar adjusted his arm, suddenly curious; if he brought a present for Liz, he wanted to do the same for Samar, seeing as they were _both_ his partners for a time... And Samar _had_ , after all, told him not to apply double standards, which that meant _technically_ , he could get away with giving her a gift too. But unlike Liz's case, Ressler didn't even have a suspicion either way as to whether Samar was having a girl or a boy... And that was what had him curious. It also reminded him that he hadn't really spoken to her in a while, besides the usual office smalltalk; not that he desperately needed to, but he _was_ curious about so many things... Not just whether her baby was a girl or a boy. He was curious about how things were going in general and more than anything, _he was curious about Aram_. Ressler would have thought that if Samar was at the hospital visiting Liz, then Aram would have been there too. But he wasn't, even though they were all supposed to be having time off, and that made Ressler wonder more so about the exact nature of Samar's relationship with Aram. In short, though he was now getting used to the idea that he was never truly going to be able to call Samar's child his own, Ressler was still always going to be curious –albeit from a distance- about what _was_ happening in its life... And he did genuinely want to be there for them in whatever capacity he could, just as he was for Liz.

Samar noted the strange look Ressler gave her as she stepped back, opting not to respond to it, but still wondering what he was thinking. She still had a few things to follow up on with him, that she had initially delayed, and then hadn't got back to as things became busier in the tail end of both her and Liz's pregnancies. His family medical history was the main thing she still needed to check, _but_... Samar bit her lip as she thought about it, she should probably talk to him about whether or not to put his name on Leila's birth certificate as well, just as a courtesy. She hadn't yet decided for herself what she thought was the best option, though she still did think leaving the space blank _might_ be a good idea... But, she didn't think it was fair to Ressler to do that without telling him first, especially when ever since she had called him out on his double standards, he had been trying so hard to ensure he did the right thing by her. She took the few steps back to her chair and sat down next to Liz again, as Ressler continued to gently rock Sammy back and forth... Entirely lost in his own thoughts...


	21. Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Saturday, August 6, 2016.

Samar paced back and forth across her living room, waiting for Ressler's knock on the front door. Just over a week had now passed since the silent glances they had shared across Liz's hospital room when he came to visit, but now that Aram had been away for a few days visiting his parents in Delaware, Samar had finally made the most of her free time and called Ressler to address the few issues that still needed discussing. Aram had wanted to leave a few hours earlier and be there just in case things got a little out of hand, but even he had to agree when Samar pointed out over the phone the night before that his presence might make things _more_ awkward, rather than easier, considering the way Ressler had walked in on them in the break room and then proceeded to avoid mentioning it ever since... So, Aram had agreed to stick to his original plan of returning later in the afternoon instead. That said, Samar wasn't entirely comfortable with the idea of inviting Ressler to her apartment either; it was _her_ space, and with all the awkwardness over him staying out of her daughter's life, it felt odd to invite him into a different part of her own. Though they had so far managed to restrain themselves from arguing of late, they still weren't friends. They had risen above the worst of their conflicts, but only so far as to reach the stage of doing the delicate dance around one another; trying to be civil and not to upset each other in an effort just to maintain the peace. Nonetheless, Samar knew this could be a potentially difficult conversation and still wasn't sure how well –or otherwise- it might go. She certainly didn't want either of them to cause a scene in a public place, and so she had relented; the privacy of her apartment was at least, the lesser of the two evils.  

She hurried as quickly as she could –which, considering the fact that she was now only five weeks shy of her due date, wasn't overly quick- down the hallway to the front door when she finally heard Ressler's knocking.   
'Hi,' he greeted her, as she opened the door. He was trying hard to be casual and friendly, but his ever so slightly raised shoulders and the one hand shoved deep in his jeans pocket said it all; just like Samar, Ressler was also a little uncomfortable being in what was most definitely _not_ neutral territory. However, he also appreciated the gesture and hoped it was a sign that things between them might continue to improve, so he had made the effort to battle the morning traffic rush and stop by anyway, no matter how uncomfortable he was.   
'Hey,' Samar greeted him back, forcing a smile and taking a step back so Ressler could enter the hallway and she could close the door behind him. She gestured for Ressler to follow and he did so, stopping only as she did when she reached the kitchen. He gazed around the open living area as he took a seat on one of the bar stools by the counter, observing not just the handful of baby things lying around the space, but also the few things that quite obviously had to belong to Aram –or at least, they quite obviously didn't belong to Samar. Most notably, one of Aram's sweaters was draped over the back of the couch- presumably from a time where he had pulled it off and hadn't picked it up again- and one of his socks lay on the floor, peeking out from behind the coffee table. Samar briefly followed Ressler's gaze and rolled her eyes at the sight of the charcoal grey sock on the floor. Clearly, in the chaos of sorting laundry while Aram hurried around at the last minute packing what he needed to go away for a few days, the sock had fallen from the laundry pile and neither of them had noticed. Aram hadn't planned on packing last minute, but when he had organised to visit his parents during the time off he would have while Liz was on leave, he hadn't banked on Liz going nine days overdue –he had thought he would have more time between returning from staying at her place, and leaving Samar's again. Instead, it had turned into a mad rush to get all the laundry done in time, so he actually had clean clothes to pack. Samar shook her head. _Oh well_... She could pick the sock up later –or maybe have Aram pick it up for her, considering the difficulty she had reaching the floor at the moment. Samar was far from a neat freak, but she did prefer the main living area to be at least somewhat tidy when people came over. That said, it was only Ressler, and she really wasn't all that fussed what _he_ thought of her place. Ressler, on the other hand, though he didn't care about mess, did note the presence of Aram's personal effects lying around so casually, with distinct interest. It was certainly telling about the nature of his relationship with Samar.  

'Coffee?' Samar asked expectantly, drawing Ressler's attention away from the things in the living room, and back to the task at hand. His not-quite snooping was doing absolutely nothing to ease her discomfort at his presence. Ressler quickly shifted his gaze back to her, and nodded gratefully, his mind still half wandering elsewhere. Samar turned to the coffee machine on the counter behind her, and quickly poured him a mug.    
'What did you want to talk about?' Ressler asked, as the steaming mug of coffee appeared in front of him. Samar paused for a second, wondering which issue to address first. In a snap decision, she picked the easier one.   
'A while back, my doctor asked me about my medical history, because...' Samar gestured lackadaisically at her belly without bothering to finish the sentence. It wasn't something that really needed explaining. Ressler nodded again, understanding instantly.   
'...And you need to know mine too?' Samar bit her lip; she didn't desperately _need_ to know, but considering the fact that she was already concerned about potential medical problems, any extra information she could get would be helpful.  
'It would be nice,' she said simply. Ressler let out a nervous sigh, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.   
'Right. Well uh, besides a tendency towards addictive personalities...' Ressler flashed back to his struggle with painkillers a year earlier, and his mother's battle with alcohol after his father passed, 'and some high blood pressure, there's nothing all that interesting. No heart problems, or any of the other things that doctors usually ask about.' Silence fell between them as Ressler trailed off and took another sip of his coffee, letting Samar process that information for a moment. She furrowed her brow, tempted to question him in greater detail, but eventually shook the idea from her mind. Ressler had understood what she was asking, and therefore should know what he would need to mention if there was anything. With that in mind, Samar took a breath and decided to trust his judgement that there was nothing on his side of things that she needed to worry about. Ressler took yet another sip of his coffee, pleased that they had managed to get through one topic of discussion without too much stress, but still bracing for whatever she wanted to talk about next.

'You said there were a couple of things you wanted to talk about?' He finally spoke up again.   
'The other thing is a little more complicated...' Samar began. 'It's about the birth certificate.' Ressler raised an eyebrow and eyed her warily over his coffee as she continued; 'you know it's not mandatory to list the father's name, right?' Ressler tried to stay calm as he felt a touch of frustration began to bubble inside, but it did nothing to hide the flash of hurt that crossed his face.   
'So what are you saying, exactly?' He asked quietly. Samar noted the look on his face and quickly tried to think of the least offensive way to explain what she had thought so many weeks earlier while discussing the idea with Liz in the break room.   
'It's not easy for you to let this go, I know that,' Samar tried to ease into it, 'but it won't get any easier for you if I have to keep coming back to you for signatures on paperwork for school enrolments, passport applications... Things like that. If I leave your name off the certificate, I wouldn't need your signature.' She winced at the thunderous look on Ressler's face as she finished the sentence; clearly, he hadn't quite understood what she was trying to do.  
'Oh, so you just want to make things easier for yourself then?' He blurted out, far from quietly this time.   
'If I'm doing this by myself, it would certainly help!' Samar quickly protested just as loudly, before taking a breath to try and calm herself -her sudden yell and rush of annoyance had prompted Leila to start kicking furiously in response. ' _But_ , I was thinking more along the lines of the fact that if I'm expecting you to let go, I shouldn't keep throwing it back in your face by continuously dragging you back in,' Samar eventually finished, forcing herself to keep her voice steady. They had made so much progress lately, with Ressler stepping back and the way he hadn't hassled her after walking in on her moment with Aram in the break room. Samar too, had been trying to be more considerate of Ressler and his struggle with letting go, even though she wasn't entirely accustomed to doing so, and that was why she had hoped now to avoid returning to the pattern of repeated arguments that just went around in circles, from the earlier days of her pregnancy; it wouldn't do any good for Leila –and if anything, it would defeat the purpose of why Ressler had opted to stay out of Leila's life in the first place.   
'Do I even get a say, or is this another one of those big decisions you've already decided?' Ressler growled. Samar flashed back to the conversation they'd had in his office when she first told him she was pregnant and keeping the baby.   
'No, I haven't decided for sure, but that's the option I'm leaning towards,' she said impatiently, 'I can't think of any reason why I _should_ list your name, but if you've got any argument to the contrary Ressler, I'm all ears.' Ressler paused, thinking about it. Even he had to admit, with the points Samar had raised, he couldn't think of anything, _except_...  
'That baby is my blood!' He shot back furiously. Hadn't she _just_ asked him about his medical history for genetic reasons? _Couldn't she see that letting go was hard enough already as it was?_ Ressler gritted his teeth; as far as he was concerned, this was just adding insult to injury.   
'Family is about more than just blood,' Samar's voice was calm, but firm. The harder Ressler fought her on this, the less inclined she was to listen to him, but she _did_ want him to stop yelling, and that meant one of them had to be the bigger person and try to be reasonable. 'Blood is the bricks of the wall, but love and respect are the cement that hold it all together... _That's_ the part that really matters.' That was something that had played on Samar's mind a lot recently; the idea that the man her brother became after he faked his death, was not really her brother anymore no matter the blood they shared, had changed her perspective on what family was really supposed to mean. She had come to the conclusion that Aram, Liz –and even by extension, little Sammy- were more her family these days than her brother ever was during those six years he hid from her. Unlike the way Shahin had taken her from the Mossad safehouse, completely prepared to use her as nothing but a source of information for his own agenda, Liz and Aram actually _cared_. _They_ were the sort of people Samar wanted around her now, and around Leila too.  

Ressler gaped at her for a second, before beginning to speak again.  

'Forgive me, but... The last time you gave me a poignant speech about what really matters,' Ressler tilted his head sharply to gesture at her belly, ' _that_ happened.' Samar rolled her eyes in exasperation, instantly flashing back to that first conversation in his office that had lead to their spur of the moment night together.   
'You're not part of my family, Ressler. You are my partner and for a while there, you were even my friend... But you're not family. Not to me, and not to this baby. _You_ chose not to be a part of its life.' She paused, and waved a gesture of her own between her belly and him. 'And trust me, _that_ definitely won't be happening again.'  
'Not even with Aram? What, are you putting his name on the certificate instead?' Ressler's voice dripped with spite. Samar hesitated, suddenly wondering about the implications of that first question, but quickly pushed the notion aside.   
'No,' she said simply, shaking her head and leaving the idea hanging in the air. 'Aram is...' She hesitated again, momentarily unsure how to define their relationship in a way that would quell Ressler's anger, rather than perpetuate it, 'an important part of my life. But, I'd rather leave him off the certificate too.' She still stood by what she had thought originally; it was too soon to think of Aram in that sense so conclusively, and it wasn't a decision to be made so lightly. This wasn't a fairy tale romance, there were larger implications at play that required time and significant consideration.   
'Then _why_ are we even having this conversation?' Ressler asked wearily. He had hoped that when she invited him over to talk over coffee, that they would be able to get through a discussion without arguing for once, but he hadn't anticipated that she would want to discuss something quite so contentious.  
'Because it's a big decision, and I didn't think it was fair not to at least tell you first,' she sighed. Ressler glanced in surprise at the tired expression on her face, the notion that she could have just done it anyway without saying anything finally snapping him out of his own frustrated funk... But Samar wasn't finished; 'look, if it really bothers you _that_ much, I _can_ put your name down... Or you can march down to the courthouse later, demand a paternity test, and have your name added whether I like it or not, but what is that really going to achieve besides saying that you're the biological father? You and I already know that's the case... And who else needs to know? Who else is going to read that piece of paper, really?' Ressler let out a sigh of his own as Samar's final argument hit home; symbolism and pride aside, there was no real reason why his name _should_ be listed. Ressler couldn't deny that it hurt, or that the shock factor of her announcement had shaken him, _but_ ... Samar was trying to do the right thing, and make things easier for both of them.  
'Ok, leave the certificate blank,' he reluctantly conceded, 'just... Tell me when he or she is born? Like Liz did? Samar, I do want to be there as a friend or, you know... A not-quite-friend.'  
'...She,' Samar said softly, finally letting out a small smile. Ressler's eyes went wide in surprise as she continued; 'and yes, I will. I had already planned to do that, actually.' What hadn't occurred to Ressler before, was that just like he had to figure out exactly how much involvement he could have in their lives, Samar too, had her own line to toe in regards to just how much she could let him in without throwing the reality of the situation back in his face. In that sense, Samar had a certain degree of power that Ressler didn't; the things she could say or do, or the decisions she could make, could either make his life a hundred times easier, or a hundred times more difficult... And as he calmed down, Ressler realised; Samar could have mentioned that leaving his name off the certificate meant they didn't have to go down the difficult road of dealing with child support-related drama either... But she _hadn't_ mentioned that. She had instead focused on what was, for Ressler at least, the bigger issue; trying to make things easier for him, emotionally... And that wasn't the kind of thing Samar normally did.  

Clearly, her entire life having been turned upside down, had an effect.

'She?' Ressler's voice cracked, the information sending his brain spiralling. Samar nodded wordlessly; she hadn't planned on telling Ressler that before Leila was born, but considering the circumstances, and the reality she had just slapped him with... It was a peace offering. She furrowed her brow, wondering for a moment when on earth she became so considerate of his feelings. Usually she was more inclined to call things how they were and not give a damn what other people thought, but perhaps... Seeing as this was a situation where she had not just herself to think about for once, but a child as well... Ressler had become a special case –or at least, so long as the issue they were debating involved Leila. Her smile widened slightly; Samar sincerely doubted that the struggle over that line between them would ever really be one hundred per cent resolved, but at least they were more or less figuring it out. Ressler suddenly shot her a grin of his own.  
'Wow, I never thought I'd ever accidentally spawn a mini you. That's a scary thought.' Ressler had no doubt that any little girl raised by Samar would be just as fierce as she was. Samar's smile immediately disappeared as she flinched; _that wasn't particularly great phrasing_. But, much like many other things Ressler had said in the past –she at least understood what he meant... And so long as it was a mindset that hopefully helped Ressler distance himself, Samar wasn't going to complain.  

/*/*/*/*

The sound of the front door opening made Samar begin to stir. After Ressler had left, she had curled up on the couch with a book and a cup of tea, only to eventually concede defeat to the tiredness that came from her earlier emotional rollercoaster, and the three nights without her human pillow. Leaning back against the couch cushions, and wrapped in the sweater Ressler had noticed flung over the back of the couch earlier, Samar had closed her eyes for a quick nap, and fallen asleep in all of two minutes. Now, some two and a half hours later, her slumber was only interrupted by Aram's return.  

Aram traipsed from the front door down the hallway of the silent apartment, his own tiredness from the three hours on the road driving back to DC pulling at his shoulders. He gazed around the room curiously as he reached the end of the hallway and arrived at the living room, wondering why on earth the lights were dimmed and everything was so quiet. With the couch facing the opposite direction, it took him a moment to spot the end of Samar's dark pony tail dangling over the edge of the armrest and realise she was asleep. A soft smile tugged at his lips as he dropped his bags in the corner, crossed the room and wandered around to the front of the couch; _she looked so peaceful_. Her eyes fluttered open as he stooped to brush the loose strands of hair off her face and press a kiss to her cheek.   
'Hey, you're back...' She mumbled, through a sleepy smile, 'how are your parents?' Aram gently nudged her feet, and Samar pulled her knees in for a second so that Aram could sit down at the other end of the couch, before she stretched out again and rested her legs across his lap.   
'They're good,' he began casually. Now more awake, Samar noted the tone in his voice, and she looked at him quizzically.   
'...But?' Aram let out a nervous smile.  
'But...' He started again, 'they pointed out that I've been seeing someone for six months, and they still haven't really met that someone yet.' A flash of confusion crossed Samar's face.  
'I've met your parents before,' she said indignantly. It was true; one time they had come to visit Aram, and he had invited her, Liz and Ressler over for dinner so that his parents could meet his team. Ressler had declined because he'd had other plans, but Liz and Samar had come along happily; Aram's parents were lovely, and it had been quite an enjoyable evening.   
'That was over a year ago,' Aram reminded her, albeit with a grin. Still, it wasn't quite the same. His parents had met Samar as his friend, not as anything more... And now, things were _very_ different. They knew most of what was happening; Aram kept in touch with them regularly over the phone, and it certainly wasn't fair to keep from them that he was seeing Samar, and that she was pregnant, but the child wasn't his. However, that was as far as Aram had –with some difficulty- explained. He certainly hadn't mentioned the messy circumstances that had lead to the whole scenario; that wasn't information they needed to know, nor did Aram feel it was his place to share it. Needless to say, his parents had been a little stunned by the idea at first but they were as open-minded as he was, so they trusted his judgement and always insisted on asking how Samar was, every time they called. 'Point is, they've invited _us_ ,' Aram waved his hand around, quickly gesturing at himself, Samar, _and_ her belly for added emphasis, 'to visit during a long weekend or something... But only if you're comfortable.' Samar leaned her head back against the armrest again, frowning at the ceiling as she thought about it. She _had_ met Aram's parents that one time, so she knew they were nice enough people. Plus, with Aram having already explained the situation to them a while ago, Samar knew they weren't going to be at all judgemental either... _So what was she worried about?_ She let out a small sigh; Aram's parents were important to him, and if he could stand by her so happily when she was pregnant with another man's child, she could manage a few days with his parents. Samar turned her gaze back to him, one eyebrow raised warily.  
'Ok... When _is_ the next long weekend?' She asked cautiously. Aram's entire face lit up with a delighted grin, as he gently pushed her legs off his lap so he could stand up again, then reached for her hands to help pull her up off the couch too.   
'I was hoping you might ask me that,' he said, winking. Samar let out a groan as she rose from the couch, and rolled her eyes at the cheeky look on his face.  
'You already told them we're coming, didn't you?'  
'Nooo... But I did tell them I was hopeful.' Samar struggled not to smile at just how excited Aram was, and the way he was still cautious even though he clearly knew her so well.

Who would have thought, that year or so ago, that this was what her life would look like now?


	22. Bombshell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Saturday, August 13, 2016.

'Samar?' A familiar voice sounded behind her in the coffee shop queue –the kind of familiar voice that made her heart instinctively jump and her face light up. There was no reason for her to be surprised; this was, after all, the third cafe that she, Aram and Liz had been to that morning, so it seemed reasonable to assume that they would eventually bump into someone they knew at some point. In this case, and in honour of Aram's birthday, the trio were taking themselves along what Liz referred to as a 'cupcake tour' -which meant to say; neither she, nor Samar for that matter, felt up to actually making a whole cake themselves and so after Liz had half-heartedly read a magazine article listing the best cupcakes in DC, she and Samar had mapped out the few closest to their neighbourhoods, all the while telling Aram that they were taking him to taste test each one as an alternative to birthday cake. It seemed silly, but with both Liz and Samar on maternity leave and going stir-crazy, it _was_ a good way for them to get out of their respective apartments without Samar's pregnant belly or Liz's new baby in a pram getting in the way and making things difficult. Aram, by this point –and Ressler too, for that matter- had been temporarily reassigned to another taskforce until the Post Office was back in action, so at least one of them wasn't completely losing their mind with boredom. But, he was delighted by the cupcake tour idea anyway... And so there they were; waiting in the queue for coffee to go with their latest round of cupcakes.  

Samar turned on the spot without even thinking.

'Levi!' She exclaimed brightly as she turned, but the smile vanished from her face the second she saw his. It didn't bear the cheerful smile that it had when she saw him all those months ago at the Mossad safe house in Georgetown, nor the happily twinkling eyes. Rather, he was simply staring at her in shock. Beside her, and in an instinctive move all of his own, Aram put his arm around her protectively... Or perhaps territorially. Samar wasn't entirely sure. Either way, in this case it only made her more uncomfortable. On Samar's other side, and ever so slightly behind her now after having stood in front when facing the barista in the opposite direction, Liz peeked around to look at Levi with one eyebrow raised curiously. In the pram tucked behind them, Samantha began to fuss, and Liz shook the curiosity out of her mind as she wearily turned away to pick Sammy up and try to settle her. It was just enough to break Levi out of his state of being momentarily stunned, and his gaze quickly swept across the four of them, what felt like a million questions swirling around in his mind. Samar being pregnant was not a sight he had expected to ever see again, for starters.   
'Uh, hi,' Levi began, his voice faltered uneasily as he shifted uncomfortably on his feet. Samar bit her lip, unsure how to address the fact that she obviously now looked so very different compared to the last time he saw her, without making it even more awkward than it already was. It only made things worse that the last time she saw him, Samar had hugged him quite happily without a single second's hesitation, and he had hugged her back in much the same fashion... Whereas now Levi stood back from her, still surprised and seemingly unwilling to automatically reach forward with the sort of gesture of affection Samar was used to expecting from him. Realising that the extended silence was only increasing the awkwardness radiating from the both of them, Samar quickly tried to snap herself out of it.  
'Hi,' she hurriedly replied, before glancing from one side to the other at Aram and Liz, 'uh guys, this is Levi.' She shifted her gaze back to the man in question; 'and Levi, this is Aram, and Liz...' Samar quickly peeked sideways to note that Liz was indeed still holding little Sammy; '...and Samantha.' Levi nodded slowly, still taking it all in. He was trying to maintain a neutral expression, but Samar knew Levi well enough that she could tell what was going through his mind; she knew what he was wondering, and the assumptions he was making as he ever so slightly shifted his gaze to size up Aram.  

...And Aram silently eyed him back.

The reality was so far from what Levi was assuming, and so much more complicated; Samar knew she was going to need to discuss that with him properly. As far as Levi was concerned, he was under the impression that Samar hadn't changed her mind since the time she swore to him vehemently that she would never have another child, and yet... There she was, standing in front of him, now eight months pregnant. But for the moment, Levi and Aram were engaged in a fierce battle of silent staring -undoubtedly fuelled by Levi's misunderstanding, and Aram's arm firmly around her. Samar resisted the urge to sigh and roll her eyes; as much as it irritated her, she knew Aram's arm around her was an instinctive reaction to the situation and in all truthfulness, she was also partly inclined to stand up for him and correct Levi's assumptions on the spot. However, Samar knew that just as it made her uncomfortable when Aram or anybody else tried to make a stand for her, so too would it make Aram uncomfortable if she made a stand for him -or at least, against Levi anyway. Aram and Levi were both gentlemen, and far from the jealous type, but these were particularly awkward circumstances. It seemed ridiculous to her, but Samar wasn't stupid; she knew it was a guy thing.  

It wouldn't last long, but they needed to have their moment nonetheless.  

Samar quickly turned to her other side, reaching for Liz's arm to catch her attention -not that she needed to; Liz's attention was firmly, and worriedly, focused on the apparent staring contest between Aram and Levi.  
'Uh, Liz,' she murmured, 'can you come with me to the bathroom for a moment?' Liz glanced back at her in surprise; that wasn't the move she was expecting from Samar, but she nodded all the same. 'Just excuse us for a minute or two, we'll be back _shortly_.' As Samar's gaze flickered between Levi and Aram, the emphasis she placed on that last word said everything either of the two men needed to know exactly what she was saying to them; _get it out of your systems, quickly_.  

Aram watched them both walk away, waiting until Liz was well out of earshot before turning back to Levi;  
'I know about what happened,' he said quickly, and Levi let out a sigh of relief. 'But uh, Liz doesn't, and Samar doesn't want to tell her just yet so...' Aram trailed off as Levi nodded in understanding; the past was something he and Samar barely even spoken of to each other, let alone to other people, so Levi hadn't been sure what to say to her in front of the other two. Now able to move past that issue, Levi suddenly furrowed his brow in concern.  
'Is she ok?' He asked, 'this can't be easy for her.' Aram hesitated, trying to figure out the best, and simplest way to describe all the ups and downs of the past few months as Samar had adjusted to her new reality.   
'She's anxious, but more or less ok now.' Another awkward silence fell between the two of them. Aram knew Levi had no idea about Samar's night with Ressler and as such, automatically assumed that this was a much less complicated scenario and that the baby was his... But Aram also didn't know how to correct that assumption without going into far too much detail on a part of Samar's life that really wasn't his place to discuss with outsiders.   
'Sometimes I wonder if I didn't fight hard enough for her...' Levi eventually spoke up again, his eyes darting wistfully in the direction that Samar and Liz had wandered away. '...If I should have chased her instead of letting her go, so that we could face what happened instead of trying to run away from it.'  
'She wouldn't have liked that,' commented Aram, 'Samar doesn't like to be forced.' Levi's gaze snapped back to him.  
'You understand her well, then,' he observed, the discerning expression finally disappearing completely from his face, in favour of something more thoughtful. Aram simply shrugged.  
'I try to.'   
'I could never look after her the way I wanted to,' Levi said, letting out a reluctant sigh. 'Well, you know, not that she _needs_ looking after, but... It's hard to be there for someone who insists on dealing with everything by themselves, and she's just so stubborn.' Aram couldn't help but let out a brief chuckle. It was true; Samar _was_ stubborn. She was determined to remain fiercely independent and with her past, it was never going to be easy for her to let people in, but although Levi had a point, Aram wasn't too worried. Samar was more than capable of dealing with things herself and if the last few months were any indication, Aram didn't need to push her to be able to help in the rare occasions that she couldn't. He knew that so long as he didn't push her, Samar was content to talk to him when she felt she needed to, and _that_ was the important thing. Levi furrowed his brow pensively, 'just don't do what I did...' He warned, a touch of bitterness and regret creeping into his voice; 'don't screw it up and dismiss her if she ever tries to tell you that she thinks something's wrong.' Levi glanced across the cafe again for a moment, absent-mindedly searching for Samar in the crowd. Curiously, Aram followed his gaze.  
'You miss her, don't you?' He asked quietly.   
'Yes, I do,' Levi said, nodding slowly. 'But... The reality is; there was no way for us to come back from what happened. We allowed ourselves to fall apart too far for that... So we've each had to move on, but I'm glad she's happy now.'

/*/*/*/*

'You're quiet today,' Samar observed, as she and Liz walked into the bathroom. 'When Levi asked me out to dinner all those months ago, you were so excited. Now you have a chance to actually meet him, and you don't say anything?' Liz forced herself to let out a weary smile.  
'I'm just tired,' she said. Samar furrowed her brow in concern.  
'Is Sammy not sleeping?' Liz gave a small sigh, and dropped her gaze.  
'Uh, yeah... Stuff like that,' Liz glanced up again, determined to shrug it off; 'normal new mom stuff, I think.' She gave a less than convincing nod in an attempt to reassure Samar that all was fine. Samar eyed her for a second, before deciding not to question Liz any further. Liz also hadn't been as excited for their day out as Samar would have usually expected, even though she was going through all the motions trying to appear as if she was. But, Samar could tell the difference; Liz's smiles -though plentiful- were forced, and Levi wasn't the only thing she had stayed quiet on. Liz had been far less chatty than usual, on and off for the last few days. However, so long as it was just normal new mom tiredness, Samar was content to just take silent, mental note of Liz's words... Filing them carefully away in the back of her mind for the sake of making sure her friend was ok, but otherwise leaving it at that. There was no other sign to make Samar suspect anything else. Now content to move on and change the subject, Samar shot Liz a teasing grin.  
'So... How long do you think we should give them?' She asked. Liz let out a grin of her own -a more genuine one this time, amused by the idea of Aram and Levi probably trying and failing to give each other a hard time. They were both far too kind to have a go at each other with any degree of seriousness; they each simply wanted to make sure the other wasn't going to cause Samar any trouble... Not that Samar couldn't cause any trouble of her own for the pair of them if she wanted to.   
'Oh, just a few minutes,' Liz said with a smirk, 'any longer than that and they'll probably join forces instead to send out a search party for us.'  

/*/*/*/*

Aram and Levi both suddenly went quiet as Samar and Liz returned to their side. Aram handed Liz and Samar the coffees that they had ordered earlier, and that he had collected from the barista towards the tail end of his conversation with Levi.   
'Everything ok out here?' Samar asked cautiously, taking a sip of her coffee. Both men nodded quickly. Samar doubted there was any serious animosity between the two of them, but she was certainly curious about whatever conversation _had_ transpired... And the one thing she was nervous about, was that Levi might accidentally let slip anything about her past while Liz was there. All she could do, was hope that Aram had mentioned that to Levi already.  

Somewhat awkwardly, the four of them began to make small talk as they all exited the coffee shop and filed one by one out onto the street -with Levi politely asking Liz about little Sammy and offering her his congratulations, while the rest of them took that as cue to keep the conversation steered as far away from Samar's own pregnancy as possible. Nonetheless, as they all went back and forth in polite, but hesitant conversation, Liz couldn't help but make her own observations... She was exhausted, sure, but she wasn't blind. Samar and Levi were continuously swapping reluctant, but warm and reassuring smiles whenever they happened to catch one another's eye, and any time Levi seemed to think Samar wasn't looking, he paused to glance wistfully at her belly. Add to that the way Levi had taken Samar out to dinner to break it to her gently that he was engaged to someone else, as well as the way Samar had seemed so upset by that information, and Liz suddenly found the whole situation quite odd. For exes, Samar and Levi seemed exceptionally comfortable with one another... It certainly wasn't the typical behaviour exhibited by two people who had been through a _bad_ break up. All it did was further Liz's suspicions about Samar's past, and make her wonder if that very thing Samar was hiding, was something that had happened with Levi. It would certainly explain in part, how comfortable they were with each other.  

_Perhaps they were no longer together, not because they fell out of love with one another, but because something had simply happened to tear them apart..._

With that in mind, Liz was even more certain; it wasn't just Aram that Levi needed to talk privately with, but Samar as well. Whether Liz's suspicions were true or not, Levi _did_ seem particularly taken aback by the fact Samar was pregnant, and that was something Liz was sure they needed to discuss. Her heart breaking slightly at the way she kept putting pieces of Samar's past together in a way could only keep getting worse, Liz cleared her throat.  
'Uh, Aram...' She began, trying to think of _any_ excuse to pull him away, 'I forgot to get one of those cookies to save for later. Come with me and help me pick one?' Samar and Levi each raised a suspicious eyebrow, and Aram did a double take; considering the fact that they were on a cupcake tour, that was probably the most absurd thing for Liz to ask. Not to mention, she was more than capable of choosing a cookie by herself. Nonetheless, Liz tugged at his arm, prompting him to recognise that whether she was actually after a cookie or not, she was trying to pull him away, and so off he went... Reluctantly, but curiously following her back into the coffee shop with nothing more than a casual 'we'll be back in a moment' wave to Samar and Levi.  
'Could they be any more obvious?' Levi said, letting out a wry smile. Samar couldn't help but chuckle.   
'She means well.' Samar bit her lip anxiously as Levi paused and his expression became more serious.   
'Samar-' He began.  
'-This isn't what it looks like-' She quickly cut him off.   
'-After everything that happened between us, and everything with your brother, I wanted to tell you personally that I was engaged...' A touch of hurt crept into Levi's voice as he gestured at her belly, 'but you didn't say anything about all _this_.' Samar's shoulders drooped and a flash of guilt crossed her face.  
'I didn't realise I was pregnant until after that... This wasn't supposed to happen,' she said, letting out a small sigh.   
'So, you and Aram had a surprise, just like we did,' Levi commented flatly, 'you still could have told me you were seeing someone.' Samar hurriedly shook her head.   
'Levi, I didn't lie to you.'  
'You said you weren't seeing anyone.'  
'I _wasn't_.' Levi screwed up his face in confusion and Samar took a deep breath, before trying to quickly explain to him as best she could; that none of it was supposed to happen, that she and Aram had always been close but the baby wasn't his, that it all started with a one time thing after that awful, stressful day, and that Aram and Liz were the ones who had helped her pick up the pieces when everything fell apart... And that things had just gone from there.   
'Oh,' was all Levi could slowly utter in response, after Samar's explanation finally came to an end.   
'Yep,' Samar slowly nodded. Levi's face continued to contort in disbelief.   
'That's crazy, even for you,' he said.   
'Yep...' Samar sighed.   
'You know, I didn't really like that Agent Ressler. He was irritating.'  
'He's not _so_ bad,' Samar said, her lip twitching in amusement. All personal conflicts aside, Ressler _was_ well intentioned –it was simply that his intentions didn't always line up with her own, and that often caused them to clash.   
'I didn't think he was your type,' Levi added thoughtfully. Samar winced.  
'He's not...' She admitted, 'but that was a _long_ day.' Levi tipped his head down, letting out a short 'ah' of understanding.  
'That Aram seems to be a good guy,' he eventually spoke up again after a brief pause. Samar couldn't help but smirk.   
'Funny, Ressler said the same thing about you.' Levi raised a curious eyebrow.  
'And what does Aram think about Ressler?' He asked drolly.   
'They get along well enough,' she chuckled. Levi paused for yet another moment, staring thoughtfully at her, before speaking again.  
'Listen, Samar...' He started slowly, 'I have to go but please, stay in touch. Let me know how things go, ok?' Samar nodded again. The anxious look on his face was all Samar needed to know that much like she had on and off throughout her pregnancy so far, Levi was now flashing back to the past, and he was desperate to know that it wasn't going to happen all over again.   
'I will,' she said softly. After a moment of hesitation, Levi reached forward to squeeze her hand, then gently pressed a kiss to her cheek, making a breath catch in Samar's throat as he lingered so close to her for what was probably two seconds too long. 'Goodbye, Levi,' she murmured, as they eventually pulled away from one another. Levi bowed his head wordlessly, then slowly turned on his heels and began to walk away. Samar watched him go, an ever so slight feeling of missing him churning in her gut, just as it had when he had kissed her back at the safe house. But as she too, slowly turned, and headed back in the direction of the coffee shop to find Aram and Liz, Samar felt as if a weight was now free from her shoulders. It was good to see Levi... To have the chance to talk to him about the past and the present, but it was even better to know that now, it really was all behind them. Samar let out a warm, relieved smile as she spotted Liz and Aram stepping back out onto the street towards her again.

Now, she really could move forward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...And next up; 'Arrivals - Part 2'. Brace yourselves!


	23. Arrivals - Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Tuesday, August 23, 2016.

The gleam of light flickering through the crack of the bedroom door, made Aram begin to stir. Hearing him roll over and grumble under his breath, Samar peeked her head around the door to check that he was still asleep, before ducking back into the hallway and closing the door properly behind her. Clutching her belly and wincing in pain, she paced up and down the hall, trying to convince herself that it was just false labour pains that might stop if she moved around enough... But in reality, Samar knew better; the painful contractions weren't irregular like those of false labour and to top it off, her back was aching too.

That meant, despite Samar's denial, it was time... But it was time, two and half weeks early.  

After so much time waiting for something to go possibly go wrong, and that something never happening, her contractions starting earlier than expected had Samar anxious, panicking, and frustrated at how she had eventually given in and allowed herself to start feeling excited a month earlier. Another wave of pain stopped Samar in her tracks, and she leaned her arm against the wall as she bent over slightly, gritting her teeth in determination; _this couldn't be happening... It was too soon_. That was why, stubbornly, Samar had chosen to pace up and down in the hallway, rather than wake Aram. _If Aram wasn't awake to see it, then it wasn't happening... Right?_  

The sound of Aram rolling over again, then of his footsteps crossing the bedroom to the door, jolted Samar from her mind's irrational, panicked willing the universe to change its course of action. She leaned back against the wall, glancing at the door, and waiting for Aram to inevitably appear, allowing reality to sink in for good.   
'Samar... It's five in the morning,' Aram grumbled as the door slowly creaked open, and he came into view. He rubbed his eyes, squinting slightly as he adjusted to the light now glaring into them. 'Why are you awake?' Samar simply winced in pain again, rather than answer his question. Aram's eyes widened in alarm as he took in the pained expression on her face, and all the fuzziness of sleep disappeared from his brain. Panic mode of his own now well and truly activated, Aram suddenly rushed back into the bedroom to reach for the small handful of things that couldn't go into Samar's pre-packed bag until the last minute, before rushing out and past her again to find the bag in question.  
'Aram, it's too soon,' Samar gasped as Aram ran past her yet again and she grabbed his arm to stop him.   
'You're in labour, we need to get you to the hospital now!' Aram yelped, his eyes wild with panic, and his voice rising nearly a full octave. Samar felt a brief flash of amusement through the anxiety as it occurred to Aram to help her away from the wall before resuming his rushing around the apartment; Aram hadn't panicked much at all when _Liz_ first went into labour. Not to mention, being in labour and needing to go to the hospital was not the part Samar was worrying about. Being in labour she could deal with; she had been bracing for it for a while. It was the fact that it was happening earlier than expected, that had her concerned.   
'It's too soon for that as well... But that's not what I meant,' she said, grimacing as Aram tried to guide her back towards the bedroom so she could at least sit on the bed. Her labour was nowhere near far enough along to warrant the mad dash just yet but of course, Aram didn't want to wait. Aram did a double take, furrowing his brow in confusion before suddenly understanding what it was that she was referring to.   
'Babies can be born from as early as thirty seven weeks, and they're completely fine...' He muttered gently, before trailing off; Aram was sure he had read something along those lines, _somewhere_ , in preparation for the arrivals of both Sammy and Leila, so the fact that Samar hadn't quite reached the usual forty weeks didn't faze him at all. 'You don't need to worry,' he added for good measure, as he glanced at the unconvinced expression on Samar's face. Samar knew that information as well as Aram did, realistically speaking, but that didn't stop her from feeling anxious. Still standing, Samar bit her lip and dropped her gaze to the wooden floorboards as she let out a heavy sigh and shook her head.  
'Shahin came early too,' she murmured simply in response. _Oh_. Aram flinched at that particular revelation, before gently brushing the loose hair off Samar's face and pressing a quick, reassuring kiss to her lips.   
'Leila's going to be just fine,' he repeated for what felt like the millionth time over the last few months, 'but, we are going to the hospital now, ok?' Samar raised an eyebrow, knowing that they were going to end up being told on arrival to wait for what would probably feel like an infinite amount of time before she was actually admitted, but that Aram's own panic would probably serve her just as well too. At least that way, if something did go wrong, she would be in the right place.  

/*/*/*/*

Finally admitted and settled in her hospital room, Samar tried desperately to breathe through the pain as calmly as she could, while waiting for her usual doctor to arrive. Aram sat in the old hospital chair by her bedside, having already made the call to Liz and sent the courtesy notice texts to Ressler and Cooper, while stuck in the waiting room earlier. He held her hand as he sat there silently, only murmuring occasional short strings of comforting, sympathetic words as each contraction came and her grip on his fingers suddenly tightened. Now that Leila's arrival was relatively imminent, the worst of Samar's initial panic had gone flying out the window in favour of frustration and impatience for all her concerns just to be either confirmed or alleviated once and for all. With that in mind, Samar seemed to be coping far better with the quiet and privacy of the room than she had with the stressful, nervous atmosphere of the waiting area... But Aram was still struggling to contain his own panic in order to give her that quiet, and the fact that despite her calm, Samar was –understandably- still yelling at the waves of agonising pain, did nothing to quell his anxiety either.   
'Hey,' she prompted him, gently squeezing his hand and letting out a weary smile as another contraction came and slowly passed. Aram shook himself from staring restlessly at their intertwined fingers, and glanced back at her curiously. 'You know, this is going to get messy... So if you don't want to be here to see it...' Samar began cautiously, 'you don't have to stay.' No matter how patient and understanding Aram always seemed to be, Samar was still conscious of the fact that he had well and truly thrown himself into the deep end and that more than anything, all his self-declared obligations to her and Leila were in fact, voluntary. Her appreciation for Aram being there for her was unwavering, but she _had_ been prepared to deal with it all on her own, and now in her current, pensive state, Samar felt a sudden spark of self-consciousness over the idea of potentially taking advantage of his presence. Not to mention, and contrary to popular opinion, Samar was under no illusions that childbirth was a 'beautiful' process at all.  

Calling it 'messy' was putting it mildly.  

Aram slowly shook his head, shooting her an exasperated look for suggesting something so ridiculous.   
'I'm not going anywhere,' he quickly reassured her. A brief flash of hesitation crossed Samar's face just long enough for Aram to see it, before her expression contorted in pain again. Aram waited for the contraction to pass -and for sensation to return to his fingers- before he spoke again; 'put it this way; if you think that after months of being kicked in the side every night by this kid, I'm going to give up the chance to call first dibs on a cuddle after she's born, you're even crazier than I thought,' he said flatly, and Samar simply raised an eyebrow as she exhaled deeply. 'Well, first dibs after you, I mean,' Aram hurriedly corrected himself.   
'And me too, I hope,' Liz's voice came as she knocked on the half-open door, making both Samar and Aram's gazes snap suddenly up and across the room. 'You know, belly buddy privileges and all,' she said matter-of-factly, crossing the room to sit in the chair next to Aram's. Aram gave a small huff of mock indignation at _that_ idea, but Samar shot Liz another weary smile all the same.   
'Where's Samantha?' Aram asked, suddenly puzzled. Liz had said she wanted to be there just as Samar had been there for her, but they all knew she couldn't bring a four week old to a delivery room, so Aram had wondered how on earth she would manage. Liz let out a soft smile.   
'With Cooper. He insisted on babysitting duty when he came to visit after she was born,' she explained. Liz had felt a little guilty leaving Sammy with Cooper so soon, but unlike when she had gone into labour in the mid-afternoon and Sammy had been born a few minutes shy of midnight, Samar had gone into labour much earlier in the day... And by the time Aram had notified everyone of what was happening, they were all awake and eating breakfast. So, Liz had figured, seeing as it wasn't a completely ungodly hour, she could take Cooper up on his offer just this once. Aram nodded in understanding, then quickly flinched as Samar began to crush his fingers again. Another knock at the door suddenly caught their attention, and a middle aged doctor –though, _not_ the doctor that Samar had seen throughout the duration of her pregnancy thus far- stepped into the room.  
'Good morning,' he said, a friendly smile appearing as he put down the clipboard he had been reading from; 'Ms. Navabi?' Samar simply nodded, gritting her teeth as her latest contraction passed. The doctor took a few more steps towards them as he introduced himself; 'I'm Doctor Stroud. Apologies for the delay; your regular doctor is actually on the other side of the country for a conference and he's not due back until tomorrow, and you weren't on the list he left of patients that needed covering while he's away, because you're not due for a couple more weeks. The staff here had to scramble to find someone for you. But other than that, how are you going today?' Samar winced; _was there anything about this that was going to go as planned?_  
'Uhh,' Samar began, letting out an uneasy smile, 'if we could just get this baby out of here now, that would be nice.' An unfamiliar –and unsettlingly chirpy- doctor was far from reassuring but at this point, all Samar wanted was for things to get moving. Doctor Stroud merely let out a chuckle.  
'Well, the nurses tell me you're about ready to get this show on the road, so I think we can manage that quite soon. Unfortunately though, because you're here earlier than expected, your previous doctor didn't leave me any notes, so I just need to go through a few quick questions, ok?' Samar nodded her assent, and Stroud began to go through the usual medical history questions, as well as a brief run through of how her pregnancy had progressed so far. Aram and Liz sat quietly, both quite sure that the answers to most of those questions should have been in Samar's general hospital file and that the staff could have given that information to Stroud if they had actually bothered to look, but it wasn't a protest worthy issue, and Samar seemed to be content to go through it all –in fact, going through it all so systematically seemed to calm her a little- so they didn't voice any complaints... And then Stroud arrived at his final question; 'now, is this your first pregnancy?' Aram looked back and forth between Samar and the doctor as Samar let out another pained yell, unsure how to answer that question when Liz was there in the room with them but Samar was apparently too occupied being swept up in another wave of contraction pain to answer this one for herself.   
'Uhhh...' Aram hesitated, as his eyes flickered sideways for a moment to where Liz was sitting. Stroud raised an eyebrow, noting that he had potentially stumbled across an uncomfortable topic.   
'We can come back to that one in a minute if it's easier,' he prompted, glancing at Samar now exhaling deeply as the end of the contraction passed. Aram tried to force an appreciative smile at Stroud's efforts to give them a chance to get around the question that was clearly an issue, even though he didn't know why, but it was too late. Liz had seen the hesitation –the very hesitation that most certainly should not have been present if this was Samar's first pregnancy- and she now glanced between Aram and Samar, with an expression of pure devastation etched across her face that begged them silently to tell her that all her suspicions had been wrong. Aram bowed his head in defeat, and gently squeezed Samar's hand in his. Samar simply nodded in response, as another wave of pain hit and she screwed up her face in an effort to restrain herself from yelling again, but Aram understood what it meant; there was no point trying to hide the past from Liz any more. Samar gripped his hand tightly, as Aram kissed the top of her head and murmured a few reassuring words in her ear, before turning back in his chair to face the doctor and Liz. He quickly relayed everything off the top of his head that Samar had told him; that she had been pregnant once before, that there had been an array of unexpected complications, and that the baby had eventually passed. Aram explained as fast as he could, wanting to get it all out without choking on any of the words, while Stroud occasionally interjected to ask questions but otherwise noted down the relevant details quietly. Liz stared, heartbroken by her suspicions finally becoming reality, at Samar who in turn, avoided her gaze in favour of trying to focus on one drama at a time so she could stay calm.

Having it all roll together, all at once, would be just too overwhelming.  

'Ok,' Stroud said calmly, writing down the last comment on his clipboard, 'Samar, I'm going to go find my assistant, we're going to get all disinfected and robed up, and then I think we're ready to get started. You'll be just fine, don't you worry.' He tucked the clipboard under his arm as he hurried out of the room, and Samar shifted her head across her pillow to face Liz properly.  
'I'm sorry I didn't tell you,' she said quietly, her shoulders drooping miserably. She'd had a hard time trying to figure out how to talk to Liz about her past, but she did at least know that _this_ was not the way she wanted her friend to find out. But, though she was upset by the revelation, Liz was upset not so much from the standpoint of Samar having kept the information to herself, rather she was upset at the fact that it had _happened_ to Samar at all. Liz quickly reached forward to grasp the tangled mess of Samar and Aram's intertwined hands, shaking her head; she knew it was an incredibly personal –and difficult- thing to talk about, and Samar had enough trouble sharing personal details anyway, so had Samar told her earlier, Liz probably would have been surprised.   
'No, it's ok. Let's just focus on Leila for the moment,' her gaze flickered sideways to Aram for a moment, and she let out a cheeky grin, 'because _I'm_ calling dibs on that first cuddle.'

/*/*/*/*

A number of yells, crushed fingers, and not-overly-serious threats to kill Ressler later, Samar cradled her tiny baby against her chest, utterly exhausted but otherwise content. There had been a brief flash of terror when Leila hadn't begun to cry as quickly as expected, but as the few seconds of delay passed and that high pitched wail finally sounded, Samar breathed what was probably the most relieved breath of her life. If Leila could cry properly, that meant she could breathe properly... And if she could breathe properly, then the chances of the past repeating itself decreased significantly. Aram meanwhile, though happy about having stayed in the room, was even happier in hindsight that Liz had kicked him out of her own hospital room four weeks earlier and that he hadn't had to see the process twice.  

Samar hadn't been kidding when she said it was messy.  

Further to Samar's relief, Leila had so far been given a tentative all clear health-wise, but after having been born two and half weeks earlier than expected, she _was_ certainly smaller than the average newborn... And that meant a certain amount of time spent under observation was required, just to be safe. Now finally wrapped in a blanket after Samar had initially held her, little Leila was barely visible. Nonetheless, as all the necessary check ups and tests were completed, and the various medical staff trickled one by one out of the room, Samar hadn't forgotten that there was already a queue for holding her little girl. With a tired but mischievous smile, she glanced at Aram, then Liz, then back again, trying to figure out who had the higher claim.  
'You were the first person after me to hold Sammy,' Liz pointed out, knowing exactly what Samar was thinking.  
'I'm the one that kept getting kicked,' Aram protested. Simultaneously, Samar and Liz both turned their gazes slowly to him, each with one eyebrow raised.   
' _You_ kept getting kicked?' Liz scoffed.   
'I'm sorry, _which_ two of the three of us have been pregnant recently?' Added Samar. Liz nodded quickly in agreement.   
'Aram, you're going to need a better argument than that.' Aram furrowed his brow, trying to think of one.   
'It was my birthday just over a week ago?' He suggested. Aram knew that was a poor effort but in all honesty, he was stumped. Liz tried –and failed- to withhold a chuckle. She and Samar shared quick grins, the latter understanding without any words being necessary, that Liz was conceding defeat out of sheer amusement at Aram's ridiculous choice of reasoning. Samar sat up properly in her hospital bed, leaning forward a little so that she could carefully place Leila in Aram's arms.   
'Ok Aram, happy late birthday,' Liz mused, as Aram took Leila from Samar and gently rocked her in his arms. 'Have a soon to be wriggling, screaming monster.' For a second, Liz's words didn't even register in Aram's mind. He stared down at Leila sleeping soundly, nestled in her fuzzy, pink, hospital blanket. He had been astounded by how seemingly tiny Sammy had been when he had first held her, and yet she was more or less right on the average size and weight for a newborn. Leila, by contrast, was even tinier, at what was easily a full inch shorter, and nearly two pounds lighter.  

Aram hadn't even stopped to consider the idea that an actual human could possibly be that small.  

Overwhelmed by a sudden rush of awe, he stared at the little, blanket-wrapped charge in his arms for a moment longer, before remembering that Liz had in fact, said something. Slowly, Aram glanced up again; both Samar and Liz were looking at him with amused expressions on their faces as they awaited his response.   
'I thought you said I wasn't allowed to call her a little monster,' he murmured, a cheeky grin suddenly creeping across his face. Samar simply shrugged.   
'Liz gets belly buddy privileges.' Liz let out a smirk at Aram's huff of mock annoyance.   
'Seriously?' He asked, raising an eyebrow, 'neither of you two are pregnant anymore. How long is this going to last?'  
'Baby buddy privileges, then,' Liz scoffed, 'they _are_ only four weeks apart now.'

/*/*/*/*

Aram hung up his phone and began to walk back down the hallway towards Samar's room. After he and Liz had each taken their turn cuddling Leila and gushing over how tiny and adorable she was, Liz had eventually conceded that she had probably been away from Sammy far long enough and that it was time for her to leave. No matter how delighted she was by Leila's arrival, Liz had to admit; she missed her own little girl... And as Liz had waved her reluctant goodbye for one day and then headed out the door, Samar had turned to Aram and pointed out that maybe, just maybe, he should call his parents. Aram hadn't yet; he had been too focused on everything else happening during the day, but Samar had a point. They would want to know. Even though they hadn't seen Samar in over a year –well before all the madness began- Aram's parents had quickly accepted the situation and wanted to be supportive... And that was something Samar appreciated. So even though she was nervous about seeing them in person with a new baby in tow, Samar was all for making sure Aram let his parents know that Leila had arrived. With an appreciative smile, Aram had kissed her on the cheek before ducking out into the hallway to make the call, leaving Samar alone with Leila.  

Thoroughly exhausted after her rude, early awakening, and the subsequent many hours of labour, Samar felt a flash of relief at finally having a moment to herself; with the combination of Aram, Liz and all the medical staff, Samar had been surrounded by people all day. Her eyes crinkled and she broke into a weary smile as Leila's eyes flickered open for a few seconds, then closed again. After all the doubts and stress... All the struggling down the winding, messy road to get to this point... All Samar now felt as she held her daughter close –besides exhaustion- was peaceful. Despite her initial reluctance and anxieties, and her continued determination not to let her child –her _healthy_ child- get in the way of her career, as Samar cradled Leila to her chest, she didn't regret for a second having made the impulsive decision to travel that road. Samar leaned back contentedly against the propped up hospital pillows, pressing a gentle kiss to Leila's forehead as she watched her little girl's eyes flicker again. _Yep,_ Samar smiled again as Leila's tiny fingers wrapped around her own, _definitely no regrets..._

Out in the hallway, Aram suddenly stopped in his tracks. He furrowed his brow, staring at the familiar figure hunched over, dozing in one of the uncomfortable, plastic chairs in the corner of the waiting room. _Was that...? Surely, It couldn't be..._ But it was. Aram paused for a second, wondering whether or not to approach, and then deciding yes, he probably should. He turned on the spot, and strode across the room to tap the figure on the shoulder.  
'Ressler...' Aram gently shook his shoulder, and Ressler jumped in his chair, his eyes suddenly snapping wide open at the sight of Aram standing there. 'Have you been waiting out here all day?'  
'No, just the-' Ressler glanced at his watch, and let out a yawn, 'last two hours, nearly three. Your text didn't come through late at night this time, so I was awake and I didn't know how long to wait.'  
'You could have told us you were here...' Aram trailed off. Ressler shook his head vehemently; his usually carefully groomed hair was unbrushed and the longer strands at the top flew back and forth as he did so. Clearly, in the shock and mad rush after receiving Aram’s message, he’d had other priorities this morning.  
'Samar said to treat her and Liz the same, I just wanted to visit after the baby's born.'  
'Actually...' Aram began, letting out a small smile, 'she's a couple of hours old now. I was about to ask Samar if she wanted me to call you.' Aram took a step back as Ressler suddenly stood from his chair, wild eyed.  
'Never mind that,' he said hurriedly, 'are they ok?' Aram quickly nodded, extending one hand and gesturing for Ressler to stay calm.   
'They're both ok,' he tried to reassure Ressler; 'Samar's tired, but fine. Baby's too small to be discharged just yet, seeing as she came early, but she's healthy too. She just has to stay in hospital for a week or two to make sure she's growing, and she can feed and breathe at the same time.' Ressler let out a deep breath of relief, before returning his gaze to Aram from where it had wandered down the hall, absent-mindedly searching for Samar's room.   
'Huh... You've got your work cut out for you, then...' He muttered. Aram furrowed his brow.  
'They're not work,' he said sharply. Ressler took in the determined look now crossing Aram's face, slightly taken aback. Ressler failed to understand what it was that Aram saw in the fierce woman who so rarely ceased to infuriate him, and he certainly felt awkward about the way his co-worker and friend had taken over an apparent parenting role over what was technically _his_ child, but... Even Ressler had to admit, personal feelings aside, he was impressed by the way Aram had stepped up and taken on that kind of responsibility, without once trying to back away. That wasn't something many people did. Ressler tipped his head to Aram in recognition of such, and clapped him on the shoulder.   
'I'm not sure if you're a complete idiot, or a total saint,' he said, letting out a nervous chuckle.   
'Eh, maybe a bit of both,' Aram shrugged his shoulders, before his earlier excited grin suddenly crept its way back across his face; 'do you want to actually visit now?' Ressler paused, hesitating for a moment.   
'...Is Samar going to be ok with that?' In all honesty, his answer was a resound ' _yes_ ,' but Ressler was far too wary of the fact that Samar was probably tired, and that meant her patience for him might be particularly limited.   
'Well...' Aram paused for a second of his own, 'she threatened to wrap her hands around your neck at one particularly painful point, but I think she's fine now.'

Samar looked up expectantly when Aram stepped back into the room.  

'It's just me,' he said gently, 'and, uh... Look who I found in the waiting room.' Ressler stepped warily into the room behind Aram.  
'Hey, please don't murder me,' he said cautiously. Ressler may not have been a fan of Samar's methods sometimes, but even he had to admit; her skills did command a certain degree of respect, _and_ caution. He stared for a moment at the sight in front of him; Samar looked surprisingly small sitting there alone, on the hospital bed, in the middle of the large delivery room. Half her hair was still plastered to the edges of her face, while the other half stuck out wildly after the mammoth effort that was giving birth to a mini human... And she looked so exhausted, Ressler was honestly amazed she was still conscious. It was far from the way Samar usually looked; carrying herself tall and confident, and always so well put together. Samar let out a wry smile.  
'You’re safe for the moment,' she replied drolly.... Or at least; Samar was too overjoyed at the fact that after all her worry, Leila was healthy, to be irritated at Ressler or the pain anymore. Ressler took another couple of steps towards her, holding out a small, brightly coloured gift bag much like the one he had handed Liz a month earlier.   
'Uh, I wasn't sure if I should, but... I wanted to get her something.' Unable to contain himself any longer, Ressler's gaze dropped to the tiny baby in Samar's arms, as he handed her the gift bag.   
'You didn't have to, but thank you,' Samar said earnestly. She peered into the bag, and suddenly had to stop herself from laughing out loud. Carefully holding Leila against her chest with one arm, Samar used her free hand to pull out a stuffed green dinosaur, complete with purple felt spikes that ran all the way down its back and tail... And considering just how small Leila was, the dinosaur was _nearly_ just as big as her too. Samar placed the stuffed creature by her side, so she could cradle Leila properly with both arms again, all the while just managing to catch out of the corner of her eye, shifty glances exchanged between the two men in the room. 'Now, how did you know to get something that matches her room so perfectly?' Samar teased. She looked back and forth between Ressler and Aram, a suspicious but amused expression etched across her face. It was quite clear; Aram must have had something to do with it -it was too much of a coincidence. Ressler shrugged, feigning an expression of total innocence.   
'Lucky guess?' He suggested. Samar quickly turned her attention away without answering as Leila began to fuss. Taking advantage of her momentary distraction, Ressler gave an appreciative nod in Aram's direction, and Aram discreetly nodded back. After finding it surprisingly entertaining to search for something that matched Samantha's room, Ressler had gone straight to Aram for gift advice for Leila so he could do the same again... And Aram, knowing that Ressler was trying to do the right thing, gave him the required information on the proviso that neither of them _ever_ mention the conversation to Samar. But unbeknownst to both Ressler and Aram, Samar still caught the silent communication between them. However, she simply chose not to say anything because she too, understood what they were doing... And rather than being frustrated, she appreciated it. She was glad to see that the complicated situation didn't appear to be driving a wedge between them when in most cases, it would have. Looking up again as Leila's grizzling came to an end, she shot Ressler another quick smile.   
'Sit in the chair,' she instructed him, gesturing at the two chairs by her bedside. Ressler hesitated, wondering what Samar was planning, but otherwise did as instructed. Samar leaned over, reaching forward to carefully place Leila in his arms. Raising his eyebrows in surprise for a moment, Ressler took the tiny bundle of blankets from her, before settling back into his chair, staring awestruck as Leila's eyes flickered yet again.  
'Ressler,' Samar began quietly, 'meet Leila Rose.' Ressler managed to break his gaze in Leila's direction just long enough to let out the most genuine smile at Samar that she had ever seen from him. She simply nodded in response, and Ressler's gaze dropped down again, his mind wandering as he took in the sight of the beautiful baby girl in his arms. It was so difficult, knowing he had made the decision he had… But no matter that decision, Samar wasn’t insisting that he stay away entirely -simply that he stick to his choice. And for the level of contact that did allow him, Ressler was grateful.

Reaching that level of peace with one another was important but finally, they were more or less there... And so it was time for the next phase to begin. After decisions and worries, fights and commitments, baby Leila was finally here, and that for Samar -or _everyone_ , really- would be an _entirely_ new level of adjustment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaand next up; Chapter 24 'Expectations'


	24. Expectations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Tuesday, August 30, 2016.

Samar leaned back tiredly in her chair beside Leila's hospital crib, staring absent-mindedly through the clear wall at her little girl sleeping soundly, and idly reflecting on the last few days. Samar had been discharged from the hospital the very morning after Leila had been born, but her tiny daughter had to stay behind. Not at all content to just leave Leila there alone all the time, Samar had very quickly fallen into the routine of waking up each morning as early as Aram did, heading straight to the hospital at the same time Aram left for work, and then staying there all day. On the first day, Samar had made the observation that –unsurprisingly- Leila was by far the smallest of all the babies on the regular maternity ward, seeing as she wasn't _quite_ premature enough to warrant staying in the neonatal ICU. By the second day, the boredom had kicked in; though there was no way in hell Samar intended to go anywhere else, besides feeding Leila, cuddling Leila, and changing Leila's diapers when required, there really wasn't much of anything to do except sit there twiddling her thumbs until Aram -and any other potential visitors for the day- arrived in the afternoon after work. Liz was right; newborns did nothing much more than eat, sleep, cry and poop. But really, what else had she expected? Besides texting back and forth with Liz and lamenting the difficulties of finding a babysitter, Samar had spent the rest of that afternoon chastising herself for not thinking to bring a book to read.  

By the third day, it was more than apparent that despite being the smallest baby of those kept in the maternity ward for longer than a day or two, Leila was also one of the strongest. Not once had she had any difficulty feeding and breathing at the same time, and her cries were loud enough for one of the nurses to comment that she had a 'real set of lungs' after she accidentally woke the babies in the next two cribs and nearly set off a chain reaction across the entire ward. Needless to say, Samar wasn't offended in the slightest when that same nurse as a result, decided it would be better to move Leila's crib to the end of the room lest the chain reaction happen again; if anything, the nurse's comment, though intended as nothing more than a perfectly casual figure of speech, only served to reassure Samar further still that all risk of the past repeating itself had well and truly dropped to zero.  

Halfway through the fourth day, Samar had been distracted from her book by the voices at the nurses station that she could now hear from her new position at the end of the room, and discovered that each patient on the ward had an unofficial nickname. Samar was pretty sure that such a practice was _not_ within hospital regulations, but that it was probably a pretty standard occurrence anyway. None of the nicknames seemed to be derogatory in the slightest, and so Samar had invented a game for herself; eavesdropping and using her detective skills to try and figure out which nickname belonged to which child. By the fifth day, she had figured out half of them. By the sixth day Samar was completely stir-crazy, and so she roped Aram into her eavesdropping game when he stopped by after work, to try and match the last few nicknames that had her stumped, to their respective patients –Leila included.  

Now the seventh day, exactly a week after Leila was born, and the minimum number of days that she had to stay under observation, Samar was itching to finally take her little girl home.  

Samar gazed at the tiny form next to her, as Leila's eyes slowly flickered open; generally speaking, it was already clear that Leila looked a lot like her -they had the same shape eyes and nose- but in what was quite a pleasant combination of her own dark, golden brown eyes, and Ressler's bright blues, Leila's were almost hazel –mostly brown, but with an ever so slight hint of green that twinkled under the bright hospital lights... And the hair beginning to grow through was mahogany; a dark brown with a mild red-ish tint that undoubtedly came from Ressler's ginger. Without even thinking about it, Samar let out a soft smile at Leila staring back at her, until a sudden wail from the crib jolted Samar from her reflecting, and she hurriedly stood to pick Leila up and gently rub her back. In a low voice, she murmured quietly in Leila's ear, hoping to soothe her. Leila nuzzled into Samar's chest as her cries eased off, and Samar began to rock back and forth on her feet, pressing a soft kiss to Leila's forehead as she did so. Behind her, Aram walked quietly into the room, and then stopped wordlessly as he took in the sight of Samar contentedly rocking Leila in her arms and whispering in her ear. It was certainly a much more peaceful sight than the look of frustrated impatience that had been etched across her face when he had arrived the day before. A grin lit up Aram's face as he started moving towards them again.  
'You look much happier today,' he observed, as Samar happened to glance over her shoulder and see him approaching.   
'You're late,' she shot back, albeit only teasingly, as Aram kissed her cheek. By way of explanation, Aram then gestured to the shopping bag in his hand.  
'I stopped by the store on the way over,' he explained, 'Leila's still too little to fit into the onesies you bought before she was born, so I thought I should pick up a couple of smaller ones.' Aram reached into the shopping bag, pulling out two onesies; a pink and white striped one, and another pink one dotted all over with a daisy print. Samar raised an amused eyebrow.  
'I’m all for cute onesies, but did they have to be pink?'  
'I thought you might say that,' Aram said, before pausing and letting out a cheeky grin, 'but you know, in that small a size, there isn't a whole lot of variety.'  
'If it had to be something girly, was there not at least something purple instead?' She asked, a touch of skepticism creeping into her voice. Aram's grin widened even more, and Samar suddenly realised what she had just said. She opened her mouth to rephrase, but it was too late. The sheer glee on his face said everything; Aram had already taken the question as license to go crazy with the purple theme. Samar gave a tiny shake of the head, and opted not to bother trying to change his mind.   
'I'll keep that in mind,' said Aram, waggling his eyebrows, 'but in the meantime, I do have one more.' Samar shot him a wary glance, as Aram reached into the bag again, and pulled out the last onesie; a white one with dark purple edging, covered in little, green crocodiles. Samar bit her lip, holding back a laugh. 'I couldn't find anything with dinosaurs but I figure, crocodiles are their closest living relative, right?'   
'Here,' Samar said, nodding in response to Aram's question and finally allowing herself to let out a small chuckle, as she swapped baby for onesies with him, 'you take her for a minute.'  
'Aw, just _one_ minute?' Aram half-heartedly teased as he took Leila from Samar's arms. He bowed his head to murmur in Leila's ear, now taking a gentler, but also more weary tone; 'but I've been looking forward to seeing you all day...' Aram glanced up again to shoot Samar a wink, but her only response was to raise one eyebrow in concern; his delight at his shopping trip and subsequent visit was genuine, but it wasn't too difficult for Samar to pick up on the fact that he was using it to mask frustration at something else.   
'Are the agents at the other taskforce still driving you crazy?' She asked.   
'Don't get me started,' Aram sighed. The taskforce he had been temporarily reassigned to was nothing like the close-knit group at the Post Office, and they never took him seriously; Aram was all too eager to get the old band back together, so to speak. Samar let out a dejected sigh of her own.  
'I miss working.'  
'I miss you being at work too, but you still have a few more weeks of maternity leave,' Aram pointed out, a gentle, sympathetic smile crossing his face; they were both so happy, but _so_ tired... And so wanting for everything to get back to normal for each other's sake.  
'Don't remind me... I love her to pieces, but I'm so _bored._ ' Samar leaned against his side, gazing absent-mindedly past his shoulder at Leila; she was far too used to spending her days hunting down the worst of the worst, all day _every_ day... To suddenly stop for weeks on end had left Samar restless. Aram smirked, before dotting a quick kiss to the top of her head; it had only been a week since Leila was born, and ten since Liz's leave had started and the Post Office had shut down. If Samar was this restless already, Aram hated to imagine how badly she would be itching to get back to field work when she was finally allowed to.  
'Well... What happened today?' He asked gently. A touch of pride quickly flashed across Samar's face as she considered the events of the day and finally let out small smile, making Aram curious.  
'A couple of things, actually,' Samar began matter-of-factly, 'I figured out the few remaining nicknames from the nurses station. Guess who's the 'tough, little cookie' apparently?'  
'Yeah?' With an impressed grin of his own, Aram tipped his head to murmur quietly to Leila again. Samar couldn't make out exactly what it was that he was saying, but she couldn't help but let out a small smile at the proud tone in his voice.  
'Mmhmm...' Samar nodded quickly, 'and, as of this morning, she has officially gained the whole pound they said she had to put on before she can go home.' There had been some doubt that Leila would manage to gain the entire pound in under ten days, which only perpetuated how pleased Samar was; it meant that Leila –much like little Shahin in a certain way- truly had surpassed expectations.   
'You're a little champion,' Samar heard Aram stage-whisper to Leila before he glanced up again, his eyes twinkling happily. Samar let out a wry smile.  
'I did say she has a healthy appetite,' she observed drolly.   
'Sounds familiar,' Aram teased, earning himself an eyeroll from Samar. 'Does that mean she gets to go home now?' Samar shook her head and sighed, momentarily disheartened yet again.  
'I asked that too, but sadly, no.' Aram glanced at her quizzically, and Samar continued; 'under normal circumstances, she would be allowed to, but considering my history... She's considered to have a higher risk of breathing problems, so she has to stay here for a couple more days just to be safe.'  
'I _guess_ that's sensible...' Aram admitted reluctantly but even he too, was impatient now for Leila to be allowed to leave the hospital. Samar pulled a face.  
'Leila's fine,' she muttered, a hint of frustration creeping into her voice.   
'Did we just flip-flop on this?' Aram continued to tease. After all his reassurances early on that Leila would be healthy, and Samar's worries to the contrary, Aram couldn't decide whether he was more amused or simply relieved to see that Samar was now the one adamantly insisting that her daughter wasn't at risk of any complications... But either way, it was good to note that the one last remaining stumbling block in recovering Samar's confidence had been successfully kicked away. Shooting him an only mildly exasperated look, Samar paused for a moment, before changing the subject.  
'Tell me something about the taskforce,' she prompted.   
'Wanting a distraction from hospital talk, are you?'  
'Aram,' Samar grumbled.   
'Well,' he said simply, 'while I was at work, my parents called me.' Samar furrowed her brow.  
'You're stalling,' she complained.  
'You know the cases are classified,' he said, shrugging. Samar grumbled some non-committal response under her breath, and all Aram could do was smirk. 'Now you know how I feel when you can't tell me all your Mossad stories,' he added.   
'Mmhmm, and now you know how hard it is to keep those things to yourself, ' Samar teased back, though still narrowing her eyes. She could read him just as easily as he could read her, and Aram's body language screamed it; he was struggling to keep all the simultaneously fascinating and creepy case details to himself when he was so accustomed to the two of them being able to discuss everything. 'It's killing you, isn't it?'   
'I don't know how you do it,' Aram sighed, shaking his head. Samar held back a laugh.   
'And just think, you only have to keep a few months worth of cases to yourself.' By contrast, Samar had _years_ worth of cases that she would never be allowed to share with him. Samar eyed Aram's now drooping shoulders and tiny frown, with a hint of amusement that she kept to herself. Taking pity on his struggle, Samar decided to change the subject once again. 'What did your parents say?' She eventually asked. Aram shot her an appreciative grin. _Finally, something they could talk about..._  
'They suggested that, seeing as this little munchkin won't have much time at home before the Labor Day long weekend, we should delay our visit for a week.'   
'That's thoughtful of them,' she observed, lip twitching slightly.   
'They don't want you to stress,' he remarked. Samar raised an eyebrow.   
'They're ok with us visiting on a normal weekend rather than a long one? That's a whole day less that they'll get to see you,' she cautiously pointed out.   
' _Us_ ,' Aram corrected her, 'they want to see all of us, and they don't expect us to take a three hour drive to spend three days away from home, so soon after all this. That's crazy.' Samar bit her lip; she accepted the fact that she would have to bite the proverbial bullet and visit Aram's parents at some point, but once she was sure that it wasn't going to be an issue, she couldn't deny the inkling of relief she felt at that particular reality at least being delayed by one more week.  
'Ok,' she agreed, letting out a soft smile until another thought suddenly struck and she broke into a grin, 'but you know I'll be driving, right?' Aram rolled his eyes.  
'You expect to drive to the place that I know and you don't?' He asked in mock-exasperation. 'Uh huh, ok. If you say so.'


	25. Trust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Friday-Saturday, September 9-10, 2016.
> 
> If you're still reading at this point, THANK YOU ETERNALLY.  
> This is a crazy story, but it means a lot to know when people are still following along, and comments are always welcome! :)

It had been all of four and a half hours... Four and a half hours since arriving at Aram's parents' home, and Samar was already overwhelmed. Their eagerness to get to know her better, and to cuddle Leila immediately upon arrival was one thing; it went against all Samar's natural inclinations to keep things to herself but considering what Aram was like, it was far from unexpected. The announcement by Aram's mother Mehri, some fifteen minutes later, that she had knitted some baby blankets as a gift wasn't entirely a surprise either. Aram had warned Samar in advance that, once his parents were over their shock at the turn of events over the last few months, the likelihood of them wanting to jump straight into full grandparent mode was probably quite high. They meant well, and the two blankets were actually quite beautiful; they were bright and colourful without being garish, and Samar was amazed by the intricate detail and patterns that Mehri had woven into each one... But it was also a lot to have thrown straight into her face all of fifteen minutes after having arrived at the end of an early morning three hour drive.

Samar appreciated their enthusiasm, but she also needed space to breathe... And for these still semi-strangers to perhaps back off for a minute from her little girl.

Thankfully, Aram had immediately noted his parents' over-enthusiasm as having set off alarm bells and once they had actually managed to get past the entry hall of the house, he had quickly moved to distract them. It hadn't taken too long for everyone to settle down either and once that had happened, they had found themselves chatting relatively calmly in the living room over cups of tea and coffee. Samar had finally managed to relax for a while, and chalk up the earlier barrage at the front door to simple, initial excitement... Until Leila woke up and started happily gurgling, and all the excitement and demand for cuddles started up all over again... And Mehri eventually went on to delightedly suggest that she and Aram's father Naveed, babysit Leila for the evening so that Samar and Aram could go out for a quiet, baby free dinner together. Just as had been the blankets and the cuddles, it was a well intentioned and kind enough gesture, but when they were all rolled together and Samar was already tired, it was all a bit much... Which was why after one very conveniently timed and hungry cry from Leila, Samar had picked her up, escaped the living room and some twenty five minutes later, was now still enjoying the quiet and privacy of one of the spare bedrooms. Half laying back against the propped up pillows on the bed, Samar had paused to sit quietly beside Leila after placing her back in her crib, and breathe for a moment before she had to return to the rest of the house.  
'I am _so_ sorry,' Aram spluttered, bursting through the door and quickly closing it again behind him, before leaning back wearily against it. Samar jumped in response to the sudden movement.  
'Aram, I know they're your parents and they mean well but I _can't_ leave Leila here alone with them-' she said hurriedly as she sat up again, before Aram interjected;  
'-I know-'  
'-I barely know them-'  
'-I know-'  
'-and she's only two and half weeks old-'  
'-I _know_ ,' Aram repeated, more emphatically this time. Samar simply blinked at him, the fact that he already understood her concern –and in fact to a certain degree, even shared it- finally registering in her mind.   
'Oh.'  
'I didn't think they would be so insistent,' he stressed, 'they knew you wouldn't be totally comfortable, and on the phone Mom _promised_ she wouldn't go crazy.' The tension in Samar's shoulders eased a little, and she shot him a reassuring smile; so long as Aram understood that she just needed space to breathe so she could get her head around just _how_ excited his parents were, Samar wasn't _too_ worried.   
'She's very thoughtful...' Samar admitted, 'they both are, but it's a lot all at once.' Aram's lip twitched. He knew all too well that he took after his mother personality-wise; she too, was highly excitable, openly affectionate and wore her heart proudly on her sleeve. Stress aside, it was amusing to see for once, how Samar responded to that when it didn't come from him.   
'I asked her to tone it down a little,' he commented, slowly sitting down on the edge of the bed beside her, 'but I think they got the point when Leila started crying and you practically bounded out of the room in response.'  
'Sorry,' Samar said sheepishly; it probably hadn't been her finest move, but at least they both agreed that it was justified. 'I see where you get your enthusiasm from though,' she added, struggling not to laugh at the fact that Aram genuinely seemed as taken aback by all the commotion as she was. Aram furrowed his brow.  
' _Please_ tell me I'm not that bad,' he groaned. Since he and Samar had arrived that morning, his mom had barely left Samar's side... And his dad, though usually the much quieter of the two, had insisted on eagerly chattering with her nearly just as much. It had taken everything Aram had, to let Samar politely rebuff their most nosy questions as best she could until she managed to escape, rather than jump in and ask his parents to stop talking and actually draw breath for a second. Samar quickly shook her head, holding back a chuckle, and Aram let out a sigh of relief. 'Do you want to go home early? If they're too much, we don't _have_ to stay until tomorrow afternoon. We could leave in the morning instead.' Samar shook her head again, this time adamantly.   
'No. Aram, they're your _parents_ ,' she objected. Samar might have found their apparent willingness to immediately claim her and Leila as part of the family a little too sudden and exuberant for her taste, but she certainly did not fail to understand how important they were to him; she missed her own parents all too much for that... And she couldn't deny that she liked the idea of Leila having some kind of family outside of the Post Office either.  

But after so much time had passed since her parents were killed and Samar had been left to raise herself, she simply wasn't used to having any kind of parental figures around to care about her the way that Aram's parents so dearly cared about him. She knew they were well and truly nice enough people, it just wasn't Samar's nature to trust them as if she had known them for years, at the drop of a hat. Rather, it was an idea she needed to adjust to, and she needed more time than just a couple of hours to get to know them properly.  

'I'm not going to pull you away from them,' Samar continued, 'you see them rarely enough already as it is.'  
'They should calm down soon enough... I swear, they're not normally like this. But, they've been pestering me about grandkids for a while, and this is the first time I've introduced them to someone I’m seeing since I was in college,' Aram rolled his eyes in mock-exasperation before letting out a sigh; 'it's a big deal, apparently.'  
'You know,' Samar began, shooting him a wry smile, 'funnily enough, I did notice that.' Aram ignored her comment in favour of wrapping one arm around her as she shuffled closer to him along the edge of the bed and kissed his cheek. She glanced up at him again, a mischievous grin suddenly working its way across her face. 'Might that be why you don't tend to bring your dates along to meet them?' Aram simply shrugged.  
'I think it's more of a chicken and egg kind of problem,' he observed, winking at her. 'I said no to babysitting tonight, by the way.'   
'Lunch tomorrow instead, perhaps?' Samar suggested nonchalantly. Aram raised an eyebrow, sincerely doubting that one day would be enough for Samar to get to know his parents any better and for her reluctance to subside. She casually tilted her head in response to the look on his face, then let out a sigh. 'They're not _complete_ strangers, I guess... And they raised you, didn't they? How bad could they be?' Aram's lip twitched again, wondering whether she was trying to convince him, or herself, that allowing his parents to watch Leila for a couple of hours wouldn't be a total disaster. Either way, he was relieved to note that despite her initial hesitation and instinct to back away, Samar was _trying_ to push aside her misgivings about his parents for his sake. Aram shifted in his place on the edge of the bed, turning slightly to face Samar where she sat with her arms loosely folded and rested on her knees. He reached across to tuck the loose hair behind her ear, before leaning forward to kiss her properly.  
'Thank you,' he murmured, slowly pulling away again. Samar shot him a quizzical look.  
'For what?' She asked gently.   
'For being patient with them.' Samar shrugged her shoulders, her legs now dangling over the edge of the bed and her hands still toying with the worn, cotton fabric of his shirt as she lingered close to him.   
'You do it every day.'

/*/*/*/*

Cradling Leila in her arms, Samar ambled slow circles around the living room. She squinted at the clock on the wall, the time only just visible in the semi-darkness, courtesy of the one lamp in the corner of the room Samar had turned on; 2:17am. The other lights she had left off, for the very same reason she had taken Leila downstairs to settle her when she woke up and started wailing; so as not to wake the rest of the household all still sleeping upstairs. Now at least, the high pitched wail had reduced to on and off grizzling, but Samar wasn't quite ready to go back to bed yet. After her reprieve from Aram's parents in the middle of the day, they had certainly calmed down a lot –or rather, they maintained their high levels of excitement but tried hard to contain themselves once they realised they had gone overboard- but Samar couldn't deny it was nice to have this brief moment, just herself and Leila, with nobody else gushing the same handful of adoring phrases she heard everywhere, or asking for a cuddle. There was a certain air of tranquillity Samar felt as she quietly hummed to her little girl, the old songs her own mother used to sing to her, despite the fact that she could only remember half the words.  

'Everything ok down here?' Mehri's lightly accented voice came quietly from the entrance to the room. Samar turned on the spot, resisting the urge to sigh at the fact that her moment of peace had just vanished, _again_. She let out a small smile, reminding herself that Aram's parents were lovely people who meant well but were simply over-excited, and she wanted to be patient with them.  
'Yep,' Samar said, quickly nodding, 'I just didn't want to wake anyone.'   
'Ah, I came downstairs for a glass of water and saw the light...' Mehri explained, before trailing off, 'but I'll leave you to it.' She dropped her gaze and turned to duck out back into the hall when, almost as if on cue, Leila began to fuss again, stopping Mehri in her tracks. Samar turned her attention to gently patting Leila's back, trying to soothe her, all the while Mehri furrowed her brow, gazing intently not at Samar or the baby in her arms but rather, the blanket Leila was wrapped in. It was a light purple blanket with green edging, and tiny, wild, red roses running on vines, hand embroidered in rows... But more importantly, it was one of the blankets knitted by Mehri as a gift. Samar glanced up again, realising what Aram's mother was staring at, and the frazzled look on her face softened a little. She had automatically assumed when Mehri appeared in the doorway, that she was there to insist on being helpful again... But that wasn't the case at all. If anything, the normally cheerful, middle-aged woman with flyaway grey hair who was barely as tall as Aram's shoulders, seemed to have paused in the doorway quite reluctantly; as if she desperately wanted to be friendly and chat, but had picked up on Samar's desire to have her moment alone with her daughter... And now Mehri looked disappointed. Samar internally chastised herself; she hadn't wanted to be standoff-ish, she had simply been enjoying her space.   
'It's a beautiful blanket,' she said softly. Mehri's gaze snapped back to Samar, letting out a small smile of her own and taking a few more steps into the room.  
'You said that earlier, but for a moment I thought you were just being polite,' she murmured, finally stopping in front of them. Samar shook her head earnestly.  
'No, I love it... And the other one, too.'  
'I asked Aram for ideas,' Mehri commented, 'he said something about purple and green, but no pink under any circumstances...' She trailed off, glancing quizzically at Samar, who was trying –and failing- to hold back a laugh. _Of course, Aram would pass on the rule about no pink, even though he didn't follow it himself_.   
'The purple and green thing is a long story,' Samar chuckled.   
'He also said something about dinosaurs,' added Mehri, 'but my skills don't quite extend that far, I’m afraid.'  
'No, I like the roses. They're gorgeous...' Samar paused, shooting Mehri another small smile before glancing back down at Leila, 'and very appropriate.'  
'He mentioned that was her middle name.' Samar let out a slow, wistful nod.  
'After my mother,' she said quietly, after another brief pause, 'her name was Nasrin.'  
'Was?' Mehri furrowed her brow in concern, and Samar hesitated before continuing.   
'My uh, parents... They passed when I was twelve.' Mehri dropped her gaze for a moment as Samar gritted her teeth, already aware from what Aram had said over the phone, that Samar wasn't always comfortable sharing personal things. Mehri gave her that moment, waiting for the sound of Samar taking in and slowly letting out a deep breath, before glancing up again and gently patting her arm.   
'I'm sorry...' Mehri slowly trailed off, 'Aram didn't tell me that part.' Samar gave a short, appreciative nod, still not entirely comfortable with the idea of people –especially those she didn't know well- acting so sympathetically towards her, but understanding the intent nonetheless.   
'It's ok. I miss her... A lot. But it's ok.' Silence filled the room for a minute, both women now shifting their gazes to Leila rather than alternating between staring at each other and awkwardly avoiding each other's gaze.  

'It really has been a crazy few months,' Samar finally observed, letting out a sigh. Mehri's lip quirked up slightly at that, knowing it was an understatement.   
'So I've heard,' she paused again, before a more thoughtful expression crossed her face. 'Samar, I know you're cautious about trusting other people... And I probably have been a little over-enthusiastic today too,' Mehri grinned guiltily in Leila's direction for a second, 'but I really would like for us to get to know each other better.' Samar nodded quickly in agreement.  
'Me too.'  
'And I guess she's not _technically_ my granddaughter,' Mehri continued in her sudden rambling, 'but, Aram absolutely adores you... And the little one too.' Samar's eyes crinkled, pleased but slightly embarrassed by the observation, and hurriedly shifted her gaze back to Leila.   
'I know...' She murmured simply.   
'A step-grandchild is close enough, right?' Mehri asked thoughtfully. Samar gave another nod of agreement.  
'I'd say your step-grandchild loves her blanket too, look,' Samar tilted her head, gesturing at the bundle in her arms. Leila wasn't yet asleep again, but she had finally stopped grizzling and instead nestled into the blanket, with one little hand peeking out and curled tightly around the green edging of the blanket. Mehri grinned, instinctively reaching forward just enough to tuck Leila's tiny fingers back under the blanket, and for once Samar didn't feel the need to object.   
'She's so precious,' Mehri observed, 'you know, once upon a time, Aram used to be just as cute as Leila.' Grinning mischievously, she pointed out childhood photo of Aram that sat proudly on the mantel, then dramatically shook her head. 'I don't know what happened...' She mock sighed. Samar glanced at the old photo of Aram –he probably would have been about four or five, and his hair stuck out even more wildly than it did currently- and couldn't help but let out a laugh. Aram had warned her that his mother had the same sort of dry, teasing sense of humour that she did, but this was the first instance Samar had witnessed it.   
'Has he always been such a messy eater?' She asked, still chuckling.  
'Ugh, always...' Mehri said, rolling her eyes and making Samar only laugh more so. 'Ever since I first gave him spaghetti when he was a toddler. The sauce went _everywhere._ '

/*/*/*/*

Finally placing a sleeping Leila back in her crib, Samar breathed a happy, relieved sigh as she then turned to clamber back into bed; her conversation downstairs with Mehri had done a lot to break down the anxious barriers she had put up upon arrival –and apparently calm down Mehri too. Samar took one step towards the edge of the bed, when a light flashing from her phone on the nightstand caught her attention; two new messages, both from Liz.   
' _How was the drive east?_ ' Read the first, quickly followed by; ' _oh it's nearly 3am, sorry if I woke you._ ' Samar furrowed her brow as she read over the two messages again, wondering why on earth Liz was awake at such an ungodly hour... Before pausing and realising that she too, was awake at the very same ridiculous time. Samar shook her head in amused exasperation; Liz had been right about them being baby buddies.  
' _Actually I'm awake too_ ,' Samar quickly tapped out in response, ' _Sammy not sleeping again?_ '  
' _No, she generally sleeps quite well. I was just hungry,_ ' came Liz's quick reply. Samar frowned again, knowing that Liz had been absolutely exhausted for weeks now... _And who, besides babies, woke up hungry at three in the morning?_ None of it made sense. She began to type out a follow up question, until another message from Liz came through, stopping her; ' _anyway, I might try and get some sleep now. You should too. Good night,_ ' it read, followed by a smiley face. Samar quickly deleted her follow up question as she read it.  
' _Ok, good night,_ ' she sent instead. That was odd too; Liz was normally the chatty one when they texted and now there she was, the one who quickly left the conversation as soon as it started. Samar stared at the phone for a minute, making sure that no other messages came through, before finally placing it back on the nightstand and curling up under the bedcovers. She bit her lip, still running the conversation over and over in her mind as she closed her eyes, and eventually resolving to herself to keep a closer eye on her friend once she returned to DC. Liz was acting strangely, and Samar didn't like it one bit. But, despite how suspicious Liz had been about her past, she had trusted that Samar would talk to her about it when she was ready, and known not to push... So though now equally suspicious that Liz was hiding behind a mask to try and convince not just the world, but herself as well, that she was ok, Samar wanted desperately to trust that Liz would tell her if something was wrong.

But as Aram, in his sleep, rolled over and wrapped his arms around her and Samar contentedly curled into them, she seriously started to wonder if Liz would ever actually say anything at all...

/*/*/*/*

Samar crept quietly down the stairs, heading towards the kitchen. She peeked her head around the corner of the wall, barely managing to suppress a chuckle as she took in the sight in front of her. There was Aram, with his back to her, bopping around the kitchen to whatever tune it was that he was humming wildly off key as he made coffee.  
'Good morning,' Samar said softly as she tiptoed up behind him, a mischievous grin quickly spreading across her face. Aram jumped, suddenly twisting awkwardly around on the spot to see her standing there just inches from him.  
'Hey,' he murmured, 'I thought you were still sleeping... I was going to bring you coffee.' Samar eyed the two mugs sitting on the counter next to the coffee machine, before taking the last half step towards him, sliding her hands over his shoulders and interlocking her fingers.  
'I see that,' she whispered. Subconsciously, Aram glanced quickly around the room to make sure they were alone, before focusing his gaze intently back on Samar and her flirtatious smile, a grin of his own now quite happily creeping across his face.   
'Little one still asleep?'  
'Mmhmm...' Samar hummed. Aram wound his arms around her as she leaned in to kiss him, tugging at the edges of her sweater and pulling her in close. The soft fabric of her sweater bunched up in his fingers and he sighed blissfully as she leaned into him, and-

'Oh,' came Mehri's voice in surprise, as she and Naveed stepped into the kitchen then suddenly stopped. She bit her lip, struggling to hold back a laugh, 'don't mind us.' Aram hurriedly pulled away from Samar, took one look at the matching amused smirks on both his parents' faces and then out of sheer embarrassment, raised his eyes to the ceiling, shaking his head.   
'Oh no,' he groaned. Samar held back a smirk of her own, waiting for Aram's blush to pass. She wasn't at all fazed by the sudden intrusion –it was only a kiss, after all- and as she stole another glance at Aram's parents still standing in the entrance to the kitchen, she noted that they didn't seem at all fazed either.  

Aram however, was apparently mortified... And _that_ was what made it so funny for the rest of them.  

'About time,' Naveed muttered under his breath, earning himself a gentle swat across the shoulder from his wife. Aram continued his awkward staring at _anything_ in the room that wasn't laughing at him, and Mehri suddenly did a double take -tugging on Naveed's arm to grasp his attention as another thought popped into mind.   
'Is this one of those things they warned us about when he was a teenager, that never ended up happening?' She stage whispered to him. Aram sighed in exasperation, shaking his head again and knowing that much like Samar, once his mother found herself an amusing situation, she always had to have her fun with it. Naveed's lip twitched in response, and Samar's attempts to keep a straight face for Aram's sake were now seriously failing.   
'Late bloomer, Aram?' She teased, glancing back at him oh-so-innocently.   
'You're _so_ not helping,' he grumbled. His mother and Samar ganging up on him couldn't possibly end well.   
'Aram, I know we're excited about Leila, but I think one grandchild is enough for the moment,' Mehri deadpanned. Samar suddenly turned away, clasping one hand over her mouth so as not to burst out laughing, and Naveed just rolled his eyes.   
'It was just a kiss!' Aram complained. Everyone else in the room pulled a face –Naveed and Samar both smirking, and Mehri snorting with laughter.   
'Exactly,' Samar said, chuckling as she simultaneously patted his arm and shot him a mischievous grin. Aram sighed in exasperation as he realised what precisely, was so funny; not the fact that his parents had walked in on him kissing his girlfriend –a completely sweet and innocent gesture- but the fact that though in his late thirties, he was still embarrassed by it.  

The sound of Leila waking up and starting to fuss upstairs, nearly made Aram jump... Out of sheer relief.

'Your turn?' Samar prompted gently, as her laughter finally came to an end. She rested her hand against his cheek, letting out a slow shake of her head but smiling softly at him all the same. They'd had their fun with him now, and Samar could recognise the need to offer him an escape. Aram took one look at his still smirking parents, then shot Samar an appreciative smile of his own.  
'Yes, _please_ ,' he said, nodding quickly. Samar took a step to the side so he could hurry past her, Aram only stopping as he reached the end of the kitchen and Naveed clapped him on the shoulder.  
'Never try to outdo them,' the older man commented, albeit jokingly, 'it'll be over quicker that way.' Aram turned away from his father for a second to shoot Samar a knowing look, before nodding his agreement.  
'Oh, I know,' he said, 'trust me, I know.'

/*/*/*/*

Aram took Samar's hand in his as they slowly made their way, strolling past the park in the centre of town. After seeing how much calmer his parents were that morning, and her conversation with Mehri overnight, Samar had suggested once again to Aram that they take up the offer of babysitting so they could go out for lunch... And she was glad that she had. It wasn't a fancy meal by any means but rather, a stroll down to Aram's favourite diner in town that he had frequented regularly as a teenager, for some good old fashioned, homemade soup and grilled sandwiches. Nonetheless, as they finished up their very simple, but thoroughly tasty lunch -and of course, shared a sundae for dessert- Samar couldn’t wipe the smile from her face. It was just nice to have that moment, just the two of them, enjoying the simplest of pleasures... And as they wandered through the town, taking the long way back to Aram's parents place so that he could show her the sights and regale her with anecdotes of his childhood and adolescent shenanigans, Samar listened eagerly. It was all so very different to her own childhood, and it only made her more determined for Leila to have a normal life... Rather than being orphaned at a young age and then hunted by the government while in the pursuit of justice and vengeance, only to be forced to defect to another country entirely.

Aram gently tugged on her hand, pulling her along with him off the footpath and onto the grass.  
'Where are we going now?' Samar asked, curiously eyeing the glee on his face that had more or less been plastered there all afternoon.  
'To the swings,' he said simply, pointing out the old, rickety swing set at the other end of the park. Samar rolled her eyes in amusement.  
'What are we, five years old?' Aram ignored the question, opting to tug on her hand again instead.  
'Come on, humour me,' he prompted. Samar followed him towards the swing set, her lip quirking up as Aram promptly sat himself down on one of the swings. Samar was amazed he could even fit on the swing, let alone the fact it could support the weight of a tall, fully grown man. Aram gestured towards the swing next to his, grinning in delight. With a small shake of her head, Samar perched on the other swing.  
'Happy now?' She asked, albeit teasingly. Aram nodded happily.  
'Everyone loves these swings,' he said, matter of factly, 'why do you think they're right in the centre of town?'  
'Because that's where the park is?' Samar chuckled. Aram huffed in mock annoyance.  
'Don't ruin my fun with your logic. I used to love this park as a kid.' He slid his foot across the sand, sweeping Samar's feet up from where they sat firmly on the ground so that her swing started to move ever so slightly back and forth.  
'Hey!' Samar shot him a look, before slowly swinging her legs to move the swing properly, 'I know how to swing myself, I didn't have a completely deprived childhood, you know.' Aram simply shrugged, desperately trying to keep a straight face at the sight of Samar swinging to and fro, her curly hair flickering wildly behind her as she practically flew through the air, and her face contorted in a stubborn attempt not to look like she was entertained by the whole, ridiculous scenario.  
'Just checking,' he chirped, 'I mean, if you never had a banana split until the beginning of this year, how am I supposed to know?' Samar shot a withering look in his direction, rolling her eyes at the teasing expression now stretched across his face from ear to ear.  
'At the house I grew up in before my parents died, there was this huge tree in the garden,' she explained, momentarily irked by the fact she couldn't quite remember what _kind_ of tree specifically, but otherwise unfazed, 'my father made a tyre swing to hang from it...' Samar paused suddenly, her swinging legs slowing and eventually stopping as she dropped her gaze and stared wistfully at the sand below her feet. 'When I was little, he used swing on it with me every morning.' Aram’s cheery grin vanished as his face crumpled, crestfallen. He reached across from his swing to clasp Samar's hand, still holding on tightly to the ropes supporting her own swing. She looked up sharply, shaking the memory from her mind and blinking back the tears beginning to well up in her eyes.   
'Do you want to start heading back now?' Aram asked quietly. Samar nodded, and Aram rose from the swing set, taking both her hands and pulling her up. He wrapped one arm around her shoulders as they slowly trailed back across the grass, then quickly did a double take -a small, playful grin tugging at his lips. In one quick flourish he turned, dropping both hands to her waist and quickly twirling her around on the spot. Aram gently set her back on her feet again after one spin –that was enough- then pulled her in close, pressing a kiss to her forehead.  
'What was that for?' She asked, unable to stop herself from suddenly laughing again. Aram simply went back to her side, taking her hand in his, and continued across the grass.  
'It made you smile,' he mused. Samar glanced at him beside her, smiling softly as she then leaned her head against his shoulder. 'And you know what,' Aram added quietly, pausing only to dot another kiss to the top of her head, 'when Leila's a bit bigger, we can take her to the park and you can swing with her like your dad used to swing with you... I think she'd love that.'

/*/*/*/*

'Aram, you're going to look after this one, right?' Mehri raised an eyebrow as she glanced at Aram, 'I like her, make sure she comes back.' Samar's lip twitched in amusement, but Aram rolled his eyes at the sky and let out a sigh. Now later in the afternoon, and with all their things packed into the car, Samar and Aram stood outside the house saying goodbye to his parents, just about ready to leave. In hindsight, Samar was glad that she had opted to stay when Aram suggested they leave early; despite her initial hesitations, the weekend had turned out to be quite enjoyable after all.  
'Mom...' Aram groaned, 'Samar can take care of herself.'   
'True,' Mehri shifted her gaze to Samar, trying and failing to suppress a knowing grin as she tilted her head to gesture at Aram, 'Samar, you're going to look after him, right?'  
'Mom...' Aram sighed again, shaking his head in exasperation.   
'Aram, you can barely grill a sandwich without burning it,' Samar pointed out, raising an eyebrow –albeit only teasingly. She turned back to Mehri, nodding in mock seriousness, 'don't worry, I have it covered.' Aram simply rolled his eyes again in response, reaching out to take Leila from the grasp of his parents' last minute cuddles so that he could move her over to the car.  
'I'm going to miss you, little Leila,' Mehri murmured wistfully, dotting one last kiss to those adorable baby cheeks, before slowly -and reluctantly- handing her over. Naveed stood beside them quietly smiling as he always did, having already said goodbye to Leila, but he gently waved his hand goodbye to her over his wife's shoulder nonetheless -the fact that Leila herself wouldn't have understood the gesture at all, not even registering in anyone's minds. Mehri stepped forward to pull Aram, then Samar, each into a hug. 

'You should visit some time,' Samar suddenly suggested as she broke away from Mehri's embrace, and glanced thoughtfully at Aram. He grinned at the sudden outburst, exchanging looks of delight with his mother, just as Samar's face fell; she had gotten ahead of herself. Samar turned to Aram, momentarily annoyed at herself for becoming too excited; 'oh, we don't have a spare room now...' She trailed off. She was so used to having a second bedroom at her apartment, that she could offer to visiting friends... But of course, now that room was Leila's. Mehri patted her arm, not at all fazed.   
'Aram's apartment didn't have one either,' she mused, shrugging her shoulders. 'We'll do what we do every time we stop by DC... Go to a hotel.' Samar furrowed her brow, not at all convinced by the idea.   
'Hold on,' began Aram, spotting the dejected look on Samar's face. He was so pleased that she and his parents had gotten along so well after the initial disaster that was their arrival the day before, he certainly didn't want to see any of them disappointed again now... And he had just the right idea to make sure that was the case. 'My apartment is still leased until the end of the year, and it's not far from Samar's place either,’ he quickly pointed out, 'you could stay there, why don't you come for Thanksgiving?' He shot Samar a wary glance just as both his parents' faces lit up with delight, suddenly thinking that Thanksgiving might have been one step too far, but Samar simply nodded her agreement.

One last round of hugs was quickly exchanged back and forth across the group, as Samar, Aram and Leila finally made their departure. Mehri and Naveed stood on the driveway, waving goodbye as the car slowly drove away.  
'I'm glad we decided to stay,' Aram murmured as the car approached the corner. Samar let out a soft smile, observing the two waving figures growing smaller in the distance through the window, and her little girl sleeping peacefully in the baby seat in the back of the car. She glanced at Aram by her side.  
'Me too.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Never fear! If you're missing Ressler at the moment, don't worry. He'll be back. This *is* a predominantly Samar story, but her and Ressler's lives are forever intertwined now that they have a child. Just be patient, and as it goes on you'll see why he disappeared for a while -well, besides the fact that I had to do a 'meet the parents' chapter, and progress Samar's story with the other characters as well. 
> 
> Next up though; 'Sisterhood'. Fair warning; I have tried to approach the subject matter delicately and respectfully, but that one might still be difficult for some people. When that chapter is posted, I'll include a more thorough warning at the top, and a summary at the end for anyone to skip to if they don't want to read the whole thing.


	26. Sisterhood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Wednesday, September 14, 2016.
> 
> Ok, as said at the end of the last chapter; this one may be difficult for some people. To be specific, it broaches the subject of Depression. I have tried to approach it as delicately and respectfully as I can, while still keeping it in character. As such, it wasn't the easiest thing to write, but allow me to say straight up; though I personally think I managed to depict it respectfully and delicately enough, on the off chance that it is a trigger, or anyone is still upset or offended, please know and understand that wasn't my intention in the slightest, and you have my sincerest apologies. 
> 
> If this sounds like something you don't want to read, but you do want to continue with the story, you are absolutely most welcome to skip either to the next chapter, or to the notes section at the end, where I will do a short summary so you don't miss any key story points.

The look on Samar's face quickly fell as Liz opened her front door. Liz smiled warmly, but Samar was too focused on the sight in front of her to return the gesture; Liz looked absolutely exhausted, to the point where her bright blue eyes were not only puffy, but surrounded by huge, dark circles as well. Her hair was so messy, that it looked like it hadn't been brushed in at least three days and on Liz's shirt there were the dried remains of what appeared to be oatmeal, splattered _everywhere_. In short, despite her smile, Liz looked an absolute mess, and if there weren't alarm bells ringing in Samar's mind already, there definitely were now. It was a stark difference to the mere 'new mom tiredness' Liz had claimed a few weeks earlier –or even just the few days earlier when Samar saw her before leaving for Delaware.  
'Hi,' Liz said brightly, blatantly ignoring the concerned expression on Samar's face. She pulled Samar into a hug and then upon letting go, hurried down the hall, gesturing for Samar to follow her inside, all before Samar could even try to stop and address what was going on. 'We have to keep our voices down, Sammy's sleeping. But otherwise... What's new with you?' Liz quickly asked, before Samar could get a word in edgewise, 'I feel like I haven't seen you guys in ages.' Liz turned again, peeking into Leila's pram and grinning at the tiny, sleeping baby. Samar furrowed her brow for a moment, but otherwise decided to let Liz lead the conversation. Clearly, she was trying to avoid discussing the obvious elephant in the room, so Samar was content to let her have her way for a while... So long as they came back to it at some point.  
'It's only been a few days,' Samar mused.  
'I know...' Liz sighed, suddenly miserable, 'but when it's just me and Sammy around here, you guys all go away for the weekend, and even Ressler and Cooper are too busy working to visit, a few days feels like an _eternity_.' Samar briefly raised an eyebrow at that particular revelation, but opted not to interject. Liz's lip quickly quirked up again. 'How were Aram's parents? Was it as awkward as you thought it would be? Were they adorable with Leila?' She ended her rapid fire series of questions, dropping lazily onto the couch. Samar followed her lead once again, parking the pram that encompassed the soundly sleeping Leila beside her, then taking her own place on the couch and filling Liz in on all the happenings of the weekend spent with Aram's parents.  

'What about you guys?' Samar eventually asked, once Liz's laughter at the tale of Aram's embarrassment in his parents' kitchen, came to an end.  
'I started thinking...' Liz began slowly, 'about doing something crazy.' Samar did a double take in alarm.  
' _What_ , exactly?' She asked hurriedly. Liz grinned good naturedly before responding.  
'Adopting a second child,' she hummed, her voice bubbling with delight at the very idea.  
'But Liz, you've only just had Sammy...' Samar trailed off, cautiously observing her friend. Liz barely seemed to be coping with one, let alone a _second_ child. It only made Samar even more anxious in regards to the question of whether or not to bring it up. Not sleeping properly, odd eating patterns, being continuously up and down with her moods, feeling lonely and beginning to withdraw from social situations... And now, apparently Liz wasn't bothering to take proper care of herself in general either. It wasn't just normal new mom tiredness, and Samar was sure of it. Having lost someone she cared about and suddenly finding herself alone, not to mention the recent traumas of being on the run from the Cabal, then returning to a dangerous job... Liz fit far too many of the criteria for it all to be a coincidence.

Liz was starting to struggle... But unsurprisingly, she also seemed to be completely in denial.

'I know. I don't mean adopting another baby _right now_...' Liz countered, rolling her eyes. 'But, if I do have another kid, I want them to be reasonably close in age, and adoption is a long process. Not to mention, I'm a single parent _and_ a convicted felon now, not just someone with a dangerous job. That makes the process even longer... I don't even know if I'm _allowed_ to adopt, with my record. I might need to have it expunged first, and that takes even more time.' She sighed, the brief flash of happiness now gone, only to be replaced by exasperation at the potential for disappointment. Samar bit her lip, opting to just roll with Liz's train of thought for at least a little while longer, but her mind was still anxiously wandering elsewhere.  
'So if you want them to be close in age, you need to start thinking now...' She observed. Liz gave a quick nod.  
'Yeah, basically...' Liz trailed off, her bottom lip wobbling for a second as her gaze dropped to the floor. 'But like I said... I don't know if I'm even allowed to adopt, so I'm probably just setting myself up for disappointment too... All I ever wanted was to adopt and don't get me wrong, I love Sammy but...'  
'...Having a biological child doesn't make that dream go away,' Samar quietly finished for her. Liz nodded sadly.  
'I want _both_ now. I want a family and the more I think about it, the more I love the idea of Sammy being a big sister... And yet, that might never happen.' The room went quiet as Liz trailed off miserably, and Samar took that as her cue to step in and have the conversation she had worried about for the last few days. Samar bit her lip, cautiously eyeing her friend's absent-minded gaze wandering aimlessly around the room, before taking a breath.  
'Liz, can I ask... Are you ok?' Liz's gaze shifted sharply back to her,   
'I'm fine.' She said just a little too quickly, but Samar noted that there was a determined edge to her voice. 'Why do you ask?'   
'You don't seem fine,' Samar pressed on, albeit gently. Liz shook her head dismissively.  
'I'm just tired.'  
'No, I don't think that's it.' Samar shot her a sympathetic, but knowing look. It was all that Liz needed to understand that no matter how much she tried to hide it, Samar knew what was going on... That her façade of trying to seem ok for the sake of everyone else around her, was cracking at the edges. She dropped her gaze, staring miserably again at the floorboards.   
'Things might be a little harder than I expected...' It was a reluctant, and eerily quiet admission, and Liz glanced up again curiously when Samar didn't respond. She eyed the patient, concerned look on Samar's face and let out a small sigh. 'Ok, things are a _lot_ harder than I expected.' Samar reached forward for Liz's hand, taking it in her own and giving it a small squeeze.   
'How long has this been going on?' She asked simply. Liz bit her lip, barely managing to hold it together.   
'...A little while. I was so hopeful that Tom would come back...' Liz trailed off as her voice began to shake, 'and then I was there in that delivery room, and he wasn't there, and it really hit me; and now I have this new baby, and I just _don't_ know what to do...' She stopped, just for the second needed to draw breath after it all ran together, and the tears welling up in her eyes began to start slipping down her cheeks, 'and I'm completely alone...' A breath caught in Samar's throat, remembering the exact moment she herself, had said those same four words to Aram so many months earlier.   
'No, you're not,' she said sharply. 'You have me... You have Aram, and Ressler, and Cooper, and everyone else at the taskforce. Reddington, even. We may not all get along all the time, but we all care about _you_ .'  
'But what if something happens to me?' Liz protested. Samar furrowed her brow in concern as Liz continued desperately; 'it was so easy for the Cabal to set me up, and look how long it took prove I was innocent. If something else happens... What about Sammy? I was trying to write my will the other day and I just... I didn't know what to say.'  
'Liz, it's ultimately up to you to decide who should look after her if anything ever happened,' said Samar softly, 'but I think I can say quite easily; _none_ of us would ever let anything bad happen to her. No matter who you leave her to, we would all make sure she was ok... And if you do end up adopting another child, I'd say the same about them too.' Liz took a breath, letting out an appreciative, but only mildly reassured nod. She paused, every single one of her worries now swirling around anxiously in her mind. Samar waited patiently for Liz to process it all. Fearfully, Liz locked eyes with her... And Samar held her gaze -not at all upset or judging, but simply in understanding.

And then Liz let it all out.

'Samar, I'm scared,' she blurted out. 'It's just all so overwhelming. I have nothing to do, and it's like I'm trapped here... Stuck feeling so alone, and useless and left to my own thoughts.'  
'I know.'  
'I'm so anxious, I can't sleep properly,' Samar's face crumpled, having long suspected as much already, but didn't interject, 'and then I'm so tired, it takes all my concentration just to look after Sammy... But all I want to do is sleep, and I get so annoyed when she wakes up even though she sleeps so well, because it's always _right_ when I finally manage to doze off, and then I feel so _guilty_. She's just a _baby,_ Samar. She's only seven weeks old, and I'm _annoyed_ at her.' Liz began to sob, distressed but also angry at herself. All she had ever wanted was a normal family, and at every moment where she thought she might finally have a chance, it had somehow backfired. Nothing had ever gone as planned, from the original adoption she had planned with Tom and then backed out of during her early days at the taskforce, all the way to now –she had an unexpected, but beautiful little girl that she loved with everything she had, but the circumstances felt so wrong... And then there were her worries, which were all over the place; she was finding it difficult being alone with one child and yet, all she wanted was another. The fact that none of it made any logical sense, only made her feel worse. Liz tried to wipe away the tears on her face with the back of her hand. 'You must think I'm crazy,' she finally sniffled. Samar shook her head, her heart aching at the sight of her best friend so upset. With her spare hand, she reached for the tissue box on the coffee table, and set the entire box down between them on the couch.  
'No Liz,' she said slowly, 'if I judged you for this, even for a second... I'm pretty sure I'd be the biggest hypocrite on earth.' Liz glanced back at her in confusion, and Samar took another deep breath. She hadn't initially shared her past with Liz even though in hindsight, Samar now wished she had. She didn't like talking about her own feelings, but she was quickly learning that sometimes it was necessary... And in a moment like this, she needed Liz to know just how well she understood. 'Listen, I spent so much of my life angry at the world for taking everything from me...' Samar began, 'my parents, my brother... My son... Even my country. It tore me apart. It's not the exact same situation, but it's the same kind of pain. It doesn't make you crazy, or weak even... Not in the slightest. It just means you're having a hard time, but Liz... _That's ok_. Those feelings are all-consuming, they can destroy even the strongest of people. But there comes a point where you're forced to choose, between letting it destroy you... Or fighting back. It's not easy, but you _can't_ let it control you. I remember it all too vividly to let someone I care about go through what I did. I didn't deal with it properly for a _long_ time, but _you_ can now. I don't want to see it pull you apart like it did me, and Liz... I really don't think you do either. You love Sammy _so_ much, and you're already talking about adopting a second child.' Liz simply stared at her in shock, as Samar's pleading with her slowly came to its end.  

Liz was struggling, there was no denying it... But she was also still trying to think ahead, and consider the future. She had started on the downward slide, but she hadn't yet hit rock bottom, and that was precisely why Samar was wanting to intervene so early; to get on top of it all, before things deteriorated any further, and got out of control. In hindsight, Samar had allowed her own problems to get the better of her far more than she would have wanted... And had she been able to face them earlier, it would have made getting through them so much easier. That was what she wanted for Liz.  

Liz was still hopeful, and Samar knew she was well and truly strong enough to fight back... But it was a matter of convincing her to try.

Samar was amazed that Liz could be thinking so far ahead to possibly adopting a second child, when she was already struggling with one, but it was clear how much Liz wanted that future –and if there was any goal Liz could look towards, to help her through it all, that might just be it. She handed Liz another tissue, just as the silence was suddenly broken by the sound of a high-pitched wail from Sammy's room. Liz sighed, but shot Samar a small, watery smile all the same as she rose from the couch and ducked out of the room to take Sammy from her crib. Almost as if suddenly emerging from nowhere, Hudson followed at Liz's heels when she returned to the living room with Sammy in her arms. Having picked up on her stress, he had shied away from her on and off for a while and instead stayed by Sammy's crib, almost as if standing guard... But now the golden brown ball of fluff jumped up on to the couch next to Liz, nestling into the gap on the couch cushions between her and Samar. Little Sammy slowly began to settle as Liz gently rocked her back and forth, and Samar leaned in closer beside them to quietly murmur to Sammy, and hold her tiny hand.   
'Hey look, she's smiling,' Samar exclaimed, all of a sudden. Sure enough, when Liz glanced down, there was a small, wobbly smile.   
'Oh yeah, that started up a few days ago...' Samar did a double-take; Liz had forgotten to mention that particular milestone before now. 'And watch this,' Liz added, a small grin of her own now creeping across her face. She gently tickled Sammy's belly and instantly, her little girl began to laugh. It was a gurgle-like laugh, but an adorable, happy one all the same, and Samar's face lit up in delight at the sound of it. An almost silence fell between them again, the only noises being Samar's nonsense talk to Sammy, and Sammy's little gurgle laughs. Liz watched them pensively, feeling reassured by Samar being there with her, and having let it all off her chest. With her free hand, she tousled Hudson's soft fur as well, and felt suddenly overwhelmed by having them all there around her. Liz's lip began to tremble again, but as she continued listening to those happy, little laughs, she knew Samar was right; no matter how absolutely awful she felt right now, she didn't want to let those feelings take over entirely.  

'Ok, so...' Liz paused to take a deep breath, 'what do I do now?' Samar glanced up again, eyeing the nervous determination on Liz's face.  
'I'm really not the expert there...' She admitted warily, 'but how about we start by finding you a clean t-shirt?' Liz let out a small chuckle.  
'I think I can manage that.'  
'And stop beating yourself up.'  
'That might be a little more difficult.'  
'I'll help,' Samar said simply. 'And why don't you look into joining some kind of moms group? You said ages ago that you wanted to.' Liz raised a cautious eyebrow.  
'I also said there's not a moms group anywhere that wouldn't raise an eyebrow at the fugitive they saw on tv for so long, suddenly turning up.'  
'What if I go with you?' Samar suggested, after a brief pause. Liz quickly shook her head.  
'You didn't want to join a moms group, you said that in the same conversation.'  
'True...' Samar conceded, 'but maybe it won't be so bad for either of us if we go together.' She tilted her head, wordlessly imploring Liz to let her help. They were only baby steps –Samar knew Liz would need more than that to get things back on track, but that was a little out of her field of expertise. This, at least, was a start. Liz dropped her gaze just for a second, considering the idea, before glancing back at Samar still staring at her and waiting for a response.   
'What did I do to deserve you looking out for me like this?' She asked, shaking her head in disbelief. Samar let out a wry smile.  
'I ask myself every day what I did to deserve you and Aram looking out for me just as much... I still have no answer. But I'm glad I do.'  
'You know,' Liz began, her lip quirking up, 'when I said we were belly buddies, this isn't what I thought would happen.' Samar simply shrugged.  
'I did say we would stick together... And I meant it.'  
'Have I mentioned that I kind of love you, Samar?' Liz laughed, amused by her friend's stubbornness but nonetheless grateful for it.  
'No,' Samar rolled her eyes, albeit only teasingly, 'but I think it's been implied enough. Did I mention that I kind of love you too?' Liz grinned; it wasn't often that she managed to draw Samar out of her usual stoicism.  
'No... But I think it's been implied enough,' she continued to laugh, 'am I being completely ridiculous?'  
'Not at all,' Samar said, shaking her head. Liz shot her a look, and Samar very quickly rolled her eyes again. 'Ok, maybe a _little_. But who cares?' Liz brushed away the last of the half-dried tears on her cheeks.  
'Does that mean we can watch some trashy movies now?' She asked quietly. Samar bit her lip to hold back a laugh before responding.   
'Well... I have all day. So, yes. Bring it on.'

Samar took Sammy into her arms, as Liz rose once again from the couch to start rifling through her collection of dvds. She had been nervous about potentially confronting Liz, but now she was glad she had. Liz was going to be ok... She was certainly wavering, but she hadn't completely given up on the world, yet.

And Samar was determined to make sure she never did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary for anyone who opted to skip the chapter; the shortest possible way I can describe what's happening, is that after Samar's suspicions in the last few chapters, Liz is indeed starting to slip into the early stages of post natal depression. Out of concern for Liz, Samar talks to her about it, and tries to reassure her that it's ok. Samar refers to having struggled in the past, and tells Liz she'll look out for her and not judge in the slightest, because she doesn't want to see someone she cares about go through what she did... And she'd prefer to see Liz address it while it's still in the early stages, and before it gets worse. Additionally, and what prompts the conversation, is the fact that Liz is still wanting to adopt a child, but considering her circumstances/criminal record, it's going to be a long and difficult process, and she's upset at the idea that it may never happen.  
> Ultimately though, the bottom line is that though Liz is starting to have a hard time, she's still hopeful and Samar will help her in any way she needs it. So, she's going to eventually be ok. 
> 
> I hope that helps, and that nobody was badly upset by this chapter.  
> Next up; some promised, and much awaited Ressler progress, in a chapter aptly titled 'Sleepless'.


	27. Sleepless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Saturday-Monday, September 24-26, 2016.
> 
> Tadaa! The much promised return of Ressler. Enjoy!

Samar awoke with a jump. Half asleep, she fumbled through the sheets, searching blindly for Aram, only for her eyes to snap wide open in alarm when she realised he wasn't there. But, she _could_ hear his voice. She sat up in the bed and gazed around the room; the bathroom light wasn't on, _so where was he?_ A faint cry sounded through the baby monitor on the nightstand, quickly drawing Samar's attention.  
  
The cry was followed by a muffled whisper.   
  
Samar jumped straight out of the bed and rushed down the hall to Leila's room, only coming to a sudden stop in the doorway as she saw Aram standing in the middle of the room, cradling Leila in his arms.   
'Sshhhh,' Aram hushed, as Samar opened her mouth to speak.   
'How did you do that?' She whispered. Not once, in the time since they returned from Delaware, had Leila slept properly through the night and yet, there she was now sleeping peacefully in Aram's arms.   
'I just picked her up and rocked her gently, like you're supposed to. She settled in just a couple of minutes.' Samar gaped, flabbergasted.  
'I've been doing that every night, but she wouldn't go to sleep. I even sang to her earlier, but...' Samar let out a yawn, 'she just wouldn't stop crying.' Aram glanced at her sympathetically, knowing how exhausted she was. 'Wait a minute...' Samar furrowed her brow in confusion, 'did you wake up to her crying before you came in her and settled her?'   
'Mmhmm,' he hummed, nodding in time with his gentle swaying, 'I wasn't sure if I should, but...'  
'...But I didn't wake up,' Samar finished the sentence for him. Her face fell, as she wandered over from the doorway to Aram's side, and leaned her head against his shoulder, gazing at Leila's tiny, sleeping form. A heavy pang of guilt rocked her stomach; _how could she not wake up?_ How many other times had Leila cried during the night, only for her to sleep straight through them?   
'Don't stress,' he pressed a kiss to her forehead, 'she's fine, and you're just tired. I wanted to let you sleep.'  
'You didn't have to do that.'  
'I know. I wanted to... She can probably sense the stress.'  
'I don't get it...' Samar murmured, shaking her head in disbelief, 'Liz says Sammy sleeps through every night with no problems.'  
'Which is a good thing really, because Liz has enough going on,' Aram observed in response, raising one eyebrow. Samar simply shot him a look –she knew that much all too well, and she wasn't complaining. She was simply amazed at the difference between the two sleeping patterns –or in Leila's case, the lack thereof. 'And who says every baby is the same?' Aram suddenly added.  
'True...' Samar trailed off, giving a small nod of agreement, 'but Leila keeping _me_ awake is bad enough, without you having to stay up too.' Aram glanced back at her again, smiling softly.  
'Well... I do usually wake up whenever you wake up anyway, whether I actually get out of bed or not.' Samar did a double take, then sighed unhappily.  
'Oh... Really?'  
'Sometimes it's only for a minute or two before I fall asleep again, but... Yeah, I do.'  
'Sorry...' Samar's shoulders drooped sheepishly as she said it, and Aram shot her a weary, but honest grin.  
'No, it's fine,' he said gently. Aram had known what he was signing up for, from the moment he first told Samar he wasn't going anywhere. There was no need for her to apologise. If anything, her insistence –out of lingering hesitation about Aram taking on too much responsibility for Leila when he didn't have to, no matter how much he kept telling her that it was what he _wanted_ to do- that she be the one to always settle Leila during the night, meant that Aram was nowhere near as exhausted as he could be, so he wasn't worried at all. 'Though...' Aram began, a touch of amusement now creeping into his voice, 'since she's sleeping now, can we go back to bed? I do have some cooking to do tomorrow.' Samar rolled her eyes, equally amused. With her and Liz both still on leave, Aram had insisted that a team dinner over the weekend was in order... But as per usual, he was planning on cooking –which of course meant that Samar would end up having to rescue him in the kitchen.  
'You mean, _I_ have cooking to do tomorrow,' she teased, 'and you did say everyone was bringing something, so it's really not that much.' Aram simply shrugged, pulling the most seemingly innocent face he could muster as he gently placed Leila back in her crib.  
'Let's call it teamwork.'  
  
/*/*/*/*  
  
The apartment was filled with the noise of happy, relaxed post-dinner conversation. Liz, Ressler, Cooper and Charlene were all there, and though everyone was tired for some reason or another, they were all glad to see each other as a group again -seeing everyone individually and in some cases, at only limited frequency, while Liz and Samar were on leave and the Post Office was closed just wasn't the same. Samar quickly glanced around the living room, before taking a seat next to Liz on the couch. Liz was taking a moment to laugh and pull silly faces at Leila, while Cooper and Charlene held Sammy. Naturally, everyone had to take their turn gushing over each of the two little ones and exclaiming about how much they had grown in just a few weeks... But while Ressler had happily cuddled Sammy, Samar had noted that rather oddly, he had avoided going too close to Leila. Instead, he simply stuck to sitting across the room from her, observing with a curious, pensive expression etched across his face. Samar turned her attention back to Liz, determined not to let whatever frustration was bothering Ressler, bother her as well. Liz at least, was all smiles today –and mostly genuine at that. Since their conversation in her living room, and with their leave periods overlapping, Liz and Samar had quickly fallen into a routine of spending most of the days together while everyone else was at work. It was the best way for both of them to alleviate the boredom, and to look out for each other… And at the very least, on the days they didn’t spend together, Samar had made a point of checking on Liz by phone. As was to be expected, Liz had both good days and bad days, but today seemed to be the former. The exhausted rings around her eyes were still dark and puffy, though not as much as they had been a week and half earlier... She was still stressed, anxious and not sleeping well, but it was as if just having the weight of hiding her struggle lifted from her shoulders, was at least starting to help.  
  
'Have you been able to get her to sleep yet?' Liz suddenly asked, as she continued grinning and pulling other silly faces at Leila. Across the small living room, Ressler raised his eyebrows at the sound of the conversation.  
'Aram did, last night,' Samar said, before letting out a sigh, 'but that didn't last long.' To be specific, it had taken all of an hour and a half before Leila had woken up again.   
'Is she not sleeping at _all_?' Ressler finally piped up, his face contorting in concern. Samar and Liz both glanced up in surprise.  
'Well, a little. Once she _is_ asleep, it's not so bad,' Samar explained, 'but it's an effort to get her to sleep in the first place.' Aram settling Leila the night before was an anomaly, that they eventually concluded was merely a case of Leila having cried herself to the point of exhaustion right as Aram had picked her up from the crib. Ressler's lip quirked up, suddenly thoughtful.  
'That, uh...' He paused, shooting Samar a guilty grin, ' _might_ be a Ressler thing. I never slept as a baby either, it drove my parents _crazy_. If it helps, they found the one thing that did get me to sleep was if they put me in the car and drove around the block a few times.' Samar's gaze dropped back to Leila, curious; she had expected Leila to fuss for the entire three hours to Delaware but strangely, the drives there and back were the only two occasions she had seen Leila sleep uninterrupted for that amount of time. Liz furrowed her brow, eyeing the curious expression on Samar's face and awaiting a response.   
'Maybe I'll try that, then,' she said softly, a tired but appreciative smile slowly working its way across her face, 'thanks.' Ressler shifted awkwardly in his seat, letting out a brief, stilted nod in response, before quickly turning to talk to Cooper and Charlene sitting on his other side.   
  
Ressler had just been starting to finally let go... Until he held Leila in his arms right after she was born and then the agonising internal conflict started up _all_ over again. He was frustrated at himself now; he had made the decision not to be a part of Leila's life for a good reason, but he hadn't taken into account the idea that in making that decision -and every one thereafter- he and Samar would reach a certain understanding of one another that would reduce the conflict between them significantly... And now Ressler was wondering if he shouldn't have worried about their ability to potentially work together... That the move to stay away so as not to allow Leila to be caught in the middle and fought over, might have been far too pre-emptive after all. That was why he had tried to avoid her all evening, and much of the last few weeks too; to try and keep those feelings at bay, rather than allow himself to be drawn in. He had always wanted to be a part of her life, but had opted not to be in order to put her needs above his own, though now Ressler was thinking that the two ideas may not be as mutually exclusive as first thought... But although much like himself, Samar too, had calmed a lot in respect to the boundaries she had initially placed between them, her wishes had been made quite clear and Ressler was hesitant to make the risky move to counter them. Her one request that he not change his mind and mess her around, was one that she had made well before he made his decision. It wasn't fine print, or a misread sub-clause. It was clear, and Ressler had known exactly what he was doing and what was expected of him when he chose to play the part of nothing more than a friend... And Ressler also knew that Leila's birth registration had already been filed by now... And his name wasn't on it.   
  
_So he couldn't change things now... Could he?_  
  
He gritted his teeth bitterly as he glanced for a second back in the other direction and watched Samar now happily chattering to the baby girl in Liz's arms, that looked so much like herself. He had to stay away, but he _so_ didn't want to anymore... He was yet another member of the group who was losing sleep, and in his case it was over all the anxiety. It didn't help that Ressler hadn't breathed a word of Leila's existence to his mother; not out of shame, but out of fear. His mother was still somewhat old fashioned and traditional, and though Ressler did not share her views in the slightest, he also knew that the one fateful night he spent with Samar, and everything that came afterwards, was not something his mother was likely to be happy about. That in itself was another sore spot, because Ressler knew all too well just how supportive Aram's parents had been of the whole, unfortunate situation. But if Ressler already had to deal with not being a part of Leila's life, he was reluctant to potentially risk damaging things with his mother as well... She was the only family he had left. If he could be more certain about how things stood with Samar and Leila, perhaps it would be worth having that conversation with his mother, but for now... He just had to keep all his anxieties to himself... And stay away.           
  
/*/*/*/*  
  
For what felt like the thousand and umpteenth time, Samar paced around Leila's room in the middle of the night, trying to coax her back to sleep. She glanced up, completely exhausted, as Aram appeared in the doorway.  
'Do you want me to try to settle her again?' He asked, after stifling a yawn.   
'Actually I was thinking at this point, that I might just try driving around the block,' Samar commented, 'it couldn't hurt, right?' They had tried _everything_ they could think of by now; talking, singing, reading, quietly holding Leila close... And then some. But, nothing worked. Leila just wouldn't sleep, and now Samar was willing to try absolutely _anything_... Well, within reason, anyway.  
'How about I go instead?' Aram asked gently, 'you're exhausted, it's not safe to drive like that.'  
'I'm awake,' Samar protested, 'and it's only around the block a couple of times. You need to sleep, you have to work tomorrow.' Aram furrowed his brow in concern; the distance made no difference to him –so long as Samar was tired, and he knew she was tired, he was nervous about her driving in the dark after so little sleep.  
'Can I at least come with you?' He insisted, 'even if I don't go, I won't get back to sleep before you get home, so it won't make a difference.' Samar eyed him warily for a moment, debating whether or not to continue protesting.   
'Ok,' she finally relented. 'Let's go and see if this works.'  
  
It took all of one lap around the block for Leila's cries to fade, and for her eyes to shut firmly closed. Samar drove one more lap around the block just to play it safe, before finally parking the car in her usual space once more. Once the car had stopped, Aram shifted around in his seat to stare at Leila sleeping soundly in the back.  
'Would you look at that,' he murmured, shaking his head in disbelief. 'It worked... She's got Ressler genes.' Samar's lip twitched in amusement as she too, turned to glance briefly at Aram, and then at Leila.  
'They had to show up at some point,' she muttered drolly. 'Unfortunately, I haven't quite mastered cloning myself.' Aram held back a laugh at _that_ particular visual, taking one last glance at Leila before wearily getting out the car –all the while still shaking his head and muttering under his breath.  
'Unbelievable...'  
  
/*/*/*/*  
  
Another drive in the middle of the day to get Leila back to sleep once again, only further proved the efficiency of the strategy. Samar set Leila down in her crib, before wandering back out into the living room and collapsing onto the couch. She sighed in sheer relief at the quietness that now filled the apartment... That _beautiful_ , peaceful quiet...  
  
And then her phone rang.  
  
With a scowl, Samar jumped up from the couch, rushing across the room to reach her phone where she had left it on the kitchen counter earlier, before the noise could _dare_ to wake Leila again. She glanced at the name flashing on the screen as she answered, frowning curiously.  
'Ressler?'  
'Hey,' came Ressler's voice tentatively through the phone. It was a slow day at the anti-fraud taskforce he had been temporarily assigned to, and he was on his lunch break. He had spent at least ten minutes of it so far, wondering whether or not to call –part of him wanted desperately not to but on the other hand, the curiosity was killing him, and he just couldn't help himself. 'Did you take Leila for a drive last night?' Samar smirked -she could hear the curiosity practically seeping from Ressler's voice.  
'I ran out of alternatives, so... Yes.' She said. 'It actually worked too.' Through the phone, Samar could hear what sounded like Ressler's lunch being dropped on his desk in surprise.  
'Ha!' Ressler suddenly burst out, before he could stop himself, 'that's my girl!' It took all of a nanosecond for Ressler to quickly start spluttering and coughing in attempt to cover up his cheer, but there was no point -his words were proud enough. Samar tried earnestly not to chuckle; she was far too tired to argue and frankly, she couldn't help but be amused by Ressler's burst of pride over something so ridiculous.  
'You know, normally I'd object to you saying that...' She began.  
'-But you won't, because you actually got some sleep,' Ressler finished for her, all too pleased with himself. The line went silent for a moment, as Ressler dejectedly reminded himself not to become too excited or proud when he knew he was already having a hard time letting go, and Samar wondered briefly whether she needed to needed to start enforcing the boundaries more strictly again.   
'I know you joked about accidentally spawning a mini me, but she's just as much a mini you,' Samar finally let out -her voice quiet, but meaningful. She was glad that they could have these casual conversations now, without any arguments ensuing, but at the same she noted Ressler's avoidance one day and curiosity the next. She knew it meant he was grappling again with how he felt about everything going on, and that made her nervous about how much to share with him. But so long as Ressler could manage to contain himself, Samar preferred to be able to share _some_ things. It was either that, or cut him off entirely... And _that_ would not go well for any of them. Ressler gave a short chuckle.  
'Yeah but the difference is, I'm not the one who has to live with her.' He paused again, suddenly pensive. 'Look, Samar... I know you hate me and all, but let me know if she shows up any other quirks that you can't figure out. I might be able to help.' Or at least, that way he could feel like he was playing a part, while still maintaining a certain degree of distance and not becoming too attached. A wry smile lit up Samar's face, regardless of the fact that Ressler couldn't see it.   
'I don't _hate_ you, but I still don't like you,' she said drolly.  
'I don't like you either.'   
'Oh, perfect. The world is right again.' Ressler let out a grin of his own at Samar's observation; he still wasn't comfortable with the idea of asking Samar to renegotiate the rules she had put in place so long ago, no matter how badly he wished he could, but at least they were comfortable enough now to make fun of the crazy situation they had found themselves in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up; 'Celebrations'
> 
> Oh, I will mention; the next few chapters may come out a little slower than usual. I like to write a couple ahead so that I have a small buffer, but there's a particular arc spanning a few chapters that I'll start to write soon, and they may take me a while, so I'll have to pace myself when it comes to posting the remaining few before it. Please bear with me! :)


	28. Celebrations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Tuesday, October 4, 2016.
> 
> Also known as; 'The One Where Aram Is the Cutest Master Planner Of All Time, Samar Compares Her Daughter To A Turtle, And They Both Have Dinner In A Castle'. Let your imaginations run wild with that one!

'Moooooorning,' Aram's voice rang in Samar's ears just as her eyes flickered open. She rolled over onto her back, sleepily pushing her hair back off her face, and smiled blearily up at him. Aram was already awake, almost fully dressed, and bustling around the room... And as Samar woke up further, she noted the faint smell of cooking wafting through the apartment from the kitchen.   
'Why are you awake so much earlier than usual?' She mumbled. Aram didn't answer straight away. Rather, he ambled around to her side of the bed, his face lit up by a mischievous grin, and quickly set Leila down on Samar's belly.   
'Impromptu tummy time, for starters,' he said, chuckling to himself. Samar quickly put one arm loosely around Leila so she couldn't roll off, and gazed at the now six week old squirming on top of her, one eyebrow raised in amusement.   
'You know, when we were told to give her supervised time spent laying on her belly, I'm pretty sure this is not how it was supposed to go.' Aram simply shrugged as he now stared at his collection of ties, trying to figure out which one to wear. Holding back a laugh of her own, Samar suddenly did a double take. 'Wait a minute,' she began, slowly picking Leila up and raising one eyebrow again at the sight in front of her, 'what is she wearing?' Aram chuckled again, slowly made his way back to Samar's side of the bed, and sat down beside her. The onesie Leila was wearing was not one Samar had seen before, nor was it one she recalled either of them ever buying; it was white with purple polka dots and edging, and emblazoned on the front in curly lettering was the phrase 'mommy's little girl.'   
'Surprise number one,' Aram murmured, quickly kissing Samar's cheek, 'that's Leila saying happy birthday.' Samar's lip twitched.  
'I see...' She trailed off for a second, 'mommy's little girl? Really?'   
'Not as clichéd as it sounds,' Aram explained sagely, 'do you want her to be fierce like you, or not?' Samar paused, for once unable to counter his argument.  
'Does that mean the pancakes I can smell are _you_ saying happy birthday?' She eventually asked. Aram grinned again, noting Samar's sudden change of subject as a win... But the grin lasted all of two seconds, and Aram's face suddenly crumpled as he jumped to his feet.  
'Oh, the pancakes!' Aram quickly ran out of the room and headed back to the kitchen, having forgotten about the breakfast he was cooking when he first poked his head around the bedroom door to see if Samar was awake yet. With a small sigh, Samar sat up and then clambered out of bed. Clearly, Aram had tried -and _failed_ \- to make breakfast, _again_. She carried Leila in her arms as she wandered curiously into the kitchen. There Aram was, staring dejectedly at the pancakes –all of which were burnt to varying degrees, but the very last one was blackened to a crisp. Samar instead, observed the two plates, fresh cups of coffee, and all the usual trimmings for pancakes, already laid out across the square dining table that was just big enough for four, and let out a soft smile. The pancakes themselves might have been a failure, but clearly Aram had put some thought into putting together a nice breakfast just for the two of them.   
'I was hoping we could at least have breakfast before I had to go...' He sighed. Still grinning, Samar reached across the counter and picked up the least burnt pancake, tearing the soft, sweet goodness in half, before taking a small bite of one piece.   
'This one isn't so bad,' she commented, handing him the other half, 'you're getting better at making them.' Aram took a bite of his own from the other half, and raised his eyebrows in surprise at just how _not_ terrible it actually was. He reached for his coffee and managed to gulp down half of it, just as Samar absentmindedly glanced over at the clock on the wall, and then hurriedly back to him. 'You're going to be late if you don't get moving though,' she observed, a touch of concern flashing across her face. Aram too, glanced at the clock, and then gasped at the time. He wasn't going to be late, he already _was_ late. He quickly gulped down the rest of his coffee and set the mug back down on the counter, pausing only to gaze longingly at the breakfast setup on the table for a moment, before swinging his backpack over his shoulder. Samar followed him to the front door, still carrying Leila with one arm, and reached out with her free hand to grasp Aram's sleeve before he hurried down the hallway out of the building. 'Hey,' she said quietly, stopping him in him in his tracks and planting a quick kiss on his cheek. 'Thank you, anyway.'   
'Happy birthday,' he murmured, shooting her a quick grin as he kissed her back. 'Oh,' he suddenly paused to add, 'uh, Liz will call you later about the second surprise.'  
'There's another one?' Samar asked, raising a single, wry eyebrow. Aram simply winked at her.  
'Yep!' And with that, Aram ducked his head to kiss Leila's cheek as well for good measure, shifted his backpack to sit on his shoulder more comfortably, then turned and hurried away. Samar shook her head in amusement as she watched him walk away, then closed the apartment door behind her and faced the mess Aram had left all over the kitchen. She dropped her gaze to Leila, rolling her eyes and wondering what other shenanigans Aram and Liz had decided to plan for her.  
'You're not in on this too, are you?' She murmured, and Leila simply cooed in response, 'because honestly, it wouldn't surprise me if he'd tried to talk you into it.'

/*/*/*/*

Liz did indeed call about another surprise, just a couple of hours later. Apparently, Aram had arranged for her and Sammy to take Samar and Leila out for a picnic lunch... But as Samar now looked out the window at the threateningly dark rain clouds spread all across the sky, only a half hour away from when she was supposed to leave to meet Liz at the park, she seriously doubted that a picnic was going to happen at all.  

Clearly, Aram had forgotten to check the weather report during his planning stages.

A knock on the front door interrupted Samar's musings, and with what was probably her umpteenth raised eyebrow of the morning, she ambled towards the door to answer it. To her surprise, there was not a person standing there but rather, a delivery of flowers sitting on the doorstep. And they weren't just any flowers, they were a beautiful mix of red and white roses, arranged in a silver box wrapped in dark purple ribbon.

...But, they were wilted... _Very_ wilted.  

Samar bent down to pick up the arrangement and read the card; it was another surprise from Aram, apparently to add a dose of birthday cheer while he was at work during the day. With a touch of disappointment, she set the flowers down on the dining table; had the roses not been so horribly wilted, they would have been absolutely stunning... And after Aram's disappointment over the failed breakfast, Samar hated to imagine how he'd feel about the flower shop having ruined yet another of his little surprises, by not delivering fresher flowers.  

Then, just as Samar reached for her phone to text him and thank him anyway –a call would only distract him if he was working, whereas a text he could get to whenever he wasn't busy- her phone rang.

And it was Liz's name flashing on the caller ID.  
'Hey, Samar?' She began slowly, 'have you seen the clouds outside?' Samar bit her lip as she glanced out the window, eyeing the clouds once again.   
'We're not going for that picnic, are we?'  
'It's probably not a good idea... Sorry.' Samar let out a brief sigh of disappointment at Liz's observation; _were any of Aram's surprises going to go as planned?_ 'Uh...' Liz continued, as Samar didn't respond, 'did you want to do something else instead?' Samar paused, considering that for a moment, and suddenly caught herself surprised at just how disappointed she was. She had said to Aram that she didn't want a fuss to be made of her birthday, but as each of his planned gestures seemed to backfire, Samar found herself more and more disappointed.   
'No,' she said quietly, 'it's ok. It's probably about to start raining, so I might just stay home rather than take Leila outside in the cold. Thank you though.' Liz voiced her agreement with the idea, apologising yet again, and then eventually hung up. Samar tossed her phone back down on the counter, too frustrated to bother going back to the text message she had wanted to send Aram before Liz called, and sighed as she turned and once again spotted the wilted roses sitting right there on the table in front of her. None of the string of disasters was really Aram or Liz's fault, and Samar knew that... But that didn't mean she didn't feel as downcast now, as those dark clouds outside the window.  

/*/*/*/*

Samar stretched her arms back behind her head, before rolling onto her side, and staring happily at the sight in front of her. Once Leila had eventually woken up again, Samar had laid out the rose blanket on the floor in the living area for Leila to wriggle around on. It amused her all too much, as she sat on the floor by the blanket's edge and watched, how Leila would roll onto her belly within a second or two of being placed onto her back, but couldn't roll back again. For a little while, Samar had stayed sitting there cross legged, watching Leila roll and wriggle around and then every so often turning her over again, before resorting to curling up on the floor beside her with a book, and a square pillow pulled down from the couch. Intermittently she read small passages aloud in silly voices, but mostly Samar simply chattered and laughed as she watched Leila working her little muscles. Leila was still wearing the polka dotted onesie Aram had dressed her in earlier, and now all Samar could do after the string of disappointments during the day, was smile at that clichéd phrase on the front of it; _at least that was one sweet surprise that couldn't backfire._  

Samar glanced up from her musings at the sound of the front door being unlocked, and Aram bustling back into the apartment. She watched him glance around the living room looking for her, before he eventually spotted her on the floor in front of the couch.

'What are you doing down there?' He asked, lip quirking up in amusement at her lazy wave of greeting. Samar looked a bizarre sight, curled up on the floor with her pillow and her book, next to Leila on her blanket. It was a far cry from the usual gun-toting, door-kicking, case-cracking Samar that Aram was used to seeing and yet somehow, it also didn't surprise him at all.   
'I was bored...  And she's supposed to exercise every day, remember?' Samar said flatly, before glancing back at Leila again and forcing herself to hold back a laugh, 'it's kind of funny; she can only roll one way. She's like some kind of turtle, but in reverse. Besides, laying on the floor is actually quite comfortable.' Aram shook his head in mock exasperation.   
'I'm sure she'd _love_ being compared to a turtle, if she could understand you,' he deadpanned.   
'What's wrong with turtles?' Samar protested, furrowing her brow in confusion. 'They're certainly cuter than crocodiles.'  
'Noted,' Aram's lip twitched as he recalled the crocodile patterned onesie he had surprise her with when Leila was still in hospital. 'But don't get too comfortable,' he chirped, grinning widely as he reached for her hands and pulled her up off the floor, 'there's still one more surprise.'  
' _Another_ one?' Samar let out a groan as she stood up again after however long she had spent on the floor. She tilted her head slightly, shooting Aram an appreciative, but weary smile. 'Aram, I love the thought but... Can we just give up on my birthday now?' Samar was certainly dubious about whatever else Aram could possibly have in store for her; she was quite content having at least found some amusement in playing with Leila, and she didn't particularly want to feel disappointed again.  
'Nope,' Aram was clearly struggling to hold back a mischievous grin at whatever his final, master plan was, and after quickly picking Leila up off the blanket and then nudging Samar along with his elbow, all he could do was borderline bounce on the balls of his feet with glee. 'Come on, it's the last one, I promise.' Samar sighed, but allowed him to take her hand and drag her along all the same.  
'Ok.'

/*/*/*/*

'Ok, where are we going now?' Samar asked curiously, as Aram lead her down the now moonlit National Mall. Stopping by Liz's place on the way over had been confusing enough; Samar had thought that perhaps they were going there for dinner but as it turned out, Liz was simply babysitting Leila for a couple of hours while Samar and Aram went elsewhere. It had taken everything Samar had, not to interject and tell Liz she didn't have to babysit... That surely they could take Leila wherever they were going instead. After all, Liz had enough on her plate. But Aram, sensing exactly what was going through her mind, had reassured Samar in the car as they drove away, that he felt the same, whereas Liz had eagerly volunteered.

Apparently that was her contribution to the birthday celebration, and she had suggested it three times during the planning stages before Aram agreed.  

'The Smithsonian,' Aram said simply, grin still plastered across his face. Samar raised an eyebrow. That was a deliberately unhelpful answer, and he knew it.   
'I see _that_ much,' Samar observed, glancing at him pointedly. Aram's let out a soft smile, taking pity on her for all the frustration he had put her through during the day in order to pull off his grand plan.   
'The Sackler gallery,' Aram relented, pointing at the granite building in question as it came into view. 'You said you always wanted to see it, didn't you?' Samar's face crumpled, suddenly bracing for further disappointment. She _had_ always wanted to see it, _but_...  
'The Sackler gallery closes at five thirty...' She said slowly, 'it's just after seven now.'  
'Well, if you prefer, we could always go across the mall to the Museum of Natural History.' Aram chuckled to himself, gesturing behind them to another building directly across the National Mall, 'that doesn't close until seven thirty today... And they have dinosaurs there.' Samar shot him a withering look, but Aram just grinned again. He tugged on her hand, still walking towards the Sackler gallery, and Samar was suddenly surprised to see the glass door swing open... And a man behind it, smiling out at them. 'The Sackler gallery only closes at five thirty if you don’t have a badge, or a friend who works here,' Aram murmured, excitedly kissing her cheek as Samar looked around with an expression of pure amazement etched across her face. 'And I have both. Happy birthday.' Aram turned to clap his friend on the back and quickly catch up, as Samar took a few more wordless steps past the entrance, all the while staring awestruck at the grand staircase before her and everything else undoubtedly beyond.   
'You two ready for your tour?' Aram's friend's voice eventually rang in her ears. Samar turned, staring back at them in disbelief.  
'I think that's a resound _yes_ ,' Aram muttered gleefully to his friend. He was so pleased with himself and what Samar didn't know was... The evening was only just beginning.

/*/*/*/*

'How was that for a birthday surprise?' Aram teased. The tour of the gallery was now finished and he and Samar –lead by his friend Alex- were walking slowly across the stretch of the Haupt garden that was directly outside the Sackler gallery entrance. Samar still wasn't sure who exactly Alex was, besides the fact that he was an old college buddy of Aram's who had been recruited to the NSA at the same time but to a different team, and then somehow ended up changing tracks and working at the Smithsonian... But whoever he was, and whatever his job was now, he was important enough that as he lead them through the garden, none of the security guards they passed even batted an eyelid at their presence. Out of the corner of her eye, Samar eyed Aram suspiciously –but only teasingly so.   
'Was the picnic lunch just a decoy?' She asked curiously.   
'Yep,' Aram grinned, glad that she was finally putting the pieces together.  'That was Liz's idea, actually; we knew it was going to rain... The flowers were a decoy too, by the way.' Samar gaped at him.  
'You _deliberately_ bought half-dead flowers?'  
'Yeah, and you wouldn't believe how many flower shops I had to call before one would agree to do it either.' Aram rolled his eyes, trying to recall just how many shops he did call, but he had lost count after seven. None of them wanted to risk their reputation by delivering wilted flowers and possibly falling into a trap that lead to complaints, apparently.   
'...And the pancakes?' Samar asked warily. Aram's face crumpled slightly, now glancing at her sheepishly.  
'No... They really _did_ burn accidentally.' Samar clasped a hand over her mouth, laughing. Aram's lip twitched; he had been genuinely disappointed at first by the fact that the breakfast hadn't gone as planned but the more he thought about it throughout the day, the more he took it as a bonus. In the end, it had only added to the ruse, and made it all the more believable.   
'So, what now?' Samar asked, as her chuckling came to an end.  
'Now, we have dinner,' Aram said matter of factly, gesturing at the building in front of them –the administration and information centre for the whole complex, which conveniently sat just across the garden from the gallery. Samar followed his gaze, curious to see what he was pointing at.   
'In the castle?' Aram beamed at her small gasp.  
'Yep!'  

They continued following Alex into, and then through the Castle, finally stopping at the appropriately named 'Castle Café'. The café was almost entirely engulfed in darkness, and the majority of the chairs were tipped upside down and sat on their respective tables as they always did come closing time. But, right in the middle, there was one table and two chairs not packed up. Plates, cutlery, and glasses sat laid out ready for dinner... And the entire ensemble was lit by an arrangement of purple and green candles in the centre of the table. Samar stood, almost statuesque in the doorway, staring at it in disbelief and taking it all in. Slowly, she glanced back to Aram.  
'This is amazing...' She trailed off breathlessly. Finally regaining the ability to move, she reached forwards to rest her palm against his cheek and press an adoring kiss to his lips. Samar broke into a wide grin; 'now, how am I supposed to top this for your birthday next year?'  
'No idea, I found it hard enough to top this year's cupcake tour,' Aram simply shrugged, looking at her incredulously as he pulled out her chair at the table for her. 'Do you _know_ how much cake I ate that day?'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up; 'Foundations'. If anyone thought the Saram component of this story was traveling at a strange pace, this will be the chapter that idea was leading to!
> 
> Questions? Comments? I love to chat, you guys!


	29. Foundations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Sunday, October 16, 2016.
> 
> Not too fluffy, not too angsty... Just a touch of establishing progression, and foreshadowing some things that I better not spoil... *mischievous grin*

Yet another of Samar's small sighs to herself finally drew Aram's attention away from his laptop; she had been in a strange mood all day, but she didn't seem particularly upset or frustrated, simply a little distracted, and so Aram wasn't entirely sure whether or not to bring it up. Though, he had now lost count of all those absent minded sighs that Samar had let out while standing at the edge of the kitchen counter and shuffling through printouts of photos. Something was bothering her, and now he wanted to know what it was.

Aram closed his laptop and set it down on the coffee table in front of the couch. He slowly rose from the cushions and wandered over to Samar's side, peering down at the photos in front of her.  
'What's wrong?' Aram murmured in her ear. Samar did a double take as she suddenly glanced at him in response to the question, clearly jolted from her mind's distracted wanderings.  
'Oh, nothing,' she muttered back a little uneasily, before gesturing at the photos, 'I'm just sorting these, trying to figure out which ones to put on the wall.' Samar shuffled a few more around on the counter so that Aram could see them all. One in particular caught his eye; a sweet picture of the two of them with Leila, that Liz had managed to capture on her phone a week earlier. Aram had been holding Leila in one arm, while the other arm rested gently around Samar's side. He stood directly front on to the camera, but with his head turned to gaze adoringly at Samar who had turned to face him and extend her arm across to reach for Leila's tiny fingers –all the while her eyes twinkled and her face was lit up by a laugh at some tongue in cheek comment made just seconds earlier. It was the kind of photo that was so candid, it couldn't have been better posed if they had tried –and yet, it was completely genuine. Needless to say, Liz had followed her quick thinking and good timing with a rapid series of wisecracks about how adorable they were –much to Aram's delight and Samar's mild embarrassment. Nonetheless, it was a good photo, and Aram had paused in a brief moment of surprise when he noticed it proudly sitting atop the pile of printouts the day before. That said, it was another thing he had very deliberately opted not to mention, because no matter how cute he thought Samar's choice of printouts was, he didn't want to make a fuss and bring about the irritable expression that always crossed her face when anyone called her cute. Instead, Aram had simply grinned to himself, and walked away wondering what the printouts were for.  

Now knowing that it had the potential to go on the wall, Aram grinned to himself again... Before suddenly remembering what it was he had walked over to ask.

'That's what's on your mind?' He asked curiously, 'picking photos for the wall?' Samar had a small collection of photos displayed in a sort of collage on the hallway wall; mostly pictures from her travels or snapshots of teams from her previous assignments, as well as a couple from her childhood of her parents... But now she was sorting through a handful of more recent pictures, primarily of Leila, but a few with himself and Liz appeared in the collection too. Samar stared intently at the pictures on the counter, avoiding Aram's gaze.  
'What makes you think something's on my mind?' She countered.  
'Let's call it a lucky guess,' Aram pushed back, albeit gently. He reached for the picture of the three of them that had caught his eye earlier, and held it up to show Samar. 'And, I like this one,' he added, as Samar took it from him. She had seen him pause to look at it the day before, and hadn't been able to resist letting out a soft smile at how he hadn't said anything, even though she knew he loved it.   
'I thought you might say that.' Samar paused to look at it again, before quickly placing it back down on the counter and over to one side to start the pile of chosen photos. Aram watched quietly, knowing too well that the photos weren't all that was on her mind, and waited for her to let it out. 'Sammy's nearly twelve weeks old now,' She said finally, frowning a little at the observation, 'that means Liz goes back to work next week.' Aram furrowed his brow in confusion; wasn't that a good thing?  
'Yeah, I know,' he began, 'temporary assignments are almost over, and the Post Office can get back to business now that she's coming back.' Aram had been waiting eagerly for that to happen and yet, Samar didn't seem anywhere near as enthused. Samar bit her lip, sighing bitterly again.  
'I can't go back for another five weeks yet,' she said flatly. She was genuinely glad for Liz, there was no debating it; Liz was as bored on leave as Samar was, and a return to work meant she had something productive to do again... But they had spent so much of their overlapping leave so far, wallowing in their boredom together, and now Samar was faced with waiting out the rest of it by herself.

Aram rubbed her back as he put the pieces together in his head and realised the dilemma.  
'It's October now,' he observed, 'Leila's nearly eight weeks old. Look at how much time has passed since February. It doesn't feel like it was that long ago that we had that banana split for dinner.' Samar's lip twitched in a flash of amusement as she remembered that night. 'The next few weeks will be over even faster.'  
'I know...' Samar trailed off for a second, 'it's just frustrating having to wait.' She shook her head, trying to brush off the impatience, and forced a mischievous smile as she finally glanced back to him. 'But, in the meantime... I was thinking we should put some of your photos on the wall as well.' Aram raised a curious eyebrow.   
' _My_ photos?' Samar nodded.   
'You live here now too.'  
'Well, sort of,' Aram said, a wry smile crossing his face. Samar rolled her eyes.  
'When was the last time you slept at _your_ apartment?' She asked, tilting her head quizzically. Aram let out a chuckle; _that was a valid point_ . He tipped his head to her in recognition of such as he responded;  
'We never actually talked about it, though.' All Samar could do was shrug.   
'We _did_ kind of do this backwards.'  

For all intents and purposes, since that afternoon spent decorating Leila's room, Samar and Aram had now both realised -and accepted- the fact that they were more or less living together, without even really giving it a second thought. But the reality was; in having not given it that second thought, they had allowed other things in life to get in the way of the more mundane tasks, such as merging their two collections of furniture... And formally forwarding Aram's mail.  

And the more they both suddenly thought about it, the more they both realised; that wasn't the only important conversation missed or overshadowed by having jumped straight into the deep end and quickly moving forward from there.

They were happily raising a child together and yet, they had totally forgotten to sort out the foundations of their own relationship in favour of simply adapting to their new found family unit.

With that now suddenly crossing both their minds simultaneously, Aram awkwardly dropped his gaze back to the photos on the counter, and Samar bit her lip.  
'Uh, before I forward my mail...' Aram began, shifting uneasily on his feet, 'we should probably backtrack for a second.' Samar's eyes went wide.  
'Right _now_ _?'_ In truthfulness, Aram was not looking forward to any kind of potentially confronting conversation, but now that it had occurred to them just how much they had skipped between first date and baby, they really did need to get everything out on the table. Otherwise, the doubts would only accumulate as they began to linger in the air.  
'Why not?'  
'Ok...' Samar conceded, 'what do you want to start with?' Still standing there at the counter side by side, they swapped awkward glances. Neither of them wanted to pick a topic and voice their thoughts on it, just in case the other disagreed, and they suddenly found themselves wandering markedly different roads.   
'What do _you_ want to start with?' Samar eyed him with one raised eyebrow, before finally taking a breath and relenting.   
'I think I should teach Leila to speak Farsi as well as English, right from the start,' she said, nearly gritting her teeth in determination. Aram nodded, having figured as much for himself; he heard Samar speaking just as much Farsi to Leila as she did English already.  
'I agree.'   
'You're not bothered by the idea that kids raised bilingual tend to start talking later, because they have to figure out more than one language?'   
'No,' Aram quickly shook his head, 'they catch up later down the track, so she'll be fine. But, um... That's still not really backtracking.' Samar grimaced; Aram had a point, and she knew it... But then again, she wasn't the only one avoiding the more complicated issues. She let out another small sigh, before continuing.  
'Balancing work with family is important-'   
'-Agreed-'  
'- _But_ , I'm _not_ giving up my career.' Aram frowned.  
'I didn't think you would,' he said slowly, wondering why Samar even thought to mention it. That was another thing he had already figured for himself.  
'Good-'   
'- _But_ ,' Aram quickly interjected, a touch of concern flashing across his face, 'you'll be careful, right?' Samar nodded, all too earnestly; that idea played on her mind as well. Her job was too important to give up, but she knew how hard it was to grow up without a mother. She didn't want Leila to go through that too.

With those matters out of the way though, there wasn't much more they could say to avoid the inevitable handful of issues at the forefronts of both their minds, that they were both hesitant to address.

'Ok, umm...' Aram began, reluctantly giving up on the delay attempts, 'I know people who have only been together for less than a year don't always have this conversation yet, but you did say we've kind of done this backwards so...' He winced as he paused for a second; _oh man, this was so awkward_... Aram let out an uneasy laugh –trying, and failing- to make it sound casual; 'what are your thoughts on getting married?' Samar cringed, fairly certain that they weren't going to agree on this one, and tried to figure out how to address it delicately.  
'It's great for people who want it, but I don't think it's necessary anymore,' She said slowly before pausing, unsure what to make of the expression on Aram's face. 'It used to be something that couples _had_ to do if they wanted to spend their lives together, but now it's not. People can live together and have kids, and they don't have to be married. It doesn't serve any purpose now other than symbolism.' Aram opened his mouth to interject, but Samar raised a gentle hand to stop him. She wasn't finished just yet; 'and I'm not saying getting married is a _bad_ thing. There's nothing wrong with symbolism if it's important to people as individuals. I'm all for people getting married if that’s what _they_ want to do. I just don't feel like it's something _I_ desperately need. I have you, and I have Leila, and I don't need a piece of paper to tell me that I love you both. I know that already.'  
'What if _I_ like the idea of getting married?' Aram countered, albeit gently.   
'Do you?'  
'Well, yeah,' Aram shrugged his shoulders, 'I know it's just symbolic, but I still like the idea. What if the person you were with, maybe, uh, wanted to get married one day?' Samar's lip twitched.  
'It's not something I would do just for the sake of living up to society's expectations...' She said, with a wry smile. 'But if it's important to you, then I'm open to negotiations.' She wasn't a big, white wedding kind of person, but though she didn't want to get married for the sake of it being the traditional thing, she did care about what Aram wanted too. If it was important to him, then it was important to her. She let out a soft smile, holding back a laugh; 'though, maybe not _just_ yet?'    
'Oh, no, I didn't mean right now,' Aram said, hurriedly shaking his head, 'but you know... Maybe one day.' His cheeks flushed with sheepish embarrassment, and Samar's lip quirked up in amusement. Even Aram thought it was _way_ too soon for them to get married, but he _did_ like to know where they both stood in regards to the idea.

And with one elephant in the room sorted, it was time to address the next.

'What about kids?' Samar cautiously pressed on, after a brief moment of hesitation.  
'I like the idea of having kids, but I don't have a set number,' Aram eyed her warily.  'I mean, I'm not going to complain if we ever have more, but I'm more than happy just to have Leila.' He did kind of like the idea of perhaps having _one_ more child a few years down the track, but Aram was doubtful that he would ever want any more than that. In all honesty, Aram had been starting to think that he wouldn't even have one, so he was happy with what he had, and he also figured that Samar probably wouldn't want another one either; Aram already knew that she had been hesitant about having one in the first place. Samar breathed a sigh of relief.  
'I think balancing one with working for the FBI is complicated enough,' she chuckled, glad that this was yet another issue where they seemed to understand one another relatively easily, despite not necessarily agreeing; she did love Leila, but Samar really wasn't sure if she could handle any more than that.  

'What else is there to sort out?' She eventually asked.  
'Ummm...' Aram paused as he thought about it, and then the proverbial lightbulb went off. 'You remember I'm half Jewish, half Muslim, right?'   
'Right,' Samar said, nodding quickly, and understanding exactly where this was going, 'but neither of your parents were strict about you being either one or the other in particular. They just wanted you to understand and appreciate the beauty of both.' That was something she remembered him telling her once before.   
'It wouldn't have really worked, otherwise,' Aram nodded too, pleased that she remembered a conversation they had only had in passing in the Post Office break room not all that long after she joined the team. 'But uh, do you practice anything in particular?' He asked warily; he had heard Samar refer to religious things before, but not exclusively in regards to one faith, and never enough to pinpoint exactly what her stance was, so Aram was a little confused. It was almost as if she kept her beliefs deliberately vague to the rest of them. Samar shook her head no; she had spent enough time being angry at the powers that be for the seeming unfairness after her parents died and she was forced to leave her country for its declared enemy. In trying to find peace with herself, she had forced herself to learn the same lesson Aram's parents had insisted on teaching him; to simply understand and appreciate everything for what it was.  
'No, I don't,' she murmured softly, before taking a more emphatic tone, 'faith is important, and people should be able to believe what they want but... I think the main thing is just being a good person to everyone.' Aram grinned at her.  
'Agreed.' Samar's shoulders relaxed as she smiled back at him. 'Any traditions that aren't necessarily religious?'  
'Nowruz,' she hurriedly pointed out. Well, for some it was a holy day, but for many it was a cultural thing –and for Samar it was one that she had, and would, never let go of.   
'Oh, yeah...' Aram trailed off sheepishly. 'Did we accidentally miss that this year?'  
'You might have,' Samar teased, 'but I didn't.' Aram frowned in confusion; he didn't _remember_ her having celebrated it earlier in the year. Samar simply chuckled again, 'it was before you first stayed over,' she quickly explained. Aram let out a small 'ahh' of understanding. 'Oh, there's one last thing, and it might be a dealbreaker,' Samar added warningly, and in seemingly total seriousness. Aram's eyes suddenly snapped wide in alarm; _what could possibly be a dealbreaker that hadn't been already?_ Samar broke into a grin; 'how do you feel about Eurovision?' She laughed. Aram raised his eyes to the ceiling, sighing in relief for a moment, before looking back at her, one eyebrow raised reluctantly.  
'If I _have_ to watch the final with you-'  
'-you do-' -Samar interjected, and Aram rolled his eyes.  
'-I'm sure I'll survive.' He muttered. This year thankfully, Aram hadn't found himself subjected to the theatrics of Eurovision. Instead, Samar had watched it with Liz during one of their girls' nights, over Aram-did-not-want-to-know-how-much ice cream. That said, he knew how much they had both enjoyed it, and if _that_ was the dealbreaker, well... Aram was pretty confident that they could manage to make things work, no matter what differences they may yet still have to encounter. 'So,' he chuckled, 'is it safe to forward my mail now?'   
'Hmmm...' Samar paused, one eyebrow raised in mock contemplation, and teasing him as she glanced back down to the photos spread all over the counter, 'I guess so. If you help me finish going through these photos, anyway.' Aram grinned, instantly pulling her in and tipping his head to press a kiss to her cheek.   
'I can do that.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that arc I was talking about a few chapters ago is coming along nicely, and it's just a couple more chapters away from this one!
> 
> In the meantime, next up is 'Pride'.
> 
> Thanks for reading! :D


	30. Pride

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Monday, October 31, 2016.

_One week down, three more to go_. That was what Samar had to keep telling herself. Liz had been back at the newly up and running Post Office for one week, and Samar had only three weeks left before she could join her. The first two days hadn't been so bad; in a last minute management glitch that had seen Reddington's demanded Post Office child care facility temporarily delayed in its opening, Samar had been tasked with looking after Samantha during those two days as well as Leila, and she'd had her hands full. But once the facility was finally open, Samar was back to the horrifying boredom that felt as if it would continue infinitely.  

At least the fact that the child care facility existed at all, was a plus side.

Finding a place in any child care centre was hard enough anyway, let alone one with the extended opening hours necessary for parents who were FBI agents and didn't work the regular nine to five office hours. In the lead up to Liz's return, Reddington had informed Cooper quite bluntly that if the Bureau's main headquarters had a child care facility for the agents who worked in _those_ offices –which, it _did_ \- then the agents who worked even more complex cases at the Post Office deserved the same privilege, highly classified black site or not. He had concluded the particularly one-sided argument by pointing out that Liz wasn't the only agent on the taskforce with a child, but Samar as well, and a number of other various staff on site who also had children, and who had been struggling to maintain that balance for three and a half years already.

And so, with that now firmly on the list of Reddington's conditions for his arrangement with the taskforce, the small facility was approved and opened, _almost_ in time for Liz's return.  

In the time since however, Samar had resorted to getting up extra early so that she could have time to go for a run and come back, all before Aram left for work in the morning –not just in an attempt to recover her pre-baby fitness levels, but also to have a regular excuse to leave the apartment... And during the days, she resorted to counting down the hours to each weekend, where she could spend whole days with Aram and Liz, rather than just early mornings and evenings. On her own, and with Leila in a pram or baby carrier, Samar was at a loss for what else to do. It wasn't like before Liz went back to work, where they could at the very least wander down to a local café for coffee together; theoretically, Samar could go out for coffee on her own, but it just wasn't the same as going with someone else to talk to.  

 _One week down, three more to go_. Samar growled under her breath to herself; her return to work was so close, but so far. _Unless_... Samar's lip quirked up as an idea came to mind.  

/*/*/*/*

The elevator doors rumbling open in front of her, sounded louder than Samar remembered. Nonetheless, she marched straight into the war room with a smile on her face, heading straight for Aram's desk. The team, engrossed in a case briefing, and accompanied by a beefy, brunette, male agent that Samar didn't recognise, all looked up in surprise as she walked in.  

'Uhhh...' Aram began to stammer.  
'-What are you doing here?' Ressler cut him off, getting straight to the point.   
'Maternity leave means I'm not working,' Samar said flatly, 'it doesn't mean I'm banned from visiting the building.' With a few clicks at Aram's computer, all the grisly case photos quickly disappeared from the overhead screens. Samar raised an eyebrow in amused confusion.  
'What?' Aram awkwardly shrugged his shoulders and gestured at the basket like baby carrier Samar held by her side, 'Leila doesn't need to see crime scene photos.'  
'She's a _baby_ , and she's _sleeping_ ,' scoffed the unfamiliar agent. Samar and Ressler each opened their mouths to interject, but Cooper quickly cut them both off; ordering Ressler, Liz, and the unfamiliar agent to interview the various victims' families. Without a word, the trio marched out of the war room; Liz quickly peeking at Leila and then winking at Samar, Ressler shooting them both awkward, uncomfortable glances, and the unfamiliar agent rolling his eyes at Aram, as they all passed his desk on their way out.  

Cooper waited for the three of them to leave before turning to face Samar and raise an unimpressed eyebrow.

'Samar, you know you're not supposed to be here for another three weeks.' Cooper's tone was firm, and demanding explanation, but not angrily so, 'what made you think you could just turn up?' Samar reached into her bag, pulling out a blue lunchbox and overly casually sliding it onto Aram's desk.  
'Aram forgot his lunch,' she said, quite simply. Aram furrowed his brow; he knew all too well that he had _not_ forgotten his lunch. His lunch was sitting in the break room refrigerator as it did every day. It was however, a convenient excuse for Samar to visit... Not that Aram was planning on voicing that in front of Cooper. If Samar felt the need to make him a second lunch so that she had an excuse to visit the Post Office, there was no way she would admit to visiting for no reason other than to have something to do. Cooper paused, suspiciously eyeing the lunchbox, but ultimately deciding not to question it. So long as Samar stayed out of the field, and within the confines of the war room –and didn't distract anyone else _in_ the war room- there was no reason why she couldn’t visit, especially when they all knew that she was desperate to get back to work.

That said, Cooper wasn't about to say that directly to her; Samar was too proud to admit –besides perhaps, to Aram- that she was making up excuses, or not to be horrified by the knowledge that they all knew what she was doing.  

Wordlessly, and with a frown on his face, Cooper turned and strode out of the war room, back to his own office. Now the only ones left in the room, Aram broke into a grin as he glanced back and forth between Samar and the blue lunchbox sitting there on his desk.   
'Don't say it,' Samar muttered under her breath.  
'I wasn't going to,' Aram chuckled back. He paused for a second, suddenly thoughtful, 'actually, Liz _did_ forget her lunch, so in a way this works out well.' Samar let out a wry smile.  
'Liz forgot her lunch?'  
'Yeah, don't tell her I noticed, though. She's even worse at hiding that kind of thing than you are.' Samar nodded quickly; Liz had enough on her plate already as it was, with readjusting to the workload, looking after Sammy, and trying to take better care of herself as well. She didn't need to be forced to admit to having forgotten her lunch too. Instead, Liz could discreetly swipe Aram's now spare lunch, the rest of them could all plead ignorant in the name of preserving her own pride, and Liz could go on thinking they were none the wiser.   
'Who's the new agent?' Samar asked, after a brief pause. She had barely interacted with the man, but already he had her feeling irked; just the way he had patronisingly scoffed at Aram was enough to make her narrow her eyes in irritation. The grin quickly vanished from Aram's face.  
'ATF,' he grumbled, 'our case overlapped with theirs, so it became a joint investigation.' Samar raised an eyebrow.  
'Is he...' Samar trailed off for a moment, studying the expression on Aram's face, ' _not_ a new friend?' Aram shifted uneasily on his feet, before quickly shifting his gaze back to his computer screen and forcing a more neutral expression.  
'Agent Waller isn't the most...' Aram paused, trying to think of a diplomatic way to phrase what he wanted to say, ' _pleasant_ person to work with, but it's nothing to worry about.' He shrugged, trying to shake it off, but in reality Agent Waller had been getting on his nerves the entire case so far. At first it was as if, and just like the agents on team Aram had been temporarily assigned to while Liz was on leave, Agent Waller didn't take him seriously, all because he was a computer guy, rather than a field agent. But as the case had gone on, and Aram had overheard Waller not once, but _twice_ , chuckling patronisingly into his phone to his own people about the FBI crack team he was working with and the computer guy they revered despite being a waste of space, Aram was more than just a little disgruntled.  

By that point, even Ressler and Liz were annoyed with the guy, and couldn't wait to be rid of him.

Samar observed the expression on Aram's face, and decided not to push; she could read him easily enough to know he was seriously bothered by whatever was going on, but he hadn't said anything to her about it so far, and he seemed to be determined to play it cool. Nonetheless, as Aram quickly made a space on his desk for Leila's carrier, and Samar pulled up a chair to sit beside him, she made a mental note to keep an eye on Waller to see just how unpleasant he really was.

/*/*/*/*

'So, let me get this right,' Waller snickered across the war room to Aram, now back from the field and lazily leaning back against what had been Samar's desk before she went on leave, 'not only are you somehow hooked up with Agent Navabi here-' Waller paused for a split second to look Samar up and down, and she rolled her eyes in disgust- 'but you also have a _kid_? Like, you actually got _laid_?' Waller chortled to himself at the very idea and behind him, Ressler winced at the observation. Though, considering that he too, was irritated by Waller, Ressler also didn't bother to correct the assumption that Leila was Aram's; it would do absolutely nothing to counter the argument Waller was trying to make. Aram on the other hand, was very deliberately trying not to pay Waller any attention. Rather, he was intently focused on marking out the various crime scenes and other important case details on a map, trying to find a pattern. 'Oh, come on... You're going to ignore me? Fine,' Waller turned slightly on the spot to offer Samar a particularly arrogant smile, 'Navabi, what you even see in that _nerd_?'

Though still staring intently at the screen in front of him, Aram's hands stopped working at the keyboard, and he gritted his teeth and furrowed his brow as he braced himself, knowing that whatever came next _wasn't_ going to be pretty. Samar took a breath to try and calm herself; if this was the kind of thing Waller had been doing the entire case so far, she couldn't figure out for the life of her, why Aram wasn't _more_ disgruntled, or why nobody had done anything to stop it yet. But as she glanced around the room and noticed that Aram was not the only one silently gnashing his teeth together, but both Liz and Ressler as well, Samar concluded; perhaps they just hadn't quite reached the breaking point yet.  

But now, _she_ had.  

Samar had no patience for people like Waller.  

'You mean, besides the fact that without him, we wouldn't crack these cases half as fast as we do?' She said, her voice so eerily calm and yet somehow, still incredibly sharp. Waller simply rolled his eyes, and so Samar continued; 'he's smart, he's patient, he has hope when the rest of us have given up, he's kind to _everyone_ , and unlike you Waller, he's the kind of person who can rise above the crap people like you throw at him, just for the sake of keeping the case moving forwards, and not worrying the people around him.' Aram's gaze snapped suddenly to Samar at that final remark, while her voice rose louder and more adamant the longer she went on, until the smug smile had vanished from Waller's face entirely, and he simply stared back at her, dumbfounded. Waller gaped for a second, before finally opening his mouth to respond, but Samar cut him off; 'oh, go to hell, Waller.' She snapped, 'what are you going to do, complain some more?' Samar raised an eyebrow, _daring_ Waller to go ahead with whatever it was that he was going to say, but after locking eyes with her for a minute, and then apparently recognising that it wasn't going to him very far, Waller instead turned to Ressler.  
'You're the OIC, are you seriously going to let her talk to me like that?' He burst out furiously.  
'You know what?' Ressler growled back, 'you've been idling around, getting in our way throughout this whole case. We've been doing all the work, while you haven't moved an inch to help, all because you're too busy being an ass... And not just to Aram, but to _all_ of us. So yeah, I'm all for Samar talking to you like that, _pal_.' Ressler glowered at him, and Waller scowled back. It was like the Mexican standoff of angry facial expressions; with neither wanting to be the first to look away and concede defeat... But eventually, after perhaps a minute or two, Waller reached instead for his phone, pausing just a second longer to shoot Ressler one more particularly thunderous look, before raising his phone to his ear and storming away.  
  
'That's not going to go down well...' Aram mumbled to himself, warily eyeing Waller now standing by the elevator furiously yelling something into his phone about FBI insubordination, while he waited for door to open. Samar glanced sideways at the look of dread on Aram's face.  
'You're welcome,' she said, rather indignantly.   
'No, he's right,' Ressler reluctantly admitted, as Aram let out a small sigh and Samar turned her gaze back to Ressler in surprise, 'Waller's boss is a friend of Cooper's, the joint investigation was supposed to be some kind of favour.' Samar's eyes went wide in horror; _so that's why they had held out saying anything before now_...  
'Why didn't you stop me?' She gasped.   
'Because we've all been wanting to do the same thing for days,' Liz muttered darkly, before shooting Aram a small, proud smile, 'but Aram told us not to.' Ressler nodded in agreement; though Waller had been giving them all grief, his primary target had been Aram and yet, Aram had been the most patient with him, well beyond the point where Ressler and Liz each would have already snapped by now had the situation been less delicate. Ressler's own lip twitched a little as he glanced at Aram still sitting there, quietly and a little embarrassed by everyone staring at him in admiration.   
'Just _how_ badly is that not going to go down well?' Samar asked quietly.   
'Eh,' Ressler shrugged, holding back a laugh as they all watched Waller step into the elevator and disappear behind the rumbling doors, 'Cooper's been looking for a reason to kick him out too... And you're technically Mossad, not FBI, right? If anyone had to tell Waller to go to hell, it's probably best that it was you. Then we can argue it's technically not the Bureau's fault.' Samar nodded slowly; now that the heat of the moment was over and she'd had a few minutes to process what had just happened, it felt slightly awkward in hindsight to have said what she did about Aram. Samar usually wasn't one to make such declarations but in that moment, she had anyway... And now that Waller had gone, the others all directed their attention to her, slightly amused. Ressler's face was plastered with a smirk, and Liz's was lit up by a soft smile; it was far from a regular occurrence to hear Samar talk about anyone like that... But Aram seemed almost as embarrassed as Samar by the others' amusement at her outburst, so with a wordless, knowing glance shared between them, Liz and Ressler both decided to let it slide –for the moment, anyway.  

/*/*/*/*

Samar stepped out of the hallway and back into the living room after finally coaxing Leila to sleep. She paused, her steps slowing as she eyed Aram still sitting on the couch going over his final case notes.   
'Why didn't you tell me Waller was giving you a hard time?' She asked softly, taking the last few steps across the room and around the couch to stop in front of him. The reason why Waller's heckling hadn't been addressed at the office had been made clear enough, but Samar was a little hurt that after all that she had shared with Aram about her past, he hadn't confided in her at home about what was happening. Aram looked up from his notes and pushed them away, concern the only emotion displaying on his face.  
'I didn't want you to worry,' he murmured. Samar furrowed her brow as she dropped onto the couch beside him; she had figured out _that_ much for herself, and Aram had known she knew, ever since her outburst at the Post Office. 'I'm used to people like him giving people like me grief, it happens all the time.'  
'That doesn't mean it's ok.'  
'And I also knew that if I told you about it, you would be even more frustrated at not being at the Post Office.' Samar frowned, frustrated at the fact that he had a valid point, and she knew it. She let out a tiny sigh at Aram's sympathetic gaze; _she was trying to look out for him here, not the other way around!_  
'Alright, but for future reference...' Samar raised her eyebrows, looking at him pointedly, 'don't worry about me. I want to know, ok?' Aram shuffled uneasily in his seat, hesitating for a moment.   
'You're not the only one who doesn't like to admit when they know there's something they can't handle,' he observed, 'but... Ok.' Samar reached forward to gently tousle his hair, before shifting onto his lap and facing him, pressing a quick kiss to his lips.   
'Thank you,' she murmured.   
'Though,' Aram whispered back as she slowly pulled away –albeit only just, 'I _am_ a nerd, you know.' Samar shrugged nonchalantly.   
'Is that a bad thing?'   
'Uh, well... I don't know, _is_ it? I mean, I'm proud of it and all, but-' Aram began to stammer, but Samar's widening smile cut him short.   
'I don't think it's a bad thing. When I said we couldn't solve these cases without you, I meant it. You're just as important part of the team as the rest of us. You just have a different skillset, that's all.' Aram could only grin at just how matter-of-fact she was and how genuine she sounded, and he contentedly wound his arms around her waist as he always did. Samar paused for a moment, hesitant to overstep into what could be potentially considered 'cute' territory, but after entire debacle that had been the rest of the day thus far, she reluctantly let out a soft smile as she spoke again; 'that said, it doesn't mean people like Waller can make fun of you for it. You _are_ a nerd, but you're _my_ nerd. Only I get to make fun of you.' Aram's face lit up in amused delight.  
'And everyone else gets their ass kicked?' He asked, not even bothering to hold back a chuckle, 'by you?' Samar nodded, entirely serious.   
'Exactly.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Never forget... 'Pride' always has to come before a 'Fall'...
> 
> But next up; 'Ours'!


	31. Ours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Saturday, November 12, 2016.
> 
> Utterly shameless fluff chapter... One last dose of sweetness before all the things that come up next...

It had only been six minutes, and already Aram was anxious. Only six minutes standing in the side corridor of the mall with Leila but otherwise alone, while waiting for Samar to re-emerge from the ladies room, and he'd already had to politely rebuff two separate, smiling women who had not so subtly stopped to ask for 'directions'... And there was a third on the approach, her gaze focused intently on him.

It was that deadly combination of cute baby and no wedding ring.

It probably didn't help that in waiting for Samar, Aram had parked himself all of twelve feet or so down from the door to the ladies room, so there was a fairly steady stream of potential admirers wandering past. Aram didn't quite know what to do with himself; he had stood there patiently at first when Samar had quickly scurried off, his gaze directed only at Leila in her pram as he copied all her happy, little nonsense noises and repeated them back to her - _only_ looking up when someone stopped to talk to him. He certainly wasn't used to receiving quite so much attention in such a short time frame... So now he was nervous, and impatient for Samar to get through the queue and come back.

And he hoped that when she did, she wouldn't get the wrong idea.

'Oh, isn't your daughter just _so_ sweet?' Gushed the approaching woman as she finally came to stop in front of him. That was the other thing Aram was cautious about; the assumptions of strangers. Of course, he raised, and loved, and thought of Leila as his own, and for all intents and purposes, Samar generally seemed to approach the situation in the same fashion, but it was far from official, and for the sake of not giving the wrong impression they both tended to remain vague on the subject in public... But whether or not to correct strangers was something they still didn't have a consistent approach for just yet.  
'Uhhh,' Aram stammered, 'she is very sweet, yes.' His daughter or not, Leila _was_ sweet, and Aram figured that might just be the easiest response. Out of the corner of his eye, he noted Samar exiting the bathroom into the corridor, and pausing as she took in his apparent state of ambush. His heart rate quickened slightly as Samar began to walk back towards him, a deliberately neutral expression on her face, and he wished desperately for the middle aged, redheaded woman to leave him alone.

But she didn't leave. No matter how intently Aram was now looking at Samar strolling back to him, the redheaded woman just didn't get the hint.

Aram tried not to cringe at the overly sweet, fake smile Samar put on as she sidled up to him and wrapped herself around one of his arms.  
'Hi honey,' she chirped, kissing him on the cheek before looking pointedly at the redheaded woman, 'who's your new friend?' A brief flash of horror crossed the woman's face, understanding exactly what Samar's tone really meant.  
'Oh, no, I just stopped for a second to say how sweet your baby is,' she said quickly. The woman glanced awkwardly back and forth between Leila, Samar, and Aram, her eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights, before suddenly turning on her heels and hurrying away. Samar eyed the woman in mock suspicion as she disappeared into the distance, not really fazed at all.   
'Sorry,' Aram said, glancing at her sheepishly. Samar shrugged her shoulders, and her lip quirked up.  
'What are you apologising for? _She_ was the one who approached you, right?' Aram nodded hurriedly.   
'Right.'  
'So, there you go. Nothing you can do about that, unfortunately. It's not your fault Leila's so adorable...' Samar let out a brief sigh of mock exasperation, 'it's mine, _obviously_.'  
'You're not mad?' Aram asked cautiously, brow furrowed. Samar simply scoffed.  
'At _you?_ No. I trust you,' she grinned, all too amused by the situation, 'and you're blushing, it's hilarious.'  
'Then why the whole spectacle?'   
'Because she was making you uncomfortable, and you know I don't like it when people do that,' Samar narrowed her eyes at the very idea, and again even more so as another thought came to her; 'plus, she was swooping like a vulture over Leila...' She paused, finally grinning again –albeit guiltily this time, 'and, it _was_ kind of fun.' As far as Samar was concerned, the lack of wedding ring was no excuse for anyone to assume Aram was up for the taking. Leila was barely three months old, and Aram was standing outside the ladies room for goodness sakes. He was _clearly_ waiting for someone. On top of that, Samar was all too eager to unleash her scarier side again, and she _so_ rarely had a chance to do so while on maternity leave... _Thank goodness it was almost over_. She gestured for them to start moving forwards again, and Aram did so, finally chuckling to himself.   
'I really don't understand you sometimes,' he mused. He also didn't understand why she found his state of ambush so funny rather than worrisome, but then again... Aram wasn't all that concerned; he was content to simply take it as yet another incidence where Samar didn't make sense, as per usual. That was part of what he loved about her; she was totally unpredictable.   
'Only sometimes?' Samar shot him a wry smile, 'huh, you must be a smart guy.'

/*/*/*/*

Moving along from the bathroom, and on towards the next thing on their mall agenda for the weekend, found Aram and Samar in what was quickly becoming an all too familiar scenario; staring at a selection of babywear. Leila had recently had another small growth spurt, and that meant some of her smaller clothes were starting to fit a little too tight for comfort... So there they were, starting all over again, looking for the first few new things in the next size up. In the process, Samar had stopped gleefully at the sight of a white onesie with navy blue edging, and scattered with a print of navy and orange arrows.

And not the directional kind of arrows, but the 'bow and arrow' kind of arrows.  

'Arrows? For a _baby?_ Why don’t you just go all out and buy a onesie with Glocks on it?'' Aram exclaimed, mildly horrified, as Samar held it up for him to see. Weaponry –no matter what kind- wasn't something he considered an appropriate theme for children's clothes, and he was amazed that any store would sell something like that. Samar on the other hand, wasn't fazed by the arrows in the slightest. Rather, she thought it was cute.  
'Ooh...' Samar began, in mock surprise and seriousness. Her eyes twinkled in amusement at the exasperated look on Aram's face, 'they _make_ those?' Aram raised his eyes to the ceiling and shook his head, knowing she was just teasing, and then let out a small sigh as Samar dropped the onesie with the arrows straight into her basket and continued onwards without a single second's extra thought on the idea; clearly, it wasn't up for debate.   
'Fine, she's _your_ baby,' Aram muttered, both half exasperated and half genuinely amused, and still following along closely behind her. He dropped his gaze for a moment to Leila in her pram staring up at him, and grinned as he whispered to her; 'I know I've said this before, but your mom's crazy, kiddo.'  
'I love how she's _my_ baby when I annoy you, and _our_ baby when you want something,' Samar muttered back, glancing briefly over her shoulder at him and raising a single, wry eyebrow, as she continued browsing. Without responding, Aram cast his own gaze around the selection of baby clothing displays all in various colours and patterns, and suddenly stopped in his tracks, his entire face lighting up with delight. It took only a second for Samar to realise that behind her, Aram had stopped following, and she turned to look at him quizzically, before quickly following his gaze.  
'No,' she said, as she realised what he was looking at.   
' _Our_ baby, then?' He asked, his eyes _pleading_ with her.   
'Still no.'  
'You picked arrows,' Aram protested. 'You pick something, I pick something.'  
'Fine,' Samar sighed, 'but you can only pick _one_.' Aram's face broke into a wide grin the second she relented, bouncing a step forward on the balls of his feet, reaching out and then suddenly pulling back his hand... Unable to decide which _one_ superhero onesie was cuter than all the others. For a minute or two, he lingered wordlessly over the Avengers themed ones, seriously considering the bright blue onesie emblazoned with the Captain America shield. Then, Aram stepped back again to take in the full selection, frowning in annoyance at the observation that whichever staff member in the store who set up the display, hadn't bothered to separate the choices between DC and Marvel. Instead, they were all jumbled together in one big mess. Aram let out a small huff as his gaze swept across the display once more, all the while Samar waited patiently -and without interrupting- by his side for him to make up his mind. She wasn't at all fazed which one Aram chose, Samar was too preoccupied with being exasperated by the notion that any kind of superhero themed item was going to end up in Leila's wardrobe at all. Aram's face lit up again as he made his final decision, and held it up for Samar to see; a bright red onesie, with a gold, seemingly winged 'W' backed by a blue and white star spangled circle.  

Samar recognised the logo, and tried earnestly to hold back an amused smirk at the choice.

'Wonder Woman, _really?_ ' She asked drolly. Anything, to stop herself from laughing.   
'Yeah, like her Mom,' Aram chirped, dropping it into the basket on top of the arrow patterned onesie, and ever so innocently tilting his head to kiss Samar's cheek.   
'Flattery will get you everywhere,' she chuckled.   
'I noticed.' Aram simply winked at her, all too pleased with himself.   
'Wait a minute...' Samar started, suddenly narrowing her eyes, 'Wonder Woman is the Princess of the Amazons.' She eyed him in mock suspicion, already knowing that Aram well and truly considered Leila his little princess.   
'Ooh, look who knows their superhero trivia,' he jokingly gasped, choosing to completely ignore her implication. Samar rolled her eyes.   
'No, I just pay attention to your rambling,' she said, as sweetly as she could muster, 'but on that note, are you trying to turn my baby into a superhero nerd?'  
'I love how she's _your_ baby when I annoy you, and _our_ baby when you want something,' Aram shot back at her in amusement, echoing Samar's own, earlier observation. Samar narrowed her eyes again.  
'Just don't try to turn her into Wonder Woman,' she grumbled, albeit only  half-heartedly, while taking another step forwards to try and continue moving on through the store. It was too difficult not to find Aram's delight at least partly entertaining.   
'Of course not, she's more like Wonder _Girl_.' Aram said indignantly, shaking his head in mock exasperation at her silliness, and Samar furrowed her brow in confusion at how matter of fact the declaration was but nonetheless, she kept moving forwards, and Aram followed eagerly –now letting out a cheesy grin. 'My Wonder Woman is nearly five ten, absolutely gorgeous-' he continued as they shuffled along, Samar only pausing to roll her eyes at him as it all suddenly made sense, '-and if she had a dollar for every time she rolled her eyes at me, she'd probably be a millionaire by now.'  
'Only a millionaire?' Samar scoffed, finally stopping again to shoot him a look, 'Aram, I think you missed a few.'  
'Rolling your eyes in your sleep at whatever you're dreaming about, doesn't count,' he quipped in response. Samar ignored the comment, instead amazed by how he was growing steadily more confident and cheeky when it came to teasing her, the longer they were together. They still probably needed a few more items, and another one had just caught her eye. She pointed it out to Aram, tilting her head quizzically.   
'Our baby?' She suggested, her lip quirking up. He glanced at what she was pointing at; a pastel, multicoloured, striped onesie, with a little, green dinosaur on the front accompanied by a speech bubble saying 'ROARsome!' A grin creeped across Aram's face, spreading quickly from ear to ear, and he nodded, searching through the rack for one in the correct size, and then promptly adding it to the basket.   
' _Our_ baby.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmm... So perhaps Samar isn't quite on the same page as Ressler after all...
> 
> Next up, kicks off that arc I was talking about. Samar finally heads back to work in a chapter titled 'Disaster'... 
> 
> I hope you'll keep following along! Questions, comments are always loved!


	32. Disaster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Monday, November 21, 2016.
> 
> Because I cannot contain myself, or wait patiently for a few more days to start posting this arc... Here we go!
> 
> Take note; the following four chapters contain flash depictions of canon-typical violence and then eventually, some hospital scenes.

**_MONDAY..._ **

'Ready?' Aram asked, an amused grin plastered _all_ over his face. It felt strange, having Samar there by his side again as he rode the elevator from the car park in the basement, to the war room above -but it was strange in the best possible way. Samar nodded; she had been counting down the days to this moment.

 _Finally_... Her maternity leave was over, and it was time to get back to work.

'Ready.' The elevator doors rumbled open, and they took the first few steps into the war room... _Together_.   
'You're going to miss Leila,' Aram warned, albeit gently. Samar rolled her eyes as she shifted her gaze briefly to Leila in her arms, then back to Aram; he had been telling her that all morning.  
'I'll be fine,' she said, but there was a determined edge to her voice that Aram noted, and took to mean that it was time for him to stop bringing it up. Truth be told, after so many weeks away from work, the idea of suddenly leaving Leila at the Post Office child care centre did have Samar feeling a little hesitant, but she was eager to get back to work, just as much. She just had to keep reminding herself that the child care facility at the Post Office was _more_ than adequate and not to mention, still within the same building -and that it was all a matter of getting used to new habits all over again. They wandered further into the war room, only to find that so far, nobody else on the team had arrived yet. With her free hand, Samar dropped her bag under her desk as she always had done before, then slowly looked around the room, taking it all in. Aram went about his usual business of turning on all the various computers and other equipment, before returning to her side.  

Her next task was to duck downstairs to the child care centre and sign Leila in for the day... But Samar was hesitating before taking those first few steps away from her desk.

Aram draped his arm around her shoulders, giving her a quick, reassuring squeeze.   
'Do you want me to come with you?' He murmured. Samar adamantly shook her head.  
'No, I can manage.' Samar would be just fine, and she knew it –she just had to stop overthinking it... But that was difficult when Aram kept making a big deal of it. She wished they could just focus on something entirely different instead; like the fact that his parents were arriving the next day, for their promised Thanksgiving visit.   
'Hey... It's ok to be nervous,' Aram prompted, 'Liz was hesitant about leaving Sammy on her first week back too.'  
'I know, she texted me when she was walking back up here, that first day she left Sammy downstairs...' Samar shot him a wry smile as she paused for a second, 'I'm honestly not sure who cried more.'

/*/*/*/*

Samar returned to the war room from downstairs, not as quickly as she had thought, but still quicker than what Aram had expected. He looked up curiously from his desk as she stepped back into the room, studying the expression on her face.   
'I didn't cry,' she announced, with a certain air of stubbornness, as she stopped once again beside his desk. Aram maintained a neutral expression, letting her stand there in her quiet stubbornness without interruption. There was no point in asking her to elaborate further, it would only irritate her, and she would undoubtedly do it anyway if he waited long enough. 'I _may_ have stood there for a few minutes after I signed her in, not really wanting to leave,' Samar reluctantly relented, after all of a minute or two. It took everything Aram had, not to let out an amused smile at that particular observation. 'But... I _did_ leave, and I did _not_ cry.' Samar pursed her lips, determined not to let it get to her. Aram discreetly reached across the desk, and gently squeezed her hand where it sat on the edge, just as Samar suddenly opened her mouth to speak again. 'If I'm in the field, and there's an issue... You'll go and check on her, right?' Aram raised an eyebrow at the sudden level of stress in her voice. He quickly gave a reassuring nod.  
'Of course.'  
'Right,' Samar said, steeling herself again, 'then we're good to go. Do we have a case yet?'

'Not just yet,' came Ressler's voice, with a touch of amusement as he too, walked into the room. He came to a stop at the other end of Aram's desk, letting out a soft smile. It was odd seeing Samar back in the room after so long –and visits aside. But it was the good kind of odd, and it felt right. 'How's Leila this morning?' He added. Aram shot him a warning look.  
'She's _fine_ ,' Samar snapped, a little more harsh than intended. She immediately winced at the flash of shock on Ressler's face, annoyed by the fact that her anxiety was getting to her more than she had hoped, but... _Couldn't everyone just stop bringing it up?_ Ressler took a half step back, lightly raising one hand in a gesture of peace –to his credit, not arguing back but rather, recognising that it was apparently a touchy subject. He was still conflicted over whether to discuss the boundaries with her, and he had been hoping that once she settled back into work again, an opportunity would arise naturally. But clearly, that might take a while. Ressler resisted the urge to let out a bitter sigh, knowing that it wouldn't help the situation at all if he did, but still so desperate to have that conversation.

Thankfully, before anyone had to break the silence with awkward smalltalk, Liz walked in too.

' _Please_ tell me we have a case,' Samar said hurriedly, the second Liz was in earshot.  
'Good morning to you too,' Liz chuckled –albeit only briefly- as she joined the rest of them around Aram's desk. She could see straight away that Samar's coping mechanism of choice was the need for distraction, and she wasn't at all surprised. After all, Liz had been much the same herself during those first few days of leaving Sammy. With that in mind, Liz knew exactly not to ask Samar if she was ok, or how Leila was. 'I do have a case, actually,' she said sagely, pausing only to note the flash of relief suddenly crossing Samar's face. 'Reddington called me this morning, apparently there's a war brewing between organised crime families, and a band of businessmen running some kind of insurance fraud scheme.'

/*/*/*/*

To be more specific, two separate major organised crime families had stumbled across what they thought was a _small_ insurance fraud scheme, and blackmailed who they thought was running it, as an additional source of income. But as it turned out, the man who was really running the scheme, had partly exposed it to those two families on purpose, setting up the agreements with them as a front, and as a form of protection for himself. From there, the conflict had escalated, with each of the two crime families realising that they were being used, and that they had each been double crossed... The three groups –the two families, and the fraudsters- had then broken out into all out war, trying to take each other out. At first, Reddington had been unfazed by it all; as Samar too, had pointed out –criminals taking each other out basically did the FBI's job for them. But by now, the conflict had spread so far, it was starting to impact Reddington's own business and thus, it was time to bring the fight to an end.  

Not to mention –and this was the selling point for Ressler- it would allow them to finally close some _huge_ , open cold cases.  

Reddington had all the evidence necessary to prove what was happening plus, it hadn't exactly been hidden. Sprees of drive-by shootings and a recent string of particularly vicious murders where the victims were all suspected members of crime families, didn't easily bypass the view of the FBI. The first problem was connecting them all, which was where Reddington's evidence came in. The second problem, and the larger one at that, was that the man who ran the entire scheme, stayed off the grid. Not even Reddington had a clear idea of who or where he was... Simply that he went by the name 'Maxwell', and that he had a reputation for taking a particularly sadistic approach to his business dealings.  

But with the combination of Reddington's extended contacts, and all the FBI's resources, they had found a potential location -and that was where Ressler, Samar, and Liz found themselves now... Waiting outside with a SWAT team, ready to breach.  

One by one, they cleared each room, moving systematically from the front of the house to the back... And all of a sudden the strange sensation of having returned to work disappeared; all of a sudden, and slowly but surely working her way through that house, her weapon drawn, and surrounded by her team... It came back to her so naturally, Samar felt as if everything was normal again –like this was where she was supposed to be. She cleared one room, then another, all the while listening out for the same yells of 'clear' from Liz and Ressler, before moving on to her final area to clear; the back of the house. Cautiously as always, she continued onwards.

And then all of a sudden, everything was decidedly _not_ normal.

A pair of arms suddenly grabbed her from behind, the body they belonged to having jumped out from the other half of a fork in the passageway she had just stepped out of. Samar fought back as her weapon was knocked from her hands, fiercely kicking out at her attacker and pushing back with her elbows, but whoever it was that had snuck up behind her was stronger... And Samar went dead still as she suddenly felt the cool metal of a gun pressed firmly against the side of her head, just as Ressler and Liz appeared at the back of the house... Their weapons both pointed directly at the attacker behind her.  

A hauntingly familiar pang of guilt rocked Ressler's gut as he narrowed his eyes, watching the scene before him unfold. The man with his gun to Samar's head was now slowly dragging her backwards... And much to Ressler's dismay, the backyard wasn't the closed off yard they had first thought it was. Rather, it was open ended, filled with scattered trees, pieces of half wall, and sections of dirt road that lead far enough away that he couldn't see the end of it. Ressler eyed the man, and all that came to mind was the almost identical situation a year earlier; where in the hunt for the Troll Farmer, he had taken that wild, reckless shot at the gang member who had dragged Samar outside and put a gun to her head. This time, much like then, Ressler didn't have a shot. But this time, and _unlike_ then, this particular attacker wasn't in an enclosed space, and he was trying to pull Samar away. Samar locked eyes with Ressler, the very same memory flashing vividly in her own mind as she subtly shook her head; enough for Ressler and Liz to see, but not so much as to alert the erratically moving man behind her... And Ressler understood. She was shaking her head no... _Don't do it. Not this time_.  

But he hesitated all the same.  

Ressler had managed it once, it was possible he could do it again. _But did he really want to risk it this time?_ This time, the risk was different. This time, she had Leila, and the idea of his risky shot potentially killing the mother of his child –no matter how little regard they often had for one _another_ \- was one Ressler couldn't bear. And this time, the attacker wasn't pointing his weapon in a last ditch, desperate effort. This attacker had a way out, he was simply using Samar to get there unimpeded. In that case, though Samar couldn't easily escape being held with a gun to her head, she did have a chance of escape further away... When the man with the gun thought he was no longer being chased, and relaxed his hold on both her and his weapon.   
'Ressler, _no_ ,' Liz hissed across the doorway to him. Her gaze was flickering back and forth between Samar, and Ressler, anxiously watching each wait for the other to make a move, and she had arrived at much the same conclusion. 'You don't have a shot.' Now staring intently at Samar, Liz slowly lowered her own weapon, hoping _desperately_ that Samar could fight back once every other weapon was surrendered as well. Samar meanwhile, was still locking eyes with Ressler. Out of the corner of her eye, she had noticed Liz lower her weapon, but Ressler hadn't yet done the same. She shook her head again, and _finally_ –albeit with firmly gritted teeth- Ressler lowered his own weapon, opting not to try and take that risky shot again like he did a year earlier.  

With no more weapons pointed at him, Samar's attacker pulled her sharply backwards, dragging her along the dirt road, and with his own gun still pointed directly at her. There was no way he would put it down while the FBI was so close behind. She was his leverage, to stop them from giving chase. Ressler watched her be dragged away, counting down in his mind, the seconds until he would be out of the attacker's view, and therefore able to make a run for it. As soon as he could, he did –with Liz right behind him. They darted back out the front of the house and around the side, hoping to cut the assailant off as he made his way out the back...

But it was too late. The gap was too great. Ressler rounded that corner just in time to see Samar shoved in the back of an old, windowless van, and her attacker dash to jump in the front. Ressler broke into a sprint, a breath catching in his throat as the van appeared to have difficulty starting. _He was so close... The doors to the van were just inches from his grasp..._

Ressler made the jump for it, just as the van finally started to roll forward out of his reach, then quickly lurch forward and accelerate.

There was nothing he could do. He couldn't run as fast as a speeding van. Ressler swore, kicking the dirt into the air in anger and frustration as he watched that van drive away. Not taking the shot had been the right decision, there was no debating it... But now they had to race to find Samar, before it was too late.  

/*/*/*/*

' _How could you let them take her away?_ ' Aram's furious voice still rang in Ressler's ears. In monitoring the communications during the raid on the house, Aram had heard everything right as it happened. He had kept quiet during the standoff, so that everyone could concentrate... But now in the aftermath, Aram could barely contain himself. It was a rare opportunity that one saw him so upset –generally only if something serious happened to one of his beloved team... But this certainly qualified. Aram had only needed to ask once, before Ressler had to resort to taking his earpiece out of his ear; he was already asking himself the same question, and he didn't need Aram in his ear, echoing those anxious thoughts. Ressler jumped into the driver's seat of his SUV, slamming the door shut behind him, and all too ready to get back to the war room and find the perpetrator once and for all... All the while, Liz tried hopelessly to calm Aram over the phone.

/*/*/*/*

Hours passed, with little progress. It shouldn't have come as a surprise; they had known Reddington wasn't kidding when he said Maxwell stayed completely off the grid and frankly, finding that first location had been a near miracle in itself. The van that had driven Samar away had come back as stolen, as had the mismatching plates. Nonetheless, the team worked tirelessly, hoping with each turn of a file page, tap of a keyboard, or call from the lab analysing evidence from the house, that something, _anything_ , would reveal another clue. Liz and Aram's eyes were both puffy –determined to work non-stop until Samar was found, but still otherwise unable to conceal the fact that they were devastated by the turn of events.  

Of all the possible days for Samar to return to work, it had to be the one where disaster struck.

The sound of Cooper's heavy footsteps marching down the metal staircase from his office above them, was the first thing to jolt them from their frenzied search all afternoon.   
'So, I just had a call from Social Services...' He muttered, through gritted teeth of his own, as he came to a stop by Aram's desk. It seemed to have become the go-to space for all of them as they worked together. Liz, Aram and Ressler all looked up in alarm.  
'About Leila... _Already?'_ Liz asked, her face contorting in sheer disbelief. Aram did a double take.   
'How do they even know?' He hurriedly protested, 'everything here is supposed to be classified...'   
'I'm not sure, but figuring _that_ out can wait until _after_ we find Samar,' Cooper said, rather pointedly. 'In the meantime, they're raising eyebrows over the fact that Leila's only legal guardian is missing.'  
'Wait, hold on a min-' Ressler began, with a touch of indignation.  
'-What about me?' Aram interjected, just as quickly. They both swapped confused, frustrated glances, before looking expectantly back to Cooper... But it was Liz instead, who spoke up.  
'Neither of you are _legally_ her guardians,' she pointed out, with a weary sigh. Ressler growled under his breath, internally cursing himself for having agreed to leave his name off Leila's birth certificate. It had seemed like such a good idea at the time, but this was a scenario that neither he, nor Samar, had thought of.  
'We're only a few days shy of Thanksgiving, so they'll have trouble placing her,' Cooper observed, gently raising one hand in a failed attempt to soothe their panicking, 'and I can negotiate for her to be released into protective custody with us.'  
'You can only do that if there's a threat to her safety,' Aram said quickly, his voice rising in fear that there was something the others hadn't told him, 'is there?' Cooper raised an eyebrow.   
'Not that we _know_ of,' he said, glancing at Aram rather pointedly again, 'but Social Services doesn't know the case details, and for all we know, Samar could have been specifically targeted.'  
'So... You're lying to them?' Ressler asked warily. They could all read between the lines, and it was clear what Cooper was doing. Social Services might have somehow figured out that Samar was missing, but they hadn't taken that extra step and figured out _why_... And Cooper was taking advantage of that.   
'We take care of our own.' Cooper paused, emphasising his point with a determined nod, 'the least I can do, is try to buy us some time while we find Samar.' Aram let out as appreciative a smile as he could muster, given the circumstances.  
'Thank you,' he murmured... But he spoke too soon. Cooper hadn't finished yet.   
'But I can only do so much,' Cooper added warningly. 'If they don't want to release Leila into FBI custody, it's out of my hands. If you don't find Samar soon, you'll need to brace for other possibilities.' Aram's face crumpled as Cooper turned and walked away, presumably back to his office to resume the fierce battle by phone with Social Services.   
'They can't just take her away, can they?' Aram wailed, as soon as Cooper was out of earshot. He took a breath, steeling himself as he shook his head in angry determination; 'I _won't_ let them take her.'  
'Me neither,' Liz shook her own head just as adamantly –the very idea of the same thing happening to her, and Sammy possibly being under the same threat, now flashing through her mind. A brief silence fell between the three of them, Liz and Aram now both looking expectantly at Ressler for agreeance.   
'I don't want them to take her either,' he muttered quietly. Ressler's brow was furrowed, his mind running elsewhere as he tried to figure out a solution but couldn't think of one; 'but what are you going to do, exactly?' Aram paused, hesitant, before speaking again.  
'I might have a crazy idea.' Liz and Ressler instantly snapped their gazes to him, simultaneously alarmed _and_ curious.  
' _Please_ don't tell me you're going to kidnap her,' sighed Ressler.   
'No,' Aram said hurriedly, scowling at the very idea, 'Social Services is intervening, because Leila only has one legal guardian. What if we give her another one?' Liz sadly shook her head.   
'You can't just adopt her as a stepparent, you need Samar's signature,' she lamented.  
' _I_ can't...' Aram slowly shifted his gaze from Liz to Ressler, 'but _you_ don't need Samar's signature to file for paternity.' Ressler's eyes went wide, instantly remembering what Samar had said to him when they first discussed the idea of leaving his name off Leila's birth certificate, as Aram eagerly continued; 'if you file, I can hack into the department and expedite the process. That might stall Social Services.'  
'It might,' Ressler slowly exhaled, contemplating the idea, 'but Samar left my name off for a reason, would she really want this?' As good a plan as it was, Ressler was hesitant about doing it without having spoken to Samar first. Every step of the way, before Leila was born, Samar had spoken to him about anything that affected both of them, even when she didn't technically have to... And Ressler was cautious about taking such a huge risk without paying her that same courtesy. Just the very idea of potentially having the opportunity to add his name to the certificate, had Ressler's gut churning up all those anxieties about wanting to be a part of Leila's life, _all_ over again. _Plus_ , Ressler's agent brain that could never be turned off, reared its ugly head in the back of his mind; _hacking was a felony_.   
'Considering the circumstances,' Liz began softly, 'I think Samar would just want Leila to be safe. She'll understand.' Aram shot him a pleading look; none of them trusted Social Services or wanted Leila taken away. Ressler took another deep breath.   
'Ok,' he sighed, 'Cooper should be able to buy us time until Thursday. How about... We call this a last resort; if we don't find Samar by Wednesday afternoon, I'll go straight to the courthouse.' Reluctantly, but sensing and understanding Ressler's apprehension, Liz and Aram both nodded their assent to the compromise.

And with that in mind, they quickly broke their team huddle, determined to get back to work.

/*/*/*/*

'How did the FBI find the house?' That was probably the tenth time that the man who had dragged Samar away, asked her that question, his voice growing louder and more angry with each repetition. Now, she was tied tightly to a chair, in the middle of a concrete room. It was vaguely reminiscent of the war room, if the war room was gutted and left with nothing but the concrete slabs and pillars. But it had that same high ceiling, and the same lack of windows. Samar had thought that once the van that took her away had stopped, she would have an opportunity to push past her attacker and escape when he opened the door to pull her out.  

But apparently, he had anticipated exactly that.

As those doors had opened, and the sudden stream of sunlight had glared into Samar's eyes again, she had noticed not just one armed man standing there, but four... And no matter how skilled she was, the chances of her –unarmed- taking out four wide built, heavily armed men on her own, were slim. So they had dragged her out of the van, and into the concrete compound, throwing her into the chair in the centre of the room and tying her down so tightly that the aged, rough rope was already grazing against her skin.

'How did the FBI find the house?' The man yelled again. Samar stayed silent, she hadn't breathed a word since being taken, and she wasn't planning on starting any time soon. She glowered at the man, throwing him what was the filthiest, most furious look she could muster. Frustrated by the lack of response, the man's hand suddenly came out of nowhere and collided with her face, making the chair wobble dangerously before settling back in its place. Samar gasped in pain, but steeled herself a second later, clenching her teeth.  

It took so much more than that to break her.  

The man paced angrily back and forth across the dirty, concrete floor in front of her, and Samar watched him, the look of sheer disdain for him clearly evident on her face.   
'What else do they know?' He eventually asked, apparently switching tactics. 'Who told you where to find me?' A breath caught in Samar's throat, but she maintained the same disdainful expression, determined not to let her surprise show. This man was the apparent leader of the four who had dragged her away, he was the one asking the questions, and he seemed awfully concerned about the fact that _he_ , specifically, had been found by the FBI... _Could he be the infamous Maxwell?_ ' _Who_ told you where to find me?' Maxwell asked once more. Samar stayed silent, and another slap struck her face. She growled under her breath; there was no way she was going to give up Reddington as the taskforce's source –the resulting implications from doing so were far too broad, and far too dangerous. Not to mention, she was still holding out, trying to figure out an escape plan... And hoping that the team would find her. Maxwell leaned down over her, his face no more than two inches from hers. She could smell his putrid breath, and feel its warmth on her face. Samar forced herself to hold back a shudder. She couldn't let him see anything get to her. 'Do you know what I'm going to do to you if you don't talk?' He whispered. Maxwell pulled his gun from his holster, quickly pushing it once again to her head. 'If you don't talk,' he paused, his eyes narrowing menacingly, 'I'm going to put one of these bullets between your eyes.'  
'And even if I do talk, you're still going to kill me anyway,' Samar spat back in his face. Maxwell holstered his gun, sneering at her.   
'Maybe,' he began slowly, sounding almost gleeful about the idea, as he stepped back from her, 'or maybe, I'll try ransoming you back to your FBI friends first, as an added bonus. You might not break so easily, but I wonder if they will... If I tell them a _long_ , detailed spiel about all the things I could do to you if they don't cooperate.' Samar simply scowled in response, as Maxwell paused just long enough to see the look on her face and laugh. He ambled around her chair, a completely casual air about his stride, before suddenly turning at lightening speed, swinging his leg around in a powerful kick that collided sharply with her side. Samar's chair went crashing sideways and down upon impact, she barely had time to let out another gasp of pain, before she landed hard on the concrete floor... Her still bound arms and legs unable to do anything to cushion the fall. All she could do was instinctively duck her head towards her chest to at least reduce the thump against the ground, absorbing the worst of the impact with her shoulder and side instead. Nonetheless, it only took a second or two for her head to start pounding, and she looked up from the floor in a daze... Just long enough to see Maxwell stroll out of the room, cackling to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Slight cliffhanger... Sorry! I guess you'll just have to keep an eye out for the next chapter; 'Missing'.


	33. Missing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Monday-Tuesday, November 21-22, 2016.
> 
> And so it continues! Not quite as much action in this one... More searching and the beginning of emotional fallout than anything else. Feelings are such complicated things!

**_MONDAY NIGHT..._ **

The team worked late into the night, trying to figure out where Samar had been taken. By now at least, they had figured out just as Samar had, that the man who took her was indeed Maxwell, himself –not that such information really helped them find Samar much at all, considering Maxwell was known for determinedly staying off the grid. Reddington, understanding the steadily escalating urgency, had put word out to more of his extended contacts, searching for any kind of further information... And that had led to the team raiding two more properties, and questioning at least a half dozen suspects. They'd had their hands full all day, but they'd had no luck. None of the leads they had pursued in their mad frenzy had brought them any closer to finding Samar, or the maniac they were chasing who had captured her.  

At the very least, Cooper had managed to wrangle an agreement out of Social Services that allowed Leila to be placed under FBI custody for a couple more days until Thanksgiving –which was to say, she was allowed to go home with Aram… _For now_. With that in mind, by eleven o'clock Cooper had ordered both Aram and Liz to go home, for Leila and Sammy's sakes. They both protested, despite the irrationality of it but Cooper's orders were final, and so off they went... Liz insisting that they at least stick together so neither of them were alone in their anxiety and inability to cook dinner.  

Aram stood by the elevator, waiting for the doors to open. Liz had gone on ahead to pick up a few things from home, maintaining that she would meet him back at Samar's place, as Aram had gone through the process of systematically shutting down his computers. So now Aram stood there, his bag swung over one shoulder, and carrying Leila in the other arm after having already picked her up from the child care centre. Ressler hurried past him, and then stopped to do a double take at the sight of Leila starting to fuss. He hesitated, feeling partly as if taking care of Leila should be _his_ responsibility if Samar was out of action, and frustratedly eyeing the way Aram seemed to have a handle on settling her so easily. Ressler bit his lip, wishing he could reach out to the little one in Aram's arms... Still, he hadn't held her again since the day she was born, and the internal conflict over it ate away at him more and more each day. Without even thinking it through, he changed directions, taking a few quick steps over to where Aram stood by the elevator doors, and stopping sharply beside him. Aram looked up at Ressler's sudden appearance, but Ressler's gaze was directed intently at Leila.   
'Is she going to be ok?' He murmured, gingerly reaching forward to gently stroke Leila's cheek. Aram hesitated before responding, cautiously eyeing the look on Ressler's face, and knowing exactly what idea he was grappling with –and what Ressler was really asking.  
'All her things are at Samar's place,' Aram said quickly, and probably a little more defensively than he would have liked, before suddenly correcting himself; 'uh, I mean, _our_ place.' He glanced pointedly at Ressler, 'it makes more sense for me to take her home, it'll be more familiar for her... Less stressful.' It was a delicate situation, but Aram couldn't help but feel protective; he was the one who was there with Leila and Samar every day... He was the one who helped run baths, change diapers, read stories, and settle distressed wails in the middle of the night. Ressler didn't do that, and as far as both Samar and Aram knew; Ressler was still sticking to the agreement not to be a part of Leila's life, because no matter how conflicted Ressler was, he still hadn't said anything to the contrary. Aram might not have played that vital role that Ressler had, but he loved Leila just as much... And by now felt almost insulted by the idea that after everything, he could be expected to just give her up all because Samar was missing, in favour of the man who didn't have the first clue about Leila's sleeping routines, feeding schedule, favourite toys, or which songs or stories settled her compared to those that made her cry even more. Ressler taking care of her right now just wouldn't be practical... And it would only make things _more_ stressful.  

But it was all a matter of being polite about it.

Aram also knew that Ressler at the very least, wanted to put Leila first –that was why he had made that original decision... So there was a delicate balance between making his point, while still being considerate.   
'She'll be ok,' Aram spoke again, a little more emphatically this time. Ressler gave a reluctant nod of understanding as the elevator doors opened and Aram stepped away from him. He stood for a few seconds, watching Leila disappear behind those rumbling doors, before frustratedly trying to snap himself out of it.  

He had work to do.

/*/*/*/*

By the time the combined lack of cooking expertise of both Aram and Liz had managed to put together something a little more substantial than grilled cheese sandwiches or microwave meals, and not to mention, go through the whole process of trying to keep Leila and Sammy to some kind of routine and putting them to bed –Sammy gently placed at the other end of Leila's crib, which felt a little strange but Aram and Liz figured, the crib was more than big enough for both, and it was _only_ for a few hours- it was well after midnight. Few words had been exchanged beyond those needed for them to work together, but not in a negative sense. They were both exhausted, anxious, and their minds were wandering elsewhere... Desperately wishing that wherever Samar was, she was ok. It was a rare case where at this point, they still had no leads whatsoever, and that only made things a hundred times worse. For each other's sake, they had both tried to appear strong, knowing that if one of them broke down, the other promptly would too... But Aram was finding it more and more difficult as the night went on, to hold in his fear and Liz too, was growing more nervous by the hour that her best friend might be gone. They had what was essentially a sister-like bond by now and after everything else, Liz couldn't bear the idea that she might suddenly lose Samar almost as quickly as they had grown so close in the first place. So instead she and Aram clung to each other, finding a twisted sense of comfort in the simple presence and shared, thoughtful quiet.  

Dinner and dishes done, and both little ones finally fast asleep, Aram let out a yawn as they both peeked over the edge of the crib and stared down at the two sleepy smiles, their tiny owners totally oblivious to what was going on around them.   
'I should probably go,' Liz mumbled, through a yawn of her own. Aram furrowed his brow; it was so late, it was early... And they were both tired. It didn't make sense for Liz to leave now, and drive in that condition.   
'No,' he murmured back, 'Sammy's asleep, don't wake her again. I'll just take the couch.' Liz shook her head adamantly;  
'I can't let you do that,' she said softly. Aram raised an eyebrow.  
'Please? Samar would want you to stay, not drive at two in the morning. If I let you leave, and you have some kind of accident... She'd kill me.' Liz shot him a look, and Aram instantly realised what he had just said. 'Poor choice of words, given the circumstances,' he hurriedly corrected himself, 'but, you get the point.' Liz nodded slowly, her wobbling lip breaking into a small smile as the tears finally broke away and started rolling down her cheek. It took Aram all of one glance in her direction, before he let out a sniffle of his own, and then another, and another. Liz leaned against his side, and Aram instinctively put his arms around her, both of them anxiously trying to shake the worst potential scenarios from their minds...  
'She's going to be ok, right?’ Liz whispered. Aram nodded slowly, not sure which of the two of them he was trying to reassure more, before whispering back.  
'She has to be.'

/*/*/*/*

**_TUESDAY..._ **

Samar shuffled along her place still laying on the concrete floor, ignoring the pain in her sides as she tried to pull at the ropes around her wrists and ankles. In being thrown around by Maxwell and his henchmen twice more since having her chair kicked over, the ropes were slowly loosening... But at the same time, the collection of bright blue and purple bruises was steadily growing, the gash on her face from when Maxwell had slapped her again without taking off a ring, was now starting to ooze, and if the pain in her sides was any indication, by now she had at least three broken ribs as well. Samar's eyes were puffy –not from tears but from exhaustion, and the dirt and dust on the floor that she couldn't escape. She had barely slept, preferring instead to stay alert as much as possible and not be subject to any surprise strikes or other rude awakenings... But she could only hold her eyes open for so long, and every so often they fluttered closed for a few minutes, before Samar awoke again with a jump. It was Tuesday morning now –not that Samar knew that for certain, but she estimated something roughly along those lines. In a windowless room with no clocks on the walls, the passing of time was difficult to judge. The only thing she had to tell for sure, was if Maxwell entered the room, and she managed to sneak a long enough glance at his watch. By now, her jacket and boots were gone –Maxwell having ordered his men to take them from her along with the wallet in her pocket. Naturally, her weapon and phone had been taken much earlier, but now Samar was down solely to her jeans, torn t-shirt, and socks... And considering the fact that it was November, she was seriously starting to feel the cold.  

Nonetheless, she still stubbornly hadn't given them any of the answers they were looking for.  

With each violent beating, she had fought through the pain by focusing on anything and everything else she could think of... Forcing her mind to wander to somewhere happier. She had drowned out the sound of Maxwell's yelling and sadistic laughter by recalling the memories of Leila's happier, sweet gurgles, and Aram's chuckling. For a split second, the more bittersweet, cynical aspects of her nature voiced their views in her mind, reminding her that risky situations like this one were yet another huge part of the reason she had never wanted to be a mother in the first place, but she quickly –and frustratedly- tried to shake those thoughts from her mind; it was pointless to think like that now, she already had Leila... But that in itself made the situation more difficult, as Samar wondered what was happening outside of the freezing, concrete compound she was trapped in. She assumed Aram had it covered; he was as familiar as she was with all of Leila's routines and little quirks... But it was difficult nonetheless, to be so far away and not know for sure.  

One of the nameless, seemingly voiceless thugs that Maxwell apparently had an unlimited supply of, poked his head around one of the doors, doing the usual check every so often to make sure Samar was still there and not moving particularly far. She quickly stopped squirming, but it was too late. The thug had seen what she was doing, and he marched in... Grabbing her by the ankles and hoisting her along the floor, before tightening the knots on the ropes. Samar resisted the urge to curse at him, as the ropes cut into her skin yet again. The thug rose from his crouching position after retying the last binding, and shook his head scornfully at her as he stared down at the anger on her face. For good measure, and simply because he couldn't resist Maxwell's provision that Samar be taught the 'error of her ways' any time they found her doing something uncooperative, the thug kicked her not once, but _twice_ , before spitting at the ground right next to her face, and turning on his heels to march out of the room as silently as he had entered –leaving Samar on the floor doubled up in agony over the latest forceful impact to her already aching sides. She waited until the thug had completely left the room before letting out a gasp at the throbbing pain. _Don't let him break you... Don't let him break you... You can't let him break you..._ Samar cycled through the mantra in her mind as she tried to steady her breathing. She was unwavering in her determination not to let Maxwell win. She slowly panned her gaze around the room, taking in every door, every crack, and every other part of the space, trying to figure out a new escape plan. She lasted just long enough, for her thoughts to wander away to another flash of Aram trying to distract her from case notes by dancing around the living room with Leila in his arms, before another burst of overwhelming, searing pain swept over her...  

And her eyes fluttered closed again as she slipped into unconsciousness...

/*/*/*/*

Ressler slammed his phone back on his desk in frustration at the continued lack of decent, new leads. His conscience and sense of justice was nagging at his gut; amongst all the chaos, and despite all the ups and downs with Samar over the last almost-year, there was this twisted feeling of obligation to find her, that was driving him crazy. Perhaps it was because he had decided to leave her to raise Leila on her own, only to see her dragged away before his eyes and then be slapped with the reality that Leila suddenly had neither of them... Perhaps it was because they had that made that one impulsive decision on that one crazy night, that had led to Leila in the first place... Or perhaps it was simply because they were partners no matter the fact that they weren't necessarily friends, and Ressler was the lead agent on the team... His job was to watch his partners' backs, but he hadn't stopped that van in time before it sped away. Whatever the reason –and Ressler didn't care which one it was, or even if it was a combination of all three- the fact all of it was happening at all, and that he couldn't seem to solve it no matter how hard he tried, was something that Ressler couldn't quite get his head around.

At the very least, he hadn't seen Aram that morning until _after_ Leila had already been dropped off downstairs.  

'Hey um, Ressler?' Aram poked his head around the door to Ressler's office.  
' _What?!'_ Ressler snapped back, far more intensely than intended. He shook his head, letting out a small sigh as he took in the startled look on Aram's face, 'sorry.' Aram's face softened, and he took a breath, standing up a little straighter in determination. He understood that they were _all_ struggling with the particularly difficult case.   
'It's fine,' he murmured, and Ressler shot him a weary, but appreciative smile. 'But uh, I was wondering... We're seriously running out of ideas to pursue... Do you think we should reach out to Mossad? They take care of their own just like we do, and they might know something we don't. Maybe they can help.'   
'Yeah, do it,' Ressler said, nodding emphatically. Reddington was busily running around outside the Post Office pursuing his own leads, phoning in every so often -rather than stopping by the building he loathed so much and preferred to avoid- to tell them all via Liz that he was having just as little luck as the rest of them. Not even Ressler could deny being mildly impressed by Reddington’s efforts in this case; the reports back had been frequent and detailed, and at least they provided some kind of process of elimination, as he systematically met and exchanged favours with every contact he had who possessed even a vague connection to the case. But regardless, those efforts still weren’t turning up much of anything that was actually helpful, so by this point Ressler was willing to try anything… And perhaps Mossad _could_ help. 'Who knows what information they've been holding on to, right?'

/*/*/*/*

Aram paced anxiously back and forth across the living room, waiting for that knock on the door –or two of them, actually. The second would be his parents, when they finally arrived. Despite what was going on, and the distinct possibility that all their Thanksgiving plans were probably never going to be realised, Aram hadn't been able to convince them not to worry about visiting. Rather, his mom in particular was even more insistent on them coming anyway, just so they could give him a hand at home, and hopefully relieve some of his stress. But the first knock that Aram was expecting however, was Levi's. The Mossad team stationed in DC that Samar had once worked for, though _apparently_ deeply apologetic about Samar being missing, had claimed that there was nothing much that they could do to help, nor any information they could share. They insisted that their presence in DC was only authorised so long as they kept strictly to information gathering, and nothing more... And that despite Samar being one of their own, so long as she was missing in DC while working for the FBI, the case wasn't Mossad's jurisdiction. Aram had hung up the phone with nearly as much vehemence as Ressler had earlier in the day, then promptly glared at his computer, wondering in an uncharacteristic flash of spite, how many international laws he would be breaking if he tried to hack into Mossad's database instead. They all knew that the Mossad team did far more than information gathering, and their apparent lack of interest in recovering one of their own agents was infuriating.  

Thankfully, five minutes later, the phone had rung again.

That time, it was Levi. There wasn't much he could do _officially_ speaking but he too, took Samar being missing as personally as the rest of them. He also couldn't say much more on the phone than the agent Aram had first spoken to, but with an overly casual tone and request to meet up for a 'drink' after work, Levi had made his point, and Aram had understood; Levi was more than willing to help so long as he could speak off the record, and in person... And thus, Aram was now waiting for him, and whatever shred of information Levi could manage to discreetly steal away.

The knock came, and Aram practically leapt to open the door within seconds. Levi did a double take, momentarily bewildered, but then quickly shook it off. He understood how Aram must have been feeling... After all, he too, cared deeply for Samar. It had taken all of a nanosecond after word filtered through his office that Samar was missing, for Levi to know for sure that there was nothing he wouldn’t do to help, no matter what the regulations said.   
'Straight to the point,' Levi said, holding up a flash drive, and extending his hand slightly for Aram to take it. Aram quickly took it from him and shoved it deep into his own jacket pocket.  
'Thank you,' he said, giving a quick, appreciative nod. There really was no need for greetings. They were both focused on one thing; finding Samar. But with the flash drive out of the way, Aram took a half step sideways and gestured for Levi to enter the apartment if he wished. There was a second of hesitation before Levi did so but eventually, he cautiously followed Aram down the hallway.  
'How are you holding up?' He asked, the sincerity clear in his voice. Aram did a double take, slightly taken aback. In all the chaos thus far, everyone who had been told Samar was missing, had always asked about Leila first, not him –even his own parents. Not that Aram had a problem with that for he too, was more concerned for Leila under the circumstances than he was for himself -he was simply surprised that Levi of all people, would be the one to buck the trend.

But then again, he and Levi had seemed to reach a certain understanding of one another back at that café nearly four months earlier.  

'I'll be happier when we find her...' Aram muttered bitterly, 'you?'  
'Much the same.' Levi paused, hesitant again before finally asking the inevitable; 'How's little Leila?' Aram glanced up, once again slightly surprised. He was fairly certain Samar hadn't seen Levi again since before Leila was born and yet somehow, Levi knew Leila's name. Aram quickly tried to mask the surprise, but Levi caught it all the same, and let out a small smile. 'Samar called me,' he explained, 'just quickly, from the hospital a few days after she was born. Leila Rose, right?'  
'Yeah...' Aram began softly, 'Rose after Samar's-'  
'-Samar's mother...' Levi interjected, before trailing off. He nodded in understanding, and for the third time in as many minutes, Aram was surprised. 'I understood, as soon as she told me. It's a nice touch... But I haven't heard anything since that call. Leila's ok now, right? She's not sick or anything?'  
'No,' Aram shook his head, 'she's just fine but uh... She _is_ sleeping right now.' Levi raised an eyebrow.   
'She's here with you? Not with Agent Ressler?'   
'It's complicated.' Aram paused without really offering any further explanation, as what was quite possibly the hundredth wail of the evening suddenly erupted from Leila's room. 'Not again...' He sighed tiredly, 'hang on a second.' Levi nodded in complete understanding, as Aram hurried off towards Leila's room, leaving him standing there awkwardly in the living room. It took all of five minutes before Aram returned, with the still quietly grizzling Leila in tow.  

Levi exhaled deeply as he took in the sight before him; all Samar had told him was that she'd had a little girl named Leila and that generally speaking, all was well... But Levi had never seen the little one in question, and Samar hadn't sent him any pictures. It was almost mindboggling how much the little girl in Aram's arms looked like her mother -hair and eye colour aside, of course.   
'Oh...' He breathed, 'she's so much like Samar… May I?' Levi still couldn't wrap his head around it all; that after what he and Samar had been through with little Shahin, now all of a sudden, Samar had that beautiful, healthy, little girl.   
'Uh, sure,' Aram said, gently placing Leila in Levi's arms. Levi stared wistfully down at her, instantly wondering what life would look like now, if everything with little Shahin had gone differently...  But it only lasted a moment, before Leila's fussing started up again, suddenly at an almost ear splitting volume. Aram hurriedly took her back, rocking her gently, and almost immediately, she settled. Levi let out a small chuckle at the quick change, amused by how naturally Leila seemed to respond to Aram.   
'She likes you,' Levi observed, with a wry smile. Aram shuffled awkwardly on his feet.  
'I'm just familiar,' Aram tried to brush it off and keep it casual, rather than become emotional, but Levi saw straight through it. He could see quite clearly that Aram and Leila had bonded. Perhaps it was because as he had said to Samar; he had never really liked Ressler, but either way, Levi was pleased yet again to see that Samar had found someone who genuinely cared so much.

'Do you think Samar will ever tell her?' He asked quietly, after a brief pause. His tone was thoughtful, but nonetheless a touch upset, 'that she had a brother?' Aram furrowed his brow, honestly unsure what Samar would want to do in that regard.   
'Maybe one day...' He said slowly, his mind suddenly wandering as he considered the idea, 'when she's older. It's up to Samar.'  
'And if you don't find her?' Levi asked, frowning in concern. 'Then what happens to Leila?' Aram shook his head wordlessly, not knowing how to answer. He and Samar had never had that conversation. All Aram knew was that if things were that desperate, he would do whatever it took to make sure Leila had everything she needed... And hopefully, he wouldn't lose her. In the meantime, he was just taking things one awful day at a time, and trying not to consider any option other than Samar being found or managing to escape whatever hellhole she was being held in. The frown on Levi's face intensified, worried about the apparent lack of a plan... But as he opened his mouth to speak again, his train of thought was interrupted by another knock at the door. A look of confusion crossed Levi's face, as Aram hurriedly glanced at his watch.  
'Ahh, they're early.' He paused, glancing back at Levi again. 'Uh, it's just my parents,' he quickly tried to explain. Levi let out a small 'ah' of understanding, and immediately moved to follow Aram to the front door so he could leave and get out of the way. He had handed over the flash drive already and really, that was all he had _needed_ to do. All other conversations could wait. Aram opened the door, and the expressions on his parents faces instantly faltered at the sight of not just Aram standing there, but Levi too. Aram ran the quick round of introductions, explaining Levi simply as Samar's 'friend' who was just stopping by for a moment, simply to ease the awkwardness, but otherwise he sensed that Levi was ready to leave. Mehri and Naveed shot Levi polite –albeit confused- smiles, as he stepped back to make space for them to enter the narrow corridor before exiting himself. He quickly clapped Aram on the shoulder as he moved.  
'Let me know if there's anything else I can do to help, ok?' He murmured quietly. Aram quickly nodded, and then with a short but nonetheless friendly wave, Levi disappeared down the corridor towards the apartment building's exit. Aram closed the front door behind him, his parents having already begun walking towards the living room. They had no bags in hand –they had already dropped those off at Aram's old apartment on the way over, as planned- and so as Aram joined them in the living room, Mehri quickly turned to take Leila from him, delightedly exclaiming about how much she had grown since last they saw her. Aram watched them quietly, too tired to really engage in all the ooh-ing and ahh-ing, but nevertheless relieved that they had arrived.  

'Have you eaten dinner yet?' Mehri asked, suddenly looking up from Leila as the thought came to mind. She eyed Aram warily, noting how well cared for Leila seemed to look, but how exhausted and mildly dishevelled Aram was. Aram shook his head no, almost feeling as if the sudden arrival of his parents had lifted a weight from his shoulders. Mehri shot him a soft smile, mom mode instantly activated, then ordered Naveed off to the kitchen.  
'Hold on,' Aram tried to protest, 'let me help.' It wasn't his parents’ house, and no matter how exhausted he was, he still wasn't entirely content to just let them take over. Just like Ressler, his parents weren't the ones who knew all of Leila's routines... Though, despite the intense feeling of responsibility Aram felt for Leila at the moment, he did trust them to figure it out, far more than he did Ressler. Mehri rolled her eyes, gently patting his arm.   
'All I want you to do to help,' she began earnestly, 'is _rest_ , and make sure Samar comes home safely. We can do everything else.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More action will come next... Remember when I said 'Pride' always has to come before a 'Fall'?


	34. Fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Wednesday-Thursday, November 23-24, 2016.
> 
> Because once again, I just cannot contain myself... Even though this is seriously going to wear down my buffer of written chapters. Oh well!
> 
> A touch of action, as promised! I'd like to think I managed a flash of BAMF Samar in this one. Hopefully. Plus, some good ol' angst as an added bonus.
> 
> Enjoy!

**_WEDNESDAY..._ **

Samar pushed herself up from laying on the filthy floor; injured, exhausted and freezing enough now that Maxwell had allowed the ropes to eventually fall away. She was hungry too, with Maxwell's men having only given her the bare minimum amount of food so that she wouldn't starve before they were done with their questions, but that didn't stop the nausea rumbling in her stomach. In that condition, they both knew Samar wasn't likely to get very far even if she _was_ unrestrained, but nonetheless she had tried to walk around the room she was trapped in... Searching for a way out that was unguarded.  

Maxwell had left the lights to the windowless room turned off, leaving Samar in the darkness. And considering how badly injured she was already, walking in the dark and repeatedly tripping over the uneven, cracked floor had Samar nearing the point of self-defeat.  

But only nearly.

Samar wasn't content to just lay there weakly, having given up on all hope, and letting Maxwell win, just because exploring the room was a struggle... And so she pushed herself up, fiercely determined to _sit_ up at the very least, no matter how much it hurt. She had lost count by now, of all the cuts, bruises, and possible broken ribs and frankly, Samar had stopped caring about the numbers. She was disappointed in herself for having not found a way out already, and she was starting to grow concerned. The longer she was stuck there, the longer Maxwell and his thugs would continue to inflict their pain... And the worse Samar was injured, the harder it would be for her to get away. She had always known that there would come a certain point in her career... A particular case that would go one step too far, and be her last. Samar had come close to that _so_ many times already and yet, so far she had managed to survive each one. That said, as it had with each of those cases past, the uncomfortable reality of this one was beginning to sink in. But this time, it was different –she didn't just have herself to think about anymore. This time, the fear was so much more real –not so much for herself, but for Leila and everyone else that she had finally allowed close to her. _She couldn't die now... This case couldn't possibly be the one that killed her..._ She knew it would happen eventually, but Samar had always imagined it at some distant, non-specific point in the future. _Now was too soon_.  

And yet, as every breath was agony through her shattered ribs, she was seriously starting to wonder.

Growling at herself in frustration, Samar tried to shake the idea from her mind, but she couldn't –not entirely, anyway. After that conversation in Liz's living room so many weeks earlier had sparked the idea in her mind, Samar had started trying to finally write her own will, so that whenever the time came –no matter how far in the future Samar had hoped it would be- Leila would be taken care of... But she hadn't told anyone she was doing it, and she hadn't finished it yet; in the event that something happened to her while Leila was still young, Samar wasn't sure how to best ensure that the outcome she wanted, would be executed as planned... Nor how to keep it fair. In pure, blunt honesty, if it came to that, Samar wanted Leila to stay with Aram, _not_ with Ressler. Ressler could be the friend he had told her he always wanted to be –Samar had no qualms about that- but ultimately, she wanted Aram in charge of the important decisions... Ressler worked as dangerous a job as she did, and if Leila's life had to be upended for that once, Samar didn't want that to happen _twice_. Aram at least, would be able to provide a considerably higher amount of stability. But with the situation between the three of them still a fraught, legal nightmare, Samar had little faith that her unfinished will alone would be enough to make sure that happened. Ressler's informal agreement was with her, not Aram... And though Ressler's name wasn't on the birth certificate currently, that could change at any point, whereas the only power Aram had was what she granted him while she was still around. If his connection to Leila was never made official in some capacity or another, Aram would have next to no power against Ressler, should the situation ever arise where the two of them found themselves in conflict... With that in mind, if the two of them fought over Leila in court, Samar was almost certain that Ressler would win the case. It felt awful to have to think like that, but the reality was that these were practical matters which she really did have to consider now.  

And with her will unfinished, and the rest of them completely oblivious to its existence, the idea that this concrete room of all places may be the last she ever saw of the world had Samar both furious and overwrought with worry.

She let out a small groan as she shivered and ran her hands gingerly down her sides, trying to feel her ribs through her shirt and get a better idea of the condition she was in. Her shoulders hurt -still from the impact of having been kicked over in her chair and landing with a thud on the ground- every time she moved her arms to do so, making Samar wonder if her ribs were not the only bones broken, but possibly her collarbone too. Nevertheless she pushed onwards, satisfied at least that her arms and legs were only bruised and scattered with a few small –albeit oozing from the filthy floor- cuts at the worst. The main problems were her ribs, the risk of freezing or starving, and the pain radiating through her entire body from the accumulative beatings in general, that made it a struggle to stay conscious. Samar slowly let her hands fall wearily by her sides, her eyes at least adjusted enough to the darkness now that she could see figures as they entered the room, _before_ they turned the lights on and blinded her again. She let out a frustrated sigh as Maxwell's voice boomed gleefully across the room;  
'Ok another round, shall we? Are you ready to tell me how the FBI found me yet?'

/*/*/*/*

**_WEDNESDAY EVENING..._ **

Ressler stood waiting by the elevator doors, another day of searching now over as hopelessly as the last two. They were all on edge, concerned and irritated at how difficult it seemed to be to find a simple insurance fraudster who had banded together for a while with two groups of mobsters. But apparently, Maxwell was far better at covering his tracks than Ressler, Reddington, or any of the others for that matter, would have thought. They were all running on the minimum amount of sleep, dedicating as much of their time as they could to the case, and nothing else... And it was clear as day on all their faces. All of them had dark rings around their eyes, their faces etched permanently with embittered frowns. Liz had come back from a brief bathroom break in the middle of the day with tear stained cheeks, not that she wanted the rest of them to notice.  

But now it was the fateful Wednesday evening, and Ressler was faced with the contingency plan they had formed two days earlier.

To rush out to the courthouse before it closed, or not to go to the courthouse... That was the question that had been swirling around anxiously in Ressler's mind all day. He was hoping he wouldn't have to. He wanted to be part of Leila's life now, there was no denying it. If the chaos of this case had accomplished anything, it was that Ressler had finally come to a conclusion on whether he really wanted to try and broach the subject again with Samar or not. But decisions aside, this wasn't how Ressler wanted it to go. He didn't want the potential for a relationship with his baby girl to be marred by the idea that it only came out of a crisis, and concern for her safety. He wanted it to be clear that he cared, and that it was a genuine gesture that came from the heart.  

Ressler shuffled through the file in his hand, and all the information from Levi that they had pored over throughout the day. There was one potential lead that was quickly becoming their last hope... And the only reason they weren’t on their way there already was because they had already agreed that he would go to the courthouse before it closed for Thanksgiving. Ressler stared down at the pages in front of him; it seemed a fairly solid lead, so he was honestly wondering whether that might just be it... Whether they might find Samar right there in that derelict building in the picture in his hand. Ressler bit his lip, poring over those pages one last time before the elevator doors opened. The more he read over the details, the more he was convinced; the building that was once headquarters for the insurance firm Maxwell worked for before his first attempt at scheming sent the company bankrupt, and which had since been owned –but not maintained- by one of his shell companies that Mossad had already uncovered, had to be where he was basing his operations now. It seemed far too simple, after every other lead thus far had proven fruitless... But Ressler was determined. They were set to raid that very building the next morning. He couldn’t go to the courthouse now, not when they were this close. He wanted to keep Leila safe, but maybe... Just maybe, they could hold out a little longer without resorting to such drastic measures.  

/*/*/*/*

Two and a half days... A little over, in fact. From early Monday afternoon, until now. That's how long it had been since Samar had been dragged out of compound, and taken away. Aram was counting the hours, wondering just how many more would pass until they found her. They were working around the clock but eventually, Cooper had told him to go home once again. He was tired, and he couldn't leave Leila with his parents _all_ night. The team would call him if anything important happened.  

But so far, the phone hadn't rung.

He had left a little before Ressler's fixation on the new lead became apparent, and so now Aram wandered aimlessly around the apartment as if on autopilot, going about the usual routine of feeding Leila, helping his mom make dinner, putting Leila to bed, eating dinner with both his parents, and so on, but his brain was fuzzy. All he could think about was Samar; where she was, what was happening to her and even, _if she was still alive_. Aram hadn't been able to sleep with that idea stuck in his head. But now it was after midnight, and he was still awake and fully dressed, even though his parents had left for his old apartment hours ago. He hadn't even bothered trying to go to bed after his parents left, and then time had simply slipped past him as he worried. He was too busy just willing the universe to let Samar be ok.  

A loud cry jolted his fuzzy mind back into gear, making Aram's head snap up as he hurriedly moved from the living room to Leila's room. She hadn't slept properly at all since Samar had gone missing –all their hard work establishing her sleep routine was now completely dashed. Aram picked her up out of the crib, cradling her in his arms and gently rubbing her back to try and settle her as he crossed the room to sit in the chair in the corner. He rocked her back and forth wordlessly until her screaming eased off and became quiet grizzling –her tiny hands trying and failing to latch onto the soft, worn fabric of his t-shirt as her arms flailed in distress. He knew she could sense his stress, and he desperately wished he could calm for her sake, so that then they could both get some sleep... But it was no use. They were both so overtired now, that Leila couldn't settle at all, and Aram couldn't even think straight, let alone manage his stress in his usual rational, optimistic fashion. Aram sat there, in that chair in the corner of the room, still engulfed in darkness only barely lit otherwise by the purple night light that plugged into the wall behind him. He could see just enough to make out the way Leila's little face was contorted in distress, and her chubby cheeks were pink from having exerted so much energy into all the screaming. With one hand he stroked her cheek, trying to brush away some of those tiny tears, but he couldn't focus on anything but the way she was nestling into the crook of his arm and still trying to catch a grip on his shirt... Almost as if she was clinging to him for dear life. He held her as close as he could without squashing her, hoping that his mere presence might calm her a little more, but the more Aram stared at her, the worse he felt. The longer he sat there cradling her, the harder it was to hold back his own tears. Aram took a breath, and attempted to blink away his already welling up tear ducts. But it was no use; he couldn't get the image out of his head now, of Samar hurt and dying, and possibly never coming home... Of raising Leila by himself, or not even being able to raise her at all. One by one, the tears started rolling down Aram's cheeks; that wasn't a reality he was ready to face. Almost as if sensing what was happening, Leila's grizzling began to rise in volume again.  
'Shhhh...' Aram tried to hush her, still rocking her gently back and forth, 'no, it's ok...' He rose from the chair, swaying slightly as he walked small circles around the room to calm her, and finally she quietened again. Aram held her close for a moment longer, dotting a kiss to her forehead and hoping, just hoping with everything he had left, that this wasn't the end of all the wonderful moments he'd had with his new little family over the last almost year. He gently placed Leila back in her crib, then frustratedly brushed the tears away from his face with the back of his hand, as he stared down at those wide, hazel eyes that had seemed to stop twinkling over the last couple of days. _No, Samar had to come home... She had to._

/*/*/*/*

**_THURSDAY..._ **

Aram stared in disbelief at Ressler geared up and ready to go, marching out of the war room on his way to scour the building that was their last hope. After three days of nothing, they finally had a real lead; _could it really be that simple?_ After Samar had been missing for three days, were they finally about to find her? All awareness that it was in fact, Thanksgiving, had vanished from their minds –there was a greater priority, and that was what they were all focused on now.   
'Agent Ressler,' Cooper's voice boomed in urgency as he hurriedly strode across the war room towards Ressler, 'where do you think you're going?'   
'To follow up this damn lead,' Ressler growled, more to himself than to Cooper. Within a second he looked up in horror, realising what he had just said, and to whom he had just said it. That wasn't the way he would normally speak to a superior. Cooper raised an eyebrow, but didn't object to Ressler's words; he understood at least, that they were all stressed.  
'You've barely slept for three days, surely it would be safer if we send another team.' Ressler shook his head adamantly; in theory, any old FBI team could raid a building with SWAT, clear it of criminals, and locate missing agents trapped inside... But that wasn't the point. Ressler was set in his principles, and this was _his_ team. He wanted to be there at that building.   
'It's a solid lead,' he observed, his brow furrowed in determination, 'unless you order me to stand down, I'm going.' Aram watched the proceedings with distinct interest as Ressler and Cooper eyed each other for a moment, the former too sleep-deprived to care for the moment about chain of command issues when there was a larger crisis happening, and the latter almost proud of the level of dedication –not that he was going to let it show, considering the conversation they were in the midst of.   
'Very well,' Cooper commented, giving a curt nod, 'make sure you bring her home.'

Liz moved to hurry past Aram's desk towards Ressler, just as Cooper strode back in the opposite direction. Aram's eyes went wide; Liz was all geared up and ready to go too. He reached out for her arm, stopping her.   
'Are you going too?' He asked, slightly concerned.   
'Of course,' Liz said, nodding as if it was obvious. She was back at work, so if Ressler was going, she was going. There was no question about it. Aram furrowed his brow, feeling a sudden flash of worry and hopelessness. All he could do while the others were in the field raiding the building, was monitor the communications and ensure it all ran smoothly. But otherwise, he would be sitting there at his desk, in the relative safety of the Post Office, while the others threw themselves into yet another potentially dangerous situation. That was something that happened frequently, but Aram was sure he was never going to quite get over it. Not to mention, given the current situation, the stakes today were even higher.   
'Just, uh...' He began to stammer, 'be careful, ok? I worry about you, too.' Liz let out a soft smile, easily her first in days.  
'I will. Just make sure we can all hear each other, and we'll all be fine.'

/*/*/*/*

Liz, Ressler, and their specifically requested, larger than usual SWAT team, had the building completely surrounded this time, and in two concentric layers. There was no way, if Samar was inside that building, that they were going to let Maxwell get away from them again. Ressler yelled the breach order and they all moved forward in a huge swarm, entering the building at every possible point –even from holes in the roof spotted by the air support crew in the Bureau helicopter above them. It was an extensive building and it was going to take a while to clear, but they pressed onwards. Cautiously making his way through the building, Ressler could hear one of the SWAT team announcing through his earpiece that two offenders were already down. Ressler exhaled slowly, glancing at Liz who was just a few feet away from him and doing much the same thing; if the SWAT team was already taking people down, then they were in the right place. Surely there would be more around here somewhere; they just had to find them.  

/*/*/*/*

'Ahhh good morning, _princess_ ,' Maxwell's voice rang in Samar's ears as her eyes flickered open again. She gazed up at him bleary-eyed from the cement floor, her eyes only snapping wide open in alarm when she saw what he was doing; rifling through her wallet. 'You wouldn't believe what I found in here while you had your nap,' he taunted. From the folds of the wallet, he quickly pulled out the old ultrasound photo square Samar had accidentally left in there months ago, and crouched down beside her to wave it in her face. 'A picture from a six month scan... Dated approximately five months ago. Well, you didn't strike me as the mother hen type, but it seems you must have a new baby at home...' Maxwell trailed off, his face lighting up with sadistic glee. Samar clenched her teeth together in anger, forcing herself to ignore the pain in her chest and sit up to look him in the eye as she glowered at him. _Don’t let him break you... Don't let him break you... You can't let him break you..._ Samar kept cycling through the mantra in her mind but apparently, Maxwell wasn't done. He dug through her wallet again, quickly pulling out the next thing to wave in her face; her driver's license. 'And look at that,' he sneered, 'now I know where you live.' Samar's heart rate increased rapidly as she felt the rage bubbling up inside, but her teeth remained gritted together. 'You don't seem to care what I do to _you_ , but I wonder how quickly you'll change your mind about talking if I pay your baby a little visit... It's not like you're there at the moment,' Maxwell paused and grinned maliciously again, even wider this time. 'Who _is_ there? A baby daddy perhaps, that I can take away like I took you? Leaving your little one an orphan would be a nice touch, don't you think?' He let out a chuckle, the vicious delight radiating from him with every breath of laughter.           

And that was the last straw.  

Samar let out an enraged roar as she kicked out, swinging her legs around and toppling Maxwell over where he had crouched next to her. Somewhere in the distance, she could hear crashing and yelling, but it didn't really register –she was too furious. Samar swung her legs back, giving herself the momentum to push herself up, and pounced on top of him, hurriedly trying to wrestle Maxwell's hands away from reaching for his gun. He gripped his hand around it faster than she could, and wrapped his finger around the trigger -Samar only just managing to push it away as he pulled on it. The bullet went flying sideways, missing her by less than half an inch. She finally managed to knock the weapon out of his hand and send it sliding across the floor, but Maxwell's hands went instead for her neck. Samar fought back, ducking away from his grasp and laying every ounce of force into him with her fists that she could. A searing pain shot through her arms and chest again as she fought and wrestled with him; she was too exhausted and too badly hurt to cause him any serious damage, but Samar didn't let it stop her from pummelling Maxwell with everything she had. He tried to roll and pin her instead, but she kicked out again, her foot colliding sharply with his lower gut and making him collapse back down to the ground again as she squirmed away. Out of the corner of her eye, Samar spotted the gun where it had wound up a couple of feet away, and she lunged across the floor for it wildly, Maxwell crawling along right behind her. She reached for it, grasping it tightly and pulling her legs away from his reach just in time to stand and point the gun back down at him. Her entire body was shaking with such intense pain, Samar could barely hold herself up, let alone hold the gun steady –but the pure rage and rush of adrenaline fuelled her just enough to fight through it. Maxwell stopped moving, laying back against the floor and raising his hands in mock surrender, but the sadistic sneer on his face remained.   
'Don't... You _dare_... Threaten... _My family_...' Samar spat at him, between heavy breaths. She had already lost her entire family once before... There was no way in hell Samar was about to let that happen again. Maxwell simply chuckled again in response, as he gazed at her shaking hands.   
'You're FBI,' he snickered, 'you're not allowed to shoot me once I’m down.' That did absolutely _nothing_ to quell Samar's fury; Maxwell might have been down on the ground, but Samar was still far from safe. She had fought him hard but unlike her, Maxwell could still get up again easily enough. Without sufficient backup, if Samar put the gun down now –or even hesitated for a second- she had no doubt that his gesture of surrender would disappear in a flash and in her exhausted, physically weak state, he would have her down on the ground in his place just as quickly. Maxwell had beaten her for three days, threatened her family, and now it was seemingly a matter of killing or being killed... And he still had the nerve to laugh at her shaking. Samar was allowed to defend herself... _And she wasn't done yet_.   
'Watch me.' Her voice was eerily quiet as she pulled the trigger not once, not twice, but three times –each bullet hitting its target directly. Samar slowly dropped her hands to her sides, the gun hanging limply from her fingers, and took a quick step back. She breathed heavily, still shivering despite the sudden rush of action, gazing around the room in disorientated confusion as the pain in her chest only increased from the recoil of the gun, and tried to figure out which way to run. Making an executive decision to head for the far most door on the right that she had usually seen Maxwell come in and out of, Samar stumbled along as fast as she could to get as far away as possible before the pain overtook the adrenaline and stopped her.

'FREEZE!' A voice yelled from behind her as she wobbled on her feet into the next room.   
'Wait!' Came another voice, even more urgently –this one far more familiar than the last. Samar turned cautiously on the spot, nearly so out of her mind in agony, that she didn't initially recognise the figure running up hurriedly behind the SWAT agent.  
'Re-Ressler?' She stammered weakly. Ressler hurriedly wrapped his arm around her waist, trying to hold her upright, but Samar's eyes rolled deliriously as her legs finally gave out from under her, and she collapsed. Ressler grabbed onto her tightly before she fell, lowering her down onto the ground gently instead.  
'Get me a medic in here!' He yelled frantically. His gaze swept over Samar anxiously as Liz ran into the room behind the SWAT team; Samar was filthy from the floor, she was covered head to toe in oozing cuts, and bruises almost as dark as her curly hair –and that was just on the parts of her that Ressler could see. Her lips were blue around the edges from the cold, and her face was gaunt –a combination of stress, pain and the lack of food, sleep, and warmth. Just in the small handful of days, Samar had easily lost a few pounds and it showed clearly. Overall, she looked an absolute mess. Though Ressler did note, fortunately enough, that there were no visible bullet wounds or anything else along those lines, but with bruising that deep, who knew what was going on internally.   
'Oh my god,' Liz breathed, dropping to the ground beside Samar and instantly reaching to check her pulse. A tear rolled down her face at the sight of her closest friend so badly hurt but otherwise, she was speechless.  
'She's breathing, but her heart rate is all over the place,' Ressler informed nobody in particular as the team of paramedics ran in and began tending to Samar. If anything, he was saying it to himself... Telling himself that Samar was alive, and that he had found her in time... Anything to salve the guilt cramping in his gut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmm... Samar and Ressler *really* aren't on the same page, after all. And that was another sort-of-cliffhanger... Oops! 
> 
> But before anyone gets too excited, or too panicked, let me just say... Something is not quite what it seems. That'll come up next, in 'Grateful'. :)


	35. Grateful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Thursday-Sunday, November 24-27, 2016.
> 
> Shout out to my source of medical information without whom, this chapter would have been a million times more difficult. There are probably still a couple of errors here, but at least it's somewhat correct! Though that said, if medical procedure content bothers you in any kind of way, maybe don't read this one. It's not super graphic, but it does describe Samar's condition in enough detail, that it may be bothersome to anyone who really, really doesn't like hospitals. 
> 
> Otherwise, onwards we go! Remember when I said something wasn't quite what it seemed?

**_THURSDAY AFTERNOON..._ **

'Where is she?' Aram burst out, as he sprinted into the hospital waiting room. Ressler was already there, having accompanied Samar to the hospital from the crime scene in the back of the ambulance, but Aram had come from the Post Office, and was only just arriving. Ressler gently reached for Aram's flailing arms, stopping him in his tracks. Aram's eyes were wild; after the emotional rollercoaster of the last few days, not knowing what was happening, all he wanted now was to be by Samar's side.   
'We only just arrived ten minutes ago, she's still being treated,' Ressler hurriedly tried to calm him.   
'Is she ok?'  
'I'm still waiting on that too, the doctor said he'd come out and tell me once her condition has been assessed.' Aram shook his head, fretting and wanting a straight answer.   
'But was she _ok_ when you found her?' He pushed again.   
'She's been hurt pretty bad, but...' Ressler sighed, 'it didn't _look_ life threatening.' Aram pursed his lips, barely reassured by that. He stared intently at the hallway that ran from the waiting area of the Emergency Room, to the rest of the hospital, impatient for more information.   
'Did you get Maxwell?' He asked suddenly, his eyes not moving even a fraction of an inch from that hallway.   
'Yeah,' Ressler said quietly, also eyeing that hallway, waiting for the doctor to return. He furrowed his brow, remembering what the SWAT team leader had said when making his report back over the phone, 'or actually, Samar did.'  
'What?' Aram's gaze down the hall broke for a second.  
'We got there just as she made her move to get away,' Ressler said, before trailing off, 'she shot him, three times.'  
'Good,' Aram muttered to himself, so darkly it took Ressler by surprise. They had all changed in various ways of late, but Ressler was particularly amazed, and constantly surprised by Aram's occasional little outbursts.   
'I said she _shot_ him, I didn't say she killed him,' Ressler commented, one eyebrow raised slightly. Aram did a double take in surprise, finally breaking his gaze down the hallway for good.   
'Then how did she get away?'  
'She shot him once in each knee, then put one in his right shoulder,' Ressler explained, a touch confused himself, too, 'he'll live, but he wasn't going to chase her any time soon.' In fact, Maxwell had eventually been taken away by ambulance too, though thankfully to another hospital where he was handcuffed and under heavily armed guard. It wasn't something Ressler had wanted to know, but after having heard that Maxwell was still cackling sadistically at their distress over Samar when he was wheeled away to the ambulance, Ressler was quite relieved not to be in the same building. That said, both he and Aram found it strange that Samar wouldn't have simply killed Maxwell. Having not done so went against both her natural instincts that they were so accustomed to, _and_ her Mossad training. Of course, Samar had changed of late, just like the rest of them -but neither of them had thought she had changed quite so dramatically. Nonetheless, in a strange way Ressler was relieved yet again; it meant that they could bring Maxwell to justice for having done what he did, rather than Samar simply killing him in the name of vengeance.  

Aram paused to process the information, staring longingly down the hallway again for a moment, before glancing around wildly as another thought came to mind.  

'Wait, where's Liz?' He gasped. Aram hadn't heard from her since she called from the compound to say that Samar had been found. He had expected that he would see her in the waiting room as well.  
'She went back to the Post Office to pick up Sammy, then she's coming straight back.' Aram let out a small 'ah' of understanding at Ressler's comment. _That made sense_... He had probably just missed her return as he had left. With a weary sigh, Aram finally lowered himself into one of the available chairs, and an intense wave of relief that Leila was at home with his parents suddenly washed over him. Ressler promptly sat in the chair opposite, his mind now clearly wandering elsewhere.  

/*/*/*/*

Just over an hour passed, and in that time Samar had been deemed 'critical, but stable'. Aram had thought that was something only said on television but no, apparently it was true. Around forty minutes after his arrival, one of the doctors had come out to update him and Ressler on Samar's condition, then taken them down the hall and briefly gone through everything that was happening; all up, at least half Samar's ribs were shattered, and her left collarbone had a tiny fracture. With that in mind, she was being put into a temporary induced coma to help her breathe, so her injuries could stabilise, and her broken ribs wouldn't cause her lungs to collapse.  

That was the first scary part.  

There was no major internal bleeding that the doctors could find, but just the bruises alone were bad enough, and those were still just the ones Aram and Ressler could see. Apparently, there was a particularly nasty one on her left side, but that was covered by her hospital gown. All her cuts, including those around her wrists and ankles from the ropes that had bound her, and the gash on her cheek, had all been cleaned of the dirt and dust from the compound, and then covered –the doctors warning that with the apparent oozing from some of them, Samar had been given antibiotics through an IV just to play it safe against infection. With her lips still blue on arrival at the hospital, and the doctors deeming her to be mildly hypothermic as well, Samar had also been wrapped in a thick, double layered blanket filled with warm air, and she had to stay wrapped up for a few hours at least, until her temperature rose accordingly.  

That, in conjunction with the conclusion from her constant drifting in and out of consciousness on the way to the hospital, that she also had a concussion, was the second scary thing.  

There were x-rays, a head CT scan... And something called a 'central line' in her chest for the antibiotic IV, fluids to stave off dehydration, and not to mention the sedatives keeping Samar in her coma... It was all a bit much for Aram to take in, in all of a twenty minute briefing. After that, he and Ressler were sent back out to the waiting area while the medical staff finished doing everything they had to do... They were told that it would probably be about another hour and a half before they could finally stay by Samar's side but in the meantime, they had to wait.

And that was where Aram and Ressler found themselves now.  

Aram still sat quietly; other than leaping to his feet when one of the doctors came out to update them every so often, he had barely moved from the chair. Ressler had been up and down a few times, pacing back and forth for a while, and at one point disappearing to the vending machines... But the whole time he remained silent, as if he was too preoccupied by debating something with himself.  

Liz finally rushed in, looking around the room slightly bewildered before spotting them, and hurrying to sit in the empty seat beside Aram.  

'What's happening? Why are we still waiting?' She began to ramble.  
'Samar's stable,' Aram muttered back, almost still in a daze from the overload of information, 'but there's a lot going on.' He tried to explain as best he could to Liz, everything the doctors had told him, but it all came out in a jumble. Liz bit her lip anxiously.  
'When can we see her?' Aram glanced at his watch.  
'Maybe another hour or so...' He trailed off. They sat there wordlessly for a moment, before Aram furrowed his brow in confusion once again; 'hold on, where's Samantha?' Liz grinned sheepishly.  
'Your mom called me, just before I left the Post Office,' she explained, and Aram's eyes went wide in mild alarm, 'she found my number on that contacts list Samar keeps on the side of the fridge or something, I don't know... But she suggested I take Sammy to your place, so that I can stay here and you won't be alone waiting.' Liz glanced for a second over to Ressler, who was still deep in his own thoughts. Aram grimaced, albeit lightly. 'Don’t worry,' Liz added, with a small chuckle, 'I won't leave her there too long, your mom's got Leila too, I know.' Aram dropped his gaze, letting out a soft smile of his own.  
'No, it's not that,' he began quietly, 'Mom loves kids, family... All that. She's probably in her element right now, with both of them. I just feel bad for leaving Leila all day, while all I'm doing here is sitting around waiting.'   
'It's no different to leaving her at the child care centre all day,' Liz murmured. Aram tipped his head to her, knowing that was true. 'And your mom thought you might say that, so...' Liz paused for a second, waiting for Aram to raise a wary eyebrow, 'she told me to leave Sammy's car seat there too, then she can bring both of them in later, if we need her to.'   
'She thinks of everything...' Aram said, shaking his head in disbelief.   
'You do too, when you're not so stressed,' Liz commented, the sincerity clear in her voice, before thoughtfully adding; 'you're lucky you have your mom, she's pretty great.' Aram let out a small chuckle.  
'Yeah, she is,' his smile widened a little more, 'and if you're not careful, she'll claim you and Sammy as part of the family too.'  
'Really?'  
'She hates seeing people alone, so yeah... And I'm pretty sure she'd do anything for more grandkids or, you know, sort-of-grandkids.' Liz grinned, her eyes welling up a little at the observation. She had no family, besides Sammy, and the honourary family she had found in the team... And with all that had happened over the last few days -having nearly lost her honourary sister- just that small gesture of kindness was enough to have an effect. The plan had been that she and Sammy would join Aram, his parents, Samar, and Leila, for their Thanksgiving festivities that evening but of course, all that had gone flying out the window when Samar went missing. That in itself had been miserable enough but at least now, they had found her, and they knew she was safe... And for that, and in true Thanksgiving fashion, they were all grateful.  

/*/*/*/*

Exactly that hour later, Aram and Liz finally sat by Samar's bedside in the ICU. Ressler had left once they had a complete update on her condition, but Aram and Liz had opted to stay as long as they could. They didn't want Samar to be left alone, no matter the fact that she had no idea they were there. At least before Ressler left, they had convinced him to join an almost rotation of 'shifts' so that one of them would always be there by Samar's side, until she woke up.  

The colour at least, had started to return to Samar's face now; no matter how oddly space-like that hypothermia blanket looked, it seemed to be doing its job, and her lips were no longer blue.  

Thankfully, that was one relief, because the sight of the various drips and monitors all connected to her did absolutely nothing to help Aram or Liz's anxiety. The pump machine that was linked to the tube in Samar's mouth to help her breathe was particularly disconcerting. Aram tried not to focus on all the machines and all their strange noises, and instead reached for where Samar's hand sat under the blanket wrapped tightly around her, resting his own hand carefully on top. He was trying to focus on the good; she was _alive,_ and she was stable. Or, stable enough, anyway... And, _she was going to be ok_. That was a huge jump forward from where they were a day earlier.  

/*/*/*/*  

**_SUNDAY MORNING..._ **

Three days, now... That was how much time had passed since Samar had been rescued, and then put into the induced coma. And in that time, she still hadn't woken up. Once again, Aram was counting the hours. He knew the doctor's plan was to start weaning Samar off the sedatives later that afternoon, though Aram had held out hope that perhaps she might begin to wake up earlier. But, she hadn't... And so Aram was still impatiently waiting. It was his shift for the early hours of the morning, before Ressler came in for the middle of the day so Aram could go home, change, and spend some time with his parents and Leila, before coming back in the afternoon in time for when Samar was brought out from sedation. Liz was planning to be there too and once again, Mehri was insisting on double babysitting duty. Liz was a little hesitant to accept, but they all agreed that the ICU during the chaos of Samar waking up and being disconnected from intubation, was no place to take a baby.  

It probably helped that in the last couple of days, Mehri had gone into complete, unofficial-grandparent mode over Sammy just as quickly as she had over Leila months earlier. As Aram had joked; his mom just couldn't help herself. She insisted that if they were going to exert all their energies into looking after the kids and Samar, at the expense of themselves, then they didn't have much of a choice – _she_ was going to look after _them_. She was all too happy to dote on Sammy, and Liz too... And needless to say, Liz felt the same strange, but pleasant feeling at suddenly being claimed by a mother figure that Samar had –emphasis on _pleasant_. She could see straight away what it was about Mehri's quirky sweetness and dry sense of humour that Samar loved so much, and Liz loved it too.  

Aram sat back in his hospital chair with a soft smile on his face as he reflected on it all... No longer quite so perturbed by all the machinery. It still looked somewhat fearsome, but Aram had become accustomed to it enough now, that he could faze the noises out, and just focus instead on Samar. In what Aram was determined to consider some kind of progress, the hypothermia blanket had been removed after that first night, and he had been able to hold her hand ever since. Generally when sitting there alone, he had tried to regale Samar's sedated form with tales of his mom and Liz's shenanigans with Leila and Sammy, though after a while it had felt more like he was awkwardly talking to himself.  

Nonetheless, Aram persisted as he waited for Ressler to arrive, convinced that somehow... It _had_ to help.  

/*/*/*/*

**_SUNDAY AFTERNOON..._ **

A sudden beeping from the ventilator jolted Ressler from his daydreaming, and he looked up in alarm.   
'Uhh...' He began nervously, glancing wildly back and forth between Samar, the machine, and the nurse just a couple of feet away, 'what's going on? Is it supposed to beep like that?' Sudden beeping wasn't something that generally associated with positive connotations in Ressler's mind but as he furrowed his brow, glancing back at Samar again, nothing _seemed_ out of the ordinary.   
'That just means there's pressure in the tube,' the nurse's voice was calm and steady as she took a few steps closer and gestured to Samar's intubation, clearly used to both fretting visitors and whatever the different bells and whistles of the ventilator meant.   
'Pressure in the tube?' Ressler asked, not at all reassured, 'that doesn't sound like a good thing...' The nurse continued on her way around Samar's bedside, still completely calm. She tilted her head slightly, seemingly watching Samar and then the machine. A small smile crossed her face as she looked up again at Ressler, who was now standing, anxiously wringing his hands. He was hoping that nothing was wrong... Of all the people to be there if something went wrong, Ressler seriously didn't want it to be him –he felt out of his depth enough already as it was. Fieldwork he could manage without hesitation, potentially being faced with a not-quite-friend's medical emergency not so much... And the nurse's smile did little to convince him all was well. Nonetheless, she nodded.  
'Pressure in the tube _is_ a good thing,' she persisted, then pointed at the rise and fall of Samar's chest as she breathed, 'she's fighting the intubation, and instinctively trying to breathe on her own. Look, see how she's not breathing in time with the ventilator anymore?' Ressler dropped his gaze from the nurse to Samar, cautiously eyeing her still unconscious form. Sure enough, Samar was indeed breathing out of time with the machine.   
'Does that mean she's waking up?' He asked, panic beginning to rise in his voice again, 'isn't it too early? Is she ready? They said she wasn't supposed to wake up for a couple more hours...' The nurse gently raised one hand to calm him, and stop the rapid-fire series of questions.  
'If she can breathe on her own, then she's ready. It means we can start to wean her off the sedation now.' Ressler did a double take. _Now?_ Just as he wasn't necessarily comfortable with being the only one there for a potential emergency, he also didn't want to be the only one there when Samar woke up, and he knew Aram had his heart set on being there for that moment too.  
'Uhh...' Ressler began to stammer, but he was at a loss for what else to say. The nurse promptly busied herself with whatever it was she had to do next, leaving Ressler quickly fumbling for his phone to call Aram.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, Samar shot Maxwell, but didn't kill him. It's weird, I know. But, she has her reasons... Sort of. 
> 
> We're nearly at the end of this arc, you guys. Seriously. Next up; 'Reunited'!
> 
> Sidenote; in my copious amount of notes, I actually have this entire story plotted out on a timeline. Each chapter has a specific date as to where it happens in the story's chronology... I'm sorely tempted to start adding them to the chapter notes to perhaps make this easier to follow. Thoughts?


	36. Reunited

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Monday-Thursday, November 28-December 1, 2016.

**_MONDAY EVENING..._ **

An entire day had passed in what felt like a blur. The process of weaning Samar from the sedatives, little bit by little bit, and testing every so often for responses, took an hour. Aram and Liz arrived well in time, delighted to see Samar's groggy smile as the tubes were disconnected and she returned to the realm of consciousness. She was sleepy, and the nurses had informed Aram that Samar would probably remain that way for twenty four hours or so, but she had still managed snippets of conversation. Hugs were exchanged, albeit gently –nobody wanted to put any kind of pressure on Samar's broken ribs- and once Samar had reached gingerly for Aram's hand, he refused to let go until he was forced to do so a few hours later again when she was declared stable enough to be moved out of the ICU and into a regular room. Aram stayed with her all night and the early hours of the morning too, dozing on and off just as she did. The shifts by her side continued to rotate, Aram even more determined after Samar woke up, that she not be left alone. Liz's shift was next, then Ressler's; Aram hadn't wanted to leave her that long, but even in Samar's groggy state, she had pointed out that Leila needed him more... Before anxiously insisting that when he came back, he had to bring Leila with him.  

Now far more alert, once again it was Ressler's turn to sit with her, while she waited for Aram's return.

Liz's shift had been far chattier; a full report on everything that had happened at home while Samar was away, had been demanded and subsequently delivered –in sections at a time, between Samar's on and off dozing. Nonetheless, at each moment Samar was awake enough to take in a little more, Liz had been delighted to tell her as much as possible... She was all too glad to have Samar back safely.

Ressler's shift, by contrast, was far less chatty. He was glad enough to see her alive and well, and Samar was so relieved to be alive that she was pretty much happy to see, well... Everyone... Even Ressler. That said, Samar was eagerly awaiting Leila, and Ressler knew that though she was happy to see him, he was far from _the_ most important person for Samar to see. In terms of the priority list –Ressler was certainly on it, but he wasn't at the top. They also both had things on their minds; as Samar's grogginess had worn off, Ressler had relayed to her the details of everything that had happened with Social Services... But he left his wish to be part of Leila's life again, still hanging in the air. It really wasn't the most appropriate moment to launch into all that, no matter how concerned he remained for Leila's safety. Samar meanwhile, was already nervous; her time in captivity had slapped her with an awful enough reality check in itself, and the tale of Social Services' attempt at intervention only served to make her even more concerned. So despite how amazed she was at the way that they had all banded together while she was missing to protect her daughter, Samar was now itching to get out of hospital so that she could go home and sort out putting some safeguards in place for the future... And so, with both of them preoccupied with their worries, the rest of Ressler's shift had passed with nothing but odd moments of awkward smalltalk.

'I'm sorry...' Ressler eventually spoke up again, finally breaking the silence. Samar furrowed her brow in confusion as she shifted her gaze back to him, from staring absentmindedly out the window. Ressler wasn't looking at her but rather, staring at the linoleum floor.  
'What for?'  
'For letting him take you.' Samar's face softened, as she took in the miserable, guilty expression on his face.   
'You didn't have a shot,' she said quickly, 'if you hadn't let him pull me away, he would have killed me right then.' Samar hadn't wanted him to take the shot... As far as she was concerned, Ressler had done the right thing. Ressler finally looked up again, his gaze sweeping over all her bruises as it had countless times since they had found her.   
'Look at what he did to you...' He murmured.   
'But I'm still _alive_ , and I'm going to be fine.' Ressler gritted his teeth, adamantly shaking his head.  
'He nearly took you from Leila.' There was a certain vehemence to his tone, and Samar instantly understood Ressler's frustrations.  
'That's the risk I take with this job, and I don't want her growing up in a world with someone like Maxwell in it,' she said, with just as much determination. Samar shifted back in her hospital bed to sit up a little more, her eyes narrowing slightly as she pursed her lips. 'I'm not giving it up.'  
'I know, I'm not expecting you to...' Ressler's voice was quiet as he let out a weary sigh, 'the world just sucks sometimes.' He paused for a moment, contemplating all the cases he'd worked over the years, and all the awful people he'd come across in that time, before suddenly breaking the silence once again. 'But, if you don't want a world with Maxwell in it, why didn't you kill him?' Samar's gaze snapped to his, hesitating for a second. Having only really woken up properly in the last few hours, she hadn't yet given any kind of official statement to the FBI about what had happened while she was missing. She hadn't yet told anyone what Maxwell had done, or the threats that he had made.   
'I'm...' Samar dropped her gaze to stare absentmindedly at the patterning on her hospital blanket, 'actually, I'm not sure.' Ressler remained silent as Samar paused again, watching her eyes dart to the side as she seemed to reflect on whatever had happened to her. When she spoke up again, it was deathly quiet; 'he threatened Leila... He threatened Aram. He said if I didn't talk, he would hurt them like he hurt me.' The look on Ressler's face turned to one of furious thunder; threatening FBI agents was one thing, that was an occupational hazard they all accepted when taking the job... But threatening a _child?_ _His_ child? The only thing stopping Ressler from instantly marching out of that room to pay a visit of his own to Maxwell, was the confusion. The threat against Leila and Aram should have served to convince Samar even _further_ that she should kill Maxwell, not the reverse. None of it made any sense. Samar gave a small shake of her head, frowning in frustration as she looked up to face him again. 'I guess, I just wasn't thinking. He was there on the ground and it was the first chance I'd had to get away. I didn't care what happened to him, all I wanted was to get out of there and get back to Leila. It doesn't make sense to me either, but... I want the world to be a better place now for Leila, and how can it be if I kill an unarmed man laying on the ground?' Samar looked away again, almost as if embarrassed by the impulsive decision made in her agony-fuelled delirium. No matter how effective it had been –taking out Maxwell's kneecaps meant he wouldn't have been able to get up off the floor or give chase, and adding a round to his shoulder meant that in the slim chance he managed to reach for another weapon, his capabilities with it would have been significantly reduced- Samar wasn't sure if it was really something she would do again. In hindsight, a world where she killed a sadistic criminal on the ground still didn't seem half as bad as a world with the same sadistic criminal still living in it... But it was too late to change that now. She suddenly shot Ressler a small smile. 'I guess... If he's alive, you _can_ still say your piece to him before you drag him off to prison.' Ressler simply stared back at her in disbelief for a moment, before breaking into a chuckle.   
'Well...' Ressler grinned back, 'in that case, I guess I'll have to make sure that I do.'

/*/*/*/*

Samar watched the door to her hospital room like a hawk as she waited. Ressler had suggested before he left that she close her eyes again to try and rest at least a little more while she waited for Aram and Leila to arrive, but Samar had ignored him. Besides, she had rested enough during the day already. After everything that had happened, Samar didn't want to wait even a minute longer than she had to, to see her little girl again. Her eyes went wide and a breath caught in her throat as she strained to see as far down the hall as she could through the corner of the doorway, and finally spotted them in the approach to her room. Aram gingerly poked his head around the door, then instantly rushed across the room to her as he noted her staring, waiting for him. Holding Leila in one arm, and reaching out for Samar with the other, he leaned forward to embrace her as best he could as she –ignoring the pain- sat up further in her hospital bed and rested her head face first against his shoulder. They stayed there like that, tears streaming down Samar's face as they barely moved for what felt like a glorious eternity until the commotion caused Leila to begin to wail. In the entire time she had been captured, Samar hadn't cried... In the hours since waking up, not even her eyes had welled up, but now... Leila was so close and yet, despite Maxwell's threat still ringing in Samar's ears, she wasn't allowed to hold Leila herself for at least two weeks. Even that small amount of lifting would cause too much strain on her ribs and collarbone, and so as Samar had to settle for simply seeing Leila there in front of her, there was nothing she could do to hold back the tears. Aram pulled back a little, now sitting on the edge of the bed and slightly turned to one side so that he could face her, and used his free hand to brush the tangled hair off her face. Samar bit her lip, staring at Leila in overjoyed disbelief for a second, before reaching forward to gently grasp those tiny fingers. Almost as if sensing exactly who it was now right there beside her, Leila's cries quickly dissipated as she nuzzled into the crook of Aram's elbow.   
'She missed you,' Aram said softly, barely managing to hold himself together as he gazed at them both. 'I almost couldn't get her to sleep at all... I think she knew you weren't there.' Another breath caught in Samar's throat at that; she was too busy trying to stay calm as she focused intently on her daughter... The daughter she had honestly thought she might never see again. But, that didn't mean she wasn't listening to what Aram was saying. Aram stared at her, as she stared at Leila, before leaning forward again to gently kiss Samar's cheek.  
'She's grown,' Samar observed suddenly, her voice barely more than a whisper. Aram curiously shifted his gaze to Leila.  
'You think? She looks the same to me...'  
'You were there with her every day, you wouldn't have noticed. But when you've been away for a while...' Samar trailed off, the tiniest ghost of a smile beginning to creep across her face as Leila squirmed again.  
'It's only been a week,' Aram murmured, with a hint of amusement.   
'A week is a lot for a three month old.' Samar leaned forward again to kiss Leila's forehead. Her eyes crinkled happily as she whispered and tried to blink back the tears; 'I missed you too.' A grin lit up Aram's face, watching her linger there as close as she could to the baby in his arms.   
'Hey, I have an idea...' Still carrying Leila, he stood from the bed's edge and pulled open the door to the cupboard in the corner of the room with his free hand. Samar watched curiously, wondering what on earth he was doing; it was a small cupboard, generally for storing the personal effects of patients during their stays, but the topmost shelf held a few spare blankets and pillows. Aram pulled down one of the spare pillows, then let the cupboard door fall closed behind him as he hurried back across the room to Samar. He placed the pillow across Samar's legs then as he resumed his position sitting beside her on the edge of the bed, and carefully set Leila down atop the pillow. Samar beamed, finally understanding as she gingerly rested her arm around the pillow's edge; it was enough for her to support Leila independently and stop her from rolling off, but without Samar having to actually lift any weight or put any pressure on her injuries.   
'I need you to talk to me...' Aram trailed off anxiously, after a brief silence. His voice was quiet, barely more than a whisper and for a moment, Samar didn't respond. She was too busy watching Leila, with a strange, distant expression now slowly etching its way across her face. 'Samar...' No matter how intently she was trying to appear happy, and normal, there was no denying the fact Samar was emotional beyond her sheer delight at simply seeing Leila again. There was no way she wouldn't be, after the events of the last week. Samar might have possessed an incredible strength, but she was still human... And Aram was concerned that after all that trauma, Samar would begin to close off again, or eventually snap.   
'I'll be ok,' Samar murmured in response –once she had woken up properly and realised the full extent of her injuries, she had anticipated a certain degree of nervousness from Aram, and knew he would be worried. Aram furrowed his brow, almost unsettled by how calm she was forcing herself to sound.   
'How can you possibly be ok?'  
'Maxwell isn't the first to try to break me...' Aram gritted his teeth.  
'That doesn't make it alright.' It was _far_ from making things alright. It made Aram genuinely angry to think that for Samar over the years, being hurt like that had become some twisted kind of normal.   
'I know...' She said, as earnestly as she could muster, 'but Aram, I'm not going to fall apart, ok? I've survived worse, I can survive this too.' There was something about her eyes, and the look on her face, that told Aram that statement was painfully true, but he still wanted to be absolutely sure. Just because this trauma may not have been quite as bad as some in the past, that didn't mean this most recent one couldn't add to an accumulative effect.   
'Ok,' Aram reluctantly conceded –albeit not entirely. He was content to let her _insist_ that she was fine, but not to let her bottle it all up. 'I still want you to talk to me, though. Don't bury it.' Samar dropped her gaze and for a second, Aram was terrified that no matter how much Samar tried to tell him she would recover, she would eventually end up pulling away from him. Just the very idea had Aram's stomach doing nervous backflips; losing her and Leila now would be unbearable.   
'I can still hear Maxwell laughing at me,' Samar eventually –and quietly- let out, though still not meeting his gaze. Aram bit his lip, trying not to appear as upset by that as he felt. 'Every time he laughed, I tried to drown it out... But after a while, I couldn't anymore. It was like his voice was boring into my skull. I couldn't get it out of my head.' Samar trailed off, pausing for a while until her lip suddenly quirked up again.  'Do you want to know how I blocked it out?'  
'How?' Aram asked softly.  
'This,' Samar murmured, then tickled Leila's belly, prompting those sweet, gurgle laughs. Samar tilted her head up to face him again, but closed her eyes as she listened, smiling at the sound and letting it wash over her... Forcing the memories of Maxwell away, before sighing in relief and murmuring again; 'I remembered this.' Samar opened her eyes as she gently tickled Leila again, and Aram let out a quiet chuckle of his own. Samar's tiny smile vanished for a split second in favour of a wince as she raised her other hand to rest it against Aram's cheek while he continued to chuckle. 'This too... And now I have the real thing back, not just the memories.' Samar nodded earnestly, desperate to convince him. 'That's how I'll be ok. Maybe I'll have some rough days... But I'll get through them.'   
'And you'll talk to me, right?' Aram persisted. Samar sighed but nodded again and finally, Aram was satisfied. Rough days he could deal with... It was the anxious silence of not knowing how to help, that bothered him.

'Are _you_ ok?' Samar suddenly asked. Aram frowned in confusion.  
'Me?'  
'This doesn't just affect _me_ , I know that.'  
'I’m fine,' Aram said, stubbornly trying to shrug off the question. He was trying to be strong for her sake but the reality was, he _was_ badly shaken by having so nearly lost her –and Samar knew it just as well as Aram knew she didn’t always like to talk about things. Samar tilted her head, glancing at him quizzically.  
'I missed Thanksgiving, didn't I?' Thanksgiving was something both Aram and Liz had fiercely had their hearts set on even more so than usual this year, so the events of the last week aside, their celebrations being cancelled was nearly traumatic in itself.   
'Only sort of.' Aram let out a tiny grin; 'your spectacular reappearance was right on time.' Samar rolled her eyes, but felt a little better all the same.   
'What about all those plans you had?' Samar raised a curious eyebrow. Aram paused, eventually shooting her a wink.  
'Mom and Liz have it covered.'  
'...You _let_ Liz and your mom plan something? Together?' Samar asked warily.  
'Well, it wasn't so much that I _let_ them... They _insisted_ it was happening.' Aram rolled his eyes in mock exasperation. 'Dad and I decided it was safer just to stay out of their way.' Samar shook her head in amused disbelief before finally leaning into Aram's shoulder again, Leila still nestled carefully  on the pillow between them.   
'So we're ok?' She murmured.   
'Yes... ' Aram chuckled, as he buried his face in her hair, 'we, collectively, are ok.' Or rather, they would be, so long as they moved forward _together_.  

/*/*/*/*

**_THURSDAY EVENING..._ **

_'What are you guys doing for Thanksgiving?' Liz asked, bouncing on the balls of her feet in anticipation._  
_'My parents are driving over to visit,' Aram replied._  
_'Leila and I will have our first Thanksgiving at the same time, and apparently that's a big deal,' Samar promptly added, with a touch of amusement. Liz's eyes went wide in horror._  
_'Wait, what?'_  
_'You know Thanksgiving isn't a worldwide thing, right?' Samar chuckled._  
_'Right...'_  
_'Well, there you go.'_  
_'But you've been here two years now...' Liz uttered in disbelief. 'What did you do for the last two Thanksgivings?'_  
_'The same thing I did every other night before all this happened... My own thing, while you guys all did whatever you all normally do. Liz, you were still on the run with Reddington during the last one.'_  
_'Aram,' Liz huffed, turning to face the man in question –who was quietly watching the conversation unfold, amused by Liz sharing in the same horror that he too, had momentarily felt when he realised Samar had never celebrated Thanksgiving before- 'please make sure Samar's first real Thanksgiving is a good one.'_  
_'Why me?' Aram suddenly burst out, 'aren't you coming too?'_  
_'Your parents will be there,' Liz pointed out, rolling her eyes. She was hesitant about potentially invading his family's event.  
'So? Nobody's supposed to be alone on Thanksgiving.' Aram looked pointedly at Samar, who simply shrugged. 'Besides, the more the merrier.'_

A soft smile crossed Samar's face as she flashed back to that conversation from a few weeks earlier. It really did go to show just how much all their lives had changed and intertwined since Liz's name was cleared at the beginning of the year. Exactly one week on from her simultaneous escape and rescue, and there was no question that they were no longer just a team... They were a family. A family who bickered and made fun of each other just as much as they looked out for each other. For someone who had spent so much of her life on her own, it wasn't the easiest concept for Samar to adjust to but as she jokingly rolled her eyes at the sight of Liz, Aram, and his parents all strolling into her hospital room with ridiculous, enthusiastic grins plastered all over their faces for what Liz had affectionately dubbed 'Thanksgiving; take two', Samar had no desire in hindsight for things to have gone differently.  

Aram had discreetly tucked supplies for Liz and his mom's planned backup Thanksgiving, in the compartment under Leila's pram. His mom, much less discreetly by contrast, was openly carrying a huge picnic basket. Liz, and Aram's dad brought up the rear, the former with little Sammy in tow. She and Aram had spent the day trying –and failing- to help Mehri put together the turkey and trimmings they had planned to enjoy a week earlier, and now they were smuggling it into Samar's hospital room with plastic plates and cutlery.

A knock at the door caught their attention and caused them all to turn in surprise, right as Naveed began to hand out plates.  
'Ressler?' Liz's brow furrowed in confusion as the man in question hesitantly poked his head around the door.   
'Uh, hi...' Ressler's first step into the room was cautious as he took in the looks on all their faces. Liz wasn't the only one who seemed taken aback to see him suddenly appear at their festivities –in fact, the only person in the room who didn't seem surprised was Samar, and they all quickly turned to glance at her, each with one eyebrow raised quizzically.   
'I called him,' she murmured quietly. Samar gestured at the plates, and the container of foil wrapped roast potatoes that Mehri was pulling out of the wicker basket. Aram and Liz exchanged mildly bewildered expressions and Samar simply winced in pain as she shrugged her shoulders. 'What?' She mused, 'you guys kept telling me nobody is supposed to be alone on Thanksgiving...' Mehri let out a soft smile, and wordlessly nudged Naveed with her elbow until he shook off the disapproving frown he was sending in Ressler's direction and instead handed him a plate. Ressler gingerly took the plate, trying to ignore the awkward silence; he had anticipated feeling awkward with Aram's parents, given the complicated tangle between himself, Samar, Aram, and Leila, but he wouldn't have thought Aram and Liz would be so surprised to see him.  

Though apparently, Samar had forgotten to mention that she had called to invite him after hearing the plan.

Mehri lightly smacked the side of Aram's arm, making him jump and quickly shake off his own thoughtful, curious expression.   
'Aram, stop staring at him and help me put these vegetables on everyone's plates,' she muttered.   
'Mom...' Aram sighed, but nonetheless did what he was told, 'I'm thirty eight years old...' Mehri rolled her eyes.  
_'_ _And?'_  
'Are you ever going to stop telling me off?' The question was not so much a complaint or a whine, but more a half amused, half weary sigh.  
'I'm your mother,' she said drolly, eyeing him over his shoulder as she scooped potatoes onto Samar's plate. 'If you keep rudely staring at people, I'll make a point of still telling you off from my deathbed.' Aram raised his eyes to the ceiling in exasperated defeat. 'And _you_ ,' Mehri added, pointedly looking back at Samar again and gesturing at the potatoes with her serving spoon, 'make sure you eat all that, you're too skinny.' Mehri moved on through the room towards Ressler who politely accepted the potatoes without comment, far too amused by the proceedings to interject; _since when did anyone tell Samar off and get away with it?_ Samar simply gaped in response, as Mehri continued on from Ressler to the snickering Liz, apparently now on a roll. 'The same goes for you, Elizabeth...' Mehri frowned as she briefly looked Liz up and down, 'and don't laugh, I'm being serious.' Samar and Liz swapped stunned glances, as Mehri grumbled to herself and reached for the next thing in her basket.   
_'Elizabeth?'_ Samar mouthed to Liz, trying not to laugh. Nobody called her that, besides Reddington. Liz shrugged back, and Aram sighed again and shook his head. Though unlike him, Samar and Liz were both genuinely amused by Mehri telling them off; it actually felt nice –albeit in a slightly odd kind of way.

A second knock at the door jolted them from their musings, and a nurse suddenly peeked her head around the door.

'You have my apologies,' she began, 'but... We have a four visitor maximum on this ward, and we don't allow parties in the hospital rooms.' Ressler swept his gaze across the room, doing a quick headcount; with himself, Liz, Aram, Mehri and Naveed, there were _five_ adult visitors  in the room, plus little Leila and Sammy. With a sudden smirk, Ressler pulled out his badge, raising it for the nurse to see.  
'We'll keep the volume down,' he said, nodding earnestly, 'and we're only _one_ adult over the limit. If there's a need for any staff to come rushing in, we'll move out the way.' The nurse eyed the badge, narrowing her eyes in suspicion, but ultimately relented. The visitor limit was in place to prevent staff being hampered in their attempts to respond to emergencies, but Samar was at least, a low risk patient in that respect.  
'Ok,' the nurse said, with a touch of reluctance, 'but I'll have to enforce the rule after eight thirty.' And with that, she turned on her heels and left the room, leaving them all exchanging sheepish looks.   
'Oops,' Liz eventually let out. She chuckled to herself, before reaching forward to help Mehri with the pieces of turkey she had carved by hand at home earlier. The rest of them promptly followed suit, each taking and then swapping around the various trimmings between them. Silence filled the room as the conversation died away in favour of the cluttering of plastic knives and forks.  

Perhaps the team wasn't reunited in the way they had imagined while Liz was on the run from the Cabal, but they were reunited nonetheless...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And if anyone's still not satisfied about the fact Maxwell isn't dead, that'll come up again later, a few chapters down the track. I know, I wrote it yesterday ;) By the way, I've said a few times that I have some very lengthy plans for this story. If anyone has questions that I can answer without giving away spoilers, by all means, fire away! I love to chat! :)
> 
> Next up; Samar finally returns home, in 'Reactions'.
> 
> Sidenote; I don't know if any of you are also following my other, unrelated, Saram fic 'Homebound', but I updated that one today too, and there's a lengthy note at the end about how I may or may not continue it through Season 4. Not ranting, I promise! Check it out, if you haven't yet. Otherwise, I may mention here something else I said over there; if you'd prefer to comment on these stories via tumblr instead, I am over there as well. I don't post about my stories much over there anymore... I did for a while, and then I stopped because the only time anyone ever reached out to me in that respect, was to complain about my posting in the first place. But anyway, if you feel like saying hi, my tumblr is 'whimsyandsomething'. :)


	37. Reactions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Monday, December 5, 2016.
> 
> The ups and downs, laughter and frustration, of Samar finally returning home from hospital, trying to settle back into normal routine, and finding not everything is quite as easy as she would have thought after her whole ordeal...

'Hey... Aram?' Samar's voice called out hesitantly from the bathroom.  
'Yeah?' He answered, absentmindedly poking his head around the bathroom door. To a certain degree, Aram was a little nervous again. Samar had been up and down the entire way home from hospital that morning; flickering between relief at her week and half long stay coming to an end, and frustration at the steadily rising increase in the number of things she was realising she couldn't do on her own without moving her arms. It made it difficult to predict how she would react to each little thing.  

Aram froze as he saw her; she was in the shower –which he knew already- and suddenly, Aram could see the extent of the bruising from her recent ordeal. Samar had tried to keep as much of it covered as possible while she was still in hospital, and now Aram could see why; the dark purple and blue splotches covered at least half of her body. Aram had seen some –the marks on her arms, neck and face were harder to cover, but they also weren't anywhere near as bad as those on her chest, abdomen, and legs. A slight sick feeling settled in his gut as he took it all in, his heart aching again at the thought of just how badly she must have been beaten to be that badly bruised. She was far skinnier than Aram remembered as well. Samar had always been slim, but then she was fit and healthy. Now, not only had the last of her baby weight fallen away, but Aram could see far more of her ribs and hips bones than he would have wanted, too.  

'I can't lift my arms high enough to wash my hair,' she explained with a hint of annoyance, turning around in the shower to face him standing in the doorway, and suddenly wincing at the look on his face. Aram nodded, understanding exactly what the problem was; with her multiple shattered ribs, Samar wasn't really supposed to be lifting her arms at all, let alone above her head. He had already had to help her with her shirt when she undressed -she had asked him to unbutton it, but had said not to look or help pull the sleeves off- though apparently, they had both forgotten about her hair before she jumped in the shower straight after arriving home.    
'Uhh, right,' was all Aram could say. Still stunned, he quickly undressed, and stepped through the glass door into the shower beside her.  
'Please don't look at me like that,' Samar said quietly, without meeting his eye. That was precisely why she had hoped he wouldn't have to see the full extent of her bruises; she knew he would be upset, and she couldn't bear the achingly sympathetic look that would undoubtedly be on his face. Samar just wanted to try and get everything back to normal, which was difficult enough already as it was _without_ Aram's fussing over her increasing any more. But realistically, Samar knew the bruising would take time to heal, and Aram would have to see it at some point. She had just hoped it wouldn't be quite so soon. Somewhere in the back of Aram's mind, the meaning of what Samar had just said actually registered; _he was staring_ . His eyes suddenly snapped up to look at her face instead, as he finally clicked that despite the fact she had agreed not to bottle it all up, she still wasn't entirely comfortable with him seeing her like that.  
'Sorry,' he muttered sheepishly.   
'I'm fine, don't panic,' she began, her voice calm in an effort to quash any potential fussing before it started, 'but, could you just help me with my hair?' Aram nodded again, and glanced down at the different coloured shampoo and conditioner bottles scattered along the edge of the shower tiles. Samar kept a handful of different ones on standby at any given time, her preferences for them changing based on her mood. Aram gestured at the different options, unsure which one to reach for.  
'Which one do you want?' Samar glanced for a split second at the choices, noting that Aram had quickly managed shift his focus on to the task at hand despite still being unsettled, before turning her gaze back to him and letting out a tiny smile to try and ease the tension.  
'Surprise me.' A frown of concentration crossed Aram's face as he considered the three potentials and tried to figure out what the pattern was in the way she usually made her decision. The fruity one that Aram couldn't identify with any degree of specificity unless he actually read the label was one that, now he thought about it, tended to appear in his memories of her more playful moments. By contrast, the lavender one was what she seemed to choose when she was particularly tired, or if she'd had a rough day –it helped to relax her when she was stressed. As for the third option –the rose scented one in the bright red bottle- Aram couldn't for the life of him figure out if he had ever even noticed her use that one, let alone what it was for. He cast Samar a brief, sideways glance and noted that despite her attempts to appear calm, her shoulders were still a little tensed, before finally making an executive decision. He reached for the jumbled row of bottles, and picked up the light purple one, finally holding it up for Samar's approval. She nodded, as her shoulders relaxed a little more, and her smile widened. _Good choice_. Samar turned on the spot so that her back was to Aram, and he wordlessly got to work; lathering the shampoo through her hair and scrubbing probably not quite as thoroughly as Samar normally would, but close enough. Samar closed her eyes, enjoying the smell of lavender filling her nostrils and instantly feeling more at ease.   
'Tip your head back under the water,' Aram instructed. His voice was still uneasy, as he tried to think of anything to say to break the awkward silence... But all he could think of was reminding himself not to stare, and not to fuss. It was hard to see her so hurt, and be so upset by it but not really be able to discuss it the way he wanted to. Nonetheless, Samar tipped her head back as instructed, allowing the hot water to flow through her hair as Aram washed away the remnants of the shampoo before moving on to the conditioner. Samar remained equally quiet, just as unsure what to say, but choosing to instead focus on the comfort of the hot water and Aram's presence. She leaned back against him as the conditioner too, finally washed away, and let out a contented sigh. Despite the silence, the sensation of him working away at her hair _was_ quite relaxing. Aram's hands dropped to her waist, wrapping around her and gently pulling her in close as he leaned his head over her shoulder and pressed a kiss to her cheek.  

'You know I would tell you if I really wasn't fine, right?' Samar finally let out after a moment's pause. Aram hesitated, but after their conversation in the hospital, he was determined to have faith.  
'I know.' He nuzzled into her neck as she leaned back against him further still, the hot water continuing to cascade over the both of them. The silence was no longer awkward now but rather, simply peaceful. She let out another contented sigh as Aram absentmindedly ran his hands up and down her sides, careful not to put any pressure on her ribs...

...And then he suddenly stopped.

Samar opened her eyes again, throwing him another sideways glance –but this time in confusion.  
'Why'd you stop?' She murmured, a flash of disappointment lingering in her voice.  
'Uhhh....' Aram trailed off, quickly pulling away from her. Samar turned around to face him properly, and her lip then quirked up in amusement as she happened to glance down and notice the dilemma.   
'Oops.'   
'Cuddling, naked, in the shower...' Aram muttered to himself, shifting awkwardly on his feet, 'remind me why I thought that was a good idea?' Samar grinned.  
'I think it sounds like a _great_ idea,' she chuckled. Aram shot her a look of mock-exasperation.   
'Well, me too. _Normally_. But not right now. Not when, you know... You can't....'   
'-Ugh, babies and broken ribs...' Samar gently teased, cutting off his embarrassed stammering. 'They spoil all the fun.'  
'Sorry,' Aram mumbled, his shoulders now slightly raised as he struggled to meet her gaze. No matter how content she seemed to be with joking about it, he still felt a little guilty. It wasn't Samar's fault they had to wait, and he hated the idea of potentially making her uncomfortable… Or seeming impatient. Samar shrugged nonchalantly.   
'It's a totally normal reaction.' If anything, she felt sorry for him. They had only managed a few times after their first night together, before her growing belly had just made things all too uncomfortable... And though the bare minimum eight weeks since Leila's birth had passed long ago, even the doctor had warned them both –it could take months before she would really be ready. Then of course, now Samar was injured on top of that, regardless of how ready she felt, and how badly she desperately longed for that closeness just as much as Aram did. Nonetheless, she had to hold out... And that meant Aram was holding out too. It was no wonder he had reacted so quickly. 'But...' Samar murmured, taking a half step closer to him, a small smile creeping across her face. 'Just because I have to wait, doesn't mean you have to.' A breath caught in Aram's throat as he suddenly noted the presence of Samar's fingertips dancing softly around his waist.  
'Uhhh.... Nope,' Aram's voice cracked, as he pulled away from her yet again. Samar's lip twitched in amusement. 'I mean, not that I don't _want_ to... I _do_ want to but just, uh, not right now,' he began to stammer, before wincing and taking a deep breath to try and steady his thought process –it was so difficult to focus when she was right there in front of him and he wanted to look her in the eye but at the same time, avoid looking at her entirely in an attempt to ease the situation. 'What I'm trying to say is... If you wait, I wait. It's not fair if you don't get to enjoy yourself too...' -Samar let out a soft smile at the blush distinctly and rapidly racing across his face- 'and, uh... I prefer it be something we do, you know... Together.' Samar's eyes crinkled slightly as her smile widened, and she stepped towards him again to press a kiss to his cheek.  
'Ok,' she whispered.   
'Samar...' Another breath caught in Aram's throat; Samar standing there pressed up against him only exacerbated the already distracting, tingling sensation rapidly spreading across his lower half. 'You're really not helping.' Samar recoiled in mild horror, realising that for herself at the very same second he said it.   
'Right, sorry.' She said quickly, wincing not in pain this time, but instead sympathetically. 'Shall I leave you in here?'  
'Yeah, ok.' Aram sighed. He let out a sheepish grin as Samar stepped out of the shower. 'I'll turn the cold water on.'

/*/*/*/*

Aram too, eventually stepped out of the shower and towelled off. He wrapped the towel around his lower half, pausing just as he tucked in the corner as the sound of frustrated grumbling from the bedroom, sailed through the air into the bathroom. Raising a worried eyebrow, he hurriedly poked his head around the door to see what was going on. Samar was sitting on the edge of the bed, still only half dressed, and grimacing as she looked down and wrestled with her buttons.  

Just like that, the flash of happiness and amusement in the shower, had vanished as quickly as it had appeared.

With hint of caution, Aram crossed the bedroom, stopping just in front of her.  
'Everything ok out here?' He asked quietly. With that, he was really wanting to ask if he could give her a hand, but Samar was already grappling with the temporary loss of independence -which, for someone like Samar who was so fiercely independent to start with, was even _worse_ \- and pre-emptively offering to help while she was still determinedly trying to manage the task herself, wouldn't help. Samar grumbled something partially unintelligible under her breath that sounded vaguely like a multilingual string of expletives, and Aram had to resist the urge to let out a chuckle. She couldn't bend to pull on pants while standing, but Samar had found that she could at least put them on if she sat on the edge of the bed and did most of the work with her legs instead. Shirts on the other hand, were more difficult. Anything that had to be pulled over her head was out of the question, because that meant raising her arms too high... Unless of course, she gingerly shimmied her arms in from the front, and then had Aram pull the shirt over her head for her. However, neither of them had thought the alternative of shirts that buttoned up from the front would be too much of an issue. But apparently, the angle at which Samar had to bend her arm to do up some of those buttons –namely, the upper ones- was a problem not necessarily for her ribs, but for her fractured collarbone. Samar glanced up at him, and Aram instantly understood. Her eyes were reluctantly asking the question she so hated to voice; _help?_ Faster than Samar could blink, Aram shot her a small smile and then quickly did up the remaining three buttons.    
'What am I?' Samar sighed, 'five years old? I can't even dress myself properly... And I can't dry my hair either.'  
'Now, I'm no expert there,' Aram tried for her sake to withhold yet another laugh at the scowl on her face as he picked up the towel she had dropped on the floor when she dressed, and held it up, 'but I think I can manage this one for you.' Samar stood and warily tipped her head back, and Aram ducked behind her, vigorously running the towel through her long tangles of dark hair until it was no more than damp to touch. Without a word, Aram then hurried back into the bathroom, leaving her standing there. Samar raised a curious eyebrow at the sound of him apparently rummaging for something in the bathroom, but instead dismissed it –instead opting to gingerly run her fingers through the tail ends of her hair. Aram had left it even more tangled with his borderline scrubbing to dry it, but Samar wasn't fazed. It was certainly better than leaving her hair dripping down the back of her shirt. Untangling it could wait. In the meantime, she was simply impressed at how quickly Aram had managed to dry it -considering how thick her hair was- and more and more curious at what on earth he was doing in the bathroom the longer he was in there.  

'How do you _only_ have _one_ hair tie in there?' Aram's exasperated voice drifted out of the bathroom just two seconds before he did, the one elusive hair tie firmly grasped in his hand. He was sure he had seen her with more than that before, but then again... _She did keep losing the damn things_. Samar smirked in amusement, before casually gesturing at the nightstand on her side of the bed;  
'I leave them over there,' she commented, 'I don't put them back in the drawers. I use them too often.' Aram's gaze darted quickly to the nightstand in question, spotting the miniature mountain of black hair ties sitting to one side in a blue mosaic dish.  
'Oh.' Aram grinned sheepishly, 'that would make sense.'   
'You should have told me that's what you were looking for,' Samar chuckled, as Aram ducked behind her again. 'Wait, _now_ what are you doing?' She tilted her head, trying to glance incredulously over her shoulder at him while he took her hair in his hands once more.   
'Tying it back so it's not in your way while it's still damp,' he murmured. His brow furrowed as he spoke again, with a slight huff of mock-exasperation; 'and it's kind of difficult to do that when you keep turning your head, by the way.' Samar immediately stopped moving, as Aram pulled her hair back into a rough pony tail, then stood back to admire his handiwork. Deducing after a second or two of silence that it was safe to move again, Samar turned on the spot to face him, a small smile on her face once more.  
'Have you ever _done_ a pony tail before?' She asked quietly. Aram shook his head.  
'Nope,' he chirped. Samar's lip quirked up, glancing back and forth for a moment between Aram and the door to the bathroom, before suddenly darting towards the door to look in the mirror. Aram scurried along behind her, eager to hear the verdict. He studied the expression on her face as she glanced in the mirror, suddenly nervous. 'Yeah, I know...' He mumbled, 'it's a little messy.' Messy was an understatement; most of the shorter strands were sticking out everywhere, and the whole pony tail itself was wonky -but Samar wasn't bothered by that at all. She was too exhausted... And Aram was trying so hard to be helpful, despite her own moments of crankiness every time she found yet _another_ thing she couldn't do on her own.  He was far too thoughtful for her to be bothered by something so trivial, and far too sweet.  
'Who said it had to be neat?' A soft smile lit up Samar's face, 'it's not like I'm going anywhere.' Aram grinned, pleased with himself. At least in this case it was just as easy to make her smile again, as it was for her to grow frustrated with herself. She pressed a quick kiss to his lips, before heading for the door again. 'You get dressed,' she said softly, 'I'll make coffee.' Aram raised a wary eyebrow.  
'Do you need a hand with that?' Samar furrowed her brow in determination. Not being able to do the things she wanted had Samar far more irked than she would have first thought, but she was insistent on at least _trying_ to get as much done as possible.    
'Well... There's no heavy lifting, no stretching, no bending my arms at weird angles... I’m pretty sure I can make coffee.' She gave a decisive nod just for added emphasis, before disappearing through the door, and making her way towards the kitchen. Aram hesitated for a second, awfully tempted to follow after her just in case, but ultimately decided against it. It was important that she at least maintain some degree of independence.

/*/*/*/*

The sight of Samar standing at the door to the pantry, glaring up at the top shelf in frustration again, was what greeted Aram once he was dressed and had picked up Leila from her crib. Two coffee mugs sat on the counter, ready for use... But that seemed to be as far as Samar had managed to get in regards to making the coffee. Aram crept up behind her, peeking over her shoulder up at the top shelf and immediately noted the problem; in Samar's absence, the coffee had been shifted three shelves higher... And now sat front and centre on the top shelf –which of course, Samar couldn’t reach without raising either of her arms -almost as if it was there simply to taunt her. With a small sigh, Aram quickly reached up and took the coffee from the shelf, then handed it to her.   
'Sorry,' he murmured, shooting her a guilty grin. 'I moved a few things around when Mom couldn't reach the cereals.' Samar let out a weary sigh of her own;  
'It's not your fault,' she murmured back, trying to reassure him. It was the little things that were the most irritating; the sorts of things that were so minor, Samar normally didn't even think about them, but were now nearly impossible. Aram stood back quietly as Samar finished off making the coffee, both of them glad that a high shelf was the only issue in _that_ particularly vital task. He watched her wander wordlessly over to the couch, coffee stubbornly in hand, and his lip quirked up as an idea came to mind. Leila's much loved rose blanket still lay strewn across the couch, right next to where Samar now sat. Aram scurried across the room to Samar's side, gently setting Leila down on the blanket beside her... And that was all it took for that tiny ghost of a smile to reappear once more on Samar's face; _thank goodness there were only six more days until she could hold Leila again -or at least, in small doses anyway_. Aram grinned back, watching her exhale slowly in relief as she gazed down at Leila waving her little arms around beside her. Perhaps he didn't have to be quite so on edge or concerned that she might snap after all... Nor so cautious about offering to help. Just as it was the smallest of things that frustrated Samar, so too did the smallest gestures of kindness make her feel better again.   
'What else I can do?' He asked softly, after a moment's pause. Samar glanced up again, hesitant at first to relent and ask for anything, but ultimately gave in. No matter how much it made her want to scream her frustrations from the top of a building, the reality was; she couldn’t do everything she wanted to do... And all Aram wanted to do was make things easier for her.  
'Could you pass me my laptop?' She began, with a slight uneasiness to her voice. 'There are a couple of things I want to look into before your parents get here for lunch.' Aram nodded, and did so –curious as to what she was researching, but opting not to ask- before turning his attentions back to Leila, and taking a seat of his own on her other side. Samar finally relaxed back into the corner of the couch and opened her laptop, eyeing the both of them over the top of the screen in amusement as she brought up the emails she had been exchanging back and forth with her lawyer when trying to organise her will before her maternity leave ended. Now home from the hospital, there was a priority list of things to sort out.  

More than anything else –frustrations included- Samar was anxious to ensure Leila's safety... Before anything else happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yes, I did end up going back through each chapter and adding the dates at the top of the notes, in the end. If you're curious but don't want to go back through them all, Chapter 1 started at Saturday, February 6, 2016. Sammy was born July 27, and Leila was born August 23. When I started, I never thought this was going to go further than a couple of short chapters that I was writing for the fun of it... And now it's up to December! (*hint hint* it's a still a couple of chapters away for you guys, but I am writing a Christmas chapter at the moment!) Just thinking back on that, and I can't believe that anyone is still following along after all of it. Thank you, honestly. Every single one of those comments is a beautiful gem that makes me grin like an idiot, and encourages me to keep going. You guys are the absolute best. :)
> 
> Next up; Aram makes a startling discovery of his own at Samar's apartment, and we step back for a moment to address some more unanswered questions about Samar's past with baby Shahin... In 'Reflections'.


	38. Reflections

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Sunday, December 11, 2016. 
> 
> Apologies for the delay, folks! Sometimes life gets in the way of updates, much to my dismay...

With a tired but happy sigh, Aram re-entered what was now officially –name added to the lease and everything- both his _and_ Samar's apartment for what felt like the umpteenth, and hopefully final time that day. The lease on his old apartment was almost up, and now that it was nearly a week on from Samar's return from hospital, and his parents had returned home to Delaware, Aram's old apartment had finally been vacated for the last time. This weekend, the task at hand was packing up the last few things that still remained scattered around, moving over to Samar's apartment everything Aram wanted to bring with him, and placing everything else in storage.  

Needless to say, boxes were everywhere as things were sorted, packed, moved around, and all of their belongings were merged into one new collection.

Aram dumped the latest box brought up from his car, onto the wood floorboards of the bedroom, before taking a moment to breathe, and stretch his tired arms. He was there alone; though it was finally the day where Samar could at least begin to hold Leila's weight again for short periods, the heavy lifting of boxes for a move between apartments would still be too much for her injuries to handle. However, neither of them wanted her to trail around after him miserably all day, watching him move things, but otherwise unable to help, and so she and Leila were out with Liz and Sammy, having a much needed day to themselves again. They had been out for a few hours already, likely huddling in some warm café over cups of coffee to hide from the spatterings of snow that had started to fall again after they left, and Aram sincerely doubted they would wait much longer before returning.  

He cast his gaze absentmindedly around the room, then suddenly did a double take. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted the safe that Samar kept under the bed –one of a small handful scattered around the apartment so that not all the eggs were kept in one basket, so to speak. It was her main safe, the huge steel beast with the most complicated security lock system Aram had ever seen -both a numbered passcode and fingerprint scan were required to get into it, and both had to be done at the same time, making it a two-hands process. It was where Samar kept all of her important documentation; passports, other forms of identification, Mossad files, and every other form of paperwork she had to keep filed away. It was the one safe in the apartment that Aram knew the exact location of –the others were smaller and though Aram knew of their existence, they were hidden in or under or behind various other things, and Aram didn't know exactly where. Normally he didn't even think about them. Normally, not even this particular safe captured his attention for a second.

However, on this occasion the door was open –whenever Samar had accessed it last, she had closed it without looking... And the door had caught on a few pieces of paper, and not closed properly.

Aram bit his lip, not sure whether to try closing it without looking, or to ignore it and not touch it at all in favour of just pointing it out to Samar when she got home. He knew why it had been opened in the first place; she had mentioned in the last couple of days that in light of recent events, she was working on her will, but Aram knew no more specifics than that. He had no idea what exactly, was _in_ the safe, or how any of it would pertain to her will... Nor what was in her will itself either. Apparently, she wasn't quite up to the point in the process where they were supposed to have that conversation. Aram tossed up the options in his mind; though curious, he really didn't want to pry into whatever Samar kept in there –he had a certain respect for boundaries that such a move would violate. But on the other hand, he didn't want to leave the safe open either. Of all the potential days to be robbed, Aram had the natural inclination to believe that on the off chance the apartment _was_ ever broken into, it would undoubtedly be on the day that something valuable or private was left openly laying around. Call it paranoia or not, but Aram wasn't prepared to take that chance.

He could reach down with his eyes closed, shove the paper back in and shut the door again all without looking, right?

He crouched down by the bedside, as close as he could to the safe while still looking in the opposite direction, then finally closed his eyes. Aram gingerly reached under the bed, working solely by touch to try and gather up the few pieces of paper that were falling out of the safe. He pushed not one, not two, but _five_ pages back in... Before suddenly toppling over on his feet and sending the top pile of pages in the safe flying all over again, and even further than they had before. Aram sighed to himself in frustration, lightly smacking his head against the edge of the navy blue blanket-clad mattress; _how was he supposed to collect them all without looking now?_ Quickly regaining his balance, Aram reached around wildly under the bed for as many pages as he could while keeping his gaze directed distinctly upwards. Once those were all back in the safe and he was content that there were then no more pages he could reach, Aram cautiously tipped his head to look under the bed just to make sure he hadn't missed anything.  

There was one page still laying on the floor, _just_ out of reach.  

Aram shuffled across and stretched his arm a little further under the bed to reach it, just managing to snag the corner and pull it back towards himself. He was determined not to look and see what it was –just noting that it was in fact a single, white page, with what looked like one paragraph of black font, and a stamp at the bottom that seemed to match the seal emblazoned on the top left corner... But the closer towards himself Aram pulled that piece of paper across the floor, the more difficult it was not instinctively skim read the words on the page. He furrowed his brow curiously, as it registered in Aram's brain that the words were not in English but in fact, French. Aram didn't understand any more than the small fragments of high school French classes that were buried deep in the back of his mind, but there were numbers, dates, and certain words on the page that he could identify in _any_ language... Samar's name, Levi's name, and the name of one Shahin Navabi-Shur.  

It was little Shahin's birth certificate.  

The curious frown on Aram's face only intensified as he stared at it. A million questions all began voicing themselves simultaneously in his mind as Aram tried to reflect on all that Samar had told him so far about her past; that little Shahin had been born while she and Levi were stationed somewhere for a classified Mossad operation, and that it had been somewhere where the medical facilities at hand weren't equipped to look after him. Samar had given no clues whatsoever as to where in the world that particular 'somewhere' actually was but for some reason, French was not high on the list of languages Aram would have expected to see if he was asked to pick any one of the world's spoken tongues for that particular piece of paper. Nonetheless, Aram gazed at that stamp that said something he didn't quite understand about the Republic of France, and wondered... _Now what was he supposed to do with it?_

/*/*/*/*

Aram busied himself with unpacking the last couple of boxes from his car, _anything_ really, not to think about the certificate that now sat back under the bed, but atop the safe it belonged to. He hadn't been sure what to do; whether to hurriedly shove it back in the safe and pretend nothing had happened, to pull it out and outrightly –and honestly- admit to the discovery with as quick and undemanding an explanation as possible, or to leave it where it was and hope Samar would bring it up. That last one was the choice Aram had made, though he still wasn't sure if it was the right one. On one hand, he wanted to know more about the mysterious, little Shahin, but on the other hand, he worried that every new thing he learned would only make him want to know more than what Samar could tell him. Though knowing of his name and existence, Samar hadn't even given him an approximate year for that particular chapter of her past, but now Aram knew. One thing he had understood was where the certificate had stated Shahin's date of birth as December 18th, 2010... Just a little less than exactly six years earlier. Aram frowned miserably as he paused for a second to figure what day of the week that would be during the current year, and made the awful realisation.  

_The anniversary was just a week away_.  

He moved on from the boxes to shuffle around the books on the bookshelf, fitting in his own collection right beside Samar's, and desperately trying to push the discovery out of his mind. Given the overlap with Samar's assignment at the time, the details were classified, and no matter how badly Aram wanted to know, or how badly Samar may eventually want to tell him, technically it wasn't allowed. Aram shook his head; more than anything, it was probably better for everyone if he just tried to forget what he had seen.  

And then as the sound of the front door unlocking, and Samar and Liz in the midst of their own conversation as they entered the apartment, floated through into the living room where Aram currently stood, he jumped.  

He stood there, like a deer caught in headlights as Samar and Liz stepped out of the hallway and into the room, with the two little ones in tow.   
'Hi,' Aram tried to greet them as normally as he could muster, but his voice cracked. Samar stared back at him, perplexed. Everything seemed normal; boxes and other bits and pieces still remained scattered over all across the apartment, and Aram seemed to be quite innocently stacking books on the shelf... And yet, he was acting decidedly _not_ normal.    
'Hi...' Samar trailed off warily in response. Liz simply bobbed her head, essentially going along with Samar's own greeting. Aram’s heart sank a little further still at the observation that Liz’s eyes were slightly puffy, undoubtedly an indication that it was one of her less than cheerful days again -but he was glad that in that case, at least she wasn’t alone for the day.

Samar turned to slowly set her bag down on the counter where the kitchen faced the living room, not entirely sure whether or not she wanted to know whatever it was that Aram had gotten himself into in her absence, and Liz promptly followed suit.    
'I found-' Aram began to blurt out, before glancing at Liz and hurriedly stopping himself. He winced, internally cursing himself. Now there was no way to pretend he hadn't seen it. '-A thing...' He tried to finish the sentence, before rambling onwards; 'a totally normal thing, and I don't even know why I brought it up, because-'   
'-Aram,' Samar interjected, bracing herself, and wondering what on earth of the numerous things she had hidden around the apartment that Aram could have found. For a brief moment, she wondered which would be the least difficult to explain. 'What did you find?' She finally asked. Aram's gaze darted nervously to Liz and then back again, already certain that if he wasn't supposed to know, then Liz wasn't supposed to know either.  
'Uhhh....' Aram bit his lip, glancing for a split second at Liz again. Liz looked back and forth between them, eyebrows raised warily.   
'Should I go?' She asked quietly. Samar shook her head.  
'No,' she said simply, letting out a reluctant sigh. 'Whatever it is, Aram probably shouldn't have found it, but he has so... If he knows, you may as well know too.' She turned back to look at Aram, demanding –albeit gently- the inevitable explanation. Aram paused for a moment, unsure of the best way to explain what had happened. He took a quick breath, before launching into as fast a summary as he could manage, all of it running into one long, breathless sentence about the safe being left open, and his attempts to push all the paper back in without looking. Samar quickly ran through in her mind, all the things she kept in that safe, wondering what on earth Aram could have found that would have him so flustered, all the while more amused than anything else at the way Aram had at least very specifically _tried_ not to snoop. She let out a small smile before gently raising one hand to stop him in his rambling; 'ok, ok.. So you accidentally saw something in there, right?' Aram nodded quickly.  
'This isn't one of those 'if I told you, I'd have to kill you,' type of situations, right?' Samar shook her head, mildly concerned, but not at all upset.  
'What did you find?' She asked again, even more gently this time. There was no point in being angry with him; he very clearly hadn't gone looking for anything on purpose, and he was in enough of a flurry already himself, for Samar to know that Aram really did feel anxious about whatever it was he had seen. By now, ‘classified’ had gone flying well out of the window. Aram dashed out of the room for a minute, leaving Samar and Liz standing there swapping confused glances, before running quickly back, the piece of paper now in hand. Gingerly, he reached out to hand it to Samar.  
'This...' He said, a breath catching in his throat. Samar stared down at the page, her face instantly crumpling as she realised what it was. Liz stole just enough of a glance to take in what Aram initially had, her own minimal recollection of high school French enough to figure out for herself what it was. She suddenly averted her gaze, now knowing exactly why Aram was so nervous. Liz knew as much as he did, and had puzzled over the same questions in her own mind, just as cautious as he was about asking Samar for the rest of the story.   
'Well,' Samar quietly began, 'at least it's not a Mossad file, I guess...' She was trying to deflect, and it was glaringly obvious.   
'You don't have to say anything,' Aram added, and Liz hurriedly nodded her agreement, 'but I just couldn't _not_ tell you that I found it.' Samar glanced up again, taking in Aram's furrowed brow, his tensed shoulders, and his hair sticking out to one side as it always did when he had spent a significant amount of time anxiously running his hands through it. She shot him another small smile, then slowly pulled off her thick, winter coat. She took the few steps across the room and around the couch to sit down, tossing the coat over the back of the couch, carefully balancing Leila on her lap and staring back at that single piece of paper in her hand. Aram and Liz trailed behind, each cautiously taking a seat of their own.

'What do you want to know?' She murmured, after a short silence –determined to stay calm.    
'Everything,' Aram pleaded, ' _anything_ , I don't know... You said the hospital couldn't look after him... You said you were stationed on assignment, but you were in France. Samar, I don't _understand_.'  
'Mossad operates the world over,' Liz observed, 'but what _I_ don't get, is why you were on assignment at the time.'

'It was supposed to be surveillance only,' Samar explained, carefully choosing her words as she spoke so as to give away as few unnecessary Mossad details as possible. She couldn't tell them what or who exactly was being surveilled but then again... _That wasn't really the important part_. 'It was supposed to be long term, undercover, surveillance only. Levi and I went together, and I didn't fall pregnant until after we'd been there for a few months already. I couldn't leave, it would have blown our cover. Plus, we figured... Surveillance only... It was safe enough to stay. If anything, staying there through all that made our cover all the more believable. Since when does anyone suspect a visibly pregnant lady of being a spy?' Samar dropped her gaze, her dark eyes now directed firmly -and almost shamefully- at the wood floorboards.  
'...But?' Aram prompted. He was sitting forward in his seat, leaning his elbows on his knees, anxious to understand -and only inches away in case he needed to reach out to her- as Samar gave another small sigh.  
'But...' She began again, 'we were in the countryside, up by the coast. The people we were surveilling were trying to hide out up there, out of the way where they thought nobody was looking... Some of those tiny towns are hours apart from each other, and the hospitals are only equipped for the basics. For anything more specialised, like neonatal emergencies, you have to go elsewhere. I was supposed to head back to Paris a couple of weeks before Shahin was born, just to be safe, but... He came so early, I hadn't left yet.' Samar paused, glancing back and forth between Liz and Aram before continuing. Her voice was quiet, and shaking as she wavered slightly, but she was determined to hold it together. Samar gritted her teeth in frustration at herself. She had long since taken Aram's suggestion to grieve properly now, and in the time since, she had given up denying to herself that it had happened. To a certain degree, that made it a little less difficult to talk about it, but at the same time, it was never going to be an entirely easy story to tell. She was trying to gloss over it so that she could quickly get past it and move on, but even Samar knew... It was all too complicated to rush through and still make sense.  

Aram quietly shuffled forward a little further, reaching for her hand and taking it in his. Liz frowned, her own gaze darting sideways for a moment as she puzzled over the information.   
'And in that condition...' Liz eventually spoke up, not to anyone in particular, but simply in an effort to make sense of it all, and not let her emotions get the better of her despite the day she was having; 'it would have been difficult to transport him elsewhere.' She looked up again, the expression on her face contorted in the gentle demand for clarification. Samar simply nodded in response, and Liz's face crumpled miserably. Aram closed his eyes, tilting his head down and slowly exhaling, crestfallen. They both understood; a specialised vehicle would have been needed to make that trip, one fitted with all the equipment necessary to help Shahin in his battle to live... And in a tiny town with a tiny hospital, the likelihood of having a vehicle like that ready on hand was slim.

Essentially, little Shahin had never even had a chance.

'We were stuck there too,' Samar added quietly, 'Levi had an old teammate in London who was ready to fly a helicopter over to meet us, but landing it where we were would have blown our cover, _and_ there was a storm. The wind was blowing the snow everywhere, and the few roads out that weren't blocked, were covered in ice. We couldn't drive anywhere, not to another town to meet him there once the storm had passed, or to the next best hospital. Either option would have taken hours, and the roads weren't safe for a drive like that, even if there _was_ a vehicle that could take him.' Silence fell between the three of them, Aram and Liz not wanting to interject any more than they absolutely had to so that Samar could just get it all off her chest, all the while Samar breathed slowly, trying to keep her calm. Aram gave her hand a gentle squeeze, proud of the way she was slowly coming to terms with it all as time went on. In five years, she hadn't dealt with it properly but now finally, over the last year, she had started to. Aram sat there, quietly reflecting back on the last few months, from that first morning in April where Samar had barely been able to begin to explain through her terrified, devastated tears... To now, where she was visibly upset, but accepting nonetheless. 'That's it,' Samar mumbled, barely audible despite the otherwise silent space around her. 'Now you know everything, even things Levi and I were never supposed to say to anyone. There's nothing more to tell.' Liz shuffled over on Samar's other side, until she was close enough for Samar to rest her head on her shoulder, the three of them once again forming their quiet, jumbled line of misery and comfort.  
'If only he hadn't been in such a hurry to meet the world...' Liz sighed bitterly. If only Samar had made it to Paris, perhaps the discovery that Shahin was sick would have been made in time, and maybe... Just maybe, he might have survived. Or if only he hadn't been sick, the small hospital and the storm would never have been an issue. Or if only there had been no storm, and it had been safe for the helicopter to land… There were so many variables, Samar didn't even want to think about them. She wanted to move on... And the reality was, those variables affected the future too. If Shahin had lived, perhaps she never would have thrown herself into every assignment she could take in an effort to push past it all, perhaps she may never have joined the search for Reddington or found the taskforce at the Post Office... Perhaps, she never would have had Leila.

A single, rogue tear escaped Samar's eye and rolled down her cheek, splashing onto her knee as she reflected and that realisation hit home like a punch to the gut.  

She could never have had both.

Leila though, still quiet despite the stress around her, squirmed intermittently in Samar's arms, her little hands reaching out to bat at the piece of paper now hanging limply from Samar's fingers. Sammy, held by Liz only inches away, let out a little gurgle of her own at the sudden movement, breaking the silence. Samar gave a soft smile as she watched them both happily engrossed in their own little worlds, totally oblivious to what was happening around them. Liz began to chuckle as Sammy squealed with laughter at the apparent hilarity of reaching for and grasping her own kicking feet. Samar ran her fingers through the soft, mahogany baby fluff on Leila's head, determined to focus on the positives of what she had and continuing to move forwards, as Aram –brow momentarily furrowed- gently reached around to take the paper from Samar's hand, swapping it instead for the stuffed green and purple dinosaur sitting on the coffee table so that it wasn't crumpled any further. It was a painful memory, but one that deserved the respect of being carefully preserved nonetheless.  

Samar's smile widened a little further as Aram took the dinosaur, put on a silly voice, and began to wave it around in front of Leila and Sammy, making up an elaborate, but completely nonsensical story as he went in an attempt to lighten the mood before either child grew too restless. Both Samar and Liz laughed at the dinosaur's apparent ability to fly, and Leila's failed attempts to catch him –having not quite yet mastered the skill of holding on to something after grasping it. Samar could never have had both, it was true... But the more she reflected on her loss, the more she accepted the reality of it. Perhaps one day, she would tell Leila about her big brother but for now, after everything else that had happened, Samar was content just to watch her little girl play and giggle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up; colic, an ER, some more potentially controversial topics I've tried to handle thoughtfully but still realistically, a casual drop in from Reddington, and a follow up on that little Maxwell-is-still-alive problem... All of that, in 'Impatience'.


	39. Impatience

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> story timeline date; Thursday-Friday, 15-16 December, 2016.
> 
> As mentioned in the notes at the end of the last chapter, some potentially uncomfortable topics are touched upon in this chapter; racism and domestic violence. As I did with the chapter referring to depression, I have tried to approach both issues delicately and thoughtfully, while still presenting realistic challenges to the characters and keeping their handling of said challenges somewhat in character. And let me say straight up; neither racism nor domestic violence are ok. Both are very serious issues, and as someone who has a personal connection of sorts to one of those two, on the off chance anyone is offended by the chapter please know that once again, offense was far from my intention. Also once again, though I have tried to approach both topics thoughtfully, and they only feature in what is roughly the middle third of the entire chapter, if anyone has any issues with this chapter whatsoever and would prefer to skip it, you are absolutely more than welcome to do so. That said, everything from the last '/*/*/*/*' is set the following day and doesn't contain any of that content. That part is the only section that would detract ever so slightly from the story if the whole chapter if skipped, but with that jump it should be relatively easy to scroll to and find. What you do is entirely up to you. :)

Aram collapsed into the chair in the corner of Leila's room, burying his face in his hands in sheer desperation, all the while Samar paced across the room, trying to soothe her little girl's high-pitched screaming. Back and forth, and back and forth they had gone, both of them trying everything they could think of for nearly two hours. Not even driving the few laps around the block was helping this time. Leila just seemed to be all too determined to resist their attempts to settle her back into a regular sleeping routine since Samar's return.   
'Four _days_ ,' Aram grumbled wearily into his hands. 'Four days this week where she's been so happy and calm during the day, and then she unleashes this inner monster _right when we want to go to bed_.'  
'You've said that six times in the last ninety minutes,' Samar shot back, at as low a volume as she could, 'it's _really_ not helping.'  
'Sorry,' Aram sighed, his face crumpling in utter defeat, 'I'm just _so_ tired.' The expression on Samar's face softened as she let out a yawn. Tiredness was one thing Aram never did handle very well, she remembered that much from when the discomfort of her pregnancy had kept him awake during the night as well. It seemed to be the only time where he wasn't his usual, cheerful, patient self.   
'Me too,' she murmured. Samar took a few more paces across the room, gently bouncing Leila all the while until a small shot of pain twinged through her side. She had been able to hold Leila again now for a few days –finally- but only in short bursts, and she had to keep to supporting the weight only, not lifting it up –which was to say; she could carry Leila, but Aram was still the one who had to pick her up out of the crib. Samar grimaced at the pain, just as Aram lifted his head from his hands. He stood from the chair, reaching to take Leila just as Samar moved to hold her out for him. 'Here,' Samar said with a pained sigh, 'your turn.' Aram resumed the same pacing steps he had taken earlier, the very same movements Samar had been doing. She followed just behind him, absentmindedly rubbing that painful spot on her left side as she did so.  

Samar was slowly healing; in the ten days since arriving home the gash on her face, though still easily noticeable, was starting to shrink and Samar was glad to hear from her doctor during a follow up appointment that it probably wouldn't scar. Her bruising too, was beginning to fade away. Like the leaves on trees during the changing of the seasons, the bruises were one by one, changing in colour. Like her cuts, the bruising was still well and truly visible, but the purples had reduced to blues, which in turn had reduced to greens and then yellows... The smaller bruises more or less gone entirely now, and the bigger ones ever so slowly fading in size from the outside in towards the centre. Her left side was the worst –that had taken the most impact from the crash against the floor when her chair was first kicked over, but Samar was determined to push through it.  

She trailed behind Aram, singing along with all his wildly out of tune renditions of songs and nursery rhymes, but it was almost as if Leila wasn't even hearing them. Her face was contorted, her tiny brow disgruntledly furrowed. Her hands and fingers were tightly clenched into little fists, and her legs –with all their normally adorable baby rolls- were flailing around, alternating between kicking out and curling them up towards herself.   
'Surely this can't be normal,' lamented Aram, as Humpty Dumpty remained in pieces surrounded by all the King's horses and men.   
'Every baby gets colic-y at some point,' Samar said, with a shrug.   
'I know, I live here too,' Aram grumbled back, and Samar shot him a look. 'Sorry. Tired,' he relented. Either way, his point was valid. They were both far too familiar with Leila's apparent distaste for sleep during the night, and these were far from the only days they had struggled to settle her... But they _were_ much worse than usual, and that was what had Aram concerned. 'Isn't this getting beyond colic-y now, though?' He asked, a worried frown clear on his face as the two of them switched and Samar took Leila in her arms once again. 'What if there's something wrong?' They both quickly shifted their respective gazes to Leila's pink cheeks, and with a frown of her own Samar rested her palm on Leila's forehead.  
'She's flushed, but she doesn't feel any warmer than normal,' Samar observed. They were classic colic symptoms, simply more extreme than Leila's usual. But, Aram remained unconvinced.   
'Not every illness comes with a fever,' he remarked. Samar bit her lip warily, still watching Leila's flailing. She knew what Aram was wanting to do, but she was still on the fence as to whether it was really necessary.   
'She doesn't seem sick, just...' Samar trailed off for a moment, trying to find the right word; 'distressed.' Aram shifted anxiously on his feet, watching the both of them for a minute or two, and trying to weigh up the options.  
'Please?' He finally sighed. Samar glanced back at him, a look of doubt etched across her face.  
'Seriously?'  
'Four days, Samar. _Four days_. Last week it was only two. It's doubling... _Doubling_.' Aram was in irrational, exhausted, panic mode now, and Samar spoke up quickly to bring an end to the anxious tirade that had his voice both cracking and rising half an octave.   
'Maybe it's just increasing in twos, there aren't eight days in a week,' she hurriedly pointed out, trying to deflect, and Aram shot her a withering look. 'You know if we go to the Emergency Room, we're going to sit there for hours, right?'  
'We're going to be awake for at least another hour anyway,' Aram said, nodding adamantly. 'Better safe than sorry.' Samar shifted her gaze back to Leila still thrashing intermittently between wails, knowing it was true, and her shoulders reluctantly drooped in defeat.  
'Ok...'

/*/*/*/*

The first hour in the waiting room passed quickly enough; with the line for triage, explaining the situation to the staff in attendance, filling out paperwork, and then finally moving to the other side of the room to wait for further attention, the constant shuffling had at least felt like some form of progress. Despite his grumbling at the fact that _of course_ Leila fell asleep in the car just two minutes shy of the hospital, and then woke up again ten minutes after walking through the doors, Aram had taken the patient information forms from the staff quicker than Samar could blink, and filled them out entirely from memory without needing to ask Samar any questions whatsoever. For a brief moment, Samar had paused to glance back and forth to make sure they actually had the forms at all, not realising that Aram already had them covered. When she peeked over his shoulder, still otherwise rocking Leila again, she was pleasantly surprised to note just how much attention he paid... And just how clearly he seemed to have taken on that role as Leila's second parent.  

But now two and a half hours since arrival, and still impatiently waiting in that room, that quick flying first hour felt like a lifetime ago. The hour and a half since, had felt like it was passing slower than time itself.  

It didn't help that in that time, both Samar and Aram had noticed the staring. Samar shook it off at first, and Aram followed suit; it was impossible to hide away at home all day every day for however long it took her injuries to heal, and that gash on her face –and the bruising too- was equally impossible for everyone else to miss. But, Samar couldn't be bothered with paying the staring any attention, and though Aram wasn't comfortable with the staring, he didn't intend to speak up about it unless Samar did first. They were her injuries, and if she clearly wanted to let it go, then Aram didn't want to deny her that.  

The staring was one thing. However, what came next was the whispering, and the noticeably growing trend of incoming patients and visitors choosing any and every vacant seat in the room, except for the few next to Aram... No matter how comparably inconvenient the other seats may have been. The staff continued in their attempts to look discreet as they glanced over their notes at the both of them too, following in the failed footsteps of the triage nurse who had eyed Samar with the utmost sympathy, before throwing a filthy, suspicious look in Aram's direction. Samar had hoped the triage nurse would be the only one... And thankfully, Aram had been too busy filling out the paperwork to notice the look... But the longer they waited, the more people stared, and the more uncomfortable Samar and Aram began to feel.  

Sure, there was a reason Samar looked like she had been beaten... But it wasn't what the people in that room were thinking.  

Samar shifted in her seat, resting her head on Aram's shoulder. The hospital staff she understood –they at least, had a serious job to do, which included being wary of such scenarios, and taking appropriate steps to ensure patient safety. And really, the likelihood of anyone eyeing her injuries upon arrival at the Emergency Room and concluding before any other option that they obviously came from an FBI case gone wrong, was slim. But, their lack of discretion was frustrating, as were the assumptions of the other patients and visitors waiting around them for whom, Samar's appearance was none of their business. And most of all, it was seriously getting on Samar's nerves that anyone could possibly suspect Aram of all people, of being anything other than his kind, gentle, thoughtful self. Samar shifted a little more, finding the most comfortable position so that she could remain there with her head on his shoulder as long as possible. She wasn't normally quite so tactile in expressing her affections in public; normally, Samar preferred to be a little more discreet around strangers, while Aram was the one who would openly wrap his arms around her in front of anyone without a second thought. Samar had a carefully crafted persona of strength for public view, after having to hold her head high and battle through so many of life's worst obstacles without allowing anyone to see her crumbling on the inside. That wasn't to say she didn't care, or that she didn't express affection –simply that she did it differently, and reserved certain aspects of her softer side solely for the view of those she trusted to still take her seriously no matter what. However, given the circumstances... Appearing as standoffish only made the current situation even worse and so she rested there, eager for everyone to see that Aram was someone she was comfortable with. Aram meanwhile, still trying to settle the exhausted screaming from Leila that only added further to the staring, pressed a gentle, appreciative kiss to the top of Samar's head. He knew exactly what she was doing, and that it wasn't necessarily easy for her.   
'Hopefully with all the wailing, they'll call her in faster,' Aram whispered to her. Samar nodded against his shoulder, letting out another yawn. She didn't even want to know what ridiculous hour of the morning it was by now.   
'The faster they call her in, the faster we can go, and people can stop staring at us,' she impatiently muttered back. Aram shifted in his seat, resting Leila in one arm, and twisting slightly to put the other arm around Samar's shoulders and give her a gentle squeeze.  
'It's not that unusual,' he murmured. It was difficult for them to have a conversation in that huge, echoing waiting room, quiet enough for the people around them not to listen in, but Aram wanted to reassure her –and himself too- that it was ok, even when... It really wasn't. 'You know when I walk down the street by myself, a lot of people change paths to give me a wide berth as they go past.' Samar's head rose quicker from his shoulder than Aram had ever seen before, her face contorting into an angry frown.  
' _What?!'_  
'I'm a tall, hairy, Middle Eastern guy, walking alone in a city full of overly suspicious politicians and law enforcement,' he said, shrugging. 'It's horrible, but I'm not really surprised.'  
'That doesn't make it ok,' Samar grumbled, sighing to herself, 'that's really not ok...'  
'I know,' Aram murmured back, 'but I'm just saying, I can deal with staring.' Samar rested her head back on his shoulder, curling into his side as closer still as she could in those uncomfortable rows of plastic waiting room seats. Her knees leaned against his, and Aram gave her shoulder another small squeeze.  
'That doesn't happen so much when you walk with me,' she observed slowly, her brow furrowing in confusion. Aram rested his head atop hers, nodding gently.  
'Yeah, because you carry yourself with confidence, and look comfortable with me...' He explained, 'so I don't look quite so scary. It's the same if I take Leila with me to the store... I don't look scary if I'm talking in silly voices to her in her pram.' Samar scowled, frustrated by the way that such a phenomenon was normal enough that Aram was so used to it.   
'I always have to go through the special security screening line at airports,' she muttered bitterly, 'but I don't get quite that much grief on the streets.' Silence fell between them again, both of them sighing as yet another person walked straight past the empty chair beside Aram. Samar stretched out her hand, trying to calm Leila's flailing by gently grasping those tiny fingers and holding her steady, but it was no use.

'Leila Navabi?' Called out a young, administrative assistant at the other end of the room.  
'Finally,' Samar muttered under her breath. They rose from their seats, Aram still carrying Leila as they crossed the room. The young assistant glanced cautiously at her clipboard, and then hurriedly back to Aram.  
'I'm sorry,' she said quickly, 'it's family only in the ER. Unless she's admitted, you have to wait out here.' Samar did a double take, frustrated only further still.  
'But...' Aram began, 'I _am_ family.' The assistant glanced at her clipboard again, and then at Samar.  
'I only have one parent listed on the paper work; a Ms Samar Navabi.' The nurse curiously shifted her gaze back to Aram. 'What's your relation to the patient?' Aram and Samar swapped awkward glances; with the way they usually tried to keep things vague so as not to complicate situations, they didn't tend to use an actual title.  
'Uh...' Aram trailed off for a second, before quickly continuing; 'I'm her step-father.' Samar promptly nodded her agreement with the observation, but the assistant only looked at them _more_ suspiciously.  
'Are you two married?' She asked slowly.  
'Well, no-' Aram replied, until Samar cut him off.  
'-Surely he can be allowed in if _I_ say it's ok, right?' She interjected, the frustration rising in her voice. 'I'm ok with him being in the ER with Leila, so it should be fine.' The assistant shook her head.  
'I'm sorry,' she tried to explain, 'if you're not married, then technically he's not her step-parent, and it's against hospital policy to let in anyone who's not family.' Samar opened her mouth to argue back, but Aram simply shook his head. With a quiet, dejected sigh, he dotted a kiss to Leila's pink cheeks, and reluctantly handed her back to Samar.  
'It's fine,' he muttered, though it was clear from his voice that it really _wasn't_ fine, 'I'll just wait out here until you come back.' He stepped back, gesturing for Samar to go on through the doors into the treatment area without him. With a touch of hesitation, Samar went on through, leaving Aram still waiting in that room alone.

/*/*/*/*

Samar trailed behind the assistant, tiredly trying to blink away her exhaustion and ignore the bright hospital lights streaming obnoxiously into her eyes. The assistant led her into a treatment bay, closing the faded, green curtain halfway behind them.   
'I'm sorry about that,' the young assistant repeated again, but there was little trace of anything vaguely apologetic in her tone. Rather, as she flicked through the pages on her clipboard, she simply seemed sympathetic instead. 'I have to go through a couple of questions while we wait for the doctor to come in... Now, you said Leila was crying a lot?' She asked. Samar quickly nodded, and the assistant paused hesitantly as she eyed Samar up and down. 'I hate to ask this, but you have to understand... It's my job to be cautious... Is there any trouble at home?' Samar's eyes went wide and she hurriedly shook her head. In part, and considering all the staring, pointing, and whispering, she had anticipated being asked such a question eventually, but on the other hand she had _hoped_ she wouldn't be.   
'No!' Samar exclaimed, shaking her head again for added emphasis. 'Is that why you wouldn't let him in with us?' She gestured at the remaining marks from her capture, determined to make her point; 'these are _work_ injuries. I work for the FBI!' The assistant raised a suspicious eyebrow once again.  
'You don't look like an FBI agent...' She said nervously. That was quite possibly where Samar lost the last remaining trace of her patience. Being asked the question was one thing –it was important that hospital staff did their jobs thoroughly, and her injuries, to anyone who didn’t know the true story, certainly _would_ look suspicious- but the disbelief at her explanation, especially when said like that, was just rude.   
'What is an FBI agent _supposed_ to look like?' Samar gasped in utter exasperation. 'I'm in a sweater and jeans because it’s three in the morning and my baby wouldn't stop screaming. Did you _want_ me to burst in with all my weapons and wearing Kevlar?' The assistant, caught off guard by the exclamation, wordlessly shook her head in response as Samar continued; 'this is the same hospital where I was treated a few weeks ago. If you actually check your records, you'll see. I came through this same ER!'  
'Ok...' The assistant held up one hand in an attempt to calm the situation. 'I'll check. But in the meantime, do you have your badge on you?' Samar gaped at her in utter, impatient disbelief for a second, before rolling her eyes.  
'When you're rushing out into the cold with your sick baby, you don't stop to grab the FBI badge on your way out the door,' she said flatly. 'Now, can we actually sort out what's wrong with Leila? _She's_ the patient here, not _me_.'  
'Uhh... I'll go see if I can hurry the doctor along,' the assistant mumbled, finally giving up on giving Samar the grilling, and instead scrambling towards the opening in the curtain. Just as she took one step beyond the curtain, she hurriedly stopped before crashing into the very doctor she was racing to find. With a squeak, the assistant pushed the clipboard towards the doctor, and hurried away. Samar let out a sigh and shook her head as she glanced back down at Leila and went back to trying to settle her. Perhaps she had snapped a little too harshly... But she was exhausted, she was sick of being rudely interrogated _well_ after having alleviated the staff's fears, and most of all, _she just wanted to be sure her little girl was ok_...  

'Samar...' A familiar voice jolted Samar's attention back to the doctor standing by the curtain –the very doctor Samar had seen for the majority of her pregnancy until Doctor Stroud took over right at the last minute- and a sense of sheer relief washed over her as she realised who it was. This doctor at least, already understood what Samar did for a living, and knew Aram better than the staff outside.   
'Doctor Iverson...' A warm smile lit up the doctor's face, and she stepped further into the small treatment bay to take a closer look at Leila.  
'It's not often I have to wait so long to meet a little one after staring at so many scans of them,' she said, lip quirking up slightly, 'but better late than never, I guess.' Doctor Iverson quickly flicked through the clipboard thrust at her by the assistant, then turned to start giving Leila the once over; checking her temperature, heart rate, and a seemingly infinite number of other things. 'I hear you've had a bit of a rough time lately,' she observed quietly, not taking her eyes off Leila for a second, as she continued through the apparent checklist of things to test.   
'That's one way to describe it,' Samar sighed in response. Doctor Iverson shot her a soft smile, just as Leila's cries slowly began to ease to grizzling of a slightly lower volume.   
'Hmm...' Iverson listened to Leila's chest through her stethoscope, making small notes on the clipboard as she went. 'As you suspected, I think she's just colic-y, gassy and uncomfortable.' Samar furrowed her brow as she wrapped Leila back in her blanket and Iverson rested the stethoscope back around her shoulders.  
'Any reason why it would be so much worse than usual?'  
'Well,' Iverson began thoughtfully, 'for one, I imagine the stress levels at home have been a little higher lately,' with a touch of guilt, Samar's shoulders drooped slightly, 'but, how are you feeding her?'  
'I _was_ breastfeeding...' Samar trailed off sadly, 'then she had to switch to formula while I was away, and she's still on it now while I have to take the pain medication for my ribs...' Iverson nodded in sympathetic understanding.   
'Sometimes the sudden switch doesn't agree with them,' she explained, 'or sometimes it could just be the formula you use. They all have different levels of lactose, she may just need a formula with less.' Samar listened intently, that feeling of misery bubbling up again in her gut; it was almost like the hell inflicted by Maxwell was going to haunt her and her new, little family forever... 'When do you go off the medication?' Iverson added, after scribbling down a few more notes.  
'In a couple more days.' Iverson shot Samar another small smile, before gently tousling Leila's hair.  
'In that case... If you still can, I'd recommend you go back to breastfeeding for a while once the meds are out of your system, and just be careful... Reduce your caffeine intake, no alcohol, you know the drill. If not, try her on a different formula. Hopefully she should settle after that, but if she still doesn't in a few more days, bring her back.' Samar nodded, tired, frustrated and disgruntled at everything about the whole hospital experience, and feeling slightly guilty over the idea that Leila's apparent discomfort might be her fault... But otherwise glad at least, that now she could go pull Aram out of that waiting area, they could go home again, and Leila was going to be just fine.  

/*/*/*/*

The elevator doors rumbled open the next morning, and Samar and Aram both stepped into the war room looking absolutely defeated. They had at least managed to coax Leila to sleep after the drive home from the hospital, but they were still exhausted from the accumulative hours without sleep in the days beforehand.   
'Ah, Leila!' The familiar voice of Reddington greeted them as they each stopped at their respective desks, and the man in question bounded forwards to take Leila from Samar and cuddle her himself.   
'Don't be fooled by that angelic, sleeping smile. She looks cute now, but she has an alter ego who comes out at night and seems determined to test the human ability to go without sleep for days on end,' said Aram dramatically. Red raised an eyebrow at him, before dismissing the notion entirely and turning his attention back to Leila. Samar shot Liz –who was also there, apparently awaiting them after having already dropped off Sammy at the child care centre- a confused glance, wondering why on earth Reddington was in the war room so early when they all knew he loathed being there and normally preferred to meet Liz at outside locations. Liz simply shrugged in response; she didn't yet know what Red was there for either, and Samar couldn't be bothered pressing the issue any further. She brushed past Ressler, who was still snickering at Aram's tired dramatics, to drop her bag under her desk.  
'Don't laugh, you're not helping,' she muttered darkly.  
'Why? How is any of this possibly _my_ fault?' Ressler exclaimed, glancing at her incredulously.  
'Ahh Donald, you have so much to learn,' Reddington chirped. He smirked as he glanced back at Leila and murmured just loud enough to her for the few of them around him to hear; 'all undesirable quirks come from the other person's genetics... I remember it vividly.' Ressler grumbled something mostly unintelligible in response, but sounded vaguely like 'so not fair'.  
'You said it yourself, not sleeping as a baby was a Ressler thing,' Aram grumbled. Of course, they knew Leila was colic-y, but if it had already been proven that Leila's generally bad sleeping patterns came from Ressler, it was certainly a factor that wouldn't help either.   
'Is it _really_ that bad?' Ressler asked, unconvinced. That was the wrong question; anyone looking at the double layers of dark rings around both Samar and Aram's eyes could have figured out that much.  
'Want to take her home for the weekend and find out?' Samar suggested drily, with one wry eyebrow raised. Liz tried desperately to hold in a laugh, as Ressler studied the exhausted looks on both their faces, then hurriedly ceased his snickering.   
'Actually you know what, I think I believe you,' he said quickly.  

'Well, now that's sorted,' observed Reddington, still quite happily holding Leila in his arms, 'Samar my dear, I have something for little miss Leila.' Samar raised an eyebrow again, this time warily as she shared another brief glance with Liz. Reddington quite frequently left gifts with Liz for little Sammy, but not quite so much for Leila. Nonetheless, Reddington ignored their silent communication, and continued; 'and for Samantha too, Lizzie,' he paused for a split second to smile warmly at Liz, 'I happened to stop by Munich over the last weekend, just to check on a few business dealings, and I found the most _exquisite_ wood carvings at the Christmas markets. They're always stunning, there's just something about the snowflakes that twinkle in the light as they fall softly to the ground, the delicious smells of mulled wine and fresh bratwurst grilled right there on the street, and the aisles and aisles of quaint stalls selling all kinds of traditional gifts... But this year, oh my...' Liz let out a smirk as Reddington trailed off, closing his eyes for a moment, seemingly trying to relive the memory. Of course, a man with a private jet, infinite cash, and apparently no need for passports could simply 'stop by' an entirely different city in an entirely different country for a day. Reddington opened his eyes again, turning to dig through a bag held by Dembe, with his free hand. 'This year, they've really stepped it up,' he sighed happily. From the bag, Reddington pulled out two wooden mobiles –the very kind typically hung over cribs- with dangling pieces shaped like birds, flowers and butterflies, every one of them finely hand carved and hand painted with colourful swirls and tiny dots. 'I found these while I wandered amongst all the stalls, and I just could _not_ resist. Look at those little birds, aren't they sweet?' He seemed all too pleased with himself as he handed the pink and yellow themed one to Liz, and the purple and green themed one to Samar –both of them momentarily stunned as to how he seemed to know the appropriate colour themes- then gently gave Leila one last cuddle before handing her in turn, to Aram. 'Hopefully that'll be a nice distraction for her when she can't sleep, and then maybe you'll get some rest,' Reddington added, his gaze now directed at Samar once more. He paused, almost as if suddenly remembering something, and took a card from his jacket pocket, handing it to Samar. 'And here, take this. That's the number for a _wonderful_ doctor I know, who does home visits, even in the middle of the night... For the next time you don't want to go back to the ER. Anyway, in the meantime I have a few things to discuss with Harold... A little issue I have with Mossad at the moment needs sorting out. They really don't seem to understand how to be loyal to their own people,' he nodded in Samar's direction again, before scowling to himself. 'And I need to talk to him about Maxwell...' Red trailed off, now mostly talking to himself than any of the rest of them, and he moved to brush past them all... Until Samar suddenly stopped him.  
' _What_ about Maxwell?' She asked sharply. Reddington paused before answering.  
'Well... It _appears_ he escaped custody last night,' he explained, not at all worried and gently patting Samar's arm in an effort to quash the worry she was now feeling. 'Director Cooper is about to launch an investigation into how Maxwell's associates could possibly have broken him out, but he needn't fret... I know exactly who took him, and where he is now.' With one final, emphatic nod, Reddington pushed past them again, Dembe quick on his heels. 'Don't argue with them, Donald,' he called out, as he marched up the stairs towards Cooper's office, 'if you think hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, don't even try to test the patience of an exhausted parent with a screaming baby.'

'Was he suggesting, what I think he was suggesting...?' Aram asked, slightly bewildered as Red disappeared from view.   
'You mean, was Reddington suggesting that he set up the whole thing to make it look like Maxwell's associates broke him out, when in actuality it was his guys who then killed Maxwell and probably left him in a ditch somewhere?' Ressler asked flatly, and Aram promptly nodded, 'yep, I'd say that's what he was suggesting.' Samar bit her lip, absentmindedly toying with the beautiful, wooden mobile still dangling from her hands.  
'Why would he do that?' She asked quietly. Having Maxwell killed, and then taking issue with Mossad for refusing to help find her, certainly made her feel better, but it also seemed a lot more than what Reddington would normally do for her. Liz shot her a small, sad smile, before echoing what had often been swirling around in her mind lately;  
'Because he’s angry… It could have just as easily been me, instead of you.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh yes, Maxwell is finally gone from everything besides Samar's memory. And yes, Reddington made a brief appearance, as requested a while back.
> 
> Next up, Reddington makes another sort-of appearance (emphasis on 'sort-of', you'll see what I mean when you read it) in the much promised Christmas chapter; 'Holidays'.


	40. Holidays

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Saturday-Sunday, December 24-25, 2016.
> 
> Also, just a casual shout out to the folks over on tumblr who helped me out when I asked to know where Ressler was from! Thank, guys!

_'Ahh, Mr and Mrs Mojtabai, hello!' Reddington exclaimed, strolling oh-so-casually towards the white picket fence that bordered the old Delaware house, Dembe as per usual at his heels. Naveed quickly rose from his position crouched down on the grass, carefully trimming the rosebushes, with Mehri right behind him._  
_'I know who you are, I watch the news,' he growled suspiciously, instinctively taking one protective step further in front of his wife, 'what do you want?' Red's lip twitched in amusement, and he raised his hands in a gesture of peace.  
'Nothing quite so frightening, the news has an unfortunate habit of exaggerating my exploits, I'm afraid...' Red let out a short sigh, 'actually, I work with your son, and Samar and Elizabeth too. It's all a very complex arrangement, but that's why Aram probably keeps telling you that he can't tell you about his job... Typical Bureau red tape, it's all _ classified _.' Mehri and Naveed swapped uneasy glances as Red uttered that final word with particular distaste, but otherwise ignored them in favour of continuing with his monologue; 'now, if you_ do _watch the news, I'm sure you would have noted that unfortunate phase of Elizabeth's life where she was a fugitive, on the run with me, in fact. So you see, I'm not here to cause any trouble. Rather, I have a proposition for you,' Red gestured towards the front door of the house, quizzically tilting his head; 'shall we?'_

_Mehri and Naveed re-entered the house, Red and Dembe right behind them –Red gazing cheerfully all around the interior as he flipped his hat in his hands. Marching straight into the living room, he took a seat on the couch. Naveed and Mehri by contrast, remained standing.  
'My situation with Elizabeth and the FBI is all _ so _complicated, but long story short; I have a vested interest in her happiness, and safety too,' Red stated, quite bluntly in fact. 'But it has come to my attention that you too, seem to have taken an interest in looking out for her, in ways that I myself, can't always manage. She appreciates it dearly-' Mehri in particular, let out a soft smile at_ that _observation '-and as such, I appreciate it too.' Red paused for a moment, finally earning himself a silent, albeit polite nod from Naveed. 'It's my understanding that you've asked her to join Aram and Samar in visiting for the holidays next week, and I'd like to extend a gesture of my own appreciation...' He paused again, studying Mehri's crossed arms and the expression on her face; contrary to Naveed, she wasn't afraid of him in the slightest –which was, on its own, something that took Red by pleasant surprise. If anything, she still bore that expression of a mother listening to a misbehaving child trying to explain him or herself, before being promptly told off. There were few people who looked at Reddington like that, and fewer still who got away with it. Lip quirking up again at the familiar pang in his gut that usually accompanied moments where he received that look from someone else, Reddington tilted his head quizzically once more, and briefly changed his train of conversation. 'Mrs Mojtabai... You don't by any chance know a Kate Kaplan, do you?' Mehri hurriedly shook her head, confused, and Red broke into a wide smile. 'I'll have to introduce you, I think you'd get along splendidly!'_

/*/*/*/*

'Remind me again, why we're at the airfield?' Aram asked nervously, stepping out of the stretch town car behind Liz, Samar, and his parents. The car had been there waiting for them when he, Liz and Samar arrived at his parents' house earlier that Christmas Eve morning, and all they had said was that there was a surprise change of plan. Besides that, his parents' lips remained sealed, and the other three had transferred their bags from one car to the next, totally clueless, as they moved on to whatever their surprise destination was supposed to be.

The airfield wasn't what anyone was expecting.

Liz stood to one side of him, her arms crossed and a small, confused frown working its way across her face.  
'I'm not sure,' she murmured, gazing at the plane slowly taxiing down the runway towards them for boarding, 'but that looks like Reddington's jet.' Samar stood to Aram's other side, the wind across the airstrip rippling through her pony tail as she tried to juggle both Leila and one of her bags. Aram took her other one, and Liz's too –given that he wasn't the one balancing a wriggling infant as well- and the three of them trailed along curiously behind his parents, who clearly knew exactly what was happening.   
'Am I the only one wondering _why_ your parents seem so confident walking towards Raymond Reddington's jet?' Samar muttered to him. Aram shook his head; he too, was _slightly_ alarmed by the idea but he figured at least, that no matter what was going on, if his parents knew what was happening and had no issue with it, then surely... It couldn't be too bad.  

He only hoped that this wasn't some twisted kind of set up.

/*/*/*/*

Some two and a half hours later, another town car that had picked them up from the airstrip at the other end of their flight, pulled into the long driveway of a huge, semi-secluded, almost manor-esque house, surrounded by a lush, who-knows-how-many acres of land grove of sorts, surrounded by a thick border of tall pines and aspens. As it turned out, it had indeed been Reddington's jet... And it had flown them all to Maine –not that they knew that before they landed. None of them were entirely comfortable with being mysteriously flown to some surprise destination for what was so far, a still unknown reason. Liz at least, was _somewhat_ used to Red's impromptu traveling after various cases and of course, having been on the run travelling all over with him for months, but Samar on the other hand, definitely liked to know where she was going. She didn't like to feel like she had no control over her own situation, or way of moving about independently if need be... And Aram, well... He was somewhere in the middle. One by one, they all piled out of the car, staring up at the house in front of them with its light grey timber cladding on the walls, and the fresh layer of snow dusted over the slate roof and dormer windows. The house itself was aged and a little worn around the edges, but Liz in particular had no doubt that no matter how inconspicuous and homely it seemed on the outside, the house would surely be nonetheless extravagant and incredibly well maintained in equal parts, on the inside.  

Keys in hand, Mehri and Naveed lead the way along the winding, cobblestone path from the driveway around to the front of the house, unlocked it, and walked straight in. Aram shared uneasy glances with Liz and Samar, Liz shrugging in a 'well, what else are we going to do?' gesture, before following his parents inside. They stood just inside the entry hallway, wide smiles on both their faces –well, as wide a smile as the generally more stoic Naveed could muster, anyway.    
'Ok, now can we know what's going on?' Aram asked, with a hint of exasperation. He had lost count of the number of times any of them had asked his parents that question over the course of the last couple of hours, his parents mischievously shaking their heads each time... Until now.  
'Well...' Mehri began, bouncing lightly on the balls of her feet. 'Your friend Reddington paid us a visit-' the trio swapped even more wary glances at that descriptor, Aram in particular even more concerned about the idea of Reddington having tracked down his parents' home- 'and he thought it might be nice for all of us to spend the holidays somewhere different for a change, where we can all be in the same place but not too crowded either... So he offered his house!'

There was a brief pause, the comparatively younger three adults all contemplating that idea... And Reddington's usual catch in every offer.

'That's it?' Aram eventually asked. He had been waiting for some kind of follow up; an 'if' or a 'but' or anything else that would help it all make sense. Both his parents shot him unimpressed looks.  
'Well, how often do you normally get to travel on private jets to beautiful holiday properties, as a Christmas gift?' Mehri replied, with a flash of indignation, 'I thought it was a big deal.'  
'No, I don't get it either,' Samar added, earning herself an appreciative nod from Aram, 'why us? I mean, Liz I understand...' Samar trailed off suddenly, glancing awkwardly at Liz. What she had meant to suggest was that Reddington offering to send Liz and Sammy on a holiday would make sense, given his still-as-yet-undisclosed connection to her... But he had no such connection to the rest of them. Liz however, seemed to take no offence. In fact, she nodded, understanding Samar's logic perfectly, and finding it just as curious.   
'And since when do we get to run loose around one of his properties without him, or Dembe, or someone else supervising?' Liz piped up, emphasising her agreement with their shared suspicions.   
'Reddington didn't by any chance mention if he was stopping by later, did he?' Aram's nervous voice in turn, echoed through the hallway once more. Naveed rolled his eyes, and Mehri let out an exasperated sigh before adding in a particularly matter of fact tone;  
'He said we'll have this place all to ourselves until just after New Year's.'  

Aram shifted uneasily on the spot. Liz narrowed her eyes skeptically. Samar furrowed her brow, deep in thought for a moment. None of them had breathed a word of the taskforce's operations to Aram's parents before. They simply weren't allowed to do so. Whatever they knew now, was limited to whatever Reddington had chosen to tell them... And clearly, that was the absolute bare minimum of truth and of course, with a touch of trademark Reddington embellishment. Aram's parents didn't know the way Reddington worked with them, just that he _did_ work with them. They didn't understand his apparent 'I scratch your back, you scratch mine' style... But the other three did. From Mehri and Naveed's standpoint, an offer to stay in a friend's holiday home was a completely normal and not at all worrisome concept... Whereas Liz, Samar, and Aram all knew better. And, for Samar at least, there was a slight flaw in the plan.   
'Uh, I have that appointment on New Year's Eve...' She murmured to Aram, not that everyone else in the small entry hall couldn't hear her. It was yet another of her regular, follow up appointments since her discharge from hospital, meant to keep an eye on her now only _mostly_ healed injuries. Mehri smiled softly.   
'Oh, Reddington said he had that covered,' she said, nodding sagely. 'He'll send the jet to take you there and back that day, it's only a short flight.' Samar raised an eyebrow, more than mildly perturbed by the fact that Reddington knew enough about her appointment details to be able to have such a thing covered... But then again, perhaps the fact that Reddington knew such details was part of what had convinced Aram's parents that he was in fact a 'friend', and a genuinely well-meaning one at that. Liz shot Samar a wary glance, and Aram frowned, both equally in awe and startled by that revelation. Mehri shook her head, rolling her eyes. 'Honestly, you three... Your jobs have made you all _so_ suspicious.'  
'You don't know Reddington,' Liz muttered under her breath. Samar and Aram both instantly nodded their agreement, and all three were almost glad in fact, that both Mehri and Naveed were oblivious to the concerns that would undoubtedly trouble the rest of them for the next week.   
'Well, we're here now, so let's just enjoy it, shall we?' Mehri sighed, almost amused by their antics. 'Nothing's off limits, apparently.' And with that, she turned on her heels and strolled through the archway into the kitchen –her husband right behind her- immediately ooh-ing and ahh-ing over the sweet breakfast nook with its cushioned window seating, and all the marble counter space.  

At least, her final argument was one the others couldn't match, no matter how disbelieving they were.  

And so off they went, each picking a different door or stretch of hallway, utterly curious to explore the mysterious, but beautiful house.  

/*/*/*/*

'Oh my god, I am never moving _again_ ,' Liz's voice, and its total euphoria, sailed through the air down the hall. Lip quirked up, Samar ducked down the hall from the second storey living area she had just been staring bewildered at, and peeked her head around the door to the bedroom Liz had just found. In the six bedroom property, it wasn't the first any of them had found, but it _was_ the first where Liz had actually bothered to relax onto the bed and test it out of sheer curiosity. Each bedroom, though fitted with the same basic furniture, was decorated beautifully, and themed with a different colour scheme or pattern. The kids' room by contrast, that had clearly been renovated more recently when Reddington had planned the surprise trip for them if the decorating was anything to go by, had more neutral cream walls, but each of the two cribs was decked out with different coloured blankets... Naturally, one with purple, and one with pink. And the curtains, in a sweet combination of the two, were cream like the walls but with a spattering of multicoloured stars along the bottom.

Whoever Reddington's interior designer of choice was, they had done a very thorough job.  

Samar smirked at the sight before her; there Liz was, sprawled across the mammoth sized thing and its thick, marshmallow soft, blue and silver swirled comforter, gazing up at the ceiling, little Sammy still tucked against the arm that rested more towards the centre of the bed.     
'Comfortable?' Samar chuckled. Liz nodded, still staring in a daze at the ceiling.  
'Uh huh... Very.'   
'That has to be king size, it's ridiculous.'  
'They’re the same in every room,' Liz mused, 'you won't find it so ridiculous when you pick one.' One eyebrow raised in amusement, Samar strolled around to the other side of the bed, set Leila down in the centre next to Sammy, then sat gingerly on the edge of the unoccupied side. Within a second of realising just how comfortable it really was, Samar swung her legs around and promptly laid back, eventually exhaling in utter contentment.  
'Ok,' she sighed, 'you may have a point.'  

It took all of two minutes before Aram too, poked his head around the doorway, looking for them. He did a double take as he took in the sight of both of them sprawled across opposite sides with their eyes closed, and ridiculous grins across their faces. Desperately trying to hold back a smirk, he took the few more necessary steps to reach the end of the bed.  
'Uhh, I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel about this...' He couldn't help but let out the chuckle he was struggling to keep in, and Samar rolled her eyes. 'Do you two need a minute? Because Mom just found the main living room downstairs and apparently everyone has to see it five minutes ago...'   
'We're not moving,' Liz sighed happily again, 'go away.' Aram bit his lip to try and stop himself from laughing again.  
'So... Are we _not_ worried about Reddington anymore?' Liz opened her eyes again, turning her head slightly to eyeball Samar in mock exasperation, both of them completely ignoring Aram's teasing questions.  
'Samar?' Liz mumbled.  
'Mmhmm?' Samar hummed back. She opened one eye to see what Liz was doing, just out of Aram's view; discreetly grasping the edge of one of the numerous spare pillows. She knew exactly what Liz was planning, and after finally being told that she was allowed to start moving her arms around properly again so long as she didn't lift anything too heavy, Samar's eyes twinkled with mischievous glee.   
'Three...' Liz began, and Aram's face crumpled in alarm.  
'Wait, what-'  
'-Two,' Samar cut him off.  
'One... _Now!'_ Liz cried, both of them suddenly launching the spare pillows high through the air and watching them smack squarely against the raised, defensive arms of their target.    
'Ahh!' Aram yelled, ducking for cover, 'don't throw pillows at the messenger!' He waited a few seconds, until satisfied that he wasn't about to be assaulted by any more flying objects –no matter how ridiculously soft they were- and then slowly rose from his hiding position on the floor just beyond the end of the bed... Only to be smacked with a second wave of pillows the second he turned to look in their direction.

Clearly, Liz and Samar were braced, and waiting.  

'You two are just messing with me now, right?' Aram grumbled in mock exasperation. Liz grinned, and Samar nodded, as they exchanged a not so subtle high five. But, Aram noted... They were now running low on ammunition. He took that as a sign to quickly make his escape, before they came up with any more wild ideas. 'Ok, so... You guys can just stay here, then,' Aram tried to keep a straight face as he reached forwards in an attempt to scoop up both Leila _and_ Sammy, 'and uh, I'll just take these two and leave you to it. Don't say I didn't warn you when Mom comes looking for you.' With one happily gurgling munchkin in each arm, Aram quickly scurried out of the room, leaving them both snorting with laughter.  

/*/*/*/*

It was another ten minutes or so, before either Samar or Liz relented, clambered off the bed, and slowly trudged downstairs once more. It was another two after that, before they managed to find the curious, other living area. It was a huge room, with polished wood flooring, an old fashioned brick fireplace, and a luxurious eight-seater couch shaped in a wide horseshoe for full family viewing of the widescreen television hung from the wall directly opposite the one lined with overflowing bookshelves. It was warm, open, and comfortable and yet, still with Reddington's stunning, impeccable taste.  

But what really captured everyone's eye was the attention to detail.

Proudly front and centre of the mantel, sat an intricately hand-crafted, silver menorah. At the other end of the room, and next to the biggest window, was a Christmas tree decked out in layers of twinkly lights, and differently textured baubles all in red, green, and silver. A pile of gifts sat ready and waiting underneath, undoubtedly left there for them by Reddington or one of his employees on his behalf, and only added to by the various stacks that Liz, Samar, Aram, and his parents, had all brought along with them for each other.   
'This is unbelievable,' Liz murmured under her breath in complete awe as she stood in the centre of the room and panned her glance all the way around.   
'You all _have_ had a rough year,' Mehri smiled softly as she came to a stop just beside Liz, still in awe herself. 'He wanted to do something nice for you, for Samar, and for all of us... For looking out for each other.' Liz's gaze dropped thoughtfully to those dark wood floorboards, finally understanding. Reddington was grateful to them for supporting her when she wouldn't always allow him to do the same... Especially after he had shot down all her attempts earlier in the year to figure out what had happened to Tom. For a second, Liz wondered if Reddington felt guilty. The only reason she was looking for Tom now was for closure, nothing more. And yet, Reddington had stopped at nothing to delay her even discovering what had happened to him. But that thought only lasted the second as it flashed through her mind and then quickly away again; much like Samar, Liz was adamant in her desire to keep moving forward now. Liz exchanged delighted glances with Samar and Aram across the room, before her shoulders dropped sheepishly.  
'Should we have invited Ressler along, too?' She asked quietly. Aram paused thoughtfully for a moment, before slowly shaking his head. It was originally supposed to be a mere family affair, that had accidentally spiralled a little lavishly out of control. Nonetheless, Samar absentmindedly spoke up before Aram could even shake his head more than twice;  
'No, he said he was off to visit his mom in Michigan. He missed her on Thanksgiving, apparently...' Aram and Liz exchanged curious glances as Samar trailed off. Samar looked up as their momentary silence hung in the air and rolled her eyes at their amused expressions. 'What? He mentioned it when he asked what we were doing with Leila for the holidays...' Liz nodded in understanding, before allowing her gaze to make the round of the room once more; perhaps Reddington really was just trying to give them all a nice Christmas -or in Mehri’s case; Hanukkah- after all.  

/*/*/*/*

With dinner and Mehri's lighting of the first Hanukkah candles complete, and with no intrusion from Reddington throughout the course of the evening either, the entire household slowly trudged one by one off to bed. Liz and Aram, for obvious reasons, had been banned from the kitchen while Samar delighted in helping Mehri and Naveed prepare what none of them were willing to argue was far too big a feast for just the five of them on Christmas Eve. They instead were relegated the tasks of setting the table, and washing all the dishes afterwards. The kitchen had eventually cleared, the lights had eventually dimmed, and they had all curled up in various places with books, laptops –or in Mehri's case, more knitting- around the larger living room before going to bed.  

Samar stretched out across as much of the bed as she could reach, a grin on her face that ran nearly the full width from ear to ear, as Aram turned down the covers on his side, ready to collapse beside her.   
'Oh my god...' Aram groaned as he rested his head back, 'I deserved those pillows thrown at me. I am definitely never moving again...'  
'So, you're going to stay in here tomorrow, while the rest of us do...' Samar trailed off as she rolled over to face him, suddenly curious; 'wait, what are we doing tomorrow?' Aram furrowed his brow thoughtfully; Samar had a point. With the impromptu flight to Maine instead of staying in Delaware, many of their plans for the week away from home were dashed.   
'Besides trying to get through that mountain Mr Reddington left for Leila and Sammy under the tree? Well... If it snows overnight again, we could probably still take them outside and build a miniature snowman.'   
'You realise that means you'll have to get up off the bed at some point, right?' Samar smirked at him, and Aram sighed dejectedly; there was no way he was going to miss out on building that snowman. With a sigh of mock-defeat, he wound his arms around Samar and closed his eyes, ready to sleep.  
'Fine,' he whined quietly, 'but in the meantime, I still don't have to move for a few more _hours_ at least.'  
'Unless Leila wakes us up,' Samar teasingly whispered back.  
'Don't jinx it,' Aram grumbled, 'she's slept well again the last couple of nights, I'm hoping this is the start of a new trend.' Samar shook her head disbelievingly as she too, closed her eyes and settled comfortably against the pillow.  
'I'll believe it when I see it,' she sighed.

/*/*/*/*

'Oomph!' A snowball hit Aram square in the shoulder. Liz and Samar had followed him outside, across the deck and out to the wide expanse of grass that was now covered in a thick layer of snow, to determine its suitability for snowman-building purposes... And Liz, just a few paces behind the both of them, had rolled a firm ball of snow in her gloved hands and launched it just as effectively as the pillows thrown the day before. It sailed just past Samar's ear before striking its target, making Aram turn on the spot in mock-horror. He locked eyes with Liz, momentarily debating with himself whether or not to throw one back...

...And then he did.  

And then all of a sudden there was a flurry of snowballs flying back and forth, Aram and Liz now locked in fierce battle, ducking and jumping, and weaving strategically across the snow on the ground. Samar ducked for cover, caught in the middle, and not the apparent snowball fight strategist that both Aram and Liz seemed to be after having grown up with the concept. Mehri, who _had_ instead chosen to stay inside in the warm with Naveed and the two little ones, still enjoying the hilarity that was watching them roll around in the wrapping paper after getting through the mountain under the Christmas tree, suddenly poked her head around the sliding door, curious to discover what all the sudden yelling outside was about.

She did so, just in time to witness one of Aram's snowballs miss its designated target, and instead smack Samar –still caught in the middle- on the side of the head.  

Aram froze, studying Samar's face for some kind of reaction, but instead she maintained a deliberately neutral expression. The fierce flying of snowballs halted too, as they waited. Ever so slowly, she crouched down to pick up her own handful of snow, while Aram braced for inevitable impact, and Liz failed to hold back a smirk. But then, in a flash before anyone realised what was happening, Samar quickly rose from the ground, sending her ball of snow flying through the air as she did so...

But she didn't hurl it at Aram... Samar sent it in Liz's direction instead.

Samar sprinted around them, or at least, as well as she could across the snow, ducking only to pick up another handful as she moved. Aram's face contorted into a twisted mix of shock and delight as she realised what was happening all of a nanosecond later, and Liz squealed, not ducking fast enough before the icy projectile struck her shoulder. By that point, Samar had already launched her second offensive, this time at Aram while he was still distracted by laughing at Liz. Mehri shook her head in amused disbelief at their antics, now standing on the deck just a few feet away from them, as her three apparently overgrown 'children' continued in their all-out, frozen warfare. It was two against one, Aram and Liz having now joined forces against Samar in the wake of her surprise strike, and snow was flying back and forth through the air in a rapid-fire frenzy, splattering against all of them. It clung to their hair –Samar's in particular seeing as unlike Liz, she hadn't bothered to tie it back yet that morning and so instead it flew around wildly as she ran, catching the snowdusty impact of every ball that hit her- and their layers of outerwear too. Mehri sighed, wondering in amusement just how long it would take them all to realise that if they kept going, and one of them fell over, they might just end up soaked through. She took two more steps forward off the edge of the deck, just to take in the ridiculous spectacle as it slowly wound its way around the side of the house while they chased each other...

...Then, just as Mehri took one more step forward, she too, wound up caught in the crossfire.

Two snowballs, each launched by Liz in an attempt at a two-handed strike that Samar couldn't duck away from so easily, pelted Mehri one after the other. Now it was the time for all three to freeze, exchanging awkward, almost terrified glances, as they waited for some kind of response. Liz averted her gaze, horrified by having just thrown two snowballs at a friend's seventy-something year old mother. Mehri maintained a neutral expression, just as Samar had earlier, before striding purposefully across the snow towards the woman in question. Samar raised an intrigued eyebrow, and Mehri stopped beside her and nudged her arm.  
'Samar, my dear?' She began, ever so innocently. Samar tilted her head, tentatively grinning and waiting for the follow up statement; 'I'd say two against one isn't exactly fair, wouldn't you?' Samar's grin only widened as Mehri reached down for her own handful of snow, and Aram and Liz's faces crumpled in defeat. Their tactical advantage was gone.  

Needless to say, the warfare promptly continued, the two teams now far more evenly matched. Eventually, Naveed poked his head around the sliding door, just as Mehri had done earlier, wondering why his wife hadn't returned after stating that she would be 'back in second, sweetheart,' and sighed in mock-exasperation at the sight in front of him. With one tiny, quilted-snowsuit-style, winter onesie-clad little one in each arm –Sammy in pink, and Leila in green, and both of them in matching hats hand-knitted by Mehri herself- Naveed stepped off the deck, and sat himself down on the edge, tucked right around the corner so he had a full view without being in the strike zone, and promptly began to build a small snow fort around the three of them.

Better to play it safe rather than sorry, when it came to shielding the kids from the snowball pelting of their parents.  

The rest of them were so engrossed in their team strategies and rapid firing of snowballs, it took a few minutes before any of them even realised Naveed and the kids were there, rather than still inside. They all paused curiously for a second to stare at him quite contentedly introducing the kids to their tiny pile of snow, and slowly building his little fort around them. Naveed smirked, giving them all a lazy wave of greeting, and gesturing for them to continue with their escapades. Aram paused one second longer than the rest, eyeballing his father with a touch of suspicion.    
'You know, Dad... I remember you being able to build forts a lot faster than that when I was little,' Aram called across the yard. Naveed rolled his eyes.  
'That was thirty years ago,' he scoffed, as matter of fact and totally innocent as he could muster, 'and I only had one of you to watch over at the same time, not two. Of course this is going to be slower now.' Aram watched Naveed mutter something to himself and the two kids, before shaking off the suspicion and returning to the task at hand; diving in front of Liz before she was absolutely bombarded by double snowball throws from both Mehri and Samar at the same time.

Back at the edge of the deck, Naveed chuckled mischievously to himself as he picked up a snowball from the small arsenal he was preparing behind his half-built fort at the same time.  
'Now this,' he murmured conspiratorially to the two little ones, 'is what we throw at them if they try to come past us and go back inside without taking off their dripping coats first, ok?'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up; 'Finally'
> 
> Also note; with that one comes a smut warning. You know the drill; if it's not your cup of tea, by all means skip ahead! :)


	41. Finally

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Saturday, December 31, 2016.
> 
> Apologies for the delay, folks! I've been crazy busy, and then I went away for a few days minus internet access. But I figured now that I'm back, I'd better try to catch up a little if I can. In other news, happy 4th of July to my American pals! 
> 
> Warning once again; second half contains mild smut.

Another week gone, the week at Reddington's Maine house was nearly over. Not once had he stopped by; besides briefly calling Liz later in the afternoon on Christmas day once the snowball fight was over, to ask if everyone was comfortable and to wish them all a happy holidays, they had barely heard from him at all.  

The snowball fights had become a series, various snowmen and forts had been built in between, thus creating a brilliant array of obstacles and defensive bases for subsequent battles... Sammy had a beautiful new collection of blankets from Mehri, and Leila had a couple more to add to her first two. Naveed had fallen into a routine of dozing off on the couch after lunch every day without fail, usually whilst alongside one of the others watching Sammy and Leila fall asleep one on top of the other during their supervised time wriggling around on their blankets on the floor. Aram _finally_ mastered how to make a pancake without burning it -though Samar remained uncertain whether or not that was a lucky fluke or simply because she had hovered next to him in attempt to teach. Liz managed a more than passably delicious spaghetti... But she still couldn't quite get her head around waffles. All in all, they managed to keep themselves well entertained and relaxed each day. Now it was New Year's Eve, and they only had a day and a half left before Reddington's jet came back to fly them all home again the day after next.  

Samar stepped out of the town car that had picked her up from the airstrip after flying back from her recovery check up appointment earlier in the day, and hurried along that winding, cobblestone path from the driveway to the front door of the house. Darkness had fallen during the drive back, and she was curious to know what everyone else had been up to in the couple of hours she was gone. She closed the front door behind her, wandering into the kitchen to find Mehri and Naveed just about ready to serve dinner. Samar grinned as she quickly reached forward to help Naveed with the plates; the timing was perfect. Liz stepped into the kitchen behind her all of two seconds later, having just run downstairs to help after putting Sammy to bed, and let out a soft smile as she noted Samar's return.    
'All good?' She asked, gently nudging Samar with her elbow. Samar nodded, as Liz too, took another two plates to the dinner table from the counter. Her appointment had indeed gone well; now Samar was allowed to resume the full range of movement, so long as she used her common sense.   
'Is Aram still upstairs?' Liz nodded back in response to the question, and after checking that everything required was on the table, Samar quickly ducked back upstairs. She poked her head around the doorway to the room shared by Leila and Sammy, just as Aram finally set Leila down in her crib, fast asleep.   
'Hey,' she whispered, so as not to wake either one. Aram glanced up and grinned at her small wave.   
'Hey back,' he murmured. Samar took the two steps into the room to quickly peek over the edge of the crib at Leila and smile, before they quietly tiptoed out of the room and back towards the stairs. The delicious cooking smells from the kitchen wafted through the air and up the stairs to meet them. 'Mmm,' Aram hummed to himself, 'dinner smells good.'  
'It _looks_ good, too,' Samar chuckled, 'I saw it when I came in.'

/*/*/*/*

A loud bang, not quite the sound of gunshots but worthy of attention nonetheless, broke the silence that characterised the after dinner relaxation in the living room. Instinctively, each one of them rose from their various places along the couch, set down their collective books, laptops, newspapers or knitting, and huddled around the sliding glass doors that led out to the deck, peeking outside.

Fireworks brightened the sky, likely being set off by someone a few more expansive properties down the road. Delighted grins lit up all their faces, just as the multicoloured sparks in all different shapes and patterns lit up the otherwise cloudless night, mixing beautifully with the twinkling stars.   
'You know...' Liz quietly piped up, 'there's a balcony upstairs, just off the upstairs living room, and that'd be a great viewpoint if anyone wants to brave the cold to watch the whole show.' Further grins were exchanged, and all five of them suddenly split in opposite directions, reaching for coats, scarves, gloves, and hats, wherever they had been left scattered all over the house throughout the course of each day. Even Naveed, who had been just starting to doze off on the couch again, was suddenly alert enough to hurry as fast as he could up the stairs and pile onto the balcony with the rest of them. Mehri huddled against his side, her tiny stature that otherwise barely reached Aram's shoulders, seeming completely enveloped against the height and wide built shoulders Naveed had clearly passed on to his son. Liz huddled next to Samar, and Samar in turn, huddled against Aram on her other side. Aram stretched his arm around Samar's shoulders, just managing to rest his hand on Liz's arm where it linked quite happily through Samar's. For nearly a full half hour, they all stared up in awe, delightedly watching each and every flash of colour dance across the sky, then slowly fall away and be replaced by the next. They ignored the cold as they watched wordlessly, unfazed by each of their warm breaths visible in front of them in the freezing air. Instead, they only huddled closer together each time someone shivered, until Mehri wound up right next to Liz's other side, the five of them slowly forming a jumbled, but perfectly content line. Eventually the impromptu show came to its inevitable end, and they reluctantly ambled back inside almost disappointed that it didn't last longer, despite how cold it was to stand around outside. They all took that as the silent cue to finally go to bed, and off they went in their various directions through the huge house once more, possibly even more blissful than they were before.

/*/*/*/*

'Flights and appointments are done, dinner is done, and the baby is asleep... _Finally_ ,' Samar sighed as she dropped lazily onto the huge bed beside Aram. He eyed her warily as Samar tugged the book he was about to start reading again before going to sleep, from his hands and placed it gently on the nightstand as she swung one of her legs over his so that she was sitting across him, facing him.   
'What did the doctor say?' Aram asked curiously, only half paying attention to the conversation as Samar slowly ran her fingers through his hair in that way she knew he could never resist. His hands instinctively swept down her sides and back as she ignored his question, and leaned forwards to kiss him instead. He noted –out of sheer awareness that it hadn't made an appearance in quite some time- that instead of the lavender scent he had become so accustomed to recently, Samar suddenly smelled like her fruity scented shampoo again. Ever so slowly, she pulled away from his lips, and nuzzled into his neck -her warm, toothpaste-fresh breath dancing lightly across his skin and prompting that familiar stirring sensation in response.   
'Guess what I can do now?' Samar whispered saucily in his ear. Aram's eyes went wide in excitement as he instantly understood what she was referring to, but he quickly steadied himself.  
'Really?' His voice cracked.  
'Mmhmmm,' Samar hummed against his neck, and her hands moved to slip under the bottom edge of his shirt, tugging it upwards and over his head, before throwing it over the edge of the bed onto the floor.   
'Are you sure? ...Do you uh, you know... Want to?' Aram was cautious; Samar was completely on top of him, no part of her shied away from pressing against him, and her warm breath and soft lips on his neck did nothing whatsoever to stop the sudden urges rapidly taking over his body, but he was all too conscious of the fact that she wasn't yet completely healed. She was still hurting, and just because she _could_ technically do things, it didn't mean that she _should_ , nor that he should necessarily expect her to.   
'No Aram, I'm just undressing you for the hell of it,' she muttered, holding back a laugh while pulling away from his neck and glancing at him with one raised eyebrow. He shot her a guilty grin; _yeah ok, he probably could have seen that one coming_.   
'Right. Dumb question.' Samar shook her head with a touch of amusement, before leaning in once again.  
'Stop talking and kiss me,' she whispered. Aram obliged happily, pushing back against her and kissing her as deeply and passionately as he could, out of sheer anticipation... _It had been so long_. He slid his fingers under the edge of her slip, pushing it slowly upwards along her sides until his hands brushed against her breasts and he felt her shiver against him. He quickly pulled the slip the rest of the way over her head, tossing it onto the floor just as unceremoniously as she had thrown his shirt, and Samar ran her hands eagerly down his chest as she continued to straddle him, rocking just slightly as she returned her attention to his neck. Aram let out a small groan, not even realising it until he felt Samar chuckle against him. After all the time that had passed, she was just as desperately wanting as he was, but she was also far less patient. Aram gripped his arms around her hips, both pushing and holding her steady as he rolled her onto her back. He was well and truly ready to go already –it had been so long that no matter how gentlemanly he was, he couldn’t deny how badly he wanted this, and Samar's own rocking against him had only perpetuated how quickly he had reacted- but he wanted just as much to be careful, and that meant not roughly throwing her down on to the bed beneath him, or even straight away putting all his weight onto her. That was why Aram had held her steady as he rolled them both; he wanted her to be able to enjoy what she so clearly wanted from him, and that wasn't going to happen if he made her injuries any worse. Aram's legs tangled with hers, as he brushed the hair off her face and stroked the fading, jagged pink line across her cheek, as if just closing his eyes and pressing a slow kiss to it would make it disappear entirely. His gaze swept across her whole body spread out under his; the bruises from her beating, though now mostly faded, still left slight shadows on her skin, and they made him nervous.    
'I don't want to hurt you,' he murmured, the tips of his fingers tracing their way along the edges of each and every one as they slowly trailed their way from her cheek, all the way down to her hips. His soft touch made her skin tingle everywhere, and Samar simply smiled up at him.   
'I trust you,' she whispered back. Aram was gentle enough already as it was, so Samar had no doubt that he would be careful. She slid her hands over his shoulders, linking her hands behind his neck and pulling him in closer to her so she could kiss him again. Once satisfied that Aram had focused again on the task at hand, Samar turned to the next one; taking his boxers off him. Her hands drifted down again and tugged at the top of them, trying to pull them down, but Aram ignored her efforts, and Samar could only reach so far. Aram slid one hand of his own from her hip down and across her thigh, enjoying the warmth he could feel spreading through the thin fabric of her underwear. He stroked her through them once, twice... Three times, noting the satisfaction on her face and the way her back was starting to arch in response. Aram ran his thumb along the lace edging, before quickly glancing back at Samar, silently asking yet again if she was sure. Without a word, Samar shimmied out of them, sending them along much in the same direction as the rest of their clothes. Aram slid his hand back between her legs once again, slowly but surely getting to work. If Samar wanted this, Aram was more than happy to indulge her –after all, he so desperately wanted it too- but he was going to take it one step at a time, rather than jumping straight in the deep end. She was still raw, and he wanted to figure out exactly how far he could go without causing her any pain, before he became too excited himself.  

Samar rolled her head back against the pillow, a satisfied grin crossing her face at the way Aram's slow but firm touch had pleasure spreading through her body like wildfire –finally understanding what he was doing, and why he had resisted her attempts to pull off his own underwear, despite what she could feel through them pressed firmly against her thigh. She gasped for breath as the first round of convulsions rocked her, the pain of using those muscles again only just twinging through that delightful pleasure. Aram studied the expression on her face as she grasped at him, trying to pull him closer. Her eyes were closed and he couldn't help but grin at that satisfied smile, and the way she continued to gasp. He shifted forwards again, leaning in to press one more deep kiss to her lips as her convulsions began to slow. Samar eagerly kissed him back, her arms wrapping around him as best they could now that he had moved, and finally looked up again as he pulled away from the kiss. Aram stayed there though, his face barely an inch from hers, blissfully staring down at her.  
'What?' She murmured, a touch of amusement lingering in her voice. Aram grinned, and dotted a few more quick kisses to her lips and all over her neck and shoulders before responding, making her chuckle.  
'Just taking in how beautiful you are,' he whispered back.   
'We've barely even started yet.' Samar glanced up at him, almost pleadingly, as her hands still wrapped around him slid down towards the edges of his underwear again, prompting him to continue. She wanted him so badly. _She had been waiting for that closeness for so long..._ And she knew she was ready, no matter how sweet and cautious Aram was. Aram gave her a sheepish grin, finally content that he wasn't going to hurt her. He nuzzled into her neck once again, earning himself a joyous hum as he finally allowed her to pull off his boxers and toss them to the floor.  
'Ready?' He asked softly.  
'Mmhmm.' Samar's legs tangled around his, drawing him in as close as physically possible as he slid into her. Almost simultaneously, they both breathed sighs of contented relief as Aram slowly but surely picked up the pace. Another small ache of pain twinged through her muscles as they adjusted to take him, but Samar didn't care.  

 _Finally_... After so much time, after all the waiting and all the longing for each other, finally... It was happening.  

Hands went everywhere in a frenzy, both of them all too eager to explore every inch of each other again. Aram moaned happily as Samar rediscovered that spot on the back of his neck where all it took was her fingers dancing lightly across his skin to make him shiver in response, and then continued onwards running her hands down his sides and then clutching him closer to her again. He kissed her everywhere he could reach, gentle around her ribs and less so everywhere else along her silky smooth skin, all the while softly kneading one breast into the palm of his hand, and enjoying each and every happy sigh it elicited from her as her back arched in response yet again. Aram picked up the pace one last time, knowing he was nearly there, and feeling that Samar was right there with him. He was nearly seeing stars already. Samar gave one more breathless gasp against his ear, the first wave of her second round of convulsions all it took to finally push Aram over the edge, and bring him along with her... Both of them gasping as they rocked and pushed against each other with everything they had until the end inevitably came. Aram brushed the hair off her face as they both tried to catch their breath, grinning with just as much contentment and utter satisfaction as she was. He slowly rolled off her, landing just beside her on the bed, and Samar promptly curled up next to him, tucking herself neatly against his side as their legs remained so comfortably tangled together. She let out another happy sigh as she rested her head against his chest, and Aram ran his fingers through her hair. Samar slowly closed her eyes, the peaceful quiet and Aram's comfortable, relaxing presence all she needed now, until Aram suddenly let out a soft chuckle.    
'What's so funny?' She murmured, her eyes still closed. Aram had glanced just past her, over to the alarm clock on the nightstand... Where those bright green numbers now read 12:02.  
'Well,' he whispered back, 'that was certainly one way to ring in the new year.' Samar opened her eyes again, tilting her head slightly to glance at the clock over her shoulder and see what he was talking about. With a small grin, she tilted her head once again, but this time to look up at Aram, and press one final kiss to his cheek.  
'Happy 2017,' she mused happily in response. Aram wrapped his arms around her in absolute bliss, settling his hands along the curves of her hips as both of their eyes fell shut once more... His breathing the first to slow as he sunk into slumber, and Samar's following just seconds later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, Samar and Ressler discover just how far off the same page they really are, and it all comes crashing down around them, in 'Risk'.


	42. Risk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Friday, January 6, 2017. 
> 
> Ah yes, after much hinting and lead up, here Samar and Ressler discover they are not on the same page as they thought they were. 
> 
> Warning for angst, emotionally charged arguments from both sides, and Samar having a rather unpleasantly Maxwell-themed nightmare afterwards.

Ressler's gaze drifted absentmindedly to the elevator floor. His foot tapped anxiously against the steel grating without him even realising it. Day one back at the Post Office after their holiday break, and Ressler was nervous. He had sworn to himself over New Year's that he wouldn't break this year's resolution... And this year's resolution was to finally stop procrastinating, stop desperately trying to convince himself that he had to delay it... To finally pull Samar aside and have that conversation he had been waiting for, for months. He stepped out of the elevator, paying no attention to its usual rumbling noises, and strode into the war room.

Samar sat quietly at her desk, reading the news on her laptop.  

Nobody else was around.

'Hey, Samar...' Ressler trailed off, coming to a sudden stop at the other side of her desk. Samar glanced up, shooting him that polite half-smile she always did when her mind was wandering elsewhere.   
'Morning,' she murmured back. Ressler took another furtive glance around the room, double checking that nobody else was there.  
'No Aram this morning?' He asked curiously.  
'He just took Leila downstairs,' Samar's gaze had drifted back to her screen, 'there was some computer issue down there they wanted him to look at, so he took her with him.' Ressler nodded slowly, taking that in. In a way, it made things a little easier –he didn't have to worry about Aram listening in.  
'Right... Uh, Can we talk?' Samar's gaze snapped quickly upwards, now giving him her full attention. 'About Leila...' Ressler slowly added, before gesturing behind him with his thumb, 'in my office?'   
'Ok...' Samar's brow furrowed curiously, but thought little more of it. She followed him the few extra steps across the room to his office, closing the door behind her. She paused, cautiously studying Ressler's tensed shoulders and flickering gaze, before speaking up again. 'What did you want to talk about?' Ressler took a slow, deep breath, wondering how to start that potentially risky conversation. There was no easy way to do it, and neither of them liked to beat around the bush... His eyes snapped back to hers, deciding just to go straight for it.   
'Right... Uhh.. So you remember when I said I was going to stay out of your way and not be a part of Leila's life?' He began. Samar's small smile vanished instantly. No discussion that started like that could be good, not when she had her own ideas in mind that she had been quietly looking into.   
'Yeah?' Her voice was wary, and Ressler shifted uneasily on the spot where he stood.  
'Well, I was wondering-' Samar bit her lip anxiously the second that sentence began '-could we maybe, renegotiate that?' Samar took a breath, steadying herself. An anxious pang suddenly settled in her stomach at the realisation that this conversation was different. She wasn't the frustrated kind of angry that she always had been in arguments past –instead, she was the hurt and miserable kind of angry. The kind that worried, that after everything, what felt like one simple, inconsequential change of heart to Ressler, was in fact a strike to crumble everything she had tried so hard to build. She stood there, quietly contemplating that for the small handful of seconds that to Ressler, felt like an eternity. Her face was hard to read, and for a split second, Ressler wasn't sure if that made him feel better or worse. He had expected that she would immediately start to yell, no matter how well they had seemed to be getting along of late, no matter how she seemed to have relaxed the boundaries to let him in a little more. That was one thing; the unofficial, casual balance between them. But now he was asking, making his point, and so he had expected her to yell. But instead, she just looked quietly concerned.   
'No,' Samar said, suddenly looking back at him and hurriedly shaking her head. It still wasn't a yell. In fact, it was still quiet. If anything, she seemed... _Upset?_ Ressler frowned in confusion.    
'But-' He tried to start. Despite the expected yell, he hadn't expected her to put her foot down quite so hard, or so fast.   
'-No buts,' she cut him off, decidedly unsettled.  

Samar had thought Ressler wanted to respect their boundary, and she had trusted him to do so. She was speechless. In fact, they both were. Ressler's heart ached in his chest, eyeing the way Samar was anxiously biting her lip again. None of this was going the way he had thought; he felt guilty, rather than angry... And Samar looked like she felt much the same –with the one exception of that stubbornly furrowed brow. 'You can't just suddenly turn around and make an announcement like this,' Samar eventually spoke up again. Her voice wavered a little, but she pressed on anyway, determined to make her point;  'I talked to you _every_ step of the way before she was born even when I didn't have to, just to be fair to you... And the _only_ thing I _ever_ asked of you in return was that you stuck to whatever decision you made, and didn't mess me around. If you change your mind now after just a few months, how am I supposed to be able to trust you not to do that _again?_ How do I know you're not going to give up three months from now because it gets too hard, and you suddenly abandon her again?' Ressler paused, taking that in. It was a valid fear, he had to give her that much... But he knew what he wanted.  
'I'm not going to change my mind again,' his voice pleaded with her.   
'You've said that before,' Samar reluctantly shook her head. 'And what are you going to do? Suddenly turn pull your home office apart to add a nursery, then take her home every second weekend and start playing daddy again after you've been avoiding her for _months_? It's really not that simple. She needs _stability_ , Ressler. And I need to be able to trust that you're not just going to turn my life upside down every so often, on just a whim.' Samar winced, knowing that sounded far more harsh than what she was intending... But she was determined to stand her ground. Ressler had known right from the start what she was expecting from him when he made his choice, and she wasn't about to back down now.    
'That's not what I meant,' Ressler sighed, 'it's just so hard to see her around all the time and not be able to call her mine when I know she is!' Samar shrugged; there was nothing she could really do about that.   
'You should have thought of that back at the start,' she pointed out. She didn't want to yell, she didn't want to be angry. Samar was trying to be as calm and fair as she could, but she was hurt by the idea that Ressler thought he could just waltz straight back into Leila's life after so long, and she wanted to stick to the boundaries they already had... The boundaries that otherwise, worked so well. 'You certainly _didn't_ rush into your decision, and you had endless time to consider all the options.'  
'I _did_ think of it,' Ressler begged her, 'but I underestimated how hard it would be.'    
'I'm sorry...' Samar sighed miserably, hating to have to do this to him, 'but that train left the station long ago. I appreciate the way you wanted to protect her while I was missing, I really do... But you walked away. Aram was the one who stepped up, and we have a life together now.'  
'You can't just take her away from me,' he burst out. It was the first moment where either of their voices started to rise in volume, and this time it was in sheer desperation. Samar braced herself, cautious about the chance of their mutual attempted calm flying out the window and breaking once again into fury. She still had other things she wanted to discuss with him much further down the track, but this, now, made it all a million times harder... As did the sudden memory of Ressler's pain over Audrey. Samar understood that pain, she understood the conflict Ressler was feeling, and she didn't want it all to be so difficult, but she had to be realistic, and practical too.   
'I'm _not_ ,' she said, emphatically but still gently. 'You see her almost every morning when I bring her in, and you still will. You can visit any weekend you like, just like Liz does. I'm not stopping you from being a friend, or even... A weird _uncle_ if that's what you'd prefer. You're just not her parent.' Ressler gritted his teeth, frustrated.  
'You keep saying that,' he muttered bitterly, 'but I never see her on weekends. You and Liz have your movie nights, and your coffee outings, and whatever else it is that you two do, but _I_ never see Leila on weekends like she does.' Samar simply gaped at him.  
'I wasn't stopping you, if _that's_ what you're getting at,' she exclaimed, 'this isn't all on _me_. You say you want to see her on weekends, but you've never _asked_ before now. You never call. Ressler, you haven't even _held_ her since the day she was born. _Don't_ think I haven't noticed.'

Ressler went quiet again, fuming silently at the fact that he couldn't argue back. It was true, and he knew it. He had avoided Leila before now, but not out of a lack of interest. Rather, he had been so desperate to stay away as promised that he didn't want to let himself get too close... But of course, neither of them could read each other's minds. To Samar, of course it looked like he didn't want to be around them and so of course, she had tried to move on. Likewise, she had wanted to leave it up to him to figure out when he wanted to see Leila, so as to keep it casual and not so difficult for him to let go... But of course, to him that looked like she was pulling Leila away. Ressler kept standing there silently, at a total loss as to where to go from there. He wanted so desperately to be a part of Leila's life again, and naturally, Samar was trying to protect their little girl from being hurt... And that was something Ressler couldn't really fault no matter how much it simultaneously infuriated him. Samar's gaze dropped to the office floor, her dark curls tumbling around her face as she tried to think of anything, _any_ way to fix the problem.  

But, she couldn't.

Samar had her own plans in mind, things that she had been thinking about on and off from the time she had spent laying on that filthy floor at the mercy of Maxwell's vicious henchmen. She had wanted to spend more time researching. She hadn't yet breathed a word of her plans to anyone besides her lawyer since she came home, not even to Aram. Samar wasn't ready to head down what would inevitably be yet another furious rabbit's warren of arguments that went around in circles, but given where this conversation was heading... If Ressler kept pushing, then she would be forced to mention it. And Samar so hated to be forced. She took a breath, hoping that if she volunteered the information, the subsequent argument might just not be so bad... After the brief pause, she slowly began to speak again.

'I want Aram to adopt Leila,' she said, so quietly it was barely more than a whisper. Ressler's face contorted into a mix of devastation and shock, his cheeks rapidly reddening in irritation.  
'Wait, _what?'_ Samar grimaced in response to Ressler's pained gasp.  
'I don't want what happened with Social Services while I was captured, to happen again, ' she replied, in a hurry to explain before Ressler grew too angry to have the discussion rationally. 'It wouldn't change anything from the way it is now. Leila would still live with Aram and me, and you'd still see her.' Samar paused for a second, studying his face before taking the continued silence as cue to continue; 'Liz once pointed out to me that though she was adopted, it didn't make her think any less of her biological father. She had both, and so can Leila. It's just a question of putting down one name so that Leila has a second legal guardian on _paper_. She needs that for safety's sake.' Ressler simply gaped at her, still in shock. Now it was Samar pleading with _him,_ for once.    
'She _needs_ a second legal guardian, and you just said _I_ couldn't be-' Ressler shook his head, cutting himself off from even trying to understand _that_ logic, while he continued to process her sudden outburst- 'what happened to you saying it was too soon for Aram's name to go on the paperwork, huh? You guys have barely been together for _a year_... What if you break up? What then?' Samar cringed, remembering the very conversation in her kitchen before Leila was born, where Ressler had asked her then about Aram's role in Leila's life.    
' _If_ that ever happens, we'll deal with it then. It _is_ soon, I know. Before now, I didn't think I'd even consider this for _years_ , but I'm not thinking about it from a relationship standpoint now. I'm considering it from the standpoint of trying to keep Leila _safe_.'  
'So put _my_ name down! If all you need is another name, why can't it be mine?' Samar grimaced again; finally, their collective volume in the office was rising, both of them desperate, and far less aligned with each other in their plans for Leila's future now than they had been in the past. The time spent carefully toeing the boundaries and placating each other had inadvertently stopped them from really talking as they used to, and now they had diverged to distinctly different paths.   
'Because Aram's the one who took on that role from the start, not you,' Samar sighed, echoing her earlier observation. 'He hasn't backed down once, and that makes him the far more stable option. I want his role in her life recognised _somehow_.' But it was too late to negotiate now. The shock had disappeared from Ressler's face and now the frustration had taken over; the very outcome Samar had hoped to delay.  

It could only get worse from there.  

'Well, marry him or something.' Ressler threw his hands in the air in frustration, and Samar winced again. 'If you can let him adopt her, then you can marry him. Let him be a step parent, I don't care... But not _this_. Have you even done your research? Do you even know how this works?' Samar paused at the question.  
'...Yes, _why?'_  
'Because I've looked into it too. Aram can't petition for second parent adoption until he's lived with Leila for at least a year, and although you guys have been all cute and rushed into living together ages ago, if I remember correctly when he had to see me to update his personnel file with the change of address, officially he's only been living with her for a couple of months. You guys have another nine months or so because he can even _think_ about filing.'  
'So?'  
' _So_ ,' Ressler spat, too angry now to care, 'you shouldn't have tried to play sweet and tell me so early. You don't need my signature for Aram to adopt her if my name isn't on the birth certificate, but like you guys _all_ keep telling me; _I_ don't have to wait. And I _don't_ need your permission. I could go down to the courthouse today if I wanted to, and then you _would_ need my signature in nine months time... And I wouldn't give it to you.' Samar's face contorted in fury. 'What if I _had_ filed for paternity like everyone told me to, while you were missing?' Ressler held up two fingers with a gap between them no wider than the nail on a pinky finger, 'Samar, I came this close to doing it. And if I had, would we even be having this conversation?'  

Samar took another breath, anything, to keep calm. The power that she had once had over him, had now finally shifted. Now, Ressler had it all... And Samar didn't like what he was doing with it, one bit.  

'It took me a while to understand,' she started, after another brief pause, and trying desperately to stay calm, 'but after I got over the initial frustration, I understood why you made your original decision. You wanted to stay away, to try and put _her_ needs first, no matter how difficult it was for you.' She paused, tilting her head to him in the tiniest nod of recognition; 'that was far more selfless of you than I had expected and once I understood that, I wanted to relax things and let you have the contact you needed with Leila.' She paused again, this time to shake her head in utter disappointment. 'But _this_ , I don't understand. Now you're being selfish and spiteful, and I _don't_ like it. How is that what's best for _her_ , Ressler?' They locked eyes with one another, Ressler once again frustrated by how she managed to make a point he couldn't argue with. It was only seconds after making his threat, and he already regretted it. Ressler hated to be spiteful, and he knew it was wrong... But he was so desperate, and felt so hopeless. He didn't want to lose the contact he had with Leila already, but that was the risk he had known he was taking when he anxiously rode the elevator up from the car park in the basement. 'You know what else?' Samar added suddenly, 'not once has Aram ever tried to step on your toes. If it came down to you two fighting over Leila because something happened to me, he wouldn't even _dream_ of trying to stop you from seeing her. I know it, and you know it. But would you pay him the same courtesy? _He's_ the one who looks after her, and yet _you're_ the one objecting to the idea of him keeping her safe. I'm far less sure that if it came down to it, you wouldn't take her away from _him_.' Samar took another breath, furiously pushing the hair back off her face and trying to hold back the tears welling up in her eyes. They stared at each other; they had officially hit rock bottom. This conflict was so much worse than those past, where they had at least come to some sort of resolution by the end, _even if_ one of them had to compromise. Whereas this one was different; they were both far too hurt, and angry, and it felt so much more personal. Neither of them cared now, whether or not their words hurt each other.

'You can't win _every_ time, Samar,' Ressler stubbornly scowled at her. He had relented to her enough times; this time Ressler wasn't going to back down... But neither was Samar. 

/*/*/*/*

Liz strolled out of the elevator and into the war room, noting the furious faces of both Ressler and Samar through the glass window of the office as she walked past, and did a double take. Warily, she glanced back to Aram's desk, just as Samar stormed out of Ressler's office and headed for the stairwell with a look on her own face that was a whole new level of thunderous. The only thing stopping the office door from slamming shut, was Ressler storming out of the office two steps behind her and marching straight past Liz towards the elevator –only breaking in his stride to shoot Aram a particularly filthy look as he did so. Needless to say, after him the door then _did_ slam shut. Liz took the few final steps over to Aram's desk, stopping cautiously by the edge.   
'What's going on?' She asked, a touch of hesitation lingering in her voice.   
'I honestly have no idea,' Aram murmured back. 'I came back upstairs and saw them in the office... They looked calm at first and then it just deteriorated from there.' Liz let out a weary sigh.  
'I thought they were past all the arguing...'   
'Me too...'  
'And what did _you_ do to earn that look?' Aram shrugged, utterly clueless.  
'I'm not even sure I _want_ to know,' he muttered. Liz shot him a sympathetic look. Aram glanced at the time on his screen, trying to push what the newest dilemma was, out of his mind. He furrowed his brow, shifting his gaze back to Liz. 'Wait, why are you late this morning?' Liz let out a soft smile, knowing it was probably for the best to change the subject.    
'I was meeting with Reddington and one of  his lawyers, and it went a little later than I expected,' she explained. A flash of alarm crossed Aram's face, until she continued; 'you can't have a criminal conviction expunged until a minimum of ten years plus your probation has passed... He's trying to call in the people who owe him favours to see if he can have mine expunged now after one, instead of after another twelve.' Liz shrugged her shoulders lackadaisically. 'It's going to take a while.' Now it was Aram's turn to give a sympathetic look. 'I don't know where Ressler disappeared to,' Liz observed, suddenly frowning again, 'but should we find Samar or not?'

/*/*/*/*

_Samar lay on the filthy, dusty floor of the compound, cursing herself for having that moment of doubt and lowering the gun pointed at Maxwell. He stood above her now, looking down... Sneering at her. Every breath was a struggle; the pain seared through Samar's chest every time she tried to draw in the air. Maxwell crouched down beside her... Waving the photos in her face from his outing after having knocked her back down to the ground. Each one was taken from the apartment across the street from her own, with a high zoom camera lens that saw straight through the living room window at a moment where Aram and Mehri were fussing over Leila... Samar forced herself not to let out a single tear as she glanced at the photos and couldn't help but notice the exhaustion on Aram's face despite the small smile he had for Leila's benefit; just one clear sign that Samar's continued absence was already having an effect. Samar shifted her gaze to her little girl; in the picture at least, she appeared to be smiling, or even laughing. Samar tried to find some comfort in that, that at least Leila didn't understand what was happening... And she was happy. Maxwell pulled the pictures away from her grasp, drawing his weapon once more and pointing the cool metal against the side of her head. Samar closed her eyes, too defeated now to fight back, and all Maxwell could do was laugh that awful laugh...  
'And now,' he chuckled, the sadistic delight clear with every breath of his laughter, 'you thought you were so clever fighting back, didn't you? But you were wrong... And after this, I'm going back to your apartment, to visit that beautiful baby of yours...' _

Samar awoke with a gasp and a jump, sitting up in the bed and hurriedly pushing the sweaty hair off her face. _It was just a nightmare..._ She tried to tell herself over and over again. _Maxwell's dead, it was just a dream, a what if scenario that will never happen..._ Samar wrapped her arms around her knees, burying her face in the gap where the comforter bunched up around them. A familiar, warm hand brushed against her lower back, making her jump once again, and Samar quickly turned her head to see Aram, bleary eyed, reaching for her across the bed. He slowly sat up, shuffling over slightly to rub her back and shoulders.    
'Nightmare?' He asked quietly. Samar nodded without a word. No words need to be exchanged; he knew where her head was at. She was coping well enough given the circumstances, but that didn't stop her subconscious from tormenting her with all the what ifs while she slept, especially during the nights immediately following stressful days. Aram gently squeezed her shoulders, as Samar rested her head against his. 'What can I do?' He whispered. Samar blinked a few times, before it even registered that he had said something more, then finally tilted her head to gently kiss his cheek.  
'You're doing it already,' she murmured, 'thank you.'

They sat there in silence for a few minutes more, Samar's breathing eventually slowing as Aram held her close.  

Finally, she lifted her head again and slowly pushed back the covers. Aram didn't even need to ask where she was going. She was going where she always went after one of those what if nightmares; to check on Leila. Aram gave her a few seconds, before he too, pushed back the covers, clambered out of bed, and trailed along out of their room and down the hall behind her. He stopped just in the doorway to Leila's room, peering in; there was Samar, sitting cross-legged on the floor beside the crib, resting her head against the wood frame, and watching... Just watching her little girl sleep so peacefully. Aram took a few steps more, then sat down next to her, crossing his own legs and finally reaching around Samar's waist, pulling her in close until she sat across his legs, nestled comfortably against him while she continued staring.  

She hadn't yet told him what she and Ressler had fought about. Samar had tried instead, to focus on other things while they were at work, so as not to allow the dramas of their personal lives get in the way, outside of Ressler's tiny office space at least, anyway. Then, once home, she had held up her smile despite her otherwise evident frustrations, so as not to allow her stress to potentially impact Leila again. But now, sitting there, curled up in Aram's arms, while Leila was finally sleeping the night through again, even Samar knew; it was well past the time to tell him what he had so patiently not asked her about. She moved her head back from the side of the crib, turning slightly to face Aram again, and tiredly tousle his hair.    
'Ressler asked me today if he can start to be a part of her life again,' Samar murmured, a flash of bitterness lingering in her voice. Aram dropped his gaze, instantly understanding the problem.   
'That's what you were fighting about?'    
'Not quite... It was calm for most of that. We started arguing after I said no,' Samar paused for a moment, her brow furrowing anxiously, 'and I said no... Because I'd like you to adopt her instead.' A brief silence fell between them, Samar instantly wondering whether she should have asked Aram beforehand, rather than telling him after the fact, but it was too late for that now. Aram's mouth made a small 'o' of surprise.  
'Do you _really_ want me to do that?' He gasped, almost in awe, and Samar simply nodded. Aram stared back at her, speechless, as he processed the idea, a delighted grin slowly working its way across his face.  
'But before you get too excited...' Samar trailed off, and Aram faltered for a split second, before Samar launched into quickly summarising the 'discussion' with Ressler, her reasoning behind it all, Ressler's reaction... And, his threat. 'I just want Leila to be safe,' Samar sighed in conclusion, 'why would I have considered putting down his name instead of yours? He walked away, you didn't. You stepped up, and he never said anything before now to make me think anything else. The only reason this is an issue now is because he changed his mind.'   
'Well,' Aram began, after a slight hesitation, 'I really don't want to cause some kind of huge problem that splits up the team, but... _If_ we can do this-' the small grin suddenly reappeared on his face- 'I'd be _honoured_.' Samar smiled back; she had worried while researching the adoption process for step parents, that it may be a little too harsh after all Ressler's efforts to find her while she was missing... But with his threat to step in and make things difficult, just out of sheer spite, still ringing in Samar's ears, for the moment at least she wasn't quite feeling warm enough towards him to really care. She was determined to simply fight whatever Ressler threw at her along the way as she went; the ball was in Ressler's court now, and Samar was going to hold her head high and simply keep moving forward. If by the time Aram was allowed to adopt Leila, Ressler still continued to stall and not follow through with his determination to be a part of Leila's life again, well... Samar knew what she was going to do. In the meantime, it was entirely up to Ressler to decide what _he_ was going to do.  

And that nine months of waiting to see what that was, was not something that Samar was about to allow to crumble away at her happiness –not after everything else she had been through.  

Her smile in Aram's direction only widened the more she thought about it, and the more determined she felt.    
'So now, we wait...' Samar murmured, casting another quick glance at Leila over her shoulder, before looking back at Aram. 'You're really ok with this?' Her one doubt was the very same as Ressler's; that there was the ever so slight chance that they wouldn't last before that time came. Aram's lip quirked up as he nodded, knowing exactly what it was that she was worried about, but not being fazed about it himself at all. He had no doubts in that respect. With a mischievous grin, he took Samar's hand in his and pulled her up from the floor, before scurrying around to face her again, and quickly kneeling before her. Samar's expression turned to one of shock, not expecting _that_ gesture in the slightest. 'Uhh, Aram... What are you do-' But Aram simply gestured for her to hush.  
'Yes Samar, I am _very_ ok with this...' He said, nodding earnestly. 'And, I promise to still be around in nine months time to be legally allowed to adopt your kid... Or you know, _our_ kid.' Aram beamed up at her, and finally, after all the stresses of the day so far... Samar let out a laugh at just how ridiculous –but nonetheless sweet- he was, just for the sake of trying to make her feel better. Aram stood once more, and pulled her in close again as she laughed. 'Feel better now?' He whispered. Samar nodded against his shoulder, and Aram brushed a quick kiss to the top of her head. With a slight tug on her hand, he pulled her along, out of Leila's room, down the hall, and back to their own room.

One more nightmare over, and it was time to go back to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmm... It seems they both have some very interesting points to argue. Nobody hate me for that argument, *please*! Things will work out in the long run. In the meantime, that was the start of some cookie crumbs about the next few long-term story arcs yet to come, now that both pregnancies are long over. 
> 
> Also, if anyone's confused about that middle section with Liz and Aram, here's the moment to send your attention back to the things Liz and Samar talked about in the 'Sisterhood' chapter. 
> 
> Sidenote; I think I've menioned before that I like doing the occasional bit of research to try and keep things accurate-ish, but from this chapter onwards there will probably be some legal stuff every so often that's not completely, 100% accurate. For one, I'm not American (just in case you didn't already note that from my whacky spelling), and the laws surrounding adoption and conviction expungement are a little different over here in Australia, so I had to rely on good ol' Professor Google. Secondly, it seems that the laws for both angles I'm hoping to write storylines about, vary from state to state and to territory, and DC seems to be one of the most difficult to get a straight answer about online. Anyway, all in all I'm just making the most of the things I have found, and then trying to fill in the blanks with similar-ish things from other jurisdictions or pieces of artistic license, just to make it all work the way I want it to. 
> 
> Next up, all I'll say is that there's a snowstorm around the Post Office, in 'Restless'.


	43. Restless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Friday, January 13, 2017.
> 
> The snowstorm, as promised! 
> 
> Credit for the mentions of The Post Office Bandit goes to my pal NamelesslyNightlock and her story 'The Infamous Case of the Post Office Bandit'. If you haven't read it yet, you should!

The Post Office was eerily quiet. Another case, and another day, over. Another week, in fact, seeing as it was late Friday evening. Most of the Post Office's agents had left already, not having to stay back to work late, and wanting to get out before the predicted storm hit. The only few left were the most senior, and the bare minimum required to wrap things up before the weekend; Cooper, Ressler, Liz, Samar, and Aram. Even the two staff in the small child care centre downstairs had already gone home; the last few things the team had left to do were all things that could be done at their desks and thus, Sammy and Leila could snooze quietly in their carriers in the war room. There was work to be hurried through so everyone could leave, and little left for them all to talk about –even less really, considering the tension that still remained lingering in the air between Samar and Ressler, one week on from the discussion in Ressler's office. By now they were both regretting their words, not that either of them knew the other felt the same... And so quiet they stayed –each believing that the other remained set in fighting for their way, rather than working towards a compromise.  

The snow had started falling outside again and not long after, the wind picked up too. It was no worse than normal at first, but Aram was keeping an eye on the online weather radar he had pulled up on his computer as he worked, and it was impossible for _any_ of them not to glance up warily as the noise outside began to intensify and the sheer volume of the howling managed to penetrate the Post Office's concrete walls. Each of them shifted restlessly in their seats intermittently as they worked through the last of their paperwork. The weather outside was already bad enough to make even Ressler reconsider the drive home... And it was still set to get worse the longer they had to sit there.  

A loud clap of thunder cracked outside, causing the lights and computers to flicker. Aram exchanged wary glances with everyone else in the room; it wasn't a promising sign. Another thunderclap caused another flicker, and then another, and another... And then the light just didn't come back on. The war room was plunged into darkness.  
'Give it a second,' Aram hurriedly piped up, as his colleagues began to clamour, 'the back up generators should kick in any second now.' He gazed around the room with a flash of concern as his eyes adjusted to the darkness; it took a lot to wipe out the Post Office power supply. For the weather to manage such a feat, it had to be _beyond_ unsafe to drive outside by now. Nonetheless, and just as promised, the back up generators kicked in a moment later, causing everyone but Aram to breathe a sigh of relief as they went back to work. Aram, on the other hand, tapped furiously at his keyboard, running a diagnostic check on his computer after it was so rudely deprived of power, mid-report.  

All he could do was hope that there might be a tiny break in the storm, just enough for them all to get out safely...

...But as Liz became the first to return her last file to the filing cabinet, there was no change in the weather outside. She ambled across the war room to peek over Aram's shoulder at the weather radar, before furrowing her brow in concern.   
'You're not leaving, right?' Aram asked hurriedly, 'you can't go out there now, not with Sammy too. It's not safe.' Liz shook her head no; she wasn't that silly. She much preferred to sit and wait for a break in the storm but as she warily eyed the radar, it didn't seem as if there was a break coming at all.   
'I'm not going anywhere, don't worry.' She gave Aram a small, reassuring nod, and he breathed a sigh of relief. Liz caught Samar's eye across the room, and she nodded too. To be quite honest, Samar was already contemplating the best way to physically block Liz from reaching the elevator on the off chance she _did_ try to leave... And if the look on Ressler's face was any indication, he was thinking much the same thing.  

Well... At least that meant they agreed on _something._  

Samar signed the last page in her last file and closed it, suddenly rising from her own seat to add it to the filing cabinet and cross the room to stand by Aram's other side. She raised a single, wry eyebrow at the sight of the bright colours lighting up the entire map of the city.   
'Yep,' she sighed, 'I think we're stuck here for the night.'   
'But then the question is,' Ressler began, as he too promptly added his own last file to the cabinet and then came to a stop at the other side of Aram's desk, facing them, 'what do we do if we're stuck here? Sit at our desks all night, or sleep on the hard floor?' He glanced warily at Sammy and Leila, each somehow still asleep in their carriers despite the noise outside, 'I mean, I know it's not safe to drive, but can the kids really stay here all night?'  
'Do you have a third option in mind?' Samar asked flatly, and Ressler quickly faltered. There really wasn't another option; leaving the Post Office in any kind of fashion meant braving the weather outside.   
'Hey Aram,' Liz suddenly piped up, and Aram shifted his gaze back to her. 'Can you bring up the city power grid? If we're running on the backup generators here, then there are probably outages all across the city.' Aram immediately did as suggested, and Ressler circled around the desk so that all four of them were staring at the grid on Aram's monitor.  

Sure enough, Liz was right... And each of their apartments were in neighbourhoods without power.  

'It's probably better that we stay here then,' Samar observed, 'at least here we have light and heating.' Aram nodded his rather emphatic agreement.  
'Everything the kids could need is downstairs,' Liz pointed out, 'the child care centre is closed, but we can still get through the doors with our swipe cards, plus we have their bags up here already.'   
'There's enough food in the break room at least for one night, and we've all got at least one spare change of clothes in our lockers for cases where we have to work late-' Aram quickly added.  
'-and the bathrooms off the training gym downstairs have showers too.' Samar finished the train of thought for him. The three of them glanced back expectantly at Ressler, whose own gaze had dropped to the desk, deep in thought for a moment.  
'Ok, so it's possible...' He began, 'but there's one last thing; Cooper has the sofa in his office, but where do the rest of us all sleep?' The other three exchanged curious glances, then stared at the ground or at various walls for a moment, quietly contemplating that very question.  

'In here,' Aram slowly commented, breaking the silence.  
'Aram, we can't sleep on the concre-' Liz sighed, before Aram suddenly rose from his chair, and cut her off.  
'-no, no, no, not on the concrete,' he quickly exclaimed, 'the training gym has those thick mats on the floor to cushion falls when you guys throw each other around. If they're soft enough for that, then surely we could sleep on them for one night too, sort of like those roll out mattresses you can get when you go camping. We just have to drag them up here, but they're not heavy.' Liz and Samar both grinned, and even Ressler managed a small, impressed smile.   
'The cribs in the child care centre have wheels, right?' Ressler asked, and Liz and Samar both nodded. 'Ok so, we can wheel a couple of those up here too. The elevator should be big enough for at least one at a time, and then we're all up here together.'

Ressler promptly turned on his heels, heading for the elevator as soon as he finished his sentence, with Liz, Samar and Aram all right behind him.  

/*/*/*/*

The workstations were pushed outwards as the howling outside continued, and the space between Samar and Aram's desks that was normally used as a thoroughfare suddenly became the size of a small living room. Two cribs from the child care centre now sat either side of one desk, their wheels firmly locked into place so they didn't roll away if accidentally knocked by anyone confused by the sudden rearrangement of furniture, and enough mats for the four agents had been dragged up from the gym and spread out across one end of the former thoroughfare. On the other end, desk chairs had been pulled across and set around a third desk that had been cleared and shifted to form an impromptu dinner table. To top it off, Ressler had quickly run upstairs to tell Cooper the plan, only to find that their Assistant Director had the same idea, and was already setting up his own office for the night.  

The work was done, and now it was simply a matter of sitting out the storm.  

This was the point where Aram decided to point out to Ressler that though it was technically against Bureau policy to use black site computers for personal business, it was an evening that for the sake of everyone's sanity, he should be allowed to use his computer to play a movie or tv series on the overheads for them all to watch. In the meantime, Liz busied herself by making everyone coffee in the break room, and Samar and Ressler ambled around not sure what else to do while they waited. Aram on the other hand, took the moment to do some quick research on his computer before Liz came back and he had to start the movie –research, on something very particular, that Aram wasn't quite ready to share no matter how gleeful he was about it. Samar, bored in her ambling and curious about whatever seemed to have a mischievous grin spread across Aram's face no matter how hard he was visibly trying to hide it, wandered around his desk to peer over his shoulder at the monitor.

As soon as she took that last step around the bend to peek, Aram quickly minimised his browser window to hide what he was looking at.  

Samar leaned forwards a little further, resting her chin on his shoulder as she stared at the screen, one wry eyebrow now raised as curiously high as it could possibly go. All she had seen before Aram's split second reaction to her presence was hotel listings –not that she knew why he was looking at them, where he was planning on going, or what dates he had in mind.  
'Ooh, now _where_ are we going?' She hummed, the amusement clear in her voice. Aram turned his head slightly to waggle his eyebrows at her.  
'Nowhere at all,' he chirped in response, trying desperately not to chuckle to himself. Aram stared back at her pointedly until Samar rolled her eyes and marched back around to the opposite side of his desk where she couldn't see what he was doing.   
'What are you planning, then?' She asked warily. Aram didn't even take his eyes off the monitor as he promptly went back to his 'research' -instead he only grinned to himself more so as he responded;  
'You'll find out eventually.' Aram quickly wound up what he was looking at, before closing the browser window for good –lest Samar get any wild ideas about peeking at his surprise plans when he wasn't around- and strolling oh so casually to the break room to help Liz bring out all the coffee mugs. Samar watched him walk away, only breaking her gaze for a split second to swap an awkward glance with Ressler who of course, couldn't help but overhear the entire exchange.  

/*/*/*/*

With everyone now sitting around the room in their seats, staring up at the overheads at the introduction to _Red_ –Aram's deliberately clichéd film selection given the identity of the taskforce's 'informant' of choice-  Ressler took the first sip of his coffee and suddenly had to stop himself from recoiling.  

Instead of sugar in his coffee, there was salt.  

Ressler eyed Aram suspiciously over his mug, determined not to dignify such an unprofessional and immature move with any kind of response likely to cause amusement to the rest of the group. Ressler took another sip; he was going force himself to finish that coffee without complaint no matter how disgusting it was, and try to shake off his frustration instead. Of all the people in the group to play a prank on him, and of all the times to do it, Ressler was decidedly unimpressed that _Aram_ would do such a thing all of a week after the 'discussion' with Samar. Surely, Aram had more respect, and more tact than _that_.  

Nonetheless Aram, despite being the last one to touch the coffee in question when handing them all out, seemed totally oblivious rather than failing to surreptitiously observe a response.  

/*/*/*/*

Ressler waited until the movie was finished, and Aram, Samar, and Liz had all returned to the break room to look for food, before making his counter strike. With a touch of indignation, he eyed the four mats from the gym all scattered across the war room; naturally, the two claimed by Samar and Aram were positioned ever so slightly closer to each other than they were to the others. Ressler's fingers clutched the safety pin in his trouser pocket and he quickly rose from his seat before hurrying across to the mats in question. It was all too easy. Aram had already marked which one was his by tossing his jacket and backpack on top of it. It took all of three seconds for Ressler to poke a few tiny holes in the mat with his safety pin and then return to his seat. They weren't inflatable mats so they wouldn't deflate, so to speak... But, they _were_ filled with old, airy foam, and Ressler knew from experience that the older mats that had general wear and tear tended to squeak as the air moved through any small holes whenever people moved on them too quickly.  

That should give Aram a rather interesting night's sleep, if the storm outside didn't already.

/*/*/*/*

Ressler tried not to smirk to himself as he heard the first squeak from the mat behind him. Unlike the salt in his coffee, the holes in the mat weren't going to be a prank that paid off immediately. He had to wait for everyone to go to bed, and then listen for Aram to grow steadily more frustrated as the night went on. He closed his eyes blissfully as he laid back on his own, hole-free mat, ready to sleep...

...Until his eyes hurriedly snapped open again at the sound of Samar muttering expletives under her breath about the mat she was still sitting on.  

Ressler glanced across the room. Sure enough, though Aram's backpack had been tossed onto it earlier, the mat Ressler had poked a few holes into wasn't the one Aram was sleeping on after all. Rather, it was Samar's. Clearly, Aram had just been throwing his gear in the general direction of their shared space, not marking a side as Ressler had previously thought. An anxious breath caught in Ressler's throat; a retaliation prank against Aram was one thing, but an accidental prank on Samar was an entirely different ball game... She at least, had made a point of vigorously checking over the mat she picked from the gym to make sure there _were_ no holes in it at the time. Much like Ressler, Samar understood the frustrations of a squeaky one, _and_ as a result she would now know that the squeaking was a deliberate act. Liz too, warily eyed Samar from across the room for a moment, having been next to her at the time they dragged their chosen mats into the elevator and understanding all too well what had happened. Ressler stayed quiet, _hoping_ Samar would put it all down to a mix up with the mats and not think anything more of it, but knowing that the chances were slim.

Samar rolled onto her side to face Aram instead, as both Liz and Ressler stayed quiet. She wondered for a moment who would have played such a stupid prank. For a split second, she suspiciously eyed Aram staring back at her before deciding no, he wouldn't do such a thing when he had to spend the night right next to her listening to the squeaks too. Another second later, she dismissed the notion of Ressler having done it as well. He was far too adamant about following regulations and surely, he wouldn't damage Bureau property like that, even if it _was_ minor and nobody would think twice about another squeaky mat once it was back downstairs in the gym... Not to mention, _surely_ , he wouldn't do such a thing after their discussion a week earlier. They both knew not to poke the angry bear, so to speak.  

So, that left Liz... Who was conveniently across the room; close enough to find the squeaks amusing, but too far away to be bothered by them right in her ear.  

Samar sighed to herself as she shifted slightly and the mat squeaked again.   
'Do you want to swap?' Aram murmured quietly. Samar shot him an appreciative look, but shook her head all the same.  
'It won't make a difference,' she whispered back. 'This is going to keep us both awake no matter which one of us is laying on it.' Aram furrowed his brow, before reaching to pull Samar over a little closer to himself so that she was at least half on his own mat. Hopefully, that would reduce the squeaking somewhat.  

In the meantime, Samar had a whole night ahead of her planning how to get back at Liz in the morning, instead of being able to sleep properly.

/*/*/*/*

Ressler's eyes flickered open, the first to wake once the storm had eased and the daylight began to flicker through the tiny cracks of window along the Post Office catwalk upstairs. He sat up on his own gym mat, pausing only to reach for the jacket he had rolled up the night before to use as a pillow, before standing to stretch his legs. Ressler's gaze panned around the room; Liz was still asleep, as was Aram, and Samar too, after having finally fallen asleep some two hours after the rest of them. He shifted his gaze to Leila, still in her crib. With a small sigh, he crossed the small space in the room, and pulled up his chair so that he sat beside the crib, smiling softly at the baby girl with the twinkling, hazel eyes; she was awake, but simply staring around the silent room. Ressler reached through the bars to gently curl his fingers around Leila's, sighing miserably to himself as he thought back to all the things Samar had said in his office.  
'Hey, little sprout,' he murmured to Leila, as she stared back at him and began to gurgle happily to herself. Ressler paused to chuckle to himself; he had no idea where the name 'little sprout' had suddenly sprung to his mind from but somehow, it seemed appropriate. He took another quick, cautious glance over his shoulder to check that everyone else was still asleep, before speaking again. 'What am I supposed to do, hmm?' He mused to her; 'if I walk away, I'm abandoning you but if I try to stick around, I'm making things difficult for your mom... And I don't want to do either of those.' Ressler paused again for a moment, grinning wistfully at the way Leila was kicking her feet in response to him talking to her. 'I don't want to lose you,' he sighed, 'but I just can't win. No matter what I do, it seems to be the wrong thing all the time. What do you think?' He watched as Leila's grasp around his fingers began to ease, and she instead focused on trying to reach for her toes as she kicked at the air. Ressler sighed bitterly again, and gently stroked her cheek; 'yeah, I'd probably ignore me too right now if I were you, little sprout.'  
'I wouldn't,' came Liz's quiet voice behind him. Ressler jumped in his seat.  
'I thought you were still sleeping,' he muttered, hurriedly glancing back at Aram and Samar to make sure that _they_ at least, were still sleeping and hadn't overheard him. Liz failed to hold back a smirk; she had woken up just a minute after Ressler did, and crept up behind him once she heard him talking.  
'I noticed.' She quickly picked up Sammy from the other crib, before pulling her own chair over beside Ressler's, and gently cradling Sammy as she sat next to him. 'Give Samar some time,' Liz spoke again; 'she's as desperate not to lose Leila as you are, that's why she's doing what she's doing. You guys didn't exactly put yourselves in the easiest situation, you know... But you'll figure it out eventually.'  
'I thought we _had_ figured it out,' Ressler commented, raising a weary eyebrow. 'You know what we talked about last week, right?'  
'Samar gave me the summary,' Liz said, nodding hesitantly. 'But I also know she's upset, more than angry. She hates that it's come to this...' Liz paused, studying the expression on Ressler's face. '...Just like you do. You're not going to follow through on that threat, you only said it because you were upset, and she'll see that eventually, too.' Ressler shook his head slowly in disbelief.  
'You know, I forget sometimes that as a profiler, you read us all like open books.' Liz let out a tiny grin.  
'It doesn't help that we don't talk so much anymore.' Ressler dropped his gaze; it was true. After the taskforce fell apart while Liz was on the run, they had eventually come back together, but not in the same way. Liz and Samar had naturally bonded over their shared pregnancy stress, and Ressler had found himself on the outer while Liz was caught in the middle between him and Samar.   
'Are you ok now though?' He suddenly asked, 'I know you were having a rough time for a while...' Ressler shifted awkwardly in his seat barely a second later; just like Samar, he wasn't usually one to talk about feelings, and he had no idea how to try and talk to his former partner about personal things again after having hunted her down for so long. Nonetheless, Liz let out a soft smile all the same.   
'Some days still aren't great, but I’m getting there.' She nodded earnestly in an attempt to reassure him, 'Samar and Aram have been keeping an eye on me.' They both paused in a moment of awkward silence, Ressler nodding gladly at the knowledge that she was more or less coping despite everything that had happened, and both of them then glancing warily over their shoulders as Aram began to stir not far behind them. 'Don't give up on Leila, or the idea of finding a compromise with Samar either,' Liz added quietly, but no less emphatically, 'just don't push her the wrong way. All she does then is push straight back, just like you... And she has her own history that drives her, too. You two are more alike than you think, sometimes.'   
'I'll take your word for it,' Ressler chuckled back, though he gave her an appreciative nod all the same, 'but thanks.'  

/*/*/*/*

Liz headed straight for the break room as she and Samar exited the elevator and returned to the war room after using the showers in the gym downstairs. Samar meanwhile, headed for the workstations to let Aram and Ressler know it was their turn to go downstairs and do the same... But as she approached, and eyed Aram absentmindedly chattering away to Leila in her carrier while he was otherwise intently focused on his computer, Samar tilted her head curiously. She paused for a second, before turning and taking the long way around from the elevator so she could peek over his shoulder again...

...She managed to get just close enough to note that what Aram was looking at now was a comparison of flight prices, before he happened to turn and spot her –and then quickly close the browser window once more. Aram grinned at the mildly annoyed, and desperately curious expression on her face, before silently rising from his seat and scurrying towards the elevator. Samar picked up Leila from her carrier, and glared suspiciously at Aram's computer for a second longer before returning her gaze to the happily gurgling baby in her arms.  

'You know that I know he's told you what he's up to, right?' She mused out loud, and Leila simply cooed and waved her tiny fists around in response. Samar sighed, and forced herself to put her curiosities regarding whatever surprise Aram was clearly planning, to the back of her mind. She still had her prank on Liz to focus on...

...And it wasn't long until the prank in question, finally paid off.  

/*/*/*/*

'Nooooo!' Aram's voice rang out from the break room not long after his return from downstairs, suddenly jolting Samar from her internal musings. She hurried across the war room just two steps behind Ressler, poking her head around the break room door to see Aram standing, utterly dejected, with a granola bar wrapper crumpled in his hand and a pile of the small, paper salt sachets that were normally kept on the counter, suddenly scattered across the floor.   
'Uhh...' Ressler began, completely confused, 'what's wrong?'   
'First someone pokes holes in Samar's gym mat, now someone's stolen my granola bar... The bandit's back!' Aram wailed in response. Ressler rolled his eyes; he had thought Aram's constant moaning about a prankster nicknamed 'The Post Office Bandit' would be over by now –not to mention, he wasn't overly sympathetic at the moment either. Liz shrugged nonchalantly, trying to hold back a snicker, as she happily bit into her own granola bar –which given the circumstances, was her only real breakfast before they all went home for the weekend. Samar remained quiet, determined not to let her sudden dismay show on her face.

In fumbling through the pitch black darkness of the war room at night in an effort to play a prank on Liz without waking up everyone else by turning on the lights, it seemed Samar had targeted the wrong lunchbox.

With the lights on, it was obvious whose lunchbox was whose; though Liz and Aram's lunchboxes sat side by side on the counter, they were completely different. The only similarity was the approximate shape and size, and Samar had relied on her memory of how they were all laid out on the counter to figure out which one was Liz's when she discreetly snuck into the room during the night, opened one end of a granola bar wrapper, removed the bar itself, and refilled the wrapper with the salt sachets and a small ransom note written in the less conspicuous lighting of the bathroom, before returning it to its lunchbox. Aram turned his attention to the scrunched up ransom note and read aloud the words scrawled so hurriedly that none of them recognised the handwriting;  
'If you want your breakfast back, payment will be accepted in the form of a candy bar from the vending machine or the equal value in cash. Leave it on the cleared table for collection later.' Aram let out a sigh to himself, and Ressler couldn't hold it in any longer.  
'Don't sound so miserable now that it's gone full circle; you put salt in my coffee yesterday!' He grumbled. Aram looked back at him in shock.  
'No he didn't,' said Liz hurriedly. 'Aram didn't touch the coffees at all until I asked him to hand them all out.' Aram nodded adamantly in agreement, and Ressler's eyes went wide; _so, not only had he accidentally poked holes in Samar's mat instead, but he had been targeting the wrong person too?_  
'You...' He began, staring at Liz in utter disbelief, ' _you_ pranked me?'  
'Do I look to you like someone immature enough to play the salt in the sugar shakers trick?' She huffed. 'Ressler, if I pranked you, it would have had far more finesse than that.'   
'But then how did salt end up in Ressler's coffee?' Samar piped up, and the man in question promptly turned to raise one eyebrow at her, 'hey, don't look at me, I was out in the war room with _you_ the whole time.'  
'It's easy,' Aram muttered, before quickly pointing at the two matching ceramic dishes on the counter that held the nearly identical sachets of salt and sugar, 'the sachets keep falling into the wrong dish. Liz, you probably just picked up the wrong one when you made the coffees and didn't even notice.'  
'Ok, that's true,' she admitted warily. 'But then, who poked holes in Samar's mat?'  
'I thought _you_ did,' Samar answered, furrowing her brow in annoyance.   
' _Me?_ _'_ Liz asked incredulously. 'Well, I guess that prank _did_ have a little more finesse, but it wasn't me.' Ressler awkwardly cleared his throat, bringing everyone's attention back to him.   
'Uhh, that one was me.' He took one glance at the look on Samar's face before hurriedly -and guiltily- speaking up again; 'but before you rip my head off, I was trying to get Aram back for putting salt in my coffee... Which, you know, he apparently didn't do after all...' Samar eyed him suspiciously for a moment longer, before shrugging it off without a word. Her gaze met Aram's once more, and he raised a half-amused, but half still annoyed eyebrow, now understanding exactly what had happened.  
'So... If you thought it was Liz who poked holes in your gym mat, and she still has _her_ granola bar... Where's mine?' Samar shrugged sheepishly before gesturing at the small fridge in the corner of the break room;  
'It's in there,' she said simply. Aram turned and opened the door, letting out a relieved sigh as he noted it sitting right at the front of the top shelf, and then promptly began wolfing it down. Satisfied that the ridiculous cycle was complete, Ressler rolled his eyes again and stepped back out of the doorway to return to the war room, muttering to himself about prank bandits and snowstorms and something about them being a bad combination. A moment later Aram turned back to face the rest of the group once again, still eyeing Samar with a touch of suspicion.  
'And to think I was planning a surprise for our anniversary,' he muttered drolly.   
'Hey, I was aiming for _Liz_ ,' Samar shot back, albeit only half-heartedly. 'At least you missed out on the squeaking mat...' She added a second later, under her breath. Samar too, then stepped back out of the doorway, only for Aram and Liz to follow right on her heels.  

The war room had been returned to its usual layout, and all furniture borrowed from downstairs had been returned to its rightful place. Aram had checked the traffic report to make sure the roads were clear again, the weather report to make sure the break in the storm would last long enough for them all to get home, and of course, the city power grid to make sure that they would have enough lighting and heating once they got there. All was clear. They could all go home.

They had survived the night all cooped up together with nothing but bad break room food and gym mats. Somehow, they had managed to work together to solve their collective dilemmas despite the tension lingering in the air.

Liz slowed in pace as they all headed for the elevator to leave, observing the three colleagues ahead of her with both hope, and a touch of amusement. There had been no arguments, and both Ressler and Samar seemed far less hostile towards each other after being stuck together all night.  

Slowly but surely, they all rode the elevator down to the basement -bickering the entire way as they did so- until the group suddenly split in different directions as they all made their way to their respective cars. One by one, they left... And Liz couldn’t help but notice Samar and Ressler share a look that wasn't quite friendly, but it was at the very least wistful... And perhaps even hopeful. She hadn't breathed a word to Samar of Ressler's brief conversation with her or with Leila, but nonetheless she let out a soft smile. Perhaps a snowstorm was all she needed to subtly sort out the two most frustrating, eager-to-sort-themselves-out-instead, members of her team after all...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up; the latest Blacklist case goes wrong, leaving Ressler in a rather precarious predicament, in 'Misdirect'.


	44. Misdirect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Wednesday, January 18, 2017.
> 
> Warning for canon-typical violence.

Yellow caution tape cordoned off the entire area around the bank. FBI agents and Metro PD officers lined the border watching the happenings inside... Watching, and waiting. Ressler stood amongst them, the lead agent on site after Reddington had warned them during their latest case that this would happen. Aram, Liz and Samar observed what was happening on the monitors inside the covert Bureau van parked not far behind him.

They had arrived on site just two minutes too late to see their latest Blacklister walk into the bank, lock the doors behind him, and fire a semi-automatic weapon into the air.

'The Ghost' was the name Reddington had used to refer to him; he was a cunning, patient man, and an expert in organising bank heists the whole world over. So named due to his tendency to sneak in, steal whatever he was hired to steal –whether it be cash from within basement safes, or valuables from safety deposit boxes- leave before anyone realised he was there, and never be caught on camera in the process, The Ghost had suddenly appeared on Reddington's radar when he was hired by a business competitor. To be specific, he had been tasked with whisking away a few Swiss bearer bonds that Reddington kept hidden in a bank in Peru. Why Peru of all places, was a question that Ressler had asked right at the start of the case. Reddington had simply responded that he'd had a fondness for Paddington Bear as a child, and he liked the idea of keeping something in a bank in 'deepest, darkest Peru'.  

After that, the team gave up asking him to make sense of anything else in the case.

The point was, The Ghost didn't quite realise what he was getting himself into, nor the full resources Reddington really possessed... And so now he was desperate. The taskforce, and Reddington's associates combined, had identified him, and frozen most of his assets to try and draw him out. The latter was a move Reddington had warned them against, sagely observing that it would only lead to The Ghost launching an attack on his most comfortable habitats to quickly pilfer new resources and make an escape, but both Cooper and Ressler had overruled him.

And yet, now here they were.

The Ghost had some forty seven people laying on the floor in the bank, faces down and hands behind their heads. He had threatened to shoot one every twenty minutes until he was granted safe passage to a helicopter, and in the meantime he had his crew scavenging the safety deposit boxes downstairs. Meanwhile, all the team could do was hope that the SWAT team would arrive before those first twenty minutes were up.

Ressler glanced anxiously at his watch, counting down the minutes. Seventeen had already passed, and SWAT was nowhere in sight. His phone rang, suddenly jolting Ressler's attention away from the countdown, and his eyes skimmed over the latest text message that had just come through; the SWAT team were stuck at another incident and they weren't going to get there in time. Back in the van, the same message had just buzzed through to Aram, who was now frantically contacting everyone he could think of to find another team that was close by and otherwise unoccupied... Until Liz's voice had his attention swing in full force back to the monitor and Aram froze in disbelief.  
'What the hell does he think he's doing?' Samar blurted out, in response to Liz's shocked demand that they take a look. All three of them warily eyed the monitor, now showing Ressler with his hands in the air, his weapon left far behind him on the hood of a Metro PD car, and steadily walking towards the bank's front entrance.

The Ghost turned on the spot as Ressler walked through those front doors, angrily pointing the semi-automatic straight towards him.   
'Are you trying to get _everyone_ here killed, agent?' The Ghost growled.  
'No actually, I'm trying to make sure nobody here is killed today.' Ressler's voice was calm and level, despite the heart pounding in his chest.  
'You've got a funny way of showing it.' The Ghost, with his eyes still firmly directed at Ressler, daring him to take one step closer, shifted his weapon so it now pointed at an elderly man on the floor just a few feet away.   
'Hold on,' Ressler hurriedly began, 'before you shoot him, take a second to think about what you're doing.'  
'What I'm _doing?'_ The Ghost spat back, 'I know what I'm doing. My employer screwed me over; he didn't tell me I was targeting one of the world's most wanted fugitives, and now my business is _ruined_. I'm getting out of here.' Ressler forced himself to hold back a smirk.   
'No you're not. Not if you kill any of these innocent people on the floor. The second you do, you'll be on most wanted posters across the country for all your heists, and the entire city will be locked down to stop you getting out. I know it can happen, I've seen it before. You won't get away.' Ressler's slow, but no less emphatic words hung in the air for a second... And then The Ghost suddenly turned at a pace far quicker than Ressler who have expected for a man in his sixties, and furiously pointed his weapon back at him. The Ghost's chiselled features covered in a fine layer of salt and pepper stubble, and his crooked teeth that were yellowed with age, contorted into a menacing scowl.   
'Then maybe I'll just shoot _you_ instead, if you want to be a smartass,' he sneered. 'I was robbing banks before you even knew what a bank heist _was_.'  
'You really think that'll help you?' Ressler asked, using everything he had to maintain his cool sense of composure; 'killing a federal agent instead?' The Ghost frowned bitterly, knowing Ressler had a point, and Ressler took that as his cue to begin trying to talk him down; 'you're a thief, and a skilled one at that. You've never had to kill or use any kind of violence before to get what you wanted before. You're not a killer, so why start now? Give us more time, and you'll get what you want without having to hurt anyone.' Ressler paused, allowing that to sink in... Only for The Ghost's expression to change to one of shrewd contemplation. Ressler's heart skipped a beat; that wasn't the expression he was expecting. If anything, The Ghost seemed to suddenly think he had the upper hand, and Ressler didn't like that one bit.   
'Fine,' The Ghost snarled back. 'You can have another ten minutes, but I'm upping my price. It's _you_. You don't want me shooting an innocent civilian, then fine. But I'll shoot _you_ instead.'

Back in the van outside, Aram, Liz and Samar's faces all crumpled. There was no way this was going to get better any time soon.

'Ressler, we're not going to get authorisation to give him safe passage to a helicopter and even if we do, it's not going to be set up in time,' Liz's voice rang in Ressler's ear through the comms.   
'The SWAT team need more than ten more minutes to get there, and there aren't any other teams in the area either,' Aram hurriedly added.  
'Of course, The Ghost picks a time and place where SWAT can't get to him,' Liz muttered bitterly under her breath so Ressler couldn't hear her. Samar glanced back at her, one wry eyebrow raised.   
'You think he did that on purpose?' Liz nodded.  
'Reddington did say he was smart. What if he set up the other incident just beforehand to redirect them?' Samar simply shrugged in response to Aram's suggestion.   
'That what if isn't going to help us now,' she sighed. Samar quickly rose from her seat and turned to face the van's inner wall behind her, gazing for a second at the array of weaponry, communications tech, and other assorted items stored on its shelves. In a flash, she pulled down a sniper rifle and partly assembled it, before turning again –and this time, for the van's rear doors. Liz simply observed in silence, understanding exactly what was happening and not at all interested in stopping her, but Aram turned in his seat and his eyes widened in horror.  
'Wait, what are you doing?' He gasped. Samar glanced back at him over her shoulder as she kicked open the door.  
'There are six _children_ in that bank, and he refused to let them out as a sign of good faith,' she said with a scowl even more fierce than The Ghost's, 'if SWAT isn’t going to take this scum down, I will.' Aram rose from his own seat, lurching towards her as Samar stepped off the back edge of the van and onto the road.  
'Samar, _wait_ -' he exclaimed, but it was too late. Samar was already hurrying down the street towards buildings across from the bank.

/*/*/*/*

The Ghost paced back and forth across the bank interior, but without taking his eye off Ressler for a second. Ressler remained standing as still as a statue, his own eyes equally focused on The Ghost's. There was a clock on the wall not far from them, and though in the usual busyness of a bank day it wouldn't be heard by anyone, in the current eerie silence of civilians on the floor trying not to get themselves shot, Ressler could hear every single tick of a second passing over. Every so often he could hear Aram's updates on the SWAT team's progress -or lack thereof- in his ear too, but otherwise there was nothing but that ticking noise that felt like a particularly unpleasant drumbeat drilling through his brain.  

Neither Aram, nor Liz, nor even Samar herself, had breathed a word over the comms of what she was doing.  

Samar meanwhile, as Ressler could do nothing but count every tick as he traced The Ghost's silent footsteps, raced up the back stairwell of the building across the street. Two uniformed Metro PD officers were quick on her heels, having spotted her leaving the van, understanding what she was doing, and wanting to help her get to her destination as fast and unimpeded as possible. Neither of them had been authorised by their superiors to follow her, but to be quite honest, they hadn't asked. They simply saw her lack of uniform, but nonetheless flash of gold badge that shone in the sunlight, and knew that if anyone else saw her running through a building with a sniper rifle and tried to stop her, it would cut down on the precious time they already had so very little of. Samar continued to run; no matter how fit she still was despite the limited physical activity of her recovery from injury, some seven flights of stairs at a sprint while carrying a heavy weapon had her breathing heavily by the time she got to the top, but nonetheless she got there. With a grunt, she kicked open the door to the roof and marched out onto the rooftop, ignoring the pain in her chest as she caught her breath.

Really, such a run didn't fall under the use of 'common sense' ordered by her doctor but then again, such a run wasn't one Samar was tested for when the Bureau signed off on her medical evaluation to allow her back into the field.  

Samar crouched down on the rooftop, and began to set up her rifle. She paused only for the split second it took to glance at her watch; between the brief discussion in the van, and the run to the top of the building, she only had three minutes left...

/*/*/*/*

The ticking of the clock continued to count down. The SWAT team still wasn't on site. The Ghost eyed the clock just as Ressler did, but in his case there was a smug smile on his face.  

On the rooftop across the street, Samar narrowed her eyes as she gazed through the scope, waiting for The Ghost to come into view at _just_ the right angle.

'Requesting authorisation to fire when ready, Director,' she murmured through the comms, her voice eerily calm and steady. Samar was focused as she too, tracked The Ghost's every movement. Ressler tried desperately not to allow a shred of surprise to cross his face as he heard her voice. He had no idea what was going on outside. As far as Ressler knew, at this point there was no way he was going to get out of that bank alive.  

A breath caught in Ressler's throat as the clock struck the final minute.

The Ghost stopped pacing and turned to face him, decidedly unimpressed.  
'Where's my ride to my helicopter, agent?' He demanded, 'you've got forty five seconds left.'  
'I'm sure it's on its way,' was all Ressler could breathe in response. He closed and opened his eyes ever so slowly, trying to make peace with the fact that at the very least, all the other people in the bank would get out, unhurt... That he would be the only one to die there that day. To serve and to protect the people; that was all Ressler had ever really sought to do, and he had done that -and so much more.  

A few more seconds ticked past. The hairs on Ressler's neck began to prickle as The Ghost -still just far enough away that Ressler couldn't lurch forward to tackle him to the ground without being shot- lowered his semi-automatic, and unholstered his handgun, raising it to Ressler's chest.

Another breath caught in Ressler's throat...

 _Tick... Tick... Tick..._  

'Authorisation granted,' Cooper's voice echoed through the comms, 'fire at will.' Ressler's eyes snapped open again in shock... And before he even had a split second to process what he had just heard, before he even had a split second to register that The Ghost had taken another step forward and begun to wrap his finger around the trigger, two loud shots rang out.

That one further step forward at the last second was all Samar had needed to have The Ghost firmly within her sights, and fire just as he did.

Ressler fell to his knees in shock as Samar's bullet whizzed straight past his ear and sent The Ghost crumpling to the ground, his own bullet flying slightly sideways and grazing Ressler's arm instead of his chest before it impacted into the wall behind him. The people in the bank screamed as Liz led the other agents and the Metro PD officers bursting into the building. Ressler's gaze panned the room, his mind spinning as Liz and the others calmed the scene. The shock suddenly began to wear off, and Ressler clutched at the bleeding, burning sensation on the side of his arm; the deep graze that would probably need a few stitches, but _could_ have been so much worse.  

'What happened to the SWAT team not getting here on time?' He finally gasped. Across the street, Samar sat up straight again, and let out a wry smile.  
'They underestimated how fast I could run,' she murmured back, quite simply. Ressler breathed a sigh of relief, turning on the spot to try and peer through the heavy glass doors to see where she was.  
'Jeez, Navabi,' he groaned, spying the top of her silhouette in the distance as she jogged back across the roof towards the stairwell. 'You're going to be the death of me one day.' Samar tried earnestly to hold back a chuckle.  
'Yeah maybe, but not today.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up: 'Discovery'. All I'll say is, have a think back to the hints I dropped about Ressler's mother... Especially those in Chapter 27. :)


	45. Discovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Friday-Monday, January 20-23, 2017.
> 
> Warning for a brief argument that includes some potentially controversial prejudices.

**_FRIDAY EVENING..._ **

Ressler walked straight through the front door of his apartment, absolutely exhausted after yet another long day on what felt like a trivial case Reddington was using to send them all on a wild goose chase while he reassessed his business standings right under their noses. Ressler hadn't slept well in the two nights since that close call at the bank, and it was starting to have an effect. Needless to say, he was glad it was Friday, and that he had an entire weekend ahead of him to try and wrap his head around what happened and catch up on some sleep.  

He took a few more steps into the apartment from the front door, well and truly ready to throw down his jacket and his backpack, and collapse onto the couch, when all of a sudden, he froze.

There was a noise in the kitchen. Someone was already in the apartment.  

Hand on his hip, ready to draw his weapon if need be, Ressler crept around the corner of the living room, poked his head around the kitchen wall, then let out a breath of simultaneous frustration and relief.  
'Mom, when I gave you the spare key I told you; it's only for _emergencies_ ,' he sighed. His mother turned away from the fridge and glanced at him, unimpressed. Ressler shifted awkwardly on the spot as he took in the stern glare down through those thick rimmed glasses perched halfway along his mother's nose; that stern glare she reserved exclusively for people she didn't like –of which, there were many- or any time she deemed him to have misbehaved. No matter the fact that Ressler was a fully grown adult, that look still made him as uncomfortable as it did when he was little.   
'Does you nearly being killed in a bank heist gone wrong not count as an emergency?' She scoffed. 'I saw it on the news yesterday and spent all day driving up here. A phone call would have been nice.'  
'I didn't want to worry you,' Ressler muttered back, his eyes dropping to the floor. Of course, it was far from the only time he had nearly died on a case, but it was one of the few that at least partly made it onto mainstream media enough for his mother to connect it to him.   
'Look at me properly when you speak,' his mother snapped. Ressler promptly did so, his eyes rising to meet hers. The expression on her face remained fierce and Ressler couldn't help but wonder why; not calling after the bank heist was one thing, but she usually would have let that go once she could see he was ok. His mother locked eyes with him, staring silently for a moment, before holding up a photo Ressler was all too familiar with...

...A photo that usually sat proudly front and centre on the fridge door, but that Ressler would have moved if he knew his mother was stopping by.

It was a photo of Leila, taken over the holidays as she sat happily squealing next to a newly built snowman, and texted to him by Samar not long afterwards.  

Ressler's mother held up the photo, daring him to deny the truth. Despite having visited his mother over Christmas, Ressler _still_ hadn't told her about Leila; at that point he still hadn't known for sure whether or not he was going to ask Samar if he could be a part of Leila's life again.  
'Who's this?' She asked, her voice deathly quiet, the anger clearly simmering within. Ressler paused for a second too long, desperately trying to think of the best way to answer.  
'She's one of my co-worker's kids,' he replied flatly. _Well technically, that wasn't a lie._ 'We're a close knit team so when she gave me the photo, I just stuck it on the fridge and then I didn't get around to putting it away.' Technically, that wasn't a lie either, or at least Ressler kept trying to convince himself so. His mother stared back at him, her teeth gritted and her brow furrowed, demanding and waiting for the truth. Ressler let out a sigh, and gestured for his mother to step into the living room and sit down so he could explain the whole story. She did so, brushing past him as she gruffly strode out of the kitchen, Ressler trailing wearily behind.

...So much for that relaxing weekend.

/*/*/*/*

**_MONDAY MORNING..._ **

Ressler had never been so glad to leave his apartment and go to the Post Office. He had spent the entire weekend trying to ease his mother's anger over the fact that not _only_ did he have a child in a rather awkward situation that she didn't approve of, but that he also hadn't told her about it when Leila was now just shy of five months old already. Apparently, it did not occur to her that those two concepts may or may not be related. Ressler let out another sigh as he rode the elevator from the car park in the basement up to the war room –quite possibly his thousandth sigh in two and half days. With his mother insisting on sticking around throughout the weekend and scowling at every turn, Ressler still hadn't managed to catch up on sleep. It was all just too stressful.

Ressler's father, though strong and determined in his principles, had always been the affectionate, proud, loving father and for that matter, Ressler's hero. His father was the one who had taught him to ride a bike and play football, who had built him a treehouse, and who had taken him camping any time he could. By contrast, Ressler's mother had always been the fierce one, the one who clearly loved him just as much, but was far from the huggy type... And once his father had died, Ressler's mother had only become all the more bitter, turning to alcohol until Ressler was forced to stand up to her and stage an intervention. To this day, they clung to each other out of respect for some small town idea of what family was supposed to mean, but it wasn't an overly affectionate relationship. There was a reason why Ressler was the way he was; proud and forever dedicated, but still somewhat detached.

Needless to say, his mother's surprise arrival and subsequent discovery did little to help ease the strain.

Those elevator doors rumbled open in his face, and Ressler stepped out into the war room. He gazed around the room, searching for Samar. Yet again, they would have to have a potentially uneasy conversation. She stood, Leila still nestled comfortably in her arms, next to Aram's desk, smiling quite contentedly about something he was showing her on his computer. Ressler took a breath, and then walked straight towards them, stopping just at the edge of the desk.  
'Hey,' he greeted them, as casually as he could muster. Samar's gaze rose slowly to meet his, wary of his uneasy demeanour when they still didn’t have a clear resolution in regards to the discussion had in his office some two and a half weeks earlier.   
'Good morning,' she replied, her voice perfectly civil but nowhere close to being described as 'warm'. Ressler shifted awkwardly on his feet, cautious of Aram's presence.  
'Uh, we may have a small problem,' he murmured. Samar raised an eyebrow.  
'Just the one?' Ressler paused, and Samar instantly understood that this was an entirely different problem altogether.  
'My mother is in town.'   
'And?'  
'I hadn't told her about Leila.' Samar's face crumpled, as did Aram's next to her; _oh_... For a moment, Samar was torn; on one hand it only furthered her idea that Ressler wasn't really the most stable option as far as Leila's legal parents were concerned but on the other hand, it stung. Samar was offended by the thought that Ressler would have hidden Leila's existence from his mother, almost as if she wasn't good enough for them. She scowled at the very idea; it wasn't as if they were shouting Leila's parentage from the rooftops, but they weren't exactly lying about it when asked either –or at least, so Samar had thought. 'It's not what you think,' Ressler hurriedly added, as he took in the unimpressed looks on both Samar and Aram's faces; 'my mom is...' Ressler paused and glanced at Aram, 'well, she's not really like your parents. She's nowhere near as open-minded. In fact, she's a lot more old fashioned about, well.. Everything. At the start I figured that if I wasn't going to be a part of Leila's life then there was no point in making some big announcement, because Mom wouldn't take it well. I wanted to protect Leila from that.' Silence fell amongst the group for a moment, as Samar in particular processed that overload of information. She could at least, understand the dilemma of family disapproval; she had witnessed all too much of it herself back home within her friends' families.  

She met Ressler's gaze again, and gave him a look that was hard to read; not quite a friendly smile, but nonetheless understanding and far from hostile. Protecting Leila was one thing she would never fail to understand.

'What can I do?' She asked quietly.   
'Well you see, that's the thing,' Ressler began, 'Mom wants to meet Leila and by extension, I guess you as well.' Samar pursed her lips, considering the idea. 'But when I say she's old fashioned about everything, I mean it...' He trailed off and Samar raised an eyebrow.  
'So you mean... It was a one night thing, we're not married, you initially walked away, and...' Samar trailed off herself, searching for the most diplomatic turn of phrase; 'we're not exactly from similar cultural backgrounds?' Ressler winced.  
'Yes, to all of the above,' he sighed bitterly. 'Not that I share her views at all, but... She comes from a long line of those born and raised in a very small town. I'm not confident that she'll be overly kind if she _was_ to meet you both, but she's insisting. It's up to you; if you want to shield Leila from that, I wouldn't blame you.' Samar finally allowed herself to let out the tiniest of smiles. If Ressler could be considerate in this case, she could brace herself for the idea that if he was to be a part of Leila's life again, his mother was something she would have to learn to deal with.   
'I'll meet her _once_ ,' Samar conceded, albeit no less emphatically when it came to that final word, 'and then we'll see how it goes. No more than that if she's unpleasant.' Ressler allowed himself a tiny smile back; that was fair, and far more than he had expected her to agree to. Perhaps, once again, they were back to doing that delicate dance of placating each other to avoid further arguments... Or perhaps there was a newfound level of respect for one another again now that they had both calmed down –and remembered just how close they had each come to losing their lives recently if not for the other.

But for the moment, neither of them really cared _which_ in particular was the case.

...Too much hung in the balance if they did.

/*/*/*/*

**_MONDAY EVENING..._ **

Samar took a deep breath as she knocked on Ressler's front door, Leila held closely in her arms. Ressler opened it nearly a nanosecond later, clearly having been waiting for her. He shot her a half grimace, half smile, both sympathetic and grateful for what she was about to walk herself straight into. Ressler gestured for Samar to step inside and she did so, as Ressler closed the door behind her. Samar panned her gaze around the apartment she had barely seen since the night that had led to the entire mess they now found themselves in, a deliberately neutral but no less steely expression etched across her face as she silently took it all in.  

Ressler's mother stood from her place on the couch as Samar walked into the living room.  

All three faces remained unimpressed.

'Mom,' Ressler began, determined to keep things calm, 'this is Samar and Leila.' Samar gave a brief nod, and tried to force a smile –emphasis on _tried_. Samar didn't particularly want to know what it looked like in reality. Ressler turned to face her again; 'Samar, this is my mom, Nancy.' Ressler's mother gave an equally brief nod, but notably didn't return the favour of trying to force a smile. Instead, she gazed back at Samar with that same stern glare down her nose and through her glasses that she had fired in Ressler's own direction all weekend. Ressler paused, not sure what to say next; all his mother had said was that she wanted to meet Leila and well, that was now pretty much covered. Nancy remained standing still, observing them all, and not at all reaching forward in any kind of gesture to hold Leila –not that Samar had _any_ complaints about being able to keep holding Leila herself.  

An anxious pit began to dig itself in Ressler's stomach as it occurred to him that perhaps his mother didn't want to 'meet' Leila to get to know her but rather, simply to ease some twisted kind of curiosity about the child she most certainly did not approve of.  

It was an awful train wreck waiting to happen.

'So...' Nancy began, the obvious distaste dripping from her voice, and making Ressler desperately resist the urge to roll his eyes, ' _this_ is my granddaughter?'  
'Yes,' Ressler answered, and rather emphatically as his patience quickly waned, 'and her name is _Leila_.'  
'Leila...' Nancy rolled the name off her tongue, almost as if testing how it sounded when she said it out loud. She turned her gaze back to Ressler once more; 'the granddaughter who was not only _unplanned_ -' she scowled at Ressler, '-but now you can't even figure out how to take responsibility for, Donald?'  
'It's not like that,' Samar interjected sharply. She and Ressler exchanged a look; _who could have thought that they would be on the same side of a conflict at the moment?_ And yet, nonetheless, there they were. Samar sighed; Ressler hadn't been kidding when he explained the situation. In fact, to a certain degree, she even felt a little sorry for him.   
'Oh?' Nancy redirected her fierce gaze towards Samar, 'what is it like, then?' Samar paused for a second, steadying herself.  
'We're figuring out what's best for her,' she replied, her tone firm, but still as polite as she could muster under the circumstances.   
'I see what you mean about her being a hostile woman-' Nancy observed, not taking her eye off Samar for a single moment.  
'-the word I used was _strong_ ,' Ressler corrected her. Samar shifted uncomfortably, biting her tongue to hold back the words she would have loved to fire off in response, as Nancy then turned back to Ressler and continued in her indignant musings.  
'-and _you_ , how could you be so pathetic? Unable to keep it in your pants just because you had a moment of feeling sorry for yourself? I thought I raised you better!'   
' _Hey_ ,' Samar warningly burst out, but Nancy ignored her as well. Nancy's voice rose, just as Leila began to fuss in Samar's arms –distressed by the tension around her.  
'-And _then_ ,' Nancy continued, and Ressler gave up all pretence of patience with her, 'you let her take advantage of you, and run off with your child and some _other_ man and _his_ parents-' Leila interrupted with a sudden, loud, and angry cry of her own. Without even stopping to think for a second, Ressler lurched forwards to take Leila from Samar and try to settle her himself. It occurred to nobody in the room –at least in that moment- that it was the first time he had even tried to hold her since the day she was born. The rising volume of the argument around her was clearly upsetting Leila, and Ressler's protective instincts simply kicked in. Samar didn't even flinch as Ressler ignored his mother and focused on Leila instead, all the while Nancy persisted in her tirade; 'not that I would really expect anything other than that kind of uncivilised behaviour from a woman like _you._ '  

Ressler’s head snapped up in fury. Samar’s jaw dropped in a confused, but no less speechless rage  all of her own. _A woman like her? What did that even mean?_ A strong, modern, independent woman, perhaps? An unmarried mother? A Middle-Eastern woman? A woman who wasn’t afraid to make a career for herself working on some of the FBI’s toughest cases? Nancy’s implication was an insult no matter what she meant though, so Samar didn’t really care which it was. Ressler on the other hand, knew his mother better and made an instant assumption.

'Get out,' he quietly seethed. His mother turned to stare at him, one eyebrow raised in disgust.  
'Excuse me?'  
'Get. Out.' Ressler's voice rose louder this time. 'Now.' There was a pause; Ressler locked eyes with his mother over Leila still clutched protectively to his chest. Ressler's mother muttered furiously under her breath and stormed out of the room. All of five minutes later she stormed back past them, all the things she had brought with her now hurriedly stuffed back in her suitcase, before marching out the front door and slamming it behind her.  

'I’m sorry...' Ressler eventually spoke up again, once the door slam was done echoing in both their ears.  
'Don't apologise for her,' Samar snapped, still hurt by the comments. 'She clearly meant what she said.' Ressler shook his head.  
'No, I mean I'm sorry for the fact you had to experience that.'  
'Oh...' Samar faltered for a second. 'It's ok. Well, it's _not_ really, but... It's not the first time, and I doubt it'll be the last. I'll survive.'  
'You know I don't agree with what she said, right? Not one word.'  
'I know.' Ressler shook his head again in frustration as he continued to cradle Leila in his arms.  
'I'll turn a blind eye to a lot of the things she says and does but...' He trailed off for a split second, stubbornly gritting his teeth. 'I draw the line there, at her older, small town prejudices.' He paused again, glancing thoughtfully at Leila and gently tousling her hair. 'Even more so now, I guess.' Samar gave a wry smile.   
'All because she's half Persian?'  
'Yeah, something like that...' Samar tried earnestly to hold back a smirk.  
'You wouldn't know it from looking at her, not unless I was there with her,' she observed, before glancing contemplatively back to Ressler. 'You're so fair, Leila's not _quite_ as dark as I am. She's more olive than anything else.' Ressler's gaze remained focused intently on Leila still squirming unhappily.  
'She's beautiful, just the way she is,' he mused quietly.  
'She's a good mix of us, actually.' Samar eyed Leila's hazel eyes and the dark mahogany hair that was just beginning to form tiny ringlets around the top of her neck; the perfectly balanced mix of her own dark hair and eyes and Ressler's strawberry blonde and baby blues.   
'You think?' Ressler's eyes finally snapped back to hers, 'I think she looks like you.'  
'Everyone keeps telling me that,' Samar chuckled, and in a certain way it was true; colouring aside, Leila's general features were mostly more like her own than Ressler's... _Mostly_. 'But I have _no_ idea where those ears came from. Nobody in my family had ears that stuck out like that.'  
'Oh...' Ressler let out a sheepish grin as he took another quick glance at Leila; 'yeah ok, that's a Ressler thing.'  
'I was wondering about that,' Samar gasped in mock horror, 'but, your ears don't stick out, so how is that a Ressler thing?'  
'They did when I was little. I looked like Dumbo the Elephant...' Ressler rolled his eyes at the memory of disappointment when he was old enough to realise that his ears were never going to help him fly, and Samar tried to hold back a laugh. 'But I grew into them eventually. Leila will too, I swear!'  
'I hope so.' Samar paused, taking a moment to eye the way Ressler was still trying to soothe Leila's cries, 'and maybe, don't bounce her _quite_ so much.' Ressler furrowed his brow in confusion.  
'Huh?'  
'If you keep bouncing her like that, she'll probably spi-' Samar apparently did not speak soon enough; her warning being cut off by Leila promptly leaving a rather foul-smelling puddle all down Ressler's shirt. Needless to say, he very hurriedly recoiled.  
'-Spit up on me?' He finished the sentence for her.  
'...Yeah...' Samar bit her lip before breaking into a guilty grin. 'Where do you keep your towels? I'll get you one, hang on.'  
'Uh, they're in the cupboard down the hall.'  
'Right,' Samar followed his gaze and quickly ran down the hall and back again a moment later, holding out a towel. 'Here,' she said, handing it to him. They swapped towel for baby, as Ressler wiped the small splattering of baby puke from his face, then handed the towel back to Samar as well just in case Leila wasn't quite done with her projectiles.   
'Ok, now I think I should probably change my shirt,' Ressler muttered to himself, and Samar nodded her rather emphatic agreement. He darted across the room in the same general direction Samar had just moments earlier, to his room and then returned once more, finally in a fresh shirt.

With a touch of hesitation, Samar reached forwards to hand Leila back to him. Ressler took her gingerly, wary of any further spit up incidents.

'Try walking around the room in circles with her, instead of bouncing her on the spot,' Samar suggested, her tone much gentler this time. 'She usually likes that better.' Ressler did so, walking slow laps around the living room until Leila's wails eased off and she stopped fussing against his shoulder.   
'You still want Aram to adopt her, don't you...' He asked, his voice barely breaking the silence. Samar took a breath, then nodded slowly but adamantly.   
'Yes, I do... And I'm not going to change my mind on that.' Ressler sighed miserably; he didn't want to be the spiteful ass and go through with his threat. He had only made that threat in the heat of the moment, and he was fairly sure that by now, Samar had figured that out for herself too if Liz hadn't told her already... But he also knew that now he had said it –whether he meant it or not- if he didn’t take that step, Samar would have Aram adopt Leila the second he could, just in case... And no matter how much Ressler agreed that Leila needed a second legal guardian for safety's sake, still didn't want _that_ very particular outcome.  
'Then why are you helping me right now?' He glanced back at her, curious and wistful in the bittersweetness of the discussion about the little girl right there in his arms.  
'Because it's up to you now,' Samar sighed, essentially echoing everything Ressler was just thinking. It hurt that she honestly seemed to think that he would really make that spiteful move if push came to shove, but Samar continued; 'and if you're that determined... You need to know what to do when she's upset, when she's hungry, when she's tired...' She trailed off, and Ressler noted that her shoulders had begun to droop, and her gaze had lowered slightly; she seemed almost defeated by the idea. Samar quickly glanced up again, catching his eye as he stared back at her, and she shrugged at the curious look on his face; 'I told you. This isn't about me, it's about trying to do what's best for _her._ And fighting _isn't_ what's best for her; we've at least agreed on _that_ since the start.'  

Ressler slowed to an eventual stop as Leila seemed to finally doze off. Samar took a few steps closer to stand by his side -not to be close to him, per se, but to stroke Leila's tiny cheeks still flushed from her earlier upset. Ressler furrowed his brow; those flashes of Samar's softer side that he only ever saw with Leila or Sammy seemed so strange to him, when he was so used to her mask of steel in the field. Little did he realise, Samar was very quickly seeing the same strangeness in him as he stood there with Leila held closely between them. It was curious how in some moments they seemed to hate each other so much, and in others they could instantly connect, all because of Leila. Ressler let out another sigh;  
'I don't want to have to fight either,' he murmured, before glancing back at Samar, almost pleadingly. 'Let me see her more often, and we can go from there.'  
'I've always said, you can see her whenever you want. I never stopped you,' Samar nodded earnestly. 'But like I said in your office; you never called, never asked. You never made the effort until now.' Ressler grimaced, knowing that she unfortunately had a point.   
'You said Liz sees her nearly every week?' Samar quickly nodded. 'But you two and Aram are like the three musketeers with your birthdays, and your movie nights... I'm almost never invited, so how am I supposed to spend time with Leila?' Much to Ressler's surprise, Samar began to chuckle.   
'Half the time we don't invite Liz over either. She just turns up and we let her in, or we do the same to her. _That's_ when the movie nights happen.'  
'Right,' Ressler paused, thinking about it for a moment, before his face suddenly lit up; 'then, can I babysit for a weekend every so often?' Samar bit her lip, trying not to laugh again –but this time, at how eager he was. Taking on an entire weekend on his own with Leila when he had barely held her before now, though sweet, would still likely result in disaster.   
'Maybe not a whole weekend just yet,' she countered, albeit gently and with a hint of amusement, 'but a few hours, sure. Or one night, even. _Then_ see if you still want her for a whole weekend.' Ressler let out a warm smile, already planning in his head all the things he would have to do around his apartment to make it Leila-safe.  
‘Deal.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm, Ressler's mother really isn't so pleasant. (Almost a snap shot really, of what an elderly Samar *could* possibly look like if she had stumbled down the path of bitterness at the bad things that have happened to her, and allowed them to wipe away her inner softer side for good, rather than holding her head high and trying to push through them. Food for thought...)
> 
> I feel bad every time I have to write a mean character... Nonetheless, every character has to have their own struggles in this story, and this is one of Ressler's!
> 
> Next up; a small, two week time jump to Ressler's first attempt at babysitting, in 'Onwards'!


	46. Onwards

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Friday-Monday, February 3-6, 2017.
> 
> Surprise! In honour of it being little Sammy's birthday in real time (or at least, in my timezone anyway) and my being ridiculously and unnecessarily overexcited about it, here's an early update!
> 
> This chapter was a big deal for me date-wise, too... This whole story started on the of morning February 6, 2016 in the timeline, and the very end of this chapter is the morning of February 6, 2017 in the timeline. That's one year exactly! So yeah, I'm pretty excitable today. Happy timeline-iversary, folks!

**_FRIDAY MORNING..._ **

Samar looked up, almost with a jump as Ressler made a sudden stop in front of her desk. She stared back half alarmed, half amused at the wild eyed grin on his face. Though they were still playing the wait and see game when it came to the issue of Leila's second guardian, there had been no new incidents at all in the now two weeks since Ressler's mother came to town. On one hand, it was because they were avoiding making any further issue of it –there wasn't much Samar could do really, seeing as the ball was still in Ressler's court- but on the other hand, there was also a noticeable reduction in the tension between them, and once again a newfound level of respect –and even a slight hint of friendliness- for one another since that evening in Ressler's living room. The question now was; how long it would last _this_ time.   
'...Yes, Ressler?' Samar warily greeted him. Ressler paused only to reach forward and affectionately tousle Leila's hair as she rested against Samar's shoulder; her chubby cheeks were lit by a tiny, absent-minded smile in response as her eyes, still sleepy from having just woken up after the drive to the Post Office, flickered open and closed a few times more. Without a second's hesitation now, Samar held Leila a little further out for Ressler to take her, and he did so eagerly –just as he had nearly every morning since learning how to settle her in his living room. It was as if a switch had been flicked in his brain; from that second his protective instinct had kicked in and his avoidance of her had flown out the window, Ressler had been quite content to give Leila a quick cuddle early every morning before she went downstairs. At first, Samar had been taken by surprise, but by now she was unfazed.   
'I just spent the last couple of evenings moving around half my home office furniture to make the other half of it a mini nursery...' He trailed off for a moment, still grinning in anticipation. The other half of the room, he was hoping to decorate as a more elaborate nursery if his spending time with Leila became a more regular thing but in the meantime, Ressler didn't want to get his hopes up just in case it didn't. 'Can I babysit one night this weekend?' He asked, the hopefulness clear in his voice. Samar took a cautious breath.  
'Do you have a crib?' She quickly asked. Ressler nodded. Samar hesitated for a second, knowing that there was no _good_ reason to say no if Ressler was that determined and committed to proving he could be a stable option for Leila, but still feeling somewhat protective. She hadn't spent a night away from Leila at all before, aside from when she was essentially forced to by Maxwell. 'Ok, well... I guess so. What day?'  
'Sunday night, maybe?' Ressler suggested, having clearly thought it out well in advance. 'You could drop her off in the afternoon, and I could just bring her into work with me on Monday morning. Then neither of us has to make two trips.' Samar nodded slowly; at least, though it was something she was reluctant about, that was a fair suggestion. Ressler beamed in back, before quickly sensing the hesitation, switching to a sheepish grin, and bowing his head. He planted a quick kiss to Leila's forehead for good measure, before tentatively passing her back to Samar so she could go downstairs.  

/*/*/*/*

**_SUNDAY AFTERNOON..._ **

'This is a disaster waiting to happen,' Samar muttered under her breath as she and Aram walked up the stairs of Ressler's apartment building with Leila in tow.   
'I'm sure it won't be quite _that_ bad,' Aram murmured back, though to be quite honest he had more than enough doubts of his own. Samar shot him a look as they reached the top of the stairs and began the stretch down the hallway to Ressler's door.  
'At the very least, he has no idea what he's in for.' Aram paused, not having a counterpoint for that one. Samar quickly knocked on the door, sighing to herself, and desperately trying to convince herself that this was a _good_ thing. The door swung open, and Ressler let out a nervous but no less enthusiastic smile.   
'Hey,' he greeted them, 'come on in.' Samar and Aram followed him inside, and Ressler gestured to the doorway to what was his home office until a few days earlier. He had no doubt that Samar –if not Aram too- would want to see the space where Leila would be staying, for themselves. If anything, Ressler would expect no less. If the roles were reversed, he would want much the same. Samar poked her head around the door, seemingly understanding what the gesture was for, and took in the sight before her. The office space was now reduced to a desk in one corner with storage underneath, not that Ressler really needed it; more than anything it was a room used for excess files and other bits and pieces. The majority of his work from home was done on his laptop in the comfort of his living room. The rest of the former office however, had indeed been cleared. A wooden crib -not too unlike the one Samar herself had bought in preparation for Leila's arrival- sat to one side, and a fold out, portable change table sat on the other. It was the most basic of supplies, but it was certainly a start. If anything, the fact that Ressler hadn't immediately gone all out in setting up the space was somewhat reassuring. It meant he was taking it all one step at a time, just like Samar was.  

She gave a small nod of approval, before stepping back out into the main living area and slipping Leila's navy and white polka dotted bag off her shoulder.

'All her things are in here,' Samar explained, opening one end of the bag to quickly show Ressler where everything was. 'Clothes, diapers, bottles... The low lactose formula too. She doesn't like it much, so she might fuss when you feed her but she can't take the regular formula... So for times like this, that's what she has to have.' Ressler frowned in mild concern but he otherwise remained silently patient while Samar turned the bag around to keep rifling through it. She quickly pointed out the rose blanket Mehri had knitted when Leila was born; 'her favourite blanket is in the side here, make sure she has that when you put her to bed. And-'  
'-Samar,' Aram quietly interrupted, trying to slow down the list of instructions that were speeding up the longer Samar kept talking, and would probably go on forever if nobody stopped her. Samar's gaze snapped to his, her full attention now jolted from the bag.  
'What?' Aram let out a soft smile.  
'I'm sure Ressler knows how to look through a bag and find what he needs,' he gently prompted. Samar furrowed her brow but otherwise handed the bag over without complaint. Going through it all was more a reassurance to herself than an explanation to Ressler, but Aram had a point... Plus, she had gone over it some half a dozen times already at home to make sure everything that was needed, was packed.   
'Last thing,' she added, and noted that Ressler at least, was listening quite contentedly –or perhaps, he simply wasn't going to argue with her given the situation- 'Mr. Spikes is in the side pouch, there-' she pointed at the pouch in question at one end of the bag and Ressler's gaze instantly followed, spotting the tail of a familiar purple and green stuffed dinosaur poking out '-she needs that too, when you put her to bed. Otherwise, you'll never hear the end of it.'  
' _Mr. Spikes?'_ Ressler asked, holding back a laugh. Samar rolled her eyes.  
'I didn't name him, Aram did,' she muttered back, and Aram simply shrugged his shoulders; it was far from original, but since when did that matter? Ressler grinned as he eyed the dinosaur in question once more; the very dinosaur _he_ had given to Leila the day she was born...The very dinosaur Aram had guided him to, after having started the ongoing dinosaur theme. Of course, of all the possibilities in Leila's constantly growing collection of bears and other stuffed animals, _that_ one had to be her favourite.   
'Right... So, feeding time will be difficult, but the blanket and Mr. Spikes make her more comfortable?' Ressler tried to summarise. Samar gave a slow, wary nod; that certainly was one way to put it simply.   
'If she doesn't settle, just call... I can come and pick her up again if you need me to.' Ressler nodded earnestly, the only thing he could think of to try and reassure her, as he reached forwards to take the squirming five month old from Aram.  
'I'm sure we'll be just fine... Right, little sprout?' Leila simply cooed and gurgled in response to his voice. 'See? We'll be ok.'

/*/*/*/*

**_SUNDAY EVENING..._ **

Despite the fact that as Aram had pointed out in an effort to convince Samar that the day's proceedings weren't the worst thing on earth to happen; no matter how strange it felt to leave Leila with Ressler for an evening, it _did_ give them a baby-free night to themselves for once... Samar remained a little on edge. Her phone stayed in her pocket, or close enough to reach within a single ring should the need arise, and her mind -when not otherwise occupied- continued to think of things she wished she had told Ressler before leaving his apartment.

They had driven around for a while to try and find _anywhere_ besides home to have dinner as some kind of distraction but in the end, home won out. At least for Ressler's very first attempt at babysitting, it was probably wise that they remain free to dash out again at a moment's notice, just in case.  

'Now what are you doing?' Aram asked teasingly from the couch, as Samar needlessly opened and closed the fridge door the way people often did when bored or in need of distraction.  
'Looking for inspiration?' She theorised in response, shrugging her shoulders as she turned her attention from the fridge to the freezer.  
'Inspiration...' Aram processed the idea, 'in the _freezer?'_ Samar glanced over her shoulder back at him, sighing sheepishly.  
'Well... That _is_ where the ice cream is.' She took the half- eaten pint of triple choc from the freezer –the choice of flavour signalling her mood or stress levels just as her choice in shampoo scent did- and closing the freezer door behind her before turning on the spot and beginning the search for a spoon. The apartment felt eerily quiet and empty without Leila around, now that Samar was so accustomed to the idea of having a child.  

With a spoon finally in hand, Samar crossed into the living room and collapsed frustratedly onto the couch next to him, leaning back into the corner and swinging her legs across his lap.  
'I know it's probably not such a bad thing for Leila to spend time with him...' She began, 'but I hate this feeling like we're at his mercy when it comes to all this... Like we have to _let_ him do whatever he wants just to keep him happy.' Aram gave a sympathetic look; Samar was never going to be comfortable with any kind of situation like that.   
'Just think about the long term,' he tried to reassure her even though, deep down, he was just as anxious about Leila being away from them for a night, and still had that tiny fraction of annoyance lingering over Ressler's initial behaviour. In a certain way, Aram was trying to convince himself just as much as he was Samar; 'it'll be stressful while Ressler has to learn quickly and while we have to let him, but hopefully it'll be a good thing if he has Leila for a night or two every so often. Let's just remember what Liz said about both her biological and adoptive fathers. Leila can have both, too.'  
'Assuming Ressler doesn't try to stop that from happening,' Samar muttered, digging her spoon even deeper into the tub of ice cream in her hand. 'That's the part I'm worried about.' She was all too conflicted, and relying on hope that it was simply something that would work itself out with time.  

With a small sigh as her mind began to wander elsewhere, she reached out with one hand to offer him the tub of ice cream –the spoon still poking out of the top. With a contemplative expression of his own, Aram peered into the remains of the pint for a moment and shrugged nonchalantly. Not even taking the tub from Samar's hand, Aram took a spoonful of the sweet, frozen goodness, and promptly returned the spoon to its place. Samar's hand pulled the tub back all of a second later; the universal, and silent sharing of their mutually loved dessert.  

'I didn't tell you what Maxwell said to me just before he threatened you both, did I?' She asked slowly. Aram shook his head, one eyebrow raised in sudden alarm, and Samar let out another sigh. 'He said I didn't strike him as the mother hen type. At first I agreed with him, and yet... We have all of _one_ night with Leila not at home, but with someone we see _every_ day, and I still can't get it out of my head.' Her gaze met his, questioning not just his thoughts on the matter, but everything she had once thought about herself too. Aram broke into a slow grin.  
'Well, you're _not_ really a mother hen,' he observed. Samar faltered for a second, staring back at him, and almost hurt by that. 'You're not really a mother hen,' Aram repeated, his grin widening as he spoke, 'because you're more like a mother _bear_.' Samar paused, before breaking into a small smile of her own.   
'Nice save,' she commented drolly. Aram chuckled as he pushed her feet off his knees, and leaned forward to press a quick kiss to her cheek before rising from the couch. Samar watched him go as he circled around the room to his backpack still strewn across the floor in front of the bookshelf, and suddenly started to search through the seemingly endless pile of paper stored within. 'You want to work _now?'_ She asked, shaking her head in disbelief. Aram glanced back over his shoulder and shot her a mischievous look.  
'Actually, no...' With a flourish he pulled out a medium sized envelope and then hurried back across to the couch. 'I was going to save this until tomorrow, but perhaps it'll be better at taking your mind off things now.' He sat back down again, holding the envelope out to her. Curiously, Samar took it from him, swapping it with him for the ice cream. 'It's your anniversary surprise.' Aram sat up straight, watching eagerly and with the sheer glee clear on his face while Samar hesitantly opened one end.  
'Do we _really_ have an anniversary?' She asked doubtfully, peering into the envelope.  
'Well...' Aram shrugged as he took another spoonful of the ice cream, 'our first date was in February, just two days shy of Valentine's day. That counts.' Samar raised a wry eyebrow.  
'That's the twelfth, then. Tomorrow's only the sixth of February.' She was confused; _if the twelfth was the anniversary, why did he want to give her the surprise gift on the sixth instead?  
_ 'Do the math; just how many days before our first date did you find out you were pregnant?' If it was even possible for the glee on Aram's face to stretch into a wider grin as he spoke, Samar would have sworn that it did. She thought back to that day in her head; it had been only six days before the banana split that started it all; the sixth of February. Aram chuckled as the realisation suddenly crossed Samar's face. 'Liz and I counted it back and figured it out. I knew I'd have to give this to you a few days early, so that seemed fitting.'

Samar pulled out the contents of the envelope, and slowly unfolded the pages; they were printouts confirming what appeared to be some kind of trip Aram had booked... Which explained why she had seen him looking at flights and hotel listings a few weeks earlier. Samar flicked through the pages, and then suddenly looked up at him in shock.  
'We're going to New York for the weekend?' Aram nodded.  
'Yeah, I thought it might be nice just for the three of us to go away for a couple of days. I mean, I haven't planned anything _specific_ for us to do there yet, but-'  
'-I'll do that,' Samar interjected. She shuffled over along the couch, her legs that were over his lap now bending at the knee until level with her chin, and she tilted her head to lean it against his. 'You organised flights and the hotel, I'll do the rest,' she said softly. 'Then it's a present for both of us.' She glanced thoughtfully at the now notably _empty_ ice cream tub beside them; 'you know, I even have an idea...' Aram raised an amused eyebrow.  
'Yeah? What is it?' Samar simply winked at him and pressed quick kiss to his lips.  
'It's a surprise.'

/*/*/*/*

'Ssshhhhh...' Ressler quietly begged Leila, 'come on little sprout, I don't know what else I can do to help...' He was walking around the living room with her again, just as Samar had told him to do two weeks earlier, but it was no use. Leila just wouldn't stop crying. 'I know you weren't a fan of sleep before, but I thought you were getting better at this lately...' Ressler had tried everything; from humming to her, reading to her, driving around the block with her, but nothing was helping to get her to sleep. She was too unsettled by the unfamiliar apartment, and the absence of Samar and Aram.

At least everything _until_ then had gone relatively smoothly.  

Ressler sighed in weary defeat, and lowered himself onto the couch instead. He laid back onto the couch, resting Leila carefully on his chest, and loosely draping the rose blanket across the both of them. Mr. Spikes, of course, remained next to Leila and clutched in her tiny fist by one leg, with his head just poking out from under the blanket's edging. Ressler reached for the remote laying on the armrest behind his head, quickly switching the television on at a low volume. With one hand rested around Leila's back to stop her from rolling off, Ressler gazed absentmindedly at the screen.

The Super Bowl had just started.

Gone were the days where Ressler would watch it almost religiously every year with a group of friends from his college football days. In the last few years, with the hectic and irregular case schedule, it was near impossible to commit to attending any kind of pre-organised event. Instead, he had taken to just _trying_ to watch the game at home.   
'You don't want to sleep, Leila?' He murmured to her as she continued to grizzle and wail against his chest, 'I was going to watch this after I put you in your crib, but I guess you can just watch it with me instead...'  

Ressler stared blankly back at the screen. It almost escaped his attention entirely that as the minutes of gameplay continued to pass, Leila's volume steadily lowered. It was only at half time, when his attention was suddenly forced from the game, that Ressler realised; while laying there –and despite both the noise and the moving flashes of colour- Leila had settled and fallen quite contentedly to sleep, all by herself.   
'Unbelievable...' Ressler muttered quietly to himself, pausing only for a moment to smile warmly at the flash of serenity he felt as he stared at her tiny, sleeping form, curled up on his chest. 'After all that, you fall asleep not just in front of _football_ , but in front of the Super Bowl? Was it really _that_ boring?'

He rose slowly from the couch, still holding Leila close, to finally set her down in her crib. All the while, Ressler continued to shake his head in amused disbelief.

/*/*/*/*

**_MONDAY MORNING..._ **

Samar stepped out of the elevator and into the war room, Aram right behind her, and immediately looked around. Without even realising it, she let out a breath of relief the second she spotted Ressler standing in the middle of the war room, talking to Liz, with Leila sound asleep against his shoulder. On the approach towards him, Samar noted that his eyes had ever so slight dark rings around them from a lack of sleep, but otherwise all seemed normal; Ressler was calm, and Leila was comfortable.  

Samar and Aram came to a stop beside them, and both Liz and Ressler turned to greet them.  

'How was last night?' Samar cautiously asked. Ressler let out an amused grin.  
'Not bad, actually... But she's definitely got Navabi genes.'  
'...What makes you say that?'   
'The only way I could get her to sleep was when I had her laying on my chest while I watched the Super Bowl.' He responded flatly. 'She has to have been bored... No Ressler kid would fall asleep in front of the Super Bowl, otherwise.' Samar let out a knowing smile as she gently took Leila from him.  
'Don't take it too personally,' she tried to reassure him, nodding earnestly, 'she does the same thing when Aram watches Doctor Who.' The indignant look on Ressler's face eased a little, and Aram rolled his eyes. Liz raised an eyebrow as Ressler promptly hurried away to retrieve Leila's bag that he had left beside his desk for safekeeping.   
'You're not going to point out to him that the reason she fell asleep probably had more to do with the fact she was laying on his chest, are you?' Liz chuckled. Samar shook her head, a small grin etching its way across her face; she had let Aram believe Leila was bored too for a while, before finally relenting and telling him the truth. She had to find her few moments of fun with the whole situation, wherever she could.  
'Nope.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, the next year of this story begins with utter, shameless fluff as Samar and Aram celebrate their anniversary, in 'One'.
> 
> Do you want to know where this is all headed, or would you rather be surprised? There's a lot yet to come in this story!  
> Questions, comments, thoughts, reviews, and even plain ol' simple waves hello are always loved and appreciated, folks! And you're always welcome to message me on tumblr too, if you'd like. :)


	47. One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Friday-Sunday, February 10-12, 2017.
> 
> And so... Another year of this story begins!
> 
> Ok so, I was kind of hoping this one would have a little more depth but then it got away from me and decided to write itself.... And now it's a slightly shorter than usual, shameless, plotless, fluffy bunny. Don't judge me for it! 
> 
> Kudos to thebeautifulbadass for giving me some advice on New York City for this chapter, and to tumblr for inspiring the 'kisses for ransom' joke. I"ll include the link at the end notes.

'Whoa...' Samar breathed, staring around the hotel room. Having packed in advance, and then gone straight from work that Friday evening to the airport for their late flight to New York City, they now stood just inside the door to the room Aram had booked. It was stunning; the grey-white wallpaper featured subtle but elegant swirls, the window on the far side of the room took up what was easily two thirds of the wall, and was decked with flowing, deep blue curtains. They could move around quite comfortably in the 'L' shaped space with the queen sized bed on the larger side, and the small crib that had been brought up for them in advance by the hotel staff, on the other. A soft, three seater couch that was the same shade of blue as the curtains, sat in the space between, in front of the wall mounted television. In all, it was a fairly spacious room, but not so much as to feel small within it. It was far from being a mere square space with a bed in the centre and nothing else.  

Aram had chosen well. It was perfect.  

Samar took a few steps further in, gazing around in amazement and slowly dropping her bag on the floor next to the couch, before turning on the spot to face Aram once more, a soft smile lighting up her face. He took a few steps forward of his own to meet her in the centre, Leila still nestled in the carrier strapped to his chest, and reached forward with both hands to intertwine his fingers through Samar's, pulling her towards him.  
'I love it,' she murmured to him, and tipped her head forwards over Leila to press a kiss to his lips.  
'I'm glad,' Aram whispered back, his face still barely an inch from hers. He broke into a grin; 'so... Now we're here, what are we doing tomorrow?' Samar smirked teasingly in response.  
'You'll see.'

/*/*/*/*

Aram's eyes flickered open as the sunlight began to trickle through the cracks in the curtains. It took him a second for the sense of sleepy fuzziness to evacuate his brain but as soon as it did, and he remembered where they were, his eyes snapped completely open once and for all. He rolled over, and smiled warmly at the sight of Samar still curled up and sound asleep next to him. He wrapped one arm loosely around her, and pushed himself up slightly with the other to lean over and kiss her cheek, causing Samar to mumble something sleepy and unintelligible in response. Now grinning even more so, Aram pushed the dark, tumbling curls back off her shoulders, and dotted a line of soft kisses all along her cheeks. Samar grumbled again, slowly waking up and burying her face further into her pillow in an effort to go back to sleep. Aram chuckled to himself, and Samar finally opened her eyes, staring blearily back up at him.  
'Good morning,' he whispered. Samar let out a sleepy smile in response. 'Now do I get to know what we're doing today?' Samar tried to playfully swat him away, but Aram stood his ground, burying his face against hers and kissing her again until she began to laugh.  
'Not... If you're going to be... This impatient,' she said between breaths of laughter. Aram pulled back again, looking at her expectantly. A mischievous smirk crossed Samar's face. 'And seeing as you woke me up, I'm going to hold the information for ransom.' Aram raised a wry eyebrow.  
'Oh?' He began, trying not to laugh, 'what might that be?'  
'Well...' Samar gave a sigh of mock contemplation. 'I was _going_ to tell you the plan over breakfast, but I'll tell you earlier for a thousand kisses.' She grinned, automatically assuming that she had called his bluff and that he would have to wait until breakfast. But, much to both her surprise and dismay, a slow grin began to etch its way across Aram's face.  
'Challenge accepted,' he chirped, and instantly began to dot further lines of kisses everywhere he could reach down her neck and across her shoulders.   
'Aram,' she gasped between further laughs, 'what are you _doing?'_ Aram stopped for a second, beaming down at her in amusement.  
'Giving you a thousand kisses,' he said in response, as if it were the most obvious thing on earth. 'You _just_ challenged me to do that.' He rolled his eyes, before pressing another kiss to the tip of her nose. 'That was twenty five, by the way.'  
'You know I was kidding, right?' Samar shook her head in disbelief. 'You _can't_ give me a thousand kisses, it'll take forever.' Aram simply grinned back, and Samar faltered for a moment. 'What?' She asked slowly.  
'It won't take forever,' Aram whispered back matter of factly, adding a kiss to her cheek, and another to her forehead as he did so. A smug expression crossed his face; 'in fact, if you do the math and assume a rate of about four kisses a second, it would only take just over four minutes.' Samar sighed; of _course_ , Aram would do the math instead of just assuming a thousand was too much and automatically conceding defeat. But, Aram wasn't finished; 'or, if you'd like a little more variety in placement I could slow it down to just two a second, and it would take about eight minutes.' He shrugged nonchalantly, and all too pleased with himself. 'I mean, it's a little excessive, but it's not impossible... And it's better than waiting until we get all the way down to the breakfast room.' He added another couple of kisses to her shoulder and collarbone. 'You forget, math was always my thing,' he murmured happily into her ear.   
'Ok, ok,' Samar tried to swat him away again, 'can I just give up now?' Aram sat up, glancing back at her with a hint of mock suspicion as he thought about it.  
'Well...' He began, 'then I wouldn't win the challenge... But I guess if you spill the beans, I can let that disappointment slide.' Samar gave his arm a light push to move him out of the way so she could clamber out of bed. She shivered slightly, now out from under the bedcovers, and darted across the room to her bag. From the side pocket, she pulled out a few folded pages of paper, and then hurried back across to the bed. Samar pulled the covers back up to her chin as she sat down again, and held the few pages up for Aram to see. He eyed them curiously; they seemed to be... _Articles about the best places to have ice cream in New York?_ Aram furrowed his brow in confusion, flicking through the pages of the three separate articles Samar had clearly printed off the internet. 'Ok, I'm seeing an ice cream theme here...' He murmured, before shifting his gaze back to her, 'but other than that I'm confused.'  
'You picked this weekend because it's _when_ we went on our first date... I picked ice cream because that's what we _did_ on our first date.' Samar said, quite simply. She averted her gaze for a moment, almost as if embarrassed by the rare moment of sentimentality. 'We've both been to New York enough times to have seen all the usual tourist things... So I thought we should go searching for the best banana split in the city instead, and then just see the sights as we go between stops.' Aram broke into another wide grin, but quickly glanced back to the pile of pages in his hand instead, opting not to make a fuss of her choice that otherwise delighted him so much.  
'Any preference for where we should start?' Samar took the pages back from his hands and gazed contemplatively at the three on the list that had particularly taken her attention.  

They were the very three that had specifically mentioned old school sundaes but one was on the Lower East Side, one was on Staten Island, and the other was in Queens.  

Figuring out where to go first, when they all looked _so_ good, was a beyond tough decision.  

Making a snap judgement, Samar pointed out one of the three to Aram, who tilted his head to see for himself and read the description.  
'Ok,' he said, nodding eagerly. 'But if we're taking this quest seriously, we may want to skip breakfast.'

/*/*/*/*

Inside the red brick, corner sweet shop with its original white and blue tiled floor, vintage cash register, and long marble countertop lined with worn metal bar stools, Samar and Aram sat side by side –Leila perched carefully on Samar's lap with one arm around her- staring at the mammoth sized banana split in front of them. It had all the toppings, from the chocolate sauce, chopped nuts and rainbow sprinkles, to the classic glace cherry on top. It went without saying as they exchanged amused glances, that not only was that going to be hard to beat, but they probably also weren't going to be able to eat another one in the same day –even if they _did_ share it.  

It also went without saying, that they were going to try one of the other parlours the next day, just to be absolutely sure they really did find the best one.

But for the meantime, Aram dug his spoon into one side of the dessert and took the first mouthful. His face contorted in delight as he savoured the flavour, and Samar promptly did the same. Wordlessly, they each took a few more spoonfuls, until Leila began trying to lean forward over Samar's arm around her, and reach for the edge of the dish. With her free hand, Samar instinctively pushed the dish a little further back on the counter top.  
'Actually...' Aram began, glancing thoughtfully back and forth between Leila and the sundae dish. 'Technically, babies can stomach soft foods from roughly six months so long as they can hold their heads up. She's less than two weeks shy, and she holds herself up pretty well already... We could probably give her just a teaspoon or two to try.' Samar raised a curious eyebrow, as Aram scooped a tiny amount of ice cream from the edge of the dish without any toppings, so that he had roughly a half teaspoon for her.  
'She's not going to like how cold it is,' Samar observed warily, but nonetheless gestured for him to try. She turned slightly on her stool, making it easier for Aram to reach Leila. Leila's twinkling eyes went wide in anticipation, as she waved her little hands to reach for the spoon. Aram ducked the spoon around them, landing the tiny fraction of dessert into her mouth.

They waited. Leila's hands went still for a moment as she processed the strange, new sensation. Samar braced herself, expecting Leila to wail in complaint... But she didn't. Leila's chubby cheeks contorted in surprise for a moment as she swallowed, and then a huge smile lit up her face. Ice cream and drool dribbled down her chin, but she began to babble happily and reach forward to Aram again, eagerly searching for more.  

Aram and Samar exchanged amused glances, and Samar shrugged ' _why not?'_ Aram promptly scooped another half teaspoonful from the edge of the dish and fed it to Leila.

Leila paused at the sensation again, and then giggled with delight. She reached across -almost lunging, in fact- in her search once again for more, so determinedly that Samar had to hurriedly pull Leila back before she slid off her lap. Aram chuckled to himself as he swapped spoon for napkin and wiped the mess from Leila's chin.  
'I think that's enough for you, for the moment,' he chuckled to her. Aram shifted his gaze back to Samar; 'I think she's an ice cream addict in the making, just like you,' he observed, with a hint of amusement. Samar let out a warm smile of her own as she kissed the top of Leila's head and glanced back at him.  
'I could think of worse things,' she mused. She picked up her spoon with her free hand again, taking another mouthful of the sundae. Aram did the same. Leila watched intently as the spoons moved back and forth, and Aram tried to pull silly faces at her between spoonfuls.  

Aram was a messy enough eater as it was. Add that to his trying to entertain Leila at the same time, and Samar had to bite her lip to hold back a laugh.  

Aram paused, frowning slightly to himself at the sudden, cold sensation on his face.  
'...I have ice cream on the end of my nose, don't I?' He huffed. Samar smirked and rolled her eyes, before leaning around Leila to press a quick kiss to the end of his nose. Aram beamed back at the gesture; yet another of Samar's rare moments of public affection that filled him with utter joy.   
'Not anymore,' she observed quietly. A mild, pink blush began to creep across her face, and Aram dropped his gaze for a moment to allow her to recover the usual stoicism. He finally glanced up again, to note Samar still watching him, half amused, half embarrassed. She let out a small smile, and Aram grinned back as she spoke up again; 'happy anniversary.'

/*/*/*/*

'Should we try another one of those banana splits tomorrow before we fly home in the afternoon?' Samar's voice caught Aram's attention, and he glanced up from the couch as she stepped out of the bathroom. Leila was already sound asleep in her crib, completely worn out after all the excitement earlier in the day... Now it was just the two of them. Aram couldn't help but notice the absence of the long, cotton pyjama bottoms that Samar would usually be wearing when it was that cold, under her robe.  

'You are going to _freeze_ if you stay like that,' he observed, raising a mischievous eyebrow.   
'Perhaps,' Samar hummed softly in response, 'but it depends on how quickly you unwrap your present.' Aram quickly panned his gaze around the hotel room, seeing no wrapped gift anywhere. He warily eyed Samar coming to a slow stop right in front of him where he now stood, her long, dark curls tumbling down around her shoulders the way she knew Aram loved.  
'My present doesn't happen to be standing right in front of me, by any chance, does it?' He asked cautiously. Samar gave him a wry smile. 'Because I mean, that's great but... You know I don't think that way, right?' Samar nodded, her lip twitching in amusement as Aram continued to ramble; 'not that I don't appreciate it because I mean, you know I enjoy this as much as you do-' Aram took a second to clear his throat '-and I'm sure whatever you've got under there is gorgeous, but I’m not one of those guys who _expects_ fancy lingerie on special occasions.' Samar raised an eyebrow. She had a whole drawer full of temptation back at their apartment, and Aram had seen -and _enjoyed_ \- some of it already on occasions where she felt like mixing things up, but no matter how amusing his shyness could be sometimes, right now that wasn’t the point.  
'Aren't you presumptuous this evening...' She murmured teasingly in his ear. Aram's face crumpled.  
'What, _no_. That's the point I was trying to make, I don't-'  
'-Aram.' Samar pressed a gentle kiss to his lips to bring an end to his anxious rambling. 'Before you get ahead of yourself, try actually unwrapping your anniversary present.'  

Aram paused for a moment in hesitation, both reluctant _and_ curious. His fingers wrapped slowly around the dangling ends of the cord on her robe and gave it a gentle tug, letting it finally fall open.  

The expression on his face hurriedly changed from one of nervousness, to his jaw dropping in delight and surprise.  

'Oh...' He breathed, staring back at her. Samar grinned.  
'Not what you were expecting?' Aram shook his head no.  
'Have I mentioned I love you?'  
'You make a point of telling me daily,' Samar smirked. 'But don't make too big a fuss, I feel ridiculous like this.'  
'You don't _look_ ridiculous,' Aram beamed. He stared in amazement at the sight in front of him; of all things, Samar had on a very particular ensemble. A blue, white, red and gold, star spangled tank top and underwear set that instantly reminded Aram of a conversation had while shopping so many months earlier; Samar was his Wonder Woman. 'I almost don't want to take those off you.' Aram gave her a sheepish grin as Samar's face contorted in mild alarm. ' _Almost,_ ' he repeated. Samar breathed a sigh of relief. Aram wrapped his arms around her waist and picked her up. Samar slipped her hands over his shoulders until her fingers interlocked behind him. With a seductive smile, she tipped her head forwards to press a deep kiss to his lips... Aram tilted his head back eagerly to return the favour, taking the two steps backwards as he did so to lower himself down onto the bed behind them, and then Samar onto his lap. His arms wrapped around Samar a little tighter, holding her as close to him as he could. Aram broke away from the kiss, gazing back up at her again.

'Please tell me I get to see this again?' He asked hopefully. Samar smirked, but couldn't help sighing in contentment as Aram slipped his fingers under the edging of her tank top and began running his hands up her back and down her sides.  
'Maybe on your birthday if you promise not to make sound effects,' she teasingly whispered back. Nonetheless, the look on her face was genuine, and Aram's eyes went wide in gleeful surprise.   
'Twice in one _year?'_ He exclaimed, and he couldn't help himself from quickly eyeing her up and down once more before he began to chuckle; 'I'll take that as a victory.'

He looked back up at her happily, unable to wipe the smile from his face as he gently pushed back her hair and leaned in to kiss her again.  

_One year down, hopefully a lifetime more to go..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, both kiddos have a little too much fun as they begin to try new foods... And Samar and Liz get up to some much-needed shenanigans of their own, in 'Oops'.
> 
> (And if anyone's wondering why there has been a lot of fluffy, less-angsty chapters of late, it's because I have a whole run of angst planned in a few chapters time!)
> 
> tumblr link: http://whimsyandsomething.tumblr.com/post/145691236921/help-mywife-tchellig-help-mywife-help-my
> 
> Oh, sidenote! The place in this chapter where our dynamic duo enjoyed their banana split is actually based on a real place in NYC, called Eddie's Sweet Shop. If you search for it on google images, you can see what it looks like.


	48. Oops

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Saturday, February 25, 2017.
> 
> Surprise, another early bonus chapter! I really should be sticking to updating once every weekend, but I just couldn't resist the temptation today. Think of it as a potential apology in advance; I started a new post-grad course yesterday after a while off studying and so I may yet find that I have a little less time to write now than I was used to before. I have however, spent the last week or so furiously writing as much as I can so I have a buffer of chapters held back that I can still post even if I don't get enough writing time (another reason I shouldn't be posting today but ooooooh well).
> 
> For this chapter, special shoutouts go to thebeautifulbadass and AuraSweet13 who both gave me a boatload of suggestions when I was majorly stuck on where to send Liz and Samar off for their shenanigans! You guys are the best, as per usual :)

Liz had announced out of the blue earlier in the week –and especially after how hectic the recent weeks had been- that Samar owed her a day out. Why Liz chose that day of all days to make such an announcement, Samar didn't know, but she certainly wasn't going to disagree... However, before Samar even knew what was happening, Liz had turned her announcement from a mere idea, to booking an afternoon at a day spa.

Samar was slightly wary at first, but Liz was insistent that they needed a relaxing day every once in a while, considering what they did for a living. Then of course, she pointed out the fact that a massage might be helpful for the lingering pain in Samar's muscles... And Samar had no argument to top _that_.  

And so there they were; relaxing in the aromatherapy spa room between their earlier massages, and the facials and pedicures that were yet to come.  

Samar let out a particularly contented sigh as she shuffled a little further down the spa ledge so that the warm, bubbling water rose from her shoulders to her chin. She tilted her head back so it leant against the edge and inhaled deeply, allowing the scents of rose and sandalwood to fill her nostrils. Across from her, on the opposite side of the floor-inset spa, Liz did the same. For the moment at least, they had the entire room to themselves... And given that it was just the two of them –and they had badges- the attendant on duty had left them alone while she tended to other clients who were awaiting massages... Not that the attendant was _supposed_ to leave anyone in the overall day spa unsupervised, but it seemed the centre was short staffed, and if she had to choose any clients to leave alone while she tended to the others, the two FBI agents who didn't technically require any assistance to soak and breathe were probably the best choice.  

...Or so she thought.  

Liz's eyes flickered slowly open again, and she gazed curiously at the diffusers on the wall shelf not far behind Samar's side of the spa.  

'The oils are starting to run low,' she observed, before shifting her gaze to the door, 'and the attendant hasn't come back yet.' Samar opened her own eyes, and furrowed her brow as she glanced around the room and made the same observation. One of the reasons there was supposed to be an attendant in the room with them –besides making sure that no one in the spa actually fell asleep- was so the oils burning around the room could be topped up as needed, thus stopping the diffuser bowls from cracking when their contents evaporated entirely... The attendant had said she would be back soon enough before hurrying away but Liz was right; it had been quite some time, and the young woman still had not yet returned.   
'Maybe give it a few more minutes?' Samar suggested, shrugging her shoulders. 'She has to come back eventually.' Liz bit her lip, now gesturing to another diffuser on one of the other wall shelves, that had suddenly caught her attention.  
'The candle in that one is about to burn out too,' she commented, before breaking into a mischievous grin. 'You know...' She began, and Samar raised a wary –but no less amused- eyebrow, 'the cabinet in the corner isn't locked. We _could_ just sort it out ourselves.'

Samar didn't even try to hold back her smirk as Liz jumped out of the spa, wrapped herself in her fluffy towel, and then eagerly peered through the glass doors of the cabinet in the corner of the room.

The cabinet was full of all the different aromatherapy scents they had been allowed to choose from upon arrival –all in their own, glittering, crystal bottles- and all kinds of candles too; from the tiny, white tea candles that burned under the diffusers, to brightly coloured ones that were nearly as big as Liz's face, and boasted delicious scents of their own on their labels. Samar observed with a wry smile as Liz, without a single second's hesitation, took one of the tea candles from the cabinet, replaced the now burnt out one on the far wall shelf, then promptly returned to the cabinet. Liz glanced over her shoulder in Samar's direction, and waggled her eyebrows.  
'Which oil do we want next?' She quipped.   
'You're not just going to top them up with the rose and sandalwood?' Samar asked curiously. Liz shrugged, grinning gleefully.  
'Why pick the same ones again when we can mix things up and try something new?' Still in the spa, enjoying the jets, Samar shot her a good natured eyeroll, and threw her hands in the air lackadaisically.  
'Oh I don't know... Maybe because we're only supposed to get two scents with our booking, unless we pay for extra ones. Which, you know, we _didn't_.'  
'Funny, I thought I made the day spa booking with Samar, not Ressler. Since when do you follow the rules?' Liz teased back. Samar scowled for a moment at the remark, but then reluctantly tipped her head to Liz, recognising the valid point. 'Besides,' Liz quickly added, 'it's not like the attendant is here to stop us... And really, if we're doing her the favour of doing half her job for her and topping up the oils ourselves, we should get a few freebies.'  
'Ok, ok, I'm convinced,' Samar chuckled back. Liz glanced pointedly between Samar and the cabinet, impatiently awaiting a choice. 'Lavender was on the list, right?' Samar asked, and Liz nodded. 'Ok, try that.' Liz gave her a mock salute, clearly now on a roll with her silly, mischievous mood, before taking the bottle of lavender oil from the cabinet making the full round of the room –adding a few drops to each of the ten diffusers on the shelf that ran around the entire space.  

The crystal bottle was returned to its place in the cabinet, and Liz returned to her place in the spa.  

Liz closed her eyes again, breathing in deeply as the smell of lavender floated through the air, mixing and swirling with the rose and sandalwood. The combination was definitely stronger than the aroma had been before, but only pleasantly so. Silence filled the room; besides the sounds of the spa jets continuing to ripple through the water, and the occasional contented sighs. Fifteen minutes or so passed before the scent began to wane, and Liz's eyes snapped open once more, now twinkling with delight. The lavender and sandalwood continued to linger in the air –though less so- and the rose aroma had evaporated entirely.  
'What oil should we try next?' She chirped, jumping out of the spa again. Samar waved a lazy hand through the air, not even opening her eyes for a second as she responded;  
'I chose the last one... You can choose this time.'  
'Hmmm...' Liz hummed to herself, reading over the labels as she tried to make her decision. 'How about jasmine? Jasmine always smells good.' Finally, Samar opened her eyes and raised a wary eyebrow.  
'Jasmine's also usually quite strong,' she warned, as Liz went to pour a few drops into the first diffuser, 'so start lightly.'

But Samar didn't speak soon enough; Liz poured in a few more drops than she had done with the lavender oil, assuming that pouring in more would make it last longer this time.

She glanced back at Samar with a sheepish grin.

'Too late,' she mused. Liz made the round of the room again, only adding the jasmine oil to every second diffuser in the hope that doing so would counter the effect of pouring a little more into the alternate ones. She returned to the spa, and sank slowly back into the warm water, smiling smugly at her creative solution. The smell of jasmine began to fill the room, little bit by little bit, wafting through the air and filling their collective nostrils. For a brief moment, the memory of jasmine growing along the side of a covert Mossad headquarters during one of Samar's early assignments with the agency, flashed through her mind... She breathed in deeply, but the aroma continued to increase in intensity.  

The sandalwood and lavender scents were completely masked by the jasmine... It was overwhelming.

Liz and Samar exchanged looks of alarm, both jumping out of the water and reaching for their towels at the same time. Each with one hand holding up their respective towels, and the other hand clasped over their respective noses, they both went sprinting out of the room, not stopping until the door closed firmly shut behind them.  

The smugness had vanished from Liz's face, and she sheepishly bit her lip. Samar rolled her eyes and sighed in mock exasperation as she tried not to laugh... Right at the very second the attendant finally reappeared at the end of the corridor, heading towards them. Liz shot Samar a guilty grin.  
'...Oops,' she chuckled.  

/*/*/*/*

Aram meanwhile, sat on one of the dining chairs, turned out slightly to face Leila and Sammy in their high chairs –Leila's being a regular one, and Sammy's being a portable one Liz had brought along for the occasion and that Aram had strapped onto another dining chair next to Leila. He had looked after both kids by himself a few times before without issue, but now the bigger they grew, the more they moved around... And the more creative Aram had to be. By now they could both roll over in both directions, and support themselves sitting up; Sammy usually reaching each milestone first given that she was a month older, but Leila was always close behind. Like Leila with the banana split in New York, Liz had already observed that Sammy was beginning to watch and try to reach for more interesting things to eat too, and both were now within that six to eight month window where they were starting to teeth.  

Needless to say, that now made feeding time considerably more complicated as the meals became more elaborate, the little ones squirmed around more, and the collective baby drool went _everywhere_.

Sammy and Leila sat up side by side in their seats, staring expectantly back at Aram with the bowls they had both very quickly learnt in the last couple of weeks meant something delicious was on its way to their bellies; in this case, the pureed banana and apple that Samar and Liz had begun introducing them both to, just a few weeks apart. Aram picked up the orange baby spoon from the small bowl on his left to feed Leila her first mouthful of the fruit, before switching hands to send the yellow spoon from the bowl on his right, in Sammy's direction –taking turns back and forth between them until it was all gone. He cleaned up both their faces and hands, before giving them a half bottle each as well for good measure –gently supporting one bottle in each hand when he felt bad about the idea of feeding one munchkin before the other. Aram grinned to himself as his two-handed solution seemed to work so perfectly. He seemed to have the entire process going smoothly already... _And to think Samar and Liz had worried as they had left for their afternoon out, that it would be a disaster_...  

Aram internally patted himself on the back for a job well done, as he put the bottles back down again on the table to his side again, and reached instead for a few teething rings, Mr Spikes, and Sammy's favourite stuffed toy –a fluffy zebra that Liz had named Ziggy- to put on their little tray tables for a while. Sammy instantly began gnawing on the rubber rings, only pausing on occasion to softly giggle at Leila waving Mr Spikes around in the air... All the while, Aram then reached for the bowl of ice cream he had left until last for himself on the table. A well-deserved treat, or at least, Aram thought so... Even if it was slightly melted by now, from the fact that he had set up the space entirely and _then_ started the whole process so that he wouldn't have to get up in a hurry to go looking for something while juggling both little ones at the same time. Nonetheless, even _if_ slightly melted, it _was_ still delicious.  

He took a mouthful, and then another, and another... Thinking to himself -as he watched them both- about which book to read to them next.  

Dr Seuss was always a good choice, but Reddington's recent mention of Paddington Bear had him wondering.  

Leila suddenly went quiet for a second, immediately jolting Aram's attention back to her. Sammy went quiet a second later, both of them having apparently spotted that he had a bowl of something else in hand, and now curiously eyeing his spoon moving back and forth. Aram's lip twitched in amusement, and he suddenly flickered his gaze back and forth between the bowl of ice cream in his hand and the two little ones staring back in front of him. He thought about it for a moment, remembering just how much Leila had loved those two, tiny, half teaspoons of ice cream in New York two weeks earlier.   
'Do you guys want to try some of this?' He finally asked them. Leila gurgled happily in response to his voice, and Sammy began to wave her little fists around in the air. Aram chuckled to himself; 'I'll take that as a yes.' He quickly reached across the kitchen counter top for two more fresh spoons from the pile he had left within reach earlier, just in case any were knocked to the floor from his hand... He turned back to the kids again, shuffling a little further forward in his seat to give them each just a mouthful or two...

Leila tried to lurch forward in her seat to reach for him. Sammy's little fists kept waving around, faster and faster in her excitement.

Aram had to duck as one nearly collided with his nose...

/*/*/*/*

Samar and Liz both gaped in horror as they re-entered the apartment and took in the sight before them. Aram had winced as he had heard the sounds of the front door unlocking and footsteps trailing down the hall accompanied by cheerful, content voices, far too soon for him to clean up the mess in time. He turned in his seat, looking back sheepishly at the expressions on their faces. Liz clasped her hand over her mouth, and Samar panned her gaze around the room, shaking her head as she took it all in... Both of them, completely speechless.  

Ice cream was _everywhere_.

In the flurry of excited baby fists, and Aram's duck to avoid them, the bowl of ice cream had been knocked from his hands. Its sticky, half melted contents was now splattered all over the high chair trays, all over Sammy and Leila's faces, all down Aram's shirt and finally; all through their collective hair.  

Samar could only find _some_ comfort in the fact that thankfully, most of it hadn't managed to make it beyond them to the floor.  

'Um...' Aram began, struggling to find the words to explain. He glanced nervously back and forth between the slowly widening grimaces on Samar and Liz's faces, and the delighted smiles and giggles from Leila and Sammy. There was no doubt that the two little ones seemed to be thoroughly enjoying themselves, but that was far from where Aram's concerns rested right at that moment. 'This is probably beyond a job for the baby wipes, huh?' He finally mumbled.   
'I'll go run a bath...' Samar murmured back in response, still stunned by the sheer extent of the splatter. She turned on her heels, heading straight for the guest bathroom, and Liz reached wordlessly for the tea towel on the counter to at least partly help Aram clean up his own face and hands before he went running for a fresh shirt. The sound of the bath running down the hall echoed in all their ears and Aram and Liz immediately turned their attention to Sammy and Leila.

They were going to have to go about the clean-up process systematically, and take it one step at a time.  

The bath was run to a low level. Liz took Leila into the bathroom first, leaving her with Samar before darting back out to retrieve Sammy. The two of them crouched by the edge of the tub, their gazes firmly directed at each of the two little ones while they set about scrubbing the mess from their hair. Once assured that Samar and Liz had it covered, Aram scurried away to the master bathroom to clean himself up, change his shirt, and then return.

Needless to say, as Aram finally peered around the doorway to the guest bathroom, he noted that Sammy and Leila still seemed to be enjoying themselves as they splashed around amongst all the bubbles.  

They were squeaky clean now, and simply enjoying the bubbles for a little while longer.  
'I uh, got out some fresh clothes and diapers for both of them, and a spare towel for Sammy...' Aram spoke up again, his voice barely audible as he gently set down each item on the counter top. Liz turned to meet his gaze, a small smile now working its way across her face. The mild horror of walking in and seeing the mess had worn off, and now it was simply a case of accepting the fact that this was probably far from the last case of food splattering everywhere now that the kids were both starting to take solids.   
'It was Sammy who knocked the bowl, wasn't it?' Liz murmured. Aram nodded slowly, and Samar furrowed her brow in confusion. Liz let out a chuckle; 'you should have seen me a couple of days ago when I tried to give her some mushy peas... I probably should have warned you; she might be the quieter, calmer one _normally_ -' Liz paused for a split second to eye Sammy happily pushing the bubbles around, while Leila gurgled and giggled '-but her little fists can be dangerous when she gets over-excited. If you think ice cream's bad, wait until you have to deal with slimy, green mush in your hair.'   
'Noted for future reference,' Aram said with a grin, 'keep the bowls of Sammy's favourite food, far away from her.' Samar picked Leila up out of the tub, her lip twitching at last in amusement at the knowledge that though this was a new experience for her, Liz at least seemed to be familiar with the concept already... And that it was normal. She wrapped Leila in her fluffy baby towel and cradled the _still_ babbling, squirming bundle to her chest, grinning at the smell of the baby shampoo right under her nose before turning back to glance at Aram over her shoulder. 'So...' Aram spoke up again as Liz too, reached for Sammy's towel from the counter, 'now you guys know how my afternoon went, how was yours?' Samar and Liz exchanged knowing looks.  
'Well...' Samar began with a smirk, 'you _could_ say ours was eventful too...'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, both some fluff and some angst, in 'Observations'.
> 
> Sidenote to anyone who's frustrated/curious with the Samar/Ressler/Aram/Leila conflict arc; that'll wrap up in a few more chapters time before I move onto other arcs. Brace yourselves; depending on your standpoint on a few issues, you'll either love it or hate it... (I say that, because I've seen a couple of starkly different preferences in comments and there was unfortunately, no way to please everyone. I had to come to a compromise just as the characters did!) But just think of it as character development! I know, I wrote it a couple of days ago. *insert evil, mischievous cackle*


	49. Observations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Friday, March 3, 2017.
> 
> Warning for a brief nightmare flash that depicts a major character death. (All italicised though, so scroll past it if you wish!)

'Why are there _so_ many choices?' Aram sighed, staring up and down the supermarket shelves in disbelief at the selection of baby foods. Once the section of the store that they could walk straight past without stopping, now that Leila had reached that crucial stage the struggle over choices was quickly becoming all too real. Samar stood next to him, staring at the selection just as he was. Grocery shopping wasn't the most exciting Friday evening out, but Ressler had taken Leila home after work for another round of babysitting, and it was at least a step up from sitting around anxiously at home while they adjusted to the idea of the occasional baby-free night.    
'Should we start with the vegetables?' Samar suggested, not so much to Aram specifically but rather, just throwing the idea in the air as she too, wondered about it curiously. Aram took a few steps further down the aisle to take in the full selection;  
'Ooh, chocolate and banana custard,' he pointed out –and by extension, ignored her suggestion- as it suddenly struck his attention. 'That sounds good.' Samar rolled her eyes in amusement, pushing the cart along as she took those same few steps further down the aisle to peek over his shoulder.   
'It does sound good,' she agreed, 'but last I checked, neither of those things were vegetables.'  
'The apple and blueberry muesli looks good too,' Aram observed, giving a sage nod of approval at the shelf of options he now found in front of him. A brief, cramping pain twinged through his abdomen, as it had on and off for most of the afternoon alongside flashes of mild nausea, but Aram dismissed it with nothing more than a wince. Instead, he internally berated himself for having relented and hurriedly bought his lunch from the café down the street from the Post Office, that he usually preferred to avoid. Aram swore that the café didn't keep its display fridges at a cold enough temperature, and thus any lunch bought there was essentially a bout of food poisoning waiting to happen... But he'd relented when, during a particularly complicated case, he realised that he had forgotten his lunch and didn't have time to rush off anywhere else.  

...And now he was regretting it.  

'Still not vegetables,' Samar replied drolly, jolting Aram from his internal debate.    
'Fruits are good too,' Aram murmured back, before doing a double take at the sight of the cart right beside Samar, 'and would you _stop_ stealing my cart?' Samar raised a wry eyebrow.  
' _Your_ cart _?'_  
'Our cart... _The_ cart. _Whatever_ ,' Aram gave a sigh of mock exasperation, 'I was pushing it, so would you stop walking off with it?'  
'What is it with men and having to push the cart?' Samar asked, not even trying to hold back a smirk, 'and I wouldn't push the cart if I didn't have to, you know I don't like doing it... But you keep walking off _without_ it, and leaving it at the end of the aisle.'  
'Since when do you lump me in with all other men?' Aram shot back with a hint of indignation, but instantly changed tactics when Samar rolled her eyes again, 'hey, I was going to go back to it. I just don't see the point in dragging it along while we walk up and down the aisle a hundred times, staring at the shelves.'  
'Because... If you leave the cart laying around the end of the aisle,' Samar chuckled in response, 'other people will walk into it.' Aram's face crumpled; _ok, maybe that was a good point_.    
'How about...' He began, pausing only to briefly frown as another twinge of nausea rocked his stomach, 'I'll stop leaving it laying around if you stop stealing it?'  
'Deal,' Samar chirped, noting the umpteenth uncomfortable frown of the evening but opting not to mention it. She had already asked a number of times if something was wrong, but Aram had repeatedly insisted that he was fine... Not that Aram could for the life of him figure out _why_ he was suddenly uncomfortable with the idea of sharing what was bothering him, besides the fact that he didn't want to worry her, but he was determined to get through whatever that probably-dodgy sandwich had done to his gut by himself, regardless... And so, Samar continued, still gazing indecisively at the options in front of them. 'How about mushy peas?' She suggested.

'I don't even like the _not_ mushy variant,' Aram said, scowling at the line of little glass jars filled with bright green mush as if just their existence in front of him was borderline offensive.    
'Yes, I _noticed_. But we're talking about Leila, not you.' Samar bit back a laugh as Aram shot her a withering look, and she amusedly held his gaze. 'What?' She quipped, shrugging nonchalantly, 'Liz said Sammy likes them, so maybe Leila will too.' Aram gave another sigh of mock exasperation, before thoughtfully furrowing his brow.  
'Aside from the idea of possibly ending up with my least favourite vegetable in my hair, wouldn't it be a little hypocritical of me if I had to feed Leila a vegetable I refuse to eat?' Aram paused, and did another double take as what Samar had said, actually registered in his brain. 'Wait a minute, you _noticed_ I don't like peas?'  
'It's a bit hard not to, when you keep picking them out of your dinner.'  
'Then why do you keep putting them _in_ the dinner?'  
'Because _I_ like peas, and _I'm_ the one who cooks.' Samar shook her head; _honestly, didn't he know that was how it worked?_ It wasn't as if she was forcing him to actually _eat_ the peas if he didn't want to. Samar pressed a quick, oh-so-innocent kiss to his cheek and then gestured back at the shelves in front of them; 'anyway, back on topic.'    
'I thought you wanted to _make_ the baby food, rather than buy it,' Aram observed, glancing back at her curiously.  
'I do, but this is good inspiration for different flavours...' She mused, 'and it's probably good to buy a few just in case too, for those times when we work long cases and don't have time to cook much else.' Aram nodded in understanding, and refocused his gaze on all the choices. It was surprisingly difficult to figure out which food, of _all_ the possibilities on earth, they should have Leila try next.   
'Hmm... Chicken, sweet corn and potato, then?' Aram curiously eyed the brightly coloured label, wondering just how much pre-packaged baby mush tasted like _actual_ food. Nonetheless, Samar nodded, took one jar from the shelf, and added it to the cart. 'Ooh, and beef casserole with spinach and carrots,' Aram pointed out, before shifting his gaze back to Samar and grinning approvingly. 'That sounds good too.' Samar added that to the cart too, and as soon as she turned to continue down the aisle and onwards through the supermarket, Aram quickly slipped a jar of the custard into the cart beside it.

Surely –and so long as _that_ didn't end up in his hair- he didn't have to deprive Leila of even the _occasional_ treat.

They rounded the corner out of the aisle, Aram quite contentedly pushing the cart once more, and Samar's lip quirked up.  
'Right, what's next on your list?' She asked, quite matter of factly. Aram hurriedly fumbled through his pockets, searching for that little slip of note paper on which he had written the list early in the morning, before even leaving for work. He could have sworn he had stuffed the list into his right trouser pocket as he ran out the front door behind Samar, but now it wasn't there. Aram switched sides, digging through his left trouser pocket, and then each of his jacket pockets... The list was nowhere to be found.  

'What, the god of all things technology didn't think to write his list on his phone?' Samar teased. The frown on Aram's face instantly vanished in favour of a smirk.  
'You just called me a god,' he chortled. Samar rolled her eyes again; of course, _that_ was the part of the sentence he would pick out.   
'Yeah, don't let it go to your head, or think you can change the topic,' she shot back. Aram ignored the next wave of nausea, and teasingly waggled his eyebrows instead.  
'Ok then, wise one who thinks she doesn't _need_ a list,' he began, 'what else do we need to get?'  
'You just called me the wise one,' Samar quipped, grinning back at him.   
'Uh huh, and don't let it go to your head... Or stall for time to remember what we're missing.' Aram raised an eyebrow in mock suspicion, and Samar narrowed her eyes in annoyance. She locked eyes with him, hurriedly trying to remember what else it was that they needed.  
'Bread,' she said quickly, and delighting in her apparent victory in the brief staring contest, 'we always need bread.'

...Or at least, it was one obvious staple that gave her time to think of all the others.

/*/*/*/*

The bickering in the supermarket continued all the way through their quest for groceries, only ceasing when a little, old lady standing nearby them and looking at cabbages happened to overhear, glance up with a smile, and sweetly ask how long they had been married. Needless to say, although the comment caused Aram to shift awkwardly on his feet and Samar to battle through her grimace in the name of sheer politeness, it didn’t take long for the teasing and bickering to start all over again as soon as they got through the checkout and started heading back to the car.  

Aram's nausea, abdominal pains and general discomfort continued –and slowly increased- too, but he was determined that it was nothing to worry about... That he should go to bed as usual, and he would feel better in the morning.  

...But as Aram awoke with a jump and had to double over in searing pain when he tried to walk to the bathroom, it was clear; things were not getting better... They were steadily getting _worse_.  

He leaned over the sink and splashed some cool water on his face, suddenly finding himself feeling uncharacteristically warm for early March, middle-of-the-night weather, before clasping a hand over his mouth and rushing across the small bathroom space to the toilet... The nausea was steadily worsening too. Somewhere in the back of his mind it registered that Samar had woken up to either the bathroom light or the sound of his movements and called out to him from the bedroom, but Aram didn't respond. It seemed like the bathroom was spinning in rapid circles around him. He stood there for a moment longer, grasping the countertop and trying to breathe slowly until the sensation of wanting to throw up passed, and the dizzy spell began to ease.    
'Aram...' Samar's quiet, sleepy voice sounded in his ears. He glanced across, still taking care to hold onto the countertop. There she was, leaning against the side of the doorframe, one hand trying to rub the last of the sleep from her eyes. 'What's wrong?'  
'Nothing, I'm... Fine,' he murmured back. Aram even surprised himself by just how shaky his voice sounded, despite the fact that he was struggling not to yell at the searing pain. Samar -now properly awake- frowned as she studied his face. She took a few steps into the bathroom to stand in front of him, softly resting her fingertips on his cheek.  
'No, you're not,' she observed, 'you look awful.' Aram turned his head to glance over her shoulder at the mirror; Samar wasn't kidding. He was so pale and ashen, there was no trace of the pink he would have expected considering how warm and flushed he felt. Samar's hand on his cheek moved to his forehead and her face contorted in concern; 'you're really warm too,' she added.   
'I'm fine,' Aram repeated, albeit weakly. Samar, on the other hand, ignored him, instead turning to rifle through the counter drawers until she found a thermometer. After a quick rinse in the sink –not that she hadn't done that after the last time she used it, but just to be safe anyway- she held it up expectantly. With a sigh, Aram took it from her.

They waited, staring at each other in a battle of wills.  

The thermometer beeped. Samar instantly took it from him, before Aram could even try to reach for it first.

'100.6,' she read aloud, before looking back up at him with one raised eyebrow. 'You're _not_ fine.'   
'So I have the flu that's been going around the Post Office, on top of food poisoning,' he protested, 'I'll survive.'   
'That's really _not_ how it works,' Samar said flatly, rolling her eyes. The bathroom began to spin again, and Aram couldn't help but immediately grasp onto her arm to stop himself from falling over. Samar reached out, wrapping her arms around his waist and holding him steady until the dizzy spell passed again. 'I'm pretty sure dizziness isn't a symptom of either the flu or food poisoning either,' she gently added. 'Why are you being so stubborn? I thought that was _my_ thing.' Aram managed a weak chuckle, and bowed his head in defeat.  
'I didn't want to worry you...' He trailed off, leaving the wordlessly understood ' _and I don't want you to fuss over me'_ still hanging in the air. Samar sighed and shook her head, knowing exactly what he meant. One hand rising to rest on his cheek once more, Samar pressed a gentle kiss to his lips.  
'Now you know how it feels,' she whispered back, but only teasingly. 'This isn't a one-way street, you know...' She paused, realising just how true that was; the sight of him looking so terrible made her feel more and more anxious and upset the more she thought about it. Samar steadied herself, earnestly holding his gaze. 'You worry about me, and I worry about you. Come on, we're going to the ER to get this sorted out.'   
'Do I get a choice?' Aram asked, but his face fell as Samar shot him a look the second he said it. Nonetheless, she took his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze as she tugged him along.   
'Don't ask silly questions,' she muttered back.  

/*/*/*/*

Aram really wasn't fine. All of ten minutes –maybe fifteen at the most, the clock on the wall really wasn't where Samar's main focus was centred- passed between presenting at triage, and being called through the Emergency Room and steered towards a bed. Blood was taken for testing, an ECG was run to check his heart _just_ in case –the nurse jokingly swearing in an effort to keep Aram cheerful, that it was a mandatory thing to check for any man his age, and _not_ because he was old- and then finally, the test to confirm exactly what Samar suspected. The nurse pressed down with her fingers on the right side of Aram's lower abdomen, then suddenly released. Aram instantly yelped in pain even louder than expected, making Samar jump where she stood by his bedside. She gritted her teeth and squeezed his hand again at the sight of his eyes instantly beginning to well up. Aram tried to hurriedly blink the tears back but it was no use. Samar has seen them and there was no questioning it; Aram was in utter agony.

That more or less confirmed it.

Not food poisoning, not the flu... Aram had appendicitis.  

And so began the anxious wait; the two hours of no food, no fluids other than those in the IV beside the antibiotics and medication to manage the pain, and the repeated observations of his blood pressure, pulse, and oxygen levels every half hour until a spot opened up in the operating theatres. Samar sat with him until Aram was wheeled away, and she was then redirected to the waiting room... For even _more_ anxious waiting.  

At least while waiting together, they had made small talk and bad jokes. Anything really, to distract each other from his pain and her worry as the clock ticked over... But now Samar had to wait alone, twiddling her thumbs as she sat in that uncomfortable plastic chair. The clock continued to tick over, so slowly now that it seemed time was going backwards. It was half past three in the morning, and no matter how hard she was trying to fight to stay alert and hear any news the second it was available, Samar's eyes began to droop...

_The devastated tears streamed down Samar's face after running into Maxwell's compound just ten minutes too late... He and his accomplices had fled just before the FBI stormed the building in the search for Aram. Why he had been allowed into the field with them before the scene was cleared, was something that made no sense in her mind; analysing the computers in the house was never that urgent... But then Aram was gone –taken by the man with the gun in the back yard, dragged into the van, and driven away. Samar fell to her knees on the filthy concrete floor, sobbing desperately by his side, and wondering... Just wondering, how on earth she was supposed to string together the words to tell Mehri and Naveed that their son was dead..._

Samar awoke with a horrified gasp and the orderly who had been tasked with gently shaking her shoulder to wake her, recoiled with a jump. Samar quickly twisted in that uncomfortable plastic seat, looking wildly around the room to remember where she was; the hospital. She had fallen asleep... And she'd had another nightmare; another terrifying 'what if' Maxwell nightmare, twisted and reversed by her worry while Aram was in surgery. She took a deep breath and then another, squeezing her eyes open and shut as she did so in an effort to steady herself.    
'Are you ok, Miss?' The orderly asked her, apparently still shaken just as she was, but by nearly having been struck by Samar's flailing fists as she woke from the demons taunting her dreams. Samar glanced up, meeting the orderly's gaze. _It was just a dream_ , she was trying to tell herself on the inside, _another scenario that won't happen. Aram's in the same building and he's going to be just fine_...    
'Uh, yeah...' She trailed off, before offering the orderly an earnest, apologetic nod, 'sorry about that.' The orderly shook his head, offering her a small smile.  
'Don't worry, it's far from the worst thing I've seen in this hospital,' he said softly. 'I was just coming to tell you that Mr Mojtabai is out of surgery now, and he's in the recovery ward. Once he's awake and moved to a regular ward, I can take you through to him.' Samar nodded slowly again, letting out a breath of relief.  
'Thank you,' she replied, her voice barely audible. The orderly nodded again and walked away, disappearing behind the swinging doors that visitors weren't allowed to wander through unaccompanied. Samar sank a little lower in her seat, wrapping her arms around herself, and still trying to steady her breathing. The nightmare was a shock, but so were the thoughts swirling around in anxious circles inside her brain; it was like an awful role reversal. For once Aram was the one to be worried about, and Samar had practically hurled herself down that path without a single second's hesitation –not that the worrying in itself surprised her, but the sheer _extent_ of it had her slightly stunned. Just as she had said ‘now you know how it feels’ to Aram earlier in the evening, now Samar knew exactly how it felt from Aram’s perspective too. The worry was almost as agonising as the pain itself, regardless of the fact that appendicitis _was_ a relatively simple thing to fix with modern medical science.

She shifted uncomfortably, grasping the soft, navy blue fabric of the sweater taken from Aram in the ER, tightly in her fingers for comfort. She didn't want to have to wait another hour or _however_ long it was until she could leave that waiting room, she just wanted to be there by his side, and see for herself that he was ok...

/*/*/*/*

Aram's eyes slowly flickered open for what felt like the umpteenth time. Between half-waking up and dozing off again a half hour into recovery, then waking up properly after the full hour, and the constantly being woken up for observations once transferred to the regular ward –half-hourly for the first two hours, before the standard four hourly observations could start- Aram felt like he had barely slept properly at all. He blinked a few times, staring blankly around the hospital room with its grey linoleum floor and its stark, white walls, before rolling his head on the pillow and glancing to his left. Samar had been sitting there every time he was woken, alert and focused on whatever the staff were doing to him. At one point, still half asleep himself, Aram had mumbled some sleepy order for her to rest, but Samar had quickly shaken her head, muttering about the waiting room and something not happening again. Aram hadn't thought much of it at the time, but now as he stared to his left, a small smile began to slowly work its way across his face.  

Samar was still there, but she was finally asleep... With her hand grasped tightly around his, her head leaning against the side of his mattress as she slumped forwards in her chair beside him, and most amusingly; she was wrapped in his sweater.  

Aram hadn't noticed that either, during any of the occasions he was woken up earlier. He gently freed his fingers from Samar's grasp, and brushed the loose hair off her face instead, causing her to begin to stir.  
'Hey, how long have you been awake?' She mumbled, lifting her head from the mattress to shoot him a tired, but no less warm smile.   
'About five minutes,' Aram murmured back.   
'How are you feeling?'  
'Better... Still awful, but nowhere near as awful as last night... Something to do with being dragged to the hospital to have that pesky, leaking appendix removed, I think.' Samar smirked, and Aram grinned, running his fingertips down her cheek and to her shoulder –and then tugging teasingly on his sweater. It practically hung from her relatively narrower frame. 'Nice addition to your wardrobe, by the way,' Aram said with a weary chuckle.   
'I got cold, and it was there,' Samar grumbled in response, albeit with a sheepish grin.  
'It suits you.'  
'You mean, because it's _yours?'_ She didn't steal his sweaters all that often, but on the rare occasions she did, Samar couldn't help but notice that Aram always seemed pleasantly amused by the idea.   
'Did I say that?' He asked curiously, gaping at her in mock horror –which Samar took to mean that yes, that was _precisely_ why he was so amused by seeing her in his clothes. 'Huh, I must still be high from that anaesthetic or the pain killers, or _something_... Because I'm hearing you say _crazy_ things.' Samar rolled her eyes and shook her head in mock exasperation, and Aram continued to simply grin to himself until Samar relented and leaned forward in her seat to affectionately tousle his hair.  

'I asked the doctor...' She finally spoke up again, after a brief pause, 'he said they want to keep an eye on you for a little while longer and give you some more antibiotics after that leak, but you should be able to go home on Monday.' Aram's face crumpled.  
'How much work do I have to miss?'   
'Besides Monday? I'm not sure, I haven't called Cooper yet. I was a little pre-occupied with calling your parents and Ressler, and then I feel asleep...' Samar furrowed her brow for a moment in a contemplative frown. 'Just be glad your appendix didn't rupture entirely.' Aram paused.  
'...You called my parents?' He asked warily, and Samar nodded.   
'Even when Leila's older and making her own way in the world, wouldn't you want to know about it if she wound up having emergency surgery?'

Aram paused again for the second time in as many minutes, knowing that was true no matter how much he hadn't wanted to worry his parents either.

...And then Samar's exact wording finally registered properly in his brain.  

'Oh, Leila!' He gasped, suddenly trying to sit up and look around the room in alarm, searching for her. Samar quickly rested her hand on his arm, trying to stop him from moving around too much and pulling his stitches.  
'She's still with Ressler,' Samar hurriedly reassured him.   
'Weren't we supposed to pick her up this morning?'  
'At ten thirty. It's only nine thirty now,' she released her grasp on his arm as that seemed to snap Aram out of his temporary panic, 'and when I called and told him what happened, he said he could drop her off here on his way to somewhere else, so I don't have to leave you to pick her up. It'll just be closer to midday instead, but that's fine.'   
'Oh...' Aram faltered for a second, 'that's thoughtful of him.'   
'You haven't heard the best part yet,' Samar said, with a wry smile, and Aram's eyes began to twinkle with mischief.  
'...She didn't splatter baby food all over his kitchen, did she?'  
'No, but apparently she ate everything I packed for her, even though I packed extra.'  
'So we're bracing for a growth spurt?'  
'Yep...' Samar began, 'and _apparently_ , Ressler took the liberty of adding baby food to _his_ grocery list, so he can just keep it in the cupboard and we don't have to pack it for him.'  
'Huh, that _is_ thoughtful of him,' Aram observed. Samar paused, smirking for a second before adding the final point;

'...And then he started complaining about there being too many to choose from at the supermarket.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up; 'Priorities'... Chapter 50!!!


	50. Priorities

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Thursday-Friday, March 16-17, 2017. 
> 
> Chapter 50! Never thought I'd get to this point, let me tell you... And yet, here we are! Enjoy!

'You're in a good mood this morning,' Aram noted with a wry smile, as Samar burst into the bedroom humming, now back from her early morning run. He had stepped out of the shower just five minutes earlier, right in time for Samar to return and reserve the bathroom for herself –the timing that had now become their standard morning routine.  

With a grin, Samar eyed Aram's only half-dressed state; trousers on, but his office shirt still untucked and unbuttoned. She took the few more steps across the room and stopped in front of him.

'It's Spring,' she said, quite happily, 'it's not too warm yet but the frosty edge is gone now. I had a good run, and Nowruz is right around the corner. What could be better?' Her hands toyed with the edges of his shirt, as Aram tipped his head forwards to plant a kiss on her cheek. 'Is Leila awake yet?' Samar added quietly. 'She started stirring when I woke up, but I settled her again before I left.'  
'Not that I've heard,' Aram whispered back. 'You didn't check when you came in?'  
'That was my next thing to do. I came in here on my way past to tell you I was back, and then you distracted me...'  
'I'm good at that.'  
'I know, and it's annoying,' she murmured teasingly in  his ear. A breath caught in his throat as Samar remained standing there, so close to him, and she let one hand slip under the edge of his shirt. She dropped her gaze, tilting her head slightly as she curiously studied the pink line across the side of his abdomen –the result of the trip to the Emergency Room nearly two weeks earlier.   
'What?' Aram asked, as a tiny, thoughtful grin began to cross her face. Samar glanced back to him, her lip quirking up in amusement.  
'We match now,' she observed. Aram raised a curious eyebrow, until Samar lifted the bottom edge of her black tank top to reveal one of her own scars, rolling her eyes as she did so.  

It was the scar from one of her earliest cases with the taskforce; the scar from being shot in the side after being infected with the plague at the airport.  

The confusion vanished from Aram's face and he nodded knowingly; he was familiar enough with all her scars now to find them without looking... He knew where each and every one of them was scattered across her skin, and he could trace those smooth, silver-y lines just by touch. This one in particular was on her lower left abdomen, an almost perfect mirror of his when they stood facing each other.    
'What does it say about us,' Samar began again, suddenly smirking, 'that while some couples have matching jewellery or get matching tattoos... We have matching scars?'  
'Hmm...' Aram thought about it for a second, an amused smile tugging at his lips, 'that we're original?' He guessed, shrugging nonchalantly.   
'I was thinking worryingly twisty and maybe kind of cheesy,' Samar chuckled back, 'but original works too.'  

The sound of her phone ringing jolted them both from the moment, and Samar quickly pulled it from her pocket.  

All traces of Samar's happiness disappeared the instant she saw the number and took three steps backwards to read the encrypted message where Aram couldn't see.    
'….What is it?' Aram asked slowly, his face contorting in concern. The only times Samar was that strict about him not looking at her phone was –understandably- when a call or message came through from Mossad, but they rarely resulted in such a sudden, stark change in her mood.   
'...Um...' Was all Samar could let out in response; her gaze remained focused directly at her phone, as she processed whatever it was she was reading.  

Both of their heads suddenly snapped up, as the sound of Leila waking and beginning to babble to herself then sounded through the baby monitor on the nightstand behind Aram –the cue that the hectic part of their day was about to start.  

They exchanged looks; Aram's sympathetic, and Samar's somewhat cautious and overwhelmed.  

Aram hurriedly did up his remaining buttons, then gestured to the half-open bedroom door.  
'How about... I sort out breakfast, and you have your shower,' he suggested gently, 'otherwise we're going to be late for work.' Samar nodded her agreement, and Aram darted out of the room, leaving her standing there. With a dejected sigh, Samar tossed her phone onto the nightstand in frustration, before turning and heading towards the bathroom. She ran her fingers anxiously through her hair, only barely managing a smile at the sound of Aram murmuring to Leila ringing through the baby monitor just as she closed the bathroom door behind her.  

There she had her answer to the question she had intended as rhetorical. _What could be better than the perfect weather for a run, and her favourite holiday being right around the corner?_

...Mossad _not_ wanting to call her in for a meeting to brief her and transfer her away indefinitely to another assignment.

/*/*/*/*

The chaos of the morning rush once Leila was awake ensued as it always did, leaving no time to even think about mentioning Mossad before they arrived at the Post Office. Samar remained quiet, trying to figure out why she was suddenly being transferred, and _what_ that was going to mean, but in the rush to work, the subsequent new case briefing from Reddington, and Cooper's prompt distribution of tasks, nobody thought to ask why she was suddenly even more reserved than usual... And Aram took the silence to mean that the contents of the mysterious message were classified, and she simply couldn't share them, so he didn't ask either. Plus, he was all too glad to be back at work again. One week off post-surgery wasn't too bad; Aram had enjoyed the brief break where he’d had the chance to take Leila around the Museum of Natural History and introduce her to the dinosaurs –insisting in all seriousness to Samar of course, that it was all because it was _never_ too early to start learning, and _not_ because he thought it was just funny- but by the end of the week, Aram was a little stir crazy.  

Samar simply took to her work with the same intense focus that Aram did, making the most of the distraction from her Mossad dilemmas until she had the chance to meet with her superiors and ask what the hell was going on.

It worked, _mostly_. It worked until Cooper came back down the stairs to the war room with a file in his hand, demanding in front of everyone to know why on earth Mossad was sending through transfer papers for him to sign off on when Samar hadn't given him the six weeks notice that she was leaving like she was supposed to.

And then it felt like everything was about to implode.

Ressler and Aram both instantly burst out with variations on the question of where she was going, what that meant for them, what was going to happen with Leila, and _why_ was it happening. Liz chimed in too, feeling somewhat betrayed by the idea that her closest friend hadn't mentioned wanting to leave.  

' _Guys_ ,' Samar spoke up, her voice rising louder than normal in an effort to capture their attention, 'I'm _not_ leaving.'  

The room fell so quiet, they could have heard a pin drop if the silence wasn't so deafening.

All of them stared back at her wordlessly, awaiting explanation.   
'Or at least, I don't want to. I only heard about it this morning and I still don't know where, or what's happening, or _why_ they're doing _that_ -' Samar gestured vehemently at the file in Cooper's hand that contained the transfer orders '-when _I_ haven't even been briefed yet.'  
'Wait a minute,' Ressler began, 'they _can't_ do that.'  
'Oh, _really?'_ Samar snapped in response, before suddenly wincing at the look on his face and realising that she sounded a little more harsh than intended. 'Sorry.' Ressler quickly shook his head, dismissing it entirely. Of course, Samar knew that wasn't how transfer orders were supposed to work _and_ they were all shocked.   
'Samar, these orders are very clear, they're transferring you to-' Cooper paused to flick through the pages in the file and read the next page while the others looked back at him expectantly. Cooper's brow furrowed in annoyance as he read the next line '-location classified, high priority.'  
'Well, that's helpful,' Liz huffed, rolling her eyes. Samar shot her a small grin.   
'I thought they weren't allowed to enforce mandatory transfers that force families to split up. No agency is,' Aram said, shifting his gaze back to Samar to give her a questioning look.   
'They're not,' she agreed. 'But as we've established... Leila and I are not linked to-' Samar let out a frustrated sigh as she glanced emphatically back and forth between Ressler and Aram '- _either_ of you on _paper_. So theoretically, Mossad can do whatever they want.' Aram's face crumpled again, and he stared bitterly at the array of pens that had scattered all over his desk when he stood up in alarm at Cooper's announcement and knocked over the pen holder.    
'Another thing you didn’t think of?' Ressler grumbled.  
'Why would I?' Samar scoffed, 'they told me my status as on loan to the FBI was indefinite so long as Reddington was an informant.'

Silence fell across the room once more as everyone shifted uncomfortably on the spot, not knowing where to go from there.  

'Go to your meeting with your commanding officer at Mossad tomorrow morning,' Cooper finally broke the silence, 'and in the meantime I'll make some calls and see if we can get this figured out... The rest of you, get back to work. You still have a case.' Samar gave an appreciative nod before joining the others in bowing her head and going back to respective desks. Cooper turned and hurried back to his office, muttering to himself about Mossad's increasing lack of cooperation in recent months.  

/*/*/*/*

The awkwardness continued to linger in the air for the rest of the day. Liz at least, seemed sympathetic, but Ressler continued to alternate between suspicious and annoyed, and all the while Aram remained quiet as he contemplated the greater significance of Samar potentially being shuttled off halfway across the world to who-knows-where.  

Needless to say, as Samar saw him scurry across the war room towards the copy room later in the afternoon, she decided to follow.    
'Hey,' she said softly, closing the door behind her. Aram glanced up and gave her a half-hearted smile.  
'Hey back,' he muttered. Aram dropped his eyes back to the copy machine and bitterly gritted his teeth.  
'You know I don't want this, right?' Samar spoke up again, the determination now far clearer in her voice. ‘I don’t want to leave.’ Aram paused, ceasing his pushing of buttons on the machine to stare at the ground, and carefully considering his words for a second before finally looking up again to meet her gaze.  

'You could have Ressler file for paternity like he wanted to...' Aram said slowly, still trying to hold his annoyances at bay. 'Then you could protest the transfer on family grounds.'  
'That will only cause other problems later down the track,' Samar sighed, 'and can we _not_ keep resorting to that as a solution to every problem? It's bad enough that it hangs over our heads as a threat, without having to ask him to do it to _help_ us.'    
'Hey, I'm just trying to make sure no option is left off the table here, so we don't end up separated!' Aram snapped, his voice finally rising. Samar's eyes widened in surprise at the level of frustration in his voice.   
'Don't make _me_ the bad guy,' she shot back, 'I didn't _ask_ for this to happen!' She watched, perplexed, as Aram abruptly returned his attention to the copy machine. There was an uncharacteristic amount of force with which he hit the buttons, and then tugged the printed pages from the side. It bothered him, and there was no hiding it.  

'You should have told me this morning,' he finally muttered, still focusing his gaze intently on switching over the pages in the machine that needed to be copied, 'when you got that first message.'  
'Aram-' Samar began. Her head began to tilt a little in regret, but Aram cut her off nonetheless, finally turning to face her once more.  
'-No, I _know_ it's classified and you're not supposed to share those details,' Aram continued, wringing his hands as he spoke, 'but this is different. This is _us_ , Samar. It wasn't just a message to tell you that you have to go away for a day or two, it was a message to say that you have to move away, _permanently_. That affects _me_ , too.'    
'I know, I was going to tell you after my meeting... Once I knew more details of what was going on. I didn't expect that they were going to send orders through to Cooper just hours after I got the message, normally that _never_ happens.' She shook her head in disappointment and Aram let out a sigh.  
'It's not finding out from Cooper that bothers me... It's the idea that we can't deal with this properly as a couple if you don't tell me what's going on.'  
' _I_ barely know what's going on,' Samar exclaimed.  
'What if you have to move away, and you're not allowed to tell me where?' Aram bit his lip, desperate to keep his calm... But he couldn't. He was too scared, too upset about the worst possibilities. His voice began to rise again, and his questions came faster and faster the more frantic he became. 'How are we supposed to keep in contact when I can't even know what time zone you're in, to know when to call? And what about Leila? Samar, I don't want to lose _either_ of you.'  
' _This_ is why I didn't want to have this conversation yet,' Samar hurriedly interjected. There was an anxious pit digging itself in her stomach as she spoke; everything was spiralling too fast for her to control, and the worry that they were about to be torn apart was all too much to bear but regardless, she was determined to battle through it and not let it get to her until she absolutely had to. 'For all we know, they'll tell me tomorrow where it is that I'm going. For all we know, I might have a chance at fighting this. There's no point in panicking before we know exactly what problems we have to deal with.' She paused as Aram gave a small nod, recognising what she was saying even if it still bothered him. 'And for the record, in the worst case scenario where I do have to move and take Leila with me, I'd still tell you where I am, even if I wasn't supposed to. I wouldn't just take Leila and disappear. I don't want to lose _you_ either.'

Aram sighed again. Another moment of silence fell between them and it was mutually understood; they were both just as scared as each other. Neither of them wanted their family to be pulled apart forever.  

'Don't think this means I'm not still annoyed at you...' He eventually grumbled, 'you still should have told me there was a risk, but...' Aram trailed off, suddenly lurching forwards to wrap his arms around her and pull her in as close as he possibly could, burying his face in her hair as she rested hers against his shoulder.   
'We're going to fight this,' she murmured to him, 'together.'

/*/*/*/*

Aram sat at the dinner table, alternating between staring at his laptop and scouring through the file with Samar's transfer orders –not that she, nor Cooper, understood why when Aram asked to see them, but he was _so_ determined to get to the bottom of the mystery that neither of them refused the request... Even if the file _was_ beyond Aram's clearance level. Samar meanwhile, busied herself with tidying every inch of the apartment she could reach; trying to distract herself from the stress with the Spring cleaning in preparation for Nowruz.  

They were both quiet and uneasy as they continued to await the verdict of the next morning's meeting, but at least now their annoyances with each other were fading as the evening wore on.  

'Samar...' Aram curiously spoke up, not taking his eyes off the file in front of him.    
'Mmm?'   
'Hypothetically speaking, if I were to break a variety of international laws and get caught... You'd still stand by me, right?' Samar turned slowly from where she stood in front of the living room bookshelf, returning all the various things they had both left scattered around the couch and the coffee table, to their rightful places. She turned, both curious and alarmed by Aram's question and the slow, oh-so-innocent way with which he said it.  
'What exactly are you doing?' She asked suspiciously, and just as slowly –almost wondering if really, she didn't actually want to know the answer.  
'Nothing...' Aram continued in his mischievous faux-innocence, finally glancing up over the top of his laptop to meet her wary gaze. 'I'm just wondering what would happen if I _hypothetically_ did something. Seeing as, you know, if you don't know that I did something for sure, then you're _technically_ not a witness to my doing whatever that something is.' Samar's lip quirked up in amused understanding.  
'Ok then... What are you _hypothetically_ doing?' Aram gestured to the file on the table in front of him.  
'Some of the details in this don't add up. I want to know where these orders came from.'  
'So, you want to hack into Mossad and trace it back?' Aram tried desperately to suppress a grin.   
'...Of course not,' he chirped, 'that would be highly illegal, and probably cause an international incident. But I _could_ hypothetically give it a go.'  
'Well... Seeing as you never saw these _highly_ classified orders-' Samar raised a wary eyebrow '-right?' Aram nodded adamantly. 'Then hypothetically speaking you could never be accused of hacking into Mossad because you never noticed things that didn't add up and therefore, had no reason to even _consider_ hacking Mossad's records.'  

There was a pause... Aram opened his mouth to respond and then hesitated, momentarily confused.

'Ok, I'm lost. That was too much hypothesising... Are you saying you're ok with me doing this, or...?'  
'I'm not saying anything,' Samar commented, turning her back to him once more and placing a few more items back on the shelf. 'I have absolutely no idea what you're doing over there, remember?'  
'Right. I'll take that as meaning I can-' Samar quickly glanced back over her shoulder, shooting him a warning look, and Aram instantly changed tracks '-I can totally email my parents some more photos of Leila right now.'  
'That won't hold up in court, you'll be missing the timestamped digital trail,' Samar muttered back quietly.  
'...And I'm also reading what Doctor Google says about infant developmental milestones.' They both grinned to themselves as Aram returned to his illegal investigating, and Samar to her tidying.  
'Let me know if you learn anything new.'

/*/*/*/*

Samar paced back and forth in the corridor outside her commanding officer's office at Mossad's covert headquarters in Georgetown. No matter how jovial she and Aram had tried to be during the evening, there was no denying the underlying stresses that troubled them both. Samar had barely slept; instead spending the night tossing and turning as the worst case scenarios spiralled in the back of her mind. This was a threat to the life she was trying to build now, more so than Ressler's ever was. She took a deep breath, and then another, smoothing down the sides of her blazer as she did so.

' _These orders didn't go through standard channels_ ,' Aram had told her earlier that morning, as she had instead fussed over his breakfast and tried to figure out whether or not he had remembered to take his last round of antibiotics. ' _I can't figure out where they did come from, but there's something odd going on. If you question it enough and they look into it, we might have a chance_...'

Samar ran those words over and over in her mind. ' _We might have a chance_...' She reached the end of her steps in one direction and turned, then pacing straight back in the opposite direction for what felt like the millionth time since being told to wait five minutes earlier. The anxious pit in her stomach continued to dig itself deeper and deeper, and the longer she waited, the smaller she felt stuck in that unnecessarily long, marble-floored corridor with its windows that Samar had always thought were far too large to be safe for a regional intelligence agency headquarters. She paused for a moment, wondering if the glass was bulletproof and by extension, why she had never thought to ask that before. She scowled to herself and shook the thought from her mind; she had more important things to worry about.

' _We might have a chance..._ '

'Agent Navabi,' a familiar voice rang out from behind her, jolting Samar from both her internal rambling and her pacing. She took a breath and steeled herself, forcing away all traces of concern from her face in favour of something more calm and neutral –and more professional. She turned on the spot, once again facing the heavy wooden door to the office that was opposite to the corridor's window side, and her commanding officer now standing there, holding it open for her. 'Would you like to come on in?'

Without a word, Samar gave a small nod and followed him inside.

/*/*/*/*

The elevator doors to the war room rumbled open in Samar's face. She stepped out cautiously, heading straight towards the huddle around Aram's desk as the team appeared to be engrossed in his latest discovery. They all glanced up as she came to a slow stop beside the edge of the desk, watching and waiting to find out what was happening.  

Samar's face was hard to read.

'So?' Liz began warily, 'what's the verdict?'  
'Mossad is launching an immediate investigation into figuring out who hacked into their personnel records,' Samar said, quite simply; her tone as neutral and hard to read as the expression on her face. Samar glanced sideways to Aram, eyeing him for a moment, and his face suddenly crumpled in terror.  
'That's the assignment they want to transfer you to?' Ressler asked, with a flash of confusion... And Samar quickly broke into a grin.   
'No...' She shook her head, 'that's the result of someone trying to set up an unauthorised transfer order and someone else letting it slip through the cracks without picking it up earlier.'   
'Wait, you're not leaving?' Liz gasped. Samar shook her head no. Liz broke into a delighted grin, Ressler clasped a hand over his mouth in relief... And Aram couldn't stop himself from lurching forward to pull her into his embrace once more.   
'That's it? It's just some big miscommunication and all they're saying is that they're looking into it?' Ressler eventually spoke up again, furrowing his brow in disbelief. All Samar could do as she slowly pulled away from Aram's grasp, was shrug curiously.   
'Well... They did point out that I do still have to do temporary side assignments again now that Leila's a little older, but they apologised for the error at least.' She paused, suddenly smirking again; 'and they're cutting down on the number of operatives they have in the area in general, but they've confirmed that you're stuck with me here so long as you're stuck with Reddington too.'

Ressler shook his head; _whoever would have thought that he would be so relieved to be stuck with Raymond Reddington?_  

He clapped her on the shoulder before wandering away from the desk, reluctantly heading back to his case files, and leaving Samar, Aram, and Liz to themselves.

'I saw Levi over there,' Samar added quietly, 'he was furious that the orders went through that far with nobody picking up on them being an error until I questioned it.'  
'The rest of us aren't exactly pleased about it either,' Aram remarked, but grinned all the same. It was hard not to; he was all too relieved.  
'The funny thing is though,' Samar noted, as a more contemplative expression etched its way across her face, 'I would never have questioned a transfer order before now... Before Leila. I would have just gone wherever they told me to go. I've done that plenty of times before.' But, Liz simply smiled.  
'And to think you once told me you didn't want to be a mother because you wanted to focus on your career,' she teased. Samar tipped her head and let out a soft chuckle.  
'There's been a certain blending of priorities since then...' She conceded. They exchanged knowing looks before Liz too, clapped her on the shoulder. Priorities had changed not just for Samar, but for all of them throughout the course of the taskforce's operations thus far.  
'The world works in mysterious ways,' Liz murmured cryptically. Samar nodded her agreement as Liz walked away, also headed back to a pile of case files stacking up on her desk. Samar shifted her gaze back to Aram, still grinning with contentment.   
'Let's not question the world's mysterious ways in this case though,' he suggested teasingly. ‘I’m just glad you’re staying.’

Samar shook her head, smiling softly... She definitely wasn't going to question it either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm... I'm curious to see what you all take away from this chapter... *Rubs hands together in evil glee*
> 
> Next up; 'Escapades'!


	51. Escapades

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Friday-Sunday, March 24-26, 2017.
> 
> Ok so, yep this chapter is posted a little earlier than usual! It's both a bonus, and an apology, I guess. I have a crazy few weekends all coming up in a row, so I'm not sure if I'll have time on the Sunday mornings (my time) to post as I usually do. I figured, may as well post this one now instead! So if on the next couple of weekends, there's no new chapter up when you usually see it, never fear. It'll be posted asap because I still like putting a new one up every week.
> 
> Plus, Leila's birthday in real time is coming up this week! As I did for Sammy's, I might just post a bonus chapter in her honour, but it does fall on a Tuesday so if I post this one today, it spaces them out a little bit.
> 
> Fun sidenote for this chapter; the entire phone-ransom-email mess in this one is inspired by a very similar situation I had a few weeks ago with my pal NamelesslyNightlock... It is possible I get up to way too many shenanigans when I have free time on my hands...

**_FRIDAY..._ **

'Uhhhh....' Aram suddenly began. He took a step back from his desk, digging through his trouser pockets, then his jacket pockets all in a frenzy, and even glancing down to the floor.

He couldn't find his cell phone.

It wasn't in his pockets. It wasn't dropped on the floor by his feet or under his desk. Aram panned his gaze across the particularly chaotic mess that lived on his desk for the moment, but the phone wasn't there either. Now frantic, Aram shifted his gaze around the war room, trying to backtrack in his mind everywhere he had been since arriving earlier that morning with his phone right there in his hand as he had stepped out of the elevator.  

Samar swivelled around in her own desk chair, eyeing him curiously as he stood there with a look of utter panic on his face.

'What's wrong?' She asked cautiously. Aram looked up and met her gaze, his eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights. He couldn't have lost his phone, _surely_. He _needed_ that phone. That phone had all his contacts, his emails, his photos, and... Even his shopping list now, since having lost _that_ too. Sure, he could access all that information from other devices, but it was all _together_ on his phone... That one, technological lifeline that was usually right there in his pocket.  
'Um,' Aram stuttered back, 'have you seen my phone?'

Samar paused, not knowing whether to laugh or grimace. Of all the people in the Post Office to lose their phone, Aram was probably going to be more distraught about the idea than anyone else.  

'No.... But,' Samar stood slowly as she spoke as calmly as she could muster in an effort to ease Aram's panic before it started. She crossed the war room, taking those few steps towards him and trying to steer him back to his desk chair. 'Where do you last remember seeing it?' Aram sat down, his eyes staring blankly at his desk as he tried to think back again.  
'I definitely had it when we got here... I _think_ I had it with me in the break room when I made coffee but after that, I don't remember.' Aram buried his face in his hands as he continued to mumble miserably; 'and it had those photos of Leila I took the other day that I haven't emailed to Mom yet... But I haven't backed up my phone since last week.'  

Finally, Samar grimaced. Aram took backing up his devices far more seriously than the rest of them as it was. He didn't need cause to take it even _more_ seriously.  

'Ok, well...' Samar let out a small sigh, 'it has to be around here somewhere, right?'  

/*/*/*/*

Nearly an hour passed. Between case work and meetings, the whole team was recruited to look for Aram's phone... But to no avail. Aram returned miserably to his desk, rerouting all his calls to his desk phone –which, as Ressler unhelpfully pointed out, was where his business calls were _supposed_ to be going anyway- and berating himself under his breath for being so careless. Otherwise though, they all had to go back to work.

Ressler was busily conducting interrogations. Samar and Liz had a few interviews of a suspect's friends, relatives and co-workers to do, and they didn't have long to make fresh cups of coffee in the break room before having to leave Aram alone in his misery.  

Liz turned from the break room counter with the little, now-empty sugar sachets in her hand, ready to dump them in the trash can... When suddenly, a familiar ring sounded faintly in their ears; a ring so familiar, because it was _Aram's_ ringtone. Liz hurriedly looked around the room. Samar did the same. The ringtone ceased too quickly; it only rang four times before going to voicemail... Which wasn't enough to figure out where exactly in the room it was coming from. Samar pulled her own phone out of her pocket and quickly dialled, calling Aram's phone and making the ringtone sound again. She wandered slowly, deliberately around the room, trying to trace the sound... But from every corner of the room, that frustrating ringtone seemed to move. Samar dialled again, and again, searching around the room, now completely irritated by the idea that the damn phone was so close and yet, so far. Liz even crouched down on the floor, looking under the table and chairs, and even under the fridge in case the phone had fallen and slid underneath.

But it was no use; the phone continued to ring, but they couldn't find it anywhere.

With a sigh, Liz threw her hands in the air in defeat, and returned to the trash can, ready to dump those sugar sachets and leave once and for all... And then, she froze. A wide grin broke across her face as she stared down into the contents of the trash.  
'Now what?' Samar chuckled. She peered over Liz's shoulder to look into the trash for herself, and instantly broke into a grin of her own.  
'I think I found Aram's phone,' Liz chirped. Samar bit her lip to stop herself from laughing as she reached down into the trash, and gingerly retrieved the phone from where it sat nestled in between a scrunched up brown paper bag, and crumbling, half-eaten blueberry muffin. No wonder it had been difficult to trace the sound; with the muffling of the trash around the phone, the sound could have come from anywhere. With two fingers Samar held the phone over the sink, brushing off the crumbs stuck to the screen, before moving to tuck it into her jeans pockets.. But Liz stopped her. 'Hold on,' she said, her eyes twinkling and her amused grin contorting into something far more mischievous. 'If we've had to turn the room upside down looking for that thing, _and_ go trash can diving to fish it out... I think we should have some fun with the whole situation, don't you?' Samar raised a wry eyebrow, glancing back and forth between Liz and the phone still in her hand.  
'What did you have in mind?'

/*/*/*/*

Aram sat at his desk, still intermittently grumbling to himself as he worked and tried to push the irritated thoughts of his missing phone out of his mind. Samar and Liz -after a brief stop by Liz's office- had left for their interviews some ten minutes earlier, with nothing more than a casual wave and a 'we'll be back later'.  

An email popped up on his screen, and Aram instantly furrowed his brow in confusion.

It was an email from Liz –not impossible, seeing as she had _her_ phone, and Samar was probably the one driving... But it was certainly unusual for Liz to be sending him emails from the car. Nonetheless, Aram opened it... And then his eyes went wide in surprise.

' _Aram,_

_Using our utterly fabulous detective skills, Agent Navabi and I have unearthed the hiding place of your handheld telecommunications device.  
It was a quest that required considerable amounts of effort (by which I mean to say, Agent Navabi had to call it some dozen times to trace the sound, because the pesky beast thought it was amusing to alter its taunting cries for assistance so they sounded like they came from somewhere else every time we moved locations... Akin to a naughty child cheating at a game of hide and seek by not staying in one place) but no matter, it has been found and rescued from its peril; INSIDE A TRASH CAN. _

_Attached are two photos as proof of life._

_As payment for our efforts to retrieve it, we will accept ransom in the form of two large chocolate bars._

_The ball is in your court._

_Love, Liz. Xoxo_ '

Still gaping slightly in surprise -and mild horror- Aram glanced at the attached photos; the first was of his phone in the trash can, and what appeared to be Samar's hand reaching for it. The second was a photo of the phone held up –presumably in Samar's hand again- with the screen lit, revealing the time, date, and the noted fourteen missed calls. Proof of life, indeed... Aram paused for a moment to wonder just how much input Samar had into the writing of the email or rather, _ransom note_ , but then quickly shook the idea from his head. It didn't matter. It _was_ a very well-written and amusing ransom note –even Aram had to admit that- but that didn't change the fact that they were now holding his phone _hostage_. Though at least... Now _someone_ knew where it was and he would get it back _eventually_. With a sigh, Aram began to type back;

' _Liz,_

_Haha, very funny. Where is it?_

_Aram_.'

Some time passed before a response came through -undoubtedly Liz and Samar were busy with their first interview- and then finally, another email popped up.

' _Aram,_

_We demanded ransom. We're not silly enough to tell you where your phone is without knowing for sure that the ransom has been paid._

_Liz_.'

By this point, Aram was over his annoyances and simply relieved to know his phone was safe. Well... _Relatively_ safe, given the circumstances. His lip twitched in ever so slight amusement at the fact that yes, as he had suspected, Liz did appear to be the lead hostage-taker and ransom-demander –though without the knowledge that as Liz had written the latest email between interviews, Samar had smirked and asked if the ransom was really necessary, and Liz had promptly quipped back that her birthday was in a couple of days and yes, chocolate was _always_ necessary- Aram opened his bottom desk drawer and pulled out the digital camera that for some reason, he was supposed to keep in there despite having never used it before. He scurried away to the break room, to Liz's office, and then back again... Before plugging the camera's memory chip into his computer and tapping away at his keyboard to respond;

' _Liz,_

_Please see receipt of ransom attached. Fresh cups of coffee on both of your desks, awaiting your return._

_Aram_.'

The receipt of ransom of course, being photos of the coffee cups in question on both their desks. Aram waited, still fielding phone calls to and from his desk phone and analysing evidence brought back from a crime scene much earlier in the day... Until Liz's response finally appeared.

' _Aram,_

 _The coffee looks great, but we demanded_ **_chocolate_** _._

 _Liz_.'

Rolling his eyes, Aram conceded defeat and headed for the vending machine in the break room, camera still in hand. At the very least, chocolate was not a particularly expensive ransom. Placing a Kit Kat next to the coffee cups on each of their desks, and then taking another round of photos, Aram returned to his desk and sent those off to Liz as well.

Another email popped up... But it wasn't a response from Liz. Aram narrowed his eyes as he opened it, wondering why on earth his _mother_ was now emailing him too.

/*/*/*/*

Finally, Liz and Samar returned –and _delighted_ in the coffee and free chocolate. With a chuckle and a sheepish grin, Liz –with half her Kit Kat still in hand as well- stopped next to Aram's desk. Samar stood next to her, rolling her eyes as Liz handed Aram's cell phone over and he took it, his relief resembling a vaguely _loving_ expression as he checked it over and returned it safely to his pocket.  
'Oh, by the way...' Liz started, suddenly grinning again. 'Your mom called. We had a _great_ conversation with her while we were traveling between interviews.' Aram shook his head and gave a sigh of mock exasperation.  
'So I heard,' he grumbled back –albeit only jokingly, 'she got in on the ransom demand too. I had to send her flowers.'

/*/*/*/*

**_SUNDAY..._ **

Liz's mischievous, good mood continued all the way through until her birthday, with only occasional, and sudden, quiet moments in between. Samar and Aram were starting to wonder if it was in fact, _partly_ forced in order to mask the fact that something else was on Liz's mind again. She just seemed ever so slightly _too_ sporadic in her wide smiles and her eyes beginning to wander contemplatively at the strangest of moments. Not even Samar could pick the pattern. Nevertheless, she and Aram agreed to stick to their observations; Liz was seemingly too determined to enjoy her birthday, and their questions could easily wait for another day.  

In the meantime, a Sunday morning breakfast out at a café that remained an old favourite of Liz's -despite having let her routine of stopping by every couple of weeks fall away, and not having been there again since before Sammy was born- was her chosen celebration... And so there they all were, cheerfully seated around the rustic, wooden square table, waiting for their order to be served. Even Ressler was invited –Cooper too, in fact, but he was otherwise preoccupied with a weekend outing with Charlene.  

It had been some time since they placed their order -more than Liz was used to waiting at that particular café- but nobody was particularly fazed. Sammy and Leila were all smiles too, as they scored cuddles all the way around the table before having to be tucked into their high chairs once the food arrived. For the moment Liz was pulling silly faces at Leila, while Ressler blew raspberries on Sammy's cheeks –both of them babbling and giggling in delight at the attention.  

The fact that the tables around them who ordered _after_ them still somehow managed to have their food served _first_ , escaped everyone's attention...

...Or at least, it _did_. Eventually, and one by one, they managed to divert their attention from the two little ones, and glance around the café with brows curiously furrowed. Finally, it was starting to feel like the time since placing their breakfast orders had been a while.  

Ressler waved over one of the waitresses. Samar, Aram, and Liz all glanced around the café in confusion. It took all of ten seconds to note the pattern and go from their good moods to unanimously uncomfortable; the tables that received their orders first were young couples or small business groups meeting for brunch. The other two tables still waiting for their food –and notably, they were the same two tables that had arrived before the brunch meetings too- were the only other two tables in the entire café with young children.  

'I don't remember this place being so snobby,' Liz whispered to Samar next to her, as the waitress Ressler had flagged down began to cross the café and head towards them. Samar and Aram both shot Liz sympathetic looks.  
'You did say it's been a while since you came here last...' Samar muttered back. 'You haven't been here with Sammy before, have you?' Liz shook her head, frowning slightly as she thought back. In fact, the more she thought about it, the last few times she was there Liz hadn't even paid attention to whether or not anyone else in the café had children, simply because she'd had no need to... It was amazing, how different her perspective was now. She tried to shake the idea from her mind, focusing her attention instead on Ressler talking to the waitress, and pointing out that two of the business groups had arrived at least fifteen minutes _after_ them and yet, they had their food already.   
'Actually, you know what?' She suddenly piped up before the waitress even had time to respond to Ressler's complaint, 'can we change our order and get our food to-go?' The waitress, startled by the sudden interruption, hesitated for a second before quietly nodding and scurrying away to speak to her manager. The other three turned in their chairs to look expectantly at Liz. 'What?' She said, shrugging her shoulders nonchalantly. 'It's my birthday, and I don't want to spend it being eyeballed by the staff here just for being _finally_ happy with the way my life is going. There's a park across the street, with a playground... I'm pretty sure there's a picnic table or two as well. It's cold, but we're all rugged up, so... Why not?'

That was all it took to convince the others, despite the fact that they all noticed the particular stubbornness with which Liz emphasised her words. They rose from the table, heading towards the front counter to wait for their order.

The manager stood by the counter, failing at forcing a smile and an apology as she charged them a discounted price for the food... But Liz couldn't be bothered dignifying the rudeness with a response; she was far too insistent on making the most of her day instead.

/*/*/*/*

Huddled around the creaking picnic table across the street for warmth –with Aram cracking jokes about them being like penguins as they did so- the kids nestled on their laps, and the food at least still as good as Liz remembered, the park seemed to have succeeded in quickly bringing about the return of Liz's smile.   
'Mamamamamama,' Sammy babbled quite happily to herself as she tried to reach forwards for the remnants of Liz's small, takeaway tub of raspberry jelly. Liz grinned a little wider, pushing the tub just out of Sammy's reach.  
'Oh, look who's starting to find her words,' Ressler observed, with an awestruck grin of his own as he watched Sammy still babbling away and not paying the rest of them any attention.   
'That started a couple of days ago,' Liz quietly murmured in response. Her eyes flickered closed for a moment as she smiled warmly and pressed a kiss to the top of Sammy's head. Samar narrowed her eyes for a moment, her and Aram both noting to themselves that Liz's mind was momentarily wandering again. Nonetheless, her head quickly snapped upwards again, and she grinned knowingly at Samar. 'Something for you to look forward to with Leila in a few weeks or so, I guess.'   
'Babababababababababa,' Sammy babbled again. Leila giggled in response to the noise. Liz -as she shifted a little sideways on the bench so that Sammy was closer to Leila- seemed intent on making the most of her day, so with a shared, silent look between Samar and Aram they agreed wordlessly; they were going to keep an eye on her, but for the moment their efforts were probably better focused on making sure her birthday breakfast out was as fun as she had wanted.  

With that in mind, Aram jumped up from his position on the bench across the picnic table from Samar, and circled around the table to pick Leila up off her lap.

'Come on,' he chirped, shivering slightly, 'running around the playground should warm us up.'

Leila nestled in one arm, Aram headed straight for the playground. Liz, with a hint of amusement, immediately followed with Sammy. Samar and Ressler exchanged wary looks, before following too –albeit much slower. That early in the morning, the only other people in the park were an elderly couple taking a stroll along the grass. Aram meanwhile, clambered straight up the tiny ladder on the side of the playground, looking much like a giant as he stood on the child-sized platform at the top. With his free hand, he gave a mock salute to Samar from the small amount of height the platform actually gave him –to which, she rolled her eyes in response- before sitting himself down at the top of the slide.   
'Is he really doing what I think he's doing?' Ressler chuckled quietly to Samar as they both watched him –and Liz too, standing at the bottom of the ladder not far behind him, awaiting her turn. Samar simply shrugged in response, her lip twitching a little as she quietly observed. The slide was far too narrow, seeing as it was designed for _children_ , but Aram didn't even bat an eyelid at that. He settled Leila carefully on his lap, with both arms around her so she didn't fall off, before shuffling forward until the slide's momentum took over and down they went.  

Aram chuckled to himself as Leila squealed with delight, and even Samar couldn't stop herself from cracking a small smile –even more so again as Liz then promptly climbed up onto the platform and took Sammy down the slide too.

At the bottom of the slide, Aram's feet hit the sand and in one single, fluid motion, he rose... Standing up again before truly coming to a stop. He grasped Leila around the middle as he moved, going from sliding to flying her through the air like an airplane... _And_ making all the necessary sound effects. Needless to say, Liz followed; her smile far more genuine once again as they ran through the sand and the grass, and not paying any attention to anything else.  

'Oh, that's _so_ sweet,' the voice of the elderly woman jolted both Samar and Ressler from their amused observations as she and her husband strolled along the grass past them both. The elderly couple stood beside them just for a moment, watching Liz and Aram both still running around, before the woman turned towards Ressler again and gave him a warm smile. 'Your little girl looks just like you,' she said, nodding sagely as they began to walk again.   
'Uh,' Ressler began, glancing hurriedly –and warily- back and forth between Samar by his side and Leila being flown through the air by Aram. Leila was a mix of them both, but she was _far_ from being described as looking _just_ like Ressler...  But then, as Ressler shifted his gaze back to the elderly woman again, he noted that it wasn't Leila she was watching over her shoulder... It was _Sammy_.

Sammy, who had blue eyes like Liz, and blonde hair like Katarina –and not all too dissimilar to Ressler.  

'Oh, no,' Ressler started again, 'Sammy's not my-' he cut himself off, shaking his head, '- _she's_ not my daughter.' The elderly couple shot him a curious look but nevertheless continued on their way, too focused on watching the escapades of Aram and Liz to worry about questioning Ressler's response. Ressler and Samar too -albeit somewhat awkwardly- pushed the idea to the backs of their minds as Aram and Liz promptly zoomed closely past them –both having apparently overheard the elderly woman's comment, but choosing instead to ignore it. Samar stumbled back a step or two as they rushed past her, and reached backwards for the edge of the swing set behind her to stop herself from falling any further. She paused, furrowing her brow curiously for a moment as she realised exactly what it was she had grasped onto... Tilting her head thoughtfully, Samar took another step back and slowly sat down on one of the swings; rocking back and forth only as far as she could while leaving the tips of her toes trailing along the ground below. Ressler remained standing just to the side, watching both little ones like a hawk. Aram and Liz zoomed past again, both of them finally coming to a slow stop as they noted Samar now perched so casually on one of the swings.  

Liz sat down on the other swing, balancing Sammy just as carefully on her lap as she had done at the top of the slide. Aram broke into a wide smile, instantly flashing back to when he had showed Samar the park in the town he grew up in. He held Leila out to her, prompting Samar to take her from him... All the while Ressler continued to watch on curiously.   
'Leila's a little bigger now,' Aram gently prompted her again, remembering their own conversation had on the swings. With a small, reflective smile that now seemed to match Liz's exactly, Samar settled Leila on her knees just as Liz had done with Sammy. Aram took a step back, standing beside Ressler again and watching them both, as Samar wrapped one arm around Leila and began to slowly swing back and forth, her tip toes still brushing along the sand.  

Perhaps Liz wasn't the only one with things on her mind now... But as Samar reached across to gently rest her hand around Liz's where it held onto the ropes of the swing, it was understood; they were all there together. It was still a good day. They shared small smiles as Samar finally spoke again;  
'Happy birthday, Liz.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, the return of Ressler's mother. Well... In a particularly unfortunate manner of speaking... And finally cause for Ressler and Samar to resolve some of their issues once and for all, in 'Consequences'.
> 
> Sidenote, can I also ask how many people there are who both read this and follow me on tumblr/see my tumblr posts? I don't always post a huge amount of story stuff over there, but there are often things I wonder if I *should* post and then don't -such as visual references for things I describe in the story, or things I see that seem fitting for various characters. Would anyone be interested if I posted some of those things?


	52. Consequences

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Tuesday-Thursday, April 4-6, 2016.
> 
> As promised, a bonus chapter in honour of little Leila's birthday in real time! I'm not entirely sure if this angsty one is the most appropriate one to post on such an occasion, but it's the next one we're up to, soo... Oh well.

**_TUESDAY..._ **

Samar strolled into the Post Office early, just two steps behind Aram... But they weren't the first ones there. With a small yawn, Samar furrowed her brow as she noted through the glass to Ressler's office, that he was already there. And not only was his arrival that early odd, but so was his stature hunched miserably over his desk, doodling aimlessly on a torn piece of notepaper. Samar and Aram exchanged curious glances as they observed him. Frowning in concern, Samar wordlessly slipped Leila's bag off her shoulder and held it out for Aram, who then slipped it over his own. Without a word, and leaving Leila there with Aram at his desk, Samar tilted her head and cautiously headed towards Ressler's office, wondering... Just wondering, if it was a good idea to do so.  

Ressler didn't even glance up at her soft knock on the door.

'Since when are you here this early?' She asked quietly. Ressler didn't even glance up in response to that either.  
'I got a call from the ER last night...' He trailed off miserably, his voice so low and husky from being tired and upset that it was barely audible. 'My mom.' Samar hesitated for a second, and Ressler continued staring down at his desk.  
'I thought she went back to Michigan,' Samar eventually spoke up again –albeit cautiously.   
'So did I until last night,' Ressler sighed to himself, 'but she didn't... She stayed here in DC because she's been having heart problems for months, and she wanted to be closer in case something happened.' Ressler paused, shaking his head in frustration. 'You should have seen her, Samar... She was a mess. She was _crying_ , even. I haven't seen her cry since my dad died, not once... And yet, she was in that hospital bed apologising for everything, telling me that she should have told me _months_ ago that she was sick, and that she regretted insulting you the second she left my apartment... But she was too scared to come back after that. She was _pleading_ with me to call you, and ask you to come to the hospital so she could apologise to you and hold Leila, and I said _no_. I said it was too late at night, and I'd ask you this morning instead.'

A breath caught in Samar's throat, and for a moment she wasn't sure how to respond.

'...But?'   
'But... About an hour later she had another heart attack...' Samar's face crumpled and she clasped a hand over her mouth, instantly flashing back for a second to that fateful day when she had discovered the bodies of her own parents laying dead on the floor of their home. It was a devastating pain she could understand, no matter the differences between them.  
'Ressler, I'm sorry...' She murmured, but no less sincerely. Samar took a few more steps out of the doorway and into the office space, only stopping as Ressler's head snapped up at last and he shot her a particularly fierce look.   
'Her one request before she died was to be able to apologise to you and hold her granddaughter, and I said _no_ to that,' he growled miserably, almost to himself as much as to her. 'I if had just let her stew for a few more days instead of kicking her out of my apartment months ago, she could have had plenty of time to do that, but...' Ressler trailed off, shaking his head again. He was angry at himself more than anything else.  
'Ressler, you're not a monster,' Samar tried to reassure him, the look on her own face almost just as fierce as his. 'If you had called me that late last night, _I_ might have come to the hospital, but I would have left Leila at home with Aram. She was asleep, it wouldn't have been fair to wake her... I would have said the same thing you did; that I could bring her along early this morning instead. Even if you hadn't said no to your mother, it would have been the same outcome. You couldn’t have predicted what happened after that.' There was a pause; Ressler nodded his head wearily in acknowledgement of her words, but otherwise allowing his eyes to drop back to his desk. Samar took a breath, lowering her voice a little as a more sympathetic look crossed her face. 'Why don't you go home, you shouldn't be at work like this...'  
'I know, Cooper told me to take a few days too...' He mumbled back, 'but I needed the distraction.' Samar nodded slowly.  
'Ok.'

/*/*/*/*

**_WEDNESDAY..._ **

The next day, Ressler turned up at the war room not early, but a half hour _late_. He looked around the war room with a disgruntled expression on his face, only realising how late he was when he noted that Leila wasn't there, but Samar was. She had already gone downstairs and then returned. After how awful Ressler had looked the day before, none of them had expected he would turn up at all; instead hoping that as the clock struck briefing time and he hadn't yet appeared, it meant that Ressler was finally taking the day off the grieve... But apparently that wasn't the case.  

Samar wrinkled her nose a little and furrowed her brow, distinctly unimpressed, as she took noted of the strong smell of alcohol on Ressler's breath.

'Sorry I'm late,' Ressler murmured quietly, 'what did I miss?' Cooper stared back at him contemplatively for a moment from the other end of Aram's desk, but didn't berate him for turning up late; he couldn't, seeing as Ressler wasn't technically supposed to be there at all.  
'I was about to send Samar to tail a suspect,' Cooper replied, 'go with her, I'm sure she can explain the situation on the way there.' Samar tried desperately to hold back a grimace; feeling sympathetic towards Ressler was one thing –and she genuinely did- but she also had to be wary of her own safety in the field... And it seemed that Ressler was in no state to function properly in the field if anything went awry. Cooper, however, hadn't quite caught the smell of alcohol from his position further away from Ressler than Samar was. Ressler bobbed his head, agreeing to the order, before gesturing for Samar to lead the way. She did so, pausing only to exchange cautious glances with Liz and Aram as she walked away.  

/*/*/*/*

Despite Samar explaining in the car that they were off to tail a gang member from his usual hideout at a dingy café, to a meeting with what was rumoured to be a new arms dealer who was sending conflict rippling through the already complicated gang wars by putting his services up to the highest bidder... Ressler only half paid attention. His mind was elsewhere; between suddenly having his mother's estate thrust upon him to deal with and her funeral to arrange, the guilt wracked his gut. It bothered him that despite the fragility of it and their contrasting views, his relationship with his mother had at least been relatively good until that heated conversation in his living room in January. Her death -with him not having had the chance to know she was sick- was all too sudden... And now not only did he feel guilty over it, but he also felt eerily alone in the world. The anxious thoughts just kept swirling around and around in his brain.

Head bowed slightly, he walked side by side with Samar as she followed the gang member at a slight distance; first from the café, across a street and down a few blocks, and finally to a small park. Samar stopped suddenly, both alarmed and hurriedly searching for cover, as they rounded the corner and saw the gang member sitting on one of the benches, and quickly working himself into deep conversation with their suspect.

It was too soon. The meeting wasn't supposed to be in the park. Now, standing there in the middle of the grass with no way to turn back and nowhere else to stand and listen in, Samar and Ressler were exposed.   
'Aram,' she hissed over the comms, 'our cover's about to be blown. Where can we go?'  
'Uhh,' Aram began, 'I'm looking at the map but-'  
'-If we don't move now, our suspect's going to know we're onto him and then he'll scatter,' Ressler interjected. Samar shot him a look for cutting Aram off, but otherwise stayed silent. He _did_ have a point.   
'There are a few shops across the street that you probably can't see around the hedge on that side of the park,' Aram said quickly, 'but if you can duck around there, your long range mics should still be able to pick up the conversation and you won't be seen.'  
'That'll take too long, and we'll miss half the conversation while we move.' Samar swore under her breath, but Ressler suddenly grabbed her arm.  
'Follow my lead,' he muttered. He tugged Samar along with him, walking straight past their suspect until they reached a small water fountain just a few feet away from the meeting happening on the park bench. Ressler leaned over the fountain, taking a few mouthfuls of water before standing up straight again. He brushed the drips from his face with the back of his hand, then grabbed Samar around the waist... And kissed her.

She pushed him away in anger and confusion, quicker than either of them could blink.

'What the _hell_ do you think you're doing?' She yelled. Ressler shot her a warning look, but Samar's face crumpled as she realised a second too late; _that_ was the lead she was supposed to be following. Ressler swivelled the mic in his pocket so it pointed at the meeting still happening on the bench behind them, and gave a small sigh. An argument it was for their cover, then.   
'What do you mean, what am I doing?' He growled back at her, 'since when can't I kiss my girlfriend?'   
' _Girlfriend?_ ' Samar shot back, now understanding exactly what they were doing. 'Oh buddy, if you think just a few mouthfuls of water can rinse that taste of alcohol from your mouth, then you might not have a girlfriend much longer.'

Part act, part true. Ressler eyed her in frustration for a moment, before deciding to roll with it.

'Oh, I'm not allowed to drown my sorrows and feel sorry for myself for once? My mom just _died_.'  
'Yes, she did... And that's _awful_. But that doesn't mean you can inflict that stench on everyone, especially not me. Try taking a shower! Try taking _care_ of yourself in the meantime!' Samar locked eyes with him in annoyance. Over on the bench, their two suspects shifted anxiously and glanced over their shoulders at them. The argument was going to have to get a lot more real, before it was believable.  
'Keep going, guys,' Aram muttered through the comms –though it was clear from his voice in both their ears that he wasn't entirely delighted about the turn of events- 'just keep the mic pointed at them and we'll get the whole conversation.'  
'Do you seriously think that missing _one_ shower means I can't take care of myself?' Ressler bellowed.  
'No, but it seems to fit a pattern,' Samar declared. 'A single night of drinking is fine, but you don't handle losing people very well. One round of painkillers for an injury around the time you lost Audrey, and you ended up _hooked_. If you drank enough last night to still smell like it this morning, _and_ forget to shower, then that's not just drowning your sorrows. That's enough for me to be allowed to worry that you'll _keep_ drinking if you don't pull yourself together this time!'  
'Oh, _I_ have to pull myself together?' Ressler yelled back. People around the park began to give them strange looks, but both Samar and Ressler ignored them. Now, their suspects were using the distraction to continue their meeting while everyone else's gazes were focused elsewhere. 'Last I checked, _you_ don't deal with grief all that well either. What happened the last time we were _both_ miserable? We ended up with a kid, Samar!'  
'A child isn't going to destroy our lives,' Samar seethed back. By now, the fight was all _too_ real. 'But if you keep up with this pattern of addiction, you're going to destroy _your_ life, and I don't want that. You say you want to keep spending time with Leila? Well, we were just starting to get that all figured out, but now I'm not leaving her alone with you if you're blind drunk.'

Ressler paused, locking eyes with her in sudden fear as Samar's words rang true in his ears. He _wasn't_ alone, he still had Leila... And his protective instinct was still as strong as ever.  

No matter how awful he felt, he couldn't let it tear him apart as he'd wanted it to the night before. _He still had Leila_. That was all it took to bring Ressler's funk to a screeching halt, and see Samar's worries for what they were; a warning, _yes_... But only from the standpoint of someone who cared enough to try and stop him from throwing his life away.  

Aram's observations over the comms that the meeting was over, that they could wrap things up and move on, jolted Ressler from his state of being momentarily stunned.  
'You're right, I'm sorry...' Ressler trailed off quietly, barely noticing over Samar's shoulder that their suspects were now well on their way to the park's exit. But that didn't matter, they had the recording they needed now. Samar's shoulders sank a little, and she shot Ressler a sympathetic look. No matter how much those worries she had yelled were true in her mind, she hadn't wanted to go over them with Ressler at all, let alone scream them at him -and in a public place, to boot... But their cover situation had blown _both_ their anxieties well out of proportion. Aware that they were both still technically, supposed to uphold their cover while under the discerning gazes of everyone else in the park, Samar reached out to take his hand.  
'I'm sorry too...' She whispered back. She gave his hand a gentle squeeze as his fingers interlaced through hers and they walked slowly away from the fountain and towards the exit on the park's opposite side. The apologies for the only half-genuine fight, were _completely_ genuine, and they both knew it.  

/*/*/*/*

 **_THURSDAY..._ **  

The rest of Wednesday passed with no further incidents at the Post Office. Upon return, Ressler had marched himself straight off to the break room to gulp down some coffee to sober himself up a little more, before turning and heading straight for the bathroom to gargle the mouthwash he kept in his desk to try and ease the smell. They were smaller gestures, but they were enough to start salving the guilt in his gut, and for Samar to silently observe that maybe, just maybe, he could keep his head and pull through it after all.  

Her only worry then, over the course of the evening, was listening to Aram call his own mother out of sudden fear for parental health, and reassuring him afterwards that she was sure his parents were ok.

Thursday morning rolled around, and Ressler arrived early to his office again, decidedly _not_ smelling of anything other than shampoo and aftershave.   

Samar knocked gently on his office door again, before warily poking her head around it to see him sitting there, a particularly contemplative look on his face.   
'How are you this morning?' She asked softly. He glanced up from his desk, shooting her a weary half-smile. There were tired, dark rings around his eyes but that at least, wasn't something Samar was going to question.   
'Samar, I need you to promise me something…' Ressler began, not at all answering her question. Samar frowned in mild concern.  
'…What?'  
'I don't want to lose Leila,' he said calmly, but no less emphatically. 'My dad's gone, and now my mom too. Leila's _all_ I have left… It's started me thinking about a lot of things, reorganised my priorities a little. So before I say what's on my mind, I need you to promise me that no matter what, I can still see her. I know she's only stayed over a few times so far, but I don't want to give that up now. It can be a weekend every month, or every other Saturday or something, I don't care. I'd prefer it be flexible for both of us and our crazy work schedules, rather than the court orders I've seen my friends squabbling over with their exes for the last five years… They argue over every single altered hour and let's face it, we _both_ have lives outside of work too. But I just don't want to lose Leila now. I want to be there for her, to get to know her and watch her grow. I need you to promise me I can do that.'

Samar paused for a moment, hesitant. Though as she adjusted to the idea, it still made Samar a little uncomfortable to leave Leila with him, the alternative was saying no and watching Ressler immediately turn on his heels and march straight to the courthouse… Which would be so much _worse_. And while Samar was stubborn, and unafraid to fight to stand her ground, she also knew how to pick her battles. Ressler's wish to spend time with Leila wasn't even close to a battle worth her fighting now. The concern _now_ , was her essentially being asked to agree to whatever else Ressler had on his mind, before Samar even knew what it was.  

'What's on your mind?' She eventually decided to ask outright. Ressler shifted in his desk chair before responding;  
'We've both agreed we don't want to keep fighting, and I'm pretty sure you're as frustrated with this tension as I am… But I think we both know that neither of us are going to get what we want unless we figure out some kind of compromise.' Samar nodded.  
'I agree.'  
'And _I_ agree Leila needs a second legal guardian…' Ressler commented. 'But I guess in a way, you were right. If she lives with you and Aram, and spends time at my place too, it doesn't matter which name goes on the paperwork. We're both going to be a part of her life either way, because I can't stop you from seeing who you want to see. The paperwork was never really what bothered me, it was the idea that you might take her away... But, you _haven't_.' He paused, giving Samar a small nod of acknowledgement on that front, before letting out a small sigh and speaking again; 'so I guess what I'm trying to say is… If you can promise me that I can still spend time with Leila on some kind of regular basis, I can promise not to get in your way if you still want Aram to adopt her. I was thinking about it all night, and that's about the best compromise I can think of where we both get _most_ of what we want.'

Samar gaped at him. That wasn't a concession she was expecting him to make _at all_ , let alone so soon.  

'That is….' She trailed off, unable to find any word that could possibly describe the relief and the weight that she would feel free from her shoulders if that tension and fear could vanish just like that. She agreed; it was about the best compromise possible, and exactly what she had been _hoping_ to work towards by the time Aram could legally file for adoption in October. Slowly, Samar sat down in the chair on the other side of Ressler's desk, across from him. She bit her lip for a moment, then stared back at him earnestly. 'Are you _sure_ you're ok with this?' Ressler gave a small smile, leaning forwards in his own seat a little to rest his elbows on his desk.  
'About as ok with it as you are with leaving her with me, even though I first said to you that I wasn't going to be a part of her life,' he chuckled back. 'I can see on your face when you drop her off at my apartment that it bothers you still. But you do it anyway, and… I really appreciate that.' Not to mention, he knew Aram personally, worked with him every day. He knew Aram well enough that if anyone else on earth had to play parent to his child, Ressler was ok with that person being Aram.  

Aram was trustworthy enough that Ressler knew he would take good care of Leila. And... On the off chance Aram didn't, Ressler had close enough access to fix that particular dilemma.  

Samar smiled back; they both appreciated the concessions they each had to make.  

'And we can each trust that we both have to keep those promises because as soon as one of us breaks one...' She trailed off again.  
'...The other will too, yeah,' Ressler finished for her, nodding. 'It's like mutually assured destruction.' Samar smirked.   
'Well, it worked in the Cold War, right?' She deadpanned, rolling her eyes. Ressler snorted with disbelieving laughter as he asked in response;.   
'Are you comparing us to the Cuban Missile Crisis?'

Samar simply grinned and waited for him to stop shaking his head, before speaking up again;

'I need you to promise me one more thing, too.'  
'What?'  
'Don't be your mother,' she pleaded with him. 'If you're going to have some kind of relationship with Leila, then if you end up sick in some forty years from now, don't do what your mother did. Make sure you tell her what’s going on.' Ressler's amusement vanished and his face instantly took on a far more sobered expression.   
'Are _you_ going to do the same?' He asked. Samar gave a small sigh, lip quirking up thoughtfully.  
'I don't think Aram would let me get away with the alternative.'  
'True,' Ressler tipped his head to her in recognition of such. 'In that case, I have one more thing for you... Can Leila come to the funeral? I mean, I know Mom wasn't great to her, but...'  
'Compromise,' Samar interjected sagely, as Ressler trailed off again. 'Leila's only seven months old, a funeral's not the best place for her to go... But _I'll_ go for her.'  
'You _don't_ want to go to my mother's funeral,' he pointed out, raising a wry eyebrow.  
'No, I don't. Not at all...' She admitted, smirking once more. 'But, this-' Samar waved a hand around, searching for the best word to describe their complicated situation '- _family_ is messed up and complicated, and I guess... One of us _should_ probably go.'

Or at least, now that the uncertainty of his threat no longer hung in the air, there was a new balance between them once more... One that hopefully, meant the end of the conflict between them, and the ability to move forward and work things out...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we go... As promised, the end to the Samar-Aram-Ressler-Leila conflict arc. I'm sure not everyone is going to be entirely pleased with it (just like Samar and Ressler!!!) but they're grown adults and that was a pretty good compromise which means nobody will be embroiled in an awful court battle at any point. Never fear, Uncle Ressler will take his uncle duties very seriously. 
> 
> Next up, poor Liz has a bad day and some old anxieties start to come creeping back again... And Samar and Red have a very particular 'discussion' about it.... In 'Fortitude'.


	53. Fortitude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Saturday, April 15, 2017.
> 
> Ok, so I miiiiiight have time to post this at the usual time, but it's also quite possible that I will not... And I have a free moment right now, so here you go. The next one will definitely not be at the usual time, because next weekend I'll be away minus internet again. Hopefully I'll have a moment to post before I go (say, at about this kind of time) but otherwise I'll do it as soon as I get back. Keep an eye out!

'Mind the splatter,' Aram warned as he crossed past the table, headed back to his seat from the kitchen. Samar ducked, leaving Sammy's mushy pea and carrot covered fingers to wave through the air rather than land the slimy, green-ish substance on her face.   
'Thanks,' she said, grinning over her shoulder at him. Aram grinned back, setting his glass of water down on his side of the square table next to his laptop, before sitting down again. Samar sat on the side perpendicular to his, with both Sammy and Leila in high chairs on her other side. Liz, meanwhile, was on a date. A guy in a local coffee shop a few days earlier had started talking to her while waiting in the queue for coffee during her turn for a team coffee run... And then he had given her his number and asked her out to dinner.

...Just like that. A completely normal-seeming guy who either hadn't made the connection between Liz and her appearances on television when she was a fugitive, or did and simply chose to ignore it, had smiled and asked her out. Just like that.  

Liz had been hesitant to accept at first, until after much internal debate and gentle encouragement she had eventually decided 'why not?' And so, now Saturday night, Liz was out for an early dinner, and little Sammy was on a play date of sorts with Leila.  

'How's the background check coming along?' Samar asked, not taking her eyes off those slime covered fingers. A pattern seemed to be emerging every time the two little ones ate anywhere near each other; Sammy, the usually calmer, quieter, and far gentler one of the two was the one to grow too excited, too quickly, and splatter things everywhere... While Leila, the usually louder, more temperamental and less inclined to sit still of the two, tended to take far more delicately to her food –reaching eagerly for people or bowls and watching intently but not _fussing_ at all over the spoons unless of course, they came with ice cream. Aram couldn't stop himself from marvelling over their already developing and markedly differing personalities but for the moment, Samar had him running a background check on Liz's suitor for the evening _just_ to be safe... Not that either of them were going to breathe a word of it to Liz unless anything majorly problematic turned up.    
'No criminal record, even his last traffic infringement was three years ago...' Aram read off his laptop screen, 'he's not married, no kids... He owns his own home, he's worked as a lead consultant at an architectural firm here in DC for the last four and a half years...' Aram glanced up from his screen and back to Samar, shrugging his shoulders; 'no warning bells that I can see.' Samar nodded to nobody in particular, quietly taking in Aram's words as she wiped the last of the peas from both Sammy and Leila's faces.        
'Good,' Samar murmured, glancing back over her shoulder to shoot him an appreciative look. She moved on to cleaning up both sets of little fingers, before handing them the usual teething rings and other toys, then turning in her seat properly to meet Aram's eyes again. 'Now hopefully, Liz has a nice evening out.'

/*/*/*/*

Samar glanced up at the clock on the wall and frowned curiously as she heard the knock on the door. If it was Liz at the door, then she was far earlier than Samar had expected. Sammy and Leila were on the living room floor, busily swatting at a colourful, rolling drum that rattled as it rolled, and flashed and played music when hit... Not that they were quite at the stage of properly interacting with each other just yet, but they each seemed to have some awareness of the others' presence and their effects on the space around them. They both responded with delight as the drum was struck and rolled back and forth. Sammy, rocking back and forth on her hands and knees in an attempt to crawl forwards but not quite managing it yet, reached out with one hand to push the drum away as it came rolling towards her. Flashes of red, green and blue lit up the sides, and an almost robotic 'beep-boop' noise sounded loudly from the drum... And it went rolling away from Sammy and back to Leila as quickly as it had gone in the opposite direction two seconds earlier. Leila chortled happily in response, tracking the drum with her eyes until it was back within reach. With an amused smirk, Samar rose from the couch where she was watching, leaving Aram to continue chuckling at their antics by himself.  

She strode towards the front door, glanced through the peek hole, then opened the door.  

'You're earlier than I thought you'd be,' Samar mused. Liz shot her a half hearted smile and shrugged, stepping past Samar into the apartment without a word. Samar closed the door behind her, and followed her back down the short hallway towards the living room, equally quiet. Liz peered around the living room, lip twitching ever so slightly as she spotted Sammy playing, before crossing the room to sit wearily on the floor beside her daughter. Samar didn't flinch at the behaviour, and neither did Aram; they were both just as comfortable moving around Liz's apartment without the feeling of needing to behave like typical guests. However, there was something about Liz's demeanour that had Samar concerned. She ambled back across the room from the hallway, and lowered herself back on to the couch beside Aram again, all the while curiously observing Liz as she did so. The mischievous smile that had lit up Liz's face for most of the last couple of weeks was gone, replaced now by the more contemplative, weary expression they had only caught flashes of in that time, as she murmured softly to Sammy and tousled her dark blonde hair.  

Aram and Samar swapped cautious looks, unsure whether to ask.

'I thought the kids were going to be asleep by the time I got here,' Liz murmured, still not taking her eyes off Sammy, Leila, or the noisy, flashing drum.  
'I was about to bath them and then put them to bed, when you knocked on the door,' Samar said softly. Liz nodded, but otherwise didn't respond. 'How was dinner?' Samar spoke up again, after a hesitant pause.  
'It was great,' Liz sighed, finally looking back up at them from the floor. 'He said I looked lovely, we went to a nice restaurant, we got talking...' Liz shook her head in frustration for a second, 'he asked about life outside of work and I started talking about Sammy... And then all of a sudden, he recoiled. It was like after that, he just couldn't get away fast enough.' Liz gritted her teeth miserably, growling as Samar grimaced in instant understanding; 'all because I have a baby.' She gently picked Sammy up off the floor, holding her close and pressing a kiss to the top of her head, before murmuring again; 'but it's ok, Sammy... Some people just don't know what they're missing out on.'  
'Is that what's been on your mind, lately?' Aram asked, the caution clear in his voice. Samar averted her gaze, as Liz glanced hurriedly back to Aram, momentarily caught off guard.   
'I should have known you two would notice something was up,' she eventually sighed, shaking her head and letting out a half-hearted smile, before continuing; 'but no, it's not just that... It's the idea that I had such a simple dream, and now it feels like it's just never going to happen. _All_ I ever wanted was a normal family... Then I had a husband, but we cancelled our adoption... And now I have Sammy, but nobody to raise her with. I was getting over that, over Tom being gone and everything else, but now the more I watch Sammy grow and learn new things before my eyes it makes me start to wonder again... Then there was the snobbiness at the café on my birthday, and now tonight too... It's like it's being thrown back in my face all over again that I can't even achieve that simple dream.' Liz paused, thinking back to that meeting with the Djinn so long ago now, and that fantasy of simply strolling through a park with a husband and a daughter by her side. 'And I hate the idea that I have to rely on Reddington to even think about expanding my family, 'she added slowly. 'With my conviction, I wouldn't be allowed to have my record expunged or adopt for another twelve years, and by that point it'd be too late. The _only_ reason I can think about it, is because he's got his lawyers trying to twist the system for me. I mean, it's nice that he's helping, and I appreciate it but... I hate the fact that I have to be _reliant_ on him. Even more so when he's the one who kept trying to stop me from finding Tom... But I don't have a choice, really. It's either rely on him, or give up on adopting.'

Liz paused again suddenly, shifting her gaze back to Samar and Aram on the couch in alarm as she realised; she had just unloaded _everything_ , and all at once too.

Her eyes dropped to the wooden floorboards, sighing in frustration at herself.  
'Sorry,' she mumbled, barely audible. 'That was a lot to just throw at you both...' Aram and Samar instantly swapped concerned looks.  
'No-' Aram began, his face crumpling in nothing but sympathy.  
'-it's fine,' Samar finished gently for him, and Aram promptly nodded his agreement. She leaned forwards from the couch, reaching just forward enough to pick Leila up off the floor where she had stopped pushing the drum around and was tiredly dragging Mr Spikes back and forth across the floor in front of her. Samar curiously narrowed her eyes a little, as she observed Liz still miserably holding Sammy close. She hated seeing Liz so upset. 'Hey...' Samar slowly spoke up again, and then paused, waiting for Liz to meet her gaze. Samar shot Liz a small, reassuring smile before continuing; 'you were going to come over for Easter Sunday breakfast tomorrow anyway... Why don't you and Sammy just stay here over night?'  

Or rather, she didn't want Liz to be alone when she was upset –and she knew Aram didn't either. But either way, Liz understood.  

'Are you sure?' Liz asked, after a moment of hesitation. Both Samar and Aram nodded earnestly; all Liz really needed for the moment was reassurance, comfort, and company... And they were all too happy to give her that.  

/*/*/*/*

The kids were bathed and put to bed, Sammy once again at the opposite end of Leila's crib that was still more than big enough for the both of them anyway. The couch was set up for Liz too, being a fold out much like the one at her own apartment. One by one, all but Samar eventually fell asleep.

Samar however, waited. She waited for the apartment to fall quiet, filled with no sound other than the slow breathing of everyone else's slumber and her own soft footsteps, before tiptoeing into the bathroom and closing the door firmly shut behind her.  

There was a matter that needed attending to, but Samar wanted privacy.

She pulled her phone from the pocket of her robe and dialled a painfully familiar number.

'Yes?' Came Dembe's voice from the other end of the line.  
'Dembe, I know it's late... But I need to talk to Reddington.' Samar's voice was quiet, but the demand was no less clear.   
'One moment.' The phone line went quiet, undoubtedly as Dembe caught Reddington's attention and handed over the phone.  
'Samar...' Finally came that familiar voice. 'It's late. I find it hard to imagine this is a work call, so-'  
'-Reddington,' she quickly cut him off, before he started up with his usual attempts at flirting with her. 'What really happened to Tom?' There was a pause; Samar heard nothing but the sharp intake of Reddington's breath.   
'What makes you think, that if I'm not going to tell Elizabeth, I'll tell you instead?' He asked sharply.   
'Because I'm the one who found and captured you in seventy four days, and you never saw it coming. Because, I have far more resources than Liz does to get the truth out of you.'  
'Agent Navabi...' Reddington began slowly, warningly. Samar noted the sudden change to his using her title, rather than her first name. 'Think very carefully before you threaten me.'  
'Was I threatening you?' She said cooly in response. Going against Reddington was a risk, but not all that worse than other risks Samar had encountered before... And she was all too tired of seeing her friend hurt and upset. While for the moment Liz needed reassurance, in the long term she also needed closure, and Samar was growing steadily more and more tired of her not having it. 'I thought I was simply seeing how cooperative you could be. Liz needs to know the truth. It might hurt, but... It'll hurt less than if she finds out you've hidden something from her, and she'll be more likely to forgive you too. The _truth_ is all she wants.'

The line went quiet, the kind of quiet that would fill the room if they were face to face and stubbornly locking eyes with one another. It was a battle of wills until finally... The phone clicked, and the line went dead. Reddington had hung up.  

/*/*/*/*

The hours passed after Samar finally went to bed too, but the state of quiet in the apartment didn't last. She awoke with a jump, well before the sky outside the window began to send its usual rays of light through the cracks in the curtains. With a frustrated sigh, she gently pushed back the bedcovers –Aram was still sound asleep- trudged silently out of the bedroom and down the hall towards the kitchen. Samar reached for a glass, not even glancing over the counter towards the living room at the couch where Liz was, shaking her head in annoyance the whole time; no matter how accustomed she was to having the nightmares on a semi regular basis after everything else she had been through, they still never ceased to shake her.  

Samar turned, just for a second to fill her glass with water, only to stop as Liz's voice sounded quietly across the room.  

'You can't sleep either?' She mumbled tiredly. Samar turned again, glancing across the room to see Liz's head poking up from her position on the couch.  
'Nope,' Samar replied flatly, shooting Liz a weary half-smile. 'Normally I make tea instead, but I didn't want to wake you... But since you're awake already-' Samar paused, gesturing at the overhead cupboard behind her where the mugs were kept '-do you want one?'  
'Sounds good to me,' Liz said back, shrugging slightly as she sat up. Samar pulled down two mugs from the cupboard shelf, quickly making the tea before striding across the room, one steaming cup of tea in each hand.   
'Move over,' she said softly, nudging Liz's toes with her knee so she could sit down on the edge of the couch. Liz did so, chuckling quietly to herself as Samar handed her one of the mugs.   
'What woke you up?' Liz asked gently. Samar averted her gaze for a second, focusing more intently on the swirls she could see rising from the mug in her hand.  
'Another nightmare,' she whispered bitterly. 'I don't have them every night, but I do get them about once or twice a week... More if something stressful happens to trigger one.' Liz shot her a sympathetic look, and Samar finally returned her gaze; 'what about you?'  
'Just the general frustration about that guy from the coffee shop... And Reddington... And Tom. On one hand I’m grateful that Reddington’s helping to get my record expunged, but on the other hand it still bothers me that he knows where Tom is, but he keeps trying to stop me from looking,' Liz let out a bitter sigh, 'life is just a series of endless possibilities, and impossible choices too, I guess.' Samar took a sip of her tea, before nodding her agreement. That was certainly one way to sum things up. Liz tilted her head, leaning it against the side of Samar's shoulder for a moment. Samar barely even blinked at the gesture that once upon a time, would have had her pushing Liz away in an instant... But by now, she was used to it, and it didn't faze her in the slightest. That, and her mind was already wandering away, back to her earlier conversation on the phone with Reddington. Samar was going to find the answers Liz needed, whether Reddington wanted her to have them or not.  

/*/*/*/*

Aram reached blindly through the sheets as he slowly woke to the light finally breaking through the curtains. His eyes snapped open in alarm when he didn't seem to find Samar next to him, and he sat up curiously, looking all around the room; she wasn't there. Brow furrowed, he crept out of bed and down the hall to Leila's room, peeking around the doorway; both little ones were still fast asleep, their tiny fists curled tightly around their respective favourite stuffed animals... But Samar wasn't there either.  

Curiosity now seriously piqued, Aram turned and continued down the hall to the living room and kitchen... Stopping in his tracks and breaking into a soft smile at the sight that greeted him as he rounded the corner.

He wasn't sure how or why, but there Samar was... Sound asleep on the opposite side of the fold out couch next to Liz. The empty mugs sat not too far away on the coffee table. Whatever had caused Samar to move, Aram had absolutely no idea... But it did remind him of them having fallen asleep in front of a movie after a particularly long, tiring day during their pregnancies. Aram took a few steps further into the room, observing that Liz in particular was curled up, seemingly cold. He reached for another of the blankets that sat folded up on the floor by the side of the couch –left there by Samar the night before in case Liz did get cold- and pulled it gently over the both of them.  

There was no point waking either of them just yet; Aram hadn't woken at all to Samar climbing out of bed and moving during the night, but he imagined that it probably ended in some late night talking until they had both simply fallen asleep next to each other again. Either way, they were both probably tired. He could leave them to sleep a little while longer.

With a small chuckle, Aram turned on his heels and crossed into the kitchen. For a brief moment, he considered making breakfast so that it was ready and waiting for them when they woke up, but then again... He had barely mastered pancakes, and Liz _hated_ pancakes. Aram turned instead to the cupboard with the mugs; he didn't want to torture either of them with his attempts at cooking, but he did make a _great_ cup of coffee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up... 'Milestones -Part 1' ...And that is all I shall say on the matter. :D
> 
> Oh sidenote; following up on my question two chapters back about posting visual references on tumblr, if you haven't seen them yet, you can take a peek at some of these! 
> 
> http://whimsyandsomething.tumblr.com/post/149170249291/just-some-visual-references-from-my-story-life-is


	54. Milestones -Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date: Sunday, April 23, 2017.
> 
> Surprise! It's early, I know. I couldn't hold out until Friday (read: I am procrastinating from studying and packing for this weekend, and I feel the need to share some fluff. It's just one of those days, apparently) so, here you go. 
> 
> Reference to the Navabi Siblings Ninja Cookie Heist came from a particularly ridiculous (read; entertaining) headcanon conversation with AuraSweet13. If you check it out (and you should, because it's wonderful), you may just find a similar reference in her story 'A step back to freedom'.

Another week, over. A week where Reddington made a point of communicating as little as possible with Liz and the taskforce, and was exceptionally short with Samar in particular, in the wake of her not quite threat against him... Not that anyone else in the taskforce knew that the phone call between them had taken place, but they did notice that Reddington was even more absent and loathing of the Post Office building than usual.  

However, with something on each of their minds, nobody other than Samar bothered to consider the possibility that it was a case of anything but Reddington simply being preoccupied by his own business dealings going slightly sour.  

On that note, with Liz trying to push her anxieties to the back of her mind but unable to push past them entirely, and with Ressler still quietly grieving since his mother's funeral, Aram decided that a team movie night was in order for the sheer sake of team bonding and trying to cheer everyone up... And so there they were; gathered haphazardly around Liz's living room and kitchen. The movie hadn't started yet; Aram had turned on the television, ready to start a dvd, only to find that _The Lion King_ had just started airing. With a gleeful smile, and noting that it was just moments away from that memorable scene during the _'_ _Circle of Life_ _'_ song where the mandrill Rafiki held young Simba up in the air to present him to the great herds, Aram lifted Leila up in the air in perfect synchronization –all the while, trying to sing along with the every second word or so that he could remember, and making Leila giggle in delight.  

Even Ressler cracked the tiniest of amused smiles at the ridiculous sight that was Aram pretending to 'present' Leila to their 'herd' and chanting wildly off key.  

'Why is it, that just about _every_ kids' movie seems to show the parents dying horrifically?' Aram asked, lowering Leila back down from above his head to the more regular height just as Liz happened to stroll past them both and set a bowl of popcorn down on the coffee table beside the other movie snacks already scattered across it.   
'I don't know,' replied Ressler, 'I was wondering that too.' Samar glanced back at him as he spoke, one eyebrow raised in amusement.  
'What do _you_ know about kids' movies?' She asked.   
'I've been doing my research,' Ressler shot back, with a hint of mock indignation. 'I have to have a few options up my sleeve for when Leila comes over, don't I? I would have thought that new _Frozen_ movie was a good choice, but-'  
'-but the parents die in that one as well,' Aram finished for him, shaking his head in annoyance just as Ressler was, 'right at the beginning too.'   
' _Guys_ ,' Samar chuckled. Aram and Ressler's faces were both completely serious as they shared agreeing, irritated looks. 'I really don't think she's old enough to pay that much attention to a Disney movie just yet, let alone actually understand the story.'  
'That's beside the point,' Ressler muttered to himself.   
'Yeah, is that what we're going to teach both Leila and Sammy when they're older? That all parents die and abandon their kids?' Aram added, nodding his rather emphatic agreement. Samar turned to Liz for a moment, giving her that universal, pained look of 'help me', but all Liz could do was try desperately to hold back her amused smirk.

Aram and Ressler looked quite the pair, arms folded –or at least, Aram was trying to fold his arms around Leila held between them- matching disgruntled expressions, and all too focused on their glaringly protective instincts to even notice that Leila was now trying to copy Sammy's on-off babbling of 'mamamamamama'.  

'I don’t recall the parents dying in _Tangled_ ,' Liz piped up, oh so innocently and contemplatively. Her voice and the expression on her face were both of the utmost seriousness, but as she turned ever so slightly to grin devilishly at Samar it was clear; Liz was not going to help, _at all_.    
'They don't,' Aram huffed, 'the princess is reunited with them at the end of the movie after being _kidnapped_ as a baby at the start which you know, is just as bad.'  
'Hmm,' Liz murmured, her own face now crumpling in turn; the amusement at the guys' dilemma was gone, now only to be replaced by genuine concern as she tried to out think them and failed, _dismally_. 'Oh, what about _How to Train Your Dragon?'_     
'Oh, I like that one-' Aram said, nodding quickly.  
'-Yeah, I guess that one's alright-' Ressler spoke at the same time.  
'-The dragons are no dinosaurs, but they're still pretty cool-'  
'-And at the end there, Toothless gives a lesson in manners, so-'  
'- _Anyway_...' Samar interjected, cutting off both Aram and Ressler's simultaneous assessments of the movie in question, and trying desperately not to roll her eyes in amusement at their antics. Honestly, they were _both_ so over-protective that if they were left to continue their elaborate –and disgruntled- evaluation of children's films, it would probably never end. 'Now that _'The Circle of Life '_ is over,' she continued, shooting a pointed look in Aram's direction and causing him to grin sheepishly, 'and we've agreed that there's at least _one_ movie that isn't going to traumatise anyone-' Samar impatiently waved the dvd player remote in the air as Liz snickered to herself once more '-can we start the movie we were _planning_ to watch?'

The other three all nodded their agreement, and slowly took their seats. Samar managed a quiet chuckle to herself –but only for a second. She stopped herself, just in time to feel a wave of relief wash over her as a thought struck; she was all too glad nobody thought to mention _The Lego Movie_ before she changed the subject... She certainly did _not_ need _that_ theme song stuck in her head _again_.  

/*/*/*/*

The room was naturally quiet as the movie played –with the exception, of course, of the movie itself- but as the evening wore on, the room fell all _too_ quiet. Samar narrowed her eyes, suddenly glancing around; Leila and Sammy were playing happily on the floor in the centre of the room, surrounded by the almost horseshoe shape arrangement of the couch and armchairs, but the usual babbling, soft cooing and gurgling had stopped.  

_Somehow_ , Leila had managed to get her tiny hands on one of the chocolate chip cookies from the coffee table beside them, and was now silently –and delightedly- gnawing on its edges.

'How did you-' Samar began with an amazed, disbelieving sigh, before giving up on the question entirely. How either of the kids could have managed to swipe any food from the table that was right in front of _everyone_ , without _any_ of them noticing, was absolutely beyond her... But as she ducked forwards from her seat on the couch to gently pry the now half soggy cookie from Leila's little fingers, and thus drew the attention of every other adult in the room, Samar couldn't help but quirk up her lip in amusement. Leila grizzled in complaint for a moment as the delicious snack was taken from her and Samar turned, grinning slightly, towards the kitchen to dump it in the trash. Nonetheless, the discontent only lasted a moment, with Ressler leaning forward in his own seat to pick Leila up and settle her on his knees right as it started.   
'You're getting sneaky, little sprout,' he chuckled quietly to her. Leila simply continued to babble innocently in response. Either the cookie had been knocked to the ground by someone reaching for the popcorn and Leila had then picked it up without anyone realising it, or she had managed to pull herself up to stand alongside the edge of the coffee table just long enough to swipe the cookie before tumbling down to the floor again. Either way, it seemed she had inherited Samar's apparently natural talent for covert operations.  

Samar returned to the couch, sitting down beside Liz once more as the movie started playing again. Nobody thought anything more of it, once the cookie had been unceremoniously removed from Leila's grasp... Nobody that was, except Samar. Samar's attention focused not on the movie, but instead on the memories now flashing suddenly before her eyes. Leila's momentary escapade was even more reminiscent of Samar's own as a child than anyone else in the room could have known; she and Shahin -long before their parents were killed- had quite frequently masterminded heists together to steal their mother's freshly baked treats straight off the kitchen counter. The memories of sending Shahin in first to distract their mother with some wail or complaint about a bumped knee or knocked elbow –all too realistically, considering that he would have only been about six or seven at the time- and then Samar herself ducking behind them both to steal away a cookie for each of them before hurriedly running into the next room to await Shahin's return, were all too vivid in her mind.  

Years later, Samar had finally worked up the nerve to pore over her mother's old notebooks, and discovered that she had known about their thievery all along but let it slide in the name of encouraging them to keep working together... But that was beside the point. Samar smirked to herself as her attention finally returned to the present; she was going to have to keep an even closer eye on Leila as she grew up, than first thought.  

On that note, she glanced sideways to where Leila –completely content- was now curled up in Ressler's arms. Her head leaned against his chest, and those tiny, now thankfully cookie-free fingers wound tightly around Mr Spikes' tail. In an effort to distract her from the cookie, Ressler had thought to pluck the beloved dinosaur from the floor in the same second he had picked up Leila... And it had worked. Ressler himself was relatively quiet -his thoughts clearly wandering just as Samar's were- as he continued to grapple with his mother's loss... But at the same time, he also seemed more relaxed –in particular, with Leila, almost as if just having her there nearby him was a comfort. Curiously, as Samar thought about it for a moment, she felt much the same. No longer did she feel so uncomfortable seeing Ressler with Leila. It was as if the weight had been lifted from both their shoulders, now that the uncertainty of his threat was gone and there was a comfortable new boundary. The animosity between them seemed to have disappeared in an instant, since that last conversation in his office... And in its place, a certain level of trust and comfort that neither of them had really felt since long before Leila, had finally been restored.

'Oh, Hudson... Not _again_ ,' the sound of Liz's exasperated voice jolted Samar –and for that matter, everyone else in the room- from the movie or wherever else their minds were wandering for the second time in as many minutes. Samar raised a curious eyebrow; the golden-furred pup seemed to have awoken and jumped down from where he had been sleeping on the end of the couch earlier... And now he stood next to Sammy -who was still on the floor- _trying_ to nudge her along. Sammy simply giggled softly in response, one hand absentmindedly brushing against the fur of her canine friend and protector. She was on all fours again, rocking back and forth but still not quite managing to move forward... And Hudson, almost as if wondering why on earth the strange, furless, human puppy wasn't following him, was gently nudging her side with his nose. Liz tried half-heartedly to shoo him away, but Hudson merely ran a lap around one of the armchairs and then returned to Sammy's side once more.  

Aram couldn't help but laugh.

'You think it's cute, and it _is_ ,' Liz sighed, 'but he's _really_ not supposed to be herding anyone, especially not Sammy.' She leaned further forward again, trying to push Hudson away... But he held his ground, the ball of fluff that he was, pausing only to nuzzle his waffly nose against Sammy's cheek, before nudging her side again. Hudson wuffed quietly to her, encouraging her along so desperately that the noise was almost whine-like... _Almost_. Sammy giggled even louder, and Liz sighed in amused defeat. Hudson nudged Sammy again, and again once more. Aram paused the movie, well aware that everyone's attention had well and truly drifted to the scene unfolding before them instead. 

...And then Sammy's hand moved ever so slightly forwards.  

A breath caught in Liz's throat. She did a double take, wondering if she really had just seen what she thought she saw, until Sammy's knee shifted forwards in turn... And then her other hand, her other knee, and then over again. Hudson nudged her again, just the once more, letting out a bark a second later. Slowly but surely –and clumsily- Sammy lurched forwards in response. Liz slid down from her position on the couch to the floor, watching on even more speechlessly than the others –if that were possible. Sammy crept forwards, closer and closer towards Liz, nearly sliding on the floorboards and falling flat on her face in her own excitement at suddenly discovering the ability to propel herself forwards. Everyone else in the room watched intently, and in complete awe; Sammy's movement across the five feet to Liz was slow, but it felt like time had stopped.  

Sammy was _crawling_.  

Hudson followed closely behind her; no longer nudging but rather, _guarding_ his tiny, self-appointed charge... Until she finally came within Liz's reach. Liz instantly scooped her daughter up, her eyes welling up a little with pride, and pressed a kiss to Sammy's forehead. Sammy however, squirmed in Liz's arms, not at all understanding the significance of what was happening. All she seemed to want, was to keep moving.    
'Oh, go on then,' Liz chuckled quietly. She set Sammy back on the floor in front of her, but facing the opposite direction this time, and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. Hudson immediately resumed his guard. Sammy rocked back and forth on the spot for a moment, suddenly hesitant.   
'Put Leila back on the floor,' Aram murmured, shooting a quick glance in Ressler's direction. Ressler furrowed his brow in confusion but regardless, did as instructed, setting Leila down on the floor at the other end of the chair horseshoe, just by his feet. Leila babbled curiously in response, breaking the room's silence and catching Sammy's attention. Slowly, but more determinedly this time, Sammy crept forwards again, a wide, gummy grin spread across her face.  

Leila didn't even see her coming, she was all too focused on her dinosaur.

Samar's lip twitched in amusement; Sammy was making a beeline for Leila across the room, with Hudson still right behind her, and Leila wasn't paying either of them a single shred of attention. Sammy kept shuffling forwards, and everyone else in the room had to suddenly hold back a laugh as they realised what was going to happen. Sammy picked up the pace a little as both her excitement and confidence visibly grew, but without the stability to match. She tumbled over her own hands, sliding starfish style across that last foot of distance to Leila, and stopping _just_ shy of crashing into her completely –instead, landing on Leila's feet. Leila let out a babbled 'oomph' noise at the impact, but otherwise stared back at Sammy, completely unfazed; if anything, it was Sammy who was more stunned at the sudden stop than her slightly smaller friend. Hudson nudged her gently again until Sammy pushed herself up, her face now just an inch or two from Leila's. Leila giggled softly, and Sammy broke into that wide grin once more, all the while Hudson wedged his nose into the small gap between them, contently nuzzling them both.  

Samar glanced across the room to Liz, all attempts at watching the movie having now flown far out the window, and caught her eye, grinning for a moment. Liz grinned back, but the shared glance lasted only a second or two, before they both quickly shifted their attention back to the two little ones now wrapping themselves gleefully around Hudson and all his shaggy fur.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, 'Closure'. 
> 
> (And yes, there will eventually be a 'Milestones -Part 2', but much like the Arrivals chapters, they're a little spaced out.)


	55. Closure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Tuesday, May 2, 2017.
> 
> Just trying to get back into the swing of my Sunday morning updates, without going over a week without posting. September is my crazy busy month. 
> 
> So yep, wrapping up another aspect of this story with this chapter... I'm anticipating that there may be mixed feelings on it. I tried to go with a canon-esque stance on it, based on where in the series this story picked up on. No offense intended to fans of any given character -I had some lengthy discussions with people about how to wrap this aspect up, and went with this. Ultimately I figured that more than anything else; an absence needed explaining, a character needed closure, but respect was still owed. So that is what I've tried to do.

' _Samar, Reddington just said he's on his way over here to tell me about Tom,_ ' Liz's voice had cracked through the phone once Samar had reluctantly answered the call. At first Samar had been annoyed when her phone rang; she was _just_ about to put Leila to bed and so it was quite possibly the _worst_ moment of the evening for that ringtone to sound. Regardless, seeing Liz's name on the caller ID had eased the frustration in favour of confusion and curiosity; Liz knew better than _anyone_ that calling at that time wasn't a great idea... And so Samar had answered. If Liz was calling at that time, something serious had to be happening... And Samar had not been wrong in drawing that conclusion.   
' _I don't know what's going on,'_ Liz had added nervously, ' _and I know it's a bad time so I wouldn't ask if didn't need to... But could you come too? I might need moral support_.' Liz had no idea what Reddington was about to tell her or _why_ he was about to tell her, nor that Samar had a hand in making the reveal happen at all, but after all the stress and all the _wondering_ Liz was determined but still scared to hear the truth once and for all –not that she couldn't brave that alone if she had to. Liz was more than strong enough and capable enough, but why put herself through that now that she and Samar were so close?  

For a moment, Samar had hesitated. She wanted to make sure Liz was ok, but she wasn't sure if she _should_ go and be present for such a conversation if Liz didn't know _why_ it was happening in the first place.  

It almost felt like some kind of betrayal.

Nevertheless, Liz had been so desperate to know the truth in recent weeks... And Samar was so sure she had made the right move in calling Reddington. It only took Liz asking her one more time to be there with her, for Samar to give in. She said she would just settle Leila, and then be on her way, leaving Aram to hold down the fort for an hour or so until she came back.  

Samar arrived at Liz's place before Reddington did, but only just. She arrived just long enough to follow Liz from the front door to the living room, and then sounded Reddington's own knock on the door. Reddington walked straight in as Liz opened the door once more, stopping only for a moment at the sight of Samar already standing there.   
'Ah, Agent's Navabi's here, I see,' he observed quietly. It was an observation made as if thinking to himself, but it was still one made out loud, and with an almost disdainful tone. Samar locked eyes with him for a moment, stony-faced.   
'I asked her to come,' Liz said, with a touch of annoyance. She caught both the tone, and the look, but assumed it was simply Samar standing in solidarity with her frustrations, and Reddington annoyed at the apparent lack of privacy. Either way, this wasn't something Liz wanted drawn out. 'You said you were going to tell me what happened to Tom,' she spoke up again. She steadied herself as Reddington finally pulled his unimpressed gaze from Samar, and turned to glance back at Liz. Liz took a breath, fighting both the frustration and the fear, and trying to keep her voice authoritative. She'd had enough of waiting, she wanted the truth now. 'So, tell me.'

Needless to say, Reddington seemed to get the hint.

'Perhaps you should sit down, Lizzie,' he started, cautiously.  
'Perhaps,' she said back, and quite flatly too. 'But I'd prefer to stand.' Reddington's gaze flickered back and forth, to Samar for a split second, and then back to Liz. Samar remained standing too, the expression on her face still steely, but her arms were by her sides, rather than folded. She was impatiently waiting just as Liz was, but without judgement or confrontation –or, for the _moment_ at least, anyway. Reddington pursed his lips, not at all happy with the scenario he found himself in, but still recognising that –given the circumstances- he didn't have another option.  
'Alright then...' He conceded, albeit with a tone just as flat as Liz's. He paused, grappling with the idea of saying the words he didn't want to say, in such an upfront manner. 'It's my understanding that Tom, in some kind of twisted, _misguided_ , effort-'  
'- _Don't_ ,' Liz interjected, her voice rising with warning. 'I _loved_ Tom. Whether you approve or disapprove, doesn't change that. I let it go when you wouldn't tell me what happened to him, I moved on, and I accepted that he was gone... The _least_ you can do, if you're going to tell me now, is just _accept_ that I loved him, and tell me the truth without being judgemental about it.'

There was a pause. The air was filled with a horribly awkward silence as Reddington took a breath and gritted his teeth, and Liz suddenly doubted herself, wondering if what she had just said was too harsh given that Reddington was still helping with having her record expunged too.  

But regardless, as self-doubting and conflicted as she was, Liz stood her ground. The two were completely separate issues, and the reality was that she _was_ frustrated and hurt by Reddington having delayed telling her the truth for so long.  

'It's my understanding,' Reddington repeated, slower this time, 'that Tom, in an effort to make you and him, and your then unborn child a stronger family when you told him you were pregnant, decided to try and unearth more of your family history.' The stony look on Samar's face vanished, and Liz did a double take.   
'He... What?'  
'He followed a lead to Moscow at the last minute-' Reddington paused again, just for a split second to eye Samar in irritation '-where _your_ contacts picked him up-' Reddington shifted his gaze just as quickly back to Liz again. Liz and Samar shared a knowing look; the fact that Tom had been in Moscow was all they knew, all that Samar's contacts had found before Sammy was born and Samar had tried to find the truth for Liz the first time around. '-But Lizzie, there's a reason I've tried to protect you from the truth about your family... This runs far deeper than you or Tom could possibly have imagined. It's my belief that Tom stumbled across something he didn't understand the significance of, and... He paid the price for it.' Silence filled the room once more, not awkward this time but rather, devastated. Liz clasped a hand over her mouth, collapsing on the couch absolutely stunned -and not in a good way. Samar, not even casting Reddington a second glance, instantly fell to Liz's side, one hand placed gently on her shoulder.  

The tears hadn't yet started to fall, and nobody in the room was sure whether that was a concern or a relief. Liz was in shock, staring blankly at the floorboards. It was clear from the crumpled expression on her face that her mind was wandering, desperately trying to process the information she had just heard.

Reddington simply stood there, patiently awaiting her response.

'And all this time...' Liz finally spoke up again, her voice deathly quiet, and her eyes still focused on the floor, 'I was angry because you _let_ me believe he abandoned me... That he abandoned Sammy...' Reddington lowered his gaze.  
'I'm sorry, Lizzie-'  
'-You're _sorry?'_ Liz cut him off, finally staring back at him furiously. She was livid now, and bitter too. 'How is that going to _fix_ anything?'  
'I tried to hide the truth from you because I knew you would be devastated,' Reddington explained. The judgement was gone, almost as if though he stood by his decision to conceal the truth, he did regret its effects. 'Trust me, it's a lot easier to accept and move on when you're angry at someone for having wronged you, than it is when you're upset at having lost someone you loved. Knowing what happened to him doesn't change the fact that he's gone, Lizzie.'   
'Leave.'  
'Excuse me?'  
'Leave,' Liz repeated. She rose slowly, shaking, from the couch. Her gaze was piercing, boring into his skull with rage. 'Now.'  
'Elizabeth, I hope this isn't going to stop us from working-' Red said sharply.  
'-You really think _now_ is an appropriate moment to figure that out?' Liz yelled, before taking a breath. She tried to steady herself, anything to try and stay calm. Samar discreetly reached for her arm, the silent reminder that Sammy was sleeping not all that far away... And the yelling wasn't going to help. 'You should know by now that the taskforce is too important,' Liz continued, with a forced calm this time, 'I'll work with you even if I don't want to, because too much hangs in the balance if I don't. But for the moment... Just go. I need to think... Please?'

That was rock bottom. There was no way the conversation was going to go any further from there, not now... Not until Liz had time to process.

Reddington bowed his head, nodding slowly. Without a word, he turned and walked with heavy footsteps towards the door and out of the apartment. Liz fell once again, back onto the couch behind her, shaking her head miserably. In some regard, she was still in shock. She was angry, she was upset, she even felt like the room was spinning. Her gut churned... And finally, the tears began to fall. One by one, the droplets rolled down her cheeks, falling from her face and splashing below. Samar sat with her again, a gentle hand resting reassuringly against Liz's back, but otherwise she remained in contemplative silence, and allowing her friend to let it all out.   
'I'm sorry, Liz,' she eventually murmured, after several minutes had passed and the tears had begun to slow.   
'I'll be ok...' Liz sniffled back, though not at all convincingly. 'I think, somewhere in the back of my mind I figured it would be something like this. It's just difficult to know it for sure.'  

Samar dropped her gaze, now her turn to bite her lip and stare regretfully at the wooden floor. She too, had suspected Tom was probably gone, and she wasn't at all surprised that Liz had as well. It was, after all, a huge part of the reason that Liz had been the one to start the ball rolling with the idea of leaving Tom's name off Sammy's birth certificate... Much like Samar hadn't wanted to need Ressler's signature, Liz hadn't wanted to need Tom's either if an important decision for Sammy came about, and they were still unable to find him. However, now the problem was not only knowing that Tom really was gone, but that Liz was now all the more mystified about her family's past as well... And that only made Samar feel all the more guilty about having forced Reddington's hand.  

'No...' She said slowly, shaking her head. 'I mean, I'm sorry you had to find out like this. I wanted you to have closure, but I didn't know that was what Reddington was going to tell you. I thought Tom would just have been missing or in hiding somewhere...' Samar paused, taking a breath through her gritted teeth. 'I told Reddington to tell you the truth. Knowing it now, I probably shouldn't have.' Liz turned in her seat, staring back at Samar in utter disbelief.   
'You _told_ Reddington to tell me the truth?' Samar winced.  
'...Yes.'   
'...I don't know whether I love you or hate you right now,' Liz muttered darkly.  
'I don't think I blame you, to be honest,' Samar sighed. They sat there in silence once more, side by side and completely uncertain. It was one more overwhelming thing for Liz to process... And all the while Samar internally berated herself for unearthing such a mess, for getting involved –though with good intentions- in Reddington's mysteries.  

And then, Liz furrowed her brow in confusion.

'Wait a minute... Reddington doesn't do anything just because people tell him to,' she murmured. 'How did you convince him?' Samar slowly lifted her gaze, shooting Liz a wary glance.  
'I may have... Threatened him, sort of.' Liz blinked, utterly bewildered for a second.   
'You _threatened_ Raymond Reddington?' She asked, her eyes wide with stunned disbelief.   
'Yes,' Samar said, quite simply.   
'For _me?'_  
'Yes.' That time, Samar's tone was far more decisive. With that one, emphatic word it was clear; Samar wasn't afraid of Reddington, not when it came to looking out for the people she cared about.  

Nonetheless, there was a pause. Liz stared at her, somewhat torn between being honoured, and being absolutely furious. She pursed her lips in annoyance as she tried to figure out how to react. Samar just sat there, bracing herself for whatever came next.

Then suddenly, Liz punched her lightly on the side of her upper arm –not hard enough to cause damage or incite a response, but certainly there was a _little_ more force than a casual, friendly, joking strike.  
'Ow, _Liz_ ,' Samar protested, but still made no move to escape. Either way, Liz ignored the protest.   
'Samar-' Liz punched her in the arm again, and then again between every other word thereafter as if to make her point. '-Navabi... Were...You... _Trying_...To...Get...Yourself... _Killed_?'  
'What, _no_ -' Samar exclaimed, and Liz finally dropped her hands back to her knees, but continued to glower in irritation. Samar rubbed the spot on her arm, 'that _hurt_ , by the way.' Or rather, the punches were light enough that they probably wouldn't even bruise, but after ten of them in a row on the same spot it _did_ ache slightly for a minute or two.  
'Good,' Liz grumbled, and Samar eyed her warily. 'Remember that next time you try to do something so stupid. I don't want my best friend being killed, thank you very much.' The scowl on Liz's face instantly vanished in favour of something more sheepish, as Samar shook her head, sighing in relief. 'But... Thank you.' Liz shuffled further sideways on the couch to wrap her arms around Samar and bury her face against her shoulder. And with that out the of way, the tears slowly began to fall once more.  

Samar let her shoulders relax, deeming it safe to hug Liz back... But then the second she did so, Liz –with her face still buried miserably against Samar's shoulder and her attempts at a warning voice muffled as a result- spoke up again;  
'Though, I still hate you a little bit.' Samar forced herself to hold back a chuckle, and shifted her arms around Liz a little tighter instead.  
'That's ok, I'll survive.'

/*/*/*/*

They had sat in silence again for a while longer –this time not so awkward or uncertain but rather, in simple, quiet solidarity with one another. Liz cried intermittently, still coming to terms with her suspicions finally being confirmed as reality, and Samar stayed with her close by, and murmuring whatever comforting words she could think of until even Liz conceded that it was getting late, and Samar probably needed to get home.  

By the time Samar did get home, Leila was still sound asleep and even Aram had gone to bed. Wearily, she peered down into Leila's crib, smiling softly at her little girl sleeping so contently, before continuing onwards to the master bedroom, changing out of her clothes and into a tank top and cotton sleep shorts, and clambering into bed beside Aram. It took mere seconds for him to roll over –still only half-asleep- and wrap a comforting arm across her as Samar laid back, taking a deep breath and enjoying the sensation of resting at last.   
'How did it go?' Aram murmured, shifting across the bed. Eyes still closed, he pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek. Samar turned her head on the pillow to face him, leaning her forehead against his.   
'I'm not so sure that I did the right thing now,' she sighed in response. Aram opened his eyes, furrowing his brow. He still didn't know what it was that Reddington had told them –Aram assumed he'd find out soon enough, once they were all better rested- but Samar had eventually relented and told him of their phone call.   
'Liz was always going to wonder what happened,' he said gently. 'And she would have pushed to find out what happened eventually too, even if you hadn't stepped in.'  
'She was so upset...' Samar shook her head miserably, curling her legs around to entangle them with his.  
'Did you think she wouldn't be?'  
'No... I knew she'd be upset at Tom being gone, but it was the reason _why_ he's gone that surprised us both and made it worse.' Biting his lip contemplatively, Aram brushed the loose hair back off her face with his fingertips.  
'It's not your fault that he's gone,' he murmured.  
'I know, it's just...' Samar trailed off. She gritted her teeth, that now all too familiar –and difficult- sensation of irritation at seeing the people she cared about hurt, bubbling up inside and making her gut churn again.   
'...You don't like seeing her upset, I know,' Aram finished the sentence for her, smiling softly. 'That's because Liz is your friend and you look out for her.'  
' _Our_ friend,' Samar corrected him –albeit gently.  'And we _both_ look out for each other. Liz has seen enough of my drama too, over the last year or so.' She paused, rolling her eyes in amusement; 'something about belly buddies or baby buddies or whatever the ridiculous thing was that came out of her mouth back then.'  
' _There's_ the Samar I know,' Aram chuckled back, before quickly taking on a more serious, sympathetic expression again. 'We'll keep an eye on Liz at work tomorrow but for now, you need to rest too.' Samar let out a small, weary sigh, curling up against his side entirely once and for all, before whispering her response;  
'Ok.' 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, 'Motherhood'.
> 
> -Just a reminder that this story *is* Liz-ship-neutral in regards to the main three, so no negative comments about *any* characters, please. As I said at the top; an absence needed explaining, a character needed closure, but respect *is* still owed. That is it. Everyone can have their own opinions and theories on characters -especially the controversial ones- but let's all be nice to each other about it. As also said, this is wrapping up that particular element of the story; what Reddington said to Liz here is the end of it. I don't really want to delve into the more detailed mysteries of her past in this story, I'd rather leave that particular privilege to the writers of the show itself. I also don't want to be constructing any of our major characters as huge villains just for the sake of serving another purpose, or alienating any readers. Arguments between characters as they struggle with major changes is one thing, villainy is another.   
> Next up for Liz will be revealed in 'Milestones -Part 2' which is Chapter 59.


	56. Motherhood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Friday-Sunday, May 12-14, 2017.

**_FRIDAY NIGHT..._ **

'Aram, _relax_ ,' Samar laughed. Aram was chafing at the bit, as he stalled from packing the last few items he needed for their weekend away in Delaware, into the duffel bag strewn across the bed. Samar, meanwhile, had finished rounding up her last few things an hour earlier and now stood there, observing Aram with a hint of amusement as he debated vehemently with himself –out loud- about spending the weekend away visiting his own mother for Mother's Day, versus staying in DC so that Liz wouldn't spend the very same holiday on her own. It seemed particularly awful, in the wake of the news about Tom’s passing, to leave her to celebrate her first Mother’s Day alone.... But as Samar strolled across the bedroom to rest a reassuring hand on Aram’s shoulder, Samar couldn't help but give him a sympathetic smile. 'I've got it covered,' she murmured gently.  

Aram's head snapped up in surprise.

'What do you mean you've got it covered?' He asked, furrowing his brow suspiciously as he glanced back at her.  
'I knew you would be having this dilemma,' Samar said, shrugging nonchalantly, 'so I called your mom. She said Liz and Sammy should just come with us.' She paused for a moment, suddenly smirking. 'Actually, apparently both your parents were already assuming that was happening, especially after we all spent Christmas together.' Aram raised a curious eyebrow.  
'You called my mom?' Samar rolled her eyes in mock exasperation.   
' _That's_ the part that surprises you?'  
'Well, the assumption is typical of them, I guess.'  
'Yes, I called your mom. It's not exactly the first time,' Samar said, all too matter-of-factly. 'Liz does too, on occasion. Your mom does claim to have adopted us both, remember? How else are we supposed to keep in touch with her and update her on the kids?' Aram tipped his head to her, in recognition of such.   
'No, no, I know...' He said, nodding in understanding. Samar _had_ , after all, called his parents when he was sick a few months earlier too. 'I meant that in the sense of; you called my mom and the two of you sorted all this out, just like that?'  
'Yep,' Samar practically chirped. 'Well... I may as well have _some_ fun with this holiday, right?' Now it was Aram's turn to roll his eyes in mock exasperation.   
'What's wrong with Mother's Day?'  
'Nothing's wrong with Mother's Day.' Samar paused, shifting awkwardly on her feet for a moment. 'It's just been a while, so I'm not used to celebrating it.' The teasing expression on Aram's face softened. He hadn't thought about it like that before, but it was true; Samar hadn't had cause to celebrate Mother's Day since before her parents were killed... And that really _was_ a while ago. 'Liz and I are both in the same boat in that regard, and now it's a first for both of us, so... It doesn't seem right if we don't celebrate it together. Your mom agreed. It's really not a big deal.'   
'Liz knows this is happening, right?' Aram pointed out, recognising the moment to drop his questioning about Samar's feelings towards the holiday itself. 'We're not going to arrive at her place early tomorrow morning and make her scramble to pack?' Samar shook her head, smiling a little. She wasn't quite _that_ thoughtless.   
'She knows, I told her yesterday.'  
'Hey,' Aram objected, 'when were you going to tell _me_?'  
'Tomorrow,' Samar chuckled again, 'it's more fun to surprise you.' Aram raised his eyes to the ceiling, shaking his head. Samar hadn't been kidding; she really was going to be mischievous and have her fun with the weekend. But –Aram pressed a kiss to her cheek all the same as he thought about it- at least she had relented and told him earlier when she needed to.  

/*/*/*/*

**_SATURDAY..._ **

The arrival at Mehri and Naveed's was chaotic given the sudden crowd of people, but in the best possible way. It was quite possibly the most genuinely happy Liz had looked in the near two weeks since Reddington's revelations about Tom, despite Samar and Aram's efforts to cheer her up in the time between. After warm greetings and hugs all around, and the shuffling of everyone's bags to their respective spare rooms upstairs, Leila and Sammy played happily on the living room floor, surrounded by everyone but Naveed... Which was to say, Leila pushed herself onto all fours but still couldn’t quite move forwards, all the while Sammy now crawled around the space with ease and kept moving around Leila in circles, dragging Ziggy along the floor behind her. Mehri in particular, had delighted in seeing the new development for herself at last. Naveed had grinned in proud delight too, but otherwise ducked away to the entry hall to replace the light bulb that had blown just as they had all arrived –promising, of course, that he would be back again soon enough.  

There was a sudden tearing noise, followed immediately by a startled wail.

The gazes of everyone in the room snapped to Sammy, the tears now streaming down her rosy cheeks. Liz cringed as she lunged forward to pick Sammy up off the floor, and realised exactly what had happened; Ziggy the zebra had caught around Sammy's leg while being dragged along... And in the entanglement, his own fuzzy, fabric leg had torn at the seam, now dangling precariously by a thread from the rest of the stuffed animal's body.   
'Oh no,' Samar muttered, cringing as she too, spotted the dilemma. Liz, however, didn't respond. She was too preoccupied with hurriedly trying to calm Sammy's distressed cries, rubbing her back and murmuring softly in her ear.

As if on cue, triggered either by the sudden noise, or by the sudden absence of her friend from her side –or perhaps, _both_ \- Leila too, began to cry.

With a sigh, Samar slid down from the couch to the floor. She reached out, lifting Leila off the floor and pulling her in close to settle her. Aram watched on helplessly, but Mehri rose from the couch, ducked across the room to the aged, wooden shelving unit that housed various books, photo frames, ornaments, and other things, and pulled down her wicker sewing box. Just as quickly, Mehri scurried back. Ever so calmly, she leaned down by Liz's side, pressing a soft, reassuring kiss to the top of Sammy's head, and gently prying the wounded toy from her grasp.   
'Ssshhh... Sammy,' Mehri whispered, 'we can fix Ziggy nice and quick, it'll just take me a couple of minutes.' Liz shot her an appreciative look. Samar shuffled slightly sideways across the floor, making space for Mehri to take the position next to Liz on the couch that she had occupied just moments earlier. Mehri sat, keeping Ziggy directly within Sammy's sight as she pulled some thread through the eye of a needle, and quickly got to work. Sammy's eyes, peering over Liz's shoulder, stayed transfixed on the flashing sliver of silver weaving expertly back and forth through the top of Ziggy's leg. After a while, Leila's did too –her little legs pushing against Samar's as Samar held her up to see. Both continued to fuss, the intermittent grizzling seeming to be as far as their combined stress could reduce for the moment.  

'There we go,' Mehri hummed, tying off and trimming the remaining thread, and poking the needle back into its plastic box. She held up the beloved zebra for Sammy to see, nudging it slowly over Liz's shoulder. 'See, Sammy?' She said softly, 'Ziggy's all better now.' The grizzling faded as Sammy's tiny fingers tentatively curled around Ziggy's snout, pulling the zebra closer. Just like that, the smile returned to Sammy's face in an instant.  
'Thank you,' Liz said, nodding earnestly.  
'Don't mention it.' Mehri grinned, her eyes twinkling mischievously. 'It's not the first time I've had to perform emergency surgery on a stuffed animal, and I doubt it'll be the last.' She shifted her gaze to Leila, chucking her on the chin as she continued to happily muse; 'I imagine I'll be sewing up Mr Spikes' tail one day too, with the way you keep tugging on it.'

The relief and amusement in the room lasted all of seconds, when the sound of glass smashing heavily on the ground, came sailing through the air.

'Oh, _Dad_ ,' Aram gasped, leaping from his seat and rushing past the others, across the room and towards the entry hall. The rest of them all followed quickly on his heels, only to be greeted by the sight of Naveed laying back on the rug, apparently having fallen from the step ladder that he had been standing on while changing the lightbulb. The light fitting had fallen too, shattering beside him. Most of the glass had just missed him, except for _one_ piece... And that one piece had left a short gash across the left of his forehead, just below the hairline. Naveed growled under his breath to himself as he sat up. The blood seeping from the cut began to roll down the side of his face and with a touch of annoyance, he tried to wipe it away with his fingertips –instead only making it look _worse_.  

'Dad, you need to be more careful,' Aram sighed, crouching down on the floor by his father's side to help him sit up when he refused to lay still. 'You're going to make your shoulder even worse.'  
'My shoulder has to be replaced anyway,' Naveed muttered in response. 'What's the point of practically keeping this one in bubble wrap when the surgery's already booked...' He paused. Aram shook his head, not at all agreeing with his father's logic but knowing better than to argue with it. Naveed was no less stubborn than the rest of them. If anything, he was probably one of the _most_ stubborn of all of them, vying for the crown with Samar. 'Besides, it's just a stepladder.'  
'You still fell _off_ the stepladder,' Aram reminded him.   
'You would fall off a stepladder too if you heard both your grandchildren start screaming at once in the next room, and you instinctively turned to figure out what was going on,' Naveed grumbled... Not that either Sammy nor even Leila, really, were _technically_ his grandchildren. But nobody was about to point that out.   
'We had an emergency surgery situation for Ziggy,' Mehri chirped matter of factly, as if that explained _everything_ , 'but it's resolved now.' She too, crouched down by Naveed's other side, resting a firm hand on his shoulder to prevent him from moving any further. 'And stop trying to move, I want to make sure you don't have a concussion before you go anywhere else.'  
'Mehri, I'm ok,' Naveed protested, albeit more softly to his wife. 'You don't need to fuss.'  
'Oh hush, you're not my first patient today,' she commented, almost jovially, in fact. There was no doubt that Mehri was concerned, but she was nowhere near as put-off by the blood as the others –Liz and Aram in particular. Naveed sighed to himself once more –even he knew the small gash looked worse than it was- but Mehri was already busying herself with inspecting the wound, and nobody else was going to stop her. Naveed was outnumbered.   
'How are Ziggy and Sammy?' He asked, peering curiously over Mehri's shoulder at Liz.   
'They're just fine,' Liz said softly. An amused grin broke through the concern on her face as she noted the topic change in Naveed's small talk while he waited impatiently... And she wasn't the only one.  
'Oh, look at you. You're bleeding on the floor, and you're more worried about the little ones and their toys, than yourself,' Mehri chuckled. 'You might look tough and scary on the outside, but you're all soft and squishy on the inside.'  
'Mehri...' Naveed sighed again, this time in mild exasperation. Regardless, the look he gave his wife wasn't at all annoyed.   
'We've been married for just over fifty years, don't tell me it's not true,' she said, with a wry smile. 'Does your head hurt?'  
'Only where the glass cut me, I didn't hit anything.'  
'Good. Now, follow my finger.' Mehri held up one finger in front of his nose, moving it slowly side to side a few times. Naveed did as instructed –and without complaint- tracking her finger with his eyes until she was satisfied. Finally, Mehri lowered her hand to gently pat him on the shoulder, shooting him a teasing smile. 'Well done, dear. You don't have a concussion.'  
'I could have told you that,' Naveed retorted, but Mehri ignored him.   
'Come on,' she said gently, 'up you get, and to the kitchen so I can clean you up.' She rose, standing back a little, unfortunately unable –considering their difference in stature- to help him up with any degree of efficiency. Regardless, Aram –still on Naveed's other side- put one arm around him, and Samar stepped forward as well. Essentially swapping positions with the older woman for the moment, Samar put one arm around Naveed too, while Mehri took Leila. Naveed let out a groan as he pushed himself up off the floor, no amount of support from Aram and Samar quite able to change the fact that his joints were not at all what they used to be, and that –injured or not- getting up off the floor was always going to be a struggle.  

With Sammy in tow, Liz brought up the rear of the group as they moved on from the entry hall through to the kitchen.

Once satisfied that Naveed was standing up again and wasn't likely to stumble, Aram released his grip. Without a single word of instruction, he pulled over one chair from the dining table along into the centre of the kitchen with them, and Naveed promptly sat down. Samar –now also letting go, and taking Leila back from Mehri- and Liz both eyed the movement with distinct interest. Clearly, Mehri's first aid process was far from an unfamiliar concept in the Mojtabai household.  

'Mehri, are you sure he doesn't need a hospital?' Liz piped up, part curious, part still concerned, as Mehri set about wiping away the worst of the blood from Naveed's face, and then cleaning the wound itself more gently.   
'I'm fine,' Naveed grumbled again.  
'She wasn't asking _you_ , stubborn,' Mehri gently scolded him –and lightly swatted him over the shoulder too- as she always did when he was being difficult. She turned her head, giving Liz a reassuring smile; 'don't worry Elizabeth, I can do this here.'  

Aram quietly moved past them both, reaching into the top of the cupboard for what was probably the most intense home first aid kit Samar or Liz had ever seen. From the outer, it almost resembled a large fishing tackle box, with all kinds of compartments, drawers and trays. Except, they were filled with all kinds of different dressings, tools, and other things the rest of them couldn't identify –but Samar was fairly certain they either belonged in or came from a hospital. Or _both_. Aram set the box down on the counter beside Mehri without a word, then resumed his position beside Samar and Liz on the opposite side of it.  

Mehri pulled on another fresh pair of gloves, removed a pair of plastic tweezers from some sterile packaging, and then set about plucking the few tiny pieces of glass from Naveed's forehead that had broken away from the larger shard. From there, she unwrapped an oval shaped package, that revealed something Liz and Samar _were_ all too familiar with;

A suture kit, with all its sterile thread and a needle. Liz's eyes went wide in mild horror.

'Is she seriously going to stitch him up in the middle of the kitchen?' Liz hissed quietly to Aram.  
'Yep,' Aram sighed, with a hint of resignation. 'I'd prefer the hospital too, but she was a nurse... And if she's already checked to make sure he doesn't have a concussion, _technically_ she can manage this here.' He narrowed his eyes as he watched on, clearly knowing better than to argue with his mother, just as he did with his father.   
'Better than waiting in the ER for four hours, just for a couple of stitches,' Mehri observed, muttering to herself in response to their indignation. Even Naveed had to agree there, given the circumstances. Samar nodded too, in fact, immediately causing Liz and Aram to eye her warily.   
'What? I hate hospitals, you know that,' she reminded them. 'And what's a hospital going to do that your mom can't, seeing as she clearly knows what she's doing?'  
'I don't know, maybe send him for a CT scan or something?' Aram suggested, still watching the proceedings like a hawk.  
'Don't be dramatic, Aram. He doesn't need a CT scan,' Mehri shot back with a hint of amusement.  
'Personally, I don't think I even need the stitches, it's only a small gash,' Naveed continued to protest, and then instinctively hissed and bit his lip as the needle first pierced his skin.   
'We're still not asking you, dear,' Mehri murmured, her concentration now entirely focused on the task at hand. 'Sit _still_ , or this one will be as jagged as the scar on Aram's foot.'

Liz threw a curious look in Aram's direction, but Samar simply smirked. She had seen the scar and heard the story before.

'I was _nine_ , and I dropped a butter knife while I was making toast for breakfast,' Aram explained quietly, and Liz shook her head in disbelief.   
'Yes, and _you_ wouldn't sit still either,' Mehri observed. Aram continued to watch her warily.   
'Aram, it's really not that much to worry about, even I can do stitches,' Samar tried to reassure him, but instead only caused Aram to raise an eyebrow in concern. 'It's part of Mossad training,' she said, in explanation. 'We have to be able to do basic field medicine in case of emergencies. Stitches, tourniquets, that sort of thing.' Samar paused to observe Mehri for a moment longer before speaking thoughtfully again; 'that said, my stitches probably wouldn't be as neat. In the field, the priority is more about speed when you're ducking for cover from flying shrapnel, than precision.' Aram furrowed his brow, instantly running through all her scars in his mind. Some, like those he knew were surgical scars from more recent incidents –the one on her abdomen from the airport, for example- were neat and straight... Whereas others were jagged, rather like the one on his foot.   
'So...' He began quietly, and shifted awkwardly on his feet. 'That one just above your hip that's all over the place?' Aram eyes darted across to glance at her curiously, and with a touch of embarrassment at the realisation at the fact that his voice hadn't been as quiet as intended. Everyone had heard the question. Liz smirked in response, but Samar was unfazed.   
'Oh, that one-' Samar nodded nonchalantly at the memory '-that's the worst one I had to do, it's surprisingly difficult to get yourself at the right angle to stitch up your own side.'  
'You stitched _yourself_ up?' Liz exclaimed, glancing at Samar in alarm. She'd had plenty of her own stitches in the past, but never like that.   
'What was I supposed to do?' Samar objected. 'Let it bleed? I was on my own.' Aram gave what felt like his umpteenth exasperated sigh of the day.   
'And the one on your ankle?' He asked warily, 'did you do that one too?'  
'No, that was Levi,' Samar said, and more softly this time. 'When we were in France.' A small smile tugged at her lips –but stopped as soon as she noted Liz and Aram raising their eyebrows. 'I slipped in the garden behind the house we were staying in, and cut myself on some broken paving stones,' she explained quickly, trying to shrug away the memory.  
'And there was flying shrapnel in the backyard?' Liz asked drolly. Samar shook her head.   
'No, that one isn't jagged because of time pressures, we were just both impatient and I wasn't all that worried about what it would look like.' Aram raised his eyes to the ceiling. 'What?' Samar chortled; 'it was on the side of my ankle, not my face. Who's going to be looking at it?'

'There, all done,' Mehri's voice broke through the bickering. She patted Naveed on the shoulder again, and kissed the top of his head. 'Just two stitches... Now, was that so bad?' Naveed grumbled to himself in response, but pecked a kiss to her cheek anyway when he thought nobody else was looking. Aram and Liz were otherwise focused on shaking their heads or helping Mehri tidy up, but Samar caught the tiny gesture –not that she was going to bring it up. Naveed squeezed Mehri's hand too, as she brushed past him to clean up the counter; a discreet but no less meaningful ' _thank you_ ' despite his grumblings. Samar had noticed during her casual observations that he did that. Naveed was far quieter and more stoic than Mehri, but he was no less affectionate. Small kisses, hand squeezes or the gentle brush of a hand against her arm or waist were common. They could go all day being so engrossed in their own hobbies or tasks that they barely spoke, but just about any time Naveed moved past Mehri anywhere, there was a small gesture of some kind nonetheless. Half the time, it seemed as if Naveed didn't even realise he was doing it –like it was more an instinctive movement, a simple reassurance or acknowledgement of one another's presence, and his utter adoration of her- but Mehri always did. Every time, despite the fact she didn't comment, a small, happy smile tugged at her lips at his touch. It was sweet.

...And Samar noticed, because Aram was exactly the same. He could even be at his most cranky point from a lack of sleep, and his fingertips would still brush against hers wherever they happened to find themselves in their apartment.  

'Thank you,' Naveed finally said out loud, as he slowly stood from the dining chair –and thus jolted Samar from her musings. 'Now, I should probably go sweep up all that glass...' Mehri's head whipped around to shoot him an utterly exasperated look, and Naveed instantly bowed his head.  
'You, _sit_ ,' Mehri ordered him, pointing in the opposite direction at the couch in the living room, 'and _rest._ You've done enough today.' Naveed gave a defeated sigh, but nonetheless trudged off without protest, all the while Mehri tutted under her breath.  
'I can do the cleaning up,' Samar offered, holding back a smirk. Mehri nodded her assent, and Samar ducked past to reach for the broom.  

/*/*/*/*

**_SATURDAY EVENING..._ **

The day went on, the two little ones resumed their play –around midday naps, of course- and everyone else continued to fuss on and off over Naveed. The fall from the stepladder, despite the fact that the result wasn't overly serious, only became Mehri's latest reason to gently try and convince him that they should downsize and move closer to DC. Naveed disagreed; he liked the idea of being closer to the kids, but he also didn't want to move. Aram was torn, having seen a small handful of real estate flyers that Mehri had left laying around, and spent most of the day thinking about it in the back of his mind. Mostly though, he was pro-move, and wanting his parents to be closer in case of further accidents.  

Needless to say, the debate wasn't quite what any of them were hoping for when they all decided to spend the weekend together.

It eventually wore off, at least, and Naveed escaped upstairs for some space while Mehri began to make dinner. Aram and Liz both tried to help, not that their lack of kitchen ability proved helpful at all, and used the time to continue discussing the idea amongst themselves. Samar, however, broke free from the group and slowly made her way upstairs too.  

At the end of the upstairs hallway, there was a balcony where Naveed now stood, gazing contemplatively out at the sunset.  

'Mind if I stand out here for a while?' Samar asked quietly. Naveed turned his head to glance back at her over his shoulder, smiling softly and gesturing at the space beside him for her to do so.   
'The others are all still conspiring downstairs, aren't they?' He asked.   
'Mmhmm.' Samar nodded slowly, and Naveed sighed.   
'Did they send you up here to talk to me?'  
'No,' Samar chuckled to herself, before quickly taking on a more serious tone, 'I've just never been good at conspiring that way, or at making a fuss of people. I thought I should leave them to it.' She stared out at the sky, pausing for a moment to observe the beautiful colours swirling across. The light broke through the spattering of clouds, leaving a hazy, pink wave across the purpling sky. 'Can I ask...' She eventually spoke up again, and Naveed glanced at her curiously. 'Everyone has been trying to convince you to move, but they haven't asked you _why_ you don't want to. Why don't you want to?'  

Naveed simply stared back at her for a moment, surprised by the question. Then, he took a breath, staring thoughtfully at the clouds once more.

'This house,' he murmured. 'I don't want to leave it.' Naveed shook his head sadly, and Samar listened patiently. 'You know, when Mehri and I first bought this place, it was falling apart at the seams. It was the only reason we were able to buy a house this big. But, it was ours... And we've lived here ever since. Long before Aram was born, and it was just the two of us, and it was _our_ space. We fixed it up together, and now look at it.'  
'It's beautiful,' Samar said, the sincerity clear in her voice. And indeed it was; no part of the house fell apart at the seams anymore. It was always well maintained, and lovingly so. Mehri and Naveed had restored it fully, and now nobody would know from looking at it, that it had ever looked any different.  
'I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I lived in a tiny apartment in the city, instead of here,' Naveed continued. 'When I'm not reading the newspaper or something like that, I spend my days just pottering around this house... I keep the fence painted, the deck sealed and polished, and I have my vegetable garden and fruit trees in the backyard, too. Maybe they're right, and I probably shouldn't put so much strain on my shoulder... But what am I supposed to do in an apartment? Mehri reads, and she cooks, and she knits... But you can do those anywhere.'  
'There _is_ something to be said for having a kitchen with a decent amount of counter space if you like cooking,' Samar pointed out, albeit gently.   
'True,' Naveed conceded, chuckling to himself. 'But everything I do involves space. I would be so bored in an apartment, Samar, and I would hate that.'  
'I can understand that,' Samar said, nodding. Naveed gave her a curious look, and Samar bowed her head, a tiny smile tugging at her lips at the memory. 'Being on maternity leave nearly killed me.' Naveed gave a small 'ah' of instant understanding, and grinned knowingly.   
'So I heard.'  
'It’s not much, but... You like playing chess in the park, don't you?' Naveed nodded. 'You can still do that in DC, at least.'  
'I know,' he murmured. 'And I guess if we move, we'd be closer to all of you and spend more time with the little ones.' He met Samar's gaze again, shaking his head in frustration. 'But you see, I never even considered the idea that one day we would sell this place. This is our home, I had thought we would stay here... I had thought that one day, we would leave this place to Aram, and maybe in the future he could raise his family here too.' Naveed rolled his eyes at himself as he caught the amused expression on Samar's face. 'It's silly, I know. You both have careers in Washington... But maybe one day, when you're older, or if you ever decide the FBI isn't where you want to be anymore... Or even if you keep it as some kind of holiday home where you could take Leila on long weekends. It’s a good place for kids.'

Naveed sighed, but Samar had to agree with the sentiment. The wide backyard and its beautiful garden would be perfect for Leila to run around in as she grew up.  

'The sad thing is, I don't think I have much of a choice. We have to stay in Washington for a while when I have my shoulder surgery anyway, and Mehri and I are getting older. I guess we'll have to move eventually...' Naveed frowned miserably, and Samar found herself sliding her hand across the balcony's railing to squeeze his hand. It was easily the most she had ever heard him speak at once before, but she could understand everything he was saying. Upending one's life after so long, and making such a huge move was never going to be easy. 'I was just hoping it wouldn't be for a few more years. I'm just not ready to leave this house yet.'  
'What if you don't sell it?' She suggested gently. 'What if you move to DC, but don't sell this place. At least for a little while, anyway. You could lease it out instead, and then every so often you could come back and do some maintenance... Or, if you decide you really hate living in an apartment, you would have the option to come back here still.'

The older man nodded thoughtfully, and was just about to respond, when Liz's voice drifted up from down the hall, announcing out of nowhere that dinner was ready. With a shared look of exasperation, Naveed and Samar turned away from the balcony and back down the hall, one after the other... Both heads were bowed, but the small smiles crossing both their faces were shared nonetheless.  

/*/*/*/*

**_SUNDAY MORNING..._ **

Aram scurried down the stairs, curiously tilting his head as the low noise of a murmuring voice grew clearer. He had awoken to the light creaking in through the curtains, only to find Samar gone from the other side of the bed. From there, he had peered through the door to the room being shared by Sammy and Leila, only to find Sammy still sound asleep, but Leila gone too. The rest of the household was still asleep, but as Aram reached the last step and stopped just short of the archway to the kitchen –gift bags dangling from his fingertips- he had his answer.  

Samar ambled happily around the kitchen, Leila babbling and giggling in her arms. She was chattering away absentmindedly in Farsi too, as she made the coffee.  

Aram couldn't help but grin as he stood in the archway, watching them, Samar having apparently not yet noticed his presence behind her.

'Moosh bokhoradet,' Samar murmured brightly, as Leila squealed in delight in response to raspberries being blown on her cheeks. Aram's grin widened a little more; _moosh bokhoradet..._ Or, _may a mouse eat you_. It was one of the few Farsi phrases he recognised, _not_ from Samar having taught it to him. It was one that Mehri had frequently said to him when he was little and in essence, meant that the recipient was particularly adorable. Samar kept chattering away –not that Aram necessarily understood all of what she was saying. She was trying to be quiet, but Leila certainly wasn't. The squirming little girl was now plastering her tiny hands all over Samar's face -seemingly wanting to keep playing- and her excited babbling rose louder in volume each time Samar ducked. Needless to say, Samar's chuckling to herself did little in her attempts to calm the noise. Aram crept slowly further forward, until he was just at the end of the countertop.

Samar's back was still towards him.

'Good morning,' he said, smiling softly. Samar instantly spun around on the spot to see him standing there.   
'Hey,' she breathed, still caught in her surprise. Regardless, she broke into a wide smile of her own, and Aram took those last few steps closer to press a kiss to her lips.   
'Why are you awake so early?' Aram whispered.   
'Body clock woke me up at the time I'd usually go for a run,' Samar sighed. Aram lingered close to her, Leila quite comfortable in her state of being sandwiched between them. 'Then I heard Leila start to fuss and I couldn't get back to sleep so I figured... I may as well get up and calm her down before she wakes up Sammy and the pair of them wake up the whole house.' She gestured at the coffee machine on the counter now behind her, its contents not yet poured into mugs. 'Coffee?' She asked, quite simply.   
'Sure.' However, Aram –still holding the gift bags behind his back- continued to grin so adoringly, that Samar paused, narrowing her eyes in suspicion.   
'...What?' The one word question was slow and skeptical. All Aram could do, was press another kiss to her cheek.  
'Happy Mother's Day,' he hummed softly in her ear. Samar raised a wry eyebrow, but her lip twitched all the same.   
'Thank you,' she mused.

Aram dropped his hands from behind his back, and carefully set two of three gift bags on the counter; each was silver, but with different coloured swirls. Of the two on the counter, one had blue swirls and the other, orange. The third bag –with green swirls- he held up for Samar to see.

'Leila got you a present,' he said, trying desperately to sound matter of fact about it, but the twinkling mischief in his eyes gave it away.   
'Oh, did she now?' Samar chuckled, and then shifted her gaze to Leila. 'I guess you forgot to mention that when you woke up, huh?'  
'No, she's just good at keeping surprises a secret.'  
'Uh huh, if you say so.' Regardless, Aram ignored the teasing skepticism, and turned his attention back to the gift bag in his hand.  
'Present number one,' he began, in the utmost seriousness, as he pulled the first item out of the bag; a bright red mug emblazoned with curly white font that read 'Best Mom Ever.'  
'Ah, the clichés have started. I love it,' Samar teased, rolling her eyes in amusement.  
'I'd hope so,' Aram commented. He held one hand up across the side of his face as if to stop anyone else but Samar from hearing him stage whisper; 'you better put your coffee in that too, or you might offend Leila. She even picked out the colour, you know.' Samar merely raised a wry eyebrow as Aram continued; 'there were red ones and blue ones, and Leila pointed at the red one.'  
'Pointed, or just waved her hands around in that general direction?' Samar asked with a smirk. Regardless, she took the mug in hand and quickly rinsed it in the sink before pouring her coffee.   
'Don't ruin my fun,' he grumbled –albeit only jokingly. Aram was all too pleased to see the mug in use so quickly. 'Present number two...' He began again, reaching for the second time into the bag. Out came a small velvet lined box about as big as Aram's palm –the kind that typically came from jewellery stores- instantly piquing Samar's curiosity. Aram opened it up, revealing a fine, gold chain necklace, with a simple, but no less stunning pendant; a sideways, almost swirly 'L' shape nearly as fine as the chain itself, with a sparkling, green stone in the bend.   
'It's beautiful,' Samar breathed, smiling softly. The sincerity was clear in her voice. Aram gestured for her to turn around and Samar did so, pulling her hair out of the way so he could close the little clasp behind her neck. Turning back again, she pressed a delighted kiss first to Aram's cheek, and then Leila's. 'Thank you, Leila,' she said, before adding a wink in Aram's direction for good measure. Aram simply grinned at the continuation of the notion that the two presents were indeed, from the happily babbling munchkin between them.   
'What's the other bag for?' Samar asked.  

With one of them hers, Samar assumed at least one of the others was for Mehri. But, the third was a mystery.

'Oh, that one's for Liz,' Aram explained. 'Sammy went shopping too.'  
'When did you have time to sneak away _both_ kids and take them shopping without us noticing?' Samar asked, in utter disbelief.   
'Perhaps I forgot to mention...' Aram gave a dramatic sigh, shaking his head. 'I'm actually an ancient time traveller, and I use my skills to sneak away during work hours while the rest of you are in the field. It's a great way to get things done.' Samar rolled her eyes.  
'That explains so many things,' she observed, nodding sagely. 'I'm glad you use your powers for good, though.'  
'I think you're mixing up time lords with superheroes,' Aram huffed in mock indignation. 'But... I figured, Liz doesn't have a significant other to help Sammy go shopping, but it _is_ Mother's Day and she should get a present too, so...' He shrugged, shooting Samar a sheepish grin as he trailed off.   
'You took them shopping last weekend when Liz and I went out for those couple of hours on the Saturday afternoon, didn't you?' Samar asked drolly. 'Is that why you insisted that we leave the kids with you instead of taking them with us?'  
'Yep, pretty much.' Aram nodded quickly, unable to keep a straight face any longer.  

Samar's lip twitched in amusement at his antics. For all her teasing of him, it was hard not to find it genuinely sweet that Aram had thought to buy Liz a gift too –or further still, that he had gone the extra step to actually include Sammy in the plan. She rested a gentle hand along his cheek, murmuring appreciatively to him as he leaned his forehead softly against hers.   
'Thank you.'

/*/*/*/*

Liz came downstairs next, with little Sammy grumbling sleepily in her arms. Mehri and Naveed came downstairs together, hand in hand, the debate about moving having been –thankfully- left to rest once everyone had reached the dinner table the night before... Or at least, for the moment anyway. Mehri was just as pleased as Samar when it came to her own gift bag, containing two new books and a gift card to her favourite store -Aram insisting, of course, that she use it to treat herself. Liz's bag continued to sit on the counter, as Aram waited to see if she would notice it.

Mehri beat her to it.

She gazed at the card that hung from the handle, and instantly understood.

'Elizabeth,' Mehri said casually, drawing Liz's attention to the bag with the orange swirls. 'It seems Sammy bought you a gift too.' Liz frowned in confusion as she turned to read over the card for herself... But Mehri –once Liz wasn't looking- shot a proud, knowing grin in Aram's direction.   
'Ok, who kidnapped my daughter for a shopping trip?' Liz sighed in mock-exasperation, finally glancing up from the card. She raised a wry eyebrow, staring pointedly at Aram. He was, after all, the only candidate in the room who would have had both the time and the opportunity. It wasn't hard to guess. Regardless, Aram wasn't about to admit it.   
'Probably Leila,' he suggested, in all seriousness. 'They are best friends and she is pretty sneaky... Remember the cookie incident?' Samar rolled her eyes in amusement.  
'You're never going to let that go, are you?' Samar muttered. Aram shook his head, grinning. Samar sighed again, turning back curiously to Liz. 'What did you get?' Lip twitching in gleeful amusement, Liz peered into the bag, and pulled out a mug –not unlike Samar's in fact, except it was pink, and emblazoned with the phrase 'Super Mom.'  
'Ooh, perfect for coffee time,' Liz laughed. She handed the mug expectantly, over to Samar... And Samar, shaking her head in amused exasperation, rinsed it and poured in the coffee just as she had with her own, before handing it back to Liz.  

Taking a sip of her coffee, Liz pulled the next thing out of the bag; a beautiful scrapbook-style journal for pasting photos of Sammy and documenting milestones.  

'Oh, I've been wanting one of these for ages...' She gasped softly, flicking slowly through the pages. 'It's perfect.' Liz glanced up again, not knowing who to thank, given the ruse. Aram, however, maintained an expression that was as neutral and completely innocent as that of everyone else in the room... And so, Liz decided to roll with it. She tousled Sammy's hair and kissed the top of her head.  
'Thank you, Sammy,' she whispered, before darting around the counter to squeeze Leila's tiny fingers as well; 'and you too, Leila, for being her shopping buddy.'

It was only moments afterwards however, that Liz, Samar and Mehri were all promptly booted out of the kitchen. Naveed and Aram took over to make the Mother's Day breakfast before the younger three all had to pack up and slowly make their way back to DC in the afternoon. Aram was relegated to absolutely nothing but the pancakes he had been steadily perfecting since Christmas, while for Liz's sake, Naveed managed the waffles.  

Regardless, the breakfast was served up without issue... And as Aram delivered each plate to the table –quite pleased at the lack of burn marks on his pancake stack- it was hard to miss the smiles not just on Liz and Mehri's faces, but Samar's too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, the first half of a two-parter, in 'Lockdown'.


	57. Lockdown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Thursday, May 25, 2017.

It was a busy day, but thankfully it was nearly over...

... _Nearly_.

Reddington's latest case had led to the arrest of a whole variety of garden variety criminals, all of whom seemed to be leaders in completely different fields; everything from illegal arms dealing, money laundering and fraud, various contractors for hire –regarding which, Reddington told the team to quote "use your imaginations" end quote- and crime scene clean up.  

Reddington also followed that last order of business with a less than casual quip in response to Liz's observation that Mr Kaplan was the best in the business, by saying that _of course_ he was not trying to eliminate her competition as a birthday present.  

The operations of those criminals however, were indeed connected after all; it simply took some digging, some impatient prompting from Reddington, and some of Aram's usual tech wizardry. After that it was discovered that they were connected in such a tangled web of overall crime networking, that just the four suspects presently occupying each of the Post Office's four separate interrogation spaces, were going to close both current and cold cases numbering in the triple digits. It all hinged solely on their final statements –those that they each offered to incriminate the other three, in return for their own lighter sentences. Those statements, with each of the thugs rolling on each other with the same deal, were continuing to grow longer and longer as they all competed, each trying to make sure that they incriminated the others more than the others could incriminate them.

Needless to say, the taskforce was run ragged, juggling four interrogations at once and continuously running between them to corroborate each elaborate, complicated story.  

And then... The site-wide alarm sounded.

Aram's head snapped up from staring blankly at his monitor in an instant. He knew what that very specific siren meant. He recognised the loud rumbling of the security doors, the shutting down of the main lights, and the flashing of red as well. Aram had seen it all once before... When Liz had escaped interrogation when she first went on the run. Aram had hoped right then, that he would never hear that noise or see those lights again.  

It meant that at least one of those four thugs had broken out of their own interrogation rooms.

...And with the entire black site immediately locking down to prevent their further escape –even more strictly now, given how easily Liz had managed to get away back then- they were all locked _in_ with whichever thug was suddenly on the loose.  

A breath caught in Aram's throat as he processed that idea... And then the adrenaline kicked in. He shifted his gaze hurriedly back to his monitor, bringing the security camera feeds up on the screen and flicking through them as quickly as possible. He had to act fast. Aram couldn't stay there at his desk much longer; the war room was a wide open space, and it wasn't safe. The first few taps at the keyboard showed Ressler sprinting down the corridor from interrogation room two in the wake of the alarm sounding. The thug he had been questioning remained right where he was left behind. The next few keyboard taps revealed Liz just outside the door to interrogation room four, waiting and watching the door to the next interrogation room down –room three, from which Samar was en route towards her. Both of their own suspects also remained in place... Meanwhile, interrogation room one was empty. Ressler seemed to be on his way back in the direction of the war room. Samar and Liz, now side by side at the opposite side of the building from him, seemed to be heading in the opposite direction.  

Aram scanned through the feeds one more time.

The vicious contractor for hire from interrogation room one was nowhere to be found.

And then, the screen went dead. The power was cut. Aram's hand flew across his desk to his office phone and lifted it to his ear. There was no dial tone. The phone lines were down too. And as was the new protocol since Liz's cunning escape that had relied on Reddington and Cooper talking her through it all by phone, the site being shut down had triggered cell jammers and the automatic shutting down of the landlines to prevent escapees from communicating with the outside... Not that such a thing helped anyone in the current situation. The new protocols relied on the idea that agents would have access to handheld radios for internal communications –but the majority of those were in the armoury. Aram leapt from his desk chair, ready to head towards the armoury as was mandated by the protocols. The infiltration of Anslo Garrick's team some three and a half years earlier was flashing horrifyingly through his mind. A second alarm sounded, instantly stopping Aram in his tracks –the signal that in midst of the chaos, the security of yet another interrogation space had been breached. Aram froze as the realisation struck; he was torn. He could head towards the armoury, but...

_...The kids were downstairs_.

And there were now two exceptionally dangerous criminals on the loose in the same building.  

It wasn't quite the same as Garrick. Garrick's team had a plan and a target in mind. They had been after Reddington. But the two thugs on the loose weren't after anyone in particular. They were simply trying to escape... And Aram had no doubt that they wouldn't hesitate to hurt anyone who got in their way.

The alarm sounded a third time, and then a fourth. All _four_ criminals were now running rampant, completely unaware that they were in fact, _locked_ in the building with everyone they were trying to get away from. That made Aram's decision for him.

With his laptop shoved in his messenger bag, and the bag in question flung over his shoulder, Aram paused just to stop by Samar's desk, and then... He went sprinting.

/*/*/*/*

'We have to get to the armoury,' Samar breathed, ducking around the corner at the end of the corridor with Liz on her heels.  
'What about the kids?' Liz whispered back. Samar hesitated, considering that for a second. She took a breath, trying to stay calm despite the fact that the very same fear was swirling around more and more anxiously in her own mind as well.   
'We're unarmed,' she pointed out, her voice a fiercely determined attempt at something calm and careful. Weapons weren't permitted in interrogation spaces, for obvious reasons. Their firearms had been left in their locked desk drawers before going anywhere near the criminals they were now chasing. 'If we go downstairs and these guys find their way down there too, what are we going to do to protect the kids?' Liz bit her lip. It was true; physical capabilities aside, the numbers were uncertain. Samar and Liz had no idea where any other agents were or where they were going. They had no idea where in the building any of the thugs were going, or how many –if any- may or may not find their way into the child care centre. It could be as simple as one of them being easily pinned down on the floor by two agents with no weapons required, or it could be the far more dangerous possibility of all four thugs and not enough agents to go around. The kids alone wouldn't stop any escape plans, and the child care centre was nowhere near a main exit.  

It was a question of weighing up the risk.  

Agents in the vicinity, armed or not, could draw the attention of anyone on that floor was less than well-intended, and that could be disastrous. By contrast, going to the armoury first would delay Liz's and Samar's arrival downstairs but _hopefully_ , the thugs wouldn't go anywhere near the child care centre if it didn't pose them a threat. Neither was a particularly great option.   
'Armoury first,' Liz conceded, weighing it up in her mind. 'And then _straight_ downstairs.' Samar nodded her instant agreement; not even she was going to delay heading downstairs any longer than absolutely necessary.

/*/*/*/*

Aram scurried down the corridor, nearly skidding as he rounded the last corner towards the armoury. The gun from Samar's desk drawer was tucked into his belt; whether it was to stop anyone else from finding it and taking it, or whether it was for him to use, Aram didn't really know. He hadn't thought it that far through. But he knew Samar wouldn't be going back to the war room, he knew the gun was there, and he was the one who held the spare key to unlock her desk. Aram's protective instinct had kicked in and he had simply reached for it without even realising what he was doing. If anything, he didn't really want to think about it. Neither of the last two times he had held a gun in that building were good memories _at all_.  

Now Aram had tunnel vision, staring down that corridor, running ever closer towards the room with all the radios.  

He didn't even see Ressler coming towards him from the opposite end of the corridor.

'Hey, _Aram_ ,' he hissed. Aram froze, suddenly looking up in terror. For a second it almost didn't click in his brain who was speaking.   
'Wha-what are you doing down here?' Aram stammered back, blinking wildly. Ressler waved one arm, gesturing to the armoury's security door.  
'We need weapons,' he said simply. Aram paused for a moment. Weapons. Of course. With one already tucked into his belt, he hadn't even thought of going to the armoury for that purpose. 'What are you doing down here?' Ressler spoke again.  
'We need comms,' Aram whispered back. Ressler nodded slowly in response, pulling his ID out of his trouser pocket and swiping his way through the armoury's secure door. Aram followed close behind. Ressler went straight for the tactical gear, strapping on a vest and throwing another in Aram's direction, before pulling down as much weaponry and spare ammunition from the shelves as he could carry. Aram meanwhile, while strapping on his own vest, curiously eyed the cage-doored cabinet that housed the communications equipment. 'Hey, Ressler...' He began slowly.  
'Mmmm?'  
'I don't think we're the first ones in here.'

Ressler turned on the spot in alarm, his heart racing rapidly as he looked back to see what Aram was staring at.

The door to the cabinet was closed, but there were six empty spaces inside... And _five_ of the radios that belonged in their places now sat on the ledge just in front.   
'Five moved, and one missing?' Ressler asked quietly, his voice barely more than a whisper. He took another quick glance around the room; there were a small handful of munitions missing from the next shelf over, but only one vest.   
'That's too many for our four bad guys,' Aram observed.  
'Too many for us, Samar, Liz, and Cooper too.'   
'Samar and Liz were on the opposite side of the war room... They wouldn't have been able to get here before us, they'd have to go around the whole catwalk first.'  
'Last I heard, Cooper was in his office,' Ressler thought out loud. He and Aram exchanged cautious looks. 'He could have come down here before us.'  
'Do you think he did this on purpose?' Aram breathed, 'like some kind of signal?' Ressler stared back at the radios; the five on the ledge weren't just lined up but rather, placed with extreme deliberation... And with exact, equal spacing between them. They hadn't just been left laying around. And with only one vest missing, it seemed like only one other person had been there before them.   
'I'd say it's the most likely scenario,' he said. 'But why leave five? That's one for each of us, with one extra.' Aram furrowed his brow, hurriedly trying to figure it out... And then he met Ressler's gaze once more, eyes wide in instant understanding.  
'The radio channel,' Aram gasped. 'He's trying to tell us what channel he's using. He can't write it down, in case any of the suspects come over here first and intercept the note... But _they_ don't know how many of us there are. If they come in here and see nothing but six radios missing, they wouldn't think twice about it. _Six_ radios down from the cabinet... He's using Tac Six.'  
'That is...' Ressler let out a low whistle, 'not at all protocol.'  
'I think we've established that protocol isn't doing us any favours right now,' Aram muttered darkly. He picked up one of the radios, turning the dial to Tac Six. 'It's worth a shot, right?'  
'What if the one spare radio is supposed to indicate Tac One?' Ressler pointed out, but Aram was too busily focused on the radio in his hand.  
'We can try that next, if six doesn't work.' Aram raised the radio to his face, ready to speak; 'Director Cooper, come in. Over.' He released the button on the radio, awaiting the response. Aram and Ressler swapped anxious glances, waiting... The crackle of dead air over the channel continued for what felt like an eternity...

' _This is Cooper. Over_ ,' Cooper's voice finally broke through. Aram let out a deep breath of relief, and Ressler clapped him on the shoulder, staring wide eyed down at the floor and shaking his head in relieved disbelief of his own.  
'Aram and I are in the armoury,' Ressler quickly explained through the radio. 'No idea where Keen and Navabi are headed, but it doesn’t look like they've been here yet. No sight so far on any of our perps.'  
' _I'm on my way downstairs_ , _and I took one down in the stairwell already,_ ' Cooper's voice came back through the radio. Aram and Ressler instantly locked eyes in concern; if one of their suspects had already tried to head downstairs in the attempt to get out of the building, who knew how many of the others were doing the same? ' _Get down here, bring Liz and Samar with you if you find them._ '  
'Shouldn't we be drawing these guys away from the child care centre, rather than towards it?' Aram whispered back to Ressler. Ressler nodded, biting his lip, clearly not content at all with the order.  
'I would agree,' he muttered, 'but orders are orders, and you're not a field agent. We need to catch up with Cooper and that's where he is, so... That's where we go.' Ressler slipped his radio to his belt, and Aram did the same.  

Weapon drawn, and stopping only to peer cautiously around the door, Ressler stepped out of the armoury and back down the corridor, with Aram right on his heels.

/*/*/*/*

Samar and Liz crept slowly, step by step down the upper walkways that ran around the top border of the war room or rather, the 'catwalk' as it was more commonly referred to. It wasn't a path that offered the greatest amount of cover, but it was certainly better than trying to run the more direct path of the wide open war room –and at the very least, it had the advantage of height. They'd had to go upstairs from the interrogation rooms on one side of the war room and then across again, before they could descend once more to the main floor and head to the armoury on the opposite side. Samar peered through the wire fencing that ran along one side of the catwalk, staring down at the eerily quiet war room  below.

It was completely empty.

Samar furrowed her brow, wondering where everyone else was. Liz glanced curiously, just past her shoulder.   
'You think Ressler got to the armoury first?' She asked quietly.   
'Probably,' Samar murmured back. 'His interrogation room was closer, and he would want to follow protocol. What I want to know is where he went next... And where Aram is too.' She paused, panning her gaze across the room and shaking her head. 'Does it seem _too_ quiet to you? We had four suspects escape, and we haven't seen any of them.'  
'Maybe Ressler or Cooper got to them first?' Liz suggested.  

But Samar didn't respond. A movement not far behind Liz's shoulder caught her eye, and she paused... Creeping just ever so slightly sideways for a better view.

' _Duck_ ,' Liz's voice practically echoed in Samar's ears, the tone warning and sharp. Samar did so, ducking to the ground without a split second of hesitation just as the six foot two, stocky-built suspect from interrogation room four came hurtling towards her from around the bend. Liz lurched forwards, using all her weight to knock the overbalancing thug over in his charge. He stumbled back, not quite to the ground, but certainly wobbly at the knees, just as Samar turned and rose from her crouching position. The thug lunged forwards once more, swinging his fists at Liz. She ducked; one set of knuckles still managed to swipe across the lower side of her face, but she missed the other fist entirely and left it to swing the full round through the air in their momentum, before rising around his side and trying to tackle him down from there.  

Samar leapt in from the other side, swinging with her own fists and managing to collide one with the thug's temple just a split second before Liz pulled him down. Liz hit the ground with him though, rolling and getting caught around the thug's arm just long enough for him to move and try to pin her there... Her cheek throbbed with pain where his hand had struck her face, but she kept pushing back.  

Samar then pounced, tackling the guy from behind, wrapping one arm around his neck, placing the other firmly against the back of his head and pulling sharply backwards so that he flailed in that same direction -and most importantly, off of Liz. The thug instantly let go of Liz and put his hands up to his neck, trying to tug and free himself from Samar's grasp, but his sausage-like fingers were clumsy and so Samar held on. With one leg she kicked against the back of his knees, pushing him down slowly just as she too, carefully lowered herself to the ground with her other knee, and Liz scrambled across the ground to the side, out of their way. The thug's fighting grew weaker as he continued to lose air, until Samar pushed him forwards once more so that he slammed face first against the catwalk floor. Liz jumped in again, having finally pushed herself up off the ground again, jamming her own knee into the thug's lower back as Samar held his head firmly down.  
'Stop struggling,' Samar ordered the man, 'there are two of us and we both have you pinned now.' The thug took a sharp breath, but otherwise did as he was told; with both Samar and Liz holding him down with all of their combined weight, Samar had relinquished her arm's wrap around his neck. Liz tugged the set of handcuffs dangling from the back of her belt and quickly pulled back the man's arms to restrain him.  
'What do you want to do with him?' She asked quietly, 'we can't just leave him here, even if he is cuffed. He could still make a run for it...' Samar pulled a face, considering the very same dilemma.  
'We can't take him with us either, unless...' She glanced back at Liz as she trailed off, raising a curious eyebrow, 'the holding cells aren't far from the armoury. We can still get into them with just our swipe cards even during lockdown, right?'  
'I don't recall the holding cell protocols being changed at all,' Liz murmured, nodding slowly, 'so we could take him there on our way over there.' Almost as if indicating her agreement with the plan, Samar shuffled her weight slightly backwards, bracing herself to pull the thug back up to his feet –all the while keeping a firm grip on his now handcuffed wrists.  
'Ok,' Samar sighed, giving the man a small push, 'let's get moving, pal.' The man muttered bitterly under his breath but continued following Samar's instructions, apparently having finally recognised that his battle to escape was lost once and for all. He trudged along the catwalk, with Samar holding on tightly to his arm, and Liz right by her side in case he tried to pull away. The space was eerily quiet again, filled with nothing but the sounds of their footsteps against the catwalk's metal grating. Samar turned her head ever so slightly to shoot Liz a small, but appreciative smile; 'thanks for getting him before he got me,' she whispered.  
'And the same to you,' Liz murmured back, her lip twitching slightly, 'but let's keep moving.' Samar nodded, and gave the man another small nudge with her elbow to try and push him to pick up the pace. She too, knew the importance of continuing to keep moving.  

Every second they wasted, was a second longer before they managed to make their way downstairs.

/*/*/*/*

The red lights were still flashing, circling their beams around the war room, the corridors, and every other crack of space possible. The Post Office was practically a rabbit's warren –with its different sections scattered and linked with the corridors in a windy, almost maze-like fashion. Those who were regularly in the building knew their way around, despite those red flashes being the only real source of light in the building that was now otherwise engulfed in complete darkness, but as far as anyone could tell, none of their suspects had ever passed through the site before. It was a miracle they were managing to make their way around so quietly.

Aram and Ressler were on the ground floor at last, creeping past the training gym, and _right_ around the corner from the child care centre.  

Ressler motioned for Aram to step in behind him again as they approached the end of the corridor, carefully drawing his weapon and holding it at the ready before he took that one step around the corner.  

...The suspect from interrogation room three came barrelling around the corner in the opposite direction, charging directly at Ressler.  

Aram came to a screeching halt just in time for Ressler to do the same right in front of him. Flinging a knife around in the air that had clearly been taken from the break room, the man let out a loud, frustrated roar. Ressler raised his gun, finger wrapped carefully around the trigger. The man didn't stop. He continued to lunge forwards... And then Ressler fired. One shot, and then another... And the man crumpled to the ground just seconds shy of having landed that knife in Ressler's chest. Ressler paused, catching the breath he had held in without realising it for those few seconds. Satisfied that the body on the ground in front of him wasn't going to move any further, Ressler turned his head slightly to glance at Aram.   
'You ok?' He asked quietly. Aram hurriedly nodded his head, too stunned to actually vocalise a response to the question, but otherwise fine. 'That's the guy from three, Cooper said he got one of them too..' Ressler continued, 'at the very most we've only got two left on the loose.' Aram nodded again, acknowledging the observation, but mostly Ressler was thinking out loud to himself. 'Come on,' he spoke up again, gesturing to the door that was now so close, they could just see it at the end of that next corridor they had stepped into, 'we're nearly there.' Ressler began to move again, not quite at a jog, but certainly a fast walk. Aram was right on his heels, all the way down that path to the door.

It was a heavy, steel door –the kind that one would normally associate only with highly secure rooms. It wasn't at all necessary for a child care centre, even if it was located within a federal agency black site. Regardless, before the child care centre's opening, the door had been in place already, left over from the building's prior use but otherwise guarding nothing in particular, so nobody thought to question it. Aram fumbled for his ID swipe card still hanging from his belt, and swiped it through the scanner on the wall next to the door.

That solid, steel door rumbled open... And Aram and Ressler both suddenly paused, gaping, rather than striding straight inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, the second half; 'Innocence'.
> 
> I will be away again next weekend, so no post at the usual time. Instead (and because this is a cliffhanger anyway) I"ll aim to post the next one some time just before I leave on Friday. :)
> 
> Fun fact; during assignment procrastination last week, I spent ages trying to draw up a family tree as it will stand in this story by the end of chapter 61. Considering the premise and backstory going on here, it was trickier than you might think. Lines went everywhere until I could figure out how to do it neatly! If I can figure out a logical way to attach it to the chapter update for 61, I'll do so. (I also did up a second one to reflect what the family tree would look like right at the end of this story, but that's another thing, mwahaha!)


	58. Innocence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Thursday, May 25, 2017.
> 
> Ok, ok, so I could not contain myself until Friday after that cliffhanger. So here you go; the other half. But now you definitely have to wait until I get back from supervising a gazillion kidlets on camp before you get any more chapters! Also brace yourselves, because that was a pretty mild cliffhanger compared to the one that will come with the end of Chapter 61. *mischievous cackle*
> 
> Righto folks, enjoy!

Despite the building being in lockdown and the power being down, the child care centre remained in full working mode. The usual lighting was bright and fully functioning. If it wasn't for the fact that everything from the corridor and beyond was dark and flashing red, nobody would know from looking at the entrance to the child care centre that anything was wrong at all. The door quickly closed behind them as Ressler and Aram stepped through, looking around in utter confusion. It was only at one end that everything looked different. The wall that was usually adorned with a colourful mural featuring zoo animals, had opened up to reveal an array of computer screens that showed the cycling surveillance feeds for the entire building.   
' _What_ is going on down here,' Aram breathed, staring at the screens in disbelief from the doorway. Cooper, standing in the middle of the main room, gave a small smile.  
'Well,' he began, 'you could say that to keep the kids safe, this room doubles as a panic room.'  
'A panic room? As in, the kind of room where you lock yourself in when people break into your fancy house?' Ressler asked, equally disbelieving. Cooper simply nodded. Aram and Ressler swapped wary glances. 'Did you know about this?' Ressler whispered quietly over his shoulder to Aram, but the latter shook his head.  
'Nobody but myself, the two staff down here, and Reddington knew before now,' Cooper observed, 'but Reddington insisted that this be the case when it was all set up. This area of the building runs with its own emergency power generator and has its own separate phone line in case of lockdown situations like this.'  
'And the surveillance feeds too,' Aram muttered, pointing out the screens behind Cooper.  
'Not just those,' Cooper began. He took a few steps back towards the remaining section of the back wall that wasn't taken up by the monitors, and pushed aside another of the colourful mural panels to reveal a full security panel requesting a pin code and a fingerprint. Cooper quickly pressed one finger against the scanner, all the while using his free hand to type in the code. In a flash, the remainder of the wall opened up, revealing a miniature secure cabinet equipped with a smaller version of the armoury's contents.  
'There are _weapons_ down here?' Ressler exclaimed, 'right next to the _kids?'_ Needless to say, Aram looked just as horrified. Meanwhile, Ressler muttered something under his breath about Reddington and being completely unreasonable, that sounded decidedly unimpressed.  
'It's completely secure,' Cooper reassured them both. 'It can't be accessed without the code and fingerprint, for which the panel is well out of their reach... And it's only available from behind the wall if the building is in lockdown already.' Ressler muttered something unintelligible under his breath that sounded as if he was only _barely_ reassured by that. Aram, meanwhile, bit his lip and furrowed his brow in confusion. There were at least some half a dozen questions swirling around in his mind.  
'Where are the kids?' He asked suddenly, looking around once more. At least, given how late it was, every other agent in the building with children had already taken them from the centre and gone home before the lockdown had started. Only Sammy and Leila were left. Cooper gestured towards the doorway that led into the centre's secondary room –the one with all the cribs and the change table.  
'They're in there, and they're both safe,' he explained. 'We've tried to stay quiet so they were both napping for a while. They've only just woken up not too long ago, and now they're playing quietly.'  
'And Gina and Amy are both in there with them?' Aram continued to anxiously ask. Gina and Amy were the two smiling, older women who ran the centre. Cooper nodded once more, just as Aram pointed at the screens and opened his mouth to speak once more; 'were you watching us the whole time?' Ressler's head whipped around from staring at the screens, back to glancing at Aram and Cooper.  
'One of the guys came at us right down the corridor five minutes ago,' Ressler said, through gritted teeth. 'If you were watching the feeds, surely you could have told us over the radio that he was there.' Cooper bowed his head slightly, just as Amy emerged from the secondary room.  
'To be fair,' Amy said, keeping her voice calm and steady in the wake of the frustration on both Ressler and Aram's faces, 'it was about ten minutes ago that the kids accidentally butted heads and had meltdowns. It took us a few minutes to settle them, so we were a little distracted from watching the surveillance feeds.'  
'We did see Samar and Liz take down the guy from four just before that though,' Cooper pointed out, and Aram immediately scooted over closer to all the screens to take a peek for himself. 'And the suspect I took down was the one from room two.'  
'The one that came at us was from interrogation room three,' Ressler thought out loud, 'so that means we've only got one left. Have Samar and Liz made contact yet?' Cooper shook his head, but it was Aram who spoke next.  
'They're only just walking into the armoury now,' he murmured, 'and it looks like they dragged their guy into lockup on the way over.' Without a word, Ressler and Cooper took the last couple of steps over to stand either side of him and watch the surveillance for themselves. On the screens, Liz and Samar seemed to be gazing around the armoury. For a brief moment, they both headed straight towards the vests and weapons, pointing and nodding at the spaces in the cabinets where Cooper, Ressler and Aram had already taken their own gear.  

It was only when Samar turned her head to disentangle her pony tail from the vest she had just slipped over her head, that she froze... Spotting the remaining three radios left on the ledge just in front of their cabinet. She tapped Liz cautiously on the side of the arm, pointing out the radios, and seemingly without speaking. Liz glanced around curiously, craning her neck to see if anyone else was around, before hurrying forwards to pick one radio up and turn it over in her hands.  
'You think they'll figure it out?' Ressler murmured.  
'We did,' Aram said, shrugging. 'They should too, without too much difficulty, but-' Aram glanced at the radio clipped to his belt '-why _make_ them figure it out?' Ressler nodded his agreement, unclipping his own radio from his belt and raising it slowly to his face.  
'Liz, do you hear us?' He said quickly, still staring directly at the screen. Liz just about dropped the radio from her hand like a hot potato as Ressler's question unexpectedly boomed from it. Samar hurriedly picked up another of the radios from the ledge.  
' _Yeah, we hear you,_ ' came Liz's shaky voice. ' _What's the plan?_ ' Before anyone else could speak, Ressler gave them as quick and as thorough a rundown of the situation as he could; that the rest of them were all downstairs, that the kids were safe and that there was only one more suspect left on the loose... Though without mentioning the child care centre's status as a panic room. There was no point going through all those questions all over again but rather, they could wait for a less urgent moment.

Both Liz and Samar gave visible breaths of relief on the screen.  

From there, it was agreed that Aram –not being the field agent- would stay downstairs, watch the surveillance, and guide them all via radio, while the others set about searching for that last suspect and wherever he was hiding. Ressler clipped his radio back to his belt, Cooper pulled his weapon from the cabinet and set it back in his holster and then, almost as if having been awaiting her turn, Amy too, reached for a weapon from the cabinet.  
'Wait, hold on,' Aram started, eyeing her warily, 'you can't go with them.'  
'Sure I can,' she chirped in response, 'the more agents we have out there, the better... And Gina can stay down here with you and the kids.'  
'I'm sorry,' Ressler said incredulously, 'the more _agents_?' Amy gave a wry smile, pushing her greying hair back off her face and tying it up, ready to move with the rest of them.  
'Actually yes, Agent Ressler.' Cooper's small smile was just as intriguing as Amy's, 'meet Former FBI Special Agent Amy Norbert.'  
'You didn't think they'd just let anyone down here to look after the little ones at a black site, did you?' Amy asked, grinning. 'At some point, you'll be too old for field work too, but you'll be bored stiff if you retire too early.' Aram and Ressler exchanged amazed looks, both shaking their heads in disbelief. Just like the separate power generators, the small weapons cache, and the surveillance feeds that they hadn't known about before, neither of them knew that the two friendly and completely gentle seeming women who all the kids at the centre absolutely adored, were in fact field agents in semi-retirement.  
'Amy was a year below me at Quantico,' Cooper added, shooting her a knowing smile, 'but she wasn't quite so enthusiastic about taking the path to an office like I was.'   
'Paperwork is no fun, Harold,' Amy chuckled, rolling her eyes. She glanced back at Aram and Ressler, nodding earnestly. 'Gina's a former agent too; we're here because we still hold the clearance level to enter this site, and because we both still need something to keep us on our toes now that we're not in the field. Running around after the little ones here is great for that. Just think of us as an added layer of protection for them while they're here.'

Finally, Ressler's lip twitched with a hint of amusement. That was at least, one revelation about the child care centre that was a relief, rather than a cause for concern.

He glanced just for a brief moment back to Aram –who was pausing long enough in his observations of Samar and Liz on the screens to listen in- before gesturing towards the heavy, steel door.  
'Ok then,' Ressler chuckled, 'by all means, lead the way if you like.'

/*/*/*/*

Cooper, Ressler, and Amy left the centre the same time that Samar and Liz left the armoury, each with radios attached to the hip. Aram kept a close eye on the flickering monitors in front of him, desperately searching through the feeds of each and every security camera in the building for any sign of the suspect from interrogation room one. For the moment, Aram couldn't see him anywhere, so the plan in the meantime was for the others to head in the same general direction. Every so often, Gina poked her head around the door to the nursery room to see how things were going, and reassure Aram that Sammy and Leila were still quite contentedly playing together.  

There were far too many cameras for one person to keep track of at once, but that didn't stop Aram from trying. His gaze flickered every second from one camera to the next, and to the next again, giving short nods of acknowledgement to Gina's updates, but otherwise concentrating his attention firmly on the task at hand.  

Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted Cooper, Ressler, Liz, Samar, and Amy all coming together on one of the farmost monitors. They were gathered still on the bottom floor but towards the middle of it, on the opposite side of the training gym to the child care centre.  
' _Aram, any sign of our guy?'_ Liz's voice filtered through the radio.  
'Not yet,' Aram replied, 'but there are more cameras than there are monitors. Give me another minute or two, and maybe he'll pop up.'  

The screens all switched cameras again. The sight of his coworkers vanished in favour of the view of the war room from a camera up along the catwalk. Aram panned his gaze across the new selection of surveillance feeds, cursing internally as one by one they seemed to be without movement…

…Until the last one.

Right in the corner, in the view of a camera that gazed down upon one of the eastern stairwells, Aram spotted the tail end of someone scurrying down the stairs.  
'Found him,' Aram said hurriedly. 'Eastern stairwell two, he seems to be heading down.'   
' _We're on our way,_ ' came Ressler's voice. Aram picked up the pace, pulling his laptop out of his messenger bag, setting it down onto the table he had dragged across in front of the monitors earlier, and desperately trying to set up all the necessary cables before the camera feeds switched again. He could take manual control of the feeds from his laptop, viewing only the cameras he wanted instead of leaving them to flicker, switch, and cycle through in their current, automated system. There was no point in doing that before, when Aram didn't know where anyone was… But now he did. Now, Aram could take control with his laptop, and track everyone's movements.  

The image of his coworkers popped up on one of the monitors again. With a few clicks and taps at his keyboard, Aram set that camera to stay on the monitor permanently, until he changed it himself. Next he manually flicked through the views of every camera in or around the eastern stairwells, trying to catch up with their suspect again. It was still a rush to flick through them all, but nowhere near as bad as flicking through every camera in the building. At least now, it was narrowed down to one side.   
'Come on…' Aram growled under his breath to nobody in particular, 'where are you…' The suspect had walked out of the frame of the first camera Aram had spotted him on, and in the rush to set up the laptop, Aram had missed seeing in what direction the thug had headed next. Out of the corner of his eye, Aram spotted the team hurrying out of frame on their own camera, and he quickly tapped the key to switch it to the view of the next, where they were just walking into frame.  

That was easy enough… Now if he could just find their suspect again to track _him_ as well.

Aram stared in frustration at the monitors again.  
'Aha,' he whooped, 'got you.' Right in the corner of one of the cameras, Aram could see the guy crossing the border zone between views. With a few more keyboard taps, he brought up the view from the next camera along. The suspect was running along one of the ground floor corridors now. He was moving fast, but now Aram knew where he was… And now, he could keep track.

/*/*/*/*

' _He's on the ground floor, heading towards the gym,_ ' Aram's voice cracked through the radio. ' _You're not far from him_.'  
'There are three points along that corridor where it intersects with another one or a room,' Ressler whispered. 'We could split up, take all three, and cut him off.'   
'There are only five of us,' Samar murmured, 'that would mean one of us has to go alone.'  
'But if we only split into two groups, that leaves one point uncovered,' Ressler hissed back.  
'Neither plan is ideal,' Liz's voice was calm and steady, trying to ease the tension of all their combined stress, 'but we have to go with one of them.' She turned her gaze back to Cooper, waiting for him to make the decision.  
' _Guys, he's still moving,_ ' Aram urged them. Cooper glanced back and forth between his fellow agents, lips pursed as he considered the options.  
'Two groups, not three,' he decided. 'One at either end and then if he tries to make a run for the third, we can try to sandwich him in the middle.'

Ressler darted off in the direction of one end, Cooper and Amy quick on his heels. Samar and Liz followed suit, running in the opposite direction for the other end of the corridor.

Back in the child care centre, Aram tracked both groups on the cameras, as well as their suspect.

With that, he now had _three_ paths to track. His fingers flew across the keyboard, switching cameras for each as people moved out of frame and into the next.  

But then, Aram did a double take. He took a closer look at exactly where along the corridor the thug was, and immediately fumbled for his radio in a frenzy to get the word out.

' _Uh, guys..._ ' He began, ' _our guy is moving too fast down the corridor. You'll corner him at the end of it easily because he'll have already passed the last intersect before you catch him, but..._ ' Aram trailed off, seeing on the monitors that he didn't need to finish that sentence. Liz and Samar froze for a moment, before quickening in pace to a sprint. Ressler, Cooper and Amy exchanged terrified glances before taking off at a sprint as well.

At the rate he was going, their suspect was going to have passed the gym and end up _right_ outside the child care centre just before the team caught up to him.  

The few minutes it took felt like they passed in a flash.  

' _Freeze_ ,' Samar and Liz both yelled as they burst around the corner, weapons drawn, into the end of the corridor closest to the suspect. The man from interrogation room one stopped in his tracks, turning quickly to face them as they yelled. He raised his hands just above his head so that they lined up with his ears, right as Cooper, Ressler and Amy rounded their own corner further down the corridor beside Liz and Samar, and sprinted along to join them.  

But Aram could see what was about to happen well before his coworkers did. There was a reason the man had turned so fast... Leaving no time for anyone but Aram to see it.  

Just as Ressler took one step further forward, reaching for his handcuffs, the thug's hand whipped down behind his back, drawing a weapon of his own and pointing it right back at them.

'Put it down, pal,' Ressler warned him, 'there are five of us and only one of you. Try it, and you'll only manage to get off one shot before the rest of us take you down.' The man didn't respond, other than cracking a sly smile.  
'Aren't any of you wondering,' he taunted slowly, 'how I got out of that interrogation room... Or how I got this gun?' The very same questions ran through the minds of each of the five standing opposite him... But not one of them hesitated or swapped wary glances. The one second it would take them to do so and allow their concentration to falter, would give him the spare second to fire.  

The man chuckled to himself.

'Well,' he mused, 'let's just say you have a _slight_ security problem... I have far more contacts around than you might think, and they _all_ owe me favours.'

The deathly silence that followed, practically echoed in everyone's ears as they processed that.

'You're not going to get out of this,' Cooper growled. 'Put the gun down.'  
'Hmm...' The thug hummed all too cheerfully for anyone's liking. 'How about _no?'_

Aram watched it all happening on the screen in front of him, his stomach churning.  

There was only one thing he could do... And the gun from Samar's desk drawer was still tucked into his belt.  

It took everything Samar had, to keep a neutral face as the door to the child care centre opened as quietly as possible behind the laughing thug... And Aram stepped out behind him. Fiercely gritting his teeth in a determined attempt to bring an end to his terrified trembling, Aram slowly lifted the weapon from his belt, and pointed it at the back of the thug's head.  
'Put... It down,' he breathed. The thug shifted his gaze ever so slightly to glance back over his shoulder... Just long enough for Samar to use the moment to try and catch Aram's eye. As discreetly as she could, she was shaking her head; _no, don't do it_. Surely, there had to be another option.

By now, this had happened to Aram far too many times... _None_ of them wanted to see him have to raise a gun to anyone ever again.  

'You got a hearing problem, pal?' Aram tried to taunt him, but the shaking in his voice was all too clear. His whole body shook with fear and frustration. 'I said, put it _down_.'

The thug let out a laugh, and then as quickly as any of them could blink, he turned, pointing his gun straight at Aram's face...  
' _Aram, get down_ ,' Liz yelled. She could see out of the corner of her eye exactly what was going to happen next. The second Aram ducked, Samar fired... The bullet striking the man square in the chest.

Aram rolled along the ground out of the way, just as the man's body crumpled to the ground where Aram had been just moments earlier.  

One by one, each agent on the team lowered their weapons... Samar was the slowest, breathing heavily for a moment and trying to calm herself. She caught Aram's eye once more, swapping that fearful gaze with him where he now half sat up on the floor... Both of them bore the same expression; that conflict between ' _I'm sorry_ ,' and ' _you shouldn't have done that_.' With a small sigh, Samar set her weapon back in her holster, before practically _lunging_ forwards to him. She gently pried the other weapon from his fingers, tucking it into the back of her belt, and resting a reassuring hand along his arm to try and help him stop shaking.  

Cooper darted back into the child care centre for the phone to have the power restored to the building...  

'You ok?' Samar asked softly, crouching down beside him. Aram shrugged, still processing it all.  
'I'll get back to you on that,' he tried to laugh, but the shakiness in his voice was still all too hard to miss. Aram intertwined his fingers through hers, ignoring everything else happening them, and squeezed her hand. 'Did you know that Amy and Gina are former field agents?' Samar pressed a light kiss to his cheek, holding back a soft chuckle.  
'You know...' She murmured back, 'I kind of figured that out when I saw Amy running around with us and a gun in her hand.'

/*/*/*/*

The power was finally restored to the building, and the phone lines too. The suspect that Liz and Samar had left in locked up in the holding cells was quickly transferred to a larger holding facility downtown, while the bodies of the other three were taken away to the medical examiner's office. It was nearly midnight by the time the Internal Affairs officials had finished up their initial questioning of everyone and casting of eyes over the various standoff points around the Post Office. Needless to say, Cooper had a headache just _thinking_ about all the paperwork that was going to come out of the evening's events.  

Meanwhile, Aram had finally stopped shaking, but he was still in shock.

Eventually everyone was allowed to go home. Samar sent Aram and his anxiously wandering mind straight to bed in the hope that some sleep would help and that he would feel at least somewhat better in the morning. She then quickly went about the usual routine of putting Leila to bed too, before finally heading towards bed herself. Samar paused in the doorway to the master bedroom, her face crumpling sympathetically at the sight of Aram laying there, still awake, but staring aimlessly through the window.  
'Hey,' she murmured softly to him. Aram didn't even look back as he replied.  
'Hey...' It took mere seconds for Samar to pull off her office clothes and toss them on the floor, reaching for the usual sleep shorts and tank top folded up at the end of the bed. Finally tugging the hair tie from her pony tail and allowing her hair to tumble down around her shoulders, she collapsed onto the bed beside him.  
'Are you sure you're ok?' She asked again, her voice doubtful and barely more than a whisper. Samar shuffled a little further across, so that not only was she laying on her side and facing him, but only inches from him as well.   
'I held a gun to another person today...' Aram sighed biting his lip. 'Again.' Samar reached out with one hand, her fingers gently tousling his hair and then stroking his cheek. Still, his eyes didn't quite meet hers.  
'I know.'  
'I hate just the _idea_ of doing that...' He mumbled. 'And yet... That guy was pointing his weapon at you, at Liz... At all of you. If I'd really had to, I probably would have taken that shot.' Aram shook his head in frustration, clearly upset. 'I did it once before, but I don't think it's something I'll ever get used to,' he added, after a brief pause. Samar didn't respond, instead choosing to avert her eyes and let him get everything off his chest that he needed to... But Aram finally refocused his gaze, staring back at her. 'No, I know. Don't say it. I work for the FBI, I have to get used to it,' he growled under his breath.  
'I wasn't going to say that,' Samar said quickly. 'The first time I ever held a gun to anyone, I felt the same. It didn't matter how bad the person was, he was still a person. I felt awful.' Aram's face instantly softened.   
'What happened?' Samar gave another small sigh, curling up closer against his side as a comfort not just to him, but herself as well.   
'It was a week, maybe two, after my parents died,' she began, 'Shahin and I went to the local market to buy food, we were still figuring out how to take care of ourselves without them... A man, who I didn't know at the time, but he was known in the area for armed robberies... He thought that if we were children running around the market with money in our hands, we must have had rich parents wandering around somewhere, so he grabbed Shahin. The stall right next to me had a gun on the side of the table. I didn't know anything about them, not that there was a safety catch, or anything. I thought it was just a case of point and pull the trigger. I grabbed it and pointed it at him, saying that if he didn't let Shahin go, I would shoot him. It worked, he let Shahin go, and I didn't need to know how to use the gun... But that didn't stop me from shaking the entire time.'  
'You didn't even hesitate today, even though you didn't have a shot,' Aram observed quietly. 'He was moving too fast, your shot could have missed or ricocheted against the steel door.'

Samar paused, her gaze now wandering as aimlessly and bitterly as Aram's had earlier.  

'After a while...' She eventually spoke again, before trailing off, 'as a field agent, you're forced to rationalise it; they might be people, but they're bad people, who are wanting to hurt other, innocent people. If someone has to be hurt, whether it be those innocent people, or the bad person when you shoot them, it's less awful if it's the latter. And then... You just stop worrying about it. You get used to doing what you _have_ to do. It becomes normal.'  
'What if I don't want it to become normal for me?' Aram's voice cracked slightly, filled with fear of that very idea. Samar's eyes instantly snapped to his, gritting her teeth in determination for him.   
'Then don't let it.' There was a certain fierceness about her words that took Aram by surprise; not in the sense of her growing exasperated by him but rather, with a sharp and protective desperation for him not to be affected by that bitter reality in ways that she already was.   
'It's normal for you,' he countered softly.  
'That doesn't mean you have to be the same. You're not a field agent.' Samar shook her head in frustration against the pillow. 'The fact that you can see the cases we work every day, and you still have that faith in people... That doesn't make you weak. It's admirable. You should hold onto that faith... I wish I could have.'

There was an air of shared regret and misery that filled the tiny space between them.  

'Some people would just say I'm naïve,' Aram mumbled.   
'It's naïve if you're in denial and you refuse to acknowledge the reality, and then put others in danger as a result...' Samar pointed out. 'But you don't. You said it yourself, you'd take the shot if you have to, and you've even done that before. You just don't _like_ doing it.'  
'You shouldn't have taken that shot today, it was too much of a risk.'  
'It was... But the alternative was forcing you to do it. You feel bad enough having just _held_ the gun to him. I couldn't force you to take that shot when I had a chance.' They locked eyes for a moment; a battle of sympathetic wills where all either of them wanted to do was simply to protect the other.   
'A _tiny_ chance,' Aram grumbled, albeit only gently.   
'Still a chance,' Samar grumbled back, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. 'And to me, the consequences of not taking that chance were just as great a risk.'  
'Because you didn't want him to shoot me, or because you wanted to stop him so I didn't have to shoot him?'  
'Either... Or _both_ , really.' Samar gave a small smile, tousling his hair again. Aram closed his eyes, breathing in deeply, before Samar finally leaned her head against his shoulder. 'We could discuss this all night,' she yawned. 'But I think we've got enough of that in store for us tomorrow when the Internal Affairs people come back again...' Aram yawned too, the stresses of the day finally taking their exhaustive toll on both of them. As if signalling his agreement, he shifted ever so slightly, resting his arm gently around her, and Samar too, closed her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's to hoping that lived up to expectations... And that I also return next week with my sanity still somewhat in tact, but who knows? 
> 
> Next up; the much promised 'Milestones -Part 2'.
> 
> Oh, and while I remember it... I was asked on tumblr yesterday to give a little hint of what's yet to come, and it seems only fair to share my answer over here for those of you who don't follow me over there. I wouldn't normally give away spoilers, but since I do love story-related asks on tumblr and I don't get many of them, I figured I could say a little something...
> 
> Basically, we are about halfway through the story, timeline wise. If all goes well and and I can get this as far as I'd like (knocks on wood), the story would end around December 2018 in the timeline (that date being particular, due to various arcs I have planned that have to fit around each other and last a certain amount of time). I"m currently writing July 2017, we started at February 2016, so we're about halfway through the timeline. However, I'm hoping the last year won't be quite as long, because let's face it.... This is crazy long already. I'm currently writing an average rate of about three chapters per timeline month, plus arcs. For 2018 I may just take it down to two. We shall see. But there you go, now you know a little about where we're heading. The other thing I said was... Keep an eye on the family tree. It's going to be a fair bit wider by the time we get to that end point. But the question for you to ponder is... Which branches will be extending, hmmm? :D
> 
> If anyone else has any fun story questions, feel free to send them over :D


	59. Milestones - Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Tuesday, June 6, 2017.
> 
> So, I am now back from camp. My sanity is indeed still in tact, barely. I did, however, come back with a nasty little bug that one charming munchkin decided to bring along with them and promptly spread around to everyone. I'm going to say that's the karmic balance of the universe taking pre-emptive justice for cliffhangers yet to come... :P
> 
> Anyway, here's a chapter for you all now that I'm back, and after this one we should be back on track to the usual, weekend posts. This one is a little fluffier than the last, I figured that was necessary after the last couple. Enjoy! :)

The days of fallout since the Post Office breach and lockdown became a week, and then finally numbered in the double digits. Twelve days on –nearly two weeks- and the team was still buried under mountains of paperwork, questions from the Internal Affairs investigators, and the weight of knowing that the site's breach protocols needed to be rewritten _all_ over again.

...And those new procedure briefings were never fun.

The case load was temporarily halted. No matter how many cases Reddington kept trying to bring them -despite staying as far away from the site as possible, given the possible leak- nor how much the team wanted to take them to get away from one Internal Affairs investigator in particular who just would _not_ leave them alone, there wasn't much a choice in the issue. They were not allowed to handle any new cases until that particular one was closed.

However, the time spent sitting at their desks and bored out of their minds wasn't entirely terrible. Earlier that morning, Reddington had made the effort to actually march himself into the building and speak to Liz privately in her office, before vanishing as quickly and quietly as he had disappeared. Liz however, re-emerged into the war room with a smile that she could barely contain.  

It was official. Somehow, Reddington had managed to achieve the near impossible. Liz's conviction was going to be expunged in July.

She was cautious; with another month still to go before she had the paperwork in hand, there was still a chance that things could change... But at this point, so close to that ending that had been such a long time coming, that chance was minimal. Whether the timing of the sudden announcement was Reddington trying to reduce any lingering tensions over Tom or not, Liz didn't care. As soon as she had that piece of paper, she could officially be reinstated as an agent, and stop being a mere consultant... And she could officially begin the process of trying to adopt a second child.  

Needless to say, no matter how awful it was to be in the Post Office at the moment, Liz was over the moon and she spent the day with the smile unable to be wiped from her face... She insisted on an impromptu, celebratory movie and pizza night, and with it being another of her rare happy moments over the last few weeks, Samar and Aram were more than happy to indulge her.

Leila and Sammy were on Liz's living room floor with Hudson again, while the adults waited for their pizzas to arrive. Samar in particular was still amazed at just how gentle the golden-furred pup was with the two little ones when he was allowed to play with them. Not once did he ever growl or try to nip at them, no matter how much they probably tugged on his shaggy fur a little too hard on some occasions. For the moment, Sammy was crawling around, with Hudson trotting along happily behind her, and all the while Leila continued to push herself up onto all fours and giggle as they went past her.  

Liz's phone began to ring, jolting her from the absent minded staring at the hallway to the front door that always came with the impatient wait for pizza.  

'Putting the call out to adoption agencies already?' Samar teased.  
'I wish,' Liz chuckled, grinning back as she tugged the phone from her jeans pocket. One more month, and then her record would be expunged... _Finally_. And then Liz would be free to start putting in applications anywhere she liked. Liz glanced at the name flashing on the caller ID; 'it's Cooper,' she read off the screen. 'Probably something to do with my reinstatement paperwork, hang on a second.' Liz darted quickly out of the room to take the call, leaving Aram and Samar still standing there.

Sammy shuffled along the floorboards, eagerly chasing the toy Hudson had bumped away from Leila and sent rolling across the floor. Still sitting where they had just been playing together, Leila gave a disgruntled pout as her playmates moved away from her. Looking curiously around the small space, she reached up with one tiny hand, curling her fingers around the edge of the couch that was _just_ within reach. Leila's hand grasped tightly around the couch cushion, before reaching with the other hand to do the same again. With a short grumble under her breath, she pulled. She pulled on the edge of the couch, and she pushed with her feet... Until Leila was standing, leaning slightly against the side of the couch, holding on precariously to the edges of the couch cushions to keep herself up. She bounced on her feet a little, turning her head to continue watching Sammy, Hudson and the toys that were now well out of her reach.    
'She's getting frustrated,' Samar observed quietly, watching the situation unfold before her. Aram raised a wary eyebrow, studying the disgruntled expression on Leila's face.  
'You think?'  
'Sammy's crawling, and Leila's not. They can't play together as easily,' Samar sighed. 'She's fine when they're next to her, but then she can't follow them when they move.'  
'She'll get there,' Aram said softly. 'Look at her, she's pulling herself up to standing already like she wants to walk. Sammy doesn't do that anywhere near as much.' Samar didn't answer straight away, instead continuing to watch Leila bouncing on the balls of her feet as Sammy and Hudson scurried past her in the opposite direction. Aram shifted his gaze, the look on his face softening as he took in Samar's unhappily furrowed brow. 'What's bothering you?' He prompted. With a slow sigh, Samar pulled her attention away from Leila just long enough to shoot Aram a knowing, weary look. It wasn't hard for Aram to guess where her mind was wandering; it was a conversation they'd already had earlier in the week;

_'They've met so many of their milestones close together, like they're encouraging each other,' Samar had pointed out. 'Every time Sammy has ticked off a new one, Leila's done the same within the space of about a month.'_   
_'They're a month apart,' Aram said, nodding his agreement._   
_'Leila's slower to crawl than Sammy though,' Samar lamented. Aram furrowed his brow in confusion._   
_'Sammy started crawling about a month ago, at nine months. Leila's nine months now.'_   
_'Sammy was rocking back and forth for a while before that, Leila hasn't been.'_   
_'Well...' Aram had started, gazing at Leila on all fours on her beloved rose blanket laid out across their own living room floor. She was leaning forwards rather than pushing herself entirely upwards; 'she pushes herself onto all fours and then leans forward for a while, before moving back again, and then leans forward again a few minutes later. We could argue that she is rocking, but just in slow motion.'_

_Needless to say, Samar had shot him a particularly exasperated look._

_'Don't stress,' Aram added, and more gently that time, 'it's supposed to be normal for them to learn at different paces, she could suddenly start crawling tomorrow for all we know.'_   
_'I know, I'm not trying to compare them, not competitively anyway,' Samar sighed. 'It's just that... So far, watching them together has been a good marker to know that they're both progressing normally. It seems odd that of all the milestones for them to veer away from each other, it would be something as significant as this.'_   
_'I could argue that the more significant things are more likely to vary a little, because there's more that they have to learn,' Aram pointed out. Samar bit her lip; she had to concede that there was certainly some element of truth to that, but she was still nervous. It went all the way back to her fears before Leila was born, that something would go wrong._   
_'She's supposed to crawl between six and ten months, it's getting to the end of that window.'_   
_'I read that it was between seven and eleven months,' Aram countered, shrugging his shoulders. 'One website I read said she should walk three to six months after she starts crawling, but another one said it'd be when she's between nine and twelve months old. They all say something different.'_   
_'I guess...'_

'Don't worry about that,' Aram murmured gently in her ear, wrapping one arm loosely around Samar's back to reassure her. 'And who knows,' he continued, gesturing at Leila tumbling back to the floor only to reach out to pull herself straight back up again. 'Maybe she'll be an overachiever and just go straight to walking without crawling first.' Samar's lip twitched ever so slightly at the idea, but didn't respond. 'Though, if it's any consolation...' Aram spoke again with a hint of amusement, catching the lip twitch and counting it as a victory. 'Sammy does also have Hudson to guide her along, so she's at a slight advantage over Leila when it comes to crawling.' Samar's lip twitched again, and Aram had to reign in the smile. 'I mean, if you're really _that_ worried, I'm sure we can _borrow_ Hudson for a little while.'  

Finally, Samar raised a wry eyebrow, and it was near impossible for Aram to keep a straight face.

'I don't think baby buddy privileges extend to dog-napping,' she murmured drolly, before letting out a reluctant, defeated sigh; 'I'm sure Leila will be just fine without Hudson.'  
' _There_ we go,' Aram mused, planting a quick kiss to the side of her cheek. It was all too easy when Samar was tired or otherwise occupied by concerns, to banter with her until she reached the point of absent mindedly arguing the reverse of what she had five minutes earlier. Samar screwed up her face, both reassured and distinctly unimpressed as she realised exactly what it was Aram had been doing all along.  
'You did that just to make me feel better, didn't you?' She grumbled –though only half-heartedly. Aram glanced back at her, an all too innocent expression plastered across his face.  
'Did what?'

Liz hurried back into the room and back to Samar's side before she could respond.

'What did I miss?' She quipped.  
'Keep an eye on Hudson, Aram's planning to steal him,' Samar deadpanned. Liz turned her head slowly to glance suspiciously in Aram's direction.  
'Hey, I was _kidding_ ,' he retorted, with a hint of indignation. Regardless, Liz returned her gaze to Hudson across the room where he was now trying to nudge Leila along... And then, she gaped surprise, staring delightedly at the scene in front of her. She nudged Samar in the side of the arm, just as Samar was about to start bickering with Aram once more –both of their attentions torn just for a split second away from the kids.  
'Guys,' she whispered, trying to catch their attention, but to no avail. With a touch of urgency, Liz nudged Samar's arm again –harder this time. ' _Guys._ '  
'Ow,' Samar objected, but nonetheless turned to see what Liz was pointing at. The annoyance on Samar's face vanished in an instant... One hand slowly raised from where it hung by her side to clasp over her mouth as she gasped in surprise.  
'Is she-' Aram trailed off, leaving the question hanging in the air.  
'-Yep,' Samar breathed in response.  
'-Really?'  
'-Uh huh...'  
'- _Finally?'  
_ ' _-Sshhh_ , Aram. Just _watch_.'

/*/*/*/*

The knock on his office door the next morning caused Ressler to look up from his desk all too hurriedly. Samar stood in the doorway, having just arrived and marched straight out of the elevator towards the office. Leila babbled quite happily in her arms, smiling widely at the sight of another familiar face.  
'Hey, getting an early start on the paperwork?' Samar asked. There was something about her eyes that twinkled, and a small smile tugging all too eagerly at her lips, that Ressler couldn't quite place.  
'I was trying to,' he sighed, smiling back wearily, 'but distractions are _more_ than welcome.' Ressler outstretched his arms eagerly, waiting to take Leila from her for a quick cuddle before she went downstairs, but Samar had other ideas.    
'Hang on, you have to see this,' she said quickly. Ressler lowered his arms again, curiously watching on as Samar crouched down on the floor a few feet away from the edge of his desk.  
'See what?' He asked.  
'This,' Samar replied, quite simply. She set Leila down on the floor beside her, tousling those soft, mahogany, baby curls. 'Go on, Leila,' she whispered in the little girl's ear. There was a brief moment of hesitation, until Leila caught Ressler's eye and she broke into a mischievous giggle.  

And then all of a sudden, she charged forwards.  

Hand, then knee, and over again and over again, Leila crawled straight along the office floor towards him.

Samar sat back, watching on and completely unable to wipe the relieved grin from her face. Ressler slid straight down out of his office chair, absolutely stunned, but still ready to catch her. As soon as Leila reached him, Ressler picked her up and swung her gently into the air, making her squeal in delight before he brought her down and again and held her close to his chest.  
'Champion sprout,' he murmured softly to her, kissing the top of her head. He closed his eyes for a moment, just taking it all in. 'Uncle Donnie's so proud of you.' Finally, he set Leila carefully back on the floor again, turning her so that she faced Samar. It took barely a second for Leila to take off, with both Samar and Ressler watching on quite happily as she crawled between them. 'Look at her go...' Ressler spoke softly again; both of them were as completely in awe as they had been when Sammy started to crawl too, if not more so. 'You know, I don't regret any of this for a single second any more...' He said thoughtfully, finally lifting his gaze to meet Samar's. 'Do you?' Samar shook her head as Leila's crawling came to a stop just beside her. Leila paused just long enough to stare curiously up at her mother for a moment, before grabbing onto Samar's arm and pulling herself up to standing again.  
'Not at all,' Samar murmured back. She was watching Leila again, rather than looking at Ressler as she spoke, but that didn't bother him at all. He was too preoccupied with observing them both, another smile tugging at his lips at the sight of the usually steely fierce Samar engrossed in one of the few softer moments she permitted him to see. Though Leila was generally excitable with any familiar face, it was impossible to miss just how much her baby cheeks lit up with a wide smile when she was with Samar in particular.  

And then, as Leila continued to try and clamber her way around Samar, latching onto her arm, her shirt, or whatever else those tiny fingers could wrap themselves around for support... One fist closed its grasp tightly around Samar's pony tail.

' _Ow_ , Leila,' Samar gasped, wincing at the sudden tug. 'No, not my hair.' Ressler forced himself to hold back a laugh that was just daring to escape.  
'Hang on, she's got her fingers caught,' he said, unable to at least hold back a smirk. He shuffled across the few feet between them, 'here, let me.' One arm wrapped around the squirming little girl to hold her up, Ressler reached forwards with his free hand to gently curl Leila's tangled fingers out of Samar's pony tail. 'Leave your mom's hair alone, cheeky munchkin,' he chuckled to her, once they were disentangled. Leila simply kept giggling, and Samar rolled her eyes in amusement. She glanced back to Ressler again, both of them sharing content, amused smiles.   
'Thanks,' she mused, and Ressler let out his laugh at last.   
'Any time.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, 'Fatherhood'. :)


	60. Fatherhood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Sunday, June 18, 2017.
> 
> Very little writing happened this week, so thank goodness for writing a few chapters ahead! (*Infomercial voice* "here, have this chapter I prepared earlier...") And now, we are back to my usual Sunday morning posts, hooray! :)
> 
> Links to images/websites showing the two presents in this chapter are in the note at the end, if you'd like a visual reference. I'm trying to learn how to do click-able html code links in these notes rather than throwing the whole thing in there, so bear with me. If I can get them right, it'll make adding visual references for you guys a lot easier.

'Wakey wakey, rise and shine,' Samar's teasing, sing-song voice came streaming through the air from the hallway into the bedroom. Aram, still in bed, rolled over and opened his bleary eyes just in time to spot her striding through the doorway and straight towards him, a giggling Leila held out airplane-style in front of her and being glided through the air.  
'What-' Aram tried to ask, only to be cut off by the giggling, wriggling airplane landing on the runway that was his bare chest. Samar sat on the edge of the beside them both, not even _trying_ not to smirk.  

She looked _far_ too mischievous for Aram's taste.

Samar leaned in to peck a quick kiss to Aram's cheek.  
'Happy Father's Day,' she chuckled, sitting up again.   
'Oh, is _that_ what this is?' Aram quipped back. His lip quirked up in amusement, as he eyed Leila now sitting up on his belly, the beloved Mr Spikes clutched tightly to one side. Along with the blue denim baby jeans with the bright purple patches to cushion little crawling knees, Leila also had on an equally bright purple t-shirt that Aram had never seen before... And as Leila sat up and shifted around, Aram could see the silver font printed across the front that read ' _if you think I'm cute, you should see my Dad._ '   
'You know, I distinctly remember waking you up just like this on your birthday _last_ year,' he chirped, glancing back at Samar with a raised, teasing eyebrow. Samar simply shrugged, trying to maintain all too innocent an expression. Ignoring them both, Leila rolled forwards onto all fours again, leaving Mr Spikes to fall to Aram's side as she crawled along his chest towards his face. Aram had to lean his head back against the pillow a little when her hands came too close to plastering themselves all over his cheeks and nose. Clearly, Leila hadn't quite yet mastered a sense of spatial awareness.  

'Mamaaa,' she giggled softly.  
'Wrong way around, kiddo,' Aram chuckled, kissing her forehead. He sat Leila up and turned her around to face Samar in the opposite direction before speaking again; 'Mama's over there.'  
'Baaba,' was all Leila could babble in response.  
'It's like she's figured out the words, but not what they mean yet,' Samar mused. Aram's lip quirked up in amusement.  
'Doctor Google did say that would be the case for a while.' Samar's gaze shifted from Aram, back to the little girl still happily babbling between them.   
'Leila,' she murmured, bowing her head to blow a raspberry on Leila's cheeks. 'Try saying dada?'  
'Baabaaaaaaaa,' Leila cackled back, with a high-pitched, almost squeal like noise at the raspberries. Samar and Aram swapped nonchalant glances. Samar shrugged, and Aram pushed himself to sit up properly, both of them unfazed. Leila would figure it out eventually, and they knew what she meant. In the meantime it was simply amusing to listen to her try.  
'Well, Daddy in Hebrew is _Aba_...' Aram observed, grinning as he tousled Leila's hair. She had picked up Mr Spikes again, and was now pushing the green and purple dinosaur towards Aram as he spoke, wanting to play. 'I'm half Jewish and you work for Mossad. It's close enough.'  
‘That, and…’ Samar mused, pausing for a moment to give Aram an amused, guilty grin, ‘Daddy in Farsi, the informal instead of Father, is _Baba_.’  
‘Is _that_ where she got it from?’ Aram narrowed his eyes in teasing suspicion and indignation. ‘I _knew_ you two talk about me when you speak Farsi.’ Samar rolled her eyes. Aram couldn’t hold up the suspicious act and instead broke into another grin, wide from ear to ear. Though he didn’t always understand Samar when she spoke Farsi, he was fairly sure that when he did listen to her, she used the English ‘Dada’ in reference to him, just to prevent confusion as Leila learned to speak -just as his parents had done with him in the rare moments they spoke in Farsi when he was little… But it was fun to tease all the same. Casting his gaze back to Mr Spikes, he took the fuzzy, stuffed dinosaur, holding it up in front of himself and turning it around to face Leila... Right as the sound of a familiar beeping in the kitchen made Samar jump.   
'Ooh, that's the coffee machine,' she chirped. Samar ducked her head one way around Mr Spikes to plant a quick kiss to Aram's cheek, then again the other way to affectionately stage whisper in Leila's ear; 'Leila, watch your fuzzy sheep, and make sure he doesn't go anywhere for a minute, ok?' Leila, too preoccupied by watching Aram's waving around of her favourite toy, didn't glance back... But Aram suddenly paused, glancing over the dinosaur to eye Samar suspiciously.   
'Fuzzy sheep?' He asked, raising a wry eyebrow. Samar simply smirked as she rose from the bed.  
'Baaba,' she said, quite matter of factly. Her lip twitched for a moment, before suddenly breaking into song; 'baabaa, black sheep, have you any wool?' Aram rolled his eyes, instantly understanding; of course, that was _far_ more likely to be where Leila’s use of ‘Baba’ came from. Leila finally drew her attention from Mr Spikes, recognising one of her favourite tunes and clumsily shifting herself around to face Samar expectantly... And so Samar continued as she crossed the room, silly voices and all; 'yes sir, yes sir, three bags full... One for the master, one for the dame, and one for little Leila who lives down the lane.' Samar paused in the doorway just long enough to wink in Aram's direction. 'Back in a second,' she added, before quickly darting out of the room. Aram redirected his gaze back to Leila once more, having momentarily dropped Mr Spikes onto the bed covers in front of her.   
'Your mom doesn't pull off an innocent face anywhere near as well as I do,' he muttered drolly, 'but you certainly can.' As if on cue to oh-so-innocently change the subject, Leila tilted her head, pushing the fuzzy dinosaur back towards him. 'What are you two up to, hmmm?'

It took mere minutes for Samar to return, very deliberately and not at all subtly setting just _one_ coffee mug down on the drawered nightstand beside Aram. She sat back down on the side of the bed again, almost as if impatiently awaiting some kind of response. Aram narrowed his eyes, glancing sideways to read the text printed on the side of the mug.  
'Number one cool Dad?' He skeptically read aloud.  
'You disagree?' Samar asked. She was still trying to sound completely innocent, and she was failing. 'I mean, I'm sure Leila could give it to Ressler instead if-'  
'-You wouldn't…’ Aram said, smirking. ‘And you're copying all my cheesiest ideas.'  
'And?'  
'You're not cheesy. What are you planning?'  
'You mean... Besides lunch for everyone?' Samar teased. Aram nodded. 'Oh, speaking of which-' she added, her voice taking on a more serious tone as she deliberately ignored the nod '-drink your coffee. Leila has pancakes waiting for you in the kitchen.'  
'Oh, does she now?' Aram laughed, eyeing Leila in mock suspicion. He also noted the change in topic, but decided not to point it out. Whatever her plan was –and clearly, she had one considering the uncharacteristic chirpiness- Aram was curious to see what she had in store for him... Or rather, what _Leila_ had in store for him. It was quite clear; Samar was going with that very same ruse he had used for her and Liz a month or so earlier –everything was from Leila.   
'Mmhmmm,' Samar hummed. 'And don't forget that everyone's coming over for lunch.'

By 'everyone', Samar really did mean everyone –at least in the sense of their combined social circle anyway. Liz and Sammy, of course, were coming along, as were Aram's parents. Mehri and Naveed had been in DC for just over a week already, so that Naveed could have his shoulder replacement, both of them could look at apartments in the area while they waited out the first six weeks post surgery and attend all the follow up appointments. Naveed was still reluctant to move from their home in Delaware, but he and Mehri had agreed; so long as she didn't _fuss_ too much over his shoulder being in a sling for those six weeks, and so long as looking didn't necessarily mean _buying_ , he wouldn't complain too much about at least taking a look around. In the meantime, they were staying in a short lease apartment just a few blocks over, and Mehri had already volunteered herself to help Samar make the late lunch. Ressler, Cooper and Charlene were invited too –Ressler, due to the newly reset boundary, and Cooper and Charlene because both of their two children were college-aged and studying abroad.  

All in all, they were set for a busy afternoon... And Aram wondered what on earth Samar could possibly have planned amongst all that.

/*/*/*/*

Samar remained quiet as the morning went on, as if everything was normal. After a while, Leila was settled and placed back in her crib for an early nap before everyone else arrived and all the excitement took over but in the meantime, Samar was curled up on her usual corner of the couch reading over a steaming cup of tea. The kitchen preparation –with which, she had banned Aram from helping her given the celebration of the day- was all done and awaiting Mehri's arrival. Now, it was simply a question of killing time. Samar was acting so eerily normal –which was even more strange, given how unnaturally innocent and cheesy she had been when she woke him up earlier- that Aram was growing more and more terrified of what she was hiding... And _when_ she would reveal whatever it was. Aram had even resorted to distracting himself by focusing his attentions instead on his laptop and getting some overdue reports out of the way before the crowd arrived.  

'Ugh, I need a new USB hub,' Aram grumbled under his breath to himself, and glaring at the current, offending one plugged into the side of his laptop. He gave a small sigh; his current USB hub kept glitching, and not always registering in his laptop. Aram had been grumbling to himself about it for a while in fact, more and more intensely as the weeks went on without him having time to go and buy a new one. Samar's lip quirked up with a hint of amusement as she glanced across the room at the wrapped gift on the desk right beside him, wondering to see how long it would take him to notice -just as she had been from the moment Aram has sat down at the desk earlier. Aram's grumbling was directed more towards himself and his computer than her, but Samar could still hear it... And she had _been_ hearing it every time every time the current USB hub gave him grief. That was precisely why the wrapped gift was where it was; some seven inches tall and four inches wide, subtly wrapped in plain blue paper with a white gift bow on top, it sat on the shared desk on the far side of the living room, nestled in amongst Aram's miniature mountain of gadgets and other tech wizard necessities that Samar usually kept out of. Regardless, Samar kept her amusement to herself as Aram promptly went rifling through everything on the desk for something else to use instead, all the while still grumbling to himself.   
'I think Leila left something there for you that might make you feel better,' Samar gently prompted, as Aram stared blankly past the gift for the third time in as many minutes. Aram furrowed his brow, puzzled for a moment, glancing quickly at Samar and then back to the desk... Searching for whatever it was she was talking about. Finally, his gaze settled upon the mysterious gift, and the confusion on his face only intensified.  
'When did that get there?' He asked curiously. Or, the better question that ran through his mind in the same moment; _had Samar been listening to his grumblings the whole time?_ Samar simply shrugged.  
'Why don't you just open it and see what it is?' Aram did so. He tugged at the end of the wrapping paper neatly folded and tucked in at the bottom, pausing only to note the excess of crumpled tape stuck on at various points –clearly, Leila had enjoyed 'helping' to wrap it- until he spotted the end of the present contained within. From what he could see, it appeared to be a dark blue, cardboard box... And the edge of a familiar purple logo on the corner.   
'That looks like...' Aram murmured, before trailing off in disbelief. Now, he was even more curious.  
'Keep going,' Samar instructed, holding back a laugh at the cautious delight on his face. Aram continued to pull at the wrappings, until they fell away entirely. He burst out laughing as he flipped the rectangular box around to eye its contents through the clear display panel. Inside the box was a Tardis... And not just any old Tardis model, but if the label on the box was any indication, it was a Tardis USB hub.

The gadget he needed, styled as something from his favourite show.  

According to the box, it even lit up, flashed, and made the Tardis 'whoosh' noise every time a flash drive was plugged in or unplugged from it.

Aram couldn't wipe the sheer glee from his face.

Finally, he broke his gaze away from staring in amazed disbelief at the box in his hands, and turned back to grin widely at Samar. Her lips were pursed in only the tiniest of pleased smiles... But her eyes twinkled all the same. She had been lost as to what present to get for him, especially after the beautiful necklace he had presented her with for Mother's Day a month or so earlier, but after much frustrated research, she had stumbled across the very thing that delighted him so much now. And on the inside, Samar was just as delighted by seeing him so happy. Aram crossed the room back to her, restraining himself from bouncing on the balls of his feet in excitement in favour of a far more subtle, gentle kiss on the cheek. He could also read the expression on her face and he knew what it meant; no matter how amazed he was at the way she had listened to his quiet grumblings all along, there was an important ruse still at play.   
'Remind me to thank Leila when she wakes up,' he said softly. Finally, Samar cracked a small grin, and kissed him back... But there was something else on her mind that Aram hadn't yet discovered; there was still one more gift hidden, and waiting for him to find.  

/*/*/*/*

The lunch extended to dinner. Samar resumed her state of appearing completely normal. Aram, by that point, was convinced that the Tardis USB hub was all that she had been planning for him, and had stopped looking for anything else... And that was precisely what Samar was hoping for.  

It wasn't until everyone had left, and Samar finally allowed Aram to resume any form of his usual helpfulness rather than telling him to spend the day relaxing and looking after his own father –Naveed of course, had been irritated with only having the use of one arm for the time being- that Aram realised there was any other surprise still to come.  

He carried Leila –now sleepy and cranky after all the afternoon's over-excitement- back to her crib. She was nearly asleep, save for some final, stubborn grizzling. The light was switched off, the room only lit by the soft, purple nightlight in the corner. With his back to the doorway, Aram murmured in a low voice to Leila until the grizzling finally eased. He didn't even notice Samar appear in the doorway, standing there and silently watching him, nor the small, wrapped parcel tied to one of the corner bars of the crib. It was wrapped in the same blue paper, and tied with an almost identical white ribbon... And it wasn't until Aram's eyes adjusted fully to the darkness that he even spotted the fist-sized parcel. He furrowed his brow in a mixture of amusement and suspicion, gently lowering Leila into the crib, before disentangling the last gift and tugging at the paper.  
'Of course, because no Father's Day gift is complete without a tie,' he chuckled quietly to himself as he stared down at the rolled up fabric... And then he paused, curious. Aram turned on the spot, glancing over at his shoulder and eyeing Samar standing in the doorway just as expected. She grinned as he slowly unravelled it, and his face changed again... But this time to an expression of shock and amazement. 'Wait a minute...' He breathed... Samar tried desperately to keep a straight face. Aram stared down at the black tie adorned with a seemingly abstract array of gold circles. 'Samar... This is...'  
'Mmhmm...'  
'It's a Doctor Who tie.'   
'Yep,' Samar tried to hold back a laugh.  
'This is Gallifreyan...'  
'Yep.'  
'It's the Doctor's name in Gallifreyan.'  
'Yep.' Finally Aram looked back up again, meeting her gaze in utter disbelief.  
'How do you even know what Gallifreyan is?' He asked.  
'I might not know all things computer-related, but I _can_ Google search for Doctor Who things,' Samar chortled back.  
'I'm impressed,' Aram teased. 'But for bonus points, do you know what _kind_ of Gallifreyan it is?'  
'...Is there more than one?'  
'Actually, there are two.' Aram broke into a wide grin, as Samar crossed the room from the doorway to stand by his side next to the crib.   
'Then no, I have no idea,' Samar responded, rolling her eyes. 'But, I'll guess that... It's the circular one?' Aram simply shook his head in mock exasperation.   
'This is Standard Galifreyan, where each individual letter is a circle, and they're all in a row. In Circular Gallifreyan, each letter of a word is a circle, but they're in concentric rings within one overall circle.' Samar just blinked back at him, lip quirked up at his matter of fact explanation.   
'My Google search didn't turn up results that detailed,' she said drolly, 'but it's noted for future reference... I think.' Aram shot her a look, but Samar continued all the same. _'Anyway_ , it was either that or a Tardis tie, but I figure...You couldn't get away with wearing a Tardis tie to work, Cooper would call it unprofessional-'  
'-so would Ressler,' Aram quickly added. Samar nodded her agreement, smirking at the very idea of Ressler being faced with a Tardis tie during war room briefings.  
'Whereas with this one...' She mused, 'to anyone who's unfamiliar, it just looks like some abstract swirls. You could wear it to work tomorrow and nobody would know except other fans. It'd be like being undercover.' Aram's eyes snapped to hers, decidedly impressed, and suddenly even more excited.  
'You put some thought into that.'  
'Well... Technically Leila did,' Samar pointed out. 'It being  Father's Day and all. She must be learning from all those times you settled her while watching Doctor Who.'  
'Right, of course.' Aram nodded earnestly, but couldn't stop the grin from tugging at his lips. He wrapped one arm around her, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of her head as she leaned into his side, both of them staring contently at Leila now fast asleep in her crib. 'Then thank you for taking her shopping.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tardis USB Hub (Amazon) is [here](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0040I7J6G/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B0040I7J6G&linkCode=as2&tag=raggedyfan-20&linkId=LLSFUIHMXPVM4HDO)
> 
> Doctor Who Gallifreyan Tie (Etsy) is [here](https://www.etsy.com/listing/210546081/the-doctors-name-in-gallifreyan-mens?source=aw&awc=6220_1472819595_6486327c4bfcdfee4a3a0e2b1e0ff910&utm_source=affiliate_window&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=us_location_buyer&utm_content=232793)
> 
> Next up, the start of a new arc with the much teased Chapter 61, "Demons". It is so named for the Imagine Dragons song by the same name, if you care to give it a listen, because I was listening to Imagine Dragons on Spotify the whole time I was writing it and the following two chapters. 
> 
> Be warned, it encompasses a few things that were requested in various comments and other conversations (such as, a brief return of Sniper Samar, yay!) and it ends on another cliffhanger, and I am determined not to give in and post the following chapter so early this time! ...I know, I am a horrible person. But at least you know it's coming this time :P


	61. Demons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Tuesday, June 27, 2017.
> 
> Ahh... Chapter 61. I may have teased this one too much. It came from the feeling like I needed a new arc, and bafflement over what that arc should be... And who the next villain could be that would impact Samar in a story like this. Then discussions with AuraSweet13 posed an intriguing question, and my mind went running with it. And so, here we go; it's a few hours earlier than usual, but it's close enough.
> 
> As promised, the family tree diagram is in the notes at the end. It will, of course, be updated if any significant developments occur. Personally, I'd prefer it look a little nicer, but I've never been overly talented with graphic design. I did attempt to add photos, and then it occurred to me how many original characters are on that tree and just how difficult it is to cast some of those faces. I'm working on it :P In the meantime, if anyone feels artsy, you're welcome to draw a nicer one!

**_TUESDAY MORNING..._ **

Samar stepped past the rumbling elevator doors back into the war room after taking Leila downstairs, only to find it a completely different space from the one she had left all of fifteen minutes earlier. The war room was a-buzz with activity. Samar glanced around the room, more and more concern visibly crossing her face the further she walked in. Aram was at his desk, trying to coordinate the people setting up more computer desks around him, and seemingly overwhelmed.  

And the most surprising thing, was that right in the centre of the room, she saw not only Reddington standing there, but Levi as well.  

As discreetly as she could, Samar nudged Aram's arm to capture his attention.

'Did Internal Affairs finally wrap up their investigation?' She asked quietly, 'are we taking cases again?' Wordlessly, Aram shook his head between giving out instructions to those around him. Samar watched on, curious. 'Then what is going on?'   
'I'm not sure,' Aram finally whispered back. 'The only order I heard from Cooper was to get these people organised, and then someone else pulled him aside to ask a question. All I know is that whatever's going on, it's important enough that Internal Affairs temporarily lifted our suspension for it.' Samar narrowed her eyes, panning her gaze around the war room once more. Levi was deep in conversation with Ressler and Liz. Cooper looked just as serious and completely engrossed in what looked like some kind of debate with Reddington. None of them seemed to notice that Samar had returned. The mad rush around the room continued until Cooper looked up, his voice booming to catch Levi's attention.  
'Agent Shur,' he called out. 'Are you ready?' Levi nodded, and the room fell silent. He was standing just below the overheads, seemingly the person in charge of briefing them all on what was going on. Everyone's eyes were on Levi, while his scanned his audience. Briefly, Samar caught his eye, and he gave her a friendly -albeit weary- nod of acknowledgement.

Samar couldn't help but notice just how exhausted and unhappy he looked.  

The briefing didn't last long. For all its seriousness, the intelligence was thin. Mossad had uncovered information suggesting that there was an urgent threat of a major attack in the area. DC of course, wasn't Mossad's jurisdiction. That particular duty fell to the FBI, but the information itself was significant enough that Mossad was insisting on working the case with the Bureau... And with Samar being the only Mossad-FBI liaison in the area in the wake of the former's recent staff cuts, for once that meant that the taskforce wasn't working a case brought to them by Reddington.

And yet, Reddington wasn't at all fazed by this. Terrorism seemed to be one rare instance of criminal activity where his stance was aligned with that of everyone else. It was bad for his business too, plus he knew everything that was happening everywhere. Even Levi was relieved to have Red's resources at his disposal.  

...Even more so, considering that the intelligence suggested not one, but two attacks. The first was to be smaller, but still big enough to distract emergency responders and law enforcement from the possibility of a second and give the impression that it was all over... Only for the second to take advantage of the weakened resources and inflict maximum damage. But at least in this case, the taskforce knew what to expect.

Between both Levi and Cooper's orders, every single agent in the crowd assembled in the room was assigned some task or another, and they all scattered quickly.  

The clock was ticking.

From her workstation and out of the corner of her eye, Samar observed Levi lingering towards one side of the war room. Making a snap judgement, she darted straight towards him, nearly making him jump. Either way, Levi forced a smile... But Samar didn't. She bit her lip, staring back at him in concern.   
'Where did this information come from?' She asked quietly. For information so thin and a situation so uncertain, it seemed strange for Mossad to be quite so riled up about it when they usually prided themselves on having the ultimate discretion.  
'I don't know,' Levi sighed in response. Lips pursed and one wry eyebrow raised, Samar shot Levi a very particular look –one that despite having not seen it in a _long_ time, was still painfully familiar. 'I don't know, honestly,' he insisted, shaking his head. 'I asked, but they wouldn't tell me the source. I don't like being forced to work with information I'm not sure I can trust either, you know that.' Samar gave a slow nod, taking that in.  
'Then what _aren't_ you telling me?'  
'Nothing.'  
'Levi.' Samar's voice was still quiet, but notably sharper that time. He really did look miserable, and not just in the sense of being stressed by the job.  
'It's personal, nothing case related,' he murmured. Finally, Levi broke into small, but still genuine smile. 'You always did notice when something was on my mind...'  
'You can still tell me about it, if you want to,' Samar prompted gently. Levi hesitated for a moment, but nonetheless relented.  
'My wife, Talia...' He started, but trailed off as Samar winced. She had decided not to go to the wedding, despite having been invited. It just hadn't seemed right at the time, to go while in the midst of her pregnancy and all her anxieties, when Levi was unaware of it. Instead, Samar had sent a card –after all, she still had genuinely wanted to see him happy again- but otherwise stayed as far away as possible until that fateful day where they had bumped into each other at the coffee shop a few months later.  
'You're having problems?'  
'Not so much problems... More a small disagreement.'  
'About?' Levi hesitated again, letting out a sigh.   
'She wants to start a family... And I'm not so sure.'   
'Because of Shahin?' Samar asked softly. Her face crumpled in sympathy as Levi nodded miserably.  
'Leila's healthy,' he observed, 'it makes me wonder if Shahin's problems came from my side of things, and I don't want that to happen again.'  
'The biggest problem was that we ran out of time, when he arrived too early,' Samar gently pointed out. 'He might have survived, otherwise. Leila arrived early too, so we can’t blame either one of us specifically for happened to Shahin.' Levi's lip twitched knowingly as his gaze temporarily dropped to the ground.  
'Talia said the same thing,' he admitted.  
'You told her about Shahin?'  
'Eventually,' Levi said, nodding slowly again. 'I didn't want to, but... After a while, I had to.' Samar too, nodded her understanding. 'How did you tell Aram?' Samar paused for a second, before rolling her eyes at herself.   
'I panicked,' she said, a small grin breaking through at the memory of the terrifying moment and Aram's quick move to calm her. Levi chuckled softly.  
'Me too,' he murmured, grinning back. A brief, amused silence fell between them as they both reflected... Until Samar tilted her head slightly, staring back at him thoughtfully.   
'You'll never know if you don't try,' she said slowly, thinking back to their time in France as she spoke; 'and while I was hesitant about kids, you never were. You always wanted them, and you'd be a good dad.' Levi bit his lip.   
'You think?' His voice was uncertain, desperate to believe it was true, but still fearful.   
'I think it was clear when Shahin was born, that there was nothing you wouldn't do for him,' Samar said earnestly, 'if Talia knows what happened, she should understand that it's hard for you.' A sudden commotion amongst a crowd of their co-workers standing at one of the desks caught Samar's attention before she could speak any further. She gazed around Levi's shoulder, instantly serious again. Levi turned, seeing what she was looking at, and sighed again before gesturing for Samar to step forwards ahead of him.   
'Come on,' he murmured. 'Let's see what they've got.'

/*/*/*/*

What they had, was a suspect and an address. Within mere minutes, the team –FBI and Mossad alike- were geared up and heading towards the elevator, off to see who or what they could bring back. The war room fell quiet again as it emptied, possibly the quietest it had been all day. Aram still sat at his desk, poring over all the information he had. Every so often, he shook his head in annoyance –but without even realising he was doing it. Finally, gritting his teeth, he looked around. Cooper stood not too far above up on the catwalk, staring out pensively at the war room below. Aram caught his eye, then darted from his desk and up the stairs towards him in a flash.   
'Director Cooper, sir?' He asked hesitantly. Cooper raised a curious eyebrow, but nodded all the same; Aram was glancing around the space in apparent nervousness. 'Permission to investigate where this information came from... Independently?' He whispered.   
'You don't trust Mossad?'  
'I trust Agent Navabi. If she thinks there's reason to be curious, then I do too.' Though Aram couldn't quite put his finger on it, something just didn't add up... And it was bothering him.   
'How exactly do you plan on...' Cooper's lip twitched, bemused, as he paused on the final word. '...Investigating?'  
'...I still have a number of contacts in the NSA, sir.' Aram said hurriedly, his voice still hushed so as not to be overheard. 'One in particular may have some insight.'  
'Can you trust him to be discreet?'  
'Well... He's not here in the States anymore. He's stationed-' Aram cut himself off, shaking his head. Not even he was supposed to know where his friend was stationed. '-It's the kind of classified that goes beyond the site where Agents Keen, Navabi, and Ressler were overrun by Luther Braxton, sir. We only communicate via highly encrypted messages... And um, holiday cards.' Aram winced sheepishly, wondering why he had added on that last, unnecessary piece of information. Cooper, however, gave a wry smile, prompting Aram to explain –and he did so. 'Uh, he was the very first of my parents' honourary adoptees... He still sends them a card every holiday season.' Aram stared back at Cooper, expecting some kind of judgement. Aram knew as well as Cooper did, that post into and out of blacksites that were so classified they didn't exist, was highly controlled... And holiday cards were _not_ usually the kind of post that passed those controls. Regardless, Cooper's face was impossible to read, and so Aram took a breath, before taking the silence as license to continue. 'He'll look into it and not ask questions, if the request comes from me.' He added, nodding adamantly.  

Cooper took in a slow, thoughtful breath. He began to walk, one step, two steps away from Aram, only barely glancing back over his shoulder.

'Do it,' he muttered quietly as he passed. 'And Aram?' Aram stared back, like a deer caught in headlights at Cooper's warning tone. 'If either of you get caught, I didn't authorise this.'  
'Understood, sir.'

/*/*/*/*

**_TUESDAY EVENING..._ **

Suspects were questioned. Houses and offices were raided. The whole city was on alert, more and more so as the day moved into evening and the information slowly pulled together. The combined team worked around the clock, dealing with arms dealers, bomb makers, people smugglers, document forgers, phone records, bank records and travel records... Everything and everyone who had the slightest link to what was going on. The approximate time and location of the first attack –but not that of the second- was given up relatively easily by those on the peripheries who had little loyalty to the attackers who had rendered their services –but the attackers themselves remained a mystery. Both of those facts left the team unsurprised.

But what did knock the wind out of everyone for a moment before sending them all scrambling –was the fact that Mossad's information hadn't come soon enough. The first attack was scheduled _far_ earlier than expected.

They had no idea who was responsible, but they did know _where_ he would be, and _when_ he would be there.  

Entire city blocks were locked down. Buildings were searched, looking for the device that continued to tick down the minutes. The bomb squad was on scene as soon as it was found chained to drain pipe in the unused basement beneath a restaurant, as were surveillance teams and snipers –perched on rooftops along the street, ready to take out the man responsible for leaving the bomb as soon as they knew who he was. Samar was among them, the secondary sniper in case the first missed. She could practically hear her own heart beating in her chest as she lay on the rooftop, breathing heavily, and studying the street before her, watching... And waiting. Liz, Ressler and Levi meanwhile, were in the crowd on the street below, urgently evacuating and questioning everyone from the area.  

If it weren't for the urgency and the state of alert, it would have been quite a pleasant evening. The sky was just starting to swirl with purple as the sun slowly went down, and the gentle breeze was just enough for it not to be completely still. It almost tickled against Samar's arm's as she surveyed the entire street through her scope.

'Ok, we're looking for a guy of average height, about mid-thirties, wearing jeans and a black t-shirt, and carrying a khaki backpack,' Ressler's voice echoed through the comms in Samar's ear. A breath hitched in her throat, her focus on the street below immediately sharpening, searching the evacuating crowd for someone who fit the description.  
'That's a helpful description,' Liz's droll voice in turn, also rang in Samar's ears. 'if not for the backpack, that could describe about a third of the guys on this entire block.'  
'The restaurant manager only got a brief look at him,' Ressler replied flatly, 'and he only noticed because he saw the guy wandering out, away from the basement's side entrance and though it was odd.'  
'I see a lot of men in jeans and dark shirts around the same age, but none with backpacks,' Samar observed.  
'The backpack is probably what he carried the device in,' Levi thought out loud.   
'Could he have dropped it to blend in once he was out on the street?' Liz asked.   
'It's possibl-' Ressler began.  
'-We've got about ninety seconds left on the device here,' the bomb squad Commander's voice cut him off.  
'Keep working on it,' Ressler ordered in response, 'but evacuate as many of your team early as you can, Commander. Liz, how many more people need to get out at your end?'  
'Not a huge crowd, but still a few people,' she answered.  
'Pick up the pace if you can.' Ressler gazed around his own cordoned off exit, filtering each evacuating person in twos and threes as they went out to ensure that no suspects slipped through. He too, still had a few to go. 'Levi, how about your end?'

But Levi didn't respond.  

'Samar...' He eventually spoke up, ignoring Ressler's question. His voice shook slightly, and Samar's heart instantly skipped a beat. 'Is your phone off?'  
'I didn't want it distracting me while I'm up here,' she quickly replied. Her eyes remained intently focused on the crowd in the street, desperate not to let the curiosity distract her. 'Why?'  
'Aram just called me,' Levi spoke slowly, and cautiously again, almost as if not even he believed what he was saying, 'he figured out who Mossad's source was...'  
'I've got the suspect in sight, sir,' came the voice of the first sniper, before Levi could finish. 'Khaki backpack and all, he's approaching the northern evac point. Permission to fire?'  
'Permission granted, but when he's not too close to other people,' Ressler commented. 'We don't want any innocent civilians hit.'  
'Understood, sir.'  
'-Samar-' Levi's voice broke through again.   
'-Twenty five seconds and counting,' the bomb squad Commander cut him off.  
'Ok, get everyone out, _now_ ,' Ressler ordered. He went running towards his own exit. Liz did the same.   
'Samar, the man we're looking for is-'

...But again, Levi couldn't finish his breathless sentence. The first sniper's shot rang out, echoing in the street.

It missed, the bullet instead firmly embedding itself in the front plaster wall of an antique store so quickly that it barely registered. Samar instantly leaned further forwards, staring intently through her scope –now her duty as secondary sniper to do what the first could not. She scanned the crowd for what felt like the millionth time, until _finally_... She caught the tail end of a khaki backpack. She did a double take, lining up the suspect in her sights.

Average height, mid-thirties, jeans, black t-shirt and the khaki backpack...

...It was him.  

Samar's finger wrapped around the trigger, ready to pull.  

It all happened so fast, Levi's unfinished sentence still echoed in her head... But it felt like everything was in slow motion.

Slowly but surely, her finger began to apply pressure on the trigger... Just as the man turned his head. The familiarity of his face registered in Samar's eyes enough to delay the final pull by a fraction of a second, but not enough to stop it entirely. The bullet released, flying rapidly into the air... And then the realisation hit home for good.  
'-Shahin...' Samar gasped, pulling her hands back from her rifle and instantly recoiling as she finished Levi's sentence. She scrambled back along the rooftop on her knees, in absolute shock, unable to watch and yet, equally unable to pull her eyes away as they tracked the path of the bullet through the air. 'It's Shahin.'  

But that nanosecond of delay was enough. The bullet missed, whizzing just past Shahin's ear so close that there was no way he wouldn't have heard it whistle. He dropped the backpack to the ground, immediately sprinting through the crowd that was already scrambling in the wake of two shots having rung out above their heads. He pushed through the crowd, disappearing deep into the mix of final people scurrying through the evacuation points.

The agents who had never seen him before and didn't recognise him, couldn't stop him.  

...But Samar was too stunned to even take any of that in.  

'Levi, how is that possibl-' she began to ask...

And then everything flashed before her eyes. Fire and ash, smoke and shrapnel all flew through the air. The explosion had gone off. Samar went flying backwards across the roof from the impact, landing on her back with a thud. She gasped for breath, winded, and choking on the polluted breeze... Her eyes fluttered closed... And everything went dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Teehehe... I know, I know. The cliffhanger. I could not resist, I'm sorry. And so many questions.... They will be answered, don't worry... As will a few other lingering ones from an earlier chapter. Next up; 'Damaged'. :D
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> [](https://www.flickr.com/gp/152300685@N03/3YJF5c)
> 
>  
> 
> Key: Red = relationships no longer current. Blue = adoptive/adoptive-like relationships. White text = people who are no longer alive.


	62. Damaged

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Tuesday, June 27, 2017.
> 
> Here we go, picking up almost right where we left off. Hopefully, some answers... And further exploration of somebody new. 
> 
> Yes, it's a little early. I just watched the last episode (4x04) and I am in need of my crazy fictional universe over here instead of the canon stuff right now. So, here you go. 
> 
> If cuteness makes you feel any better like it does me, I added a picture of Mr Spikes at the bottom! :)

**_TUESDAY NIGHT..._ **

Samar jumped as her eyes snapped open. She thrashed wildly for a few seconds, looking around in a panic and trying to figure out where she was. A familiar pair of arms wrapped themselves around hers, steadying her, and she looked up. She was in a hospital Emergency Room –Samar noted the painfully familiar white washed walls, bright lights and faded blue curtains as she calmed down- and Aram was right there next to her, with a doctor by his side.  
'Samar,' he prompted hurriedly, 'it's ok, you're ok. Stop fighting.'

Samar simply blinked back at him in shock, freezing still. She could see his lips moving, but she couldn't hear what he was saying at all.  

In fact, the more she calmed and thought about it, she couldn't hear any of the usual hospital noise either. No beeping machines, no yelling patients, no beds whooshing past through the Emergency Room. No wonder she was confused when she suddenly regained consciousness.  
'Aram, I-' she instinctively tried to speak, and then stopped. She had opened her mouth, and she was _sure_ words had come out, but she couldn't hear herself speak. In fact, Samar couldn't hear anything except a high pitched ringing. The doctor reached forwards, his finger outstretched for her to follow with her eyes. Samar didn't need to hear his instruction to know what to do, she had been tested for concussions enough times, but that didn't make it feel any less strange. She tracked the doctor's finger with her eyes without issue, and he went back to writing notes on his clipboard.  
'No concussion that I can see now she's conscious again,' the doctor murmured to Aram, before turning back to face Samar again. 'For someone who was so close to an explosion, you're lucky. You were knocked out by the force of the blast, but all you've got is cuts and bruises. You'll be just fine.' Samar stared back at them both, shaking her head slightly, and desperate to know what was being said. Aram furrowed his brow in concern as he watched her, unsure what to make of her lack of response.  
'Samar,' he murmured curiously, 'can you hear me?'  

Samar's gaze didn't shift from staring at the doctor. She didn't see Aram's face move as he spoke, she was too busy trying to process the fact that she couldn't hear anything.

'Samar,' Aram spoke again. Still, Samar didn't turn in response. Aram nudged her arm, finally catching her attention. 'Can you hear me?' Samar let out a bitter sigh, and gestured to her ear with one hand.  
'I can't hear a thing you're saying,' she explained flatly, completely oblivious to the fact that they had asked precisely the same question.   
'Temporary hearing loss, probably from being so close to the blast,' the doctor commented to Aram. 'She should recover her hearing in twenty four hours or so, but in some cases it can be up to a week.' He quickly scribbled a note of the hearing loss on his clipboard, before speaking again. 'You can take her home now, but just keep an eye on that hearing loss. Come back if she still can't hear you in three days from now.' And with that, the doctor marched out of the treatment bay, off to tell someone to organise Samar's discharge papers. Samar glanced expectantly back at Aram, awaiting some kind of explanation.

Quick on his feet, Aram pulled his phone from his pocket, typed out everything she needed to know in as short form as possible, and then held it up for her to see;

' _No injuries, you'll be ok. Your hearing should come back in a day or so. Ressler partially lost hearing too, that's why I thought to ask, but his isn't as bad as yours. Liz and Levi are ok. We can go home soon._ '

Samar nodded slowly in understanding, then took the phone from him and backspaced the text. In its place she typed ' _and everyone else? What happened? What about Shahin?'_ before handing the phone straight back to him. Aram tried desperately to hold back an amused smirk. Within seconds the phone was back in Samar's hands, now reading ' _you know I can hear_ you _, right? You can speak if you want to_.' Samar glanced up from the tiny screen with a distinctly unimpressed expression plastered all across her face.  
'It feels one-sided if I speak and you type,' she muttered. 'And not being able to hear myself is just..' Samar shook her head in uncomfortable frustration rather than finishing her sentence. Aram typed quickly in response;

' _No fatalities at the scene, last I heard. A few people were struck by some shrapnel and two have some minor fractures after being thrown back by the force of the blast, but otherwise everyone's ok. The team got them all out in time. About three blocks all around the blast site has been blocked off, and emergency responders are still securing the restaurant to make sure the rest of the building doesn’t collapse. No sign of Shahin, but Levi is working on it. He's refusing to go home until Shahin is caught, I heard him on the phone to his wife..._ '

Good and bad news, all rolled into one. Samar grimaced, unsure what to respond to first, until she suddenly looked up in alarm.  
'Leila,' she burst out –more a horrified realisation demanding an answer, than a real question. Sensing the urgency, Aram held up his phone again –now bearing the easiest four words to calm the situation as quickly as possible;

' _W_ _ith Mom and Dad_.'

/*/*/*/*

The drive home from the hospital, though short, left Samar more and more frustrated. Endless questions swirled around in her mind about Shahin and how he could possibly be not only _alive_ , but back in the country again too... _And what the hell was Mossad playing at?_ _Why wouldn't they tell her if they knew Shahin was still alive and causing trouble?_ Not being able to hear –or rather, communicate at all given that Aram couldn't type while driving- felt like she was trapped in her own head, stuck forever with all those anxious thoughts.  

They arrived home to Leila sound asleep in her crib, and Mehri and Naveed waiting for them in the living room. They didn't stay long, insisting that they were tired and that Naveed needed to rest, but mostly because they sensed that their curious questions should wait for a more appropriate moment than Samar's current state. She was still processing the revelation that Shahin wasn't dead as she thought he was –now for the _second_ time- to the point where she was eerily calm in demeanour, but with wild, absent-minded eyes. There were no devastated tears, no angry yells, no slumped shoulders, and no crumpled facial expression. Samar was in shock, and that was that.  

'I gave Shahin to Reddington over a year ago now,' she mumbled, collapsing onto the couch. Aram nodded, sitting down beside her and pulling his laptop from the coffee table onto his lap. 'Reddington traded Shahin to the Venezuelans in return for their help in exonerating Liz...' Samar glanced curiously back to Aram and his laptop. 'I was _sure_ they would have killed him after that.' Aram opened up a blank word processing document and began to type. Samar rested her head on his shoulder, watching the words appear before her on the screen.  
' _I know,_ ' Aram typed, ' _after the explosion Levi and I both went straight to Mr. Reddington to ask what happened. He said that once Shahin was in the hands of the Venezuelans, it was up to them. He thought they would have killed Shahin too. We've both been trying to track Shahin's path since then... Levi was making furious phone calls to Mossad. Neither of us are having much luck with legal channels_.' Aram shifted slightly to glance pointedly at Samar, wordlessly asking as he always did, about the potential to resort to the channels that were... Well, _less_ than legal. Inside, though Aram was trying to keep his cool on the outside for Samar's sake, he was utterly infuriated. Aram was tired of seeing Samar hurt and upset, he was tired of seeing awful thing after awful thing continue to happen to her when the overwhelming majority of them weren't her fault. All he wanted was to see her happy... Instead, knowing that Shahin was back again, and that Mossad was messing her around _again_ after Maxwell and after her near transfer, bothered Aram all too much. All that he had been able to uncover from his friend in the NSA and relay to Levi just before the explosion went off, was that Mossad's information had come from some sealed case relating to one Zal Bin Hasaan.  

At that point, international laws and the fact that hacking was a felony, had gone flying out the window.  

They both needed answers.

And at least, this was one moment where Samar didn't need to hear anything to know what Aram wanted to do. Though she was still processing, she was also still curious, and too wide awake as a result to even consider going to bed with all those questions likely to keep her from sleeping. She gestured encouragingly at the laptop, and nodded her assent. Immediately, Aram began to type... And Samar watched on. She curled up against his side, tilting her head to rest against his shoulder as she watched; she didn't understand half of what appeared on the screen while Aram typed in what seemed to her like gibberish to break his way into restricted government databases from all over the globe. Samar was simply glad that with his skills, she was working _with_ him rather than against him. Slowly but surely, Aram made his way through the information, highlighting certain pieces as he found them to point them out, or typing simplified versions onto the blank document for Samar to read. Aram worked away at it all for well over two hours, but nether of them felt the time pass at all. They sat there in silence, puzzling over the information until it all finally made sense.

It seemed that instead of leaving Shahin for dead once they were done with interrogating him, the Venezuelans traded him onto the Russians in a highly classified prisoner exchange to gain information. Mossad then caught wind of it, and demanded that Shahin be extradited to them so that they could prosecute him for every crime committed in the name of Zal Bin Hasaan... From there it seemed that Mossad had interrogated Shahin ruthlessly, and uncovered that he and his old team had planned everything years in advance... And that the same old team was carrying on with his plans in his absence –thus, Shahin was both their source of information in the lead up to the attack earlier in the day, as well as the main perpetrator...

...Because after months in Mossad's custody, Shahin's old team also executed a contingency plan to break him out during a prison transfer.

And after digging through pages and pages of Mossad's own internal affairs incident reports in response to the escape, Aram and Samar agreed; that was about as far as the trail was going to go. Shahin was free once again... And Mossad was busily trying to cover up its series of debacles, while Shahin disappeared off the grid.  

Aram's fingertips came to a slow stop along the edge of the keyboard, his search having finally ended. He turned his head, shifting his gaze to the side to glance at Samar; she looked utterly exhausted –the dark, crinkled rings under her eyes said it all- but she was still wild eyed, and wide awake. Aram watched her eyes wander for a moment, before quickly turning back to his laptop.  
' _What next?'_ He simply typed. She clearly wasn't ready to sleep yet and quite frankly, neither was he... But Aram was at a loss for what to search next. Samar bit her lip as the two words appeared on the screen. She took a breath as their meaning sunk in and finally, her head fell a little heavier against his shoulder. Her shoulders began to slump... And she gave a weary sigh. The shock was starting to wear off now that they had pieced together some of the puzzle... But Samar wasn't yet ready to let the emotions take over. She hesitated for a second, fighting the urge to let the tears fall, and desperately trying to think of something else, or something distracting.  
'How was Angus when you spoke to him?' She practically whispered. In not being able to hear herself, it was difficult to figure out at what volume she was speaking. Aram nearly missed half the question... But only nearly.  
' _We didn't have a huge amount of time for personal conversation,_ ' he typed in response. ' _We wanted to figure out where Mossad's information came from as soon as possible_.' Samar's gaze fell from the screen in frustration, but Aram gently nudged her side with his elbow to prompt the return of her attention once more. He wasn't finished talking about his conversation with his trusted NSA buddy, former college dorm-mate and honourary brother just yet. ' _He said he might be coming back to the States some time though,_ ' Aram quickly added. Samar did a double take, finally cracking the tiniest of smiles –and prompting Aram to continue; ' _Angus' secondment to that base ends mid-next year, and then he'll have to choose whether to stay for another couple of years, or come back to NSA headquarters in Fort Meade._ '  
'Does that mean I finally get to meet your parents’ mysterious, first adoptee before myself and Liz?' Samar asked with a wry smile. She eyed the tiny grin tugging at Aram's lips for a second, before quickly dropping her attention expectantly back to the laptop screen, awaiting an answer.  
' _Possibly,_ ' Aram chuckled to himself a little as he typed back, ' _the island base was great when he wanted to get away from the States after Riley was born, and he loved teaching Riley to walk on the beach... But Riley will be three at the end of the year. Angus wants to look into a good pre-school for him for next year, so he'll probably come back. And-_ ' Aram paused, shooting Samar a small smile. He wasn't sure if her interest in meeting his friends –though genuine- was slightly exacerbated by the need for a happier, distracting topic, but Aram also didn't mind. She was happy when he was happy, and vice versa. Whether it be joy at the potential return of his friend, or relief at the momentary distraction from her trauma of the day, it didn't really matter. Either way, it was a moment of happiness for them both... If anything, it was a case of two birds and one stone. ' _-Angus said if he can get the time off work, he might fly back for a week or two in August to visit and slowly introduce Riley to the idea of being in a big city again,_ ' Aram finally finished typing, ' _so hopefully we'll see him soon_.'  
'That would be nice,' Samar murmured softly against his shoulder. Aram nodded his agreement, tipping his head to press a small kiss to her forehead...

...And then he suddenly jumped, shifting in his seat to gaze over the back of the couch and down the hall.

Samar glanced up, staring back at him confused as Aram gave a small sigh. Aram furrowed his brow at the confused expression on her face before he remembered; of course, she wouldn't have heard what made him jump. His face crumpled in sympathy, and his hand reached for hers. Aram tugged on her hand as he rose from the couch, pulling her along with him down the hall... And then into Leila's room. Finally letting go of her hand, Aram reached into the crib, gently picking Leila up and cradling her against his chest. Samar squinted through the semi darkness of the purple nightlight in the corner of the room, and instantly saw why; Leila's face was flushed pink and her eyes were scrunched miserably. She was crying, and loudly too... And Samar couldn't hear any of it. The only reason she knew her little girl was upset, was because Aram had taken her along with him and shown her.  

That was the breaking point.

Samar had temporarily lost hearing once before from being too close to an explosion, it wasn't exactly an unheard of scenario at Mossad. And though it wasn't the worst thing that had happened to her, and she had experienced it before, it was still frustrating now. The revelation that Shahin was still alive and causing trouble wasn't as much a shock this time as it was the first time around -this time, the idea that he was the infamous Hasaan was no surprise- but it still stirred up all kinds of feelings inside that Samar was desperately trying to push away by distracting herself instead... And she had nearly managed it. But this was the last straw; if she had been already fighting back the tears, this was what finally made them roll free down her cheeks. Leila had woken up upset, possibly picking up on both their stress, and Samar would never have known her little girl was screaming for her in that moment if not for Aram. Samar reached forwards, wanting to take Leila from him, and hold her herself. She held Leila close, rubbing her back and trying to murmur soothing words at a volume that at least _felt_ right. All the while, Aram wrapped his arms around both of them, nestling Leila comfortably in between them... Until Leila finally began to settle. It only took a few minutes, but to Samar it felt like an eternity until the little girl in her arms stopped squirming miserably and nuzzled against her shoulder instead. Aram gently pushed the loose hair from Samar's face, tucking it behind her ear. Another tear fell free from her eyelashes, rolling down her cheek and splashing against his hand.  
'I'm so tired of this,' Samar mumbled bitterly, 'these ghosts that just keep coming back again. I'm sick of things going wrong every time they start to feel right... I can carry the baggage of my past, but I don't want the weight of it to keep pulling me backwards. It's like fighting a losing battle, and I should be _stronger_ than this.' The last few words were laced with irritation at herself in particular, and Aram didn't know how to respond. He had left both his laptop and his phone in the living room, and trying to speak wasn't going help. He waited for Samar to stare back at him, her teeth gritted in frustration, and Aram quickly shook his head.   
'You're already stronger than anyone should have to be,' he murmured softly to her, wrapping his arms around her ever so slightly tighter. It didn't matter that she couldn't hear him. The meaning was understood regardless.  
'I don't want to keep being upset,' Samar whispered. She hated it, it was the ultimate thing to make her feel vulnerable –and that bothered her even more. 'And it's not just me now. These things happen and they affect you too, it's not fair on you to feel the need to make me feel better all the time.' Aram growled to himself under his breath as Samar said that. It bothered him that she could possibly think he would ever hold her past against her. He watched as Samar pulled away from him, lowering Leila back into her crib... Before taking her hand once again, and tugging her along back to the kitchen –and the notepad that usually lay around somewhere on the counter.  

Aram practically leaped for the notepad and pen, and hurriedly scribbled down what he now so desperately needed her to know;

' _What's not fair is that you're the one who has to go through all of this, while nothing like it ever really happens to me. Looking out for you doesn't bother me at all, I just wish I could feel like I properly understand what you're going through,_ ' Samar read off the page as he held it up for her to see. Within a nanosecond of her eyes scanning over the last word, she adamantly shook her head.  
'No,' she urged, the angry tears welling up in her eyes once more, 'you _don't_ need to hurt to be able to be there for me. You've more than got that covered already. I've been through... Hell, even Liz and Ressler have been through enough. You're the only one relatively unscathed, and I want you to stay that way.' The look on her face was fierce, but not angrily so. It was a fierce love; she didn't ever want him scarred like she was. If anything, just the idea of that possibly happening was one of the things that scared her the most now. Cases going wrong, injuries, even her own death were ideas that she was well used to by now, and Samar simply accepted their awful potential rather than being truly afraid of them. But, Aram or Leila going through the pain that she had, was something Samar never wanted to have to see. She wanted to protect them from that in all the ways that she never was or could be again. Aram's face crumpled in defeat as he scribbled one more thing on the notepad and held it up for her to see;  
' _Agree to disagree?_ ' Samar growled in mock exasperation as she read it, and Aram finally broke into a wry smile. Of course, he was going to worry sometimes that he wouldn't be able to help her through things well enough... But it was reassuring to know that Samar didn't have that same lack of faith in him that he had in himself. Finally Aram put the notepad back down on the counter, and tugged on her hand one more time when she didn't respond. No words were needed to know what he meant; they were both exhausted... After the events of the day, it was time for rest before they had to get back to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, onwards with the case, in 'Bleeding'. That chapter is so named for another Imagine Dragons song that was on the list I was listening to, 'Bleeding Out'. Give it a listen, if you like. 
> 
> Now, as promised... Mr Spikes!
> 
>  
> 
> [](https://www.flickr.com/gp/152300685@N03/7tY5F9)


	63. Bleeding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Wednesday, June 28, 2017.
> 
> Will they or won't they solve the case and catch the bad guy? Place your bets now, because you're about to find out!
> 
> Warning for canon-typical violence.

**_WEDNESDAY MORNING..._ **

The taskforce worked round the clock; some staying in the war room overnight, and the rest taking over from the morning onwards –the only overlap in the middle being to brief the incomers on what those going home had found the night before; which in Ressler's words, was 'not a hell of a lot.'  

Shahin and his lackeys were in the wind. Mossad was still unhelpfully trying to cover up its errors. Most of Ressler's hearing had returned –having not quite lost it fully in the first place- but lower notes or anything at a quiet volume still posed an issue. Samar could just hear louder noises again, while the rest was slowly coming back little bit by little bit as the hours passed.  

The clock was still ticking, but for how much longer remained a mystery.

They had no idea just how much time there would be between the first attack and the next. They were working blind while the entire rest of the city was on edge and still dealing with the aftermath of the restaurant explosion. Given the obvious problem with fieldwork, Ressler and Samar were both confined by Cooper to the war room unless absolutely necessary, while Levi and Liz took point in the field. Reddington meanwhile, had his own band of associates taking to anyone in the criminal underworld who could possibly have any link to the planned attack, with all the methods of questioning that the FBI couldn't use.  

The more Samar stared at all the files and evidence she was sifting through, the harder it was to focus. Not because she was blinded by love or hatred for her brother, but because she was so determined to finally bring him down and bring an end to his reign as one of Mossad's most hunted, that she was staring past things right under her nose. Aram had cleared all things unnecessary from his desk so that she could sit beside him, and so Ressler could sit opposite as they all worked, heads down, together. All at once, Aram was running facial recognition against all archived street camera footage in the city since the explosion, not just for Shahin, but for every known associate suspected to be in his current band of henchmen. On top of that, he was also running cell phone data from the restaurant area from that same moment, tracking any and all of the numbers that didn't belong to innocent civilians who had already been cleared of involvement, to see where across the city they had travelled to next. One by one, Aram was managing to eliminate certain numbers as the individuals they belonged to were cleared by the investigators doing follow up interviews of everyone from the scene and calling the results back in, but the process was slow. Hundreds of people had been in that stretch of the street and all its restaurants, cafes and shops -after all, it had been around dinner time- and those in the surrounding few blocks numbered far higher. Aram had all those coloured dots tracked live on a map of the city on his screen, and colour coded as well. Blue dots were phone numbers belonging to people already cleared. Green were those who were not yet cleared, but were likely to be –such as those who were on the scene because they worked in the surrounding area and at the very least, had no traceable connection to Shahin and his team. Orange were those yet to be cleared, and who were not necessarily deemed 'likely' to be cleared because there was not yet enough information on them, but who were also not counted as 'suspicious'. Red dots, of course, were unregistered burner phones and anything else suspicious.  

Aram filtered the facial recognition results as they came through, and continued to track and update the phone tracking as information changed. Finally, he was also going through the details in Samar's, Ressler's, Liz's and Levi's reports, to form an exact timeline of Shahin's movements through the restaurant and down the street, in the hope that he could use that data to pinpoint the one exact number that belonged to him. As both Ressler and Samar agreed; Shahin was probably changing phones on a regular basis to prevent being tracked by those exact methods so Aram's efforts may well turn out to be for nothing, but Aram didn't care. It was at least, worth a shot.  

But at the same time, it was going to take a _while_.

Ressler and Samar, meanwhile, were poring over witness statements for the umpteenth time, hoping beyond all hope that at some point, something would click, and a lead would be found. They didn't have much hope in the success of that particular strategy either.  

Samar gave a frustrated sigh, having just read the same few sentences over and over again about six times in her struggle to focus. She glanced up, slamming the file closed on the desk in front of her. Reading them over was getting her nowhere, and she had a better idea.  
'Aram,' she sighed again. Aram looked up warily in response. 'Tracking the phones currently might be worth a shot, but... Are you also able to trace archived data from the last few days and filter for patterns?' Ressler too, glanced up from his own file, his brow furrowed curiously at the idea.  
'Depends on the phone but yeah, I should be able to do that,' Aram said, nodding. His voice was slow and steady, and at a measured volume so that it was loud enough for Samar to just be able to hear him as her hearing slowly returned, but without being too loud and disturbing other agents around them. 'What do you want me to look for?'  
'Narrow it down to the numbers you've given red dots, and plot on the map where we know they _have_ been over the last, say...' Samar trailed off for a second, trying to determine just how regularly Shahin might have switched phones, and how far back Aram should track as a result. 'Three days,' she finally decided. Aram nodded again, quickly typing at his keyboard to bring up a new map, and plot the new data upon it.   
'Are you thinking...' Ressler began, before an expression of instant understanding crossed his face. 'If we see where clusters of them have been at the same time in the same place repeatedly, we could narrow down which of the numbers belong to Shahin's team as opposed to just those that we haven't cleared yet?'  
'That, and if those clusters are consistent enough, we might even get an address for somewhere they've been meeting, or a site they've been casing,' Samar said, quickly nodding.   
'It's going to take a little while to form solid patterns,' Aram observed, 'but I can start the search while the others are running.' His eyes darted away from his computer screen just long enough to shoot her a small smile, and he slid one hand under the desk to gently squeeze hers. 'Good idea.'

/*/*/*/*

**_WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON..._ **

Samar's familiarity with Shahin's tactics after having previously been on Mossad's team hunting down Hasaan for so long, did indeed work in their favour. The colourful dots on Aram's map tracking numbers currently changed as more people were cleared, but the real gem was the map tracking where the suspicious numbers had been previously –and then combining that data. The map of past data did indeed form one, very distinct pattern, and off the team went to an old warehouse that roughly seven of the numbers had frequented.  

Aram in the meantime, used that data to instantly narrow down the suspects on the map that was still live tracking. Keeping an eye on where just seven numbers were going was far easier than tracking the forty or so that he was yet to eliminate. By that point, four of the seven had been deactivated –likely because their owners had switched to new, unknown phones as Samar and Ressler had figured they would- but the other three still blinked red on the map, moving rapidly. From that, Aram simply assumed they were driving somewhere to escape.

Samar and Ressler waited outside the warehouse, ready to breach. They stood on the periphery of the large group of agents –Bureau and Mossad alike- who were braced to enter, and stayed side by side. Neither of them really should have been there –Samar in particular, given that by this point, she had only regained about seventy five percent of her hearing- but they both refused to stay behind and so Cooper had relented, agreeing that they could go _if_ they stayed together and towards the back of the group.

The group of agents swarmed the building, kicking through doors all the way around it, at every entry point they could find. The loud yells of clear from those nearer to her, echoed in Samar's ears.

Neither Shahin, nor any of his team were there. The building was empty.

Well, empty of people, anyway.

Samar allowed the weapon she had drawn upon breach, to fall by her side as she glanced around the warehouse in disbelief. There was no mistaking that it was where Shahin and his team had met and planned all kinds of things. Schematics for some dozen buildings lined the walls, alongside photos, and copious amount of notes; they were all at different stages of planning. As suspected by Mossad, Shahin and his team were planning well in advance, and well beyond the attack the taskforce was currently trying to stop.

The question then was; of the details spread all around the warehouse, which was the next attack plan to be put into action.  

The restaurant from the day before was still one of the buildings featured on the wall. Liz was on the phone, relaying the information back to Aram, trying to figure out what and where the other buildings were, and having Aram plot the addresses on his map to see if any of them matched up with where Shahin's team had been most recently. It was on speakerphone so that the rest of the team could hear, but with all the fuzziness, Samar could only make out every second word.

Back in the war room, the three flashing red dots on Aram's map continued to move steadily away from the warehouse. Other agents had already been sent in their direction to capture them, but Aram wasn't overly hopeful.  

'Hang on a second,' Samar said, staring at the wall. One set of schematics in particular had caught her eye –one that had no attached photo, but seemed awfully familiar. 'Liz, I think this is the building we're standing in.' Levi and Ressler both instantly looked up, and gazed over her shoulders at the information plastered all over the wall. Liz too, whipped around on the spot to look. Levi swore under his breath.

Samar took that to mean he agreed with her assessment.

'Mossad got it wrong,' Levi hissed. 'The second attack isn’t to be a major one because it's on an iconic building full of civilians, it's a major one because it'll hit all of _us_. Shahin lured us here. This is all a big distraction to have us standing here long enough.' Ressler barely even waited for Levi to finish his sentence.  
'Everyone get out, _now_ ,' he yelled.

It was chaos. Agents went running everywhere as fast as they could, and to the nearest exits they could find, spilling outside onto the surrounding streets.

There was ringing in Samar's ears again. Everyone yelling all at once made for an endless white noise and she couldn't separate any one voice from another. Her eyes battled to adjust to the sunlight as she suddenly tumbled through a door and found herself outside the building. She kept running for those few seconds more, disorientated by the chaos and confusion, until the ringing stopped and the blaring light made identifiable shapes again. The sound of sirens racing ever closer barely even registered in her mind, nor did the voice through the comms in her ear that said the bomb squad had arrived and was searching the building. Samar turned on the spot, breathing heavily and staring around... There was nobody familiar in sight, she had been separated from the rest of the team.  
'Samar,' a voice yelled from the distance. Ressler, also separated from everyone else, had rounded the corner at the opposite end of the street and spotted her... But the yell didn't register either. Samar's gaze panned around the street, Ressler being so familiar and not a concern that at first, Samar didn't even take in that he was there at all...

...Something else had caught her attention.  

Another body had darted past at the other end of the street, ducking from building to building for cover and almost entirely unspotted in Samar's disorientated state... _Almost_. But, Samar caught the flickering tails of backpack straps, and the corner of a heel as it crossed the end of the street.

She went sprinting. Ressler picked up his own pace behind her, desperate to follow.

Samar rounded the corner, staring up the alleyway ahead. The figure she was chasing was now all too clear... And all too familiar.

It was Shahin.

Samar continued to give chase, her heart pounding in her chest. She was faster than him –only just, but still enough to slowly close the gap if she could run long enough. The anger was bubbling up again in her gut; Shahin and his team had already killed so many of her former Mossad teammates when he raided the Georgetown safe house over a year earlier... And now with his trap in the warehouse, he had threatened to do exactly the same kind of thing all over _again_. Samar kept moving forwards, ever closer. She gasped in pain for a split second, grazing her arm on a pile of wooden shipping pallets as she brushed too close past them, but she didn't stop. Shahin was perhaps seven feet ahead now... And then, he stumbled. Shahin rounded another corner, pushing his way through a broken door to another disused warehouse, but he tumbled through the doorway. Samar pushed herself to move faster; those few seconds of Shahin's stumble could make all the difference.  

Shahin pushed himself forwards again, but Samar was catching up.  

The gap began to close. Shahin was growing tired. The voice of the bomb squad commander finally echoed in Samar’s ear, stating that the bomb in the warehouse had been found and deactivated.  

And that was her cue. Samar launched. She leapt forwards, her grazed, bleeding arm outstretched, tackling Shahin to the ground.  

'Stay _down,_ ' she gasped, as Shahin fought her grasp from behind him. Shahin rolled, trying to push her off and pin her down... But Samar leapt backwards, drawing her weapon instead and making him freeze on his knees.  
'Samar...' Shahin's voice cracked as he looked up and finally realised who had knocked him down. It took _everything_ Samar had, not to let any kind of emotion show on her face. She was so furious –the very fact that he thought he could even just say her name like that, as if he was going to start pleading with her _again_ , after everything he had done... That felt like a betrayal in itself. Samar was so angry, she was almost shaking. She was angry enough, that she wanted him dead... Just as she had once sought the deaths of those she had thought killed him.  

...And yet, no matter how much she tried to tell herself that he wasn't –that the man in front of her was Hasaan, not Shahin. That the two were entirely separate- Samar couldn't shake the idea that he was still her brother. She couldn't shake those memories from their childhood, those happy memories of the two of them together, before everything fell apart. She studied his face, gritting her teeth and staring bitterly back at him. The confused expression he bore only confused her too.  
'You're still here... In America?' He asked. Strangely, he almost sounded _surprised_.  
'Why wouldn't I be?' She shot back, without even thinking about it... And then it hit her why exactly he would ask such a question; 'it was _you_ ,' she gasped, no longer able to hide the fury from her voice. ' _You_ were the one who tried to have me transferred months ago? _Why?_ So I would be somewhere where it would be easier for you to _kill_ me?' Samar lunged forwards –to do what exactly, she didn't know. She also didn't care. All Samar wanted was her hands around his neck or perhaps her fists pummelling his face... But just as quickly, Ressler lunged too, wrapping his arms around her waist so tightly from behind that he nearly lifted her from the ground entirely –apparently, in the struggle, he had caught up.  
'Samar, _no_ ,' he urged her, pulling her back so sharply that only her toes dragged along the ground. 'Remember what you said to me after Maxwell... Think about Leila, you don't want to do this.' Angry tears rolled down Samar's cheeks as she pushed her arms against his, trying to break free... All the while remembering that very conversation she'd had with him after Maxwell, and those priorities that had been shaken by the thought of the world she was setting for Leila to grow up in. Samar fought against Ressler's grip, squirming and kicking out at the air,  but it wasn't hard for even Ressler to tell; her heart really wasn't in it. She fought for those few seconds, perhaps fifteen at the most, before giving up. Ressler waited just a few seconds more, for her arms to relax and her feet to reach back for the ground again, before he let go... But he remained lingering close to her all the same.  

In the struggle, neither of them even noticed the instantly piqued curiosity that crossed Shahin's face as he listened to them speak.

'Leila?' He asked, 'who is Leila?' Samar went deathly still as the question rang in her ears. She turned her head to face him again, so slowly and with such a measured, forced calm, it was almost frightening. Her teeth clenched together as she stared straight back at him, breathing heavily and utterly outraged that _he_ could ask about Leila. The anger churned in her gut, but so did the fear. If this was what Shahin could do to _her_ when he didn't know she had a daughter, Samar didn't even want to imagine what he could possibly do now that he _did_ have that knowledge.

Shahin's expression changed dramatically as he guessed the answer to his own question.   

'A child?' His voice was barely audible. They locked eyes, Samar determined not to confirm or deny his suspicions... Or put Leila in danger by revealing the truth. But the rage in her eyes gave it away and strangely, Shahin broke his gaze from hers, instead staring almost wistfully at the ground beneath his knees. An almost regretful air hung about him in fact, as his shoulders slumped and his head bowed. 'Samar, you have a child?' He mumbled again, even softer this time. Samar paused before responding, but not in hesitation. She took a breath, standing up straight, and looking down at him with the utmost disdain. She had already learned not to have any faith whatsoever in his seeming shamefulness. Shahin had already proved that he could turn on the tears on cue just to deceive her.   
'That changes nothing,' Samar uttered, her voice icy. Desperate to stay calm, she raised her weapon again from where it had fallen to her side, lifting her hand slowly to hold it to his head. She trembled all over as she did so, even more furious at herself for being so furious at _him_ and yet, still feeling unable to pull that trigger. It was all too easy to separate Shahin from Hasaan in her head or in conversation, but face to face was a completely different story. It was harder when those two personas shared that same face.... That face that she associated with all kinds of memories, just as many good memories as bad ones… That face, that she was now confronted with.

He was her brother. Samar didn't even want to imagine how their parents would feel about the standoff against her own conscience that she now found herself in.  

The conflict tore her into what felt like a million pieces inside.  

Ressler reached out with one hand, wanting to gently prompt her to lower the weapon, but he remained wary. Samar's teeth were gritted in frustration, but the tears still flowed. He knew she knew what he was thinking; Samar couldn't kill Shahin when he was there unarmed, on the ground in front of her. She was an agent, she was supposed to fight for things better than that... But no matter the doubt, no matter the fear, the conflict, or the trembling, Samar's weapon remained pointed and ready to fire...  
'Agent Navabi,' a familiar voice sounded from behind them all, ' _Samar._ '

Reddington. How he had managed to find them, Samar didn't know, nor did she care. Only that second time, where his voice was more urgent and yet somehow, still gentle and understanding, made Samar's gaze flicker over her shoulder for a split second.

'Don't force yourself to do this,' he murmured softly, one hand brushing against her shoulder as he stood by her other side. Now, Samar stood between him and Ressler –the two opposite extremes on the scale, with her wedged in the middle, contemplating every possible shade of grey between their black and white opposites. Samar's arm shook again, more visibly this time. Shahin's eyes remained directed firmly at the ground, silently awaiting the verdict. Slowly but surely, Reddington too, pulled his own weapon from his holster, raising it parallel with Samar's, and pointing at Shahin. 'Samar,' he prompted again, 'I'm not an agent.' Samar bit her lip, knowing exactly what he meant; Reddington didn't have any of the problems with shooting Shahin right there on the spot, that she did. None of the concerns that swirled around in her mind, registered in his consciousness for a second... _But she couldn't turn away now, could she?_ After everything that Shahin had done, all Samar wanted to do was to pull that trigger, _herself_. She hated the feeling that she couldn't. For once, she hated the feeling of being the mere human Aram continued to assure her that she was, as opposed to a ruthless, cold-hearted killer.  

After what felt like a bitter eternity, Samar lowered her weapon. It hung limply from her fingers in defeat, but she couldn't pull that trigger. If there was any one thing she had learned since joining the taskforce, it was that she was better than that.  

Reddington wasn't going to make the mistake of trading Shahin for information again, even Samar knew that.  

'Turn around,' he said gently, 'you don't want to see this.' But, Samar shook her head. Lowering her weapon was one thing, but if she couldn't be the one to do it, Samar wanted to at least see the life drain from Shahin's eyes this time... If not for what he had done to _her,_ then to know for sure that Leila at least, would be safe from him forever. She locked her gaze on Shahin so fiercely, that if looks alone could kill, she would have had her wish in that instant. She didn't even catch Reddington swap a quick, knowing glance with Ressler behind her back. 'Turn around,' he said, more firmly this time. 'Walk away.'  
'No,' Samar whispered back, her voice cracking as she said it.   
'Donald,' Reddington prompted... And before Samar even knew what was happening, Ressler pulled sharply on her arm, turning her around and leading her away. A shot rang out behind her just as she stopped fighting his grasp, as if Reddington was watching, and waiting for that very moment to fire.

Samar gasped out loud, flinching and freezing on the spot as the sound echoed in her ears... But she didn't turn back.  

Ressler's grip loosened on her arm, his own arm slipping gently, reassuringly around her shoulders as she grappled with the idea... To turn, or not to turn. Samar stood still, still conflicted inside. Bowing his own head for a moment, and recognising how difficult it was, Ressler glanced back over his own shoulder for a second.  
'He's gone,' he murmured in Samar's ear. Finally, she gave the tiniest nod of acknowledgement. Forcing herself to hold her head high and blink back the tears that were fighting to escape, Samar took a step forward... And then another, and then another, each tiny step was one further away from Shahin. Knowing that he was gone, that the only worries of him that she would ever have to deal with from now on were those of the past... Samar kept walking. Ressler kept his arm around her shoulders, guiding her away but now... He didn't really need to.

One tear fell loose from her eyelashes and rolled down her exhausted cheeks, but Samar didn't look back.

Shahin was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up; 'Forwards'... But forwards how? That is the question...


	64. Forwards

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Sunday, July 2, 2017.
> 
> Yep, this one's nearly a full 24 hours early; I've just moved house and have no internet at the new place, so I'm making the most a moment of free wifi so we don't go a week without a new chapter!
> 
> Just some shameless fluff thistime, after those last few intense chapters... Visual references for Leila's colourful outfit are at the end.

Leila yawned sleepily but happily in Samar's arms as she was carried across the grass at the local park, Aram by their collective side carrying the small picnic basket in one hand, and Samar's tattered, old soccer ball under the other arm. As per usual, Leila had fallen asleep during the midday drive after spending the night before at Ressler's –despite the fact that the drive itself wasn't overly long. All of three blocks from Ressler's building, and Leila, though wide awake and excitable when Samar had picked her up, was sound asleep. But once the car had parked upon arrival at the park, Samar had unbuckled her from her baby seat, and started walking across the grass, those twinkling eyes had snapped open once again.  

With her free hand, Samar waved across the park to Liz and Sammy –who had already arrived and spread a red picnic blanket across the grass- pressing a gentle kiss to the top of her sleepy, little girl's head as she did so. She was all too glad to have Leila back again; it had only been one night -as always- and Samar hadn't wanted to go so far as to take Ressler's time with Leila away from him, but after the last couple of difficult days and everything that had happened with Shahin... Samar felt much more relaxed having Leila close once more.  

Leila turned her head in response to the sounds of Liz and Sammy that grew in volume the closer they approached, waking up a little more with each second as she seemed to recognise the voices.  

'Hey,' a smile worked its way across Samar's face as she and Aram came to a stop by the edge of the blanket. Liz was sitting to one side, holding Sammy in a standing position beside so those tiny feet could grow used to being flat against the ground. Sammy had wrapped herself around Liz's upper arm in particular, looking up and giggling at all the silly faces Liz had been pulling just seconds earlier. All the while, Hudson dozed, stretched out in a patch of sunlit grass just behind them, his tail occasionally flickering against the ground in his puppy slumber.   
'Hey back,' Liz softly greeted her, shifting slightly on the spot to glance up at Samar and Aram from an angle where the sun wasn't blaring into her eyes. The weather was perfect for a picnic; the sun was shining and the bright blue sky had but a few small, white clouds drifting across like fraying shreds of cotton wool, but it wasn't too hot either. 'I thought I'd come along a little earlier to soak up the warmth...' Liz added. Her gaze lingered a little, and Samar's lip quirked up at the way Liz was trying to study her face without making it obvious. She could see straight through the feigned innocence from the overly casual air about Liz's voice. Since the chaos that was the case with Shahin, Liz had 'stopped by' Samar and Aram's apartment nearly every evening, and each time with equally vague reasons; in reality, it was just to be close –to keep an eye on Samar in the same way Samar kept an eye on her when she was upset- and it was for precisely that same reason that Liz had suggested a picnic now.

It wasn't hard to tell that Aram too, had understood immediately when the sudden knocks at the door had revealed Liz standing there somewhat sheepishly with Sammy in tow each time. There was an ever so slight contented crinkling around his eyes, and just a second too long of lingering about his gaze when he caught Samar's attention moments later.

It was their mutual agreement that they both understood, but nobody was going to mention it. That way, everyone could maintain their plausible deniability.  

Just how much Liz and Samar looked out for each other was one thing, but neither of them really wanted to make a big deal of it.

'Why not...' Samar murmured her agreement, gazing up at the flickering sunlight breaking through the gently swaying branches of the tree not far behind Liz. Her smile, though small and tentative, remained firmly in place; 'the weather's beautiful today.' She shifted on the spot, watching for a moment as Aram sat down, resting the ball by his side on the blanket, and then promptly unpacking the small basket. In turn, Samar lowered Leila down from her arms to the picnic blanket, leaning forward a little to hold her upright like Sammy was, and then shuffling forwards. Leila squealed in delight, not at all walking but rather, _sliding_ upright towards her friend. Samar came to a stop just with enough space for Leila to latch on to Liz's arm and stand, holding herself up next to Sammy. Leila giggled happily, first staring for a moment at Sammy, and then up to Liz.  
'That's a cute headband,' Liz spoke in the bright, up and down sort of voice that both little ones responded to, before dotting an affectionate kiss to the top of Leila's head. Samar pursed her lips in amusement at the observation as she turned and then sat down beside them. Aram too, glanced over to eye the purple headband Leila was wearing. The pink and white polka dotted leggings and the matching green 'snuggle-saurus' t-shirt with a smiling, pink and silver dinosaur printed on the front that Leila now wore, was exactly the outfit Samar had packed in the bag she took to Ressler's the morning before when they had dropped Leila off, but the headband hadn't been at all a familiar sight when they picked her up not long before arriving at the park. It was a bright purple, loosely crocheted elastic kind of headband, with a large half-fabric, half-plastic flower positioned just off to one side above Leila's right ear. 'Ressler?' Liz guessed.  
'Mmhmm,' Samar hummed back, rolling her eyes in mock-exasperation. 'Apparently he took her with him to the mall yesterday afternoon, and then he spotted it and couldn't resist.' She shifted her gaze from the headband back to Aram, suddenly breaking into a wry smile as she spoke again. 'Oh, and he also discovered the hard way that if he picks up Mr Spikes off the floor while he's sitting on the couch, Leila will now climb all over him non-stop until she gets her dinosaur back.'  
'Rookie mistake,' Aram chuckled, nodding sagely. 'One, don't take away the dinosaur. Two, _definitely_ don't take away the dinosaur now that she can move to try and tackle it back from you,' he added, reaching forwards to tousle Leila's hair. Liz meanwhile, was still curiously eyeing the headband.  
'It's a bit big,' Samar mused, following Liz's gaze. For one, Samar had never been a fan of fake flowers. They just weren't her thing. Secondly, the flower on that headband was nearly as large as Leila's entire face. Sure, maybe it was kind of cute, but Samar still preferred a style that was a little more subtle. Of course, then there was the fact that the green and pink –the latter being something Samar wasn't overly enthused about either, but that she was dealing with- outfit was already colourful enough without the mismatching touch of purple that seemed to clash... But that was another issue entirely.   
'It's not _so_ bad,' Liz laughed, before furrowing her brow thoughtfully again. 'I'm surprised Leila's still wearing it though. Sammy hates them.' Liz shot Samar a particularly dejected look and sighed; 'I bought a couple for her, but they only last about ten seconds before she pulls them straight off again. I should give them to you, to see if Leila would wear them. I'm pretty sure Sammy never will.' Liz paused, as a flash of alarm crossed Samar's face, and Liz burst out laughing. 'Don't worry,' she chuckled knowingly, 'they're not as wild as this one. One of them is even green.'

Samar rolled her eyes in mock exasperation again, warily eyeing that purple flower just above Leila's ear, and shaking her head.

' _Mama_ ,' Sammy interjected, bouncing lightly on the balls of her feet. Liz instantly glanced down, pulling another silly face at her little girl.   
'Ooh, sorry honey,' she said, instantly spotting the dilemma. Leila had already let go of the side of Liz's arm and lowered herself back down to the blanket. She now stared expectantly back at Sammy –who was still being held up around the middle by Liz, but was otherwise leaning sideways, reaching desperately for her friend. Liz lowered Sammy gently down again, and off she went crawling across the blanket after Leila happily once more. As if automatically sensing Sammy's movement further away from him, Hudson immediately snapped one eye open and watched from where he lay on the grass behind Liz.  
'Looks like Sammy has one word figured out now,' Aram observed, smiling widely across  at Liz. Liz beamed with pride, quickly nodding.   
'Yep,' she agreed, utterly content. 'I'm trying to teach her to say 'doggie' too, for Hudson... And as of yesterday, my record is officially expunged, and on Monday I'll be an agent again, and I can start sending off applications to adoption agencies too...' Liz had to stop herself to draw breath as the excited rambling fell into that one, long sentence. Aram couldn't help but grin back at how happy she was. 'It's progress,' Liz concluded, calmer this time.

The space between them fell awkwardly silent as Samar didn't respond in kind. Instead her gaze was firmly directed at Leila crawling around by her crossed feet. Samar's mind was wandering again, as it had on and off constantly since being faced with Shahin on Wednesday. Having Leila close again was a comfort, but also a worry. Shahin's odd reaction to the idea of her having a child still bothered Samar; it made her nervous and more protective than usual of her little girl, despite knowing that there was no possible way for Shahin to come back and use his knowledge of Leila's existence against her. It was irrational to a certain degree, and Samar knew that much... But still it didn't help. There was just something about the look Shahin had given her, the way his eyes had drifted not just miserably, but _wistfully,_ and the way that he had seemed to give up rather than keep fighting after that point. Samar had no idea what to make of it all, and _that_ was precisely what haunted her. Shahin's eerie silence once he no longer had a way out, and the hollow regret in his eyes, had lingered in Samar's dreams in every night following.  

It just didn't make sense. Shahin had gone so far as not just attacking civilians, but using that attack to lure out Samar and all her fellow agents in retaliation for being beaten when he had attacked them in Georgetown the first time as well... And then all of a sudden, as soon as he had known about Leila, Shahin had stopped fighting. Samar had assumed it was all a ploy, that Shahin had been trying to appear regretful in an attempt to convince her not to shoot him, but now she was wondering if that was really _all_ it was... Or whether there was more to it. In all that time Shahin had been free and on the run before she knew who he really was, had he kept track of her from a distance too? He could never have heard while he was imprisoned, that Leila was born, but had he known all along about little Shahin named after him? Or did the fact that the two of them had lost their own parents so young still resonate with Shahin to the point where taking Samar away from her child was the one line that he couldn't cross no matter how much they hated each other?

Samar tried to shake the thoughts from her mind; they made no difference now, and she prided herself on being more practical than that. Shahin was gone now, irrelevant of his motivations, and in most part –and given the circumstances- Samar was relieved. She had mourned his loss twice over already, so that didn't bother her nearly as much the third time... Instead, she was just glad to know for _sure_ this time that it really was all over. And yet, the questions still circled in her mind. All Samar could do was hope that perhaps, they would just slowly vanish with time. She glanced up, her eyes focusing once more on the present and finally registering that Aram and Liz were awaiting a response.  

'Sorry,' she muttered, letting out a small, apologetic smile. 'It's just that last moment with Shahin...' Samar added wearily as way of explanation, 'it's still bugging me.' The curious looks on both Aram's and Liz's faces faded to instant understanding. They both already knew how much Samar's mind had been wandering since that final encounter with Shahin. Aram's gaze flickered to the falcon tattoo on Samar's arm, visible and uncovered by her tank top, just as Samar's did the same... Just as it had done as repeatedly as her mind had wandered over the last few days.  
'Hey,' he murmured, nudging her foot across the blanket with his own to catch her attention. 'That's not for him now, remember?' He reminded her, 'that's for _little_ Shahin.' A small smile tugged at Samar's lips as she instantly recalled that whispered conversation had in the middle of the night on Liz's couch before Leila and Sammy were born.  
'I know,' she sighed. 'I'm wondering if I should add something to it... For Leila. Just to make it clearer. Some stars, maybe... Or some kind of night sky that the falcon is flying into. 'Leila' does mean night or darkness.' Liz and Aram both offered cautious smiles, but didn't object. So long as the idea helped Samar feel free of the burden that was all the conflicted memories of her brother, they weren't going to.

Regardless, Samar shrugged, trying to shake away the thoughts once and for all.  

'Ok, come on Leila ladybug,' she spoke up again. There was a notable determination in the forced brightness of her voice, and in the way she pursed her lips before stretching across the blanket towards Aram to bump the soccer ball towards her with the tips of her fingers. The point was easily made; Samar was still dealing with the events of earlier in the week, but she was determined to focus on other things. 'Let's roll this ball around.' In a flash, Samar jumped up from her position on the blanket, and leaned forwards to lift Leila _just_ high enough for her baby-sock clad feet to nestle into the grass. She shuffled forwards again, as she had regularly around the apartment since Leila had started trying to sideways shuffle around furniture while holding onto it, one foot and side forward in an exaggerated motion to move Leila's same side, then again for the other side, and then repeated over and over again. Aram couldn't help but chuckle to himself as he sat back and watched; it was a bizarre and yet, still comical sight to behold. Without even realising, Samar pulled faces with each silly sound she made to try and encourage Leila to walk herself forwards the same way she walked herself sideways while holding onto the couch. But, it was the old ball that really did the trick. The old soccer ball, one of the rare few things Samar had held onto since childhood and that normally sat tucked in one corner of the living room with its worn edges fraying at the seams until having recently caught Leila's attention, rolled forwards little bit by little bit as Leila's attempts to propel herself resulted in the ball being pushed away from her... And each time she tried to scramble forwards to reach it again. The smile on Samar's face became more relaxed, and more natural with each clumsy lurch forwards –Leila's innocent delight being nearly contagious. They continued like that, nearly halfway around the entire picnic blanket, when Liz decided to join in. She lifted Sammy up off the blanket to give chase in much the same fashion, and this time Aram burst fully into laughter. Both Samar and Liz picked up the pace, the game of pushing the soccer ball around with baby feet having now turned into something far more like friendly competition as they each tried to steer the ball in opposite directions around Aram and the picnic blanket -almost as if Aram himself was some kind of goalpost, covering his head with his arms as a sort of cover all the while. Hudson followed suit too, taking just two seconds of pause to roll around on his grass patch and scratch his back, before leaping up onto his paws and joining in the chaos, tangling himself around each and every pair of legs –adult and almost-toddler alike.  

...Until that inquisitive, waffly nose bumped the ball and sent it rolling just that little bit further away.

Leila let out a dejected wail, reaching forwards against Samar's steadying grasp in an effort to charge after the ball. Samar eased her grip, slowly letting go so that Leila could lower back to her hands and knees and crawl instead –after all, she would reach the ball faster that way.  

...But Leila didn't budge.

Samar let go, but Leila didn't drop back down to the grass. She wobbled back and forth on her feet but still... She stood. Samar did a double take, watching Leila in surprise, and suddenly hovering just behind to catch her if she fell. Feet an awkward shoulder width apart, legs bent ever so slightly at the knee, and face contorted into an expression that nearly rivalled her mother's in stubbornness, the little girl stood. Everyone's gaze was on Leila. Leila's gaze was fixated determinedly on her target; the ball that was just four feet ahead of her. A breath caught in Samar's throat as one tiny foot shuffled forwards, not lifting _entirely_ off the grass and stepping down again, but moving nonetheless.  

Even Hudson stopped scurrying around and tilted his head, watching as if almost wary of the unusual movement of one of his two precious charges.  

Another foot scuffed forwards across the grass. A third attempted step resulted in another wobble, and Samar lurched forwards, hands outstretched to catch Leila... But Leila steadied herself just in time. She wobbled on the spot again, lip now trembling dangerously too, as if both fearful and yet, still desperately wanting to reach the ball. Leila stood still a little longer, and Samar shuffled that one step closer to her again, ready to either catch her or scoop Leila up and calm her if the determination gave way to miserable defeat. The smile was even gone from Aram's face now; the laughter and amusement having been replaced with wary anticipation as he watched from the blanket. Sammy idled around Liz's legs, still being held upright but no longer chasing the ball. Hers were the only eyes not on Leila.

After what felt like an eternity, Leila allowed another foot to scuff forwards, without wobbling... And then a second, and then a third. She paused, turning her head to glance between the ball in front of her and Samar behind her, and suddenly breaking into a wide grin. Facing forwards again, Leila took another step –a steadier one this time.  

...And then she didn't stop.

Leila toddled on forwards, step after step, neither pausing at all nor looking back until she reached the old, fraying ball. Hands outstretched, and squealing in delight, she finally tumbled, barrelling over and rolling into the grass with the ball. Hudson lurched towards her, nuzzling his waffly nose gently against her cheek and making Leila giggle only more so. Finally, Samar dropped onto the grass beside them, then scooped Leila up and pulled her in close... With deep, proud sigh, and what was easily the most calm, genuine, and happy smile to have graced her face in days. Samar caught Liz's eye, just as Sammy began to push for freedom against Liz's grasp.  
'You want to try that too, Sammy?' Liz chuckled, glancing down at her little girl with a hint of amusement. She steadied Sammy on her feet, holding one tiny hand in each of hers, before slowly loosening her grasp.  

Sammy wobbled on the spot as Liz's fingertips finally released from hers.

She took one tentative step; far less steady than Leila's, but a step nonetheless... And then a second.  

And then with the third, Sammy tumbled. She tumbled down to the grass, back to her hands and knees.  

Regardless, Liz shrugged and swapped grins with Samar as Sammy continued crawling forwards without complaint. Leila had already resumed her usual clambering around Samar now that she was sitting in the grass. Hudson ran short, excited laps around them both, and Sammy made a beeline for all three. Aram and Liz watched on, wide smiles stretched ear to ear on both faces as they did so. The addition of Sammy, at last, to the crowd around Samar was the last straw. Samar collapsed backwards, sprawling into the grass on her back, now with two little munchkins and one rascal pup crawling all around and over her...

...And all she could do was laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up; 'Concessions'... Which turned out to be a little more Mehri and Naveed focused than I had anticipated when I planned it, but oh well. I'll just leave that tidbit hanging there, until next time :P
> 
> In the meantime, visual references!  
> [](https://www.flickr.com/gp/152300685@N03/Pin19R)


	65. Concessions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Friday-Saturday, July 14-15, 2017.

**_FRIDAY NIGHT..._ **

The peaceful silence of slumber broke to the shrill noise of Aram's ringing phone. Aram jumped, but didn't fully awaken at first. He groaned under his breath, rolling over with eyes still closed until he was on his back, contemplating who on earth would be calling at whatever ungodly hour it was. The movement of Samar beginning to stir next to him in response to the sound as well, was enough to convince Aram to open his eyes, and reach blindly across to the nightstand until that cool and familiar feel of plastic and metal was grasped between his fingers. Without even looking at the caller id, Aram pulled the phone to his ear to answer.  
'Hello?' He said groggily. Beside him, Samar opened one wary eye and glanced across him to the alarm clock, where those hauntingly bright green neon numbers read something almost too offensively early to process. She could hear the muffled voice from the other end of the line blaring non-stop into Aram's ear, but the specific words were as fuzzy as the still sleepy state of her brain. Whoever was speaking, they were in a hurry and they were anxious, and Aram didn't interrupt.  

And then he sat bolt upright.  

'I'm on my way,' Aram declared. There was a concerned edge to his voice that otherwise, would have been a successful attempt at a low volume to stop Samar from waking up any further. Aram hung up, but the phone remained tightly clutched in his hand as he suddenly pushed back the covers and leapt out of bed. He scurried across the floor that felt cold beneath his bare feet, pulling on over his boxers whatever clothes he could find scattered around the room. Samar remained observing with flickering eyes that were struggling to stay open.  
'What's going on?' She mumbled. If she had been any more awake, Samar might have noticed, or even pointed out that the navy blue t-shirt Aram had just pulled over his head was in fact, inside out, but for the moment that was far from the highest priority. Even Aram, though now wide awake, didn't notice the shirt seams sticking out as he pulled a zip-up hoodie over the top. His mind too, was otherwise occupied.  
'Parents,' Aram muttered in response, shoving his phone into his jeans pocket and then scanning the room, searching for socks in the darkness. His panicked, heightened state of alert did little to work well with his usual struggle to function normally when tired. Samar tried to rub the sleep from her eyes and sit up, but Aram shook his head adamantly. 'Stay here,' he whispered, taking a breath in an effort to calm himself. 'We don't need to take Leila out and wake her up too. Go back to sleep.' Samar furrowed her brow and opened her mouth to protest, but Aram ducked around the room, pecked a kiss to her cheek, and then darted out the door before a single word could make its way out. Samar heard the jingle of keys being picked up as Aram headed down the hallway, followed just seconds later by the front door opening, closing and locking again. She blinked a few times, still trying to process the entire scene that had just unfolded before her... But the struggle to keep her eyes open won out, and they fell closed once more.

/*/*/*/*

**_SATURDAY MORNING..._ **

Samar hurried all the way along the hospital corridor with Leila in her arms until she reached the nurses station for the ward. All she had awoken to was a text from Aram sent not long after his mysterious departure, saying that he was on his way to the hospital with his parents, and that he would probably be there a while. Samar had responded in concern, asking for details, but no other messages came through. Aram also hadn't answered any calls. And so Samar had hurried through the usual morning routine with Leila, hurried to the car, and now hurried through the hospital, looking for them.  
'Can I help you?' Asked the man at the desk.  
'Uh, I'm looking for a patient,' Samar explained, her eyes darting around the ward, still absentmindedly searching for Aram. 'Could you tell me what room they're in?'  
'Last name?' The attendant asked again, nodding this time.  
'Mojtabai.' Samar shifted on the spot, waiting as the attendant typed away at his keyboard.  
'First name?'  
'Naveed.' The attendant glanced up from his computer, looking back at Samar with one raised eyebrow.  
'There's no Naveed Mojtabai listed as a current inpatient anywhere in the system,' he informed her. Samar did a double take.   
'Mehri, then?' She asked curiously, and suddenly even more concerned. It occurred to her as she thought about it, that though Naveed had been the automatic assumption given his recent surgery, Aram hadn't actually specified _which_ parent he had rushed to the ER overnight... The attendant paused for a moment, eyeing Samar suspiciously, but typed in Mehri's name all the same.   
'Room twenty seven,' he read off the screen.  
'Thank you,' Samar uttered, immediately turning on her heels and searching for the room in question.  

Samar took a breath before knocking lightly on the half-ajar door and poking her head into the room. She had no idea what she was really expecting to find when she looked inside, and that left her feeling strangely unsettled. It was only then, on one side of the hospital room door and faced with the potential of finding something devastating on the other side, that Samar was also faced with the realisation of just how attached she had become to Aram's family over the last year.  

From the initial doubts and the need to adjust, Samar had become so used to their presence in her life... Seeing flashes of her own parents in them, and finding a certain comfort in their open affection towards both her and Leila... There was no doubt in her mind whatsoever that they had become her family too, just as Liz and Sammy had.

With that in mind, and with the lingering family-related frustrations over Shahin's betrayal too, Samar hated the idea of having to brace herself for the idea that Mehri –the closest thing she had left to any kind of mother of her own- could possibly be sick to the point of requiring serious medical attention. That was, without question, the _last_ thing the wanted to have to face at the moment.   

Samar pushed open the door, and stepped into the room. Neither Aram nor Naveed looked up to meet her gaze from their seats by Mehri's bedside. Samar took another deep breath as she looked around the room, both confused and tentatively relieved. Mehri's face was ashen pale, and her usual bright smile was contorted into something far more miserable as she seemed to be sleeping. But, besides a drip in her arm, there was little in the room that gave the impression of anything _too_ serious. Aram and Naveed both sat by her side, their backs to the doorway Samar was standing in, alternating between staring miserably at Mehri and staring down at the linoleum floor. They both looked utterly exhausted, and Samar doubted that either of them had allowed themselves any sleep at all. Naveed in particular seemed to be fighting the urge to nod off but regardless, he maintained his grip around Mehri's hand, absentmindedly stroking the back of it with his thumb.  

Samar also doubted that Naveed had let go at any point since having taken Mehri's hand to start with.  

Samar took a few steps further into the room, resting her free hand gently against the back of Aram's shoulder. Finally, Aram looked up, his attention jolted from his mind's anxious wanderings.   
'Hey,' he mumbled, letting out a small, weary smile. 'When did you get here?'  
'Just now,' Samar murmured back. 'You weren't answering your phone and I was worried, so I just drove over.'  
'Oh, yeah...' Aram trailed off for a moment, 'I left it on the kitchen counter at their apartment after I texted you to say we were coming here, and I forgot to pick it up again.' Aram let out a sigh, casting his gaze back to Mehri for a moment as he anxiously rubbed his temple. Samar bit her lip; if nothing else was a good indicator of just how worried Aram had been the night before, leaving behind his precious cell phone surely was... And equally indicative, was the way Naveed was so intent in his own anxious thoughts and refusal to leave his seat, to the point where his eyes were glazed over, as if he wasn't really hearing any of the conversation happening right next to him at all.   
'Everything ok?' Samar asked cautiously.  
'She has a chest infection,' Aram sighed in response. 'She thought she just had that cold over the last few days, then she woke up last night short of breath and feeling tight in the chest.' Aram paused for a moment, shaking his head. 'And with one arm out of action, Dad couldn't help her sit up to breathe. We thought she was having a heart attack.' Samar's brow furrowed in concern. She wasn't really surprised that a heart attack had been Aram's first worry, especially given his momentary anxiety over the idea after Ressler's mother passed earlier in the year... And frankly, Samar was nervous too. Though not as nervous as she had been before walking into the room and seeing Mehri for herself, there remained the lingering sensation of winding down the worry.  
'But she's going to be alright?' Samar pushed again.   
'Yeah...' Aram nodded slowly. 'They're just giving her some antibiotics and letting her sleep. She can go home tomorrow morning.' Samar paused, taking a breath and allowing that information to sink in. An unexpected and overwhelming sense of relief washed over her, finally settling the churning in her gut that had accompanied her all the way until stepping through the doorway to Mehri's hospital room. She turned her gaze to study the weary expression on Aram's face more intently.   
'...Are _you_ ok?' She asked, her voice gentler this time. She knew that look on his face, just as she knew the hesitation that followed it as soon as she asked the question. Aram had been scared; though knowing rationally now that his mother was going to be just fine, it took longer than that to ease the intense feeling of having been so fearful. Just like Naveed, Aram was still shaken by that visual of Mehri struggling to sit up and breathe.  

And what made it worse, was yet another thing Samar already knew all too well; despite Mehri's constant state of fussing over everyone else, and her age and tiny stature supposedly putting her at greater risk of some of the usual, seasonal bugs, she rarely ever fell ill. Aram couldn’t even remember the last time Mehri was sick.  

'I'll be fine,' he muttered. His eyes flickered back and forth between Naveed still staring miserably into space, and Samar watching them both in concern. 'Not so sure about Dad, though.'   

/*/*/*/*      

**_SUNDAY..._ **

As predicted, Mehri was allowed to leave the hospital the following morning. Her wheezing had eased as the antibiotics had started to kick in, but still she was exhausted. It was easily the quietest Samar had ever seen Mehri; small, weary smiles were managed, but she wasn't her usual, non-stop talkative self at all.  Naveed had barely left her side, hovering and trying to take care of her as best he could, but struggling. Just making her a sandwich for lunch was difficult with one arm still in his sling, but Naveed was determined. For all his gruffness, and all his usual eye-rolling at Mehri's fussing, Naveed had his own special brand of fussing; ensuring Mehri had absolutely everything and anything she needed, the _second_ she needed it. Glasses of water were handed over not with Mehri's style of ' _here, dear. Drink this and you'll feel better_ ' but rather, ' _here, drink it_ ' and an anxious, stubborn frown. Regardless, Mehri didn't seem to mind. Each time, it prompted one of those weary smiles; she knew him well enough to know the intent was sincere. Naveed wasn't the typical, sweet caretaker type, but as she constantly observed; he was soft and squishy on the inside. Just the sight of her sick made him upset, and desperate to make sure she was ok.  

Really, if it weren't for the fact that she was so sleepy, Mehri would have even been amused by his gruff attempts.

Eventually Mehri had settled on the couch, and convinced Naveed to stop anxiously hovering and sit with her instead. He had wrapped his good arm around her, and she had tucked herself against his side with her head against his shoulder, and finally, Mehri fell asleep. Naveed had refused to move from then on, insisting that he didn’t want to wake her. Instead, he held her close, pressing the occasional soft kiss to the top of her head.

It wasn't hard to tell; Naveed was still shaken by the fear that had taken over when they had both woken up in the middle of the night.  

Aram, meanwhile, was also still shaken, but otherwise eager to stay out of his father's stubborn way. Instead, while Naveed took care of Mehri, Aram took care of Naveed; making sure the sling wasn't tugged off in frustration and that Mehri wasn't the only one reminded to eat lunch. Samar in turn, watched over all three, and Leila too. Leila toddled around the living room, steadier on her feet with each day since starting to walk. She too, was a little on the quiet side, unsurprisingly sensing the stress and tiredness of all the adults in the room. Nonetheless, she toddled back and forth amongst them all, Mr Spikes clutched tightly by the tail in one hand.

When she finally stopped and sat herself down on the floor by Naveed's feet, it was  quite possibly the only thing to make him crack even the slightest of smiles.  

'Thank you,' Naveed murmured, shifting his gaze upwards to Aram just for that split second, before watching Leila playing by his feet again. She was smiling her wide, gummy smile back up at him, completely unperturbed by the gruffness reserved for everyone _but_ her and Sammy... And of course, Mehri.  
'What for?' Aram asked quietly.  
'For helping...'  
'You don't have to thank me for that, Dad,' Aram said, shaking his head. 'I was scared too.' Sitting slightly off to Aram’s side, Samar rested her hand along his arm as he said it, sliding her hand down towards his until their fingers interlocked and hers gently squeezed his. The faint lines around Naveed's mouth tipped even further downwards as he reflected.  
'If we had been in Delaware and you weren't so close, it might have been different,' he sighed. Aram bowed his head, and Samar bit her lip. That very thought had crossed both of their minds as well; for as young as Mehri and Naveed remained in mind and spirit, their bodies were starting to fall behind, and that sudden jolt of reality was part of why Naveed was so miserable. 'I think when she wakes up, we might have to talk about looking at some of these apartments in DC more seriously,' he added, finally meeting Aram's eyes again. Aram raised one eyebrow in surprise, having not expected Naveed to relent on that particular issue any time soon... But though the older man seemed reluctant, he was just as determined to do the right thing by Mehri. First and foremost, she was a priority that ranked higher than his pride.  

Naveed glanced down to Leila again as she pulled herself up to standing while holding onto his knee. He smiled softly, chucking her on the chin and using the limited reach of his other arm to take Mr Spikes in hand and dance the fuzzy dinosaur around in the air in front of her for a moment. Leila let out a sudden squeal of laughter, batting at the air with her tiny fists to try and catch her favourite toy.  

Mehri began to stir in response to the noise, and her eyes slowly fluttered open.

'Did you refuse to move?' She asked, letting out a sleepy yawn as she did so. She gently patted the arm Naveed still had around her, shifting her head on his shoulder to stare up at him.  
'Of course,' Naveed grumbled, but shot her a small smile all the same. Mehri chuckled softly at the sheer indignation on his face. 'Are you feeling better?'  
'A little.' Mehri nestled her head back against Naveed's shoulder, shifting her gaze to glance across the room at Aram, and furrowing her brow in concern. 'Aram, did you make sure he remembered to eat while he was being stubborn?'  
'Stop trying to look after us while we're trying to look after you,' Naveed growled under his breath, albeit gently, and before Aram could respond. Aram however, quickly nodded –both in response to the question, and in agreement with his father.   
'For all your complaints about my fussing, I think you two worry more than I do,' Mehri mused softly. Her gaze shifted in turn, this time from Aram over to Samar, still observing them rest of them quietly. Mehri caught her eye, giving her a knowing look, and Samar's lip twitched in response. She certainly knew that Aram was a worrier, at least.   
'I kept an eye on them for you,' Samar murmured back. In all honesty she was concerned too, but Aram and Naveed were naturally more so. They needed a calming voice, and Samar was more inclined to look after all of them collectively, and with less fuss. Mehri shot her a small smile, one of both amusement and appreciation, and the room fell quiet for a moment.

'Mehri,' Naveed began cautiously, breaking the silence.   
'Mmmm?'  
'I think it's time...' He trailed off for a moment, sighing reluctantly. He didn't want to admit it, but he knew it needed to be said; 'I've only got a week or so left in this sling, and then Sammy's birthday is less than a week after that... Maybe we should stay a while longer here.' He had held onto Delaware as long as he could. Together, they had left behind everything, and everyone they cared about when they fled with precious little to what was then a strange, new country, just to be together despite their difference in faiths. That love remained fiercely strong. It was time to concede that perhaps, Mehri was right. Moving and leaving behind that old house would be difficult, but Naveed had known it had to happen eventually and perhaps now... It was time.

Mehri paused, quietly contemplating that idea. Her eyes widened a little with surprise, but only pleasantly so. She reached across with one hand to gently rest it against his cheek, leaning her head adoringly against him. Finally, she looked up again, smiling warmly.

'Only if you're sure,' she said softly, questioning gently with her eyes if he really wanted to do what he was suggesting. Naveed instantly broke into his usual stubborn scowl in response, and Mehri pressed a knowing kiss to his cheek as she chuckled; 'that's the spirit, dear.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, 'Firsts'... And if you've been keeping any kind of eye on the timeline dates, that title should be a clue as to what it is. :D


	66. Firsts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Thursday, July 27, 2017.

_'This is_ not _a good idea,' Aram sighed. He shook his head where he stood by Samar's side in the middle of aisle four in the toy store, grimacing at the latest suggestion that had her smirking all too gleefully._  
_'I think it's a great idea,' Samar quipped._  
_'Liz is going to_ hate _that.'_  
_'It's educational. And Sammy will love it.' Aram pulled another face, knowing that both those arguments were all too true. 'Besides, isn't it the duty of extended relatives to give the kids all the really fun things that their parents won't, just because they're noisy or messy?' Aram shot her a look. Samar really did appear amused by the notion... And, she was very deliberately avoiding meeting his gaze and instead, was focused in utter determination on her chosen target._  
_'Of all the walker toys, does it really have to be_ this _one?' Aram asked, despite knowing better._  
_'Yes.' There it was; the short but sweet, voice of adamant mischief making._  
_'Ok then,' Aram relented, holding back a chuckle. 'I'll be putting it on the record that I had no hand in this.' Samar outstretched her arms, pulling down one of the boxes from the shelf. Aram shook his head again, this time rolling his eyes in mock exasperation too._

_He couldn't wait to see what Liz did in retaliation, given the time of year... But clearly, that thought hadn't yet crossed Samar's mind._  

_..And Aram was_ not _about to point it out._

/*/*/*/*

'Oomph.' Liz stopped herself from stumbling as Sammy ran into her legs and grabbed onto them... But only just. In the time since watching Leila take her own first steps and then trying to do the same, Sammy had indeed reached the same milestone. Now she toddled around the apartment after Liz eagerly, almost too fast at times to be able to stop herself properly. This evening in particular, she had already crashed into Liz some half a dozen times... But that may have had something to do with the fact that Liz too, was running around the small apartment more than usual since returning home from work earlier that afternoon.

It was a special day, one for which Liz had spared no effort.

Multicoloured streamers were hung around the walls. Matching balloons, much to Sammy's delight and Hudson's terror, were scattered all around the living room floor. Liz had even made a point of preparing Sammy's favourite breakfast  –yoghurt and banana with a touch of honey drizzled over the top seeing as it was a special occasion- before hurrying off to work in the morning. Liz scooped her daughter up from the floor and into her arms, her face beaming with warm pride.  

Sammy might not have had any grasp of the significance of the day, but Liz sure did.  

It was Sammy's first birthday.

_The first of the firsts_.

'Try not to knock yourself out before everyone gets here, baby girl,' Liz mused, dotting Sammy's face with kisses all over. It felt so surreal, being able to say that her daughter was officially one year old. Sammy had grown so much in the twelve months since she was born, learned so many things, and had well and truly begun to show her own unique personality. Liz was beyond proud... And not just of Sammy. If Liz was being entirely honest with herself, it was just as much a milestone for herself as well. She had made it a whole year of raising Sammy on her own... And she had pushed herself through all the worst moments where at the time Liz had felt like she would never be able to do it. _But, she had_. Liz dotted a few more kisses to Sammy's cheeks, making silly noises all the while as she did so. Sammy cackled with delight in response, and even more so again as Liz began to dance with her around the living room, around the couch and around the balloons, swaying in time with the music from the stereo.  

A knock at the door was the cue to stop, and for Liz to pull one more silly face at Sammy.

'Here we go,' she chirped. Sammy's bright blue eyes stared back attentively in response to her mother's voice. 'People are here. Are you ready, Sammy?' Liz chuckled to herself, crossing the living room, ducking down the hall and opening up the front door. Reddington and Mr Kaplan both stood there, smiling patiently. Liz moved to one side, allowing them to step inside. With a proud smile, Reddington took Sammy into his arms as he went past. Sammy simply bounced herself contently in his arms, happy to see a familiar face.  
'Lala,' Sammy babbled, staring expectantly up at Reddington. Reddington furrowed his brow in confusion.  
'Lala?' He repeated questioningly, and glancing back at Liz, still behind him after closing the door.   
'She started up with that one yesterday and she's been saying it ever since,' Liz observed, shrugging. She gestured for him and Mr Kaplan to continue onwards to the living room, and they did so.  
'Are we the first ones here?' Mr Kaplan asked curiously, glancing around the living room. If the look of sweet amusement on her face was anything to go by, she seemed to approve of Liz's decorating.  
'Samar, Aram, his parents, Ressler and Cooper are all on their way,' Liz answered, nodding. 'They should be here soon.' Reddington shot Mr Kaplan an approving look of his own; ever since the idea had popped into mind over Christmas, he had been itching to introduce her and Mehri to one another. Finally, he would have the chance. Mr Kaplan outstretched her arms to take Sammy from Reddington –clearly having decided that it was her turn now for a birthday cuddle- and the little girl went to her just as gladly.   
'Elizabeth, I do wish you had let me organise the dinner,' Reddington sighed, as he allowed his hands to fall by his sides once more. 'I know a wonderful chef over in Toronto whose cooking I could have flown over in my jet. He makes a wonderf-'  
'-It's ok, thank you,' Liz cut him off, albeit gently. With all her determination to be able to care for Sammy on her own, Liz had bristled at the idea of Reddington paying for and organising some strange, impersonal caterer... And for that particularly special day, of all the possibilities. Not to mention, she and Red were still on fragile ground –though less so than it had been when he had first told her what happened to Tom, considering subsequent events. Liz had after all, now sent off applications to some half a dozen adoption agencies in the area, and was eagerly awaiting return calls for interviews. She was happier to keep working with Reddington now too, but she still wanted to maintain a certain degree of her own independence from him, and not feel as reliant on his resources as she once had. On that note, Liz knew Red wanted to set up a college fund for Sammy, and probably already had by now... But to his credit he hadn't said anything. He seemed to have finally understood that she didn't want to know, for if Liz knew for sure, she couldn't pretend that she didn't. It was a difficult, complicated, and somewhat irrational determination Liz had to reduce the meddling in her and Sammy's lives by Reddington in particular, even though if Mr Kaplan had made the same offer, Liz probably wouldn't have bristled anywhere near as much.  

'Mehri insisted that she do the cooking,' Liz added softly. Reddington shot her a curious look, but decided not to argue any further. In part, Liz was glad; if anyone besides her had to prepare the dinner, she was far less reluctant for it to be Mehri. For one, it felt more personal to have Sammy's equivalent to a grandmotherly figure take on that particular task, than Reddington's strange caterer friend. Secondly, Mehri understood exactly what it was Liz wanted for the dinner, and didn't question it or suggest anything fancier as Reddington might have done. All Liz wanted, seeing as it was a first birthday –which was to say, it was celebrating the birthday of her little girl, but mostly a party for adults considering that the munchkins in question really had no idea what was going on- was food that would suit the full age range, and that could be eaten in a far more casual setting where everyone could interact and the kids could play. And thirdly... Mehri's chest infection had finally cleared up, Naveed was allowed to take off his sling, and they had only a few days left in town before they returned to Delaware and had to prepare to move. They had desperately wanted something productive to do besides looking at more apartments, and so Mehri had asked if she and Naveed could spend the day cooking up a storm while the rest of them were all at work. After a half hearted protest saying that she really didn't have to do that, and Mehri's subsequent and adamant protest that she _wanted_ to do it, Liz had given in.  

It probably helped that if anyone besides Liz, and Reddington's caterer had to do the cooking, Reddington would be least offended by that person being Mehri.

A second knock at the door brought a prompt end to the topic of discussion, as Liz went hurrying back to the front door, and Red and Mr Kaplan glanced down the hall, expectantly awaiting her return.

As soon as the door opened, the noise of excitable conversation sailed through the air and down the hallway into the living room. Sammy swivelled around in Mr Kaplan's arms, searching for the source of the sound that was a jumble of familiar voices. Samar, Aram, Leila, Mehri and Naveed had all come together, but Ressler, Cooper and Charlene seemed to have met them at the bottom of the stairs and walked up as part of one large crowd. Their simultaneous fussing over Sammy all at once as they rounded the hallway corner and stepped into the living room en masse was a bit much; Sammy was practically _beside_ herself with excitement at seeing all her favourite people. Everyone had to give her their fair share of doting birthday kisses and cuddles, and so she quickly made the rounds of the room, being passed from person to person. It mattered little that she had seen at least half of them already that day, when Liz had arrived at the Post Office and dropped her bag in her office before taking Sammy downstairs. Now that it was Sammy's actual birthday _party_ , everyone had to plaster her with affection all over again...

...Not that Sammy seemed to have _any_ kind of problem with all the attention.  

'Lalaaa,' she burbled again, quite happily.  
'New word?' Aram mused, dotting a kiss to Sammy's cheek, and shifting his gaze back to Liz. Samar lowered Leila to the wooden floorboards so that she could toddle around, then took Sammy from Aram.   
'Mmhmm,' Liz hummed. 'I haven't figured out what it means yet, though.' Liz moved to take Sammy back from Samar, but Sammy had other ideas. She squirmed in Samar's arms, wanting to join Leila in toddling around everyone's legs instead. 'Alright honey, there you go,' Liz murmured, putting her down instead. Within seconds, Sammy made a beeline for Leila. She'd had all the attention from everyone else in the room, and now she wanted to play.   
' _Lala_ ,' Sammy repeated, more emphatically this time. Aram turned, watching the over-excited toddler with one curiously raised eyebrow.  
'Is she trying to say... _Leila?'_ He asked suddenly. Liz's eyes widened in surprise and realisation. Finally, Sammy reached Leila, stopping just in front of her. They stood face to face, Sammy just that little bit taller, and both of them smiling their wide, gummy smiles. And then, Sammy voiced her new word again –this time, with a high pitched squeal.  
' _Laalaaaaaa!'_ Leila burst out giggling in response to the squeal. She turned and toddled off around the room again, Sammy quick on her heels. Samar, Liz, and Aram swapped amused glances, and even Naveed and Reddington let out laughs. Every set of eyes in the room was now on the two little ones... Sammy and Leila continued to toddle after one another, the combination of the balloons on the floor and the ten sets of legs apparently being a great obstacle course for them.   
'I would guess so,' Samar mused, nodding to Aram's question.  

/*/*/*/*

Dinner didn't last long. It was unanimous; Mehri's cooking was delicious... And with everyone hungry after a long day, there were no leftovers. Mehri, needless to say, was quite delighted to see everyone sinking back into the couch, armchairs, and the dining chairs Liz had dragged over from the table so everyone had a place to sit, too. They were all full to the brim, and quite contentedly so. Now they sat, chatting happily while Sammy and Leila played between them all. As predicted by Reddington, Mehri and Mr Kaplan did get along well. Mehri, never one to be squeamish, was utterly fascinated by Mr Kaplan's work, and the two of them animatedly exchanged all kinds of stories comparing things they had each seen and done over the course of their respective careers; Mr Kaplan, as Reddington's clean up specialist, and Mehri as a nurse who had primarily worked in the fields of emergency and trauma. Naveed meanwhile, being mildly horrified by the discussion happening right next to him, tried desperately not to listen... And while still suspicious of Reddington too, Naveed instead focused on discussing with Ressler the highs and lows of the outdoors and small town living.

Time was needed for the main course to go down before Mehri could break out the beautiful cake she had made too... And that meant one thing as the conversations all wore on; it was time to unwrap presents.

Liz moved to sitting on the floor, leaning back against the edge of the couch between Samar and Mehri. She nestled Sammy on her lap, wrapping her arms around and out in front of the little girl to help her tear apart the wrapping paper. Sammy of course, was more interested in the bright coloured shreds of paper being flung around in the air –and Leila too, for that matter- but nobody really minded that. They were all far too happy simply watching Sammy enjoy her special day.  

From Ressler, Sammy was presented with a matching set of fairy wings, a pink tutu, a princess tiara, and collector's set of a series of fairy princess picture books. He seemed all too amused by the idea, and Liz couldn't help but laugh as the wrapping paper fell away and she saw the contents. The tiara was immediately placed atop Sammy's blonde waves... It didn't last long before she tugged it off again just as she did with headbands, but Sammy did reach out excitedly at the sight of the sparkly, pink fabric of the wings and tutu. From Cooper and Charlene, Sammy received a purple and silver, stuffed unicorn that was _easily_ bigger than she was... And from Mehri and Naveed; a set of colourful, wooden building blocks, carved and painted by Naveed himself. Naveed even let out one of his rare, affectionate smiles as Sammy reached for and plucked an orange block from the matching wooden box he had set them all in, and began waving it around excitedly.  

Next, Mr Kaplan gently passed across a gift wrapped in pink and purple swirls, and tied with silver ribbon. Inside was a book that had Liz's eyes crinkling and a nostalgic smile etching its way across her face; it was an all in one, treasury of Beatrix Potter stories with the tales of Peter Rabbit and of course, all his friends. They were stories that Liz herself had loved as a child and then since forgotten in the passing of time... Until they were handed back to her now. She couldn't wait to read them all to Sammy. Then, from Reddington... A gift that he had left in the hallway by the front door upon arrival due to its size. Liz had noticed its presence but without really taking it in. She had been too otherwise preoccupied with fielding everyone inside, making them comfortable and generally chatting. But now, Reddington rose from his seat on the couch, strode slowly but purposefully as he always did, into the hall and back again... And when he returned, it was hard not to know from the shape what was inside the paper. Reddington settled it on the floor just in front of Liz and Sammy, before resuming his seat. Liz held his gaze for a moment, wondering... Sammy's attempts to tear at the paper jolted her attention away and back to the task at hand, and inside under the wrappings was a small, toddler-sized rocking horse.  

A rocking horse, that to Liz looked startlingly familiar... It looked just like the one she'd had and outgrown before being torn away from her family when she was four. One, that she was sure had burned in that fire.

A breath caught in Liz's throat as she ran her hand along the polished wooden frame, the memories coming flooding back.  
'It's not the same one,' Reddington said softly, almost as if knowing exactly what was going through her mind. Liz looked up again, staring back at him curiously. 'It's a copy I had made for Sammy,' he added. 'I remember how much you loved yours, and I know it's still too big for her, but it seemed right for her first birthday to give her something you can both treasure.' Liz nodded slowly, appreciatively... Taking it all in.   
'Thank you,' she said, and smiling warmly.  

Finally, and with a wry smile, Samar handed over a large, rectangular parcel, wrapped in white wrapping paper with multicoloured swirls and polka dots... Almost as if the gift had been splattered with confetti. Liz studied the expressions on both Samar and Aram's faces with a hint of amusement as she curiously took the gift from Samar's hands; Samar, once again making an attempt at her terrible, all too innocent face, and Aram both hesitant and tentatively curious... Shifting awkwardly in his seat as if he couldn't watch but yet, couldn't tear his eyes away from what was about to happen. Liz placed the gift on her knees in front of Sammy, and guided her hands along the paper to pull it apart.  
'What is...' Liz began, peeking through the edge of the torn paper at the contents within.   
'Uh, for the record,' Aram hurriedly piped up, 'I had no hand in this-' Samar shot him a look of mock-exasperation, just as the paper finally fell away in its entirety... And Liz turned around on the spot to stare up at Samar, torn somewhere between horror, and desperately trying not to laugh.  
'-It's a walker,' Samar explained, quite simply. 'You suggested that when I asked for present ideas.' She and Liz swapped wordless, mischievous glances. At the time Samar had asked her, Liz had been referring to the quiet, wooden style of push along walker wagon that carried blocks... And Samar knew that. But, Samar also knew that all of Sammy's most favourite toys thus far, the ones she always reached for and from which she learned the most, were the ones that made music or other kinds of noises. Noises, that drove Liz _crazy_ , because Sammy would set them off _repeatedly_... And the walker in the picture on the box in front of Liz now, was colourful, covered in push-buttons, slider panels, flap doors that opened and closed, and even a toy phone on a hook. According to the label on the box, not only did it contain a wagon tray underneath to carry along blocks and other toys, but it supposedly taught animals, numbers, shapes, and colours, all with music and other delightful sound effects. Both Samar and Aram were right; Liz would hate it... But Sammy really would _love_ it.  

Liz's face contorted into an expression of far more amusement than Samar would have expected, as a realisation came to mind... The very same thing that Aram had thought of back in the toy store, and chosen not to point out. She was choosing to roll with Samar's mischief, rather than being annoyed at something so trivial. After all, Liz could be perfectly mischievous herself. Aram began to snicker as Liz raised an eyebrow. From the kitchen, where she was just starting to place candles around the cake, Mehri bit her lip to stop herself from doing the same. Ressler tried to stifle a laugh of his own as he too, realised what was going through Liz's mind.  
'You realise Leila's birthday is only a month away, right?' She said. There was a deliberate slowness with which she said it. She was waiting for the real meaning of her words to sink in. The mischievous glee vanished from Samar's face in an instant, only to be replaced with her own combination of horror and amusement. Of _course_ , she knew when Leila's birthday was... _But_ , just as Samar knew that Sammy's favourite things were those that made noise, Liz knew that Leila's favourite things were those that tended to make _mess_.

Mehri stepped out from behind the kitchen counter, the beautiful chocolate cake -adorned with pastel pink frosting, white and yellow daisy shaped wafers, and 'Happy Birthday Sammy' in swirly, white frosting letters- held out in hers hands. Samar and Liz both immediately returned their attention to the task at hand; singing along with everyone else as the cake came ever closer, those candles just waiting for Liz and Sammy to blow them out. But still, they knew...

Samar had unwittingly taken the first serve.

The game was on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, Chapter 67; 'Mama'.
> 
> And now of course, some visual references for this chapter. That walker really was the noisiest, most elaborate one I could find on the internet, and the daisy wafers are an adorable little something I stumbled across at my local supermarket.  
> [](https://www.flickr.com/gp/152300685@N03/mGf824)


	67. Mama

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Friday-Sunday, August 4-6, 2017.

**_SATURDAY MORNING..._ **

Aram let out a yawn. He shook his head too, as he ambled down the hallway from the bedroom to the living room. He had woken up to find Samar not by his side in bed but rather, awake... And if the noise was anything to go by, she was awake _and_ already busy. Aram froze as he rounded the corner and spotted the horrifyingly wide array of weapons spread across the table. Aram recognised the FBI issued service weapon that usually sat on her hip, the slightly smaller one that she usually carried on either her back or her ankle –wardrobe dependent, of course- and the knife that was always hidden _somewhere_ on her person... But there were at least two other firearms, and three other knives that Aram counted on the table.  
'I was going to say good morning, and why are you awake...' He mumbled, taking a few steps further into the room. Aram blinked his eyes a few more times, trying to rid them of sleep and make sure that what he was seeing was in fact, real. 'But I think I'm going to go with... What are you doing, why are there _so_ many weapons, where did they all _come_ from, and have they all been here _the whole time?'_ Samar glanced up, letting out a wry smile at the sight of him standing there, his hair wildly poking out after being styled by pillow overnight, his robe open and hanging wonky over his frame that was otherwise covered by nothing except his boxers, and his eyes wide with a twisted mix of curiosity and horror.   
'Good morning to you too,' Samar mused. Aram blinked a few more times. 'Which question should I answer first?'  
'All of them...' Aram mumbled again. He was still half asleep. Samar tried to hold back a laugh; it was always fun to toy with him when he tried to have a serious conversation while still half asleep.  
'Ok, well,' she began, 'I'm sorting and rearranging them all, which is why I'm awake. Variety is good and I always need back up, they've all been in different safes, and yes, they've lived here longer than you have.' Aram blinked yet again; _ah, the safes_. That made sense. Aram knew she had a number of them hidden around the apartment.  
'Why are you rearranging them?' He asked, and Samar ducked past him to carefully lock and place roughly a third of the cache in a safe that Aram knew –but pretended he didn't- was located behind the top level of the bookshelf. Awake brain function was starting to kick in, and it occurred to him that he had never seen her rearrange them all at once before.   
'Because Leila's walking now, and I finally have a free moment where she's not here and I can get them all out to move the weapons into the higher safes where she's less likely to accidentally get into them, and move less dangerous things like paperwork into the lower safes,' Samar explained, all quite matter of factly. She scooped up a couple more of the collection –her usual trio now the only weapons left on the table- pausing only to tilt her head and give him a droll smile. 'Any more questions?'  
'Yeah, one...' Aram thought slowly aloud. Samar darted past him again, to somewhere down the hall he didn't want to know about, and Aram raised his voice so that she could hear without him having to follow; 'what happened to not bringing a knife to a gunfight?'

Samar re-emerged, pausing just inside the doorway, her hands now entirely free of any kind of weaponry. Her lip quirked up with a hint of amusement.

'Wasn't that the whole point of bayonets?' She asked quizzically. Aram screwed up his face in thought.  
'No, I'm pretty sure they had a purpose beyond that,' he said slowly. With a yawn, Aram wrapped his arms around Samar and pulled her in close as she moved to dart past him again.   
'Too tired to talk technical?' Samar teased, and Aram nuzzled into her, pressing soft kisses along her neck and shoulder from behind.   
'Mmhmm, which brings me back to my original point...' Aram murmured, before trailing off. Samar sank contentedly into his grasp, and Aram smiled against her skin. 'Why are you awake and out of bed so early when Leila is at Ressler's, and we could be enjoying a rare Saturday morning lazing around in bed for an extra hour or so?' Samar simply chuckled in response, and turned herself around so that though still standing, wrapped in his arms, she now faced him. She shrugged nonchalantly, and Aram took that as his cue; he tightened his grasp around her waist and lifted her from the ground, then turned on the spot and marched down the hallway towards the bedroom, still carrying her all the while. Gently, Aram dropped her back onto the bed, then clambered in beside her. Not a word passed either of their lips, but the point was made. 

'Better now?' Samar mused softly, turning her head on the pillow to gaze back at him.   
'Much,' Aram whispered back. He rolled onto his side, pushing himself up so that he leaned slightly over her. One hand ran its fingertips first through her hair, and then softly down her cheek. Aram closed his eyes, leaning in and pressing a deep kiss to her lips.   
'You're determined this morning,' Samar observed happily as Aram finally pulled away. As much as he loved to shower her with affection at home, Aram always remained gentle, and never too presumptive. Suddenly picking her up and carrying her back to bed just because he felt like it wasn't unheard of, but it was far from routine –not that Samar minded the gesture at all, however.   
'Do I need a reason to kiss-' Aram began to tease, and then suddenly stopped himself. He sat up a little further, furrowing his brow.  
'-Me?' Samar tried curiously to finish the question for him.  
'No,' Aram shook his head. Samar raised an eyebrow, and Aram instantly winced, trying to find the right words. 'Well, _yes,_ you _._ Except... I was going to say 'my girlfriend', but that just doesn't seem enough anymore.' The expression on Samar's faced softened.   
'What do you mean?'  
'We've lived together for nearly a year, been together for longer. We're raising a toddler together, who I'm only a couple of months shy of being allowed to adopt... 'Girlfriend' just seems too casual.'

Aram shifted, turning himself slightly so that he could gaze back at her more comfortably. His face was lit with an adoring smile as he quietly observed her laying back, her dark curls splayed across the pillow, and her eyes twinkling up at him with affectionate amusement... But Aram's cheeks were pink with an embarrassed blush.  

'What do you normally call me?' Samar asked softly.  
'I don't...' Aram thought out loud, his brow furrowed in contemplation. 'I normally don't need to use a title, because if I talk to anyone about you they generally know you already. I just call you by name.' He tilted his head, raising a single, quizzical eyebrow. 'What do you normally call me?' Samar opened her mouth to respond and then suddenly stopped herself; she too, was now stuck in thought.  
'Same problem...' She observed slowly.   
'Most people in this situation would just say you're my partner-' Aram began, shooting her a grin. Samar nodded, following the train of thought exactly.  
'-But that doesn't work, given what we do,' she finished for him. It wasn't at all an exclusive enough word; after all, it encompassed Liz, Ressler, and anyone really, who they worked with regularly.  

Aram lowered himself back down beside her, rolling onto his side, and pressing another kiss to her cheek. His fingers interlocked with hers where they rested between them.  

'Partner in crime, maybe?' He suggested, breaking into a mischievous grin. Samar simply smirked in response.  
'Fitting.'  
'Got a better idea?' Samar pulled her hand from his, instead sliding her arms over his shoulders and linking her hands behind his neck. She pulled him closer to her, until their noses were just shy of touching... And teasingly, she waggled her eyebrows.   
'Yep,' she whispered, 'figuring it out another day and going back to your original plan instead.'  
'Works for me...' Aram murmured back. He leaned in that little bit further, ready to kiss her again...

The shrill sound of Samar's phone suddenly ringing on the nightstand made them both jump.  

'Mmmm, hold that thought,' she grumbled in annoyance. Reluctantly, and in the scramble to reach the phone before it rang out, she pushed Aram away. Samar took one look at the number flashing on the screen, and her eyes widened in alarm. She clambered out of the bed, reaching for the phone and pulling it to her ear in a single, fluid movement as she sprinted towards the bathroom and closed the door behind her. Aram sighed; he knew what that scramble meant, and what the mad dash for privacy meant too.  

Five minutes later, Samar re-emerged... And looked decidedly unimpressed.

'Mossad?' Aram sighed. Samar shot him a look, not just apologetic but with traces of something else too... Disappointment, reluctance, even concern.   
'Remember how they said that once Leila was a bit bigger, I'd have to start doing temporary assignments again?' Aram's face crumpled at the implication. He sat up, swinging his legs around to the edge.    
'How long this time?' He asked gently.  
'Two nights; tonight and tomorrow. I'll be back on Monday.'  
'That's not so bad...'  
'If they had given me advance notice, we could have switched days with Ressler... Leila could have spent tonight with him instead, while I'm not here.' Samar shook her head, sighing bitterly.  
'She'll be fine,' Aram tried to reassure her. 'I'll pick her up this afternoon, then tomorrow we'll...' He paused for a moment, thinking about it. 'Well, I guess, we'll have a Daddy-Daughter day. And the day after that, you'll be home. Ooh, I could take her to the Natural History Museum to see the dinosaurs again...'  
'I don't know how much of that she understood the last time you took her there,' Samar pointed out. There was an ever so slight smirk, but not as much as Aram would have expected. She was still hesitant about being ordered to travel away.   
'Even more reason to go again,' Aram quipped. He smiled softly, reaching out for her hand as she wandered slowly back across the room towards him. 'You'll be back before we know it.'

Samar paused, allowing him to wrap his hands around hers, but otherwise tilting her head wordlessly.  

'It's not Leila I'm worried about,' she murmured, shaking her head almost as if annoyed at herself for it. Aram furrowed his brow, feeling instantly sympathetic as he understood. 'The last time I spent more than one night away from her...' Samar continued to explain, 'was when Maxwell took me. By the time I get back this time around, it'll have been three nights.'

Aram rose from the edge of the bed, pulling her closer to him.  

'You'll be fine, too,' he said. He brushed the loose hair back off her face, and she shot him a half-hearted, but no less appreciative smile. For all Samar's insistence on juggling her commitments to both Leila and her job, she was painfully aware of the scrutiny that came with it. Despite caring little for what most other people thought of her decisions –more significant people such as Aram and Liz being the exceptions to that rule nowadays- the notion of doing anything that made her feel like she was not a good enough mother, still nagged at the back of Samar's mind. She didn't have a choice when it came to most of the temporary, short assignments Mossad ordered her to do, and Samar had well and truly accepted that long ago... But she felt guilty leaving Leila behind, regardless of the fact that she was being left in more than capable hands. And further to that, as much as Samar wasn't one for going overboard in expressing anything sentimental, she still loved Leila more than anything. She didn't feel ready yet to leave Leila for more than the usual one night at Ressler's... And yet, she had to –at short, sudden notice too.  

Samar steadied herself, trying to shake away the worry that twisted in her gut. Somewhere in the back of her mind she was trying to convince herself; the uncharacteristic rush of anxiety was simply due to Mossad's lack of advance notice, and her subsequent lack of time to brace herself... That once she'd had time and gotten over the surprise, she would be just fine. She glanced just past Aram's shoulder, at one of his old, grey MIT t-shirts that lay strewn across the end of the bed from the night before. Samar's lip quirked up in amused contemplation, and she ducked around Aram to pick up the soft, worn fabric... And run it through her fingers.   
'Can I take this with me?' She asked suddenly.  
'Uh, sure,' Aram said, nodding. It was more than well established that he had no qualms about her taking his shirts and sweaters. If anything, Aram felt a warm sense of contentment each of the occasions that he saw her wearing one. Aram raised a curious eyebrow; 'why, though?'  
'To test a hypothesis.'  
'Care to share?'  
'Not just yet,' Samar quipped. She slipped her hands, her arms over his shoulders again, allowing the grey fabric to slip through her fingers and fall to the bed just behind him. She had a theory to test; one, that she thought was silly, but she was curious all the same. And yet, if it worked, it could be the one thing to make her feel more at ease while away... But for the meantime, Samar just wanted to try and shake off the apprehension, and make the most of the time she had left before having to leave. She leaned in that little bit further, giving a small, wry smile. 'Now, where were we?' Aram grinned; he had no idea what her hypothesis was, but he was intrigued.   
'Pretty sure I was trying to kiss my partner in crime,' he murmured, grinning.   
'You know...' Samar breathed, 'I think that sounds like a _great_ idea.'

/*/*/*/*

**_SUNDAY..._ **

Samar woke up, yawning and stretching through the lavish, silk hotel sheets. They weren't the only part of the hotel that was lavish, in fact. The room was huge, the carpet thick and soft under her feet, and the complimentary bottle of wine and chocolate selection that sat on the table bore names so exclusive that Samar was almost nervous to touch them. Samar hated to think just how much cash Mossad had forked out to send her there, but her target was a wealthy high-roller who never stayed in anything less than ostentatious, and so... There she was.  

Between time differences and time spent travelling, it felt far more like one night away than two. She had arrived around midday local time, then met with her team, pored over the relevant intelligence, _disposed_ of their target, and continued on their way –in Samar's case, showering and going to bed. Samar was set to leave the hotel no more than twenty hour hours after having arrived. It was a whirlwind. Samar rolled onto her side, staring across the huge expanse of bed that she had all to herself. It felt odd, really. The first few nights ever spent with Aram had felt odd in a similar but reverse kind of way; at that time, Samar had been so accustomed to sleeping alone that the presence of a warm body there next to her, had caused her to have to repeatedly remind herself that it was simply Aram, and that there wasn't some kind of twisted home invasion or long term undercover operation happening. Now, on the other hand, she was so used to having him there, that waking up alone made the bed feel eerily empty.  

Samar inhaled deeply, nestling further into the sheets and the worn fabric of Aram's t-shirt that she had wrapped herself in. The scent of Aram that lingered between those woven threads was a surprising comfort.  

That was the hypothesis she had wanted to test; despite all the nightmares that were inevitable after the things she had seen, and that Samar was content to just accept and deal with as a normal part of her life, she certainly felt like she slept at least a _little_ easier with Aram around. Samar couldn't figure out exactly why that was, but she assumed it had something to do with her sleeping subconscious knowing she wasn't alone, and so she was curious... To see if sleeping in Aram's shirt could trick her subconscious into that same sense of security –especially given that she had been apprehensive to leave in the first place. Samar was _convinced_ that it was silly, but at the same time she was telling herself; _what harm would it do to try it and see?_

Her attention was jolted from its musings by her phone ringing where she'd left it on the small corner table the night before.

Samar scrambled out of bed and across the room, lunging for it. Seeing Aram's name flashing on the screen brought a smile to her face and so, upon answering, she ambled back to bed and wrapped herself in those soft, warm covers once more.  
'You know I'm not really supposed to take your calls while I'm away, right?' Samar mused, pulling the bedcovers back up just shy of her chin.   
'And yet, you did,' Aram teased back. Samar grinned into the comforter, rolling back onto her side and resting the phone against her ear.  
'Don't tell Mossad,' she said, trying to sound flat... But Aram could practically hear the wry smile through the phone line. Back at the apartment, he was sitting back on the couch in the living room, with Leila curled up against his chest. She was sleepy but still awake, and Aram was keeping quiet and still, waiting for those twinkling hazel eyes to finally fall closed. 'Oh, that sounds like tired fussing,' Samar observed, hearing Leila's soft grizzling in the background.   
'Tired, but happy,' Aram quickly reassured her. With the time difference, though Samar was just waking up, back in DC it was nearly Leila's bedtime. A soft smile tugged at Aram's lips as an idea came to mind; 'want to see her?' He asked.  
'Of course,' Samar answered. In a flash, she switched from holding her phone by her ear, to holding it out in front of her. It sat tucked into the crook of her elbow where it rested just off the edge of the pillow. Back home, Aram moved in the same instant, nestling Leila between his arms and holding the phone out in front of both of them. The call switched to video, and Aram and Leila both suddenly appeared on the screen of Samar's phone. Leila did indeed appear tired, but happy. She stared at the imagery of Samar on Aram's phone, and reached out for it –her tiny fingers batting at the screen in the attempt to plaster them all over Samar's face as she normally would. Samar broke into a wide smile at the sight of her little girl's instant response. 'Hi Leila,' Samar murmured softly; she didn't want to be too loud, not if Leila was tired and Aram was trying to settle her, but the enthusiasm was clear in her voice regardless. Leila sleepily babbled back, and Samar couldn't help but chuckle under her breath. Aram, meanwhile, eyed the grey t-shirt that was just visible in the edge of the frame, now that Samar had moved her arms to switch to video and the bedcovers had slipped down again. He couldn't help but notice the neckline was pulled up higher than it should have naturally sat against her frame –as high, in fact, as the comforter had been earlier, but not that Aram knew that.   
'I see you're wearing my shirt,' he mused.   
'What did you think I was going to do with it?' Samar drolly pointed out. Aram tipped his head to her in recognition of such, and Samar rolled her eyes in mock-exasperation.   
'How's the experiment going?' He asked in turn.   
'The hypothesis is proving very comfortable.' Samar's voice that time was an attempt at being matter of fact, but in reality they both knew it was just as much an attempt at not seeming sentimental. Nonetheless, she reluctantly let out a small smile. 'It smells pretty good too, actually,' she admitted, before rolling her eyes again –though at herself, this time.   
'I can't _imagine_ why that would be,' Aram teased, then chuckled to himself. He had an inkling as to why she had taken the shirt, and what she was testing with it, but he wasn't one hundred percent certain.

...And, if Aram was entirely honest with himself, he wasn't going to ask either. If he was right, it was something for Samar to mention and _only_ if she wanted to. In the meantime, so long as she was happy, he was happy. There was no need to force her to admit to something that made herself feel silly, especially if it was something that also made her more comfortable.  

'Though, I'm sure a clean one would still smell just as good,' Aram added, albeit more gently this time. 'You didn't have to subject yourself to one I'd slept in for the three nights before you left.' Samar sighed, the clear sign that it was time to change the topic away from the sentimental... And the sign that Aram was indeed correct in his guess regarding her motivations.   
'How were the dinosaurs today?' She asked, after a moment's pause. Aram noted the topic change, and opted not to push any further.   
'Still as awesome as always,' Aram said, grinning. 'Leila was babbling the entire time.'  
'Really?'  
'Mmhmmm... She was pretty excited. That's why she's so tired now.'  
'I think you mean, that's why she's _asleep_ now,' Samar softly pointed out. Aram had been distracted enough by the conversation not to notice Leila fall quiet and her eyes flicker closed, but Samar hadn't. Still nestled comfortably against Aram's chest, Leila was now _sound_ asleep.  
'Huh?' Aram instantly shot Samar a sheepish grin as he glanced down and realised, then promptly turned his attention back to his phone. 'I should probably set her down in her crib,' he added, letting out a yawn of his own.   
'And I should probably get out of bed and get ready to go to the airport,' Samar sighed back. She pushed herself up to sitting again, her mess of dark curls tumbling around her shoulders as soon as she moved.   
'I'll see you when you get home,' Aram said gently, nodding his agreement. They swapped tired smiles, as Aram added his final comment before hanging up the call; 'fly safe.'

/*/*/*/*

**_MONDAY AFTERNOON..._ **

Aram hurried across the airport, and into the international arrivals area. Somehow, Leila seemed to know that the strange, large, noisy place in which she found herself had something to do her mother's absence –or rather, the impending _end_ of that absence- because while she bounced in Aram's arms she couldn't stop babbling excitedly.  
'Mamaaaa,' she squealed what felt like the hundredth time that morning –Aram had lost count during his scurry across the front of the terminal.   
'That's right, ladybug,' he breathed, finally coming to a stop and actually taking the moment to glance down and smile at the excited little girl. 'We're here to pick up Mama.' Aram stood a little further back from the crowd gathered right at the edge of the arrivals area. They were elbowing each other and stepping on each other's feet, all in the push and shove to be the first person spotted by any arriving passenger who walked in. Aram had no interest in him or Leila being squashed by the horde and the reality was, Samar wasn't a fan of the idea either. She was more inclined not to rush off the plane first but rather, hold back and take the whole process of deboarding, security, passport control and luggage collection at her own pace without being pushed around. With that in mind, by the time she walked into the arrivals area, half of the collecting crowd would be gone... And spotting Aram and Leila towards the back would be easier.  

Still, Leila continued to babble. Her eyes, alert and scanning, watched the buzz of activity in front of them.  

Somehow, in watching the people –and especially the tiny one in his arms- it didn't feel to Aram as if the time was passing too slowly. It wasn't flying by them, but the amusement that was trying to contain a steadily more and more excited Leila certainly ensured that it passed quickly enough. Aram glanced up to the crowd again, as he had been doing intermittently over the last twenty minutes... And his face instantly lit up with a wide smile.   
'Hey Leila...' Aram murmured, planting a kiss on her cheek. He pointed ahead and just to the side of them, trying to redirect her attention. 'Look who it is.' Leila squirmed, turning herself around curiously in Aram's grasp. It took her a moment, but as soon as Leila spotted who was heading towards them, the excitement only overtook even more. Samar had just stepped through the heavy door and into the arrivals area, and was still scanning through the remnants of the crowd, searching for them. Leila's tiny fists waved back and forth in front of her face with enthusiasm. Aram chuckled to himself, tightening his grasp around Leila before all her squirming led to her _falling_.  

Samar's gaze swept across and past them for a second, and then did a double take. She paused for a step, smiling back at them across the hall in almost weary relief.

From her place still striding across the hall, even Samar could see how much Leila was squirming and reaching out for her. Lip quirked up in amusement and affection, Samar quickened her pace. She strode across the hall, heading towards them as quickly as she could while her movement could still be categorised as 'walking' rather than running.  

And then all of a sudden, Leila let out a squeal that was loud enough to turn heads.

But with what came next, and with Samar now just a few feet away, neither her nor Aram moved immediately to calm her down.

' _Mama!'_ Leila burst out. Samar froze. For all Leila's babbling of the word, before now she hadn't yet mastered any grasp of meaning or direction with which to use it, like Sammy had already. But this was different. Leila was staring right at her, a gummy grin stretched wide from ear to ear. Now she knew exactly what she was saying, and _who_ she was reaching out for. Samar took a breath... And took those last few steps. Within seconds of taking Leila immediately from Aram and into her arms, the little girl settled. Closing her eyes for a moment, Samar buried her face in Leila's soft, mahogany curls, pressing proud kisses to the top of her daughter's head. Finally, Samar opened her eyes again and looked up; Aram still stood there, patiently waiting and grinning with pride all of his own.  
'Did she just-' Samar began slowly, then cut herself off. She didn't even know what to say. _Her little girl knew who she was..._ That was all that was running through Samar's head. Not that she had ever doubted that Leila knew who she was; the little one's standard enthusiasm for her just on sight was enough to make that clear. But, the outburst was a completely different level... One that after all of Samar's apprehension about leaving, made all her anxieties disappear in an instant.   
'It's been non-stop,' Aram mused. He leaned in, ducking his head around Leila's to kiss Samar's cheek. 'I think she missed you.' Samar couldn't help but smile at the observation.   
'Well,' she whispered contently into Leila's ear, 'I missed you too, Leila ladybug.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, it's Aram's turn for a birthday again, in 'Outdone.'
> 
> Now folks, to all of you reading this, whether or not you normally comment, this is where I need a touch of advice about chapter posting, and I'm asking nice and early so there's plenty of time to get your thoughts in, if you like. In a few weeks from now, I'm going overseas for about 3ish weeks, and probably without my laptop. Updates while I'm away will depend on the computer/internet access I have while travelling from city to city so... Until then I will post my usual once-weekly updates, but while I'm away does anyone have a preference for how I run the updates? Like say, a couple all together before I leave, then a three week hiatus until I'm back? A couple all together when I return instead? Or just a hiatus, without bonus posts before/after? I will endeavour to update where I can while I'm away, but in the event that I can't, your input would be great in helping me solve this dilemma. Thank you all in advance :)


	68. Outdone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Sunday, August 13, 2017.
> 
> Hints for future storylines could be found in this chapter... Well, maybe if you squint ;)

'You know...' Aram began, somewhere between curiosity and amusement, 'I never spent a lot of time in this part of town when I was younger, and yet... In the last year, this will be the second time I've been dragged to the airfield for some kind of surprise.' Samar didn't meet his eye right away. Instead, as they strolled side by side towards the tarmac, she stared straight ahead, smirking.  
'Is there a question in there somewhere?' She teased. Aram turned, giving her a skeptical look. Samar simply shrugged in response, still smirking as she gestured ahead of them to the blue helicopter that sat on the tarmac. 'I thought a helicopter ride might a fun thing to do for your birthday,' she explained.  

Aram eyed the smirk on her face for one beat longer; whatever she was planning it was clearly more than _just_ a helicopter ride.

/*/*/*/*

'Sir?' Came the voice of the helicopter pilot. They had been up in the air for some fifteen minutes by now, taking what so far _seemed_ to be a standard scenic tour by helicopter over the town and surrounding area. Still, Aram was convinced that there was more to it; Samar seemed far more content with staring out of the window and admiring the view, than he would normally expect her to be. Regardless, Aram swivelled his attention from his musings to the pilot. 'Sir, you're going to want to check your emails,' the pilot informed him, then tapped one of the ears of his own headset. 'I'm being told to tell you there's someone on the ground trying to urgently contact you.'

Aram narrowed his eyes for a moment, but the pilot added nothing more. Samar remained suspiciously quiet.

With an exasperated sigh, Aram tugged his cell phone from his pocket, and opened up his emails. There was indeed a new one, but it contained no text, simply a video file attachment. Aram opened up the video, and instantly he frowned in concern.

There on the small screen of his phone, was the image of his parents sitting side by side, holding up the day's newspaper... Like hostages.  
'Aram, honey,' Mehri began but oddly, it seemed as if she was trying not to laugh. 'It seems we've been kidnapped.'  
'Seems?' Naveed grumbled. Mehri swatted him across the shoulder.  
' _Yes_ , dear,' she whispered into his ear, before refocusing her gaze on the camera. In the helicopter, watching, Aram rolled his eyes. They weren't _really_ so much hostages, as part of some kind of elaborate set up.   
'Hey, hostage,' growled another familiar voice in the background –or rather, it was an _attempt_ at a growl. In actuality, it sounded like yet another laugh being suppressed. 'Get on with your ransom message.'   
'Right, ahem,' Mehri tried to continue without snickering. Beside her, Naveed simply sighed in amused exasperation. 'Aram, we've been kidnapped. As you can see, we're _alive_. But if you don't pay up the ransom, we might not be much longer.' Mehri turned and eyeballed her husband beside her -his cue to be cooperative and make the next statement.  
'An email will be sent to you, saying how much you have to pay up and where you have to leave it,' Naveed added. His voice was slow and flat, like someone boredly reading aloud from a script. 'Please help us... We're terrified.' At that point, Mehri did actually snort with laughter.  
'You're a terrible hostage,' came the amused voice of the faux-kidnapper.  
'Why?' Naveed asked drolly, and raising a single eyebrow, 'do I sound _too_ scared?'

Beside Aram in the helicopter, even Samar's lip was twitching as she listened and held back a laugh at their antics.

The video went quiet –with the exception of some giggling in the background that sounded distinctly like a certain pair of toddlers- for a moment, before suddenly cutting out.

'Sir, should I head back to the airfield?' Came the pilot's voice again. Now that Aram thought about it with the context of the video he had just watched, it almost seemed like the pilot was having far too much found trying to sound like an agent himself. But instead, Aram didn't answer straight away. A new email popped up; the very email Naveed had mentioned, that demanded 'one billion Dollarees' be dropped under a bench at Aram's favourite childhood park.  
'You set this up, didn't you?' Aram turned to ask Samar beside him, momentarily leaving the pilot's question to remain lingering in the air.  
'You think I took your parents _hostage?'_   Samar exclaimed, her eyes wide with mock offense. 'What kind of partner in crime do you take me for?'  
'The sneaky kind,' Aram quickly shot back with a chuckle. He gestured at the frozen image of his parents on the screen of his phone; 'they're clearly _not_ hostages, and that was Liz's voice in the background.' For a second, Aram's amusement faltered in favour of curiosity. He wondered when on earth Liz had arrived in town, and where she had stayed without him knowing about it. She hadn't driven east with him and Samar a day earlier. In fact, Liz had made a point of giving him a card _two_ days earlier before they left work on Friday, in anticipation of the fact that she wouldn't see him over the weekend on his actual birthday. And yet somehow, Liz was right there in the background of the video with his parents... Who Aram had last seen less than an hour earlier, when he and Samar left Leila with them before the helicopter ride. Somehow, Liz was in town and as far as Aram was concerned, that meant something far more than a mere helicopter ride was in store for him.   
'Ok then,' Samar mused, shrugging nonchalantly and looking back out the window again. 'If you want to leave them to it, and not be a secret agent for a day who could find and rescue them...' She trailed off, leaving the idea hanging tantalisingly above his head... Aram's lip quirked up in thought, turning in his seat to gaze back at her in surprise. _Had she really set up some kind of elaborate, mystery case experience for him?_    
'Sir?' The pilot piped up again –he was still expecting an answer. 'What would you like me to do?' Aram paused for a moment, before making his decision. It took everything he had to suppress a wide grin, in favour of maintaining the serious expression of an agent in charge.  
'Back to the airfield it is, then,' he said, with a nod that was an attempt at authoritative. Aram faltered again, then glancing curiously back at Samar who was watching him with a mischievous grin all of her own. 'Now what?'  
'Now you use your expert knowledge of the area to figure out where they are, and lead the team to find them,' she said, quite simply.  
'Wait, _what_ team?' Aram frowned, but Samar didn't respond. Instead, she relaxed back in her seat, the grin still stretched from ear to ear. Meanwhile, the helicopter began its sharp turn, heading back to the small airstrip just on the outskirts of town...

/*/*/*/*

'Ok, so how am I supposed to pay a ransom in a billion units of fictional currency that I do not have?' Aram asked warily. Having returned to the ground, and now finding themselves walking back across the tarmac to the car, there were endless questions swirling around in his brain as he tried to figure out how on earth he was supposed to launch a 'rescue' of his parents.   
'Check the trunk,' Samar suggested casually. 'Part of Mossad training is to be prepared for all contingencies, and that includes keeping some cash on hand in different currencies. I'm sure there are some Dollarees in there somewhere...' Aram paused, eyeing her with hints of both amazement and exasperation. Regardless, he popped open the trunk and peered inside.

Indeed, inside the trunk there was a black duffel bag, loaded with fake cash.  

Or rather, just a few layers of fake cash, with the rest of the space underneath filled with old newspaper. Aram couldn't help but smirk at the prop.

'Seriously?' He laughed. 'You just keep a billion Dollarees in the trunk as walking around money?' Samar nodded, then motioned at the car as if to hurry him along.  
'Come on,' she chirped. 'You know this town, so you can drive.'

/*/*/*/*

Samar trailed along beside Aram as they crossed his childhood favourite park towards the bench where they had to drop the ransom. It was the very same park he had showed her during their walk the first time she had ever visited his parents... The very same park where they had sat on the swings together nearly a year earlier. Now, the park was filled with families, and the swings were subject to a _queue_ of children awaiting their turn. Aram hadn't been kidding; everyone really did love that park.

But in the meantime, as they crossed the grass and approached the bench, Samar was waiting for Aram to make a very particular realisation...

A look of shock, and then utter delight lit up Aram's face as they strolled ever closer to the bench. Sitting on that bench, were two people who were all too familiar; one, about six foot tall and with sandy brown hair and bright green eyes, and the other considerably smaller but otherwise almost identical...

' _Angus_ ,' Aram burst out. He picked up the pace, heading straight for the bench. Angus looked up from where his attention had previously been focused on his son playing with a toy train figurine beside him, and broke into a wide smile of his own. He rose from the bench, outstretching his arms just as Aram did as they reached each other. The two pulled each other into a warm, friendly embrace, with Angus clapping Aram contently on the shoulder.   
'Happy birthday, brother,' Angus greeted him, as they pulled away from one another. Samar smiled as she watched them; the affection between them was clear, as was the joy at being reunited in person for the first time since Angus had left nearly three years earlier. Both men grinned like idiots, utterly chuffed. Aram nodded appreciatively, still too stunned by the fact that Angus was _there_ , right in front of him.   
'When did you guys get here?' He asked in amazement. Just like Aram had wondered about Liz, now he was wondering how he could have missed the arrival in town of not just one of his friends, but now _two_. He gazed down for a moment, smiling softly at the sight of little Riley shyly wrapping himself around his father's leg. The almost three year old smiled back up at his 'uncle' Aram -whose voice seemed vaguely familiar from the occasional phone calls Angus managed from base- before burying his face into the back of Angus' leg again.       
'Yesterday afternoon,' Angus mused, seeming all too mischievous for Aram's taste. He quickly forced a more serious expression, remembering why he was there; 'just in time to be blackmailed by someone who took your parents hostage.' Angus paused, glancing at the black duffle bag hanging from Samar's fingertips. 'You got a ransom for me to deliver?' Aram turned, gazing back at Samar over his shoulder.   
'I can't believe you set this up,' he said shaking his head in disbelief. Setting up a fake case was one thing, but _organising for Angus and Riley to time their short visit for that particular weekend?_ Aram had no idea how she had managed to do it.  
'Set what up?' Samar asked, feigning innocence. She was determined to stick to the ruse; 'I thought we were trying to rescue your kidnapped parents, here.' Aram rolled his eyes in mock exasperation, finally conceding that continuing to question the plan was going to get him absolutely nowhere. He shifted his gaze back to Angus, taking on a more serious expression all of his own.   
'Blackmailed, hmm?' He asked.   
'Yeah,' Angus said, nodding sagely, 'they threatened to inflict me with a hyperactive Riley by feeding him too much sugar.'  
'Harsh.' Aram grimaced for a moment. Samar turned away to stifle a laugh at the two of them trying –and failing- to feign seriousness. 'So, where did you stumble across this blackmailer?'  
'Outside the diner a few blocks over,' Angus replied, 'but you know what? I don't take so kindly to Mehri and Naveed being kidnapped. Could you count me in as part of your team?'

All attempts at seriousness instantly vanished from Aram's face and he grinned again instead as he understood who exactly made up the 'team' Samar had mentioned in the helicopter. He gestured ahead as if to cue Angus to lead the way... And with Riley picked up and carried along in Angus' arms, he did so.

'By the way, Angus,' Aram piped up, as they crossed the grass, 'meet Samar. Samar, meet Angus and Riley.'

/*/*/*/*

At Aram's old favourite diner from his teenage years, they found an old neighbour and friend of Mehri's who claimed to have witnessed the kidnapping not far from the library.

Over at the library, another of Aram's favourite haunts from his youth, they found another witness; the librarian who was both another old friend of Mehri's, as well as a trusted figure from when Aram was young, who had always encouraged his interests and reading. She claimed to have witnessed where the mysterious hostage taker had disappeared to with Mehri and Naveed, and handed over an address scrawled on a scrap of notepaper.

Aram didn't even look at it at first, for he had noticed another trend; they seemed to be not just on a fake case, but on a tour of all his old favourite spots around town... And mostly guided along by his mother's old friends. Aram was starting to see how it all fit together; Samar had organised the big picture, while his mother –in her delight at being told of the scheme- had roped in all her friends to help.

No clues were given to him at any point until he went along with the ruse of being an agent questioning his suspects or witnesses; Aram was amazed at how strictly they were all taking the game.

And, he couldn't help but roll his eyes and laugh at the address on the paper when he finally unravelled it in his hands; it was his parents' house.

They had gone full circle.  

With Samar, Angus and Riley in tow, Aram began making his way back. The house was eerily quiet when they arrived. There were no signs of his parents, Liz, Sammy or Leila anywhere. Aram was starting to wonder if there was yet another twist to come, rather than a curious game of hide and seek around the house he had grown up in... Until his ears perked up at the sound of _very_ familiar squeal, and another very familiar giggle. Aram turned and ran down the stairs to the basement that his parents had converted into a den years earlier...

And there they were. There in the basement den; his parents and Liz sitting and chatting, happily waiting for him, with Sammy and Leila contently toddling after one another, and a bright birthday banner hanging from the wall.  

Mehri couldn't help but laugh.

'Took you long enough to find and rescue us,' she mused. She rose from her chair, moving quickly forwards to pull him in and wrap her arms around him.   
'Yeah, it _really_ looks like you guys need rescuing,' Aram chuckled as he hugged her back, but he smiled warmly all the same. He was so used to working from the relative safety of his desk in the war room, while everyone else came and went from the field... And though Aram knew that the reality of field work was nothing like how cool it looked in movies, being able to play Agent for the day had been even more entertaining than he had first thought back in the helicopter. Mehri moved on, greeting Angus and Riley each in turn, with Naveed right behind her. Aram turned on the spot, catching Samar's eye where she stood, having been caught in on the other side of their small crowd. 'Thank you,' he whispered, as she managed to work her way around them all and return to his side... But all Samar did was wink at him before she murmured back;  
'We're not done yet.'

/*/*/*/*

Indeed, they weren't done yet. Next, Naveed led them all out of the basement den, and out into the backyard. It was early evening by that point, so Naveed set about cooking a barbecue dinner while the kids played in the grass. He refused to allow anyone else to help him with the dinner; for one, Naveed was too relieved at being able to do everything for himself again now that his arm was out of its sling. Secondly, the backyard was his pride and joy, and he and Mehri didn't have a huge amount of time to spend back in their old Delaware home before they finally had to move. Naveed wanted to enjoy the time he had left with his garden, and for him that meant being allowed to cook up a storm for everyone on his barbecue _just_ the way he liked it.  

The wide expanse of thick, green grass was surrounded by beautiful garden beds full of brightly coloured flowers, as well as a huge vegetable garden, and a long row of fruit trees –with the one exception of the side that lined up with the back of the house. That side featured a paved, outdoor dining area, with the long wood carved table and chairs and of course, the large brick barbecue.  

Winding trails of stepping stones ran their ways around and between each garden bed; trails that Aram had run along regularly as a child... Trails, which Riley, Sammy, and Leila were now exploring too.  

Riley was shy; at first he hadn't wanted to go anywhere where Angus wasn't immediately within reach. He still shied away from every other adult besides Aram, and he was a even a little wary of Sammy and Leila, too... But finally, he had worked up the courage to pick up a wooden block that Sammy had accidentally kicked away, and cautiously hold it out to give it back to her. Sammy had resumed her waving around of blocks within a second, not yet really understanding the concept of playing with others besides the usual toddling around and squealing that she did with Leila... But Riley had smiled contently as soon as Sammy took the block back, and had joined in the running and chasing in circles ever since.  

It occurred to Naveed that with his and Mehri's move to DC only a few weeks away, and Angus only visiting from his assignment in the Pacific, not only was this the first time he was ever going to see all three of his not-quite-grandkids ambling around together in his beloved garden, but it was also going to be the last. He watched all of them from his position by the barbecue, just taking it all in; his wife, his son, his 'adopted' kids all happily catching up at various points around the grass, and his grandkids scurrying about amongst them all. This was how he wanted to spend all of their birthdays, regardless of the fact that some of them –Sammy's, Aram's, and then Leila's in particular- were all so close together. They all looked so happy, and that was what Naveed loved to see; his family, all happy, especially on their birthdays...

...Not that he would ever really admit that out loud.  

Instead he just continued silently watching, the tiniest ghost of a smile etching its way across his face as he did so.

He watched... As over by one side of the garden, Angus stopped by Liz's side and shot her an amused smile.  
'I think my Riley has taken a fancy to your little one,' Angus observed quietly.   
'If he keeps bringing her blocks back to her, Sammy will keep up that smile at him too,' Liz chuckled back. She paused, watching all three kids still toddling around them for a moment. Each time either Sammy or Leila knocked something just that little bit too far out of reach, Riley went scrambling to bring it back for them. He was gentle too, running around after his two significantly smaller, new friends in their toddling, but notably careful not to accidentally bowl them over. Liz couldn't help but smile as she watched them; 'Riley's so sweet,' she added softly.  
'Sammy too,' Angus noted, grinning in turn. Liz turned, her attention momentarily pulled from watching the little ones, in favour of staring back at him. Her eyes crinkled and her lip quirked up with delighted contentment.   
'Thank you,' she beamed. She paused, almost awkwardly for a second... Before adding softly; 'I'm hoping to adopt another child soon, as well.'  

Angus' head whipped around to glance back at her in surprise –but only in the positive sense. He was surprised, but also distinctly impressed.

' _Two_ , on your own?' He asked, with a clear hint of amazement.  
'Mmhmm,' Liz hummed back. She was nervous, but her determination was unmistakeable. A beat later, and she gave an adamant nod.   
'Just one on your own can be tough,' Angus observed. Liz furrowed her brow ever so slightly for a second; Angus' words were words she had heard before, and usually as way of discouraging her from adopting... But Angus' tone was different; it was genuine, and thoughtful, like he was recognising the difficulty but not at all discouraging her from trying... It was like for once, he was someone who _understood_. But before she could respond, Riley slipped on the grass and let out a wail as he slid and smacked his knee against the ground. Angus instantly shot her an apologetic grimace, knowing that the conversation –at least for the moment- had found its end. 'Ah, I better go sort that out with my magic healing powers,' he mused, but not before pausing one split second longer to give one last, impressed nod. 'Good luck.'

Liz watched him take the hurried few steps across the grass straight to his son. Angus immediately gave Riley a quick cuddle and wiped away his tears, before smiling widely and waving his hands around as if casting some magical spell on the bumped knee. Riley followed along, clearly familiar with the process, and finally let out a watery smile as the pain slowly dissipated from his knee.  

Liz shook her head in amazed disbelief of her own, before shuffling across the garden as everyone else was doing, and finding herself a place by Samar's side where she watched Aram now laying in the grass and being jumped on by Leila.  

'Hey, Samar...' Liz began quietly. 'Exactly how much do you know about Angus?'  
'Just what Aram's told me,' Samar murmured back, raising a curious eyebrow. 'Why?'  
'Just something he said...' Liz trailed off for a moment. She watched everyone happily scattered around the garden –Angus now joining Aram in playing with the kids- then smiled softly. 'That raising one child on your own can be tough, but he didn't say it the way most other people do. It was thoughtful.'

Samar hesitated for a moment before responding, eyeing Aram and Angus and estimating them to be well out of earshot.

'That's because he's in the same boat,' she muttered gently. Liz turned slightly, staring back at her questioningly. Samar bowed her head, taking a breath, then nodding earnestly before she continued. 'He was crazy in love with Riley's mother, but she didn't really feel the same. When she fell pregnant, she didn't want a child. Angus just wanted whatever would make her happy, but... She decided to go through with it anyway. After Riley was born, they took him home together... And then three days later, Angus came home from work to find her gone, and Riley with the next door neighbour and a Dear John letter. She’s refused to have any contact with them since.'

It took everything Liz had, not to clasp a hand over her mouth in heartbroken horror.  

'That's awful,' she breathed.   
'Yep,' Samar agreed, gritting her teeth. 'So Angus took the first chance he could to leave and take Riley with him-'  
'-To the base in the Pacific that none of us are supposed to know about, but do,' Liz finished for her, seeing where the train of thought was going. Samar nodded, and Liz shook her head again –this time, sympathetic. 'No wonder he understands...'  
'He can relate more than you think,' Samar added quietly. Both of them now stood side by side, not meeting each other's gaze but rather, watching everyone else in front of them as they spoke... Their minds wandering in shared understanding and sympathy. 'He's not just a single parent like you. He also doesn't have the family to help him and Riley out... Just like you.' Samar paused, allowing a few seconds for that to sink in. 'His parents died in a car accident not long after he and Aram started college. They were dorm buddies... That's why Mehri and Naveed kept an eye on him. They offered for him to go back to Delaware with Aram for the holidays that year, and he did.'  
'That's a lot for not knowing much about him,' Liz observed, letting out a slow breath.   
'That's all I know.' Samar nodded slowly; 'besides setting all this up, I haven't had much of a chance to talk to him, but... He seems like a good guy.'

Over where Aram and Angus sat on the grass with the three kids jumping on and toddling around them, there was another conversation happening at the same time. Angus had taken up his place beside his honourary brother, just as Liz had found her place by Samar's side... And with questions all of his own.  

'Hey,' Angus muttered to Aram, resting his hand on his friend's shoulder to catch his attention as he lowered himself onto the grass. 'When you told me you worked with an Elizabeth, you didn't say she was _that_ Elizabeth.'  
'Oh, don't tell me you believed she was a fugitive-' Aram instantly began with a frustrated sigh. But, Angus held up his hand in a gesture of cam just as quickly.   
'-No, not at all,' he said, shaking his head earnestly. 'But I know the case, and I know who she is. She's one of the lead agents on a classified taskforce that deals with Raymond Reddington... And she was _set up_ for treason by his enemies.' Angus paused, shooting Aram a knowing look, 'Aram, I've been briefed. The NSA knows a hell of a lot more than it lets on, you know that. But, I didn't realise that was the same taskforce _you_ worked on.'  
'You're normally the one who reminds _me_ that we can't always talk work stuff,' Aram pointed out, holding back a laugh.   
'I know.' Angus shrugged and glanced back at Liz for a moment, still with that soft, impressed smile. She was deep in conversation with Samar and didn't notice his eyes on her even for that split second. 'She's one strong woman.' Aram followed his gaze, nodding gently in agreement.   
'Yeah, she is.'  
'And she wants to adopt a second child still?'  
'Yep...' Angus turned his gaze away, looking back at Aram with one half amused, half concerned raised eyebrow.  
'Is she crazy?' He asked, but only jokingly.   
'No,' Aram laughed quietly and shook his head, before taking on a more serious tone. 'She just cares that much.'  
'Can I ask what happened to the guy?' Angus asked again, after a second of hesitation. It was careful, kind, not at all intended to be intrusive... But simply, honest curiosity. Aram's lip quirked up at what that question really meant. For one, he knew he could choose not to answer and Angus wouldn't push him in the name of curiosity, but Aram also knew that if Angus would have easy access to the information if he really wanted to look into it... But instead he was choosing to ask, to make that courteous gesture rather than just searching for whatever information he wanted from the case notes.   
'Your briefing not go that far?' Aram mused.  
'I focused more on the operational details.' _Of course he did_. Angus was just like Aram in that neither of them had any real fascination with gossip. He focused only on the case details that he needed to work with, without going over an innocent victim or witness' excess personal information just for the sake of interest.   
'Tom died,' Aram murmured quietly, after that moment of hesitation. 'Liz found out she was pregnant right after she was exonerated-' Angus let out a low whistle '-and Tom tried to find out more about her past for her and Sammy... But he was killed for it, before Sammy was born.'  
'Jeez...'  
'Yep...'  
'And I thought I had it rough,' Angus sighed, glancing once more across the grass at Liz and Samar still engrossed in their own conversation.  
'You do,' Aram tried to point out.  
'It's not the same.' Angus shook his head bitterly. 'I could have chased after Molly when she left, but I didn't. I chose to take Riley and do this myself... If your partner dies, you don't have the option of begging them to come back.'

Aram opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off by Riley launching at him from behind, throwing his little arms over Aram's shoulders and ducking his head over to say hi. Leila and Sammy had stopped ambling around and now sat in the grass by Aram's feet, pushing around Sammy's pile of wooden blocks and trying to copy the small stacked tower Aram had built for them earlier.  

Aram reached around, tousling the almost three year old's sandy hair... And off Riley went running around the garden again.  

'Angus,' Aram cautiously spoke again, eyeing the way that not only was Angus intermittently casting his gaze in Liz's direction, but Liz was doing the same to him too. 'You're both my friends. Please don't make this awkward.'  
'What made you think that's where my mind was going?' Angus asked drolly in response. Aram simply raised a knowing eyebrow.   
'You're one of the most genuine guys I know, but you're hard to impress,' he observed. 'You've barely spoken to her but you've already got that look on your face.'  
'I just think what she's doing is admirable, Aram,' Angus said, with a nonchalant shrug. 'What do you think I'm going to do? Ask her on a date over the phone from the middle of the Pacific? I fly back out there day after tomorrow.'  
'I'm just saying, she's got enough on her plate at the moment.' Aram's voice was gentle, but still warning.   
'I know.'  
'Good.' The warning look on Aram's face instantly vanished, in favour of a teasing smirk. 'Because if you didn't, you'd have your ass kicked.'  
'You wouldn't,' Angus gasped in mock horror.   
'No, I wouldn't.' Aram shook his head, and then grinned mischievously, 'but Samar would.' Angus rolled his eyes in mock exasperation.   
'Can I ask her out for coffee, as a _friend_ , when I move back here? Riley seems quite taken with Sammy, they could have play dates like he would with Leila.'  
' _When_ you move back here?'  
'You didn't answer my question,' Angus mused.   
'I thought it was an _if,_ ' Aram shot back. Angus paused, tilting his head like he was undecided on how to explain.   
'It _was_ an if. Now it's a when,' he said quietly. 'NSA approved the transfer just before I flew out here. Once my secondment in the Pacific is up next year, I can come back.'  
'You didn’t tell me that...'  
'Technically I'm not supposed to tell anyone that yet.' Aram tipped his head, recognising that it was true. He knew how the NSA worked, especially when it came to assignments like Angus'. Aram wasn't even supposed to know half of what he did about what his friend's job.   
'In that case... In answer to your question,' he began slowly, 'coffee is up to Liz. Samar and I don't make her decisions for her.'  
'I'm just checking,' Angus said, smiling with amusement. Aram rolled his eyes; the funny thing was, Angus and Liz _would_ probably make good friends. They had a strong foundation from which they could easily understand one another and the reality was, so much of Liz's social circle outside of work had vanished with her time spent as a fugitive and she was still working on pulling it all back together. Likewise, with being assigned to a classified base far from the mainland, Angus' social circle wasn't much better. In fact, it was even narrower. Plus... And Aram couldn't help but grin at the idea... With himself and Samar in the middle, once Angus was able to return home once and for all, he and Liz would probably see more of each other anyway, by sheer merit of larger gatherings like birthdays or holidays.  

And, for all of Angus' teasing, Aram knew... He really did respect his boundaries. He was the quirky gentleman in that respect; a lot like Aram but just ever so slightly more outspoken. He also knew Aram as well as Aram knew him... And it wasn't hard to see that Aram was protective of Liz.

'You wouldn't stop Samar if she tried to kick my ass, would you?' Angus chuckled.  
'Nope.' Aram narrowed his eyes, but all Angus could do was clap him on the shoulder as he slowly began to rise from the grass. From the barbecue, Naveed was gesturing for them all to come back because dinner was finally ready.   
'You're a good brother, man,' Angus observed with a laugh. All Aram could do was roll his eyes in exasperation.  

/*/*/*/*

Dinner moved on to birthday cake –a cake that Mehri had made shaped like a _dalek_ from Doctor Who at that- and then it was late enough that all three kids were sleepy, and all the adults had to go their separate ways to put them to bed.  

Aram sat up in bed, reflecting on the day with a content smile on his face. Leila was asleep, Samar was brushing her teeth and would be back in a moment... And Aram just couldn't wipe that smile from his face. From the elaborately planned fake mystery he'd had to solve, to the evening spent sitting back enjoying everyone's company and catching up with Angus, it had been a great day.  

The door to the room opened just enough for Samar to re-appear, and then close it behind her.  

'Do you remember how on your birthday last year you weren't sure how you were going to top that for my birthday this year?' Aram thought aloud. Samar, busily tugging at the hair tie in her pony tail in an effort to pull it out before bed, glanced back at him curiously.   
'Yeah?'  
'You have _definitely_ outdone me today...'  
'To be honest, it was just supposed to be a helicopter ride, and then it spiralled out of hand,' Samar mused, tilting her head sheepishly. 'Angus was even supposed to be the hostage at first, but then your mom volunteered herself and your dad.'  
'Well I'm glad, because it was brilliant,' Aram laughed. 'But you know what's not fair now?'  
'What?' Finally, Samar released the tie from her hair and shook out her curls. She dropped the hair tie on the nightstand, before sitting beside him on the edge of the bed.  
'You've had ten months to plan between your birthday and mine,' Aram pointed out, 'but there's only two between today and your next one. There's no way I'm going to be able to beat this.'  
'Then don't,' Samar said, grinning mischievously.   
'What do you mean?'  
'It's not supposed to be a competition. Your fortieth is next year and I don't think I can top today either for that,' she observed, shrugging nonchalantly. Samar leaned in a little further, pausing before speaking again, just to kiss him. 'Besides, you know I like simple things... I'd be more than happy just with a dinner,' she added softly.   
'Hmmm...' Aram furrowed his brow, contemplating the idea. Just a simple dinner didn't seem enough, not when he so loved to spoil her as well.  
'I'm sure you'll figure it out,' Samar mused. She leaned in to kiss him again, before whispering softly in his ear; 'in the meantime, there's still one more birthday promise I owe you...' Aram raised an eyebrow, now gazing curiously at her robe –it was closed, but only loosely- and he instantly flashed back to her joking promise made back in February on their anniversary... That he would have the chance to see her as Wonder Woman again.   
'I didn't think you were serious,' Aram murmured. His fingers brushed the hair back off her face and tucked it behind her ear, before running softly down her arms and settling along her waist. The cord to her robe sat tantalisingly close... Samar didn't pull away. She was waiting for him to reveal that blue, red, and gold ensemble, for himself. Finally, taking her silence as his cue, Aram slowly twisted his fingers around the dangling end of the cord and gave it that gentle tug... Allowing the robe to fall open.   
'I still feel ridiculous like this,' Samar chuckled, shaking her head. But Aram simply wrapped his arms around her waist, pulled her in close, and kissed her back.   
'You still don't _look_ ridiculous,' he whispered, grinning against her cheek. The robe fell back entirely, slipping from her shoulders and dropping off the edge of the bed to the floor. She settled happily into his arms as they slowly ran their way up and down her sides, now grinning back.   
'Happy birthday, Aram.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, 'Bubbles'... But will little miss Leila's first birthday go entirely to plan?


	69. Bubbles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Wednesday, August 23, 2017.

'No.' Samar's voice echoed in the war room, before she even realised what she was saying. Everyone in the room; Liz, Aram, Ressler, Cooper, and Reddington all suddenly stared back at her. With their latest case, Reddington had them pursuing an illegal arms dealer known in certain circles as 'the Baron of Bullets', who was making sudden and sizable attempts to conquer the entire underground arms market of the Eastern seaboard. The Baron was on the FBI's radar too, but he was the sort of criminal who like Reddington, fancied himself a businessman... Only _unlike_ Reddington, the Baron refused to do his own dirty work –or at least, the overwhelming majority of it. With him using a significant network of contractors for hire, it was difficult for the Bureau to pinpoint the Baron's crimes on him directly... Or at least, so said the file.

Naturally, Reddington claimed something different.

The Baron was making moves that were starting to push Reddington's associates of the same trade out of business and so, he had offered to lead the taskforce towards the one piece of evidence that could put away the Baron and his network for good; a flash drive on which the Baron kept all of his business records, but that was hidden away in a secret partition within his mansion that had never been found despite numerous Bureau raids on the property in the past.  

Of course, this was Reddington making the offer, and so it came with a catch. What he wanted in return, was something that had been stolen from him years earlier, and that had since made its way into the Baron's hands.  

Except, because Reddington had such a flair for the extravagant, his suggestion as to how they make their way into the Baron's property to steal not one but _two_ items, was to send Liz, Samar and Ressler all undercover together on his behalf to an extravagant cocktail party that the Baron was throwing for his own birthday. Apparently, like Reddington, the Baron fancied himself as much a charmer as he did a businessman. Reddington described him with notable distaste, arguing that _unlike_ him, the Baron was an arrogant, blatant misogynist who only invited men to his parties with the expectation that each of them would bring _two_ dates –one on each arm, so to speak- in order to fill his ball room with beautiful women. 

_That_ was why Reddington was insisting that all three agents go undercover; Ressler as his emissary to send along a birthday gift, and Liz and Samar as the dates… And just to convince Cooper that it was a good idea, Reddington had pointed out that having all three go to the party would increase the chances of being able to steal both necessary items quickly, and without detection.

...Except, there was one, slight flaw in the plan... Which was to say, Samar, Ressler, Liz, and Aram all had other plans for that very same evening, and _that_ was precisely why Samar had made her outburst.

It was Leila's birthday.

Aram shifted uncomfortably in his seat in response to Samar's sudden interjection. Ressler shifted equally uncomfortably in the spot where he stood next to Aram's desk. Between them, Liz's eyes widened in alarm. All three were unhappy with the suggestion, and all three knew how inconvenient a day it was for Reddington to propose such an event.  
'Excuse me?' Cooper asked slowly, shooting Samar a warning look. Samar bit her lip, realising what she had just said. It had slipped out before she could even stop herself. One moment she had been listening carefully to Reddington's suggestion, and with distinct interest too. Then she had heard exactly what day it was that the party was supposed to be held –that very evening- and a pit had instantly sunk itself in the depths of her stomach... And she had instinctively responded, accidentally cutting Reddington off mid-sentence.   
'Agent Navabi, I'm aware of what day it is and that it's not ideal,' Reddington commented flatly, 'but unfortunately, this is the only opportunity to get both what you need, _and_ what I need from the Baron.'

/*/*/*/*

Needless to say, it was set; Samar, Liz, and Ressler were sent home to prepare for the evening's festivities, or as Reddington gleefully referred to it; the evening's delightful heist... Or as Cooper preferred to describe it; the evening's covert recovery of evidence. Then, off they had to go. Aram took the moment to stop by home with Samar too; after all, there wasn't a lot he could do in the war room while the others were otherwise preoccupied. Not to mention, while the others were at the Baron's mansion, Aram had to be back at his desk, guiding them and running the communications. Going home for the moment was the only real break he was going to have all day. 

None of them were particularly impressed, but orders were orders.  

Samar stood, with the lights dimmed, just beside Leila's crib. Her hair and makeup was already done –her hair straightened with just a light curl at the end, and her makeup a little heavier than usual, with smokey grey eyeshadow and bright red lipstick- but she hadn't yet gone so far as to put on her dress. That was to be the last step, but for the moment she stood in her robe, cradling Leila to her chest. Given the day, Samar had wanted to make a point of spending as much of that time with Leila as possible until Aram took her with him back to the Post Office... Leila had finally fallen asleep, one tiny hand latched tightly onto the neckline of Samar's robe, and her head of wild, mahogany curls nuzzled against Samar's shoulder. Still, Samar stood there, just enjoying the quiet, peaceful moment with her little girl. 

Without her even noticing at first, Aram quietly appeared in the doorway, smiling softly as he watched them.  

'I found Mr Spikes,' he whispered. 'He was wedged between the couch cushions again.' Samar glanced back over her shoulder at the beloved green and purple dinosaur that Aram was holding up. With Leila toddling everywhere with her favourite toy, setting things down in random places every five minutes as she picked up something new that had caught her eye, it was easy to lose track of where in the apartment the fuzzy dinosaur ended up... But it was far less easy to settle her without it. Aram eyed Leila curled up, still and quiet, against Samar's shoulder, as he silently moved from the door to standing by Samar's side. 'She asleep yet?' He whispered again.  
'Just,' Samar murmured back softly. She bit her lip, internally trying to convince herself that having to postpone Leila's birthday dinner in favour of working late, wasn't such a terrible thing after all. 'At least everyone who was supposed to see her tonight did actually see her at the Post Office this morning...' Samar began reluctantly, before trailing off again. Her eyes rose to meet Aram's gaze, wordlessly questioning. 'Right?'  

Aram's gaze dropped, wistfully watching Leila instead.  

'It's not the same,' he said miserably, and shaking his head. Aram gently ran his fingers through those mahogany curls as he spoke again; 'It's her birthday today. Her _first_ birthday.' He paused, gritting his teeth for a moment. Samar wasn't wrong; with Aram's parents back in Delaware, packing for their move, there wasn't anyone invited to Leila's birthday dinner that evening who _wasn't_ attached to the Post Office... But that didn't matter. Samar was annoyed that they had been deprived of their special evening, regardless of the fact that a dinner could theoretically be held any other next night just as easily. And, though she was trying to talk herself into being ok with the turn of events, it didn't change the principle of it -not for her, nor for Aram either. 'She doesn't really know that, I know... But _we_ do,' he added.   
'She sees them all at the Post Office _every_ morning, this evening was supposed to be special,' Samar sighed, agreeing with him and officially giving up all pretence of anything otherwise.  

Silence fell between them for a moment. Samar tilted her head to lean bitterly against Aram's shoulder and he, in equally disappointed solidarity, tilted his head to lean against hers. Both of them continued to enjoy the quiet for a moment, the air filled with no sound beside that of Leila's occasional, low sleep-grumbling. Finally, Samar gave another sigh, and slowly lowered Leila into her crib. She watched as Aram in turn, nestled in Mr Spikes in by Leila's side, turning the dinosaur around at just the right angle so that it was tucked into her elbow. They watched her sleeping peacefully for one more minute, before Samar slowly turned –Aram right on her heels- and trailed out of the room. 

'Decided yet?' Aram asked with a sigh, as they took the few steps down the hallway from Leila's room, towards their own, and rounded the corner through the doorway. Samar shot him a half-hearted smile, waving her hand in lackadaisical gesture at the array of evening dresses hanging in their walk in wardrobe.  
'Nope...' Samar stood just inside, staring at them all with her lip quirked in half-hearted contemplation. Aram stood just off to her side, curiously awaiting her decision. Samar had a number of choices for fancy eveningwear hanging there, all of different colours and styles. Most of them she had acquired over the course of her Mossad career, usually for the sort of one-off undercover assignments that required her to dress up or attend some fancy occasion. She didn't often have the opportunity to wear them besides that, which was why they hung right at the back of the wardrobe, and why she just tended to rotate through them based on what sort of dress she needed per assignment. It just wasn't worth buying a new dress each time, not when she only needed them a couple of times a year. One by one, Samar pulled three of them out of the wardrobe and laid them out across the bed to compare them properly. For the third time she returned to the wardrobe, gazing indecisively back at the colourful fabrics. The three she had already picked out were probably the final three she was going to pick from, but... Samar couldn't help but linger over one in particular that caught her eye every time. 

Navy blue cotton, and _covered_ in intricate embroidery of every colour imaginable. It was long sleeved, slightly longer than knee length, and with a square neckline, almost tunic-like, but dressier and more flowy. The embroidery ran all down the front from top to bottom -even over the wide front pocket- all the way down both sleeves, and all the way around the bottom hem; lines of tiny flowers and other fine patterning everywhere.  

Samar reached out, allowing her fingers to lightly trace over the fabric and lines of tiny, beautiful stitching... And allowing all the memories to come flooding back. It was the traditional style of dress where she had grown up, worn with loose-fitting pants, that once upon a time she had worn quite regularly –albeit, when she was considerably smaller and the designs she wore daily weren't nearly so detailed. The one that remained hanging in her wardrobe now was special, one that she had worn on rare occasions since receiving it... But that Samar was never going to let go of. It was made for her long ago with the intent that she grow into it and hold onto it forever...

...And it was made by her mother.

Samar smiled softly as she flashed back to the day her mother had finished the final stitch and held it up for her to see. It had been such a happy moment, Samar had fallen in love with the embroidery from the second she had laid eyes on it. Aram stood silently by her side now, watching her fingertips trace those lines of flowers. He knew what it was, having seen it hanging there in the wardrobe, but normally he only caught glimpses of it hanging amongst all the other bright fabrics.   
'I haven't worn this in a long time...' Samar mused wistfully.   
'It's beautiful,' Aram murmured, smiling softly in response. Samar gazed at the fabric for a moment longer, almost as if missing the idea of wearing it, until she let out a sigh and turned back around to face the three dresses that still lay strewn across the bed, awaiting her choice. She didn't have a huge amount of time left to get ready but somehow, it was always a difficult decision. Aram eyed the embroidered fabric in the wardrobe for a second longer than she did, deep in thought as an idea came to mind.  

'Do you have a preference?' Samar's voice jolted him from his mind's contemplative wanderings. Aram glanced over his shoulder and then shuffled quickly back to her side as Samar gestured lackadaisically at the three dress choices.   
'I think your preference is more important than mine,' Aram pointed out, with a hint of amusement. Samar simply shrugged, staring back at the dresses again.   
'I'm just curious,' she murmured. Not that she noticed, but Aram's eyes couldn't help but linger on the dress on the far left of the row. He did have a preference, and it was a deep, cherry red.  
'Ok, what sort of look are you going for?' Aram asked instead, shifting awkwardly on the spot. It was far from his field of expertise, but there was little else he could really do to help hurry along the decision making process. Samar looked up, her eyes twinkling back at him with hints of amusement and mischief.   
'Revealing enough to get me in the front door, but not so much that I can't avoid attention when I sneak away to steal evidence,' she replied, all too drolly. Aram rolled his eyes in mock exasperation, then turned his attention back to the three dresses at hand.   
'Hmmm...' He hummed, panning his gaze from one, to the second, the third, and then back across all three again. Despite his better judgement, Aram couldn't help but linger over the red one. Warily, he pointed at it. 'What about that one?' A small smile crossed Samar's face; the red dress certainly did meet the criteria. With the high neckline and nearly elbow length sleeves, the flowy, floor length gown certainly wasn't so revealing that she couldn’t hide in plain sight. And yet, at the same time, the wide open back that swept in an almost triangle shape from the nape of the neck, deep down under the arms and halfway around the waist to the point that the lace lined bodice was really only attached to the skirt at the front, meant that Samar would _indeed_ be guaranteed to get through the door.  

In short, it was perfect.

Wordlessly, Samar picked up the dress and slipped it on.  
'Help me with the back?' She asked softly, turning on the spot so that her back was to Aram. Almost immediately, Aram did as asked, easily closing the clasp that was just out of Samar's reach. Samar turned on the spot once more so that he could see the dress from the front, but this time with a little more flourish. The skirt of the dress billowed around, almost as if it was floating around her as she moved. And with her dark hair flipped so that it sat all tumbling down over one shoulder, Aram couldn't help but gape at how beautiful she was.   
'Whoa,' he breathed slowly. Samar let out a wry smile.  
'So, you think I'll get through the door?' She chuckled. Ever so carefully so as not to ruin the time Samar had spent styling it, Aram brushed the few loose strands back off her face, staring back at her in amazement.  
'I think you look stunning.'

/*/*/*/*

'Ok, let's get this over with,' Ressler muttered, more to himself than to Liz or Samar. His car pulled up past the front fountain, along the wide horse-shoe shaped driveway and stopped. All three paused for a split second to take a breath... To once and for all take on board those undercover personas that they had to embody for the next couple of hours... And then, Ressler pushed open the driver's side door. He stepped out of the car, forcing himself to try and walk far less purposefully than he normally would, and with a little more swagger instead. He reached for the rear passenger door, and then held that open too, outstretching his other hand to help Liz, then Samar in turn, each out of the car. Within seconds, Ressler had one of them wrapped around each arm, and he had handed over the car key to the valets in charge of what was essentially a giant Tetris battle with every guest vehicle.  

The wide false smiles and soft, simpering giggles that Liz and Samar both put on as they fawned over either side of Ressler masked the flickering eyes that panned the scene before them and took in every detail; other guests, the layout of the mansion, and the formations of security guards dotted all the way around. The trio strolled towards the exquisite marble archway of the front entrance, Liz even taking extra care to act slightly wobbly on her feet as if having already had a little too much to drink, until the guard at the front door stopped them and eyed them up and down.  
'Invitation?' The guard grunted to Ressler, though his gaze remained leering fixatedly at Samar. Despite his better judgement, Ressler shifted uncomfortably on the spot. Having Liz and Samar either side of him, dressed like that, and having to act the way they were, while he had to act like they were nothing but his flirtatious, seductive arm candy, was far from Ressler's comfort zone. For one, he didn't like the attitude of the whole idea; he saw Samar and Liz pulling their own weight and then some out in the field every day, it didn't seem right to be dragging them along as he was, regardless of the fact it was merely a cover. And secondly, he really, _really_ , did not like the almost drooling gaze that the security guard had directed at Samar.  

And if the way her grasp tightened instinctively around his forearm was any indication, Ressler was pretty sure Samar really didn't like it either.

Finally, an in the attempt to shake off the irritation, Ressler reached into the inner pocket of his suit jacket, pulling out the invitation Reddington had given him earlier, and handing it over. The guard managed to peel his eyes away from Samar just long enough to scan across the words on the paper.  
'Raymond Reddington tell you he was sending me along in his place?' Ressler tried to drawl, glancing back at the guard with one eyebrow raised in disdain.   
'Indeed, he did,' the guard muttered, handing the invitation back.   
'He sends his apologies for the fact he couldn't be here in person,' Ressler spoke again, before gesturing lackadaisically at the door. 'May we?' The guard looked them suspiciously up and down one more time, taking that extra second to linger over Samar, before finally giving an impatient nod and stepping aside to allow them through.  

The grand ballroom of the mansion was filled with well over three hundred people. The sea of formal evening gowns that outnumbered the suits two to one, filled the room with every shade of every colour imaginable. The Baron stood just where Reddington said he would be at the start of the evening; standing tall along the rail of an upper level, gazing down at all his guests... And in a loose fitting, white suit with a black shirt and bright red tie, he looked every bit as clichéd and tacky as Reddington had described as well. The Baron's gaze swept over each and every guest who entered the ballroom through yet another marble archway, and Samar couldn't help but notice that his was yet another gaze that lingered on her just a little too long for comfort. Regardless, and despite the hair prickling on the back of her neck, she continued through the crowd with Liz and Ressler, mixing and mingling, swaying slightly to the music of the jazz band playing on the stage at the other end of the room, and generally trying not to step on anyone's toes.   
'It seems you're the more exotic date, and I'm the boring one this evening,' Liz murmured from Ressler's other side. Still, the flirtatious smiles were wide on both their faces. Liz had spent the entire drive over joking that Samar looked ever the exotic beauty, and that she was boring in comparison –mostly in the midst of _both_ of them teasing Ressler about they way they would both have to hang off his arms, and annoy him by giggling in his ears all evening. If it weren't for the added frustration of missing Leila's planned birthday dinner, that might have been the one joke to ease the discomfort and help them find some sense of amusement in the entire charade. Instead, in the end, the jokes fell slightly flat... But that didn't stop Liz from trying to find something to lift _both_ their spirits.   
'You both look lovely,' Ressler murmured back, glancing pointedly back at Liz. Samar nodded her agreement; for all Liz's joking, she really did look just as stunning. Her gown was navy blue, bringing out the bright blue of her eyes. It was long sleeve, and fitted all the way down with a slim skirt that split up to mid-thigh. Like Samar's, Liz's dress too, had a high neckline and an open back, but in Liz's case the back was wide open across the shoulders and formed a V shape to the small of her back where it met with the shiny, satin ribbon band around the waist that tied in a bow and trailed down along the skirt. Liz broke her act just long enough to let out a soft, appreciative smile in response.  
'Aram, are you ready?' Samar muttered quietly through the comms.  
'Yep, ready when you are,' Aram's voice echoed back in her ear. Back at his desk in the war room, Aram watched three coloured tracker dots –one for each Ressler, Liz, and Samar- moving together through the schematics of the mansion that he had on his computer screen. 'You'll want to make your way upstairs, then turn left into the hallway.' Either side of Ressler, Samar caught Liz's eye, and Liz discreetly nodded back. The Baron had finally made his move downstairs as more and more guests had arrived, meaning upstairs was clear and that in turn, meant one thing;

It was time to move.

'Honey,' Liz spoke up ever so sweetly, clutching Ressler's arm to capture his attention, and then batting her eyelids. Ressler warily shifted his gaze back to her. 'Do you think you could get us some drinks while we visit the bathroom for a moment? A glass of bubbles would be _perfect_.' It took everything Ressler had not to roll his eyes but instead, he managed to nod. He made a show of slipping his arms from both of their respective grasps, planting a kiss on each of their cheeks, and dismissively waving them away, before turning and heading towards the bar.

In reality, the bar was on yet another slightly raised platform over to the opposite side of the room from the bottom of the staircase... Which was to say, it made a _great_ vantage point for Ressler to watch the crowd and the security rotation heading in and out of the area Liz and Samar were targeting. Liz and Samar strode away from him, Liz just a few steps ahead of Samar, but both of them aiming as planned earlier, for the staircase.   
'I'll go first, and you watch the crowd?' Liz murmured to Samar behind her through the comms.   
'Yep,' Samar cautiously muttered back. Trying to act natural –or at least, natural within the context of the ritzy guests in the ballroom- Liz took the first few strolling steps up the stairs. Samar waited for a beat longer at the bottom, scanning the crowd one last time to make sure nobody was paying Liz too much attention before she too, began the ascent. 'Ok you're clear,' Samar muttered again. 'I'll be right behind you.'  
'One good thing about being the boring date,' Liz chuckled softly as she reached the top of the stairs and rounded the corner to the left. 'Nobody will even notice that I've slipped away.' Still only three quarters of the way up the stairs, Samar rolled her eyes in exasperation.  
'You're not the boring date,' she commented. Samar too, then finally rounded the corner into the hallway... Liz was still a few feet ahead as planned.   
'Hey, I'm not complaining,' Liz pointed out, 'I don't know how you're dealing with all the leering eyes on you.'  
'Too many Mossad operations,' Samar muttered back. 'They're uncomfortable, but I've learned to ignore them.'  
'Ok Liz, you want the office now,' Aram's voice interjected. 'Keep heading down that hallway, make a left at the end, and then it should be the door right after the bedroom.' Samar's gaze stared intently at Liz those few feet ahead of her. According to the map, Liz had to go a further along the hallway, which was why she had gone ahead first. At the opposite end of the hallway from the staircase, there was a T-junction with another corridor, the far side of which was lined with huge windows overlooking the view from the front of the property. 'Samar, you need the library,' Aram spoke again. 'It's on your left, just after the bathroom.' Samar paused outside the door on her left, watching and waiting for Liz to reach the far end of the corridor and make her own left into the next corridor. The trail of navy fabric disappeared around the corner out of Samar's view as Liz turned, and that was Samar's cue. Her fingers clasped around the handle of the library door... And pushed it open.

Around the corner, and just seconds later, Liz too, slipped unseen into the office.  

/*/*/*/*

With Aram's guidance and Reddington's information, finding the flash drive in a wall partition hidden behind one of the library's extensive bookshelves and then slipping it into her purse wasn't an overly difficult task for Samar, nor was the task swiping Reddington's coveted treasure from the Baron's office for Liz. The tricky part, was creeping back out of those respective rooms unseen into the hallway, when neither of them could see each other or the guards potentially patrolling outside.  

Their only insight on whether or not it was safe to proceed, was Ressler still standing at the ballroom bar, watching and counting the rotations of the guards moving past.

Ressler knew the rough path of the rotation, and while standing watch he had timed each one. With Samar and Liz having confirmed there were no guards in the hallway when they first slipped into the office and library, Ressler also knew at roughly what point in the timing the hallway would be clear, and there he stood... Keeping time of each rotation as it passed, waiting for the crucial moment where the timing would line up _just_ right again.  

It wasn't the most ideal method, but it was the best they had.

'Ok, you should be clear...' Ressler began under his breath so the crowd around him wouldn't hear. 'Now.' Behind the library door, Samar took a breath and then pulled it open. She looked up and down the hallway cautiously; indeed, it was clear. Samar took a step just to her right, so she stood by the door to the bathroom instead.  
'Liz, confirming the hallway is clear,' she muttered. Samar's eyes stayed alert and scanning, waiting for Liz to re-appear around the corner from the office, and bracing herself to move at any moment if the guards re-appeared first. Her gaze lingered on the window end, rather than the staircase end, subconsciously hurrying Liz along in her mind.  
'Hey, you,' a suspicious, deep voice called out from behind her. Samar whipped around on the spot, turning to face the guard now marching towards her out of one of the other rooms that opened into the hallway. Back at Aram's desk, and back at the ballroom bar, both Aram and Ressler cringed as they heard the guard's voice over the comms. This was precisely why the plan to time the rotations wasn't failsafe; it was all based on estimations, and the hope that no guard would slip away from his rotation into another room only to re-appear later. 'What are you doing up here?' The guard's voice boomed again. Samar forced a brief wobble on the spot and a flirtatious smile.  
'Oh,' she began, fluttering her eyelids innocently, and gesturing to the bathroom door, 'I just had to use the ladies room.' She took another step closer to the guard so that she stood barely inches from him, swaying on her feet as if drunk.  
'Then why are you still standing out here instead of going back to the party?' The guard grunted back, staring back at her with one suspicious eyebrow raised. Samar outstretched one hand, running it seductively down the guard's arm.  
'I'm just waiting for my friend,' Samar sighed dramatically, before gesturing down the hallway towards the window. 'She saw the window and wanted to admire the view.' That at least, gave Liz an excuse to come rounding the corner back to them. Samar paused for a moment, watching the guard's eyes flicker up and down admiring her dress. 'Say, did you want to join me back here? My friend could be a while...'  

'Hey,' Liz's voice followed her around the corner as she reappeared at the window end of the hallway, and jolted the guard from his longing gaze at Samar. Liz however, ignored him entirely in favour of rolling her eyes amusedly at Samar. She had heard Samar's faux-drunk cover over the comms, and could easily follow the lead. 'You couldn't even wait two minutes without me?' Liz chuckled, adding a fake drunken air of her own.  
'Hey _Lizzie_ ,' Samar slurred back, giggling over the use of Liz's nickname. She stared back at the guard with a pout of dejection before she stage-whispered; 'pity, she didn't admire the view as long as I thought she would.'  
'You should keep your hands to yourself, pal,' Liz tutted to the guard, as she came to a stop beside of him and Samar. 'Do you know who we're here with?' She added, 'he'll beat you to a pulp if he sees you getting all handsy with her.'  
'Ugh, you spoil all my fun,' Samar sighed to Liz, before pretending to disappointedly push the guard away. 'Sorry, sweetie,' she muttered to him. 'Back to the party, we go.' Liz took Samar's arm, and before the guard could even begin to protest, she pulled Samar along the hallway past him, back towards the staircase.  

The guard shook his head in annoyance, but then carried on with his saunter in the opposite direction down the hallway.

'Nice cover,' Liz murmured to Samar as they reached the top of the stairs, shooting her an earnest smile. Samar's quick thinking and use of the way so many people were eyeing her up and down, had given Liz the easy opportunity to get away from the office without being questioned by the guard. But all Samar could do, was give Liz a grateful nod of her own. After all, it was Liz's quick thinking that had allowed them to finally get away.   
'Nice save to you too,' she murmured back.  

Liz simply grinned, and both of them scanned the crowd in the ballroom as they slowly descended the stairs.

Ressler let out a relieved smile as they both caught his eye where he still stood at the bar, watching and waiting for them to return. Unnoticed by anyone else around him, he raised his champagne glass ever so slightly... Just enough for Liz and Samar to see and know exactly what he meant.  

Their job was done... Now it was time to get out of there and go home.  

/*/*/*/*

Aram was still at his desk when the trio stepped out of the elevator and stepped back into the war room, tired and mildly dishevelled, but still triumphant. Both Leila and Sammy were sound asleep in their carriers parked side by side next to his desk, and Aram was struggling to wipe the smile from his face.  

Liz, Ressler, and Samar all came to a simultaneous halt as their eyes registered the sight in front of them -the very sight that Aram was smiling at.

'What is-' Ressler began, then cut himself off, shaking his head in amazed disbelief. Right there, on a newly cleared desk in front of Aram, was an array of colourful balloons and a wide spread of takeout boxes filled to the brim with steaming, fresh Chinese food.  
'Mr Reddington had it delivered, not too long ago,' Aram explained with a grin. In fact, Reddington, with Dembe at his heels, had strolled in right around the same moment Samar had called to say they were on their way back. He had marched in, arranged the food on the table, gestured at the centre of it for Dembe to set down the weighted strings of helium filled balloons -which, Dembe then did- and then walked out again, all without a word or anything else besides a tip of his hat to Aram before stepping back into the elevator and disappearing as quickly as he had arrived.  

And on the largest balloon, the one that was right in the middle, was the phrase 'Happy Birthday' in giant, colourful, curly letters.

'Do we assume this is for all of us?' Samar asked, raising a curious eyebrow. Aram simply shrugged; it was far from standard for Reddington to bring them all dinner after an undercover assignment, especially at the Post Office he so hated but then again, it made no sense to assume anything to the contrary either -especially when it was still Leila's birthday… _Or at least_ , Samar thought as she glanced absentmindedly at the clock on the wall, _it was still Leila's birthday for another fifteen minutes anyway._  

And so they sat, all of them rolling their desk chairs from their respective offices and desks until they were all together around the table full of food and festive decoration.  
'We look ridiculous,' Ressler observed drolly, tugging open a box of fried rice. Aram cast his eye around the table the second those words came out of Ressler's mouth, instinctively self-conscious. Sitting in clanking office chairs around a metal desk that rolled around on wheels, eating out of to-go boxes in the middle of a classified government office converted from an old cement-pillared post office sorting facility... In fancy suits and polished dress shoes, or floor length evening gowns and dangerously high heels... Ridiculous was putting it mildly. It was an experience so bizarre it had to be lived to be believed, but in the best possible way.  
'Who cares?' Liz teased, outstretching her hand in the universal gesture to swap boxes with Samar. 'I'm hungry.' She and Samar swapped subtle glances just as they swapped boxes of food; hunger was only one factor in why it didn't matter in the slightest how ridiculous they all looked. All that mattered, was the fact that though it was far from the way that they wanted, they were still together, enjoying one another's company over a meal on Leila's birthday after all. It seemed such a trivial novelty in some ways, but after the disappointment and frustration of thinking that all their plans would have to be cancelled or postponed, it was joyous relief to return to the sight of a meal set for them, rather than going straight home exhausted and miserable.   
'Seconded,' Samar chuckled back, digging into the box of sweet and sour chicken she now had in hand.  
'Hang on,' Liz spoke again, pausing as she glanced at Samar, her eyes wide with sudden mischief, 'if this is birthday dinner, does that mean I can give you Leila's present now?' Samar looked up slowly from her food, eyeing Liz warily. Aram and Ressler both raised tentative, amused eyebrows, staring back and forth between them like they were watching a tennis match in slow motion. As far as Samar knew, her challenge with Liz ever since Sammy's birthday was still standing, and whatever Liz was about to present her with was going to be unspeakably messy. In fact, by now the suspense of waiting to see what it was, had Samar genuinely curious.   
'Go on, then,' she mused, lip twitching slightly at Liz impatiently –and visibly- trying to restrain herself from laughing with mischievous glee. In less than a second, Liz lurched from her chair, towards her office. Only a few more seconds later, and Liz returned, with a brightly wrapped gift that she set down on the table right in front of Samar.  

Samar suspiciously eyed the gift for a second longer, before Leila snoozing in her arms slowly began to squirm.

'Oh, look who's waking up,' Ressler quipped, as Leila's eyes flickered open.  
'Perfect timing,' Liz observed, grinning and still impatient for Samar to open the gift that sat right in front of her. From Samar's other side, Aram reached over to take the sleepy, grumbling toddler from her. Hands now free, Samar tore open one end of the wrapping paper, revealing the gift's contents... Silence filled the air for a brief pause as everyone but Liz gazed at it with the same mix of horror and amusement that had crossed Liz's face a month earlier.   
'Oh boy,' Aram muttered under his breath.

Ressler couldn't help but snicker just as Liz did.  

'Your Auntie Liz knows you way too well, little sprout,' he laughed, tousling Leila's hair from where he sat to Aram's other side. All Samar could do was shake her head in exasperation and disbelief.

Bath toys. That was what now sat on the table in front of her... _Because Leila didn't take enough delight already in splashing around in the bathtub and sending the bubbles flying with all the bath toys she had._ But now Liz was adding to that cache, with a sea creature themed, colour changing, grip mat that stuck to the bottom of the tub to stop newly walking toddlers from slipping every time they tried to explore their developing mobility while still in the water... As well as a large collection of colourful foam shapes, letters, numbers and sea creatures, that were designed to stick to the side edges of the tub when wet, to spell out words or depict amusing scenes. According to the packaging, the soft, non-toxic foam meant they were also safe for those still teething to gnaw on, and equally safe to be thrown around with all the bubbles. Just like the walker toy Samar had given Sammy, the choice of birthday present was practical and educational, but in the very way the kids loved most –in Leila's case, something that was destined to make mess by only increasing the amount of bubbles and bathwater splashed all over Samar, Aram, and the bathroom _every_ time Leila was placed in the tub.  

Though at this point, after all the ups and downs of the day, and nearly missing all plans for her little girl's first birthday, Samar could only see the funny side of Liz's gift. The frustrating side of being constantly splashed would come later, sure... But, after surviving the first year and everything that had happened in that time, it was simply a relief to manage to mark the occasion somehow. Samar couldn't help but grin at the sight of Leila now wedged sleepily between Aram and Ressler, both of them happily doting on her and chuckling over Liz's gift... All the while, Sammy dozed on in Liz's arms, while Liz herself leaned in from Samar's other side. Liz softly nudged Samar with her elbow to catch her attention and Samar turned her head, smiling softly back. Finally, they had both marked that first year, _together_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, Mehri and Naveed finally move, in 'Home'.
> 
> But for the moment, visual references for Samar and Liz's dresses :)  
> [](https://www.flickr.com/gp/152300685@N03/uyeD79)


	70. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Monday, September 4, 2017.

Leila giggled as Samar zoomed the spoon of yoghurt in her hand through the air like an airplane. Samar couldn't help but feel relieved at the wide smile that went hand in hand along with the yoghurt drool that ran its way down Leila's chin. Aram had left early Saturday morning for Delaware to help his parents finish packing up the contents of their house, and Leila had clearly noticed his absence. On and off ever since, she had glanced around whatever room she was in at the time, seemingly searching for him, before beginning to unhappily grumble... And though Samar had managed to settle her each time, it was rarely before the grumbling had quickly turned to miserable fussing. Now Monday, Aram was due back in just a few hours, in a convoy with his parents and the truck moving their furniture to their new apartment.   
'Nearly there, ladybug,' Samar murmured softly, wiping the last of the yoghurt drool from Leila's chin. 'Baba will be back soon.'  
'Babaaa,' Leila burbled back, copying the familiar word as she heard it.   
'Yeah, that's right,' she hummed in the up and down sort of voice that only made Leila giggle all the more so. Samar stood from her seat, stopping only to chuck Leila's chin and press a kiss to her forehead as she stepped past the high chair to take the breakfast dishes to the sink. 'And then we can go back to driving him crazy like we usually do,' Samar continued to chuckle, turning away from the sink and back to Leila. The little girl babbled again and quickly latched onto her mother's shirt, tiny fingers curling tightly into the sleeve as she was lifted from her high chair. 'What should we do first, hmm? Jump on him?' Samar asked, her lip quirking up with a hint of amusement. She blew a raspberry against Leila's cheek, making the toddler squeal in delight. 'Squeal at him?' Samar asked again, holding back a laugh. She blew another raspberry to Leila's other cheek, then dropped one hand to scoop up the beloved stuffed dinosaur from the table next to them and tucked it in between herself and Leila. 'Attack him with Mr Spikes?' She offered one final suggestion. Leila bounced herself happily in Samar's arms in response. 'Yeah, you know what that name means, don't you?' Samar chuckled. 'Just a couple more hours, Leila. Then he'll be back and we can do _all_ of those fun things.'

/*/*/*/*

Samar sat on the small, red brick retaining wall outside the front of the apartment building Mehri and Naveed were about to move into, having arrived before the convoy. Aram had estimated that they would arrive around midday sometime, traffic dependent, so Samar had made sure to arrive a little before. It seemed to be quite a nice place for them; the building was only one neighbourhood over in one direction from where Samar and Aram lived, and another neighbourhood over in the opposite direction from where Liz was. Mehri and Naveed had wanted to stay relatively close to all of them, but the building was _perfect_ in where it sat right in the middle. The garden out the front of the building was flourishing too, with thick, green hedges and tall, leafy trees that lined the entire street. It was also just one block down the street from a large, equally flourishing park, but the one factor that had Naveed particularly pleased was that even the building's rooftop was host to a garden almost as wide as the rooftop itself. According to the building's manager, the garden was supposed to be a collective effort maintained by the tenants, for the tenants, but very few actually took any interest in putting in the required work. That was the deciding factor for Naveed; he could downsize to an apartment, and still have a garden... And with his love of gardening, the manager had said that Naveed could take complete charge of the rooftop garden and do whatever he liked with it, if he wanted to.  

There was a soft breeze rustling through the trees and dancing across Samar's arms as Aram's car pulled into one of the parking spaces along the street.  

'Hey,' Samar mused, waving a casual hand in greeting. Aram hurried along the footpath towards her from the car, grinning widely.   
'Good morning,' he murmured back, leaning in to kiss her cheek, then the top of Leila's head. Samar simply smirked, taking a quick glance at her watch.   
'It's lunch time,' she deadpanned, eyeing the hands on the clock face that read 12:02.   
'I missed you too,' Aram laughed softly. Samar rose from the half-wall to standing, and Aram turned his attention to Leila held against her side. Aram outstretched his hands to take the happily babbling toddler into his own arms, closing his eyes for just that one extra second as he held her close for the first time in three days.   
'I did miss you,' Samar said, a soft, earnest smile tugging at her lips. She eyed the pure delight that lit up Leila's face, along with the animated babbles and squeals in her excitement at the reunion. 'So did Leila. She kept looking for you.'  
'Stopping in her tracks, looking around the room, then starting to grizzle?' Aram asked, curiously looking up again. Samar nodded, and Aram couldn't help but knowingly bow his head. He knew what that behaviour meant, and just how simultaneously adorable and heartbreaking it was to watch too. He had seen it enough times himself when Samar had gone away for her last temporary Mossad assignment. 'And here I thought she only did that when you weren't around,' he teased gently.  

Samar shot him a wry smile –twisted in a combination of shared guilt over their absences, and adoration of their little girl- just long enough before Mehri and Naveed's car pulled up and parked just behind Aram's.  

They stepped out of the car; first Mehri, then Naveed from the driver's side, and they both stopped hesitantly on the sidewalk right in front of the half wall and the steps that led towards the front door.   
'Ready to make this place your own?' Aram asked them. He tried to sound enthusiastic, to rally them into excitement at their new home, but the small, tentative smile that tugged at Mehri's lips was all he received in response. She and Naveed stood side by side at the bottom of the steps, huddled together and staring up at the huge apartment building in front of them. They were willing, but still cautious; after all, it was a big day, moving from what they had known as home since they were about as young as Samar and Aram were currently. Mehri leaned slightly into Naveed's side, taking his hand in hers. Naveed took a breath, and slowly but surely, he nodded. Aram and Samar swapped subtle glances, and just as slowly Samar pulled from her pocket the keys to the apartment that she had picked up for them a few days before. All together, they walked up the steps and towards the front door.

Samar inserted the key and turned it, unlocking the door and holding it open...

...And Mehri and Naveed walked in.  

/*/*/*/*

The moving truck came and went; arriving not long after Mehri and Naveed had. The larger furniture was moved into place in the new apartment, filling its empty shell with the first touches of home... But only barely. The bookshelf and drawers were empty of their contents, the couch was missing its cushions and blankets, and so on. Boxes from the truck and the two cars were piled up in the hallway and spare room, still waiting to be unpacked and sorted.

It was going to be a while before it truly felt like home.  

Aram, Samar, Mehri and Naveed carried boxes around one by one, sorting them by room and figuring out what went where, all the while Leila toddled amongst them all up and down the hallway, contently babbling to either them or Mr Spikes. Nobody could really tell which. It wasn't ideal; all four were wary of her tangling about their legs while they were carrying boxes –precisely the reason Samar had stayed behind in DC with her while Aram had gone to Delaware- but their plan to build a makeshift playpen at the opposite end of the hallway out of boxes to keep her contained, had failed. None of them could figure out how, seeing as no box seemed out of place, and all of them were too tall for her to climb over... But somehow, after being placed in the circle with an abundance of toys that were supposed to keep her distracted, Leila had managed to escape –clearly finding the buzz of moving activity far more entertaining than the musical shape peg box that was part of her birthday gift from Mehri and Naveed. Samar was dumbfounded when Leila came hurtling towards her –none of them having even managed to see how she escaped even though the end of the hallway was technically visible to all of them- and stared in disbelief at the array of boxes. Aram on the other hand, simply shrugged. It didn't help that in recent days, Leila's walking that had grown faster and faster as she became steadier on her feet, had started to develop into a clumsy attempt at _running_... But once again it seemed to be one of those mysteries that could only be chalked up to the fact that the mischievous toddler was just like her mother; first, swiping a cookie from the coffee table months earlier, and now breaking free from her box pen. She definitely had that natural talent for covert, Houdini-like operations.  

For the moment, she toddled eagerly after Naveed, while all four adults shifted boxes in opposite directions. Aram grinned at the sight of her trying to give chase, and Naveed slowing in pace to allow her to catch up, and making up his own nonsense conversation in response to her babbling. Aram ducked out of the hallway, carrying a box destined for the kitchen, and still absentmindedly musing at the sounds of the babble talk he could hear from behind him. He set the box down on the counter... And then paused, curiously eyeing the floorboards below his feet.  

They had been sanded back and repolished just a few weeks earlier... And they still had that new-floor shine.

Another grin began to tug at Aram's lips –mischievously contemplative this time. Quickly glancing over his shoulder behind him to make sure that his parents and Samar were still busily shuffling up and down the hallway and not paying him any attention for a minute or two, Aram tugged off his shoes and wriggled his toes in his socks. He moved over to the far side of the kitchen so that the full length of the living room was in front of him. Then, Aram took a few quick steps of lead up...

...And then, with his arms wide for balance, he slid in his socks all the way across the living room floor.

Aram stopped himself just inches shy of the wall on the other side. He lowered his arms back to his side, chuckling to himself in satisfaction.   
'What are you doing?' Came a familiar, droll voice from the doorway that connected the room to the hall. Aram turned on the spot, grinning sheepishly. Samar stood there, shaking her head and eyeing him with a wry smile.   
'Sliding,' Aram said, doing his best to sound matter of fact. 'You know, testing the floor and all to make sure it's not too slippery.' Samar's lip twitched. Aram spotted it easily, but Samar was trying desperately to hold back the laugh at his antics.   
'Why?' She asked instead.  
'Why not?' Aram teasingly shot back. It was all too easy for him –unlike Samar- to feign a look of utter innocence when being mischievous, all the while speaking as if his antics were completely normal. The challenge then, was to keep it up until he could make Samar break into laughter. Today however, she was doing particularly well; she couldn't stop her lip from twitching, but a laugh still hadn't yet managed to escape her. Aram tilted his head, shooting her another gleeful look as she then rolled her eyes instead. 'Oh, you think you can do better?' He quipped.  
'Well...' Samar began, narrowing her eyes in her own attempt at mock matter-of-fact. 'I'm lighter than you, plus... You're not quite leaning the right way to make the most of the momentum... So, yes.' They locked eyes for a moment, each of them silently daring the other not to laugh at their ridiculousness first.   
'Challenge accepted,' Aram deadpanned, breaking the silence. He raised a single, wry eyebrow as he stepped to her side and made a flourishing gesture towards the floor in front of them both; 'by all means, show me how it's done.'  
'Making logical observations doesn't mean I'm actually going to try it.' Samar couldn't help but smirk. 'We'll crash into each other and probably hurt ourselves.'  
'Worried that I'd beat you after all?' It took everything Aram had, not to start snickering at the look on her face. It was one of thunder –not the angry kind, but the exasperated kind. The sort of look she always bore when she knew he had tricked her into backing herself into a corner.  

For all her pride in being completely unpredictable, and all her intent on keeping a straight face whenever he or Liz –or _both_ \- outwardly embraced their silly sides... It only took challenging Samar with the idea that she _couldn't_ do or be better at something, to finally convince her _to_ do or be better at it, no matter how ridiculous it was. It worked every time, and amused Aram to no end. She was just _that_ competitive.  

'Nope,' Samar teased. She shot Aram another look, finally breaking into a gleefully mischievous grin of her own this time, as she tugged off her boots. 'I'm worried I'll hurt your feelings when I kick your ass.' Aram lined up beside her at the far side of the kitchen, both of them wriggling their toes in their socks against the cool of the tiles.   
'Count down from three?' Aram mused. Samar simply nodded. 'Ok... Three.'  
'Two,' Samar murmured back. They swapped amused, competitive glances for a second before both counting simultaneously;  
'One.' Side by side they took those few running lead up steps until they both went sliding. Samar took the early lead, sliding just that split second faster. Aram leaned back just that little further to try and edge in front.

It took mere seconds to slide from one side to the other, but it all felt like they were travelling in slow motion.  

Aram leaned further again, but this time it was ever so slightly too far. He slipped, falling sideways and crashing on his side onto the floor and then continuing to slide. With his weight shifted lower he slipped forwards faster... And in having already moved sideways, he was moving forwards faster in entirely the wrong direction. Aram's eyes went wide as he realised what was about to happen, too late to be able to stop it.  

Aram went crashing into the back of Samar's legs.

Samar's knees buckled, her perfect slide broken by the sudden disruption of her balance. Her arms waved, trying to regain her balance and stop herself from falling, but instead she overcorrected, twisting too far. Samar fell, still sliding as Aram was, until she landed on top of him... Both of them stopping just shy of the wall once again. Aram lay on his back on the floor, with Samar having landed across him on her belly. Aram let out a muffled groan as Samar lifted her head to glance at him. Their eyes met, Aram gazing back at her adoringly no matter how much the fall had hurt. Even Samar couldn't help but start to chuckle. Aram's arms slipped around her waist, holding her close... And he began to laugh. His head rolled back against the floor and he laughed. They both did for a moment, laughing and ignoring the small, painful spots down their legs that were sure to bruise from the crash and the fall. Samar lifted her head again as the laughter began to slow and they both drew breath, and she smiled. Aram tilted his head to kiss her, smiling back just as happily.  
'Does that mean I win?' Samar whispered, all too pleased with herself.   
'Maybe,' Aram teasingly whispered back. 'Personally I think your slide was too good. When have you had practice that I haven't noticed?' Samar shrugged nonchalantly.   
'Floorboard sliding is an integral part of Mossad training,' she deadpanned.  
'Of course it is,' Aram chuckled, rolling his eyes in mock exasperation. He shook his head at the way her lip was twitching with amusement again. Sliding across the floorboards in their socks like children until they crashed and landed on top of one another... They really did look ridiculous, though not that either of them really cared.  

'Remember when we used to do that?' Mehri's voice sailed softly through the air from the same doorway Samar had been standing in earlier. Samar and Aram both turned their heads in an instant as the sound of her voice reached their ears; there, Mehri stood in the doorway, Naveed by her side, and Leila idling about their legs just in front of them. Mehri pointedly nudged Naveed with her elbow, prompting his attention to Samar and Aram's sock clad feet. 'Still the best way to make sure the floor's not too slippery,' Mehri continued to murmur gleefully to her husband. Naveed smirked in wordless response. In the very same moment, Samar pushed herself up off Aram, and then jumped back to her feet. Aram followed suit, just a second later, then couldn't help but grin and nudge Samar in turn as Mehri had nudged Naveed, when he heard those words.   
'See?' He mouthed to her. He shot her a pointed look, all too pleased that someone agreed with his justification for their ridiculous floor sliding. Samar rolled her eyes, but opted not to debate it with him –or at least, for the moment anyway.  

Both darted forwards somewhat sheepishly. Samar scooped up Leila from the floor, dotting a quick kiss to the babbling toddler's cheek. Aram ducked past his parents into the hallway to pick up another box that was destined for the kitchen. Samar and Mehri both poked their heads curiously around the doorframe when Aram didn't return as quickly as anticipated.  

Aram in turn, was peeking around the front door, out into the building's main corridor.  

'Aram, what are you doing now?' Mehri chuckled. Aram glanced back over his shoulder at them, grinning widely again.  
'Ssshhh,' he murmured. 'I heard some familiar voices on the approach.' Samar and Mehri both let out a small 'ah' of understanding, and Aram turned back to glancing around the front door. 'Looking for apartment twenty two?' He called down the corridor.  
'Hey!' This time Mehri and Samar too, heard the happy, familiar voice outside. Two seconds later, Aram stepped back out of the doorway to make space, and Liz appeared, with Sammy in tow. Sammy let out a squeal of delighted recognition at the sight of them all standing in the hallway.  
'I knew I recognised your voice,' Aram hummed to her, as Sammy smiled her wide, gummy smile back up at him. Mehri and Samar swapped small smiles of their own; Liz had said she would turn up at some point in the afternoon with coffee when they were all starting to grow tired of shifting boxes. And if the cardboard tray full of coffee cups from the local café -that Liz was balancing precariously in one hand while carrying Sammy with the other arm- was any indication, she hadn't been kidding. Aram took the tray off her hands, and Liz set Sammy free on her feet. Needless to say, Sammy darted forwards without a second's hesitation. Aram moved slightly sideways, out of Liz's way, then closed the door behind her.  
'I brought coffee, as promised,' Liz began, a soft smile lighting up her face as she followed Aram inside and observed Sammy running clumsily  ahead of her towards Leila and Samar. Liz held out a white paper bag, continuing to speak as the group reached the kitchen counter; 'and pastries, too. I thought you guys might need something a little more substantial than just coffee.'  

Mehri, Naveed, Aram, and Samar all let out gasps and grins of surprise and appreciation, all four of their bellies starting to rumble hungrily now that they had stopped for a second to actually think about food... After all, Samar had packed snacks for Leila, but other than that nobody had thought to bring lunch for themselves. But now, as Naveed set down the final box he was carrying amongst the stack on the counter, was the perfect time for a coffee break.  

'Oh...' Aram gasped, after taking his first bite of pastry. His eyes went wide  in awe as he caught sight of what sat in the top of that last box Naveed had set down. 'I haven't looked at those in ages...' From the top of the box, Aram pulled out one of a stack of old photo albums, and began flicking through its pages. Samar glanced over his shoulder, snickering at the pictures of him as a toddler looking all too delighted while covered in spaghetti sauce. Mehri pulled the next album out of the box and she too, began to flick through the pages.   
'Oh look, Aram. This one's your college years,' she started to laugh.   
'I still don't understand that haircut,' Naveed grumbled, shaking his head and warily eyeing the old photo of an early twenty-something Aram and Angus together, both with hair far more shaggy than the present. From Mehri's other side, Liz glanced at the picture too, and let out a snort of laughter at the matching messy haircuts.  

Naveed reached into the box, pulled out the next album. It seemed older than the other two, and Naveed stared wistfully for a moment at the cover that was faded and creased with age. A small, nostalgic smile began to etch its way across his face as he opened to a random page... Right to a picture of him and Mehri standing proudly outside their old home after having just bought it. Naveed hadn't been kidding when he had told Samar months earlier than when they bought the house, it had been falling apart at the seams. It was quite clearly still the same house, but it was a complete mess, with a front wooden beam still hanging snapped in two, and tiles falling off the roof, among other problems... But still, in the picture, Mehri and Naveed stood in front of the old house looking utterly delighted. Clearly, even back then, they had been able to look at the bare bones of the broken building and see it for the beautiful home they had eventually turned it into.  

One by one, every other photo album returned slowly, wordlessly to the counter, as everyone instead gazed at the photos on the pages Naveed was flicking through. Each one had a story, it seemed, that he and Mehri couldn't stop themselves from sharing; everything from Naveed's mischief at school, Mehri's misadventures in the kitchen while learning to be the excellent cook she was now, and the thrill of their young, blossoming romance that they'd had to keep secret for as long as possible –only to find out that their closest relatives already knew and had kept the secret too, to keep them safe from the potential backlash of their town's wider community. Samar, Aram, and Liz all listened eagerly; it didn't matter that Aram was hearing the stories for the umpteenth time, the alternating laughter and looks of awe from both Liz and Samar as they heard each tale for the first time, made them all seem new again.  

'I still don't understand this haircut either,' Mehri teased, pointing at an old, black and white photo of Naveed at about the same age Aram would have been with his own wild haircut. Naveed's really wasn't much better –probably just as shaggy, in fact, now that they were all looking at the two haircuts one after the other.   
'And yet, you were crazy enough to love me anyway,' Naveed mused back.   
'You loved me first,' Mehri shot back, albeit only gently. She leaned into Naveed's side, staring up at him with a wry smile. 'I watched you every morning from my garden. You were the only boy in the group that went past every morning on the way to school who actually smiled rather than looking down your nose at me.'  
'You waved first,' Naveed grumbled softly in response. He turned the page without really looking at it, staring amusedly instead at the teasing grin on her face. 'Even when you weren't supposed to.' Mehri glanced at the next page, tilting her head thoughtfully as she traced its contents with her fingertips; it was a rose, dried and preserved for decades, before being stuck to the page...

It was exactly the same sort of rose Naveed had grown in the gardens at their Delaware home ever since... Until now, of course.  

'Pretty sure you weren't supposed to slip me this through the fence either,' Mehri said quietly. The words caught in her throat as she tried to give them voice; it was the very first rose he had ever given her, while they were still trying to be discreet, and long before they'd had to leave behind their families, never to see them again. It didn't matter that they had grown up only a few houses down the street from one another, that their families were friends, or that their parents had no problem with their romance... In the eyes of the town, Mehri and Naveed still hadn't been allowed to marry unless one of them converted faiths to that of the other. Both had been willing to do exactly that, but neither had been willing to let the other to do the same for them... They were just that stubborn in their determination that their difference in faiths shouldn't matter. They had instead chosen to leave so they could be together despite that difference, but it certainly hadn't been easy.  

Naveed reached again into the box, and pulled out a frame nearly as old as the album. Without a word, he ducked around the counter to the living room side, and set the small photo frame on the mantel. A moment later, and he was back by Mehri's side, with an arm wrapped around her, and dotting a kiss to her cheek. All five adults in the room turned to gaze at the small frame, the only thing so far to decorate the space. It bore the image of Naveed in a suit, and Mehri in a long white dress... Both of them staring back at each other with adoring smiles.  

It was their wedding photo.  

'Ok,' Naveed said softly, taking a deep breath as he stared at it, 'now this feels a little like home.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, a 'Detour' for Liz... Hmmm...
> 
> In the meantime, there's a little something I feel is too adorable not to be shared. A pal of mine with a talent for drawing asked me recently what she she draw when she felt like doodling. I jokingly suggested something story-related. She, however, took me seriously.
> 
> Feast your eyes on this! You may recognise Mr Spikes and Ziggy. The purple giraffe is a reference back to Chapter 17, and the lion to Chapter 20. The triceratops is something from upcoming Chapter 72... And also needs a name (other than 'Mrs Spikes') if you have any ideas. Cera, Sally, and Mika are leading suggestions so far.
> 
>  
> 
> [](https://www.flickr.com/gp/152300685@N03/5816Wc)


	71. Detour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Thursday, September 14, 2017.
> 
> Jeepers it feels weird to type that, seeing as I'm writing the beginning of December already.
> 
> Anyway. Righto folks, this is the last definite weekend post. I fly out on Wednesday, my time! I have the next few chapters all saved as drafts right here on ao3 though, so all I have to do is find the occasional spot of free wifi and hit the post button from my phone. The question is simply; when/if that will be. So keep an eye out! In the meantime, if I don't catch you, here's a happy and safe Christmas next weekend, to all of you who celebrate it! :)

' _In my opinion,_ ' Cooper had protested at the end of his interview, ' _Agent Keen does a spectacular job of balancing her commitment to her daughter with her commitment to her work, and if that doesn't say what kind of person she is, and why she would be a great candidate to adopt, I don't know what does_.'

Outside in the waiting room, Liz alternated between pacing anxiously back and forth across the room, and sitting down just as anxiously twiddling her thumbs. Finally, she'd had interviews with an adoption agency, but the next step was interviewing character witnesses. One by one, Cooper, Ressler, Samar and Aram were being interviewed about her, and everyone who wasn't being interviewed, was there in the waiting room. Cooper had already said his piece first, and returned to the waiting room seeming far too determined not to look irritated, for Liz's taste. Ressler was in the room currently, and Liz was checking the clock intermittently... Waiting for him to return.  

It had been well over twenty minutes already, and Liz was at a total loss for what they could possibly be asking him about her, that could take that long.

'Tag, you're it,' Ressler's declaration to Samar jolted Liz from her mind's anxious wanderings. Liz swivelled on the spot in her pacing, studying Ressler's expression. He too, seemed mildly uncomfortable striding out through the doorway from the office and back into the waiting room. One of the interviewers from inside the room stepped out from behind him, and Samar rose from her seat, ready for her turn.  
'Ms Navabi and Mr Mojtabai?' The interviewer read aloud from her clipboard. Aram glanced up in alarm.  
'Both of us?' He asked curiously. The woman shot him a look of bored exasperation.  
'Are you or are you two not a couple?' She shot back. Aram nodded hurriedly. 'Then we can interview you together.' Samar and Aram swapped confused glances, but wordlessly agreed simply to go with it.   
'Ok then,' Samar murmured under her breath. With a nonchalant shrug, she glanced down and tousled Leila's hair where the little girl stood idling around her mother's feet... Before guiding her gently towards Ressler. Ressler instantly picked Leila up, then settled her on his knees as he took his place in the waiting room chair beside Liz and Sammy.  

Samar and Aram trailed into the interview office behind the lady with the clipboard.

Inside the office, there were far more people sitting at the desk with notepads and paper, than Samar or Aram would have expected.

They both took their seats, directly across from the panel of three interviewers.   
'Ms Navabi,' began the woman who sat in the middle of the three. Aram noted to himself that none of the three had bothered to introduce themselves, and tried desperately to contain any sign of his annoyance at their rudeness. 'How long have you known Elizabeth?'  
'About three years,' Samar replied, quite simply, and while trying to ignore the camera with its red, blinking light that sat just behind those questioning her. The three interviewers scribbled away at their notepads, before the middle one glanced up again, this time turning her attention to Aram.   
'And you, Mr Mojtabai?' She asked. Her voice was still short. There was the sensation that Liz was on trial, and they were there to convince some kind of jury of her worthiness, and it had both Samar and Aram a little on edge. The two of them were both realising very suddenly, just why Cooper and Ressler had gone into the room seeming positive, and yet returned so uncomfortable.   
'Roughly four,' Aram replied flatly.   
'You all work together, is that correct?' The question hung in the air, aimed at neither of them in particular.   
'Yes,' Samar and Aram both spoke at the same time. Under the overhanging back edge of the desk, and where the interviewers couldn't see, Aram discreetly reached across to squeeze Samar's hand where it sat on her knee.   
'And just how dedicated would you say she is to her job?'  
'Very,' Samar said quickly.   
'And to her daughter?'  
'Also, _very,_ ' Samar cut in, sharper this time. Aram glanced subtly to his side, eyeing the way her jaw was beginning to clench. He didn't like the way the line of questioning seemed to be going, and if Samar's sharp tone and gritted teeth were any indication, neither did she.   
'Do you believe that her commitment to either one is to the detriment of the other?'  
'No.' Blunt, this time. The short answers were clearly making their point. For one, Aram wasn't even trying to jump in with answers anymore, even though the questions were still thrown out at both of them in general. Samar had it covered, and he had no need to counter anything she was saying, no matter how short her answers were. The interviewers paused at the third, short answer in a row, eyeing Samar's adamant, challenging gaze straight back at the woman in the centre who was asking all the questions.   
'What about the time she spent as a fugitive-' the interviewer spoke again, peering condescendingly down at Samar through the glasses perched halfway along her nose.   
'-Liz was _framed-_ ' Samar interjected emphatically.   
'-And her name was cleared not long before her daughter was born,' the woman cut off Samar in turn, reading from her notes. 'Do you believe that timing has impacted her as a mother?'

Samar hesitated for a second, her gaze finally dropping –albeit only for a split second- before she responded.  

'Yes,' she said, nodding contemplatively.   
'Yes?' The interviewer repeated questioningly.   
'Samar-' Aram tried to start, glancing sideways at her with his eyes widening in alarm. Samar didn't meet his eyes; instead she resumed her steely expression again, and replied just as firmly as she had to every other question asked before.   
'-Yes, I believe her experiences have impacted her as a mother.'

'Ms Navabi, could you elaborate, please?' The man at the right of the trio, finally spoke up.  

'If you're expecting to hear that her experience being framed by factions within your government, means that she can't properly look after a child, then you'll need to keep looking for people to interview...' Samar seethed, 'and preferably within groups of people that don't know Liz very well.'  
'Ms Navabi-' The man spoke again, while all three shifted uncomfortably in their seats as if Samar's implication had caught them unexpectedly.   
'-Liz's experiences have impacted her as a mother the same way every parent's experiences impact them,' Samar cut him off, shaking her head in frustration. 'They lead us to form our views of the world and how to navigate our way within it, and that includes how we raise and what we teach our kids. I lost my parents when I was young, just like Liz did... And given what I do for a living, the worry that one day my daughter will lose me at too young an age as well, is something that bothers me.' Samar paused for a moment, flinching slightly as she tried to shake off the feeling of having allowed her own statement to hit too close to home before she could stop herself. 'The same can be said for Liz,' she continued softly, and thoughtfully. 'We're both determined to keep our girls safe, and make sure that what happened to us doesn't happen to them. Liz's experience on the run only adds to her dedication to Samantha and to the child she wants to adopt. She's seen the worst of what the world can offer and instead of letting that tear her into a hundred miserable pieces, she still comes into work every morning with a smile on her face, a happy, healthy toddler in her arms, and the determination to make sure it all stays that way. Liz has so much love to give another child, especially one who needs a family just like she did when she was adopted as a young child. Why else do you think she's crazy enough and passionate enough to be so determined to adopt, despite the commitments she has to manage... And which she manages extremely well, for that matter.' Samar paused again, letting out a frustrated sigh. Aram had bowed his head, nodding his agreement without even realising it as she had gone on, sounding more and more offended by the notion that the interviewers could possibly doubt Liz at all, as she spoke. Finally, Samar took a breath, gritting her teeth. 'Not letting Liz adopt, would be the _stupidest_ thing you could possibly do,' she finished, with a fierce look on her face.  

The three interviewers all fell quiet for a moment, with the one on the left scrawling something cautiously on her notepad.  

'Mr Mojtabai,' the middle interviewer spoke up quietly, eyeing him warily. 'Do you have anything else to add?'  
'Uh, no...' He murmured back, before trailing off... But Aram's brow furrowed in irritation. The implication of the line of questioning ate at him too. Aram shifted in his seat, sitting up straighter, taking Samar's hand in his under the edge of the desk once more, and locking his fingers with hers in determination. 'I think Samar has already said everything I would want to say.'  
'You agree with _everything_ she said?' The tone of the question was warning, daring him not to counter her assessment of them. Aram clenched his jaw, knowing exactly what they were referring to, and carefully choosing his words to make his point.   
'Every word,' he said bluntly. 'I agree with _every_ word she said.' The middle interviewer locked eyes with him for a moment, but Aram held her gaze.  

/*/*/*/*

Samar and Aram had returned to the waiting room for the office, only for Liz to be called in next. She left Sammy with them, still happily babbling with Leila, then wordlessly trailed into the office behind the interviewer with the clipboard who had asked the worst of the questions. Samar, Aram, Ressler, and Cooper all swapped, knowing, anxious glances.

It was clear, without any words being spoken between the four of them, that all of them had been thrown those same, intense, skeptical questions... And all of them had fired straight back, leaping to Liz's defence, until the interviewers had given up trying to ask everything they had planned to.  

Each of them intermittently watched the ticking over of the clock in the waiting room while trying to refocus their attention on listening to the two little ones and their babbling, rather than the worry that it may be the make or break moment in Liz's quest to adopt... And then Aram suddenly stood from his seat, watching the doorway to the office intently like a deer caught in headlights. Liz stood there, having just opened the door.

'How did it go?' He asked quickly. Everyone else in the room swivelled in their seats, looking up at Liz in the doorway, studying her demeanour. Her face was hard to read, as if she was still figuring out how she felt about whatever was said, herself.   
'Better idea, let's get out of here,' Ressler spoke up, shooting her a small, encouraging smile. Liz stepped further into the room, lifting Sammy from Cooper's knee, and pressing a soft kiss to her rosy, baby cheek.   
'And go where?' Liz asked absent-mindedly. She stared back at them all, tired, frustrated, and clearly just wanting to go _anywhere_ away from the room they were standing in. Ressler shrugged, giving her a knowing look as he responded;  
'Let's just say, I have an idea.'

/*/*/*/*

Ressler's idea turned out to be gathering back at Liz's apartment, with a huge takeout order from her favourite Chinese restaurant; the comforts of both home and delicious food both proving more than efficient at bringing about a noticeable relaxing of tension in Liz's shoulders and her entire demeanour in general.   
'There was a representative from Social Services in the room,' Liz finally spoke up, over her box of fried rice. 'That's why there were more people in there than we were expecting.' She shook her head and rolled her eyes in annoyance. Everyone else in the living room did a double take, looking up from their respective boxes of food in confusion and alarm.   
'Wait, why Social Services?' Ressler quickly asked.  
'Because...' Liz started, then trailed off again. Her eyes flickered downwards to stare frustratedly at the floor for a moment before speaking again. 'The biological parents of newborns put up for adoption have some say in who adopts their children... And while it's not impossible for single, working parents to adopt, the adoption agency pointed out that it's unlikely I'll be selected.' Liz paused again, letting out a sigh. 'People who give their newborns up are looking for a loving family for their child, and more often than not, they pick couples if they have the option.'  
'...But?' There was clear hesitation in Aram's voice as he too, pressed for answers. The curiosity was there for all of them, but so was the anxiety that they may not like the answer.  

The look of annoyance on Liz's face twisted slightly, with a hint of pride... Except, it was bittersweet.  

' _But_ , they think I'm a good candidate to adopt, even if I'm unlikely to be chosen,' she explained. 'They suggested that I try to adopt out of the foster system instead of adopting a newborn. The process to adopt that way is similar, and they wanted to save me the inconvenience of having to go through the interview process twice.'  
'Can they do that?' Once again, it was Ressler's turn to ask the question. His brow furrowed with his usual concern for the rules –or the potential to break them. He, Aram, and Samar were all so determined to see Liz fulfil that dream of adopting, none of them were going to take any chances. Anything they could do to help Liz succeed in that, they were prepared to do –and that included not letting her be defeated by any lingering doubts over her character from her time on the run, that caused officials to delay her attempts, or place obstacles in her way.   
'Well... They did.' Liz shrugged nonchalantly as she continued; 'and they said that if I _did_ want to adopt that way, I'd have a pretty good chance. Most of the criteria that I have to meet to adopt through the foster system is the same as adopting a newborn through an agency, and all the background checks are covered by the fact I work for the Bureau.'  
'So, what are you thinking of doing?' Samar finally spoke her up, her voice slow and her tone curious. She eyed the determination on Liz's face, the tiniest of smiles tugging at her lips as she did so.  

Liz took a deep, slow breath. She sat a little more upright in her chair, then stared back adamantly at the trio awaiting her answer.  

'Adopting a second child,' she said, quite simply. She paused again, thoughtfully tilting her head... But the determination was still clear; 'maybe this is a slight detour in the road I was planning on taking, but somewhere out there is a child that needs a home... And I still want to give them that.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, where there's a will, there's a 'Way'. Literally. I named that for the deliberate pun. I am terrible, yes I know. :P And if anyone's worried that it's been a straight run of fluffy, happy chapters for a while now, fear not! The angst will return with a bang in Chapter 76!
> 
> Sidenote; The Blacklist Fanfiction Awards have started up over on Tumblr this week! Thank you so much to those who nominated me for Best Kidfic (for Mina in 'The ghosts that taunt us') and Best Original Character/s (for Mehri and Naveed, in this story)!  
> Go check out the awards, the categories, and nominate all your favourite Blacklist fics over at https://theblacklistfanfictionawards.tumblr.com/ ! The more nominations for each category, the better! :)


	72. Way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Saturday-Sunday, September 23-24, 2017.
> 
> Merry Christmas! I survived my crazy flights earlier in the week and I have a moment with wifi and time to post, so here you go. Enjoy!

**_SATURDAY MORNING..._ **

The frayed soccer ball rolled across the grass. Two sets of feet chased after it, one pair adult-sized, the other pair tiny, and both travelling at a relatively slow pace for the former, and a fast one for the latter.   
'Go Leila, go!' Samar cheered. Leila toddled on across the grass, giggling as she reached the old ball. She still hadn't yet figured out kicking or deliberately rolling it, but she could certainly follow it when she saw it moving... And that was exactly what was happening. Samar was sending the ball rolling –not really kicking it, but simply nudging it with her toes so it didn't go too far or too fast- and then followed Leila along after it, nudging the ball again once she reached it. The sun was shining, though not too warmly at all. There was a gentle breeze that rustled the leaves of the trees, just enough to send a few loose ones rolling across the grass, much to Leila's amusement. It was just the two of them, playing together there at the park not far from their apartment. Aram was stuck with a rare Saturday at the Post Office, working on computer system maintenance while most of the site's staff weren't there to use the system. Liz was busy dealing with an inspection of her apartment by Social Services –one of the final steps before she could be approved as foster parent. Leila was due to go to Ressler's later in the afternoon but for the moment, Samar and her little girl had the morning all to themselves.  

There was a community family fair being set up on the other side of the park, due to open in another half hour or so. Samar had figured they could amble down to the park early and roll the ball around for a while in what was quickly becoming one of Leila's favourite games, then wander around the fair once it opened, and before the crowds arrived. By the time they returned home after that, it would be just enough time for Leila to have a nap before heading to Ressler's.  

Samar nudged the ball again and couldn't help but smile as Leila charged after it once more, cackling all the while.  

/*/*/*/*

Another pair of feet thudded against the pavement. It was a steady pace, running a straight line along the sidewalk that was a different, but pleasant variation of their usual route. There was a certain satisfaction in the focus on nothing but the pounding of the pavement under his feet, no stress or worry about work was allowed while Ressler was taking his morning run. Nothing was allowed but the simple emptying of his mind for that half hour he put aside for it while he ran each day, and the enjoyment of whatever weather went with it, whether that be rain, hail or shine.  

...Until a squeal jolted him from the focus on running the full length of the sidewalk between the street and the park.  

Ressler paused, panning his gaze across the park where it seemed a fair was being set up. On the opposite side of the playground, a toddler and a woman with long, dark hair were running around after a ball. Ressler broke into a grin, and resumed his run, but with an immediate change in direction. He recognised that squeal and those figures in the distance... And they grew larger and more visible the closer he ran towards them.  

'Mind if I jump in, here?' Ressler asked, a little out of breath. Samar turned on the spot in surprise, but smiled all the same as she saw the familiar face. Ressler took that to indicate her assent, and with a grin he ducked around Leila, nudging the ball with his toes in a small circle around the both of them. Leila scrambled across the grass, overwhelmed with excitement at the sudden appearance of another of her favourite people. Samar reached out with her foot, effortlessly stealing the ball away from Ressler. With a laugh, she ducked to one side, and then the other, zigzagging around him, and leading the ball in a circle of her own. It didn't last long though, with Ressler giving chase and stealing the ball back just as efficiently, before taking it in the opposite direction –only for the cycle to repeat yet again a moment later. Leila toddled here and there between them as they kept at it, giggling gleefully at the ball constantly moving back and forth.  

Finally, Ressler stole the ball from Samar yet again, and let out a particularly victorious sounding cheer. He pulled a face, teasing, and daring her to follow. In a single, fluid movement, Samar scooped Leila up off the grass and just kept jogging after him.  
'Come on Leila,' she laughed, 'you think we can catch Uncle Ressler?'  
'Resseeee,' was all that Leila babbled happily in response –the combination of Samar and Aram referring to him as Ressler when talking to her, and Ressler referring to himself as 'Donnie'. Samar raised an eyebrow, staring back at Leila with a hint of amusement.  
'I guess I'll take that to mean yes,' she mused. Ressler slowed down a little in his running of laps around them, allowing for the fact that Samar wasn't going to run quite as fast if she was carrying Leila at the same time. He ducked back and forth, pulling faces and making silly sound effects all for Leila's amusement, while he dribbled the ball around them. Over and over again, Samar reached around his feet with her own, alternating every so often in attempts to get around him. Each time, however, she missed the ball. It was just too tricky to see Ressler's quick footwork in time, around Leila. Round and round in circles they chased each other, until finally... Samar quickly sidestepped one way and then the reverse, darting around Ressler and taking the ball from his side as he tried to turn and switch feet all at once. The force with which she stepped pushed the ball away from both of them, but Samar reached it faster as they both scurried after it.  

With Leila still held to one side, Samar scooped up the ball from the grass with her other hand. She held it just in front of herself and off to the side slightly, so that it sat like a trophy between her and Leila... All the while Samar jokingly whooped and cheered for their victory, and Leila squealed and cackled in an effort to copy the noise.  

'Ahhh, ok, ok,' Ressler laughed, jogging back to their collective side, 'you guys win.' He grinned, reaching out and leaning forward slightly to take Leila into his arms. 'Hey, little sprout,' he murmured softly to her. Ressler tried to dot an affectionate kiss to Leila's cheek, but instead she wriggled, leaning back in his arms and screwing up her face. 'What's that face for, hmm?' Ressler gasped in mock offense. Samar couldn't help but raise a wry eyebrow in response; the reason for Leila's chubby cheeks contorting in such an unimpressed fashion was obvious. After his long run and subsequent running around with them and the ball, Ressler was hot and sweaty... And the smell was just as distinct as the damp patch down the front of his shirt. Ressler paused for a moment, the wave of unpleasant aroma finally catching up with his nostrils as he stopped moving and leaving it in the air behind him. His eyes went wide in more genuine horror this time, and Samar couldn't help but try desperately to hold back a laugh at the way his face contorted in instant, embarrassed realisation. 'Ok, to be fair,' Ressler hurriedly tried to explain, 'I didn't think I'd see you two until after I was home from my run and I'd had a chance to shower.'  
'I figured as much,' Samar observed, shrugging nonchalantly. The smell wasn't exactly pleasant but hey, Ressler wasn't the only one who didn't smell like a rose garden after a run.   
'And you-' Ressler shifted his gaze back to Leila, pulling a face of his own as he laughed '-make plenty of your own stink, thank you very much.'  
'Resseee,' Leila burbled back to him, bouncing all too innocently in his arms.   
'Ressee, huh?' He mused. Ressler glanced at Samar, catching her eye for a second. 'That's a new one.' Ressler glanced back at Leila in his arms again, as Samar simply shrugged. 'Best new word you've said yet, though,' he added quietly, dotting another kiss to Leila's forehead. Side by side now, they continued strolling across the grass towards the fair that was just minutes shy of opening.  

Ressler eyed the colourful balloons with a small, thoughtful smile. It wasn't hard to see that Samar had brought Leila down to the park early, ready for the fair's opening. It was only a small one, with face painting, a petting zoo, pony rides, a bouncy castle, and a few shop stalls for local people selling their crafts, plus the usual food stands for hot dogs and ice cream. It didn't have the elaborate games of a larger travelling carnival -aside from a smaller version of can shooting where the cans had to instead be knocked down by throwing small, squashy, foam balls similar to stress balls- but nobody seemed to mind. Already there was quite a pleasant, excited atmosphere among the few other families with small children that had strolled down in time for opening... And plenty more were still predicted to turn up as morning turned to afternoon. Ressler had no doubt, especially if the wide, alert eyes were any indication, that Leila would love it.  

'Hey, do you mind if I walk with you guys for a little longer?' He suddenly asked. Leila's first experience with a fair –even a small one- wasn't something he really wanted to miss, now that he was there with them.   
'Sure,' Samar nodded nonchalantly.   
'Well, I mean, if the smell is-' Ressler hurriedly tried to add, but Samar gave a lackadaisical wave of her hand, cutting him off.   
'-Give it a few more minutes and my nose won't even notice it anymore,' she reassured him. 'Besides, it'll make nobody want to stand in line with us for things, so we won't have to wait too long for anything.' Ressler shot her a wary look, not entirely convinced... But Samar continued moving forwards quite confidently –not at all like someone who was allowing him to follow for the sake of nothing more than politeness- and Ressler decided to take her word for it.  

Together, the three of them ambled amongst the small crowd, stopping here and there as various things caught their eye. Leila was growing tired after the excitement and chasing the ball –it was clear from the way she was starting to lean her head against Ressler's shoulder as he carried her around. She was squirming far less in his arms now, though still her eyes remained open, taking in the sights... And still she babbled intermittently in response to their musings. Ressler only had to take one look at the game with the cans to decide there was no way on earth he couldn't win Leila the grand prize of a giant, fluorescent orange stuffed teddy bear. With his final ball throw at the final can however, he narrowly missed... And he ended up with a far smaller prize instead.

...Which, ironically and much to Samar's simultaneous amusement and utter exasperation, was another stuffed dinosaur. A hot pink triceratops this time, with a pastel pink belly, and grey horns and toes, not too different in size from Mr Spikes.  

Ressler consoled himself regarding his embarrassing defeat, by taking comfort in the fact that the smaller dinosaur was probably a better and far more appropriate prize for Leila than the huge, orange bear anyway... Even if it _was_ bright pink.

He was even partly curious to see what Aram named this one... So long as it wasn't _Mrs_ Spikes. Though, Ressler was fairly certain Aram had more imagination than _that_.  

They kept strolling amongst the stalls, the new dinosaur tucked carefully between Leila, and Ressler's chest. It certainly didn't take long for those tiny fingers to curl around the triceratops' frill. A stall selling handmade jewellery caught Samar's eye -though she didn't stop to browse- and the fluffy sheep at the petting zoo caught Leila's. That time, of course, they did stop to look because Leila's babbling grew louder and more excited the closer they got. Ressler set her down on her feet, right by the petting zoo fence so that she could see in.  

The little girl giggled so hard that she nearly fell over, when one of the sheep pressed its woolly face right up against the fence in front of her... And then she actually did tumble over in surprise when the sheep bleated loudly in her face and made her jump. Thankfully no tears were shed; Leila was far more stunned at the sudden noise, than afraid.  

Samar promptly picked her up again, dusting her off and reassuringly tousling her hair, and they continued on their way.  

'What, no face painting?' Ressler stopped in his tracks as they nearly walked past the small queue of children lined up for it. He glanced at Samar trying to keep moving past it, in mild horror.   
'Do you know how hard it is to scrub that stuff off?' Samar pointed out, shaking her head. 'And it's even worse when you're trying to scrub it off the cheeks of someone who won't sit still long enough for you to do it either.' Ressler opened his mouth to protest but faltered, instantly remembering his own misadventures with face paint as a young child. Samar gave a wry smile as the look of realisation crossed his face, and she tried not to laugh. 'And while the idea of covering her in face paint just before taking her to your place, and inflicting that struggle on you instead, is _kind_ of funny, I figured I'd better not.' Ressler shot her a look, rolling his eyes as Samar continued; 'but hey, if you want to _volunteer_ yourself for that particular duty,' she said drolly, and gesturing at the queue, 'go right ahead.'  
'Uh, no, you might be right,' Ressler very quickly shook his head, 'maybe when she's older, and more likely to sit still.' He paused again, narrowing his eyes in amused exasperation; 'but I'm going to remember that you thought the idea was funny.'

/*/*/*/*

**_SUNDAY AFTERNOON..._ **

Samar barely managed to knock more than once on Ressler's front door before it swung open, and he stood there, wild eyed, as if impatiently waiting for her. For a moment Samar was taken aback; no matter his schedule, Samar being late to pick up Leila was the one matter of impunctuality Ressler had no problem with whatsoever. He was all too enthusiastic about spending time with her. It didn't matter that he had spent most of Saturday morning at the park with them, once Samar had taken Leila home for a nap, and then dropped her off at Ressler's later that afternoon –notably _after_ he'd had a shower by that point- he was delighted all over again to see her.  

But this time, however, was different. Even Ressler's _usually_ super slick hair was all over the place.

'You're here,' he practically grunted, the second the door swung open. Samar did a double take, startled by the sudden outburst. It was about as far as absolute possible from the standard greeting she had been expecting.  
'Hi to you too,' she replied warily. Ressler let out a frustrated sigh, but shot her an apologetic look all the same. Samar was not the cause of his frustrations –not _directly_ , anyway. Ressler closed the door behind her, in a hurry to return to Leila in the living room.   
'She just doesn't _stop_ anymore,' he sighed again, with a weary grimace. Samar shook her head with a knowing wince, rounding the corner with him into the living room. There Leila was, toddling as fast as she could round and round the living room, around the couch, around the armchairs, around the coffee table, cackling and switching directions every lap or so but otherwise moving non stop.   
'Leila,' Ressler tried to catch her attention as he stopped in the middle of the room. Leila glanced up at him with her wide, gummy smile, but still didn't stop. 'Come on, Mama's here.'  
'Mamaaaa,' she giggled happily but still, Leila did not stop.   
'She's been doing this _all_ afternoon,' Ressler explained. He truly did look exhausted, and as much as he loved Leila, he clearly needed a break.  
'She's thirteen months old, surely you're faster than she is,' Samar mused, with a wry smile.   
'I am, but there are obstacles and she switches directions around them faster than I do because she's smaller,' Ressler pointed out, 'and it's not like I can tackle her like a suspect, I'd crush her.'  
'True.'  
'Does she do this all the time now?' Ressler stared at Samar, questioning, almost in a disbelieving daze. It took everything Samar had, to remember how exhausted she had been once Leila had discovered the ability to run laps -uncatchable until she wore herself out- rather than being amused at Ressler's frustration now that she at least, was used to the scenario.   
'Pretty much any time she's not napping,' Samar said matter of factly, but still as gently as she could muster.

Ressler shook his head again in complete disbelief, figuring it was probably better just to let Leila continue her laps around them for a little while longer. There was no need to hold her still while they talked, and Ressler had a potentially difficult matter of discussion on his mind.

'Anyway, uh,' he cautiously began, 'I wanted to talk to you about something, actually.' Ressler shifted uncomfortably on his feet, as Samar raised a quizzical eyebrow. They hadn't fought with each other over anything regarding Leila in months, in fact they had managed to remain particularly reasonable with one another since Ressler's mother had passed... But that didn't mean arguments would never happen again. Ressler was torn; he wanted to believe they could continue building on the foundations they already had, but at the same time, the lack of arguments were probably just as much due to the fact that there hadn't been anywhere near as many issues they needed to discuss with one another regarding Leila in that timeframe either –and therefore, nothing much to fight about in the first place.  

Well, until now.  

It wasn't exactly the best time for it either, seeing as they were barely a month shy of Aram finally being eligible to file for adoption of Leila. The full year he'd had to wait was borderline over, and soon enough there would be nothing left that Ressler could do to stop it –if for some reason, he suddenly felt the need to. For the moment he didn't, but there was still that sinking feeling of just _knowing_ that time was running out. Between filing and the adoption being officially finalised, there was six months more of waiting, but only the first _week_ of that was the speak-now-or-forever-hold-your-peace window of time where protests to the application could be made before it was processed. After that week, it was out of Ressler's hands. Forever.  

For the moment though, he was trying not to think about it, and to instead remind himself that he would still see Leila regularly no matter what –or at least, so long as he and Samar could keep things civil.  

'About Leila?' She asked cautiously. It wasn't hard to tell that the same concerns were suddenly running through her own mind. The timing made it worse, and breath caught in Samar's throat as she hoped Ressler wasn’t suddenly about to last minute change his mind about Aram adopting Leila.   
'Sort of,' Ressler bit his lip, not entirely sure of the best way to say what he wanted to say, 'it's about my will.' He watched for a split second as Samar seemed to process that particular introduction; the wariness remained clear on her face, but the tension in her shoulders began to ease a little, and the instinct to brace for a need to go on the defensive began to fade too. 'It's slow progress sorting through the last few things of my mom's estate, with work and all, but I'm getting there,' Ressler continued. 'The thing is though, it means my assets change too, and when I thought about it, I realised I haven't re-done my will in years. It's so out of date now, it still lists Audrey as my main benefactor.' He paused, shifting uneasily again; 'obviously, that's going to be a slight problem if something happens at work, and-'  
'-Don't say it.' Samar softly interjected, raising one hand ever so slightly, and nodding quickly in understanding. 'I get the idea.' The thought that any of their team could wake up fine one morning, and then go to work never to return –simply due to the nature of their jobs- to their home or to their family, was one that never lingered too far from the backs of all their minds. Accepting that reality and bracing for it was one thing, but none of them really liked to say it out loud unless they absolutely had to. That only made it all the more real.   
'I'm working on updating it,' Ressler tried to explain further, 'but now I have nobody to leave anything to. Nobody, except-'  
'-Leila,' Samar quietly finished the sentence for him. In part, a sense of relief washed over her now that she could see exactly where the conversation was heading. It wasn't entirely what she wanted, but it was still far better than her initial concern.   
'Yeah...' Ressler trailed off, nodding, and glad that she seemed to understand. 'But I mean, I don't want to step on your toes, I won't include her in my will if you really don't want-' he quickly added.  
'-It's ok,' Samar said, shaking her head. They swapped wordless glances, both noting that they were equally uncomfortable, and equally trying to be both cautious and fair with one another. Not that such a thing came naturally to either of them –especially with their propensity to clash once upon a time- but they were certainly trying. The memories of past strains were far too clear in their minds, not to do so. 'You're thinking; your estate has to go somewhere, right?'  
'Exactly.' Ressler offered her a small smile, before quickly continuing;  'I'll leave some to charity too, and obviously, if some miracle happens and I have a family, it'll all change again, anyway. But I'd always like to leave something to Leila. I have a few different ways I can do it too, if you want to choose between them.' Samar blinked, doing her second double take since arriving at his apartment barely fifteen minutes earlier.   
'I _actually_ get a say?' She asked, in stunned disbelief. Fair and reasonable was one thing, but that was far more than she expected. Leila was _her_ daughter, yes... And decisions about her daughter required her input. But, Ressler's assets were just that; _his_ assets –that he could what he wanted with. Well, within reason anyway.   
'Well, we're trying to be reasonable with each other these days, right?' Ressler's tone was awkward, but optimistic.  
'True,' Samar said softly. They _shared_ small smiles this time. There was a sudden, hopeful feeling between them, like it was something they were now eager to figure out together with the energy of shared enthusiasm. 'Ok, what did _you_ want to do?' Samar spoke again, thoughtfully this time.   
'Something practical,' he said, his face lighting up with pleased determination. 'Like say, a trust that she can only have when she reaches a certain age even if I die earlier, or a trust that she can only use for college tuition, or other sensible things if she decides she doesn't want to go to college, like setting up a business or something.'  
'I'm working on her college fund already,' Samar pointed out, albeit gently.  
'I figured that much.' A knowing grin tugged at Ressler's lips as he shot her a quizzical look; 'Aram too, right?' Samar nodded slowly.  
'I told him he didn't have to...'  
'He wouldn't have agreed with that.' Samar shook her head, and Ressler continued; 'well, I also figure... College is already expensive, and it's only going to get worse over time. Every dollar counts... And if she doesn't need it for college, she can use it after college to set herself up with an apartment, or a car, or... I don't know. I'm sure she'll think of something.' Ressler paused again; Samar was already nodding her agreement before his rambling came to its end. He had thought about the potential options in detail well before mentioning it to her, so that he would be armed and ready with them in case they struggled to compromise... But for once it seemed to be a non-issue. Both of them had braced for impact but then, there was no impact. Instead, there was surprisingly easy, silent agreement. Samar would always prefer to be able to fund Leila's college tuition without his help –and she would probably manage it too, regardless- but Ressler adding a buffer to that was never going to hurt anything.     

The momentary, thoughtful silence was suddenly broken by Leila running straight between them, still cackling happily.

'Ok, _how_ do you catch her?' Ressler sighed.   
'Like this.' With a grin tugging at her lips, Samar ducked around the couch and crouched down to Leila's level. 'Leila,' she softly called out. Leila paused in her tracks, turning instantly in response to her name. The second she had Leila's attention, Samar outstretched her arms –the universal gesture for a cuddle. In less than a second, Leila made a beeline for her, running straight into Samar's arms. Samar wrapped her arms around Leila, pulling her in close for a cuddle, and then quickly lifting her up from the floorboards. She shot Ressler a mischievous grin, just as Leila nuzzled happily into her shoulder. 'See?'  
'Seriously?' Ressler's tone was flat, and he rolled his eyes in amused exasperation.   
'She's affectionate,' Samar observed, shrugging her shoulders. She dotted a quick, affectionate kiss to the top of Leila's head; it had taken a while before she and Aram had figured out the trick to convincing Leila to scamper back to them, but once they had... It worked every time. Ressler wandered over back to them, still shaking his head all the while.  
'How did _we_ end up with such an affectionate baby?' He asked softly, tousling Leila's hair. Instantly, they both grinned at each other –Ressler knowing the answer to his own question without Samar having to say anything.   
'I think in this case it's a nurture rather than nature kind of question,' she mused. Ressler simply chuckled under his breath; no matter how affectionate they were with Leila in spite of both their tendencies to be more reserved in public otherwise... With Aram added to the mix as well, there was no way Leila would ever not be cuddly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up; 'Balance'.
> 
> Also, here. Have a hot pink triceratops! (And she still needs a name!)  
> [](https://www.flickr.com/gp/152300685@N03/05J2D2)


	73. Balance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Wednesday, October 4, 2017.
> 
> Happy New Year, everyone! :D Here we are with Samar's birthday, this time. The fun fact here though is, if anyone remembers her last birthday chapter with the Smithsonian Castle and the Sackler gallery, I went to both today during my travels! The Castle was particularly beautiful, as was the garden behind it. If you've never been before, you really should... Plus it felt kind of cool to visit after writing about it. So I figured I should try and get this chapter up today too.
> 
> Happy reading! :)

Aram's head whipped around at the sound of the front door unlocking and slowly opening. He lunged across the kitchen for his cell phone which sat on the counter at the other end, still with an open call on speakerphone.  
'Mom, Samar's home, I have to go,' he murmured, quietly but urgently, 'thank you.' He swiped across the screen, hanging up the call before Mehri even had a chance to respond, then practically sprinted around the corner to stop Samar at the door.  

'Hey,' he quickly greeted her, eyes twinkling with glee.   
'Hi,' Samar breathlessly replied, smiling widely. She had sprinted up the stairs to their apartment from her car, knowing that she was later home from the Post Office than expected, but still she was happy to be home, and happy to see Aram. She turned on the spot as the door closed and locked behind her, ready to stroll further inside... But Aram blocked her path.   
'You need to go straight to the shower,' he said hurriedly. For a second, Samar simply blinked in response.   
'Hey, I know I had physical training after work,' she began to protest, brow furrowed in annoyance, 'but I don't smell _that_ ba-'  
'-No, no, it's not that,' Aram interjected. He stepped to her side, resting one arm firmly around her shoulders and guiding her down the hall, _past_ the entrance to the living room and kitchen before she could stop. 'But you do have to get ready for dinner.'  
'I thought it was later so that I didn't have to rush when I came home?' Samar asked curiously. She didn't push back against his leading arm -aside from a split second to poke her head around Leila’s bedroom door in passing, to note that she was content and sound asleep- but still she shot him a quizzical look as he continued to practically herd her down the hallway.   
'It is, but that doesn't matter,' Aram commented. His lips twitched with amusement at the surprise plan he was preparing in the kitchen for her birthday, and Samar's complete obliviousness to its existence. They stopped just outside the bedroom door and Aram raised a single, teasing eyebrow. 'Just go in there and get ready, and don't come out again until I say so,' he chuckled. Samar rolled her eyes in mock-exasperation.   
'Aram-' she began to protest again, but Aram cut her off once more.   
'-I picked out a dress from the wardrobe for you, it's on the bed,' he chirped, all too matter of factly.   
'You did _what?'_   Samar narrowed her eyes, her voice lower this time as all traces of mock exasperation vanished in favour of suspicion.   
'Just trust me,' Aram murmured, smiling softly. He tilted his head, dotting an affectionate kiss to her cheek to prompt her. Samar shot him a look, pursing her lips and studying the curious expression on his face. All at once, somehow, it was genuine and earnest, teasing and mischievous. Samar gave a small sigh, shaking her head, then decided just to roll with whatever he was up to. Clearly there was something she was missing.   
'Alright then...' She muttered warily. She paused for one second longer, then entered the bedroom, closing the door behind her. Aram waited, listening for the sound of the shower starting to run in their bathroom, before scurrying back to the kitchen, grinning mischievously all the while.  

/*/*/*/*

From the kitchen Aram heard the shower stop running after a while. The smell of pasta sauce spiralled through the room just as the steam did from the pot on the stove. It was done, just in time, and Aram quickly turned the dials on the stovetop to switch it off... Just leaving the pots on the stove would keep their contents warm for the moment. Once again he scurried out of the kitchen and down the hall, stopping just shy of the bedroom door.   
'Aram I know you're waiting out there,' came Samar's droll voice from behind the door. 'I'm dressed, am I allowed out now?' Aram couldn't even stop the laugh from escaping him at how unimpressed she sounded. Little did she realise, the frustration would vanish soon enough. Still grinning, Aram gently pushed the door open.

Inside, with her hair flowing long and wild just the way Aram loved it, and hands notably on hips, Samar stood there in the middle of the bedroom, staring back at him.

And the outfit that Aram had picked, the very same one that Samar was now wearing... Was the very same one that had drawn Samar's eye on Leila's birthday. It was the traditional, soft, navy blue cotton dress, hand-embroidered all over by her mother, with the matching, loose-fitting, cotton pants underneath.  

'Whoa-' Aram breathed softly, taking in the sight before him. With a hint of reluctance, Samar smiled back. Her fingers toyed with the flowing fabric by her sides. It felt strange to wear the dress her mother had made her, after so many years... In some sense, it was almost was a nerve-wracking kind of strange, as Samar reflected back on the last time she had worn it. It was one nostalgic occasion back in Tel Aviv not long after completing her Mossad training, Samar had sat at home celebrating her success alone and wondering what her parents would think of it... Only to feel miserable at the thought of their absence, and tug off the dress in a hurry before her emotions got the better of her... And Samar hadn't worn the dress again since. She loved it, so, so much... It was a beautiful reminder of her mother, and one of the few things she had still kept after leaving Tehran, but at the same time... Wearing it brought back memories that could be just as difficult as they were wonderful.  

And on the other hand, it was an eerily pleasant kind of strange feeling to finally wear it once again now. Having now taken the time after all those years to come to peace –perhaps not entirely, but certainly far more so than she had when she was younger- with her parents' absence, being wrapped again at last in that soft, colourfully embroidered cotton was somewhat soothing too. Finally, it felt like after all those years, her mother was almost there with her again. It was all too many emotions all at once.  

'Aram, I'm not sure I want to wear this out for dinner,' Samar murmured cautiously. She glanced back at him, her eyes almost pleading with him not to make her go out in public like that. That dress was a memory that needed small, comfortable steps at a time... Plus it would stand out far too easily in a crowd dressed in more Western clothes. Wearing that dress again at home was one thing, but wearing it out in public where people would stare at her was another level entirely... One, that Samar was not entirely comfortable with no matter how proud she was of her background, especially when that dress meant so much.   
'But you look beautiful,' Aram gently countered. She really did look stunning; not necessarily in the seductively glamorous way she usually did when she dressed up for an occasion, but in a soft, gentle, simple but elegant kind of way. Samar tilted her head ever so slightly, still eyeing him with that look of wary hesitation. 'Ok, when did I say we were going _out_ for dinner?' Aram asked, shooting her a small smile. Samar's brow furrowed in confusion.   
'You said this morning that we were going to go out for dinner,' she noted, thinking back to their conversation had early that morning over breakfast.   
'No,' Aram shook his head, breaking into a knowing grin. 'I said we were going to _have_ dinner.' Aram held out his hand, and though still completely confused, Samar took his arm. Slowly but surely, Aram led her out of the bedroom, and down the hall... 'You smell that?' He asked, as they rounded the corner into the living room. The smell of the pasta sauce wafted even further through the air now, well on its way to filling the entire apartment.  

But that wasn't what stopped Samar in her tracks.

It was the sight of the living and dining room that stopped her in surprise, just as they rounded the corner. It didn't look anything like the way it usually did. The dining table was decked out, restaurant style, with plates, cutlery, glasses, a deep red tablecloth, and so on. There was a vase in the centre, filled with freshly cut orchids -Samar's favourite- and surrounded by tiny, flickering, purple and green candles. The curtains to the living room were drawn, and none of the ceiling lights or lamps were switched on. Only the candles on the table, and those that Aram had continued to scatter all over the living area –along the kitchen counter, on the coffee table, and on the shelves- lit the room, cloaking the entire space with a soft, dusky glow.  

'Wow,' Samar breathed, gazing all around the room in amazed disbelief as she stepped further in.   
'You said you just wanted a simple dinner, so...' Aram trailed off, grinning and shifting guiltily on his feet all at the same time. Samar turned on the spot, facing him again... And shaking her head in awe.   
'This is more than _just_ a simple dinner,' she observed, with a wry smile. It made sense now, why he hadn't taken off his tie as soon as he had arrived home like he normally would –instead, it still hung neatly about his neck, and his shirt remained tucked in too. In essence, Aram was dressed for their dinner just as she was.   
'Ok, maybe I couldn't resist spoiling you a _little_ ,' Aram mused. 'But Leila's already asleep, and we have the entire evening just to ourselves... We're not leaving the apartment to go _anywhere_... Unless of course you want to call this the _Restaurant à la Aram_.'  

It was all about balance; Samar hadn't wanted him to go all out and do something fancy or spectacular –or _both_ , for that matter, knowing Aram. She didn't like having such a fuss made of her birthday... But Aram hated the idea of not making the day special. He loved birthdays, and couldn't resist celebrating them. His home restaurant set up was his cautious attempt at balancing both; he had the chance to do something special with their evening, but without planning some huge event. Aram paused as Samar leaned slightly over the dinner table to admire the flowers, then he did a double take. 'It's still simple enough, right?' He asked, suddenly doubting himself.  

Samar turned, reaching for his hand and interlocking her fingers through his... Smiling and nodding earnestly all the while. She leaned in to kiss him, closing her eyes and sighing happily.          
'It's amazing,' she said softly, still lingering close to him.   
'Good, because...' Aram trailed off, kissing her back for a second, before darting away and reaching to turn on the stereo to a low volume. ' _Restaurant à la Aram_ is kind of fancy, so I might have to ask you for a dance first.'  
'Oh, might you now?' Samar laughed. Aram took her hand  her into the wider space of the living room, then wrapped his arms around her waist.   
'Mmhmm,' he hummed back. The sounds of clichéd, romantic music filled the room; the kind that made both their eyes crinkle in amusement when they heard it on the soundtracks for cheesy films. Samar draped her own arms over his shoulders, and both of them began to sway slowly back and forth across the room. Samar took a deep breath, enjoying the overall atmosphere washing over her; the low music, dusky lighting, the smell of the dinner still awaiting them in the kitchen, the warmth of the arms and softness of the cotton all wrapped around her... It was almost overwhelming. Samar allowed herself to sink further into Aram's arms, tilting her head and leaning her forehead against his.   
'Who helped with the cooking?' She murmured, as Aram pressed another adoring kiss to the top of her head, both of them still swaying and turning slowly around the room.  
'Why do you assume I didn't do it all by myself?' He objected, albeit only teasingly. Aram spun her around, then tipped her back in time to the music, making Samar laugh. Though still, she shot him a knowing look, and Aram couldn't help but give in. 'Ok, Mom _might_ have coached me through it over the phone before you got home,' he admitted as he pulled her upright again. 'I figured if there's any day I have to cook and make sure it's actually edible, it's your birthday, right?'

/*/*/*/*

Dinner didn't last long; after work and then physical training, Samar's belly was rumbling loudly by the time the music they were dancing to came to an end. Aram plated up the pasta, set it on the table, and both of them dug in... And Samar couldn't deny, after Mehri's help over the phone, Aram had managed to cook quite well indeed. Two platefuls each later, Samar had transplanted herself from her dining chair to the couch, stretching out across the cushions and letting out a deeply contented sight. From his place by the sink, where Aram had detoured just for a moment to set the plates in the sink, he grinned, all too pleased by the success.  

'Does that mean you're ready for your present?' He asked, with a wry smile.   
'Aram-' Samar began, suddenly sitting up again and staring across the room at him in protest, but Aram cut her off.   
'-Don't look at me like that, I'm always going to get you a birthday present,' he mused, rolling his eyes in mock exasperation. 'But if it's any consolation, I didn't go shopping for it.' Samar watched him warily, as Aram crossed the room back to her. He paused, just briefly to tug something out from his work bag which still sat by the desk behind the couch... A large paper scroll, adorned with a shiny, red, gift bow.   
'Aram, what is...' Samar trailed off, completely unable to even finish the question as Aram handed it to her, and she unravelled it. What then appeared, was what seemed to be some kind of legal document.  
'The lawyer called the other day, looking for you,' Aram gently explained. Samar's eyes went wide as she listened to Aram speak, not looking at him, but instead scanning quickly over the words on the page. 'You were in the bathroom so I answered it, then had that delivered to the office instead,' Aram added. 'I knew you didn't want a present, but I couldn't resist when I opened the file and saw it.'

Finally Samar tore her gaze from the pages, staring back at Aram in disbelief for the umpteenth time that evening. The document in her hand, was Aram's formal application paperwork to adopt Leila.  

'Legal documents are supposed to be kept flat,' she murmured, eyeing the rolled edges of the pages.  
'That's a copy,' Aram noted, pointing out the small 'copy' stamp at the bottom of the page, previously covered by her fingertips. 'The lawyer still has the real one, ready to file it in two weeks from now.' Samar made a small 'ah' of understanding, reading over the words on the page once more.   
'You still want to do this?' She asked cautiously, biting her lip.   
'Are you kidding me?' Aram gasped in mock horror, before taking on a gentler, more earnest tone; 'as important as Ressler is, I think of Leila as mine... Just as much mine as she is his. I love her so much, it _hurts_ -' Samar shot him a look '-ok, maybe that's a clichéd figure of speech, but you get the point. We've been waiting for this moment for just under a _year_ , I'm sure as hell not backing out now.' Aram shrugged sheepishly, brushing that forever uncooperative strand of loose hair off her face and tucking it behind her ear. 'Samar, filing this isn't some big deal that scares me and makes me want to back out, it's just making official what I've already known for a long time,' he reassured her. A tiny smile tugged at Samar's cheeks, and she gazed at the pages in her hands again. Reassurance, and confirmation that everything was still heading in the right direction; it was easily the best birthday gift Aram could have given her, without being a gift in the traditional sense of the word –and exactly what Samar _didn't_ want... Though the scroll with the bow was a nice touch that she couldn't help but be amused by.   
'Just checking,' she said softly.    
'I'm counting down the weeks until it's finalised.' Aram nodded, adamant and excited.   
' _Months_ ,' Samar gently corrected him. ' _Six_ more of them, to be specific.'   
'Which are made up of weeks,' he chirped, matter of factly. Samar simply rolled her eyes.  

'Did you go overboard with some fancy cake for dessert too?' She asked curiously, as Aram once again darted away from the couch and headed for the kitchen. Aram smirked, noting her sudden change in topic as a win.  
'Better, actually.' He grinned all too mischievously for Samar's taste as he pulled open the freezer door, and Samar wondered what on earth he could possibly have planned. The answer came quickly, however, as Aram pulled two individual pints of ice cream –one cookie dough flavoured, and the other mint chocolate chip- flipped their lids, and poked a spoon into each one. Still grinning, he crossed the room with them, one in each hand, and handed her the mint.  'I hope you approve,' he said, in mock seriousness, nudging her feet with his now free hand, where they stretched out across the couch so that he could have a space to sit beside her. Aram glanced at her, with as utterly sincere an expression as he could muster; 'I put a _lot_ of effort into this dessert.'  
'Yeah?' Samar asked, trying to pull an equally serious and impressed expression, as she dug her spoon into the minty pint and savoured the flavour.  
'Yep,' Aram nodded, drolly raising one eyebrow. 'I spent _ten_ whole minutes at the supermarket trying to narrow it down to just two flavours... And then I had to wash some dishes because otherwise we would have run out of spoons.'  
'Well...' Samar mused, no longer able to keep the straight face as Aram took a mouthful of the cookie dough ice cream, then reached out with his pint to swap with her the way they always did. He really had balanced it all perfectly; from the time and effort spent decorating the living room and cooking dinner to spoil her like _he_ wanted, to the absolute simplest of pleasures that was their sharing of ice cream for dessert like _she_ wanted. Samar swapped mint for cookie dough with him eagerly, digging her spoon into the latter this time, and savouring that one too as she smiled happily; 'you chose well... I feel very spoiled.'  
'Good.' Aram's eyes crinkled in delight, watching Samar's feet slip sneakily across the remaining space of the couch and then over his knees. He watched her take another spoonful of ice cream from the pint in her hand once more, struggling not to laugh as she –completely oblivious to it- accidentally smudged the drip of half melted deliciousness that had tried to escape via the side of the container, onto her hand, and then onto her cheek when the spoon arrived at its tastebud-filled destination. Her eyes closed slowly, thoroughly enjoying the peace, quiet, company, and the sweet, frozen goodness. Still, the ice cream smudge remained there, practically begging him to tease her for it.  

'What?' She asked curiously, snapping her eyes open again and spotting him staring at her after a moment's silent pause.  
'Oh, nothing,' Aram muttered, in that drawn out, oh so innocent voice. Setting his own ice cream pint to the side table for a moment, he shuffled over on the couch to where she was already half laying, half sitting, leaning back against the armrest, until he was propped up on one elbow alongside her. Finally, and with a teasing smirk, he leaned in close; 'I'm just glad you're enjoying your birthday dessert,' he whispered.   
'I have ice cream on my face, don't I?' Samar sighed, narrowing her eyes in exasperation. With the back of two fingers, Aram wiped the small smudge away, then chuckled as he kissed her cheek.   
'Mmhmm.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, more than one of these little families take a few 'Steps' of progress. (But in what way, that is the question...)


	74. Steps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Wednesday, October 18, 2017.
> 
> There are some references in this one to a fic by thebeautifulbadass. More details on that at the end, per her request.
> 
> Righto folks! Today I jump on a plane for the 30+ hours travelling home, but I couldn't not add this chapter now before I lose the internet access aside from airports during layovers. Enjoy! :)

'Morning,' Samar breathlessly greeted Aram. He glanced up from where he sat at their small dining table, drinking his coffee, toying with his phone and generally making the most of the limited quiet time left until Leila woke up. Samar was bursting in from her morning run as she always did; practically continuing the run up the stairs from the bottom of the building to their apartment, through their front door, down the hallway and really only stopping once she entered the kitchen. Or at least, so it seemed from the way she burst into the room, still a little out of breath, but only contently so.   
'Hey,' he greeted her back. He offered her a small smile, that only widened further still as she paused in her movement past the table, to lean over his shoulder and plant a quick kiss on his cheek. 'The lawyer called while you were out.'  
'Oh?' Samar glanced back at him quizzically, finally heading into the kitchen. Aram broke into a wide grin, swivelling around ninety degrees in his seat to face her across the kitchen counter.  
'We're good to go with filing,' he informed her. The grin practically ran from ear to ear now, and Samar couldn't help but feel the same as he continued; 'the paperwork all goes in today.' Samar let out a slow exhale; a sudden, almost overwhelming rush of relief and excitement washed over her all at once. Finally, their almost year of waiting was over... And they could start the whole process of Aram adopting Leila once and for all.   
'One step closer,' she breathed softly. Samar turned on the spot, trying to refocus her gaze on the sink in front of her and the task at hand, before that rush of emotions spread to her tear ducts. Aram rose from his seat, taking the few steps across the kitchen to her so that he could kiss her properly... But then he paused.  

'Wait, what are you doing?' He asked curiously.   
'Refilling my water bottle.' Samar took one step sideways so that he could see the water bottle she held under the sink faucet... But that wasn't what had Aram confused.  
'Why not use a glass?' That was what she normally did; normally, she came home, dumped her water bottle in the sink to be washed later, and then poured herself a glass of juice.   
'It's not for me,' Samar replied nonchalantly, twisting off the faucet and then the lid back onto her water bottle. 'It's for the cat.' Aram's brow furrowed in confusion.   
'But... We don't have a cat,' he said slowly.   
'The cat that lives under the stairs out the front of the building, I mean,' Samar tried to explain. 'I've been giving it the last of my water at the end of my run, but I was thirsty today and finished it before I even reached our block.' She shot him a small smile as she quickly brushed past him, ready to head back downstairs. 'So, I'm taking some down instead.'  
'Whoa, hold on,' Aram quickly reached out to rest his hand against hers, gently stopping her. Samar raised a questioning eyebrow.   
'What?'   
'There's a _cat_ living out the front of the building?' Aram asked, staring back at her incredulously.   
'It's been there for ages,' Samar mused, 'haven't you seen it? It tries to greet me every morning.'  
'How long is ages, exactly?' Aram shook his head in sheer disbelief; he'd never seen a cat –or any other animal, for that matter- that seemed to live out the front of their building.  
'Two weeks or so?' Samar simply shrugged her shoulders, 'I don't know, I didn't check it off on the calendar, I just give it water.  
'There's a stray cat living outside long enough that you feel the need to give it water every day, but you didn't think to _feed_ it or take it to a _vet?'_ Aram's voice rose what seemed like at least half an octave. Samar finally brushed past him, heading for the front door, and Aram followed, wringing his hands.   
'I figured if I saw it every day and thought to give it water, surely someone else in the building sees it every day too and maybe they feed it,' Samar pointed out. She raised one hand in a calming gesture, then rested it on Aram's arm in an attempt to slow his wringing hands. 'I figured you would have seen it too, and seeing as you hadn't mentioned it-'  
'-Because I hadn't seen it-' he hurriedly interjected.  
'-I didn't know that! It's bright orange, I don't know how anyone could have missed it. I figure if you'd seen it and hadn't said anything, it must be the building's cat,' Samar explained. She then paused, furrowing her brow as she thought back to seeing the cat each morning; 'it doesn't _look_ hungry.'  
'I'm pretty sure our building doesn't have a building cat,' Aram said flatly.  
'Who knows? We work such crazy hours that we miss half the notices from the building manager.' Samar simply shrugged again, and Aram tipped his head to her in recognition of such.  
'Ok, fair point,' he conceded. 'But we still need to check it's ok and take it to a vet.' Samar paused again, taking a breath. The expression on her face softened as she stared back at him; concern for the animal Aram hadn't even seen before, was etched all across his face.   
'I'm sure it's fine,' she gently tried to reassure him.   
'What if it's lost?' Aram worried. Samar pressed another gentle kiss to his cheek, squeezing his hand in hers. She paused once more, just long enough to murmur softly to him before turning and hurrying downstairs again with her water bottle;  
'I haven't seen any posters on my run, I would have noticed those.'

/*/*/*/*

One frantic car ride, and some half dozen phone calls later, Aram confirmed; the ball of ginger fluff that lived out the front of their building was not the building's cat, nor was he a local pet reported missing. From there they had three choices; take the cat in themselves, find an alternate home for it, or surrender it to  local animal control to face a potentially dubious fate.

Needless to say, the bickering over what to do continued from home, all the way to the Post Office, much to Liz's amusement when the sound of their non-stop back and forth-ing reached her from the elevator before they did.

'You're not a cat person?' Aram asked in amazement for what was easily the tenth time that morning.  
'Not particularly,' Samar answered the question again, rolling her eyes at him in mock exasperation.  
'You love Hudson though,' he tried to protest.   
'Hudson's a _dog_ , Aram,' she drolly shot back. 'There's a _slight_ difference.' Aram sighed in frustration; his tactic to convince her wasn't working... And then he broke into a wry smile as a new one suddenly came to mind;   
'If you're not a cat person, why have you been giving it water every morning?' He asked, trying desperately not to sound smug.   
'Cats are still living beings that need water,' Samar said flatly. Her lip quirked up with a hint of amusement; Aram's attempt at a new tactic was far from subtle, and he seemed far too pleased with himself for thinking of it. 'I don't like cats, but I'm not a _monster_ , Aram.'  
'Cats are also living beings that need loving homes,' Aram pointed out, his tone _pleading_ with her.   
'No,' Samar said quickly. She knew exactly what he was asking with that statement, and she had no intention of giving in so easily.  

Not far from them, Liz's phone began to ring. She had been openly listening in to their bickering, and with considerable amusement too... But she took one glance at the caller ID on her phone, and all traces of amusement vanished from her face.

Samar and Aram were so focused in their debate that it didn't even register in either of their minds at first, that Liz had disappeared from their side to answer her phone from behind the relative privacy of the concrete columns.  

'Please?' Aram asked again.   
'Cats aren't dogs,' Samar sighed. 'We can't train it to stay out of Leila's room and not to jump into her crib and scratch her while she's sleeping. And I'm sure as hell not closing her door overnight, we need to be able to hear her.'  
'Him,' Aram tried to correct her. Samar's brow furrowed in instant confusion.  
'Huh?'  
'The cat,' he quickly explained. 'Is a him, not an it.' Samar rolled her eyes in mock exasperation for what felt like the umpteenth time that morning.   
'Ok, _him_ , then,' Samar rephrased. 'We can't train _him_ to stay away from Leila.'  
'I'm sure we'll figure it out,' Aram was clearly now back to the tactic of trying to straight up convince her, rather than test her logic. 'Plenty of people have both cats and little kids, _without_ problems.'  
'I don't actually get a choice here, do I?' She grumbled back.   
'Well, yes, _obviously_ you do, but...' Aram trailed off, completely at a loss for how else to convince her.   
'See? There's a but,' Samar couldn't help but chuckle. She paused, her expression softening once again as it had back at their apartment. Aram looked utterly disappointed. He had taken one glance at the cat when they left the apartment for work, and Samar had pointed it out in passing, and ever since the pleading had barely stopped. It wasn't hard to tell; Aram's never-ceasing and passionate regard for life –the very same that made it so difficult for him to deal with the concept of killing someone, no matter how bad they were or what crimes they had committed- did not apply solely to _human_ kind. In this case, it wasn't so much that he desperately wanted them to have a pet –it certainly wasn't as if they had ever discussed the concept before- but that he simply wanted to ensure that the stray cat she had been giving water to each morning, was cared for and loved. 'You really want to do this, don't you?' Samar asked softly.   
'Yes, I do,' Aram nodded adamantly. Samar sighed and bit her lip; she had never liked cats, they always seemed to her too snide and difficult to bond with... But Aram's unwavering passion for the living was one of those things about him that she adored endlessly, no matter the fact that her views weren't necessarily the same. If putting up with a four-legged hairball around their apartment would make him happy, she could at the very least, _deal_ with it.  
'Ok, fine...' She warily relented, 'but if I see a _single_ scratch on Leila-'  
'-You won't,' Aram quickly cut her off, breaking into a wide grin.   
'But _if_ I do-' Samar tried to continue, but Aram leapt around his desk to press a grateful kiss to her cheek, cutting her off once more.   
'I love you,' he whispered in her ear, trying to sound innocent.  
'Mmhmm...' Samar held his gaze for a second, shaking her head in disbelief at what she had just agreed to.

… And then the silence of Liz having stopped laughing suddenly registered in their minds, and they both paused, glancing around the war room... Liz was now back from taking her phone call but she stood a little off to the side, gazing alternately between them and her phone in mild shock. 

'Uh,' she began to stammer, in response to their matching, questioning expressions. 'That was Social Services...' Liz blinked, once, twice more, the realisation of what the phone call meant, finally setting in. She broke into a nervous, but hopeful grin; 'I have to go.'  
'Child in need?' Aram asked softly. Liz nodded slowly, her own rush of emotions –excitement, fear, and everything else- washing over her.   
'Go,' Samar quickly insisted, 'I can manage an interrogation without you.' Liz nodded once more, turning on her heels to pluck her bag from her office, then darting towards the elevator. Samar and Aram stood side by side in the war room, with matching, content smiles as the watched her scurry away.  

/*/*/*/*

Liz bustled through her front door and into her apartment, Sammy in one arm, and the other hand gently leading along a seven year old girl. Sofia, her name was; she was small for her age, and the dainty features of her face were twisted with tiredness and misery... Not that Liz blamed her, really. In part, Sofia's case had her feeling somewhat unsettled too. The little girl wasn't up for adoption, but she was a prime example of the sort of emergency foster care scenario Liz knew she would be up for when she began to travel down that road. Sofia was like Sammy in fact, in that she was the only child of a single parent... But what had Liz feeling unsettled was the reason why Sofia had come to her so suddenly; Sofia's father had fallen from a ladder in a workplace incident, and then been rushed to hospital... He would only be there for one night, maybe two, but Sofia had no other family... And _unlike_ Liz, Sofia's father's friends didn't have the ability or space to take her in for that night or two either. The little girl was, for all intents and purposes, alone, and that was precisely why Social Services had stepped in. It was however, also why Liz felt unsettled. The idea of something similar happening to her, and Sammy for some reason being left to some stranger –even if they were as genuine and caring as she was with Sofia currently- until she was free to come home, was terrifying. 

'Ok, honey,' Liz began, flicking on the light switch as they entered the living room, and carefully setting Sammy down on her feet by her side. Sofia stood just ahead of her, idling in front of the couch. 'How about... Ice cream and Disney movies? Does that sound like fun?' Liz suggested, moving on into the kitchen and opening up the fridge door in the search for something the little girl might eat, but still Sofia remained silent. Liz poked her head back around the fridge door, gazing sympathetically at Sofia, who had finally clambered wordlessly up onto the couch. She had nestled into the corner too, seemingly making herself as small as she could. Liz bit her lip; the rather curt lady from Social Services who she had met when picking Sofia up had said the little girl was quiet, but Liz had hoped it was simple shyness, and the fact that the Social Services lady seemed to know no other facial expression besides a cranky glare... Though perhaps little Sofia really was as nervous as first observed. 'I know, nothing much sounds like fun when you're in a strange place with a grown up you don't know,' Liz tried to gently prompt her, 'but your Daddy will be all better soon, ok?' She paused; Sofia's eyes were trained intently on her, the little girl clearly listening carefully to every words she said, but there was no movement besides the miserable pout of her lips, and the quick, scared blinking of her eyes. Liz took a breath, trying to steel herself; just the sight of Sofia so upset and fearful, had her feeling miserable too, but she couldn't let it show. It wouldn't reassure Sofia at all, if she did. Liz took another breath, and refocused her gaze on the contents of the fridge as she continued speaking –anything, really, to seem more casual. 'And until then we're just going to do all kinds of fun stuff... Colouring in, watching movies, reading stories... Whatever you want to do, ok, sweetie?'

Sofia curled further into the corner of the couch, burying her face shyly into the arm rest without responding. Liz bit her lip, willing the universe to stop the unsettled feeling in her stomach as she watched the little girl. She turned again, giving up on the fridge and allowing the door to fall closed behind her, before crossing the room to face the small selection of children's dvds on the shelf next to the television, deciding just to make an executive decision and go from there. Hopefully, a movie would be familiar and Sofia would start to feel more comfortable. 

Liz's thoughtful contemplation over the selection of dvds came to a sudden halt as a loud giggle burst out from behind her.  
'Oh, _Sammy_ ,' she sighed as she turned on the spot again, speaking before she completely saw what was happening. 'Sofia, I'm sorry honey, she's little and she probably just wants to play, but you don't have to-' Liz quickly continued, but then stopped suddenly as she took in the sight before her. Sammy stood by the edge of the couch, clinging to its edges, and peering happily up at the older girl... And Sofia gazed back, holding out one of the numerous stuffed toys that lay strewn across the couch cushions. Still Sofia didn't speak a word, but all the same she danced the stuffed elephant around in the air just in front of Sammy, offering a small, shy smile as she made the toddler giggle. Just like that, all sense of feeling like she had been thrown in the deep end vanished. Liz's eyes crinkled happily as she watched them playing, the weight and fear of not being able to reassure Sofia, now falling free from her shoulders. Sofia reached sideways with her other hand, picking up another of the stuffed toys from the couch –Ziggy, this time- and trying to hand it to Sammy. Sammy bounced excitedly on the balls of her feet, instantly recognising her favourite toy, and then reaching up for it. Liz darted forwards, not even trying to hold back a chuckle, and lifted Sammy up onto the couch next to Sofia, before taking a seat at the opposite end of it. Sammy crawled along the middle seat cushion towards Sofia, climbing onto her knees... And finally, the older girl broke into a wide smile, and even let out a soft giggle of her own. She wrapped one arm affectionately around Sammy and all the stuffed toys, before staring shyly back at Liz.  
'Sammy's cute,' Sofia mumbled, her voice quiet but gentle, 'I like her.' Liz grinned at the matter of fact tone, pleased that Sofia seemed to be settling. 'Can we watch a movie now, Miss Liz?' Sofia asked, shyly again this time.  
'Sure,' Liz beamed. 'And you don't have to call me _Miss_ Liz, just Liz is fine-' she paused for a second, grinning with a hint of amusement '-or Lizzie even, if you like. Do you have a favourite movie?'  
'Frozen,' Sofia said, nodding quickly, 'that's my favourite.'

/*/*/*/*

'Bandit?' Samar asked, glancing at Aram incredulously, 'you want to name the cat _Bandit_ _?'_   From where he stood in the kitchen, filling a water bowl in the sink, Aram simply glanced back at her and blinked.   
'Yes,' he said, bobbing his head all too matter of factly.   
'Why?' Samar raised an exasperated eyebrow from her seat in front of Leila's high chair, her one word question drawn out and tentatively curious while she somehow made airplanes out of spoonfuls of mushy vegetables all at the same time.   
'Why not?' Aram's lip twitched with amusement at her disgruntled expression. Both of them back at home now after wrapping up their case work for the day, the ginger cat was once again up for debate while they went about their usual evening routines... And Aram was still far too amused by the way she was torn between her hatred of the sprightly feline, and her attempts to humour him.   
'It's silly,' Samar commented. Another spoonful of mushy vegetables landed in Leila's mouth. The ginger cat in question idled about the legs of the high chair, staring up at Samar and innocently blinking his wide, blue eyes –though clearly still wanting to be right in the middle of them all. Leila watched the creature's movement below her feet, with no apparent fear at all, but none of the familiar, smiling affection she reserved for Hudson either. Instead, she simply seemed to be observing him, her hazel eyes tracking the movement with notable interest.  
'All cat names are silly, they're _cats_ ,' Aram promptly countered, rounding the edge of the kitchen and moving past them with the water bowl in order to set it down in the corner next to the already filled food bowl. He stood straight again, pausing just for a second with a satisfied nod to watch the cat scamper towards the bowl, before strolling back past them again –this time, to plate up his and Samar's own dinner that she had prepared earlier with Leila's. 'Come on, it's not like I'm naming him something completely ridiculous like _Steve_. Besides, he's a ginger cat.'

Samar furrowed her brow in confusion. Aram finally took his seat at the table on her other side, setting down a dinner plate in front of each of them.  

'So?' She asked, completely baffled. Aram paused, slowly lowering his fork back to his plate and shaking his head.  
'Like Puss in Boots?' He tried to explain. 'Bandit?' Aram bit his lip, torn between amusement, and sheer disbelief at the way the idea had gone flying over her head. 'You don't see the joke?' Samar rolled her eyes, and let out an exasperated sigh at the sudden realisation.   
'Well, now that you've _explained_ it...' She mused, then trailed off. Samar turned in her seat to wipe the last of the vegetable drool from Leila's face, fingers and tray, but not quick enough to hide from Aram the tiny, amused smirk that tugged at her lips.   
'So that's a yes?' Aram gently pushed further. The eagerness was clear, no matter the fact that he was trying to hold it back  
'He's _your_ cat.' Samar nonchalantly shrugged her shoulders. She rose from her seat, picking up Leila's dinner bowl from her high chair tray, and stepping into the kitchen to dump it in the sink. She picked up the colourful, plastic, stacking rings from the counter on the way back past, setting them down in front of Leila, before returning to her seat and digging into her own dinner. Leila babbled happily, pushing the rings around on the tray and waving the red one around in the air.  
' _Our_ cat,' Aram gently corrected her.   
'Name him whatever you like though,' Samar finally broke into a smirk. For a split second they both eyed Leila with a hint of pride as she managed to push the red ring onto the stand she was supposed to be stacking them on, then fumbled with the next ring on her tray –a green one, this time. By the legs of her high chair once again, the fuzzy, ginger cat stared up at her, watching the colourful rings being waved around above his head with distinct interest all of his own. Samar glanced back to Aram by her other side, a wry smile finally etching its way across her face as she mused again; 'I'm not going to argue with you on that one.'  
'Bandit it is then,' he beamed. 

/*/*/*/*

The evening wore on. Samar and Aram finished their dinner, and back at Liz's apartment, Sammy and Sofia continued getting along well... Which was to say, after their own dinner, bath time, and a little more time spent playing together, they had quietened down and settled happily on the couch with a pile of picture books. Sammy had managed to nestle herself between Sofia and Liz, as Liz read aloud to them one book after another... Until Sammy's eyes fell firmly closed. Sofia didn't even bat an eyelid as she very quickly became Sammy's human pillow. Instead, she simply nuzzled in closer to them both, until Liz finally reached the end of the book. Liz couldn't help but smile at the two of them together... And she only smiled more so when she carefully rose from the couch and gently lifted Sammy into her arms to carry the sleeping toddler to her crib, all the while Sofia scooped up Ziggy and quickly scurried after them.  

'Don't forget Ziggy, Miss Lizzie,' she whispered earnestly, holding Sammy's favourite zebra up for Liz to see.  
'Oh,' Liz began, smiling softly back at the little girl as she took the zebra from her hands, 'thank you.' Sofia bounced eagerly on the balls of her feet, giving a satisfied nod the second Liz tucked Ziggy into the crib next to Sammy. No matter how many times Liz had said throughout the evening that Sofia didn't have to call her 'Miss', the little girl insisted, claiming that her father had told her to always use titles for adults because it was polite... And not only was Sofia exceptionally polite –always remembering her pleases and thank you's- she also seemed to take great joy in trying to be helpful, such as now; she seemed delighted by the idea of having ensured Ziggy's correct placement by Sammy's side. 'Ziggy's _very_ important,' Liz observed, nodding as sagely as she could muster. Sofia's face lit up at the statement, as she ambled back out of Sammy's room, right on Liz's heels.  

Liz returned to the couch, and to the pile of blankets and pillows she had left beside it earlier. She unfolded the couch, seamlessly pushing it backwards into bed mode, and quickly layered the blankets across it.

'And now...' Liz began, flicking the last blanket across the couch with a flourish just for Sofia's entertainment, 'it's bedtime for you too, kiddo.'  
'Awww,' Sofia giggled.  
'Come on,' Liz chuckled back, gesturing towards the couch. Sofia clambered obediently back up onto the now folded out couch, and nuzzled into the covers. She looked absolutely tiny, wrapped in all the blankets and surrounded by all the pillows and cushions. Liz held back an adoring laugh at the sight of her there, buried amongst them all. It really wasn't necessary to keep _all_ the cushions on the couch, but Sofia seemed to like them... And so long as she was happy and comfortable, that was all that mattered. Liz gently tucked her in, then softly tousled Sofia's hair.   
'Will my Daddy be back tomorrow?' She quietly asked Liz.  
'Maybe, if the doctors say he can go home,' Liz tried to sound hopeful, 'they might want to take extra good care of him and make him stay one more day though.' Liz paused, shooting Sofia a mischievous wink; 'that scary lady from Social Services will tell me tomorrow.' Sofia giggled; she hadn't liked the cranky Social Services lady _at all_ , and neither had Liz... Something that the two of them had quickly bonded over once Liz had managed to get Sofia talking. She laughed for a moment, before taking on a gentler, more earnest expression; 'is that ok?'  
'Yeah, I guess so,' Sofia let out a yawn, and reluctantly nodded, 'Daddy has to get better.' The little girl then smiled sleepily up at Liz; 'and you and Sammy are fun.' A breath caught in Liz's throat; Sofia was trying so hard to be brave and strong, despite how much she clearly missed her dad.  
'I’m glad,' Liz said softly. She gently brushed the last strand of Sofia's messy hair back out of her eyes and tucked it behind her ear, then closed her eyes slowly as she leaned down to press a kiss to her forehead. 'Good night, Sofia,' she murmured.  
'Good night, Miss Lizzie,' Sofia giggled happily. Liz rose from the edge of the couch, bowing her head slightly as she headed for the doorway, and Sofia curled even more so into her miniature mountain of pillows and blankets.  

A soft, thoughtful smile crept across Liz's face as she stood just in the doorway to the hallway for one moment longer, staring through the darkness after switching off the lights. Despite the initial apprehension about becoming a foster carer instead of adopting a newborn through an agency, the longer Liz had spent with Sofia over the evening, the more that apprehension eased. Helping children who were both unwanted and who had missed out on the opportunity of being adopted earlier, only to be bumped continually through the system,  or helping children who were stuck in that unfortunate situation where for a time, they had nobody else, just like Sofia did... And almost like Liz had once upon a time. Whatever it was about her past and being torn from her parents that Liz didn't know, somehow after that she had found a home with Sam. She had been that little bit older herself –four years old, not a newborn- and she'd had nobody else but him... Liz exhaled slowly, finally tearing her eyes away from Sofia's tiny form nestled into the couch, bowing her head and heading towards her own room. She knew for sure now, that adopting this way was what she wanted to do.

The only problem after that was; Sofia was sleeping on the fold out couch.  

That was fine for the one night, maybe two that Sofia was there, but it wasn't at all plausible for the long term plan for a second child to live there. Sure, Sammy could share her room... But it would become squashy over time, as cribs evolved into beds. In the long term, the apartment they lived in now, wasn't going to be big enough, and that meant one thing...

...Now it was Liz's turn to start looking for somewhere new.  

/*/*/*/*

In one single, fluid motion, Bandit the cat jumped up onto the couch where Samar was quite contently reading, and minding her own business. Leila was finally asleep, and Samar was making the most of another quiet, peaceful moment after the long, busy day, until she felt sleepy enough to go to bed herself. Aram however, was uncharacteristically less content to sit still. He had spent the evening alternating between practically chasing Bandit around the apartment, desperate to shower the ginger furball with affection... And pausing, sighing in frustration at the way the cat continued to scamper _away_ from him every time he got close.  

'I don't think he likes me,' Aram complained, dejectedly eyeing the way the cat was now trying to push its way under Samar's arm on the couch, and rest its head on her legs –notably _between_ her and her book.   
'Maybe he thinks you're smothering him,' Samar murmured, neither lifting her gaze from her page, nor giving in to Bandit's apparent demand for her attention. Finally, she glanced up when Aram didn't respond, and her face contorted in sympathy at the almost jealous expression he bore while watching Bandit's latest attempt to snuggle up beside her. 'Hey, he's a cat,' she gently pointed out. 'Cats ignore people, so I'm just doing to him what he's doing to you... Ignoring him.' To be specific, despite Bandit's constant running away from Aram, he had insisted on following _her_ around everywhere in the apartment ever since dinner.   
'So you're saying... If I try ignoring him, he'll appreciate my efforts to assimilate to cat culture, and _then_ maybe he'll like me?' Aram said flatly.   
'Well, I was meaning to say that maybe he just doesn't like being stared at and chased around everywhere,' Samar tried desperately to sound sympathetic, rather than laugh at him... Though it had been far more amusing than what she would have expected, to watch Aram's fully grown, adult self, chasing a tiny, orange cat around the apartment all evening, just to give it cuddles. 'But hey, what you said works too.' Aram gave another defeated sigh, and slumped down onto the couch beside her. 'If it's any consolation, I _wish_ he would follow you around instead of me,' she added earnestly.  

Aram simply grumbled to himself instead of responding. From the coffee table, he pulled his laptop towards him, opening it up to check his emails one last time as Samar promptly refocused her gaze on her book. A small smile tugged at Aram's lips as he saw a new one had indeed popped up; one from their lawyer.  

'Paperwork's all filed,' he murmured, reading the confirmation aloud from the email. 'Assuming no more dramas happen, the adoption will all be finalised and court official in six more months from today.' Aram took a deep breath; it all felt so surreal to read that confirmation, after having waited for so long. Beside him, and still focused on her book, Samar too, smiled softly at the news. Silence fell between them for a moment, as Aram read those words over and over again off his screen... Until a strange, fuzzy sensation brushed against his hand where it rested on the edge of the keyboard.

Bandit. _Finally_ nudging his hand, wanting a belly rub.

Aram looked decidedly unimpressed as he glanced down at the cat stretched out beside him, and now nudging his knee with his waffly nose.  

'Oh, _now_   you want my attention?' He asked the cat incredulously. Aram narrowed his eyes as he stared at the mass of ginger fur, debating in his mind whether he was delighted at finally having the opportunity to pat the cat, or whether it made more sense to stubbornly, and spitefully ignore the cat for five seconds longer.   
'Yeah, because you ignored him for five minutes to talk to me instead, I rest my case,' Samar chuckled, eyeing the disgruntled expression on Aram's face. 'Or maybe he's just celebrating the occasion with you.'   
'It _is_ a big day,' Aram mused. As much as the cat's earlier rejection of him had been irritating, all idea of spite was simply that; an idea. Aram gently ran his fingers along the soft fur, first scratching between Bandit's ears, and then rubbing his belly. He couldn’t help himself really, and Bandit's loud purring like a freight train in response only made Aram's eyes happily crinkle more so.   
'Mmhmm...'  
'Liz has her first overnight foster case... And we have a _cat_.'  
'All important steps, of course,' Samar muttered drolly.   
'Of course,' Aram repeated, chuckling back, before quickly taking on a more serious expression. 'Steps towards what?' Samar simply shrugged, shooting him a wry smile as she leaned across the couch, across the cat, to lean her chin on his shoulder and tilt her head to kiss his cheek.   
'The future, I guess.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up... A time of year that normally calls for pumpkins, but instead there will be... 'Peas?'
> 
> Righto; many thanks to thebeautifulbadass for the references to her adorable story 'Lizvabi and the Cat'! We had many a discussion about the concept of Samar and cats (and what she would call them), and those culminated in her story, and then this chapter, respectively. The joke about Aram not calling this cat Steve (which was the name of the cat in her story) was one I've been sitting on for a while, just itching for the right moment to throw it in. If you haven't read the Lizvabi story yet, you definitely should! :D
> 
> And, here's Bandit!  
> [](https://www.flickr.com/gp/152300685@N03/T1r6sM)


	75. Peas?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Tuesday, October 31, 2017.
> 
> So I nearly missed one of the flights home because the previous one was delayed, but I got here in the end, hooray! I know I haven't written in a while because I've just tried to start up again in the last couple of days with Chapter 83 and it feels veeeery rusty. Good thing I still have a buffer of chapters and can spend a bit of time catching up! :o
> 
> Now, this one comes with a Warning for Utterly Atrocious Puns. It's also the last fluffy one before angst picks up again for a while. Enjoy!

It took one glance at Aram that morning to know that he was up to something... Again. There was that look of pure, mischievous glee that had crossed his face, and Samar had managed to glance across to where he sat at the dining table with his breakfast, at just the right moment to catch it the second it appeared. Aram's eyes lit up, the standard enthusiasm that came with a sudden, brand new idea. From where she had paused in the middle of the living room, mid crossing from the hallway to the kitchen, the second she saw his expression change... Samar knew.  

'What are you thinking?' She asked warily, and against her better judgement. Aram swivelled in his seat to face her. All the while he struggled to stop the delighted grin from spreading ear to ear.   
'What makes you assume I'm thinking anything?' He stalled. Aram shot her a teasing smile, not even trying to appear innocent. Samar simply raised a suspicious eyebrow, and Aram instantly conceded. 'Ok, so Halloween is coming up-' Samar grimaced as soon as the words came tumbling out of his mouth '-and I just had the perfect idea.' Aram paused, looking all too pleased with himself for a second, and Samar had to prompt him to continue;  
'You want Leila to be Princess Jasmine?' She asked drolly, and finally taking those last few steps into the kitchen to dump her now empty water bottle into the sink.  
'Of course not.' Aram's grin broke in favour of a far more indignant expression. 'That's a costume we have to save until she's a few years older, and she can actually appreciate it.' He stood from the table, biting down on the last mouthful of his toast, and picked up his plate, ready to dump that in the sink too. 'Obviously, Princess Jasmine is going to be her favourite Disney princess, and you _can't_ repeat Halloween costumes.' Samar's eyes widened a little at his matter of fact tone; she knew Halloween was something he took seriously –and Liz too, for that matter. It was another one of those American traditions like Thanksgiving that she hadn't grown up with, nor ever really put much thought into at all, until Aram and Liz brought it up... But this was a little more serious than anticipated.   
'Wonder Woman, then?' Samar asked, even more warily than before, as she turned, leaning back against the counter to face him again.   
'That's you,' Aram countered, shaking his head. 'Leila is Wonder _Girl_.' He paused as he withdrew his hand from the sink, furrowing his brow in confusion. 'Wait, does that make me Steve Trevor?' He thought aloud. 'Because I mean, Wonder Girl is technically Wonder Woman's little sister so none of that quite lines up. Maybe I'm Zeus instead? No... That doesn't work either...' Samar stared back at him blankly, having no idea who Steve Trevor was supposed to be, or understanding any of his sudden babbling at all, for that matter. Regardless, Aram shook his head, dismissing his own thought; 'never mind, we're getting off topic,' he muttered.   
'Which was supposed to be what, exactly?' Samar couldn't help but laugh as she asked the question; the entire conversation baffled her.

The look of mischievous glee instantly returned to Aram's face.

'Leila and Sammy should have a joint costume.' He bobbed his head up and down, as if trying to emphasize the brilliance of his own idea.   
'They're too little for both candy and trick or treat-ing,' Samar countered, albeit gently. She brushed past him, opening the door of the fridge behind him, and pulling out the carton of tropical breakfast juice. She held it up for him to see as she then pulled down a glass for herself from the overhead cabinets –the universal gesture asking if he wanted some too.   
'Dressing up is fun for all ages,' Aram protested, but nodded his head to the offer of juice all the same. Samar let out a sigh of mock exasperation, pulling down a second glass, and pouring both.   
'Are you trying to suggest that we also should-' she tried to ask, handing over Aram's glass.   
'-Oh you're right!' Aram cut her off in utter delight, seeing straight away where her train of thought was going. Samar winced; she had thought that all of them dressing up was what he had been hinting at but evidently, that was not the case... And instead, she had just accidentally given him the idea. 'We all should have a joint costume!' Aram's face lit up with new idea enthusiasm _all_ over again, and he bounced forwards on the balls of his feet to dot an exceptionally pleased kiss to her cheek. Samar let out another sigh that in reality, was barely shy of a groan... But Aram had already whipped his phone out from his trouser pocket, and hit the speed dial button he had reserved for Liz –who was outranked on the list solely by his parents and Samar. 'Liz,' he quickly started as soon as she answered the phone; 'what are your thoughts on a group costume for Halloween?'

/*/*/*/*

Samar was outvoted; Liz agreed with Aram in an instant that a group costume was a great idea... Or at least, she thought it was hilarious to agree with him because they all knew it would drive Samar crazy. It could have been either or both, Samar wasn't exactly sure, but no matter, it was agreed. The only question that remained was _what_ exactly they would all dress up as. That ended up being Liz's brainchild, in almost as equally sudden and delighted a fashion as Aram's idea for the group costume in the first place.

Two peas in a pod.

-Which, was exactly how Ressler described Sammy and Leila the very next morning, when Samar, Aram, and Liz all happened to arrive at the Post Office at the same time, and the two little ones instantly lit up with wide, gummy smiles of recognition as soon as they clapped eyes on one another. Clearly, Ressler didn't think to watch his words or at least, he said it out of sheer habit and without thinking that such a phrase could possibly end up resulting in a Halloween costume but nonetheless, it was set. Leila and Sammy were to be dressed up as identical peas.

It took all of ten seconds after hearing the idea that Mehri too, while on the phone to Aram, decided that she wanted to knit them matching, green, leafy hats that said 'Pea 1' and 'Pea 2' as part of their costume.

Besides that, they were to be dressed all in green –Samar instantly realising the downside of green being her favourite colour and thus, always ensuring that Leila had numerous shades of green in her wardrobe. Sammy only needed green leggings to go with her shirt and well... Leila had more than enough to share. Aram's plan was to dress all in green himself, and carry them around –one in each arm- as their 'pod'. At least, until he lit up with the mischievous grin of yet another idea.

'Samar, you wear a lot of khaki,' he blurted out suddenly, mid-tracking the cell phone of some suspect that Cooper had ordered him to find that morning. Samar swivelled in her office chair, eyeing him curiously over the thoroughfare that was the space between their desks.   
'You're just realising this now?' She teased, a smirk tugging at her lips. Aram simply gestured at the jacket she was wearing; the lightweight, khaki, multi-pocketed one that she wore regularly. It was easily one of her favourites, and it was far from the only item of clothing she had in the same colour.   
'You could be a much better pod than me, with that jacket,' he observed, nodding earnestly. Liz tried desperately to stifle a laugh from where she stood in the thoroughfare between them, and Samar was stunned. She had no idea how to counter such a ridiculous statement logically.   
'I can do you one better,' Liz's voice piped up, earning both their attention. She smirked as she continued; 'pea pods technically have _two_ sides, and we've got both Sammy and Leila to carry around. We really should have two halves of our pod.' Liz turned on the spot, shifting her gaze from sharing an amused grin with Aram, to looking pointedly at Samar. Aram did much the same, his lip twitching in the attempt to keep a straight face rather than laughing.  

Samar paused without saying anything, stuck on how she could possibly respond to that.  

'Should we leave you to some _pease_ and quiet while you think about it?' Aram spoke up again, snickering to himself. Liz clasped a hand over her mouth, covering a snort of laughter she couldn't stop from escaping at the pun.   
'Yeah, come on Samar,' she added, through a laugh, 'you don't want a _peas_ of the action?' For a second, and despite the utter exasperation she felt at their atrocious jokes, Samar actually considered it. She was so used to being the serious one whenever they got themselves into some of their more childish antics. _Perhaps,_ she thought to herself, _it might actually be mildly entertaining to join in for once_. Liz pulled a face at Samar's delay in responding; her bottom lip popped out in a mock pout, and her eyes widened, staring at Samar _pleadingly_. ' _Pease?'_ She added. The thoughtful expression instantly vanished from Samar's face.  
'I _was_ considering it, until you broke out that last pea pun,' she said drolly, and rolling her eyes.   
'So much for being a sweet pea,' Aram stage muttered under his breath. Samar, and even Liz too this time, both shot him a look; that attempt truly _was_ terrible. Samar shook her head in exasperated amazement as she murmured back;  
'How many pea-related puns does one have to include in a single conversation?'

/*/*/*/*

Halloween day came around. Liz ended up being the other half to Aram's pod, and she and Samar both took great delight in discovering that Mehri had knitted him a hat too, as well as those for Sammy and Leila. Aram's hat, however, was a three-bobble, circus joker style, bright green hat with the word 'pod' embroidered across the front, which Mehri _claimed_ was just in case the 'Pea 1' and 'Pea 2' hats and all the green clothes wasn't enough to make the costume clear. The sincerity with which she made the statement nearly rivalled the level of drollness usually claimed solely by Samar and Naveed.

Needless to say, Samar was particularly impressed when Mehri even went so far as to feign offence when they picked up the hats for Sammy and Leila, and Aram baulked at his own.  

Aram on the other hand, was notably _not_ so impressed at the snickering he heard burst out from behind him, when she waved him and Samar goodbye ten minutes later.     

He did _not_ want to wear that hat, but Samar and Liz were adamant that he had to, especially after he was the one who started the whole, ridiculous mess. In the end, Aram went along with it –after all, he was a good sport and could see the funny side of the hat once the horror wore off. He and Liz dressed all in green, Sammy and Leila too. All necessary hats were donned –Sammy being Pea 1, seeing as she was born first, and Leila being Pea 2. Aram and Liz stood side by side, each carrying one munchkin in one arm, and linking their other arms to form their collective pod. And with that, off they went. Amy and Gina from the childcare centre downstairs brought all the other kids upstairs too, nearly all of which had been dressed up by their own parents for the occasion, and the entire group paraded around the war room in a chaotic mess of colourful characters, animals, or other such nonsense.  

Cooper, it seemed, had set aside the afternoon as a surprise for all the staff at the Post Office –or at least, an hour or so of it anyway- with Amy and Gina's help, for what was supposed to be a well deserved reward for his agents that otherwise spent all their time there, completely serious. The entire war room was decked out in Halloween decorations, and the kids –alongside their agent parents- trick or treated from office to office. Each office was host to some kind of little game or other treat, rather than giving the little ones candy they couldn't eat. Ressler's office was first, where to essentially 'open' the show, he showered Aram, Liz, Sammy, Leila, and all the others, in a cloud of colourful confetti.

Thankfully, everyone avoided the topic of asking him who exactly was supposed to clean up all the lingering confetti afterwards.

Ressler trailed to the back of the group, falling in step with Samar as they moved from office to office. She was watching them all, quietly but with a small smile on her face all the same.  

'Dressing up seemed too silly to you too, huh?' He chuckled quietly. Samar glanced sideways at him, eyeing the crisp suit and tie tied as straight as humanly possible, as was the way he always looked. Just like her, he hadn't taken the opportunity to add a silly, paper, pumpkin hat to the mix as had some of the other agents joining in the fun.  
'I never got to celebrate Halloween as a kid,' she replied softly, keeping her voice down so as not to speak over the group, 'I don't think I really appreciated it before now.' Ressler nodded, listening and understanding even though his eyes were back on Leila and Sammy, rather than Samar as she spoke.   
'I did when I was little, but now not so much,' he murmured. 'You can't really dress up and go trick or treating as an adult unless you're a part of a group of college students, or you've got kids of your own.'  
'It does look fun,' Samar absentmindedly mused. Silence fell between them for a moment, while they watched the crowd. Ear to ear, gummy smiles stretched wide across both Sammy and Leila's faces. They and all the other kids on the group were smiling and laughing, their collective attention focused on the finger puppet show being put on for them outside Cooper's office by a handful of the evidence lab techs. Colourful confetti still lingered, dotted and stuck all through Sammy and Leila's hair and hats, but neither even seemed to notice; they bounced instead, in Aram and Liz's arms, eyes crinkled delightedly at the dancing animal finger puppets, and the silly accents and voices put on by the lab techs as they told the absurd tale of rainbow, pocket-sized, flying elephants who were following an invisible treasure map in the search for the lost Halloween pumpkin.   
'Samar Navabi, don't tell me you've got an inner five year old just like they do,' Ressler teased, gasping in mock horror. He caught Samar's eye, just as she pursed her lips in wordless response... And they both knew; they both did find all the nonsense as amusing as Aram and Liz did. They just simply weren't used to expressing it quite as openly without judgement. Instead, they were both far more inclined to hold back the laughs, lips twitching as they kept their amusement quietly to themselves, and watch Aram and Liz pleadingly try to argue their cases for shenanigans. 'Yeah, I repress mine too,' Ressler murmured again, smiling softly just as she was. Both their gazes returned to the puppet show, and the pea hat beginning to tip and slide sideways off the top of Leila's head. Samar chuckled quietly to herself; as Leila and Sammy grew, her inner child –and Ressler's too, probably- was going to eventually be coaxed out at some point or another. In some ways, it had even already started to.   
'I won't tell if you don't,' Samar muttered to him, not taking her eyes off Leila for a second. Ressler simply smirked as he replied;  
'Deal.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, the angst comes back with a bang, in a new little arc starting with 'Analogue'. Brace for cliffhangers!


	76. Analogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Tuesday, November 7, 2017.

**_TUESDAY MORNING..._ **

It was an ordinary day at the Post Office; phones rang, reports were written, and files came and went. Sammy and Leila went downstairs to the childcare centre without a fuss upon arrival at the building, the coffee machine in the break room was subject to the same queue of agents that awaited its caffeinated elixir of life every morning, and the fridge fell victim to the usual morning war over who could fill its shelf space with their lunch first.  

Strands of bright orange cat fluff that stuck with static to the ankles of Samar's dark jeans caught her eye as she stared at the paperwork pile on her desk, only for her to momentarily glance at the ankles of Aram's equally dark trousers that were notably _free_ of such fluff, and then roll her eyes.

All in all, it _seemed_ like every other morning.  

The computers were switched on and fired up, but other than that the war room was relatively quiet. The day was just starting.

And then the elevator doors rumbled open unexpectedly.  

At first nobody thought much of it, until Liz happened to glance over from where she stood on the other side of Samar's desk, and stop talking mid-sentence. Reddington was marching out of the elevator, Dembe right behind him, and heading quickly for them. Not strolling casually like he normally would, enjoying the feeling of knowing something they didn't until he told them... But marching, with a tight frown etched across his face as he stared straight ahead; he was moving with a purpose, and an urgent, significant one at that. One by one they turned and stared, as Liz's sudden silence registered in all their minds. Reddington walked past all of them, not even paying them a second glance... Until he reached Aram's desk. Aram's eyes widened, startled by the sudden stop in front of his desk.

'Uh, good morning, Mr Reddingt-' he began, almost nervously. Reddington stared back at him with that flat, not-quite grimace, he reserved for only the most serious, most concerning moments. To those that didn't know him, it almost seemed like he was completely calm, but to those that did... The ever so slight tightening of his jaw, and the way he stood up particularly straight said it all; something big was happening, and it worried him.   
'-You need to leave,' Reddington said quickly, with his usual forced calm. Aram simply blinked, completely caught off guard.  
'Wait, what-' he tried to protest.  
'-Now, Aram,' Reddington cut him off. 'You need to come with me.'  
'Wha- why?' Aram's shoulders tensed anxiously, and the sudden fear and alarm was etched clear across his face. Samar, Liz, Ressler, and Cooper were all scattered at various points around the war room, all listening in equally baffled and concerned.   
'There's no time for that,' Reddington continued to push. Finally, his voice shook with a hint of urgency. 'We're running out of time, I can explain why to you later, but for now, Aram, you _need_ to leave.'  
'Hold on-' Cooper's voice boomed authoritatively across the room, but Reddington ignored him.  
'-Aram-' he tried to urge again. Aram's eyes darted across the room, glancing at each and every one of them. It felt like he was caught in the middle, and he had absolutely no idea what he was supposed to say.  
'-Reddington-' Samar tried to interject from her own position standing by her desk, but she in turn, was quickly cut off.

The doors of the elevator made their familiar, rumbling noise again. Somewhere, an alarm began to sound, making them all jump, and glance back and forth at each other and around the room in confusion. Chaos unfolded; agents piled out of the elevator all at once, yelling loudly and storming into the war room, all equipped with tactical gear, vests, helmets, and weapons drawn. Aram felt a sharp tug at his arm that pulled him sideways before he could either protest or take in what was happening. Not one single, other member of the taskforce noticed him disappear; each one of them had turned to face the opposite direction, focused on raising their badges in their hands, and trying to stop the sudden intrusion.  

' _Nobody move_ ,' shouted the agent who seemed to be leading the charge, he stood front and centre of the intruding team. He marched straight up to Cooper –who was making his own point of standing in front of the team, taking charge- with a distinct, smug scowl. 'Agent Jack Shaw,' he declared himself, 'Homeland Security anti-corruption taskforce, we're here for one Aram Mojtabai.'  
'On what charges?' Samar burst out, absolutely astounded, from just behind Cooper. From Cooper's other side, Ressler and Liz both glared at Shaw in furious agreement.   
'Hacking, corruption, conspiracy, espionage, treason...' Shaw sighed, with a snide smile. Already it was clear; he was far too pleased with himself, and not at all interested in giving Aram the benefit of the doubt. 'Take your pick.' Shaw promptly brushed past Cooper, his own team quick on his heels, and panned his steely gaze around the war room. 'Now, where is he?'  
'You can't just arrest one of my peopl-' Cooper began to argue, turning on the spot in time with the rest of the tea, to follow Shaw... And then he suddenly stopped, shocked.   
'-Aram?' Samar's brow furrowed in concern and confusion.   
'Where did he go?' Liz's murmured question echoed that in all their minds.  

Aram, Reddington, and Dembe were gone.  

/*/*/*/*

The sunlight streamed into Aram's eyes as Dembe practically dragged him out through one of the Post Office's back service doors, and out onto the street. As soon as the alarm had sounded and everyone else had turned away, Dembe had grasped Aram by the arm and led him away in the opposite direction, quickly ducking behind some of the concrete columns before Shaw's team could spot them, and then darting down the rabbit's warren of corridors, until they reached the service door. Reddington's usual black town car was parked right outside, almost as if he had anticipated needing to take such drastic measures. They reached it quickly, with Dembe opening the rear passenger door, pushing Aram inside, and then ducking around to the driver's side just as Red joined Aram in the back.  

The car raced off down the street. Aram swivelled in his seat, absolutely stunned, and staring back at Reddington in terror.

Finally, words came back to him as the Post Office disappeared quickly from view;  
'Mr Reddington, what's going on?'

/*/*/*/*

Samar tapped her foot furiously on the concrete path. She sat on the small bench that ran alongside it, in the empty park where Reddington had asked her to meet. She was alone; he had been particular about that on the phone. He had called, perhaps an hour or so after the chaos at the war room, instructing her to find an excuse to leave for a while, because he had information...

...And so, there she was.

In the meantime, Shaw's team had taken over the building. He had assigned his own technician to Aram's desk, and ordered him to investigate everything he could find in Aram's computers... All the while he argued with Cooper about whether or not Aram should be a suspect in his case, and whether Cooper's views –and those of the rest of the team, for that matter- should have him barred from the investigation, or if they should attempt to work together. As far as Cooper was concerned, taking the latter option would keep them all in the loop, but the slight flaw in that plan was that none of them were prepared to accept the idea that Aram could possibly be suspected of the crimes Shaw's team was alleging he had committed.  

'Samar-' Reddington's voice cut through the air and rang in her ears. Samar's head snapped up, jolted from her anxious tapping on and staring at the ground. She hurriedly rose from the bench, her anxious eyes practically boring into Reddington's skull.  
'-Where is he?' She asked, straight and to the point, and cutting Reddington's words off in the process.  
'Safe,' Reddington said, quite simply.   
'Safe _where?'_   Samar asked again, far less patiently this time.    
'One of my safehouses.' Reddington reached out, resting one hand on the side of her arm in an attempt to both calm and reassure her. There was a look he gave her, that made Samar instantly falter before asking again; he wasn't going to tell her, no matter how often or how frustratedly she asked him. With Aram a suspect, and Samar easily one of the closest people to him, it was only a matter of time before she was questioned... And if she didn't know where he was, there was no way she could accidentally let it slip. Not that she ever tended to let anything accidentally slip, but Red keeping Aram's location to himself reduced the possibility to zero. It was also one less dilemma to face when she finally had to tell Mehri and Naveed what was going on. If she didn't know where Aram was, she didn't have to deal with the guilt-stricken internal debate of whether to keep the same information from them too... Because they certainly were at risk of accidentally letting it slip if questioned. They didn't have the same counter-interrogation training that Mossad had drilled into her.  

But all that practical thinking aside, Samar was still emotional. In the space of barely two hours everything had gone from normal –where the most frustrating thing on her mind was Bandit's cat fur on her clothes- to Aram being accused of all kinds of cybercrimes and then some, and then being ripped away from her... And she still didn't know why. All she wanted in that moment was to know where he was, and that he was safe... But it wasn't going to happen.  

Reddington took her shoulders slumping in defeat to mean that she was finally going to stop asking, and he took a seat on the bench, gesturing for Samar to sit beside him. Warily, she did so, and Dembe stood just behind them, watching as he always did.  

'I can't go back to the Post Office while Agent Shaw is there,' Reddington muttered to her. He was trying to be discreet, and Samar followed suit. She stared at the path by their feet once more, rather than meeting his eye when she spoke.  
'Why?' She murmured back.  
'He can't know I'm your informant,' Reddington explained quietly. Still, his hand rested on her arm, lest Samar make any sudden, physical reaction. 'He's supposed to be the head of the anti-corruption taskforce but in reality, Agent Shaw is the most corrupt of them all.' Reddington paused for a second, pursing his lips. 'Jack Shaw is your newest Blacklister, Agent Navabi.'  
'That sounds like something you should be telling Liz,' Samar muttered flatly. A breath had caught in her throat as he had spoken, however... But Samar was steadying herself, trying to keep her composure. This was not a case where she could afford to lose her cool. The more shadowy the suspect, the more delicately she had to handle it –and a corrupt agent who had led a high level taskforce was certainly someone who kept his crimes to the shadows.  
'It does, but given the circumstances...' Reddington trailed off for a second. 'Elizabeth's eyes are probably better focused on the case right now than yours would be, while you're far more inclined to work outside the system with me to protect Aram.' Samar gave a short nod, still not looking at Reddington just as he wasn't looking at her. To anyone else, they were just two people that sat side by side on a park bench. Samar bit her lip, processing the idea before she spoke again;  
'So... Tell me about Shaw.'

Agent Shaw, Reddington explained, used his job to do the exact opposite of what he was supposed to do. Instead of taking down not just any corrupt law enforcement agents, but those whose actions specifically threatened national security –which was the intended mission of Shaw's taskforce- Shaw used his job to protect himself and other corrupt agents. He was in their pockets, or the pockets of their less than legal employers –varying with each case- and instead of taking them down, he framed other, innocent agents for their crimes, using each case to help the real criminals better hide their footprints. Shaw made it _look_ like corruption in federal agencies was steadily being reduced, but instead he was the ultimate inside man, twisting the system and pocketing the proceeds... All the while his team of agents remained totally unsuspecting.  

And Aram was just his latest target.

Shaw handpicked which innocent agents he wanted to frame, choosing those who he thought were least likely to prove their innocence on the basis that their more minor indiscretions _could_ be proven. All more serious allegations after that were just the slippery slope of guilt. Aram, as they all knew, frequently took a wrong-thing-for-the-right-reasons approach to hacking. He regularly twisted the meaning of the rules to find them the information they needed during cases; deliberating not checking warrants for information, conveniently 'forgetting' to ask for them, and so on... And that was just at _work._ Aram wasn't Ressler in the sense of eagerly following the rules at all times; he had the intense faith in human kind, and the determined passion for life that stopped him from even wanting to _carry_ a weapon, but as far as he was concerned, questions of mere information were an entirely different matter. So long as he knew his hacking wasn't going to lead to someone being hurt, Aram would do what needed to be done... Just as he had done way back when Liz was arrested and locked in the box in the Post Office, and Aram had changed the password without any authorisation whatsoever.  

Aram was impeccable when it came to hiding his digital trail... But it seemed Shaw, or someone Shaw had roped in, had stumbled across a tiny breadcrumb of Aram's hacking, and everything had deteriorated from there.  

It was alleged that Aram, for whatever reason, had used his computer to access enemy government servers. What he was looking at, or whether or not he actually _had_ accessed such servers, were questions that remained lingering in the air. In the meantime, Shaw's taskforce was using the traces of Aram's less significant hacking to back up his claims that Aram was either a dangerous hacker, a sleeper agent for an enemy state who was feeding American intelligence back to his true employers, or the next Edward Snowden type... Or any combination thereof. Shaw had even gone so far in his argument with Cooper, to allege that Aram could be deemed a terrorist, and that his being born in Delaware simply made for a good cover as a member of a foreign sleeper cell.  

Needless to say Samar was furious... But at the same time she was grateful for the fact that somehow, Reddington had known what was going to happen before it did, and had managed to whisk Aram away. In other cases, it seemed, once Shaw had his grasp on someone, they never saw the outside of a prison cell again. It was an awful lot to process; Reddington was trying to explain as quickly and as matter of factly as he could. After all, they were racing against a clock to prove Aram's innocence before he was found... But his explanation certainly made sense of why Reddington was suddenly even more vehement in his desire to stay away from the Post Office. He couldn't risk Shaw taking the information that Reddington was an informant, back to every other corrupt agent in the country.  

'This is a defence that needs to be fought as digitally as Shaw launched his offence,' Reddington muttered again.  
'Aram was our technical expert,' Samar quickly pointed out.  
'So you'll need to bring in another one,' Reddington finished her trail of thought for her, nodding his agreement. 'I believe that friend of his at the classified Pacific island base was of great assistance to you when Shahin resurfaced, was he not?' Finally, Samar's eyes snapped to his.  
'How do you know about-' she began to ask.  
'-Technical Analyst Angus Stevenson?' Reddington smiled to himself. 'Remember what I told you the first time I met you, Agent Navabi; I know everything about the people tasked with finding me.' He smirked, reflecting back on that first encounter for a moment. 'Aram is a key member of your taskforce, of course I know that his college roommate works for the NSA. Call him, you'll need someone with those skills who you can trust.'

/*/*/*/*

**_TUESDAY AFTERNOON..._ **

Back at Reddington's safe house, Aram paced anxiously back and forth. It was only a small house, right on the outskirts of the city, set in the centre of a much larger piece of land and surrounded by trees. It was almost completely invisible through the trees to passing motorists, and that was precisely how Reddington liked it. Aside from the narrow dirt track at one end that could be mistaken for a side entrance to the neighbouring plot of land, Reddington's land appeared simply to be some kind of nature reserve. The house itself was cottage-like on the outside, covered in crawling rose vines. On the inside however, it was completely modern.

Except for the lack of anything vaguely resembling a computer or phone.

Reddington had taken Aram's phone from him within moments of the town car driving away from the Post Office, switched it off, and removed the battery. He wasn't taking any chances that their journey to the safe house could possibly be tracked. Upon arrival, Aram had been pointed in the direction of a prepaid, burner flip phone that could be used without being tracked, but only in the case of emergencies. That, was Aram's only contact with the outside world.

He was told not to leave the house... And that calling Samar simply to check on Leila most certainly did _not_ count as an emergency.  

Aram didn't really know what to do with himself. There was a bookshelf laden with aged copies of classic literature, or renditions of naval history. There was a chess board too, and a handful of tattered jigsaw puzzles. Other than that, however, there was little with which to occupy himself. Worry swirled anxiously around in Aram's mind; it was difficult to concentrate on much else. Reddington had explained to him in the car, everything he had subsequently explained to Samar at the park, and already Aram was brainstorming all the ways he would try to prove his innocence, and all the ways he would attempt to prove Shaw's guilt too. The one flaw in that plan, however, was that all his tactics required access to a computer... Which Aram of course, did not have. All he could do, in Red's words, was 'sit tight, enjoy your break from the digital world, and maybe read a book or two.'

Aram wrung his hands as he turned on the spot and resumed pacing in the opposite direction. He was certain the taskforce would manage to free him. As far as Aram concerned, he was of the opinion that they would always find the truth, no matter how difficult it was. It was simply a question of time. Just the fact they had managed to have Liz exonerated after the intricate network of conspiracy and lies that the Cabal had tried to bring her down with, was evidence to Aram that that could prove his innocence too, eventually.

But still, he had no doubt that he was going to fail dismally at Reddington's instruction to enjoy his 'break' rather than worrying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...That's only a teeny cliffhanger, right? Next up, 'Waiting'!
> 
> Alternatively, and as I finished off the last 2017 chapter of this timeline and moved onto 2018 (in itself, slightly terrifying because now I am seriously in end goal territory for this story :o ) I also started up another, much shorter, multichapter fic named 'Behind the Rose Covered Fence'. It's one of a number of ideas I've been sitting on for a while, and so my brain decided to start playing around with it. The first chapter is now up here on ao3 if you're interested. :)


	77. Waiting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Wednesday-Thursday, November 8-9, 2017.

**_WEDNESDAY..._ **

Attempting to explain the situation to Mehri and Naveed after leaving Reddington at the park, hadn't gone well. Samar had gone in person to their apartment rather than calling; she felt that such a conversation needed to be had face to face. But by the time she got there and started explaining, Samar was wishing that she could have had the distance and privacy of speaking from Liz's office, or her own living room. All at once, Samar had to try and explain the situation, console Aram's parents and promise that all was going to be ok, all while trying to mask how much more upset she was steadily becoming herself with every passing hour... And how doubtful she was that this was a battle they could win, too. Samar had gritted her teeth, willing the universe to keep her tear ducts in check, but there was no hiding the fact that she was rattled.

Naveed had stormed off, angry and deathly silent, the second the last words had escaped Samar's mouth. There was no doubt where he was going; up to the building's rooftop garden to take out his frustrations on the particularly prickly rosebush that needed pruning and had been bothering him for days. Samar tried not to take his brush past her and out the door personally; Naveed took it hard when his anything happened to his family, and he simply needed to process what was happening to his son, just as Samar had needed to process the same, much earlier in the day. Mehri, on the other hand, was nervous, but she tried desperately to remain calm. Her faith was in Samar to bring Aram back, but there was an edge to her tone when she said it, and Samar took that as her cue to leave them to it. As predicted, not being able to give them even the slightest clue as to where Aram was, ate away at them just as much as it did her... And so Samar had promised to keep them updated, then turned on her heels and left, eager to return to the Post Office and see how the case was progressing.  

By the next morning, however, barely anything had improved.

Samar, Liz, and Ressler left Cooper's office after a Shaw-free, quiet team meeting where Angus had updated them over speakerphone on his progress, only to arrive at the bottom of the stairs and have Shaw's team inform them that Shaw himself was busy in interrogation room three. Samar furrowed her brow in instant confusion, wondering who on earth besides Aram or herself could be interrogated about his computer, and marched towards the viewing room. The second that she saw who Shaw was busy belittling, her blood reached boiling point.

It was Mehri and Naveed.

Shaw had taken the team's disappearance upstairs as his cue to quietly bring in Aram's parents when Samar wasn't looking, and now he was berating them –rather than questioning them- for having raised a 'psychopathic spy'. Samar stormed immediately out of the viewing room, and straight into the interrogation room, cutting him off mid-yell.  
'What the _hell_ do you think you're doing?' She seethed. Her entire body shook with anger, and for once Samar didn't even care that her emotions were so visible to someone who could use them against her. Falsely accusing Aram of such crimes was one thing, but Shaw abusing his power to needlessly traumatise Mehri and Naveed was a completely different level. Shaw actually jumped at her outburst, as did Mehri and Naveed sitting at the rectangular, metal table at the centre of the room. Both were visibly shaken by Shaw's line of questioning, and Mehri in particular had tears streaming down her face. Naveed had one arm wrapped protectively around her shoulders, clutching her to his side, but that did nothing to stop Shaw's tirade. Shaw steadied himself, only allowing that split second of fear, before the surprise wore off and he resumed his superior expression. He turned, facing Samar and marching the two steps straight over to her. He made a point of deliberating invading her personal space, standing barely inches from her in the attempt to intimidate her, but Samar didn't back away. If anything, she took one step further forward.

Two could play at that game.

'Don't you normally question the people closest to your suspects?' Shaw sneered. He wasn't wrong; if anyone else had been accused of the same crimes and Samar had been working the case, one of the first few things she would have been ordered to do was question those closest to the suspect... But there was a difference between politely questioning, and the way Shaw was simply abusing Mehri and Naveed for the sake of his own sadistic power trip. Not to mention, this time it was personal.  
'I know what you're doing,' Samar growled, choosing to ignore his question instead. Shaw tilted his head, shooting her a sly smile.  
'Questioning other potential suspects?' He asked, oh so innocently. Samar rolled her eyes. Still, neither of them backed away from the other. Samar's teeth were gritted in fury, but for Mehri and Naveed's sake she tried to pull herself together.   
'You know what I'm talking about,' she hissed back.  
'You have no evidence,' Shaw taunted her. Samar raised a wry eyebrow.  
'Neither do you,' she pointed out. 'Not against them. They don't have to speak to you, and you can't hold them here without probable cause.'  
'You want me to just let them go?' Shaw's tone dripped with disdain, and it took everything Samar had to keep it together.   
'No,' she spat back, 'I'm going to _make_ you let them go.'  
'They're accessories to treason,' Shaw tried to argue.  
'No,' Samar turned as she spoke, gesturing for Mehri and Naveed to leave. Hesitantly, they rose from their seats, and shuffled towards the door. 'They're my _family_.' Shaw lunged around Samar, trying to grab Mehri tightly by the arm and stop them both from leaving, but Samar knew exactly what he was about to do the second he tried to move. Samar moved just as quickly, everything happening as if it were in slow motion. Her fingers curled into a tight fist, her arm pulled back, and then her fist quickly swung forward.

Her knuckles collided sharply with Shaw's nose before his fingertips could even graze Mehri's skin.

Shaw stumbled backwards, clutching at his face with both hands and crying out in pain. Drops of blood began to spill through his nose and leak through his fingers to the floor. He stared back at Samar in absolute stunned fury... But Samar ignored him. Instead she turned on the spot once more, blocking Shaw from possibly reaching Mehri and Naveed again where they stood stunned, in the doorway.  
'You two ok?' She asked softly. They both nodded, Mehri glancing fearfully around her shoulder at Shaw a few feet behind her, still clutching his nose in agony. Samar forced a reassuring smile, resting one hand gently on Mehri's arm, trying to shuffle them further out of the room and away from Shaw. 'Go on, Liz is out there, she'll guide you out,' she prompted. Mehri turned slowly, taking one step out into the corridor, but Naveed paused one second longer. He held Samar's gaze, his face etched with the sort of oddly proud expression she hadn't seen in years.

'Thank you,' he murmured earnestly to her. Samar gave a short nod, as Naveed's eyes panned momentarily to Shaw, and then back to her. A small smirk tugged at his lips, and his fingertips brushed against hers just quickly enough to give them a small squeeze. His final words before following Mehri out the door were barely audible, but Samar still caught them; 'good punch.'

/*/*/*/*

It didn't take long for Shaw to try and protest Samar's actions to Cooper. In one foul swoop he tried to argue that Samar was dangerous, crazy, had no self-control, and needed anger-management counselling, just for the sake of her one punch that _had_ broken his nose, but certainly hadn't knocked him out... Or even knocked him _over_ for that matter. His tirade was quickly shut down however, with Liz and Ressler –who had followed Samar into the viewing room- denying they saw anything. Cooper followed up their statements by pointing out that none of Shaw's team had been in either the interrogation room or the viewing room to see it either. Shaw had acted alone in his aggressive questioning, and the icing on the cake that made him even more furious, was the fact that in order to protect himself from potential backlash regarding his threats that were veiled so thinly they only barely resembled questioning, he had deliberately switched off the interrogation room cameras and other recording devices before even starting.  

There was no recording whatsoever, of Samar throwing her punch. It was Shaw's word, against that of Liz, Ressler, and herself... And they all agreed that Shaw had broken his nose walking into the interrogation room door while ever so politely showing Mehri and Naveed out.  

It didn't help bring Aram back at all, but it did fill Samar and the rest of the team with a certain hint of justice... And by then, Mehri and Naveed had returned to the safety of their own apartment.

There was little else they could do, really. As Reddington had warned Samar the day before, it was a war that could really only be fought via computer. There were no crime scenes to raid, no dead bodies to see, and no physical evidence to be sent to the forensics lab and analysed. The only way they could prove Aram's innocence, was to prove Shaw's guilt, and the only evidence that could prove either, was digital. All Ressler, Liz, Samar, and Cooper could do, was be discreet and protect Angus' identity, so that Shaw and his own team couldn't fight back while Angus busily investigated every clue he could find. Beyond that, it was simply a matter of trying to distract and delay the technician Shaw had assigned to Aram's computer, and protect Mehri and Naveed from any further attempts at questioning. To that end, they were rotating; one person ambling around the war room, distracting Shaw's team, one person stationed at Mehri and Naveed's for protective detail, and one person on call, communicating with Angus and passing on any information as it came through. Slowly but surely, they built their quiet case against Shaw...

...But it still wasn't strong enough.

**_THURSDAY..._ **

Aram hadn't slept. Not Tuesday night, nor Wednesday night. The anxiety continued swirling through his brain as the minutes passed over at what felt like half-speed. It kept him awake, and as Aram grew more and more exhausted, so too did his worry cycle more and more wildly inside his head. He needed a distraction, anything to block out the worry and make him think about other things, but the worry was overbearing. It wouldn't let him focus. All attempts at trying to manage his anxiety practically on Tuesday, had gone flying out the window by now. Aram was going stir crazy in the remote cottage. He was stuck in the awful sensation of just not knowing what was going on beyond the property perimeter. For all he knew, the phone could ring or a friendly face could burst in at any second, telling him it was all over and he could go home, or he could be stuck there indefinitely. He had no idea how the case was progressing, or whether it was even close to over.  

He had no idea how Samar or Leila were doing, or when, or _if_ he would ever see them again.  

Physically, he was safe... But the not knowing anything at all for just over two days was _killing_ him.

Aram was beginning to spiral. He was so overtired, every unreasonable thought seemed completely fair. He was beginning to imagine being stuck in that tiny house forever, with Dembe only stopping by every week or so to drop off groceries. Aram was starting to imagine a future where he would never be able to hold Samar close or see her wrapped in his t-shirts ever again... A future where he would never stand proudly by her side, watching as Leila grew and reached every new milestone, like teaching her to read, watching her eyes widen in wonder after her first visit from the tooth fairy, or even the mix of nerves and excitement at her first day of school. Aram tried desperately to recall the last thing he had said to either of them, the last time he had put on his silly Mr Spikes voice for Leila, and the last time he had brushed that forever uncooperative strand of loose hair back off Samar's face before kissing her.  

All he could do was wait for that undefined point in time where he might be free... Or at least until he passed out from exhaustion and the cycle in his brain started all over again.

/*/*/*/*

**_THURSDAY NIGHT..._ **

Playing the waiting game wasn't just frustrating for Aram, but for Samar too. Unlike Aram, she'd had tasks to at least partly occupy her brain; talking to Angus, taking care of Leila, relaying everything back and forth to Mehri and Naveed too... But the fear was never far from her mind. Cooper had sent them all home after yet another day struggling against Shaw and his mind games, but it did little to help. Once dinner and the washing up was done, and Leila was bathed and sent to bed, Samar was alone in their living room. The constant determination to keep strong, focused and defiant in front of Shaw had her at her wits end... And now she sat alone on the couch, in the semi-darkness, wrapped in Aram's shirt and the blanket from the back of the couch, struggling not to break. So many traumas had been and gone, each trying their hardest to break her forever, only to come close but never succeed in their entirety. This time however, it was different. It wasn't the pain of something happening directly to her, it was the pain of seeing it happen to someone she loved, and the pain of knowing there was next to nothing she could do to stop it. So many times, Samar had resisted allowing herself to grow close to people, out of sheer awareness that such a thing could happen. Levi had been one exception to the rule that had pushed her from allowing any other exceptions after everything that had happened with little Shahin... Until Aram became the next exception. Samar had been so used to being alone, and not having to worry about other people, and now the exact opposite was true. She had allowed herself to grow so close, it was almost impossible to imagine a life without him now.  

But now the risk of such a scenario was staring her straight in the face.

Samar was curled up, wedged right in the corner of their couch... Her lip trembled. There was nobody around to potentially see it that she could use as reasoning to force herself to stop either. She wanted Aram back, she wanted Shaw gone, and the whole case to be one horrible nightmare that she could just open her eyes and awaken from in an instant. She had lost so many people before... If she lost Aram now, Samar was seriously worried that it might just be the last straw that broke her.  

Bandit jumped suddenly up onto the couch, jolting Samar from her thinking as the ginger furball nuzzled his face into her hand, wanting her attention. Absent-mindedly, she scratched the top of his head between his ears. All evening, he had driven her crazy, following her around the apartment, headbutting her ankles, or mewing miserably... And yet, Samar hadn't been able to stop herself from talking to him. It was an odd feeling, talking to a cat, especially when she had such a dislike for the creatures. But Bandit was Aram's cat, and having him close by, for some strange reason, brought some mild semblance of comfort.  
'I still don't like you, Bandit,' she half-heartedly muttered to him. A breath caught in her throat, realising that was the first time she had actually called Bandit by the name Aram had given him. Normally, Samar instead chose to call him everything but. 'Furball' was the most common term, that Aram already argued Bandit actually responded to as well as his name as a result. And yet, this time, Bandit's real name had just slipped out. Samar slowly breathed in and out, that realisation not doing anything at all to help stifle the tears that were already lingering threateningly in the corners of her eyes. Samar glared down at Bandit trying to nuzzle further into her knees, but mostly it was just an effort to try and stop herself from crying. 'I don't even know why I keep trying to talk to you,' she sniffled. Samar sank further into the couch; at this rate, she was going to end up sleeping there. It was already well past midnight, and still she had barely moved since curling into the corner after putting Leila to bed hours ago. Samar was exhausted, but she was also so miserable that she couldn't bring herself to move to the bedroom.  

One tear broke free from her eyelashes and splashed down onto her shirt, and then another... And then another. And all of a sudden, Samar couldn't stop them. She buried her face into the cushions piled on the armrest, trying desperately to make them stop, but she couldn't. That fear of losing Aram, of having to raise Leila on her own after all after everything they had been through... Was all too strong. The feeling of utter helplessness that washed over her, knowing that there was next to nothing she could do about it, made it even worse. Samar sobbed into the cushion, angry at herself for allowing it to get this far. She took a sharp breath, trying to calm herself... But all the sudden intake of breath did, was startle the pile of orange fur trying to nestle further into her chest. Bandit jumped in alarm, off Samar's knees, off the couch, and then scurried into the darkness of some corner of the living room that Samar couldn't see. She glanced up, startled for just one second long enough that she managed to catch her breath. She sighed, staring miserably into the darkness... It felt like now, even the cat –and the cat she didn't like, for that matter- was abandoning her too. Shoulders slumped in utter defeat, Samar pulled herself up off the couch and trudged miserably to the bedroom.  

She clambered into the bed, feeling all the more upset at how awful it felt for Aram's side of the bed to be empty. She was so used to the two of them filling its space, that she felt oddly small wrapped in the mountain of bedcovers alone. Samar rolled onto her side, turning her back to the other side of the bed. That way at least, she could try to pretend he was there.  

A sudden mew made her eyes that were slowly falling shut, snap wide open again. Bandit sat on the floor by her side of the bed, staring up at her. His blue eyes shone like a pair of miniature beacons in the darkness, flickering only as he blinked... But still, they didn't move. They were trained on staring up at her.   
'What do you want _now,_ Bandit?' Samar grumbled at him. Another mew was all that came in response. Samar didn't know what to say next; normally, Bandit didn't enter the bedrooms at all, instead choosing to sleep either up high on the top of the backrest of the couch, or on a pillow tucked all the way at the back of the cave that was the space underneath Aram's living room desk. And yet, there he was. Bandit mewed again, and Samar gave a frustrated sigh. She rolled her head, burying her face deeper into her pillow. _After the struggle to even bring herself to go to bed, now the damn cat wasn't even going to let her sleep?_ 'Do you want to jump up on the bed, is that it?' She finally asked, in sheer exasperation. The two blue beacons flickered again.  Samar sighed and shook her head. She couldn't believe it had come to that. She knew Leila had already realised Aram wasn't there; the constant searching around the living room and grizzling was more than heartbreakingly obvious enough... But evidently, so too had the cat.  

Almost as if taking her question as his cue, Bandit jumped up, landing right beside her on the bed. He butted his head against her belly, turning on the spot a few times in the slightly wider space in front of her middle -made by the fact that she was curled on her side- and then settled down into it. Bandit nuzzled into her, burying his face into Samar's belly and squirming until she reached over with one hand and began to gently stroke his fur. Finally, the cat went still, the sound of his soft purring then the only thing to fill the air. Samar stared at him through the darkness for a little longer, a few more tears rolling down her cheeks and splashing softly against her pillow, before she too, fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, 'Undoing'.


	78. Undoing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Friday, November 10, 2017
> 
> Oookey dokey, slightly early update here, so that I can do a bonus mid-week one this week and still have them kind of spaced out.
> 
> Enjoy!

**_FRIDAY MORNING..._ **

The shrill sound of Samar's phone suddenly ringing, made Leila begin to grizzle. She was sleepy still, having just awoken after falling asleep in the car during the drive to Mehri and Naveed's. She and Samar hadn't been there long; Mehri and Naveed had called Samar early, asking her to stop in on the way to work, and so there they were. Samar wasn't entirely sure whether they wanted her there for some kind of insight as to how the case was going, whether they felt the need to comfort her because Aram was missing, or some combination thereof. Either way, they were quiet, clearly still miserable due to what was going on, and on edge after the incident with Shaw in the interrogation room. Even though it was difficult for any of them to find the right words to say to one another, just sticking together quietly and sharing a quick, early morning coffee was reassuring to all three.

Samar glanced quickly down at her phone.

'Nick's Pizza' flashed brightly on the screen.

'Reddington?' Samar curiously answered the phone, as Mehri took Leila from her and bounced her gently, trying to settle the grizzling.  
'Shaw knows you're onto him-' Reddington began. Samar's eyes widened, and she turned away from the kitchen counter –where Mehri and Naveed couldn't see the look that crossed her face in response to whatever Reddington was about to tell her.   
'-What-' she interjected, but Reddington cut her off.   
'-He's been digging into your taskforce just as you've been digging into him,' he said quickly. This, Samar knew. It had been a race against an invisible clock; her, the taskforce and Angus digging into everything they could find on Shaw, while Shaw dug into everything he could find on each of them, hoping that whatever he could find on the Post Office's mysterious operations would further his case against Aram. The entire case came down to the sheer balancing act of information. 'He knows,' Reddington spoke again. That sense of urgency had returned to his voice, and a sinking feeling very quickly made a pit for itself in Samar's stomach. 'And if my sources are accurate, he's figured out my connection to the Post Office, and where my closest properties are. Shaw has endless resources in his network of corrupt agents that all owe him favours, he'll be sending a team to where Aram's hiding, and it certainly won't be the legal kind.'  
'I have to call the taskforce-' Samar blurted out, thinking aloud. She had to call Cooper, Ressler, Liz, and a SWAT team. The procedure raced through her brain. They needed the whole fleet of armoured vehicles, all their breach gear including the kevlar vests, and the comms. They needed everything to make sure that a breach and evacuation plan could be pulled off wherever Aram was hiding, without a hitch.   
'-You don't have time,' Reddington cut her off yet again. 'Go, now. I'll have Dembe send through the address. Agents Keen and Ressler will be right behind you.'

Samar turned slowly back on the spot, a breath caught in her throat and her eyes wandering deep in anxious thought.

'Uh,' she began, finally meeting Mehri and Naveed's matching gazes. They bore identical expressions of tentative calm, silently and hopefully questioning the one half of the phone conversation that they had been able to hear. Samar didn't know what to say; she had no time to explain. She barely had time to say goodbye and leave politely.  
'Go,' Naveed said softly, offering a short, encouraging nod.   
'We can watch Leila,' added Mehri. Somehow, they understood. Samar blinked, the idea that she didn't even have to stop in at the Post Office to drop Leila off at the child care centre, suddenly registering in her brain. She could leave Leila right there, with Mehri and Naveed. They could look after Leila, while she raced against the clock to Aram... Alone.   
'Right.' Samar nodded, her gaze falling once again to the floor that she and Aram had only just tumbled over while sliding two months earlier. Already, contingency plan after contingency plan was forming in her head, different ways that she could fight a whole team with only the few weapons she had on her person already, all the while trying to keep Aram out of the line of fire. In those two seconds of rapid internal planning, it didn't feel like two months had already passed since the floorboard sliding. Her gaze snapped up again, meeting Mehri's eye for another split second of acknowledgement, before grasping for her phone and bag on the counter, leaning sideways to dot a quick kiss to Leila's cheek where she was still held happily in Mehri's arms, and then race towards the door.  

Mehri and Naveed followed her to the door, Mehri reaching gently for her arm to stop her just before she darted through the doorway.

'Samar?' Mehri's quiet voice broke into the thoughts that had Samar's mind hundreds of miles away. Samar paused, glancing curiously back at Mehri's pleading eyes; 'please,' Mehri spoke again, her voice cracking slightly, 'just bring Aram home.'

The alternate was far too painful, even just to imagine... But still, Samar couldn't make that promise, just in case. She nodded wordlessly in response to Mehri's words, turned on her heels, and then hurried away.

/*/*/*/*

Anxious thoughts spiralled as Samar drove the quickest route she could think of to the address Dembe had texted to her phone when she ran down the stairs from Mehri and Naveed's door. Reddington's words to her circled between the anxious thoughts; it wasn't hard to figure out what exactly would have been Shaw's undoing. He had broken into their system even further, finding the codenamed file they were using while investigating him, and he had realised that they really were onto him... With far more evidence than he had thought they would find.

Angus' investigating had set off alarm bells... And Shaw had panicked.

Shaw had organised, paid, and sent off his hit squad too quickly in response, and without the usual careful planning and proper covering of his tracks that until this point, had stopped anyone else from being able to pinpoint him for his crimes. On one hand, that lack of organisation was all they needed to finally bring Shaw down; they could prove he sent the hit squad, which was far from legal, and use that to create reasonable doubt in regards to Aram's guilt. Proving everything else after that would be so much easier, and would just come with time.

But time was the problem. Time was what they didn't necessarily have to reach Aram before Shaw's team did.  

Samar's car turned off the road, and onto the winding dirt track that led across Red's property towards the rose vine-covered cottage.  

The keys barely switched off the ignition before Samar had tugged off her seatbelt, shoved open the door, and leapt from the car, racing with her weapon drawn towards the house. She crept ever closer, around the side of the cottage and towards the back, kitchen door as Dembe had instructed. Samar paused, deeply inhaling and exhaling as the fingers of her left hand curled slowly around the door handle. The fingers of her right still remained tightly wrapped around the main weapon from her hip holster. She swung open the door, with such force that it very nearly flew off its paint-encrusted hinges. Samar charged inside the cottage, clearing each of the few rooms one by one. Her heart was racing, she stopped in the middle of the tiny living room, just by the coffee table, searching every corner of the room for Aram...

...But there was nobody there. Not any of Shaw's team, and not Aram either.

A breath caught in Samar's throat. For a moment she wondered if Shaw's team had been even quicker than Reddington had anticipated, arriving, taking Aram away, and then disappearing again all before she got there.  

...And then a high-pitched, creaking noise made her jump.  

'Samar?' Aram's shaky voice whispered from behind her. Samar spun around wildly on the spot, coming to a sudden stop the second she saw him, peeping his head out from behind a bookshelf. Movie clichés clearly one of Reddington's favourite ways to hide unsuspected and in plain sight, it seemed the bookshelf doubled as a door to an even tinier panic room.  
' _Aram_ ,' she gasped. Samar's weapon fell to her side. She stared at him in utter amazement and relief for a second, and then she lunged forwards, taking his hand in hers and trying to quickly pull him along. A warmer greeting would have to wait; for now, they had to run.    
'What's going on?' He fearfully began, following Samar across the room as she tugged on his hand. 'Mr Reddington said not to leav-'  
'-Shaw's team is coming,' Samar answered his question before Aram could even finish it. 'We have to go.' An alarm sounded in the living room, and the ceiling light suddenly flashed dark. Samar hurriedly glanced around the space in confusion, but Aram froze. His face crumpled. He knew what the sound and that darkness meant, just as he had barely five minutes earlier. It was the alarm that sounded, triggered by anyone crossing the property's perimeter, heading towards the cottage. Nobody outside could hear it through the soundproofed walls, but it was the alarm that meant he had mere seconds to hide if a visit wasn't expected, and make the cottage seem empty when the intruders came bursting through the door. It was the very alarm that had caused him to hide when Samar's car had turned onto the dirt track, before he realised from the security camera feed inside the panic room that it was her who had arrived.  

It was the alarm that if Samar's statement rang true, meant Shaw's team had indeed arrived... And they would mostly likely see Samar's car parked outside any second.  

'I think it's a bit late for that.' Aram's voice cracked. There was a yell outside, one they both immediately recognised as Shaw's voice barking orders to his team.  
'Hide-' Samar hissed. Adrenaline was already kicking in, and the rush only increased as they heard the sound of steady footsteps thundering down the track towards the cottage.  
'-What-' Aram tried to interject, but Samar adamantly shook her head.   
'-Get back in there, and _hide,_ ' she ordered him again.    
'What about you?' Aram's anxious question caught Samar off guard; she held his gaze for a split second, considering the idea, but quickly shook it away. Samar drew her weapon again, wordlessly gritting her teeth, and Aram instantly understood. She wasn't going to hide... She was going to fight.   
'Don't worry about me,' she muttered, holding his gaze for one beat longer. Aram bit his lip, but gave a reluctant nod all the same. In a flash, he retreated behind the bookshelf door. It fell softly closed, and the living room went deathly silent once more.  

Seconds felt like hours. Samar breathed in, and out, slowly but surely, and over again. She took a few cautious steps over to the kitchen, strategically placing herself behind the cover of the counter island that allowed her to move around it in either direction, all the while providing a vantage point for her to aim at anyone charging through the door not knowing where she was.  

She lifted her weapon, taking careful aim towards the door... And waited.

Shaw's team burst through the door, finally kicking it down off its hinges this time. They came through one by one, three men as heavily armed as they were heavily built, and with Shaw bringing up the rear. Four of them, in total. Shots rang out the second the first of them came through; Samar's first, then the first gunman's as he turned in response. Samar's first shot hit him in the shoulder, missing the chest as he turned. It caught him off guard, firing back with a shot that missed her wildly all together, and forcing him to veer sideways as his blood splattered against the wall behind him.  

Samar made no apologies for the mess about to be made that Mr Kaplan would undoubtedly have to clean up later.  

She had no such surprise advantage over Shaw and the other two gunmen. As soon as the first slammed sideways, her position was glaringly obvious. Samar fired off three more shots in quick succession; one finally taking down the first gunman, the next striking the third gunman in the upper thigh, and the last one only narrowly missing Shaw himself. She ducked around the counter island as they all fired back. Screaming bullets whipped through the air, tearing shreds in the walls, and all the furniture. Splinters of wood flew back and forth through the air as firing continued; Samar gasped in pain as one embedded itself into her left forearm but still, she kept firing. In a single, fluid motion, she clicked the magazine out of her weapon, her other hand having already pulled the next one from her belt. No sooner had the first begun its fall to the floor, the new one slammed straight into her gun. Another shot hit its target, the third gunman collapsing to the cream carpet the second Samar's bullet struck his chest.  

Two down, two to go.

One of Shaw's bullets narrowly missed her, grazing Samar's leg and tearing the side of her jeans instead. She ducked sideways in an attempt to edge around the counter island, towards the living room... But Shaw and the second gunman knew exactly what she was doing. In perfect synchronisation they stepped in opposite directions, ready to cut off the paths either side of the kitchen.

She was cornered.

A breath caught in Samar's throat... And she reacted quicker than even she could blink.

Still firing in alternate directions with her dominant hand, she dropped her left. She reached around to her back, where her backup still sat neatly tucked in the second holster on her belt. Within a nanosecond, her fingers curled tightly around the handle, pulling it from the holster, and throwing her arm sideways. Two guns; one pointed at each enemy. Samar didn't even hesitate; she fired with both hands, simultaneously striking the second gunman, and once again narrowly missing Shaw, all as she ducked his next shot.

It didn't even occur to Samar that the grazes on both her arm and leg were bleeding.  

Finally, it was one on one.

Shaw was wily, Samar had to give him that. He had an uncanny ability to predict where bullets would land, and move accordingly. Either way, one path was now clear, and Samar stepped steadily backwards as he tried to follow her around the counter island... Not taking her eyes off him for a moment as she moved into the wider space of the living room, and Shaw tried to take cover behind the counter. Both kept firing and ducking. Samar's heart was pounding in her chest, doing the math in her head with each shot, calculating just how many bullets she had left, and growing more and more frustrated with how Shaw seemed to avoid each one.  

She had three left in one weapon, two in the other. Samar narrowed her eyes, focusing her gaze.

Ever so slightly she turned her hands, maybe twenty degrees inwards at the most. One rose a little higher than the other... And with the distance between the two of them, the synchronised shots criss-crossed in the air, aiming just either side of Shaw. No matter to which side he moved, or if he moved beyond breathing at all, one of them had to hit one of his sides.

Samar couldn't help a breath of relief escaping as the lower one impacted into Shaw's right side. That manoeuvre took her down to only three bullets left, but its success would slow Shaw down. She had three shots left to take him down for good.  

Carefully aiming her main weapon, Samar fired... Once, twice more.

The first struck his knee, pulling him down... The second, aimed ever so slightly higher, missed as a result. She ducked behind the couch as he fired wildly back, wondering how on earth she was supposed to fire around the couch, around the counter, to where he was crouched on the floor... With one bullet left.

'FREEZE,' yelled a painfully familiar voice, 'FBI.' Ressler, Liz, and the SWAT team, all fired as they burst through the door. Samar ducked, covering her head behind the couch, gasping yet again in pain at the impact as the crowd slammed into the couch, accidentally shoving it against her.  

And then, all of a sudden, it all went quiet. Samar peered up from behind the couch; Shaw, still on the ground, had dropped his weapon to the floor, raising his hands in surrender. Blood poured from the earlier impact to his side, but Ressler and Liz each pointed their own weapons at him all the same. Ressler holstered his while Liz stood guard, then grabbed Shaw by the arms and jerked him upright.

'Jack Shaw,' Ressler spat at him, slapping on the handcuffs and locking them tight, 'you're under arrest.' He continued his spiel, rattling off every charge Shaw had committed –or at least, those Ressler knew of- and so on. Finally, Liz holstered her own weapon, watching Ressler and two of the SWAT team dragging Shaw away, then she turned. They shared a relieved glance, Samar catching Liz's eyes scanning across the room, searching for her. A second later, and Liz had darted across the room to her, instantly concerned by the wounds on her arm and leg.

'Nice timing,' Samar murmured, forcing herself to try and breath normally again. Liz didn't look up, or even respond. Instead, she was busily tugging at the tear in the side of Samar's jeans, inspecting the graze on her thigh, and shaking her head. 'Liz, I'm fine,' Samar added softly. Still Liz ignored her or rather, _dismissed_ the words as Samar's standard, irrational insistence against medical attention for herself. Apparently satisfied that the leg graze wasn't an immediate worry, Liz moved onto grasping Samar's left wrist and inspecting the splinter graze on her forearm.    
'That one might need stitches-' Liz began to mutter, but the second she let go of Samar's wrist, Samar turned towards the bookshelf '- _what_ are you doing now?' Samar stared intently at the bookshelf, her eyes scanning over each and every title on the shelf, trying to figure out where exactly she would find a camera, or a hidden lever, or anything really, to signal or reach Aram.   
'Aram,' Samar said simply, gesturing at the bookshelf. Liz furrowed her brow in confusion, but as if on cue, the bookshelf door softly swung open. Cautiously, Aram stepped out of the tiny panic room, back into the living room. His gaze panned across, staring in disbelief at the blood splatters, dead hitmen, chipped walls and shredded furniture, that he had only been able to watch unfold on the security camera with one eye uncovered. In all of five minutes, the entire room that was _pristine_ when he entered the panic room, had been completely destroyed... But that was hardly his focus for the moment.  

'Samar, you're _bleeding_ ,' Aram gasped, as the splatter on her arm and the side of her leg caught his eye. He darted straight towards her, both of them wrapping their arms around each other and then freezing there. Aram buried his face in her hair, closing his eyes as a whole rush of different emotions waved through him. He didn't want to let go.  
'I'm fine,' came Samar's muffled voice from where she had buried her own face against his shoulder, 'it's not as bad as it looks.' Liz averted her gaze, leaving them to their moment. It wasn't until Ressler returned from handing Shaw over to other agents who would take him, under guard, to have his own wounds treated, and awkwardly cleared his throat, that Samar reluctantly pulled away.   
'Samar, you do need to get those looked at,' he commented, gesturing at her grazes. Ressler shifted his gaze, offering a small smile, 'and Aram, you need to be debriefed.'

Samar let out a sigh; she was exhausted –they both were, really- but there was still so much to be done. Though, she allowed herself the tiniest of weary smiles, as she tangled her fingers through Aram's, and gave them a reassuring squeeze.  

Now, Aram could go home.

/*/*/*/*

**_FRIDAY EVENING..._ **

Contrary to Liz's concerns, neither of Samar's scrapes turned out to require stitches. Once they were cleaned –Samar tried not to wince at the sting of the disinfectant- and sufficiently covered, the paramedics on scene cleared her to go home. They stopped in at the Post Office first, Aram growing quieter and quieter by the minute in the drive over to his mandatory debriefing, but once the thorough, seemingly endless questions for the report were over Aram too, was allowed to go home. Samar called Mehri and Naveed, and then Angus while she waited for him to return from Cooper's office, to let them know the good news; Shaw had been arrested, and Aram –thanks to Angus' efforts- had the charges against him dropped.

It should have been cause for celebration, but as Samar drove herself and Aram home, he continued to grow quieter, and even more withdrawn.

Samar unlocked the front door to their apartment and led him inside, chalking up his quiet to the exhaustion after days without sleep, and the fact that the adrenaline from watching the gunfight had worn off, only to be replaced with shock.   
' _Aram,_ ' Mehri gasped, the second she saw him stroll into the living room. She and Naveed had thought it better to watch Leila at home, rather than their own new apartment, hoping that the familiar setting would ease her on and off grizzling and make her more comfortable. And so, they had let themselves in with the spare key Aram had given them months ago for exactly such a scenario. Mehri leapt from the chair at the dining table she had been sitting on moments earlier, and rushed forwards, arms outstretched. She threw them eagerly around Aram, Naveed hovering just behind her, and hugged him tight. Aram draped one loose arm around her shoulders, but otherwise didn't really respond. Instead, his eyes were glazed over, staring miserably into space somewhere in the middle of the room. Samar quietly slipped into the living room behind them, having been delayed by just the minute it took to poke her head into Leila's room as she passed on the way from the front door. She eyed Aram with a wary frown for a second, before meeting Naveed's gaze. He too, seemed uneasy as he watched his son's blank expression.  

'Maybe we should let you rest,' Mehri murmured, looking Aram up and down with her brow furrowed in concern. She slowly disentangled herself from him, and turned reluctantly to face Samar instead. 'Leila's asleep in her crib,' she added quietly, trying to sound reassuring. Samar gave a small, grateful nod, her own attempt at reassuring Mehri in response. Mehri instantly turned back to Aram once more, resting her palm softly against his cheek. 'Oh Aram, honey. I'm so glad you're ok,' she sighed again. Tears of overwhelming relief hovered in the corners of her eyes, daring to escape. She and Naveed had worried from the second Aram had told them years earlier that he was taking his skills and taking a job with law enforcement. It didn't matter that he had constantly tried to reassure them that he was working as a technician and not a field agent, they had worried all the same that one day Aram's job would lead him into something dangerous... And it had, multiple times over already in fact, with all the times the Post Office had been breached. But this was an entirely new level. This was the sort of situation that had always been Mehri and Naveed's parental nightmare, and the feeling of relief that it was finally all over made it a struggle for Mehri in particular to try and maintain some sense of composure.  

Naveed silently reached for her purse where it still sat on the table, then returned to her side, resting one arm around her back. Mehri offered Aram one more tiny smile, and Naveed gently clapped him on the shoulder as he passed –being just as relieved as Mehri was to see Aram safe again, but never one to express such emotions in words- then the two of them bowed their heads and headed for the door. Samar followed them slowly...

...And Aram remained standing miserably, almost statuesque, in the middle of the living room.

Mehri lingered in the front doorway, staring longingly down the hallway towards the living room. Her brow furrowed and she bit her lip, concerned and hesitant to leave. It was the difficulty of leaving Aram there, when her natural instinct was to take care of him, as she always had when he was the young child who fell off his bike and scraped his knee, or came home from school upset because the class bully had tried to shove him into a locker. It was the difficulty of knowing that the task of looking after him was no longer just hers, that Aram was a grown adult and had a perfectly adult partner to look after him following his unfortunately far too adult trauma. It was the difficulty of leaving her son in the hands of someone else now, no matter the fact that she knew Samar was more than capable.  

'If you need anything,' Mehri spoke up quietly, her voice cracking and forcing her to trail off for a second, 'either of you...' She stared up at Samar, anxiously pleading; 'you'll call, won't you?' Samar gave another nod; she too was worried, and couldn't even begin to imagine the anxious thoughts that must have been spiralling in Mehri's head. Naveed's hand came to rest on her shoulder, and Samar glanced over; there it was, the same expression he had given her after breaking Shaw's nose in the interrogation room –albeit, a softer version, tainted only by concern of his own.   
'Thank you for bringing him home,' he added, just as quietly. Naveed gave an earnest nod of his own, all the same, holding Samar's gaze for just one second longer, before he and Mehri turned, and stepped wordlessly out of the apartment.

Samar took a deep breath, watching them leave before gently closing the front door.  

Aram still stood, shoulders slumped miserably, in the middle of the living room when she returned.

'They're right,' she murmured softly to him, tilting her head as she continued to study his blank expression, 'you need to rest.' She reached forwards ever so slightly, tangling her fingers through his, and squeezing gently. The dark circles of exhaustion around his eyes were double layered, and his cheeks even seemed gaunt; clear signs that he had barely slept at all since Shaw's entire set up began... But hopefully, catching up on sleep, and allowing time to take care of the shock, would be all he needed to start feeling better. 'Come on, let's go to bed.' Samar turned, gently tugging on his hand rather than letting go, and began the short walk towards the bedroom. Aram followed without a word, allowing her to lead him along, but without any kind of visible enthusiasm. In exactly the same fashion, he changed into his pajamas, brushed his teeth, and climbed into bed. It was as if his mind was on a completely different planet, still circling over all the same thoughts that had haunted him back at the cottage. Samar rolled onto her side, curling up and tucking herself close by his side. She rested her head against his shoulder, trying to take some comfort in the fact that finally, there he was; home, taking up his side of the bed again, exactly as he was supposed to. Slowly but surely, the tiredness of the long day won out over her own concerns, and Samar's eyes fell softly closed.

Her breathing slowed, the deeper she sank into slumber.

Aram's, notably, did not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, the aftermath that turns Saram on its head (though only temporarily) in 'Realisations'.


	79. Realisations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Friday-Saturday, November 17-18, 2017.
> 
> So I know I technically didn't start posting this story here on ao3 until March 15th, 2016... But the date stamp on my notes tells me I started writing it on February 6th. That means I am an entire YEAR into this insanity. I never thought it would get this far, but here we are nonetheless. Huge shoutouts to anyone actually still reading at this point (and yes, I see the hit count change with every chapter, I know there are a couple of you, so here's to you guys). I'm pretty sure if it wasn't for all you awesome folks, I would have lost inspiration for this a long time ago. But somehow we made it a year. Happy story-versary???
> 
> On that note, I confirm we are on the road to the end now. Sort of. This is chapter 79. I've written all the way through until 83, done half of 84, finished 85, then skipped forwards a bit to do half of 87 and then all of 93(ish) because I'm really excited for that one. 93 is a big one (assuming it stays numbered at 93, but that particular chapter titled 'Juxtaposition' is a big one). If I continue on at this pace of 2-3 chapters per timeline month, we should end somewhere in the window of 110-120, unless anything else totally insane happens, and I'm trying to keep it to the lower end of that if I can. That sounds like ages away, but seeing as we're now at 79, hopefully it'll go very quickly!
> 
> Anyway, you're not here for my rambling, as whacky as it may be on occasion.
> 
> Enjoy!

**_FRIDAY MORNING..._ **

One week on from the forced removal of Shaw's team from the Post Office, the war room was quiet. Aram in particular, was even more quiet. The distant, pensive expressions, and the miserable silence... The shock that they had all hoped would wear off with time and sleep had passed, but Aram was still sinking deep into whatever anxious thoughts continued to spiral inside his head. He insisted on going into the Post Office with Samar each morning; his adamant argument that he needed the distraction was the only moment he was truly vocal. Every other moment he spent deep in thought, and resisting all attempts by everyone else to cheer him up.  

For the moment he sat at his desk, tapping away at his keyboard with particular fervour, as he had done every day since returning to it on Monday. He was going through his entire network, upgrading his computer security even further beyond the already exceptionally thorough protocols he'd had in place before Shaw's team breached them... And he was refusing to stop until he was completely satisfied that his computer wasn't ever going to put any of them in danger again. Samar sat at her own desk, equally quiet, and staring at the report in front of her without really taking in the words. She was on edge; every attempt she had made to reach out to Aram, to comfort him or to cheer him up, had resulted in him uncharacteristically shutting down and pulling away. Samar was growing more and more concerned by the day; it wasn't just her that he was pulling away from. Mehri's daily phone calls to check on him ever since returning home had gone unanswered, with Aram leaving his phone on the desk or the kitchen counter until it either rang out, or until Samar opted to pick it up instead. He was pulling away from all of them, but in living with him, Samar was the one bearing the brunt of his angry silence. All she wanted was to figure out what exactly was going on in Aram's head and try to reassure him, but every attempt was backfiring. It left an unsettled feeling in Samar's gut; it felt even worse to ignore him and leave him to figure out whatever was bothering him for himself, but by this point she had no idea what else to say.  

She had her back to him for the moment, listening carefully to the keyboard tapping behind her. The stops and starts, the short bursts of rapid typing, the drawn out minutes of slower typing as Aram puzzled over it all, and the ever changing volume as he hit the keys either softly or hard, was the best indicator Samar had of his up and down mood.  

Her gaze shifted momentarily sideways as the rumbling open of the elevator doors revealed Liz and Sammy's arrival. The worry only sunk further in Samar's gut as Liz approached, an oddly dejected look growing ever clearer as she trudged closer. Out of the corner of Samar's eye now that she had half turned in her seat, she made a mental note of Aram pausing in his typing and glancing over at Liz too, frowning in concern. It only lasted a moment, before he shook his head and returned his focus to taking out his frustrations on his keyboard, but still Samar filed the expression away in the back of her mind; it was one sign at least, that his usual, caring self was still buried deep inside _somewhere_.  

Liz offered Samar a half-hearted smile in passing, while on the way to dropping her bag off in her office. Brow furrowed curiously, Samar made the snap decision to follow, slipping quietly into the office behind her.  
'You alright?' Samar asked cautiously, standing just within the doorway.   
'Huh?' Liz responded instinctively before the question really sunk in. She turned on the spot as she set her bag down beside her desk, her mind finally returning to the present from its wanderings elsewhere. 'Oh, yeah,' she sighed, shooting Samar another half-smile, 'it's just that house.' Samar raised a wry eyebrow; there was a beautiful townhouse not far from where Liz lived currently, and it had been on the market for some time. Liz had been eyeing it off ever since she saw the 'For Sale' sign go up out the front; it was the perfect house for her, not too big and not too small, not too fancy and not too run down either. It had the extra bedroom Liz wanted, plenty of space for Sammy to play, plus a small garden out the back. The only problem was that for some reason, it was a little on the pricey side... And that was precisely why it hadn't sold as quickly as it should have.   
'Still trying to justify buying it?' Samar mused. Liz had been trying to justify to herself the idea of buying the house from the first moment she saw it, only to sigh and try to let it go instead. Being approved as a foster parent had served to push her back towards the idea of the house yet again, but it wasn't until Sofia had come and gone that Liz felt ready to consider it seriously. But now, it was too late.  
'No,' Liz sighed again, 'it's sold. I saw the 'Sold' sticker go over the sign this morning.' Liz shook her head bitterly, annoyed at herself. 'I should have just bought it when I first fell in love with it three months ago.'  
'I'm sorry,' Samar murmured. Her face contorted in sympathy, but Liz gritted her teeth and tried to shake off her frustrations instead.  
'It's not the only house in the city,' she muttered, 'I'm sure there's another one that's not so different.' Regardless, she shot Samar another small smile –albeit genuine, and grateful this time.  

Her gaze darted over Samar's shoulder, as another figure appeared just behind her in the doorway, his shadow appearing on the door before Reddington came into view himself.  

Samar turned just as she took a step closer to Liz in the office, glancing at Reddington in surprise. Neither of them had been expecting his arrival at the Post Office that morning.  
'Good morning, Elizabeth,' Reddington began, flipping his fedora over in his hands as he greeted her. He shifted his gaze to Samar, giving a small smile and nod of acknowledgement; 'Samar.'  
'What new criminal are you sending us after this time?' Liz raised one eyebrow, almost in annoyance at the sudden intrusion.  
'Actually,' Red began, ignoring her tone. His lip quirked up, pleased with himself instead. 'I have something for you.' From the inside of his jacket pocket, Reddington pulled out a thick envelope, handing it to Liz. Liz took it from him, warily opening the envelope and scanning over the pages within. Her eyes went wide as she quickly realised what it was.

It was the sale contract for the very same townhouse.  

' _You_ bought the house?' Liz glanced up from the pages, staring back at Reddington in utter disbelief. The frustration began to bubble up inside once more; she had been so close to taking that step and making an offer on the house herself, only for Reddington to pull it out from under her feet before she could.   
'I did, yes.' Reddington gave a short nod that matched his matter of fact tone. 'It wasn't hard to notice you were watching it. Consider it an investment in your family's future.'  
'I don't need you to buy me a house,' Liz burst out, her voice rising slightly. 'I don't _want_ you to buy me a house.'  
'Elizabeth, this house is perfect for you, for Sammy, for the child you want to adopt,' Reddington tried to reason with her. 'There's a yard at the back for them and even Hudson to run around in.' Liz gritted her teeth again.  
'I know there is,' she continued to argue, 'but that's not the point. I want to be able to do these things for myself, like a _normal_ person who _doesn't_ have the world's wealthiest master criminal funding her lifestyle.'  
'That house was out of your budget,' Reddington observed, quietly, but to the point.   
'No it _wasn't_ ,' Liz protested, scowling at him in response.  

Silence fell between them for a moment. Samar glanced cautiously back and forth, feeling somewhat caught in the middle. In all honesty she could see both sides of what was happening; Reddington had noticed Liz wistfully eyeing the house for months and passing it up each time, and knowing it was just ever so slightly out of her budget, he had bought it for her so she wouldn't miss out on the house she so clearly loved. But Liz, on the other hand, had always been determined to maintain some degree of independence. She was happy to work with him, and to ask him for help when she needed it, but she didn't like it at all when Reddington stepped in, made assumptions about her wants and needs, and began to meddle or make such huge decisions for her without asking first. Too many things had happened where Liz hadn't been able to lead her life the way she wanted to; everything from her life being tipped upside down by Reddington's arrival and his bringing up all the mysteries of her past, the Cabal framing her for treason and sending her on a quest for freedom that had ended in being demoted from Agent status for a while until her record was expunged... To Sammy's surprise arrival and Tom's loss. Liz was desperate to have some degree of control back over her own life, and now that she knew for sure Tom was never going to come back and she was going to have to raise Sammy on her own, the ability to be independent and not _reliant_ on Reddington, was in Liz's mind, one of _the_ most important parts of that. Reddington meant well, but once again the execution of his intentions was in a manner that cut far too close to the boundary Liz held so dear.  

Even if Reddington had _asked_ her first if he could _contribute_ to the house rather than paying for it outright, it could have gone differently. Reddington could have made his offer of assistance like he wanted to, and Liz could have had the power over her own life like _she_ wanted. But, Reddington was never going to do that. They were both far too proud.

Samar averted her gaze; she could understand both of them, but in the end her loyalty in these kind of disputes was always going to lie with her friend.  

'Lizzie,' Reddington began again, pursing his lips and gazing back at Liz with his usual, calculating expression as he broke the silence. 'If you're that determined to give up a free home...' Reddington paused, uncharacteristically shaking his head at what he was about to offer; 'you can rent it from me instead.' It was the house Liz wanted so desperately now, and therefore Reddington wanted her to have it too. 'I wouldn't charge as much as the price the previous owner would have asked, but you'd still be paying your own way.'

Liz narrowed her eyes in suspicion for a moment, before shifting Sammy in her arms against her hip, and marching wordlessly out the door, brushing past Reddington where he stood blocking the doorway, so that she could take Sammy downstairs.  

Samar glanced back and forth between them both once more as Liz disappeared from view, then moved to follow. She paused, just in the doorway beside Reddington, giving him a distinctly unimpressed look.  

'You don't seriously want to make her _pay_ for that house, do you?' She muttered. Samar was trying to be discreet, muttering in passing, but her distaste for the idea was still clear.  
'Not at all.' Reddington murmured back, 'but it's the house she's been eyeing off for months, and if it makes her happy...' He trailed off for a second, catching her raised eyebrow. 'Relax, Agent Navabi, my dear-' the usual smirk began to tug at his cheeks once more '-none of Agent Keen's hard earned FBI salary will go towards my more illicit business dealings. It'll go straight into Sammy's college fund.' Surprise flickered across Samar's face at the sudden confirmation of Liz's long-held suspicions, but only for a moment.   
'So you _did_ set one up,' she commented.   
'Of course I did.' Reddington flipped his hands once more. 'But don't tell Elizabeth. My understanding seems to be that she prefers to pretend she doesn't know.'

/*/*/*/*

**_FRIDAY EVENING..._ **

Samar and Aram's apartment was just as quiet as the war room. Barely a word was spoken between them over dinner, though not for a lack of trying. It wasn't so much an angry silence, more a miserable one; with Aram still reflecting on the events of the previous week, and Samar at a total loss for what to say after his spending the time since pulling away from her. A cry from Leila's room broke the silence, prompting both of them to make a beeline towards her room from their positions around the apartment; Samar, in the kitchen making herself a cup of tea, and Aram at his desk, now working on his home computer. Aram reached the doorway to Leila's room first, just by two seconds. He froze as he saw her; standing up in her crib, clutching the side rail and staring back at him. Her cheeks were flushed pink and contorted miserably, the tears streaming down her face as she waited.

All Aram wanted to do was reach straight for her, pick her up, and hold her close... But he couldn't.  

All he could see as he stood there, looking at her, was everything that had flashed fearfully through his mind back at Reddington's cottage. Every future milestone Aram had thought he would miss, and now wouldn't... Leila was right there in front of him, but Aram couldn't shake those images from his brain of missing her first day of school, or anxiously sending her off to college. Physically, at the cottage, Aram had been safe, but mentally the combination of sheer exhaustion, waiting, not knowing, and all those fears, he had taken a hit.   
'Babaaa,' Leila miserably wailed, releasing the side rail with one hand and trying to reach out for him. She hadn't slept overly well since Aram had been away. She was sleeping a little better with each night since his return, but Leila was still picking up on their combined stress and didn't seem likely to return completely to her usual sleep patterns any time soon. The sound of her distress jolted Aram from his thoughts, making him jump on the spot. Samar brushed past him into the room, right at the same moment, having only been a few steps behind him. Immediately she reached out, lifting Leila from the crib and cuddling her close. Samar closed her eyes as she gently rubbed Leila's back, murmuring soothing words into her daughter's ear until the cries slowly eased off. Leila's tiny fingers curled into the neckline of her shirt as they always did and finally, as the room fell quiet once more, Samar glanced over her shoulder at Aram still standing there, staring at them helplessly. Samar was stunned, even shaken by the way he had frozen right in front of Leila when she was so distressed and calling out for him.   
'Aram-' she began softly, but the second she said his name, Aram turned on his heels and scurried out of the room and back to the living room.... Though not before the fear, shame, and instant realisation of what he had just done, flashed across his face in horror. Samar let out a miserable sigh of her own, dotted a gentle kiss to the top of Leila's head before setting her back in her crib, and then reluctantly returned to the living room herself.

Her phone was flashing where she had left it on the kitchen counter, when she returned.  

It was a message from Liz, still debating frustratedly with herself as to whether or not to accept the house Reddington had bought.  
' _I still can't decide_ ,' it read, ' _what do you think?_ ' Samar glanced back and forth between Liz's dilemma playing out on her phone, and Aram now back at his desk, intently focused on his computer in an effort to try and distract himself from his newly added guilty feeling. She shook her head and tapped away at the keyboard on her phone, opting to give Aram a few more minutes for the horror to pass.  
' _I'm not sure,_ ' she sent back. ' _But I guess it simply comes down to the question of how much did you love that townhouse? More or less than how badly you don't want Reddington trying to help?_ ' There was a pause where no new response from Liz to come through. Samar kept one eye on her phone, and one on Aram, while Liz was clearly thinking it over as she had been all day.   
' _New idea_...' The response finally came through. ' _What if instead of renting it from him, I buy it from him, at a price he thinks is within my budget? Do you think he'd go for that?'_   The tiniest ghost of a smile crossed Samar's face as she read it. It wasn't a bad idea at all; Reddington could help like he wanted, by having snagged the house for her, and then ensuring she could buy it at the price he felt was better, and Liz could still buy it for herself.  
' _Not at all_ ,' Samar typed back, trying to imagine the unimpressed look that would be on Red's face if Liz tried to buy the house from him. ' _But I'm sure you could wear him down and force him to relent, if you tried_.'

Samar set her phone back on the counter, satisfied with the conclusion to that particular dilemma. Next she turned on the spot, then wandered cautiously over to Aram's side where he sat at his desk.  

'Hey,' she said softly, resting a gentle hand on his shoulder. 'It's late. I'm going to bed now... You coming?' Aram didn't meet her gaze, but his fingertips did pause in their flying across his laptop keyboard.   
'In a minute,' he mumbled back. Samar leaned over his shoulder, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. No matter how difficult it was to talk to him, or how unbearable it was to watch him in that state, she needed him to know that she was still there for him. She lingered there for a moment, the side of her thumb making reassuring circles against his shoulder, before she quietly turned again and ambled away. She slipped off her robe as soon as she entered the bedroom, -her teeth were already brushed and her hair already pulled back in a loose pony tail so it didn't fall in her face while she slept- and clambered wearily into bed. She laid there, trying to take some comfort in the thick, warm bedcovers, but that did little to ease the unsettled feeling in her stomach. Finally, Aram slipped wordlessly into the room, and crawled into the bed beside her, still not meeting her eye. Samar glanced sideways at him, then rolled onto her side to face him and shuffled over closer.   
'You know you can talk to me, right?' She asked quietly, 'about anything.'  
'Samar, I'm fine,' he muttered back, a slight bitter edge to his voice. Aram didn't turn to face her, or wrap his arms around her at all like he normally would have. 'Goodnight.'

Samar rolled over onto her other side, turning her back to him. Her eyes stung with the sensation of tears welling up, but she tried desperately to blink them away rather than allow them to fall to her pillow. Behind her, Aram stared up at the ceiling, his eyes wide open and alert. Once again, it was going to take hours before he would fall asleep and in the meantime, those anxious thoughts from the cottage, now 'what ifs' cycled like a vicious mantra inside his head. Being in the panic room during Samar's firefight with Shaw's team had done little to help; Aram had stood inside that tiny, dark room, frozen in fear, listening to the sounds of the loud shots, and watching it unfold on the security feed. He had been stuck there, biting his fingernails and stressing over the fact that it was all so close to him and yet, so far away behind that reinforced door they didn't know was there. He had only been able to watch the security feed with one eye open, knowing that just a few feet away Samar was outnumbered and outgunned four to one and there was absolutely _nothing_ he could do about it. On one hand he couldn't look, but at the same time... He hadn't been able to look away. Somewhere twisted in his exhausted brain he had been convinced; if she was going to die in a firefight to try and save him, he owed it to her to be strong and to see what happened. Now, even though she was right there, and Leila was just one room away, the what ifs were just as painful. _What if Shaw had reached him before Samar did? What if the cottage's security system had failed? What if Samar had been killed in that firefight and he had been stuck in that tiny panic room, knowing that Shaw could find the lever to open the door at any moment and take him away, leaving Samar to have given her life for nothing? And if that was the case, what would have happened to Leila?_  

That was what had Aram so quiet and so miserable. And on top of that, he finally understood why Samar wasn't always so comfortable telling him about the worries that wracked her own brain after her own traumas. Aram was terrified that if he told her what he was thinking, she would be upset too. He didn't want to have to make it her job to reassure him, and he didn't want her to have to carry the weight of the fears inside his mind either. It was an awful enough weight on _him_ already. The longer he laid there, right beside her, the worse Aram felt. There was a waft of Samar's shampoo now, that floated through the air of the tiny space between them, filling Aram's nostrils with the scent of lavender.  

Lavender. That was the shampoo she used when she was stressed or upset, because the smell helped to relax her.

Aram knew that, and smelling it now only made him feel even more guilty. He knew pulling away from her and everyone else, shutting down, going silent, and resisting their desperate attempts to make him feel better, were only upsetting her more so. But in choosing not to tell her what was on his mind, and trying to battle those demons himself, it was impossible to let her in... When all he really wanted to do was wrap his arms around her again and never let go.

It was all too complicated a mess, and Aram felt like it had him falling apart.

/*/*/*/*

**_SATURDAY MORNING..._ **

Samar's eyes snapped open. Even without Aram's arms curled around her like they usually were in the morning, the bed felt colder than it should have been. She rolled on to the side that had her facing the centre of the bed, and then quickly sat up in alarm. The covers fell to her waist around her before she even had a chance to clutch them to her chin to stave off the cold of winter on the approach. She glanced around the room, searching...

...But Aram wasn't there... And neither was his pillow.  

Samar jumped out of bed, glancing for a moment into the bathroom anyway even though no light or sound came from within. She turned and darted down the hall and into Leila's room; Leila remained sound asleep in her crib, perfectly content with Mr Spikes tucked into her arm.  She turned again, moving onto the living room.

And there Aram was, sound asleep on the couch with his pillow and the blankets that normally lay strewn over the back.

At some point during the night after Samar was asleep, he had moved away from her.  

A breath caught in Samar's throat as she watched him. Tears sprung back into her eyes again, and her stomach churned. If her heart hadn't already felt like it was shattering over the last few days, it certainly did now.  

That was the last straw.  

Exhaling deeply in an effort to stem the rush of emotions threatening to take over, Samar turned once more and headed towards the kitchen to make some tea. It was the only thing she could think of to calm herself down while she waited for him to wake up. It didn't take long for her movements around the room –no matter how quiet Samar was _trying_ to be- to make Aram begin to stir. From where she had decided to sit down at his desk chair with her tea, strategically placed where she could see him wake up, but he wouldn't see her unless he sat up and turned around, Samar watched him. Aram's eyes slowly blinked open, and he yawned as he stretched his legs out across the couch.  

And that was Samar's cue. Desperate times supposedly called for desperate measures, and this was getting _beyond_ the point of desperation.  

Samar set her tea mug silently back down on the desk, rose from the chair, and then crept around the back of the couch. Before Aram in his still half asleep state could even register her presence, she pounced. Samar landed first on centre edge of the couch that was empty seeing as Aram was still half curled on his side, then she turned, swinging one leg over his knees. She had him pinned down, one of her knees either side of his hips, and each of her hands on one of his shoulders. He wasn't pinned down so hard that he couldn't push her off if he really tried, but certainly firmly enough to make her point.   
'Samar-' Aram gasped, staring up at her with his eyes now wide open, and his teeth gritted in utter irritation.   
'-Aram, I need to say something,' she cut him off, once again gently but to the point, 'and I need you just to listen.' She paused, and Aram continued to stare up at her leaning over him, in wordless frustration. Samar took the silence to mean assent, rather than protest. 'Do you remember after Maxwell, you told me I had to talk to you?' She continued, and Aram reluctantly gave her a short nod. 'You told me to talk, not to keep it all bottled up. I never understood why. I never understood how you could want to know the awful things that were in my head then, or how you could listen to them and somehow still manage to make me feel better, without feeling as awful and unsettled as I was. I never wanted to have to share what was in my head, I felt like it was only forcing you to carry that weight too, and I didn't want to do that to you.' Samar paused again, letting that sink in. The expression on Aram's face softened slightly at her impassioned declaration, her words hitting far too close to home. Samar studied his expression, relieved to see some semblance of recognition crossing his face. 'But I _do_ understand now,' she said, so quietly it was barely audible. She took a breath, steadying herself before she spoke again; 'I see you like this, and I _wish_ you would talk to me. Telling me what's in your head wouldn't be a weight on me at all. In fact, the worst weight is _not_ knowing where your head's at. I need you to talk to me, like you needed me to talk to you. Don't you remember? I want to be able to make you feel better, like you always do for me, but I _can't_ if you won't _talk_ to me.' Aram's face crumpled as he realised what she was saying; just as he had suddenly understood how she felt in previous situations where she was the one to go through hell, so too did she now understand how he had felt back then watching it happen. 'Do you understand what I'm telling you?' The pleading question nearly caught in Samar's throat. By this point she had released her grip on his shoulders, and Aram nodded weakly. He had been so engrossed in trying to shield her, that he had forgotten exactly how hard it had been to watch her try to do the exact same thing to him. But now, it made sense.  

There was a brief silence, as Aram processed that sudden overload of information. He tried to blink tears away from his eyes, but couldn't. Only sympathy remained etched across Samar's face as she waited, relieved that her message had finally gotten through.  

'I was so scared,' Aram whispered, the cracking of his voice breaking the silence.   
'I know,' Samar gently murmured back. She rested one hand softly against his cheek, trying to reassure him... And for once Aram didn't wince or try to pull away. Instead, he let her stay there.   
'I thought I was going to be trapped there forever,' Aram began to mumble, 'or that Shaw was going to find me at some point and lock me away in solitary confinement in some prison that doesn't officially exist, until they gave me a lethal injection. I thought I was never going to see you, or Leila, or my parents, or any of you again.' Samar knew exactly how that felt; the fear of losing everyone and dying alone was _far_ too familiar after the events of her career thus far. And though in this most recent case Aram was physically unscathed, the mental suffering that it had put him through was definitely just as bad.          
'You’re home now,' Samar softly reassured him, running her fingers through his hair and then down his cheek, 'and we're all here, or can be here with just one phone call.' She rolled slightly, wedging herself into the small gap between Aram and the back of the couch, laying on her side there with her head nuzzled against his shoulder and her arm wrapped across his chest.  
'I look at Leila now, and all I can think of is everything I thought I was going to miss. I can't get it out of my head,' Aram continued. Being able to let it out at last felt like the weight of the earth had been lifted from him so suddenly it was overwhelming. He turned his head on his pillow, facing Samar as well as he could from that angle, and he slowly rose one hand to grasp hers where it rested against his chest. 'How do you deal with that?'  
'Well, for me after Maxwell, I tried to focus on all the things I wasn't going to miss after all,' Samar murmured back, thinking back to the events of a year earlier. 'What did you imagine missing?'  
'Her first day of school.' Aram's voice cracked again, and Samar couldn't help but feel unsettled at the sudden idea of missing that day herself. Regardless, she steadied herself.   
'Ok, so,' she whispered, 'imagine her first day of school now, but you're there with her.' Samar paused, lifting her head from his shoulder just enough to make sure Aram closed his eyes. 'You can carry her into the classroom, and put her on her tiny chair. We can set up her tiny desk with all her things, together.' A tiny smile tugged at Aram's lips as he tried to visualise the scenario in his mind.   
'She won't want us to leave,' he laughed weakly, imagining the protests Leila would undoubtedly launch in a few years when they first tried to leave her at school.   
' _Us,_ ' Samar chuckled softly back, pressing a kiss to his cheek, 'exactly. It doesn't change the fact that you were scared, and it's never going to make you forget-' Samar rested her head back on his shoulder '-but that's important too. You can focus on the fact that you survived _despite_ that, and Shaw _didn't_ beat you. We beat _him_.'  
'I thought I was always the optimistic one,' Aram mused half-heartedly.  
'Yeah well,' Samar sighed, giving him a good-natured eyeroll, 'there's a role reversal happening. Trust me, I feel weird about it too.' A particularly sheepish smile crossed her face as she glanced up at him again. 'Do you want me to get off you now?'   
'Actually,' Aram breathed softly. His fingers clutched her that little bit tighter, and he shifted his other arm so it sat around her more comfortably. He shook his head before burying his face in her hair. 'Can you just stay here with me a bit longer?' Being able to hold her close again was even more of a relief than finally feeling free to talk to her, and as Aram allowed his eyes to fall softly closed again, he felt as if he never wanted that moment to end.   
'As long as you like,' Samar whispered back, closing her eyes too. She breathed slowly in and out, allowing the relief to wash over her. She had known that once she could get him talking, Aram would start to feel a little better. After all, Samar had experienced that herself before, too. The question simply was then, getting him to start talking when he kept shutting her down every time she tried. Pinning him down and forcing him to listen had been a moment of utter desperation... But it had worked.  

They stayed there together, the silence no longer miserable or awkward, but simply relieved and even happy to a certain degree, for what felt like an eternity until another sudden noise broke the silence.

Leila, awake and sleepily crying out for them.  

'The morning calls,' Samar murmured again, letting out a small yawn. She sat up finally, her hand still grasped in Aram's, before she glanced back at him with a soft smile. 'You coming?' Aram nodded, nervous after the night before, but still determined. He too, rose from the couch, and quickly followed her to Leila's room. Once again, Leila was standing up in her crib, her baby cheeks and sleepy eyes just peeking over the edge, with her arms outstretched and waiting for them. Samar stopped right by the edge of the crib, tousling Leila's sleep-messed curls, and shooting Aram a quick questioning glance beside her. Aram took a breath, forcing the images of her life without him from his brain, then tentatively reached forwards and lifted Leila from the crib. He cuddled her close to his chest, nuzzling his face into Leila's hair, and sighing in relief.  

'Hey, ladybug,' Aram murmured soothingly, 'I missed you _so_ much.' Just as laying on the couch with Samar had been an instant relief, so too was it an overwhelming relief to be able to hold Leila again. Samar tucked herself around them, one arm around each of their backs, holding them both protectively.   
'Baba,' Leila mumbled against Aram's shoulder. This time, however, it wasn't the distressed wail for him of the night before. Instead, it was happy. Sleepy, but content. Leila squirmed in Aram's arms, shifting her head to look up at him. One tiny hand came to rest on his jaw, brushing her fingertips along his stubble and giggling softly at the sensation of the coarse, short hairs that she had discovered a few weeks earlier. Aram couldn't help but laugh through his sniffling and teary eyes, at her delight.  

'Better?' Samar asked quietly, still rubbing gently circles against his back. Aram shifted his gaze to her standing there, right beside him.       
'Much.' Aram nodded, then tipped his head to kiss her cheek. 'Thank you.'  
'You have nothing to thank me for,' Samar observed, shaking her head. She smiled back at him, then spoke softly as she cuddled back into both of them; 'I'm just glad I have you back.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, back to short and fluffy for a moment after those last few difficult ones, with 'Thankful'.
> 
> Sidenote; I'm sure I've asked this before but forgive me, I've forgotten, and I'm just curious; who on here reading this, is also over on tumblr?


	80. Thankful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Thursday, November 23, 2017.
> 
> Righto, back to some short fluffiness for a bit while the musketeers head towards the holidays.
> 
> Enjoy!

'I don't know, but Liz said she was determi-' Samar stopped speaking mid-sentence at the sight of her phone screen starting to flash Levi's name. Aram glanced up, furrowing his brow in curiosity at the sudden pause that caught his attention. They were mid last minute morning scramble before heading to Mehri and Naveed's for Thanksgiving lunch. Aram was still a little on the fragile side in the aftermath of Shaw and the initial struggle to let Samar in, but with each day the conversations came easier. In this case, the topic was the lunch they were bracing for; Liz had decided that now she had reluctantly reached a compromise with Reddington, quickly moved into the beloved townhouse and thus had access to the biggest oven of all of them, she wanted to be the one to cook the Thanksgiving turkey... Or at least, _attempt_ the Thanksgiving turkey. Her cooking skills that still left an awful lot to be desired, had resulted in the rest of them agreeing quietly when she wasn't listening, that Mehri would discreetly cook a back up turkey, _just_ in case. The conversation was casual, both Samar and Aram talking to each other in passing in the hustle and bustle back and forth through the apartment, but Samar's sudden stop made Aram stop too.

The conversation had been so casual and comfortable that the sudden stop was nearly even more unexpected than the sight of Levi's name flashing on the screen.

'Something wrong?' Aram asked cautiously, at the way Samar's face suddenly crumpled as she read over whatever message was on her phone.   
'Uh...' Samar blinked, reading the email over once, twice more, then glanced back up at Aram with an expression that was hard to read; 'Talia's pregnant.' Aram gaped in pleasant surprise.   
'Levi's wife?'  
'Mmhmm.' Samar's gaze dropped back to her phone for a moment, her eyes far away in distant thought; to be specific, Levi's message was longer and far more thoughtful than her summation of it. It wasn't a mass text to let all loved ones know the good news at once, but personally written to her instead... As Levi had apparently insisted to Talia that Samar be one of the small handful of important people allowed to know during the initial, early, quiet period before the announcement to the general population –and that was even accounting for the fact that after little Shahin, Levi and Talia were keeping the news quiet for a little longer than the standard twelve weeks before telling people, just to be safe.   
'That's great!' Aram declared, but his clear enthusiasm faltered at Samar's distant expression. '...Isn't it?'  
'Sure.' Samar bobbed her head nonchalantly, her words not quite matching her tone. She certainly seemed as if she was _trying_ to be pleased for Levi, but it wasn't difficult to tell; memories of the past were always going to come back at such moments. 'I mean, I talked him into agreeing to try, when they were debating it...'   
'…But now that it's actually happening, it's a weird feeling,' Aram knowingly finished the sentence for her. Samar nodded, tilting her head to shoot Aram a contemplative smile.   
'Yeah...'  
'You ok?'  
'Don't you worry about me,' Samar murmured thoughtfully, brushing her fingertips along his cheek and kissing him softly. 'I'm still supposed to be worrying about _you_ , remember?' She took a breath, steadying herself and finally allowing a more genuine smile to slowly etch its way across her face when Aram kissed her back. 'Come on, let's go,' she added quickly, 'we've got a burned turkey to rescue.' Aram stifled a laugh, turning on the spot as Samar reached for the wrapped pie dish on the counter that contained her first ever attempt at a pumpkin pie for their collective dessert. Aram crouched down, outstretching his arms for the toddler busily trying to stack blocks while sitting on the rose blanket on the floor just to their side.    
'Leila,' he chirped. Within seconds, Leila was up on her feet and hurtling towards him. With all the necessary sound effects, Aram lifted her –and of course, the ever important Mr Spikes clutched in one hand- from the floor, ready to follow Samar out the door. Samar chuckled to herself and rolled her eyes in amusement at the gobbling turkey noises Aram was putting on under his breath and then finally, off they went.  

/*/*/*/*

'It's been a crazy year since the last Thanksgiving,' Liz spoke up sagely. There they all were, seated around Mehri and Naveed's dining table, just waiting for her turkey to finish warming up in the oven. She wasn't wrong; no sooner had the words left her mouth, did all the rest of them immediately think back to their last Thanksgiving –the one postponed by a week and held in Samar's hospital room. 'I think we should go around the table and all say something we're thankful for.' She glanced pointedly at Ressler, seated to her left.  
'Why do I have to start?' He half-heartedly protested... Until both Liz _and_ Samar seated on her other side, kicked him under the table. 'Ok then...' Ressler rolled his eyes in mock exasperation, before casting his gaze around the room. A soft smile tugged at his lips as his gaze came to settle on Leila, perched happily on Naveed's knees on _his_ left; 'I guess... I'm thankful for Leila.' Ressler glanced quizzically around the table again, unsure if his answer was really what they were looking for. Regardless, it was true. Since the last Thanksgiving, he had lost his mother, but he had gained a new perspective, a new boundary with Samar, and the opportunity to regularly spend time with Leila, and if that wasn't the best thing to have happened to him all year, Ressler didn't know what was. Nobody at the table voiced any complaints however, and so it was time to move on.    
'I'm thankful for my garden,' Naveed observed, matter of factly. Mehri and Aram both instantly rolled their eyes in response, while Liz and Samar both smirked. That wasn't all Naveed was thankful for, but it was certainly all he was going to admit to. Naveed ignored their amusement, however, and turned, glancing to his own left at Mehri.

Mehri simply gazed adoringly at Leila on Naveed's knee, and Sammy on her own.

'I'm thankful for the fact we're closer to our grandkids now,' she said softly. Mehri, unlike Naveed, had no shame whatsoever in admitting to the sentimental.    
'I'm going to go ahead and say Leila's thankful for Sammy,' Samar added drolly, watching the two of them babbling happily to one another from their neighbouring knees, completely in their own little world and ignoring the adults around them.   
'And vice versa,' Liz chuckled in agreement, before taking a more contemplative tone; 'and I'm thankful for the fact that even though it's been a wild ride to get my record expunged, and I can't adopt a newborn like I thought I would, I'm on track now to adopt another child.' She bobbed her head up and down, with an enthusiastic grin as if trying to emphasize her own point; 'I don't know who, and I don't know when... It's kind of exciting.' Of course, Liz was also grateful for the act that she finally had the townhouse she loved so much, but just like Ressler and Naveed it was something she was going to keep to herself rather than admitting it. Negotiating an agreement with Reddington that saw her take the house at a significantly lower than market value price, had taken hours of on and off debating, but finally it was hers... And Liz was already taking great delight in turning the den room into a colourful space that was a combination of a playroom for Sammy and friends, and a less formal living room equipped for adult friends visiting for coffee too. It was a space where the kids, who were still little enough to require constant supervision, could play together safely with all of Sammy's toys within immediate reach, and also a space where adults could be comfortable sitting in the selection of colourful, eclectic armchairs around the edges, talking and drinking coffee all the while watching on. With its large, city road map rug, large toy box, and Sammy's rocking horse in the corner, it already looked great... And Liz smiled every time she saw it.  

'I'm just grateful for you guys,' Aram spoke up softly in turn, 'and Cooper, and Angus.' He paused, reflecting back on the last couple of weeks; 'without you guys I might not be here at this table right now.' Everyone around the table exchange small smiles, each thinking back over the events of the last year or so. With the exception of Mehri and Naveed who weren't law enforcement, the same could really be said for all of them. Too many cases had come frighteningly close to changing all their lives, from the bank heist Ressler had walked into, Shahin's return and attempts to blow up half the city, the breakout from the Post Office interrogation rooms and of course, Shaw's attempt to frame Aram, just to name a few. Aram turned his head, shifting his gaze to Samar who was the last in the cycle around the table.  
'I'm grateful for the same,' she murmured, giving him a wry smile. 'I'm glad I have you back.' Samar was also thankful for the fact that she and Levi had moved beyond the past, beyond Shahin, and that they could share things again. It felt strange to know that Talia was pregnant and yet, somehow Samar was oddly calm about it now that the surprise had worn off... Though that wasn't necessarily table conversation.

Liz grinned at each of them around her, satisfied with the full round of the table.

'Oh, and you know what else I'm thankful for?' She suddenly chirped, 'turkey time.' Liz quickly rose from the table, heading for the kitchen. All the other dishes that they had each brought, already sat lined up along the centre of the table, just waiting for the turkey Liz had prepared at home earlier that morning, brought along with her to Mehri and Naveed's, and then put back in the oven to keep warm upon arrival. Everyone else at the table exchanged wary glances; they were expecting it to be terrible. Liz could barely cook waffles without setting the kitchen on fire; how she had attempted a turkey without burning it was a wonder to all of them... In fact, it only made them worry that it might be _under_ cooked instead. Nonetheless, Liz had not made any admittance to failing in her attempt. Whether or not that be because she was in denial or too proud to admit a failure, they weren't sure... But the sight of her now proudly pulling the turkey out of the oven and gleefully beginning to carve it, did little to ease all their nerves.

Thankfully, the backup turkey that Mehri had promised to prepare just in case, was ready to go. She had cooked it the night before, and in the event that Liz's turkey was completely inedible, Mehri's only needed reheating while they all tucked into the rest of the food.

The tray of Liz's carvings was set down in the space in the centre of the table that was reserved for it earlier.  

Another round of cautious glances was exchanged around the table as Liz looked on expectantly, waiting for them all to dig in.

It certainly _smelled_ good, at least.  

Warily, Naveed reached forwards first, adding a few slices to his plate. The others quickly followed suit, eager to appear supportive of her efforts no matter how terrified they were of potential food poisoning.  

Giving a satisfied nod, Liz returned to her seat, tucking into the turkey and the rest of the vegetables and trimmings too.  

Aram took a cautious bite of his turkey, as did Mehri, then Samar, then Naveed, and then Ressler. Liz watched on, awaiting their reaction...

...Everyone's eyes widened in surprise, staring wildly at each other, and then Liz in utter amazement and shock.

'What's wrong?' Liz asked, her heart instantly sinking. 'Is it _that_ bad?' She let out a sigh, frustrated at herself; 'it's too dry, isn't it? Ugh, I _knew_ I scooped out too much of the juices... And-'  
'-No, Liz,' Ressler spoke up over her.  
'Try it,' Aram added, nodding adamantly. Liz looked up from her hands, staring back questioningly at all of them, but lingering on Mehri. Mehri gave an encouraging nod... And Liz cautiously took a bite of her own. All at once, the terror vanished from her face in favour of absolute delight once more.

Not too dry, not burned, and not overcooked either.

The turkey was _perfect_.

'I did it!' Liz whooped, both proud of herself and absolutely stunned all at once –and loud enough that even Leila and Sammy both looked up in surprise at the sudden noise. 'I didn't think I could do it, but I did!' The smile stretched wide from ear to ear. 'I was sure that it was going to be awful and one of you would have to cook a spare one just in case, but-'  
'-Well, _actually_...' Aram began, shifting awkwardly in his seat.    
'I did cook another one last night,' Mehri finished softly. She smiled proudly at Liz all the same, and Liz pulled a face; a twisted combination of mild annoyance, and a sheepish, understanding grin.  
'Seriously, you guys?' She sighed, in mock exasperation.  
'We were just playing it safe,' Samar explained gently, 'because if something happened and we had no turkey, we knew you would feel awful.' Liz paused, weighing it up in her mind.  
'Well...' She began, 'I _could_ be annoyed at your collective lack of faith in me, but....' A mischievous grin tugged at Liz's lips. 'Now you have _two_ turkeys to get through.' That and of course, Samar and the others weren't exactly wrong. Liz _had_ been as nervous about the turkey as she was determined to give it a go, simply because with her cooking history –or lack thereof- the chances of her actually getting the turkey right were slim, and she knew it... Just as she knew that she really _would_ have felt awful had she ruined the centrepiece of everyone's meal.  

But, she hadn't. Words couldn't describe how pleased Liz was with the success, and how much everyone seemed to be enjoying their meal. Her gaze panned around the table once more; everyone was now eagerly filling their plates, chatting and laughing. Sammy picked peas from Mehri's plate, one by one, and clumsily pushed them into her mouth. Whether Mehri had put the peas on her plate for that purpose or whether Sammy was simply helping herself to her favourite vegetable, Liz wasn't entirely sure, but either way Mehri seemed unfazed. Leila in turn, was gnawing on a piece of roast potato that was similarly stolen from Naveed's plate, by trying to squash it whole into her mouth with her palm. All the while _both_ of them continued to babble quite contently back and forth between themselves over the food.     

  
Whatever miracle had caused her turkey success, Liz didn't know... But regardless, she was thankful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, 'Buckets'.


	81. Buckets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Friday-Saturday, December 8-9, 2017. 
> 
> Just some short fluff this time around. :)

**_FRIDAY NIGHT..._ **

Samar let out a yawn as she trudged, completely exhausted, back into the apartment. It was two in the morning, or some other ungodly hour along those lines, Samar wasn't exactly sure. Once again Mossad had sent her away for a night, and though Samar had no desire to go and leave Aram alone after recent events, she didn't exactly have a choice. Orders were still orders.  

But finally, she was back. She closed the front door behind her, taking extra care to ensure it closed softly without a sound, then continued her way through the apartment.

A quick check around Leila's door in passing revealed the little one apparently trying to smother Mr Spikes in her sleep.  

The next door down a few minutes later, revealed Aram equally sound asleep. He was sprawled out half on his side, half on his front, with the bedcovers tangled around his sweatpant-covered legs. Samar's eyes crinkled in adoring amusement, quickly swapping her jeans and coat for her tank top and sleep shorts, and then quietly crawling into bed beside him. It took all of two seconds for her to then curl up against the warmth of his side and press a kiss to his cheek, and another second after that for Aram to roll over in his sleep, fling his arm across her waist, and go still again.  

Samar smiled softly as she settled into a more comfortable position against his arm, and her eyes fell closed.

It was good to be home.

/*/*/*/*

**_SATURDAY MORNING..._ **

Blurry vision and a face full of dark curls was what greeted Aram when the sunlight streaming in through the crack in the curtains convinced his eyes to flicker open.

He shuffled a little further back across the bed, or _tried_ to anyway.

His arms wound tightly around Samar only allowed him to move so far without pulling her along with him.

Aram screwed up his face, yawning sleepily until the meaning of that properly sunk in; _Samar was home_. He had known when he went to bed alone the evening before, that he would wake up in the morning to her having returned during the night. Samar had told him as much when she had called from the airport at the last minute before her flight, to say she was on her way. But, it was different waking up and actually finding her there. That moment came with not just the knowledge of her potential to return, but the fact that she really _was_ there, safe, and no longer needing to be worried about. Gently so as not to wake her, Aram disentangled himself from Samar. He sat up, turning just for a split second to observe her still sound asleep. A hint of amusement crossed his face; Samar was sleeping, with her brow furrowed and her face twisted into a tiny frown. She was still though, and her breathing was even. Whatever she was dreaming about, it wasn't one of the nightmares that tended to rear their ugly heads after a case away that _hadn't_ gone well. Aram could only wonder what had that look on her face... Or rather, he wondered what childish and mischievous thing he or Liz –or _both_ \- could possibly be doing to exasperate Samar in her dreams this time. Aram swung his legs around to the side of the bed to get the day started, already knowing that Samar would understandably need to sleep a little longer.

He paused, turning on the spot where he now stood on the floorboards at the end of the bed, wondering what time to wake her. If left to sleep after returning home so late, Samar wouldn't wake until mid-afternoon... Throwing out her body clock to the point where she took a few days to get back into a normal routine. But on the other hand -Aram glanced at the alarm clock that read 6:07am- Samar definitely needed to sleep for a few more hours, or she would be exhausted. After all, she never seemed to get much sleep at all on the nights she was away. Aram shifted his gaze back to her, smiling softly; other than the frown, Samar looked peaceful, albeit a little cold. She was curled up tightly on her side, her shoulders bare from the straps of her tank top having slipped down in her sleep. Now, they peeked out around the edge of the bedcovers that Samar normally tugged all the way up to her chin. Making a snap decision, Aram ambled around her side of the bed. He leaned over, softly kissing her forehead and grasping the edges of the covers to pull them up higher when Samar gave a small shiver. A few button presses on the alarm clock set it for 9:30am; enough for her to get a decent amount of sleep, but without leaving it _too_ late.  

/*/*/*/*

Leila awoke not long after Aram did. Morning routines passed some of the time, but once Aram sat Leila down and tried to read her a story as a break between running laps around the living room, building elaborate block towers for Mr Spikes -and Bandit, for that matter- to knock over, and then taking a nap, Leila refused to sit still. She wriggled and squirmed off Aram's knees, until he had to hurriedly scoop her up again before she wriggled so far that she nearly tumbled off the couch. Leila grumbled and her lip began to tremble, automatically filling Aram with dread.

He rose from the couch, rocking her to his chest in an effort to calm the wailing before it started...

But he didn't quite manage it fast enough.  

'Shhhhh....' Aram tried to soothe her, right as the high pitched wail erupted right by his ear. 'I'm sorry Leila,' he murmured softly. 'We're really not having a good run of this lately, are we?' Between him having been absent for a few days with the whole debacle over Shaw a month earlier, and now Samar having been away for a night for Mossad, Leila's routines were all out of sorts.   
'Nooo,' she yelled, flailing her tiny fists against his shoulder.  

Ah, 'no'. Leila's latest discovery and her new favourite word. She was saying it to everything, anytime she wasn't happy with something. It didn't always make sense in the context of the conversations Aram and Samar tried to have with her, but in this case it did, and Aram had to stifle a laugh. An idea popped into mind, and Aram broke into a small smile as he bounced Leila and rubbed her back some more.    
'Ok ladybug, come on,' he whispered to her, turning and ambling across the living room, heading down the hall. Finally, Aram stopped in the bedroom doorway, and pointed to Samar still sound asleep. Leila's gaze followed the gesture, and though her lip continued to tremble and she leaned her head further into Aram's shoulder in her misery, her grizzling still gave way to quiet. 'See? Mama's just there,' Aram added, in as reassuring a voice as he could muster, 'and she'll be awake in just under a half hour from now.'  
'Mama,' Leila miserably copied the familiar word, her hazel eyes focused intently on Samar. Aram's eyes widened a little in surprise; he hadn't been entirely sure that the strategy would work, but now that it had, it only made the guilt ten times worse... And he had no doubt that Samar would feel exactly the same when she woke up; after all, she hadn't wanted to go away for Mossad in the first place, even if it was only _one_ night.  

'Feel better now?' Aram ran one hand through Leila's messy curls, standing there in the doorway where Leila could see her mother, for just one more minute before moving to wander away from the bedroom once more... But the second he moved, the second Samar disappeared from Leila's view, another wail blasted Aram's eardrums. 'Hey, shhh...' He hurriedly tried to calm her; that last thing any of them needed was for Samar to be jolted from catching up on much-needed sleep for the first time in two days. Aram scurried those two steps quickly back to the bedroom doorway, bringing Samar instantly back into view... And once again, Leila's grizzling lowered in volume. Aram furrowed his brow, both in confusion and distinct curiosity. 'You just want to be able to see her, huh?' He softly mused. Leila simply buried her face against his shoulder again in response. Deciding to take that as an affirmative to his question, Aram ambled step by step further into the room. Still, Leila remained quiet.  

Warily, Aram lowered himself to his own side of the bed, pulling up his feet and finding himself a comfortable spot just to sit there... With Leila now nuzzled contently against his chest, and Samar still deep in slumber by his side. Aram dotted an affectionate kiss to the top of Leila's head; if just resting there for the limited remaining time left until Samar woke up, was all it took for Leila to feel more comfortable, Aram could do that quite happily.

/*/*/*/*

Samar's bleary eyes snapped open barely two minutes before her alarm was due to sound. She let out a yawn, stretching her legs out along the bed... And then suddenly paused.

Someone was behind her on the other side of the bed.

Samar quickly rolled over, spotting Aram still sitting there, back against his propped up pillow, and Leila on his knees, leaning into his chest, now completely content and sound asleep.    
'What are you guys doing in here?' Samar mumbled, through a sleepy, bleary-eyed smile.   
'Good morning to you too,' Aram mused. He shifted his gaze sideways and down, from the notepad and pen he had in hand, to Samar curled up beside him.   
'Morning,' she yawned in response, shuffling across the bed, still half asleep, and tucking herself as best she could against his side  
'Leila wouldn't settle unless she was in here where she could see you,' Aram murmured, allowing the pen to fall to his lap so that he could run his fingers affectionately through Samar's hair. 'How did the case go?' Samar's gaze snapped to his, the second his first observation registered in her brain.   
'We went in, did what we had to do, and got out again,' she said nonchalantly. 'Nothing too eventful.' Samar rubbed the sleep from her eyes and sat up, furrowing her brow and now staring at Leila's sleeping form in concern. She reached forwards, wrapping her fingers around Leila's tiny ones where they grasped at Aram's shirt. 'Are we stressing her out too much?' She asked. The worry was as clear in her voice as it was in the small frown that tugged at her lips.   
'I know she normally doesn't get this clingy when you're away,' Aram said slowly, glancing down at Leila asleep against his chest, with a hint of contemplation. He knew what was running through Samar's mind though, it was the same thing that had flashed through his own for a brief moment; that they were running the risk of damaging their little girl. 'She gets a little grizzly and searches for you when she's tired but other than that she's usually ok.' Aram's gaze snapped back to Samar's, and she gave a thoughtful nod of agreement, knowing the same had been true when Aram had gone to Delaware to help his parents pack up their old home. Leila was never a fan of any occasion either of them were away, but those were relatively rare occasions, and generally Leila settled well in the end. It just took some extra attention and a few extra cuddles. This particular occasion was an anomaly. 'I think her routine is just a little shaken, and that combined with the fact she was tired because it was nearly nap time, made her grumpier this morning...' Aram paused for a moment, but ultimately he was content just to chalk up the anomaly to that for the moment. He gave an emphatic nod as he continued; 'things go back to normal now, so she should be ok.'

Samar gazed at Leila for a second longer, trying to shake the concern from her mind. Finally, she eyed the notepad and pen from the nightstand that Aram had been holding around the sleeping little girl, to occupy himself while he sat there.  

'What have you been doing in the meantime?' She asked softly. Samar craned her neck, trying to see what it was Aram had written down, but he quickly tipped the notepad downwards, hiding it from view.   
'Writing my bucket list,' he chirped. Samar raised a wry eyebrow.   
'Seriously?'  
'It seemed like something I should do.' Aram shrugged, shooting her a sheepish grin. It was a little silly, but the case with Shaw still flashed before his eyes from time to time. Aram was finally starting to feel like things were back to normal, but the worry that he wouldn't be around one day still lingered ever so slightly. Writing his bucket list was simply his next step in coping and accepting what had happened... And it gave that reassuring feeling of being prepared in case it ever happened again. Samar eyed the expression on his face, the smile that masked the fact Aram was still raw after the ordeal. She reached forwards, gently raising the notepad in his hand so she could read it –not to tease, but simply out of interest.   
'What have you got on there?' She asked as she read just the first couple of lines.   
'I want to travel more,' Aram began, somewhat awkwardly. All feeling of being embarrassed over the list however, vanished in an instant as Samar broke into a smile at the idea, nodding enthusiastically. It was a genuine smile, like she was taking him seriously rather than teasing. In short, she understood the small, silly gestures that were a comfort after a significantly stressful event... Not that Aram ever doubted she would, but it was always a relief to _see_ such a thing rather than just know it. The nervous tension in Aram's shoulders began to ease as he continued; 'I mean, obviously when Leila's a bit bigger so she’ll actually remember it, but we could go to London-'  
'-I've been there,' Samar interjected, absent mindedly. She nodded again, this time in thought and agreement as she remembered her experiences there.  
'Or Paris,' Aram suggested next. Samar nodded again.   
' _Definitely_ been there.'   
'Athens?' A touch of annoyance crept into Aram's voice. Samar nodded yet again.   
'There too.'  
'Pompeii?'  
‘Mmhmm.’  
‘ _Australia?’_  
'Yep.' Aram stared at her, incredulous.   
'Is there anywhere you _haven't_ been?' Samar furrowed her brow at Aram's irritated tone.   
'When you work for Mossad, you go to a lot of different places...' She trailed off cautiously. With a dejected sigh, Aram glanced again at his list.   
'I kind of want to do something crazy too,' he muttered, 'just once. Like jump out of an airplane or something.'  
'I've done that too,' Samar murmured back.   
'Ok,' Aram sighed. 'Is there _anything_ on here you haven't done?' Samar glanced quickly at the list once more.    
'Besides all the future things you have listed, like seeing Leila graduate high school...' She paused for a moment, shaking her head thoughtfully, 'no.'  

A frown quickly etched its way across Aram's face, and Samar winced; she hadn't been trying to be annoying or reject anything on his list. Rather, she had the experience to know that all his ideas were great things to be on the notepaper list in his hands, and wanted to encourage his enthusiasm with agreement.  

'That doesn't mean _you_ can't do all those things,' she added softly, trying to offer him a guilty smile. 'And it would be nice to travel for _non_ -Mossad purposes for once.' Aram's frown vanished in favour of a more sheepish look as he realised the point Samar had been trying to make, and the annoyance began to ease.    
'You should write your own bucket list,' he suggested, offering her the pen and notepad. His face lit up at the idea, but though Samar broke into an amused smirk, she also gently shook her head.   
'No.'  
'Why not?' Samar hesitated for a split second at the question, but quickly changed the subject.   
'Hey, why is a bucket list called a bucket list anyway?' She asked, trying to sound casual. Aram raised a wry eyebrows but noted the change of subject and decided not to ask... Or at least, for the moment anyway. Samar sat up a little further still, clambering out of bed finally, and then lifting Leila off Aram's knees, ready to put her in her crib. Aram followed suit, swinging his legs back around to the edge of the bed and standing once again.   
'It's the list of things you want to do before you kick the bucket,' he explained as he moved. Samar simply raised a curious eyebrow of her own as she turned in the doorway, facing him.  
'Then where did _that_ phrase come from?'

/*/*/*/*

'Disneyland,' Aram suddenly burst out, over his lunch.    
'What?' Samar asked, against her better judgement. Aram glanced over his bowl of soup, to where Samar was building block towers with Leila again on the floor. Aram broke into a wide, mischievous grin.   
'I _bet_ you've never been to Disneyland.' Aram bobbed his head, pleased with himself for thinking of it. Samar gave a wry smile; all day since their conversation after she woke up, Aram had surpassed his earlier annoyances, and instead taken it as a challenge to think of things she had never done or places she had never been. From Niagara Falls, to the Sydney Opera House, and to the Leaning Tower of Pisa, it seemed she was going to quash every suggestion he offered... But finally, it seemed he had found one that she couldn't.    
'That would be an accurate bet,' Samar mused, nodding her agreement.  
'We have to take Leila one day.'  
'Add it to your list.' They locked eyes for a moment, both stubborn and amused. Aram narrowed his eyes in determination, before finally breaking the silence.  
'Add it to yours too,' he insisted –albeit only teasingly.   
'I'm not writing one,' she repeated, for what felt like the umpteenth time that afternoon. Aram simply rolled his eyes in mock exasperation, and shook his head; he was adamant. He was going to find something worthy of her bucket list, it was just a question of _what_...

/*/*/*/*

Evening fell on the apartment. Aram continued brainstorming places Samar had never been, but didn't stumble across any other possibilities beyond Disneyland, or perhaps Antarctica. Now, Samar sat on the couch, Leila having just fallen asleep for the night against her shoulder. Bandit was curled up, with the top of his head pushed against Samar's leg, and his face squashed down into the couch cushions to keep the cold away from his waffly nose. He too, was sound asleep, and Samar absentmindedly dropped one hand to scratch between his ears.  

'And here I thought you didn't like him,' Aram spoke up quietly from beside her, smirking at the soft sound of purring that was beginning to fill the air between them.   
'I don’t,' Samar replied, all too matter of factly. She withdrew her hand as soon as Aram brought her attention to it, and the ginger cat instantly snapped open his eyes and raised his head to glance up at her in feline-esque disgust. Samar met the cat's gaze, giving a wry smile. 'You know I hate you... Right, Furball?' She softly teased him. Bandit simply rolled on the couch cushion beside her, curling his paws around his face, and ignoring Samar once more. Samar shifted her gaze back to Aram, shrugging nonchalantly. 'See? She chuckled. 'We have an understanding of one another.' Regardless, her hand dropped to absentmindedly stroke the cat's fur once more. Aram gave a tiny shake of his head in amusement, knowing that she would never admit to having developed even some degree of fondness for the cat that tended to be as picky with his affections as she was.  

'Ok...' Aram opted to let the topic go, and return instead to the one that had been bugging him all day; 'why won't you write a bucket list?' Samar let out a wary sigh as she dotted a kiss to the top of Leila's head, and then finally met Aram's gaze again, knowing that he just wasn't going to let the question go until he had an answer.   
'I don't need one,' she reluctantly began, and Aram furrowed his brow in confusion. 'With my history, and Mossad, I've done enough crazy things.' Samar shrugged, suddenly feeling all too awkward. She took a breath, bowing her head for a moment and steeling herself, before offering Aram a sheepish smile. 'The only thing I really want before I kick the bucket now, is to be happy,' she said slowly, 'and I think with you and Leila, and _maybe_ even Bandit, I can manage that.' Samar panned her gaze across the couch as she spoke; Leila and Bandit sound asleep, and Aram by their collective side. Aram's desire to travel was something she was more than eager to encourage and follow, but in all honesty Samar didn't really mind at all where she was. After everything else that had happened -justice for her brother no longer being a goal, and having now come to terms with the loss of both her parents and little Shahin- so long as she had Aram, Leila, and Bandit, and they were happy, Samar was happy. Continuing to protect her country and take down as many of the world’s criminals as possible was just a particularly great added bonus. Her gaze returned to Aram's once more, feeling as awkward as he had earlier in the day when hesitant to share his bucket list in the first place... But just like her own expression earlier, Aram's too now, bore only understanding. He leaned across the couch, over Bandit, to press a gentle kiss to her cheek.  
'Ok,' he murmured softly '...But we're still taking Leila to Disneyland in a few years.' Samar burst into soft laughter as she tilted her head to lean it against his.  
'Ok.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, another short one... But another familiar face returns after a little while without him, aaaand I may have delighted just a little too much in some carrot dangling (even down to the title), in 'Inklings'. Start taking your guesses, I'd love to see where you all think this story is going to end up. :D


	82. Inklings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Monday, December 18, 2017.
> 
> Does that date ring a bell and give you a clue about who's returning -albeit briefly- in this one?
> 
> In other news; happy birthday, AuraSweet13!!! Yes, I know it's a couple of days early. I figured this chapter would be a better shoutout than the next one, so it wasn't going to time *quite* right for an extra birthday post... But it's close enough, right? :)

'I had an inkling I'd see you here,' a familiar voice broke Samar's absent minded staring out at the oval shaped pond. It was a soft, kind voice, and just as reflective as Samar herself was feeling. She took a deep breath, slowly tearing her gaze from the early threads of thin ice breaking over the water after the light snowfall from the night before. She glanced up, from the pond, from the old, wooden bench she was sitting on, and from the cardboard carry tray of coffee cups sitting on it next to her that she was supposed to have been delivering back to the Post Office before being sidetracked by the pond in the park and everything on her mind. 'I wasn't sure if I'd find you here today or Thursday, though...' The voice continued, before trailing off. A small, thoughtful smile tugged at the corners of Samar's lips as she eyed Levi coming to a slow stop by the side of the bench. He bore the exact same expression; pleased to see her, but contemplative all the same.

'His birthday seemed a better day to think about than the day we lost him,' Samar murmured back. She pulled the coffee tray along the bench closer towards her, freeing up space for Levi to sit beside it. He did so, staring out at that gently rippling pond just as she had been moments earlier. It was the eighteenth; the very day little Shahin had been born some time in the middle of the day seven years earlier. The significance of the date had lingered in Samar's mind all morning since the second she'd had to check the calendar to write the correct date on an evidence lab signing sheet, and by the time she was wandering past the pond she loved so much –and that was in the centre of the area between the Post Office, the Mossad safe house headquarters in Georgetown, and both their respective apartments- it was difficult not to pause for a moment at the bench and watch the water.  

'I thought the same.' Levi exhaled deeply, nodding as his eyes absentmindedly scanned over the floating fragments of ice. It was getting colder, and their breaths were visible in the air before them as they spoke.   
'I was just on a coffee run for the team,' Samar explained quietly, gesturing at the coffee cups and then turning slightly in her seat to shoot him a quizzical look. 'What are you doing here?' A more sheepish expression began to cross Levi's face and he turned, meeting her eye with an almost guilty smile.   
'It seemed like the right place to be today,' he answered softly. Samar raised a curious eyebrow. 'I was supposed to have a day off to spend with Talia, but she's annoyed with me.'  
'Do I dare ask?' Samar held back an affectionate chuckle.   
'I was hovering,' Levi admitted, explaining the guilty smile, 'which she expects, but...'  
'...But, it's more than usual today,' Samar finished the sentence for him, nodding in instant understanding.   
'Yeah...' Levi gave a small sigh, not in true frustration but more in guilty amusement at the knowledge that he was driving Talia crazy and yet she was putting up with him all the same. Well, _mostly_ anyway. 'She told me to go for a walk and try to get it out of my system, but... I think she just wanted a break for a half hour so that she can put up with me for the rest of the day.' Samar couldn't help but smirk –albeit, with a hint of affection. She remembered Levi's anxious hovering over her during their time in France all too well –where he had meant well in his over-excitement over little Shahin's impending arrival, and his insistence on making sure that she was eating enough, resting enough, and wasn't feeling too unwell either. It had driven her crazy back then, and that was _before_ the loss of Shahin. Samar had no doubt that the hovering would be even worse this time around, and though Levi meant well, Samar also knew how difficult it could be to try and be patient with him... Especially on a day where hormone levels were running high. If anything, she felt a little sorry for Talia but once again, only in the amused sense. She had equally little doubt that Talia's request for Levi to take a short walk outside was angry or truly frustrated at all... And if anything, it seemed that even Levi knew he wasn't really in the doghouse either.  

'That bad, huh?' She gently teased. Levi chuckled back under his breath, but at the same time his eyes wandered contemplatively back over the icy water of the pond. He stayed quiet for a moment, leaving Samar's question hanging there while a curious expression crossed his face –a strange mix of both excited hopefulness, absolute terror, and small hint of hesitation.   
'There's something I didn't mention when I told you she was pregnant,' he slowly began again, and more earnestly this time. Still, his eyes remained gazing at the water, almost as if he wasn't entirely sure he should be saying what he was about to say. Samar watched him, curious but patient all the same, until Levi spoke up once more; 'it's another thing we wanted to keep quiet for a while, but I don't think we're going to be able to hide it much longer.' Samar's brow furrowed in confusion.   
'Levi,' she prompted cautiously, 'you're stalling.' That was something he only did when nervous about something of particular importance, and Samar knew that far too well.  

Finally, Levi tore his gaze from the water, meeting Samar's once again... And he took a deep breath.  

'We're having twins.' The words were as sudden and unexpected as the moment Samar had first realised she was pregnant. Her eyes widened in surprise, in part too stunned to really take the words in.   
'Seriously?'  
'Double the trouble,' Levi groaned, burying his face in his hands for a moment, 'and double the anxiety, as if it wasn't bad enough already.'  
'I'm not sure if I should congratulate you or console you,' Samar murmured warily in response. The tiniest ghost of a nervous smile tugged at the corners of Levi's lips at her words, and his wringing hands finally came to rest once again upon his knees. Side by side they sat there, staring out at the water together, thinking both back to the pain of the past and forwards to the hope for the future. Samar edged one hand from her side, past the coffee and to Levi's knee, resting her fingertips across his and finally giving them a gentle squeeze. All she could do was hope that the past wouldn't repeat itself for Levi, just as it hadn't for her with Leila... And in the meantime, just listening and understanding meant everything. The worry she had felt waiting for Leila to be born was still all too clear in her head, meaning that of all the people on earth, she knew _exactly_ the fears that were running through Levi's. They weren't something she could possibly ease, no matter how hard she tried but all the same she knew; for Levi, talking to the one other person who had experienced the exact same thing was a comfort.  

Silence fell between them as both their mind continued to wander. By now the coffee that sat between them was likely cold, but that was far from the top of Samar's priority list. She thought back to little Shahin, to his big, dark eyes, and the tiny fists that had clenched around her fingers in the fight to breathe. Even then, he bore a frustrated, determined expression at times; he had been a fighter, just like they both were... Only the battle wasn't one he'd ever had a chance at winning. Samar tried to shake that thought from her mind, focusing instead on the moments that had made her smile –just like Aram had once suggested. She thought back to the way little Shahin had nuzzled into her in those rare moments she had been able to hold him, and the tiny smile she was sure she had seen at least once. A small smile crossed Samar's own face at that thought, filling her with relief at the fact that she was at peace with the past now... And that she and Levi really could just sit and talk about it thoughtfully, when once upon a time it would have been far too painful.  

'He would have been _seven_ today,' Levi's soft voice finally broke the silence. He shook his head in disbelief, trying to imagine just how different life could have been.   
'I keep wondering what he'd be like now,' Samar mused, just as quietly, 'if he would adore Leila, or be annoyed by having a baby sister.' She couldn’t help but allow a small laugh to escape her, at the visual of a seven year old miniature Levi running around with another child she and Levi could have had too if things had gone differently.   
'He would love her.' Levi broke into a wide smile at the sudden idea, turning his head and nodding adamantly as if to emphasise his point. 'All Shur men are supposed to dote on their little sisters. It's tradition.'  
'Tradition, or just because yours outnumber you three to one and team up against you?' Samar teased, with a knowing grin. One of the few things she missed from that chapter of her past, was Levi's three younger sisters, the way they all seemed to be constantly smiling and teasing him, and the way Levi always took it all completely in his stride, knowing that it was all in good fun. The trio had always made Samar feel welcome, even though she hadn't had the chance to see them as regularly as she would have liked. Levi gave a nonchalant shrug, and couldn't help but laugh as he responded;   
'That too.'  

/*/*/*/*

'You ok?' Liz's voice rang in Samar's voice. Back at the Post Office and standing in the side corridor by her locker, switching her thick winter coat for a lighter blazer, Samar's thoughts were still back at the pond, but far more happily so now. She glanced back from her locker, at Liz standing in the doorway to the corridor, with her head poking around to smile gently at her.   
'Huh?' Samar absentmindedly began, before shaking her head quickly as her brain caught up with her words. 'Oh, yeah, fine. Why?' Liz's face contorted ever so slightly with sympathy.  
'I know what day it is,' she said softly. None of them had commented, but they had all noticed that Samar's absence to pick up the coffee had been far longer than it should have been. They all knew what day it was, no matter the fact that Samar hadn't said anything. She had at least, stopped by the coffee shop once again on the way back to the Post Office, to pick up fresh coffee that was decidedly _not_ cold, but everyone could tell that the date was on her mind, and they knew that perhaps, the walk out for coffee would give her a break from the paperwork and a moment to herself to think.  

'I'm ok.' Samar nodded; the walk and talking to Levi by the pond had indeed helped to return her sense of calm. She paused, eyeing the look on Liz's face in turn, and the wide smile that returned to it the instant Liz was sure she was fine. It was an excited smile, one that had been etched across Liz's face for seemingly no reason for the last couple of days. Liz had been trying to hold it back, knowing that perhaps it wasn't the best day to be excitedly grinning, but somehow the smile had stuck. 'What's with the smile you can't wipe off your face of late?' Liz shrugged at the question that was Samar's attempt to switch to a more upbeat subject; she really had no idea why she felt so excited.   
'I'm not sure,' she mused, 'I just have a good feeling today.' It was just a feeling that had struck her all of a sudden a few days earlier. There really was no reason for it in particular that Liz could place, but she certainly wasn't going to complain. 'I have Sammy, I have a new place... It's nearly Christmas...' Liz trailed off from her thinking out loud, and shrugged once again. It almost felt like an odd gut feeling. 'Everything's going well, so who knows? Maybe by next Christmas I'll have another little one, and an application to adopt will have been filed.' She chuckled to herself as Samar closed her locker and took the few steps towards her and back to the war room. 'Or maybe I'm just going crazy,' Liz jokingly added. Samar grinned back; the excitement really was contagious somehow.  
'So long as you're happy,' she said softly. If anything, whatever inkling it was that had Liz so pleased, served to lighten her mood as well.  

Perhaps, somewhere out there, a child was already waiting... And Liz just didn't know it yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so yes, there was a little carrot dangling at the end there that was definitely for my own amusement given that I know what happens later. I make no apologies :P
> 
> Next up, 'Festive', and if that titleplus the timeline doesn't give you a clue, then perhaps the joking alternate title given to it by NamelesslyNightlock will; 'Operation Rescue Ressie'. ;)
> 
> Yep, there are two chapters today!


	83. Festive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Friday, December 22-25, 2017.
> 
> Last one for 2017 in the timeline! :o 
> 
> And it comes with another little shoutout, too -LoriRon, you have successfully named a triceratops! Thanks always for reading :)

**_FRIDAY MORNING..._ **

The blinking screen of his cell phone was the sight that greeted Ressler's eyes when he woke up. It sat on his office floor, just inches from where he laid there with his head on the pillow he had discreetly brought along from home the morning before. Ressler blinked a few times, still laying on his side on the floor and processing the blinking light of his phone just within his arm's reach. He reached out clumsily as he finally sat up, grasping the device and pulling it towards him, trying to make out the message on the screen.  

Ressler's face crumpled in instant frustration the second the sleep vanished from his eyes and vision became clear.

/*/*/*/*

'Ressler?' The sound of his name echoed in Ressler's ears barely seconds after he slipped out of his office, headed for the bathroom. It was still early enough that he wouldn't have thought anyone would see him, let alone be there at the Post Office at all... But clearly that was not the case. He turned, trying not to wince as he did so –after all, technically, nobody was supposed to sleep in their offices.  

Samar and Aram stood in the war room, having just arrived and stepped off the elevator. They eyed him curiously; for good reason, really, given that after sleeping in his office, Ressler's shirt was crumpled and half untucked, the hair that usually never had a single strand out of place was skewed everywhere from his pillow, and his tie was still strewn somewhere on his office floor rather than hanging neatly tied around his neck. He certainly didn't look anywhere near as well put together as he usually did. Regardless, Ressler steeled himself. He forced a smile and a relaxed air, quickly smoothing down and tucking in the loose edges of his shirt as he switched tracks and walked towards them.  

'Morning...' He casually mused. 'You two are here early.' Samar simply raised a curious eyebrow as she shifted Leila –still half asleep after the drive over- against her side.   
'Did you sleep in your office?' She asked warily –and notably straight to the point.  
'My building is being fumigated,' Ressler quickly tried to explain without going into too much detail.   
'You couldn't go to a hotel?' That was Aram's turn to voice his own combined curiosity and concern. Ressler paused before responding, wondering how best to describe his predicament.   
'It was last minute...' He trailed off, shifting uncomfortably on the spot. In truth, termites had been found in his apartment building a little over a day earlier –such a nasty infestation of them in fact, that their removal couldn't wait for after the holidays. The building had to fumigated immediately, meaning that all the tenants had been told the previous morning to seek alternative accommodation for the night... But the last minute notice combined with Christmas being just a couple of days away, and Ressler's own lack of family in the vicinity who could offer spare rooms, meant in turn that the options were practically non-existent.  

And so, given that Ressler's office afforded him a relative degree of privacy, access to a clean bathroom and break room –and even showers downstairs in the training gym- plus the fact that there was only one work day left before the Post Office closed for the holidays, he had figured that spending just one night in his office would be far easier and less stressful than calling a dozen motels on the outskirts of town hoping that _one_ of them _might_ have an empty room. He could wake up early, clean himself up, be ready for work by the time everyone else arrived, and none of them would know.  

Or so he had thought.

The early message he had awoken to was from the building manager, telling him that the infestation was even worse than first thought, and that he wouldn't be able to return to his apartment for a few more days again... And it seemed that Samar and Aram were trying to get an earlier start on the Post Office's last day, so that they could finish things up and actually get home at a decent time for the start of their holiday break.

Whatever their motives, there was nothing accusatory about the expressions on either of their faces. Instead, they simply seemed concerned, and understanding of the fact that Ressler didn't seem to want to have to explain himself.  

'Just how many more days are you stuck?' Samar asked again, gently but still to the point. Ressler met her gaze, still feeling somewhat uncomfortable. They could easily have a civil conversation these days, but it still typically related to Leila, work, or took place in some kind of group setting buffered by Liz. Personal conversations just between him, Samar and Aram, were rare and fleeting enough, without the added notion of them expressing some kind of concern for him. Though, if the way Samar dropped her gaze a second later to focus on Leila squirming in her arms as she slowly woke up was any indication, the conversation was awkward for her too... But at least it was an attempt.

'At least three,' Ressler relented, letting out a frustrated sigh. Samar's gaze snapped back to his for a second, and then straight to Aram. The two of them shared a look, knowing exactly what that meant and silently agreeing that they couldn't let it happen. Ressler, whether it be a case of pride, determination, or any kind of mix of both, had chosen to stay at the Post Office and now would probably remain there until his building was clear –no matter the fact that it meant he would spend Christmas there, and alone. With his mother gone and Leila now the only person that even vaguely represented family to him, the fact that Ressler would likely spend Christmas alone wasn't something that surprised any of them –and which in turn, was why Liz had very quickly invited him along to their planned festivities. His hesitation to accept the invitation didn't surprise them either... But spending the holidays not only alone, but in his _office_ as well, was an entirely different level. One, that not even someone like Samar whose relationship with him wasn't _overly_ close, could really let slide.

'You can't stay here over Christmas,' Aram observed, furrowing his brow, and giving voice to the thoughts he and Samar silently shared. Ressler sighed again and shook his head.  
'Then where-' he began in frustrated protest, but Samar quickly cut him off.   
'-With us,' she answered the question with an adamant nod, before Ressler could even finish it. 'We have a fold out couch. It's not ideal privacy-wise, but it is more comfortable than your office floor and it's certainly better than staying by yourself _here_ over Christmas.'  
'Guys, I can't-' Ressler tried to protest once more, but this time his voice was tired rather than frustrated, almost as if all he wanted to do was just accept the reality of his impending awful Christmas and be done with it, instead of accepting their help.  
'-Why not?' Samar in turn, interjected once more. A tiny smile, almost amused by his stubbornness, tugged at her lips before she spoke again –gentler this time; 'Liz would probably insist on offering the same thing if she had seen you here first.'  
'...And at our place you would get to spend Christmas with Leila,' Aram quickly added, nodding adamantly. He paused, suddenly shooting an awkward glance in Samar's direction, completely unsure whether that was something he was really supposed to use as a selling point for the idea. But Samar simply nodded and Leila, having heard her name, sleepily lifted her head from Samar's shoulder and glanced around curiously at all three, almost as if to signal her own agreement too.   
'Are you sure?' Ressler reluctantly asked. His gaze shifted back and forth between them before finally coming to rest on Leila's sleepy smile. Samar and Aram both nodded again, and Ressler gave a small, but grateful sigh; the idea of staying with them for a few days made him feel a little uneasy, but they weren't wrong in pointing out that it was still better than staying in his office... Plus, Ressler's uneasy smile softened slightly as Leila held his gaze and outstretched one arm, reaching for him for a cuddle... He really did like the idea of spending more time with her. 'Ok then...'

/*/*/*/*

**_FRIDAY EVENING..._ **

Off the clock and no longer bound by the obligation to at least _try_ to feign a solely professional relationship, Aram and Samar together in the privacy of their apartment going about their usual family routines after work was something that felt odd for Ressler to watch. On one hand it was awkward watching them go about the usual process of making dinner and feeding Leila, whilst trying to step in and offer a hand where he could; they were trying so hard to include him in the process and make him –and themselves too, for that matter- feel more at ease with the situation that it seemed they alternated between treating him as if he lived there all along, and accidentally ignoring his presence all together in the attempt not to make a fuss of the fact that Ressler being there _was_ so different.  

And on the other hand, seeing them in full non-work, non-group setting, family mode, was something Ressler didn't see very often, and he couldn't help but also feel a twisted sense of fascination... Almost like studying animals in the zoo who went about their own business, completely ignoring the watchful eyes of curious, nosy humans behind the fences... Well, for lack of a better analogy, anyway.  

Ressler glanced curiously around the living room as he pulled down glasses from the cupboard Samar had pointed out to him and set them on the table, his gaze panning past Samar putting the final touches on dinner, past Aram taking each plate one by one to the table as she finished -and dotting a kiss to her cheek in passing- and past Leila toddling happily around their feet. The ginger cat he had heard so much about was nowhere to be seen -'probably hiding somewhere' as Aram had explained- there was a small menorah that still sat on the mantel, after Hanukkah had finished a couple of nights earlier... And in the corner of the room, there was even a Christmas tree. It was perhaps only three or four feet high, with the bright pink triceratops –the very same one that Ressler had won for Leila at the fair months earlier- balanced precariously amongst the upper branches in place of an angel or star at the top, all the other branches decorated with a short string of twinkle lights, Styrofoam baubles and wooden shapes that Leila had clumsily finger painted at the childcare centre over the last week or so, and what appeared to be crayon scribbled pages that were chopped into shapes and looped with thread to hang up too.  

It wasn't much, but it was certainly more festive than Ressler's apartment or office was.  

It also served to show just how personal the space was that he was invading, and it made him feel even more awkward all of a sudden.  

Regardless, Ressler tried to shake off the feeling as he set the last glass on the square table, Aram placed the last plate beside it, and Samar sat Leila into her high chair alongside them.   
'Nice tree,' he awkwardly tried to make some semblance of conversation beyond small talk as all three took their seats around the table –him and Samar somehow ended up opposite one another so that they would both be on either side of Leila, and Samar would still be next to Aram as well. Ressler gestured casually at the tree in question, then glanced questioningly at Aram; 'your doing?' Aram and Samar swapped knowing, amused glances.   
'Samar's, actually,' Aram mused, smiling affectionately at her rather than meeting Ressler's eye as he spoke.  

It still surprised him too, that Samar had put together the tree, but in the best possible way. He'd had his menorah for Hanukkah, and Samar had curiously asked if their celebrating both Hanukkah with his mother, and Christmas with Liz meant they should have a tree too... Aram of course, had loved the idea -he was all for embracing the general, happy, festive feeling of the overall season after having grown up with the traditions of multiple faiths all at once- but had also pointed out that a tree wasn't necessary if she didn't really want one. Samar however, wasn't tied exclusively to any given practice either; she too, after years in Iran, then Israel, then the States –not to mention everywhere else during her travels in between- was more used to enjoying and joining in with the traditions of those around her after having lost her country. She had her own beliefs but she too, preferred the family feeling of the season and being with those she cared about wherever she happened to find herself at the time, far more so than being tied to the specific customs practiced and finding herself isolated when she wasn't always familiar with them... And so, after having seen Aram linger over the small trees and decorations at the store following the initial question, Samar had decided to surprise him with one.  

Without even immediately realising he was doing it, Ressler shot Samar a look of surprise, just as Aram's grin widened even more so at the hint of pink tickling the edges of her cheeks. Samar turned slightly in her seat, focusing her gaze instead on Leila and the bite size pieces of vegetables that the little girl was clumsily picking up one by one from the tray in front of her. Sharing her softer side with Aram or Liz was difficult enough at times –and hinged on the trust that they wouldn't make too much of a fuss of her for it- but allowing Ressler to see anything that could be vaguely considered 'cute' without being Leila-related, was well out of Samar’s comfort zone.  

'Yeah?' Ressler asked, a hint of tentative amusement tugging at his lips. Seeing her doing anything out of the stoic and tough persona she bore at work, or the mom-mode he saw glimpses of with Leila, felt so strange. He couldn't imagine Samar spending an afternoon cutting careful shapes out of crayon scribbled pages, threading yarn through the top of each one and then hanging them from a tree, at _all_. And yet, somehow, there was something about the idea that amused him, not in a condescending way, but in a way that could even be vaguely described as somewhat affectionate. Ressler thought back for a moment to their brief conversation on Halloween about their repressed inner children, and his smile widened ever so slightly. Being allowed to see that side of her was a surprisingly nice change... And it made him feel slightly less awkward about having allowed them to see the moment of desperation that had led to him reluctantly staying at their apartment.  

'She forgot to get a star though,' Aram said drolly, breaking the silence as he eyed the mild discomfort that had Samar still focused on Leila rather than responding. Samar rolled her eyes in mock exasperation as she casually plucked one of the vegetable pieces off Leila's tray and handed it to her.   
'We don't need a star, we have Ruby,' Samar replied, in that up-and-down childish voice for Leila's benefit. The little girl giggled at the voice, and at the mention of the familiar name, reaching one squashed vegetable mush-covered set of fingertips out for Samar's face.  
'That's what you named the dinosaur?' Ressler withheld the incredulous laugh that went with the otherwise undisguised look of surprise, right as Samar dodged the vegetable mush and countered with a baby wipe.  
'Aram named her,' Samar corrected him, finally shifting her attention back to Aram once she was free from the threat of mush trails on her face. The tiniest of grateful smiles tugged at her lips as she met Aram's gaze –disguised as a teasing smirk. Aram however, and unlike Ressler, knew the difference and grinned back, pleased that his quick change of topic from her embarrassment –however fleeting, though it had felt like an eternity- had been successful.   
'You named it... _Ruby?_ ' There was a look of disbelieving amazement on Ressler's face as he voiced the question.  
' _Her_ ,' Samar interjected, but only Aram really paid the correction any attention. He paused just long enough to grin at her again –after all, he took such things with the utmost seriousness, and Samar knew it- before shifting his focus back to Ressler on his other side.  
'What's wrong with that?' He asked, brow furrowing.  
'Nothing,' Ressler quickly tried to backpedal. 'But after _Mr Spikes_ …' He trailed off, unsure how to explain what he was thinking; that Mr Spikes had seemed so left of field at first and yet, so appropriate all at the same time. He had almost expected that the bright pink triceratops would have a similarly outlandish but simultaneously adorable name. Samar simply smirked; she too, had been mildly surprised at Aram's choice in name but unlike Ressler, she was less inclined to question it. It was far more amusing just to roll with wherever Aram's imagination ended up.   
'She was a tricky one, ok?' Aram began to explain, 'I thought 'Cera' maybe, after the little triceratops in the _Land Before Time_ movies-' Ressler quickly shot Samar a quizzical look at the reference that went flying over his head, and Samar shrugged cluelessly in response. She hadn't seen the Land Before Time movies either and had next to no frame of reference for them beside the fact Aram had told her they were a particularly lengthy series that would have to wait until Leila was 'old enough to truly appreciate them'. If the grin that had been on his face at the time was supposed to be any indication, Samar had deduced that it was code for the movies having catchy but annoying songs in them that Aram didn't want caught in her head until Leila was able to sing them. Regardless, Aram either ignored or missed the silent exchange between Samar and Ressler, and continued with his rambling; '-but Cera was orange, not pink, so that didn't quite work. Ruby just seemed to fit... You know, even though technically rubies are red, not pink.'

'Right...' Ressler trailed off in turn, nodding warily. He glanced quickly over his shoulder at the tree, gesturing at it once again with his thumb. 'It looks like Ruby's about to topple over the tree though.'  
'That's the fun part,' Samar spoke up, all too matter of factly. She eyed The bright pink dinosaur balanced so precariously on the upper branches, deliberately positioned at such an angle that she stared down the tree while her tail wrapped threateningly around the treetop. 'How many Christmas trees are part of an unfolding dinosaur attack?' Ressler shot Aram a look of absolute bafflement, but Aram simply rolled his eyes in amusement.  
'Don't ask,' he stage whispered, holding one hand against his cheek and facing Ressler as if trying to block Samar from hearing his voice. Samar ignored the pair of them, refocusing her attention instead on Leila's attempts to squash her vegetables rather than eat them. She at least, found the idea of the dinosaur atop the tree amusing, and she was fairly certain Aram did too. She was entertaining herself by allowing one of those rare emergences of her inner child for once; after all, Samar might have been all for embracing the family feel of the season, but she was also always going to have her fun and put her own unique spin on it too, rather than stick to the more minor traditions like typical tree-toppers. Putting a dinosaur on the tree -something that Leila would find so much more interesting than a star or an angel- made it an all the more personal touch on the season's festivities, as far as she was concerned.  
'Leila seems entertained by it,' she mused softly, and smiling at Leila's mischievous grin, 'and isn't that the important thing?'

/*/*/*/*

**_SATURDAY MORNING..._ **

A loud squeal echoed in Ressler's ears and without a split second's pause, he went sprinting. He went sprinting out of the kitchen area where they'd all just had breakfast, and down the hallway, only coming to a sudden stop as he practically skidded into the bathroom doorway.

Aram had been making everyone's coffee in the kitchen and hadn't even batted an eyelid at the sound or rushed to follow Ressler either... Not that such a fact really registered in Ressler's brain until after he arrived at the bathroom.

Samar swivelled suddenly on the spot where she was crouched on the tiled floor beside the bathtub to glance at Ressler in surprise. She had been –with her back to the bathroom door- busily scrubbing the remnants of mashed banana and oatmeal from Leila's arms, hair and well, _everywhere_ , after a particularly messy and excitable breakfast. Leila had been far more preoccupied with splashing around and enjoying the bubbles which of course, was what had resulted in the delighted squeal... But Ressler, still pre-coffee, on his first early morning waking up in their apartment, and not used to hearing Leila's noises in a home environment unless she was at his own place, had heard the squeal and instinctively rushed towards it.   
'Oh,' he muttered, blinking at Samar in front of him, as the situation clicked properly in his brain. 'Right. Your place.' Samar blinked right back at him, still stunned slightly by his sudden bursting in. 'Sorry, force of habit,' Ressler added, bowing his head somewhat sheepishly. He certainly wasn't used to being able to _hear_ such delighted squeals without being able to _see_ Leila right in front of him. A small, wry smile lit Samar's face as she realised what had happened. It was a surprise for sure, but not at all a bad one once her state of being temporarily stunned wore off. If anything, it was almost reassuring that Ressler _would_ drop everything and go running for the little girl happily splashing in the bubbles.   
'I figured,' she said softly, offering him that small smile. 'Hear squeal, run to squeal instinct?' Ressler grinned back instantly at the summary that he knew meant she understood exactly.   
'Something like that,' he chuckled back.   
'Resseeee,' Leila cackled happily, as she caught a glimpse over Samar's shoulder of him standing there. Samar had to both duck as Leila's splashing only increased in excitement –resulting in bubbles flying straight at Samar's face- and tighten her grasp ever so slightly as the little girl tried to rise from her sitting position and stand at the edge of the tub, nearly slipping in her excitement to reach Ressler. It was that very same excitement that had resulted in the oatmeal splatter in the first place; waking up and having her favourite breakfast with Samar, Aram _and_ Ressler there all at once was apparently so exciting that it was overwhelming for her.    
'Hey sprout,' Ressler tried desperately to put on a more calming voice rather than laughing, as he took a few steps further into the bathroom and crouched beside Samar at the edge of the bath. He waited for Leila to sit herself back down again before warily turning his attention to Samar once more; 'can I give you a hand with something?' He asked quietly.  
'Uh,' Samar began, blinking in surprise again for a second. 'You don’t have to, one of us normally has it covered...' She paused, eyeing the sheepish expression still on Ressler's face. Normally she and Aram had a morning routine that worked perfectly just for them, with both of them managing to get themselves ready for the day while tag-teaming each step with Leila –whether it be breakfast, bath time, or any other step. They took turns, one of them tending to Leila while the other did something else, and then switching. With Ressler in the mix, the routine was slightly off... But if the expression on his face was any indication, his offer to help had nothing to do with thinking they really _needed_ it but rather, that he was eager to do _something_ , especially if it had something to do with Leila. Samar's face softened slightly; if Ressler really wanted to do something, having an extra set of hands certainly wouldn't hurt. '...But if you want to,' she spoke up again, 'you can hold her still for a second.'  

Samar slowly lifted Leila –now squeaky clean and notably _not_ covered in oatmeal splatter- from the tub, turning on her knees to set Leila on her feet in the middle of the bathmat on the floor. Ressler turned at the same time, holding Leila still as she landed on her feet, and Samar tugged down the fluffy towel from the rail on the wall on her other side. She and Ressler exchanged quick grins as she draped the towel around Leila and the little girl began to squirm; it was not all that long ago that Leila had discovered the utter joy of being removed from the tub, and then darting away in a flash, cackling and running through the apartment not just undressed, but still dripping wet to boot. It had caught both of them on separate occasions, so now they were both careful to keep her away from the door out of the bathroom. Ressler continued towelling Leila down from head to toe until she was completely dry and her dark curls were soft and fluffy once more, all the while Samar moved onto the next step; diaper and clothes.  

Between the two of them, Leila was dressed again in a flash, much to her rather notable disgust. Her mischievous plan to go running was foiled, and it showed clearly on her face. The grin of excitement that had appeared when she clapped eyes on Ressler was now gone, in favour of a distinctly unimpressed scowl that almost seemed far too discerning for her young age.  

'You have that scowl down to a T, kiddo,' Ressler tried hard not to laugh again, as he picked Leila up off the floor, and both he and Samar rose to standing.   
'Between the two us, are you really surprised?' Samar chuckled back. Ressler raised a wry eyebrow.  
'Are you referring to the combined gene pool, or the team effort just now that made her scowl?' He asked drolly.  
'Either.' Samar shrugged nonchalantly, but still couldn't hide the smirk. 'Both, even... Thanks.'  
'No worries.' A brief silence fell between them, the awkwardness of him being there now suddenly fading.  

'Maamaaaaa,' Leila burst out, breaking the silence almost as quickly as it started. Just like that, the scowl was gone from her face and she squirmed in Ressler's arms, now reaching for her other favourite person in the room.   
'Come on,' Samar mused to her, taking Leila from Ressler's arms and planting a kiss on the top of her head. 'Let's see if Baba's made the coffee yet.'

/*/*/*/*

**_MONDAY AFTERNOON..._ **

Christmas Day at Liz's new townhouse came and went with much food, good company, and many a squeal from both Leila _and_ Sammy. Among other things, they were all glad to have picked her townhouse as their destination for the day, but more than anything else they were glad because with both the group and the kids' extended range of movement growing, they really did need the space of something more than anyone else's apartment. 

It also meant that finally, they all had the chance to see the house in its newly decorated glory. 

Though, it was the colourful playroom –Liz's pride and joy when it came to the house decorating- that seemed to be everyone's favourite part of the house. Each wall was painted a different colour –pastel, not too garish, of course, but a different colour nonetheless. One was pink, one blue, one green, and one yellow, with a narrow and horizontal strip of decorative wallpaper that bore light sketches of fairies and other such magical creatures, running across the centre all the way around. It was utterly hideous –and completely unlike every other room that was decorated in a far more classy fashion, for that matter- but in the most brilliant, endearing kind of way. 

Nearly all the adults sat in the collection of eclectic armchairs scattered around the edges of the room –everyone except Aram and Ressler who sat on the city road map rug with the kids- but no matter where they sat, they were _all_ stuffed, sleepy, and utterly content after their Christmas lunch. Even the two kids were sleepy; they had for a while been playing in overwhelming glee with the piles of torn wrapping paper dragged into the playroom from the living room where the tree was, and a large cardboard box that had originally been host to a gift as well. It was different from the last Christmas, where the two toddlers had been old enough to appreciate the colourfulness of the paper and sparkly-ness of the bows, and roll around in it all for a while, but _now_ at sixteen and seventeen months old they could run around in it, jump in it, throw it in the air, and climb in and out of the boxes tipped on their sides.

They seemed to enjoy the sight of their actual gifts too, but it was the paper and the boxes that really captured their fascination. 

Leila and Sammy played with the mountain of colourful paper mess for well over an hour... Until Leila's eyes began to droop and she curled up in the pile between Aram and Ressler, and went to sleep, still with the shiny gift bow in her hair that Aram had jokingly stuck there earlier. Sammy wasn't far behind her, curling up next to her friend, resting her head on Leila's belly, and nodding off too perhaps all of five minutes later. 

Perhaps another ten minutes after that, Hudson curled up protectively at their feet and went to sleep as well, exhausted after their squealing and chasing of him for the entirety of the day before then.                         

Samar panned her gaze around the room, from the kids asleep on top of each other between Hudson, Aram and Ressler, to Liz watching on too by her side, to Mehri resting her head against Naveed's shoulder as she too watched, smiling sleepily, and then to Naveed himself who actually _had_ dozed off in his chair. Samar smiled softly as her gaze rounded the room and finally settled back on Leila sleeping soundly, tangled comfortably with Sammy. Without even thinking about it, Aram was affectionately running his fingers through her messy curls as he seemed to daydream happily.

'Thank you for letting me stay with you,' Ressler murmured to her as he noted her wandering gaze –albeit quietly so as not to wake the two tiny, sleeping toddlers besides him. He glanced at Liz in turn; 'and for inviting me to Christmas,' he added, somewhat sheepishly. Ressler bowed his head for a moment, as Samar and Liz's eyes both crinkled in pleasant amusement. 'It really was better than staying in my office.'  
'Don't be silly,' Liz whispered back, gently shaking her head, 'of course you were supposed to be here for Christmas.' For a split second she swapped glances with Samar, who nodded in agreement. 'Didn't you know you're part of the group?'

Ressler gaped ever so slightly, then grinned widely. Inside he knew that really, he wasn't all that different. Like the rest of them –though, with the exception of Aram, of course- he too, had no parents, and he too, worked the same office and had his own share of a difficult past. Ressler knew all this, but it was always that original conflict with Samar so long ago now, that had served to occasionally split him from the rest of the group, especially back at the start when she and Liz and Aram all began to cling together. Now, despite the occasional awkwardness, that conflict was long past, but the feeling of not always quite belonging to the group still lingered sometimes... Until those words hit home.  

Ressler opened his mouth to respond, and Samar opened her mouth to add some gently teasing quip at his silence... But Hudson rolled and kicked out in his puppy slumber before either of them could find the voice for their words. The golden furred pup's legs collided sharply with Ressler's –who jumped and gave a small yelp in surprise before he could even stop himself.  

Leila began to stir and grumble at the movement, and then so too did Sammy still with her head on Leila's belly. Two sets of toddler fists grasped instinctively at the mountain of shiny paper still around them, and both sets of eyes of eyes flickered open. Still half under Sammy, Leila rolled in the paper, making Sammy only grumble more so...

...And then those wide blue eyes spotted the stream of sparkly, silver ribbon just on Leila's other side.

She darted forwards for it, Leila right behind her, as every adult in the room tried not to laugh.

The first piece of Christmas paper went flying in the air once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up; 'Energy'.


	84. Energy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeline story date; Monday, January 1, 2018.
> 
> 2018, here we go! 
> 
> This is the first of two chapters for today! And here's a shoutout to my mystery anon over on tumblr for all the shenanigans over the last couple of weeks! :)

It was during the chaos of breakfast that the phone rang. Leila in the portable high chair neighboured Sammy in her usual one, with Samar and Liz both trying desperately to hold their eyes open long enough to try and stop the oatmeal, yoghurt and fruit from splattering too far.  

Aram was just as desperately trying to remember how to use Liz's coffee machine while his own eyes sat above dark, tired rings.

Perhaps staying up until well after midnight the night before to ring in the new year hadn't been the best idea after all.

The two munchkins had gone to bed on time, of course, with Leila taking the crib in the spare room that Liz had set up for both such occasions, and the sudden arrival of emergency foster cases. And then began the attempt to repeat the shenanigans of youth that had seen their parents wide eyed and counting down until the ball dropped on that live television feed from Times Square, just for the fun of it.

It seemed to be something that might have been better left behind in their youth, however. They had all been wide eyed and still riding that pleasant wave of festive adrenaline rush when the shining numbers on the DVD player clock began with a two and they all went to bed –Samar and Aram taking the fold out couch... But once the sunrise came and toddlers started happily running around as they usually did, Samar, Liz and Aram certainly did not bounce back and find themselves able to run on the limited sleep anywhere near as well as they had done years earlier.  

They all placed their hopes in that caffeinated elixir of life to keep them functioning or at least, once Aram figured out the machine anyway.

Until then, the shrill sound of Liz's phone ringing did not earn the device anything other than matching scowls from all three.

Aram switched places with Liz in an instant so that she could take the call, and then _hopefully_ convince the coffee machine to fill their mugs. In the meantime, and as Liz darted into the next room, Aram took one glance at Sammy's cheeky grin and instantly armed himself with baby wipes.

It was about five minutes later, when Samar and Aram were starting to wonder what conversation early in the morning on New Year's Day could possibly be taking so long, that Liz came back into the room.  

'So...' She began slowly. The scowl was far gone from her face, now replaced by a far more apologetic expression. 'Did you know that the holiday period is Social Services' worst nightmare?' Aram and Samar quickly swapped uneasy, sympathetic glances; the plan for the day _had_ been that the three of them would stick together, both resting easy after the night before and giving each other a hand while Sammy and Leila entertained one another... But it seemed as though that was about to change. 'Something about festivities getting out of hand, and everyone else being too busy to answer their calls for help...' Liz sighed again. Samar and Aram swapped split second glances again, but this time with tiny smiles; as per usual, it took no words for them to silently agree on what was going to happen next. Aram swivelled back in his seat, facing Liz once again as he earnestly asked;  
'What can we do to help?'

Liz instantly took a sharp breath in, slowly and almost guiltily shaking her head.

'No, guys,' she tried to start, 'you don't have to stay if you don't want-' but Samar shook her head just as quickly.  
'-We were going to stick together today because it's easier that way when we're all tired,' she gently pointed out. 'We can still do that. Just add one more child to the mix. We can stay here and watch Sammy while you go and pick him or her up, if you want.'  
'Him,' Liz confirmed, 'a little boy, around the same age as Sammy and Leila.' Liz shook her head in frustration as she thought back on what the Social Services representative had briefly explained to her over the phone; 'apparently parents who are impatient over bitter custody disputes that get delayed by the holidays don't always handle their New Year's festivities so well, so now the little guy needs someone to keep an eye on him while one parent gets a couple of stitches and a judge is called in on their day off to sort out new emergency custodial orders.' Samar paused just long enough to cast her eye back to Leila busily chortling over her favourite breakfast.  
'I'm sure Leila won't mind having one more friend to play with today,' she said softly, as if to confirm that her and Aram's offer still stood –or even, that they were even _more_ determined now to stay with Liz for the day now, given the situation. 'Right, honey?' Leila continued to babble happily at her breakfast, grinning mischievously as she ran her yoghurt covered hand all the way down her own cheek. Samar gave a tiny, exasperated sigh at the pink trail of berry yoghurt that was now all over her daughter's face, but otherwise took the gesture as one of assent to her question. She turned her gaze back to Liz, offering a nonchalant shrug and a soft smile; 'see?'

/*/*/*/*

Unlike the relative calm of little Sofia and Sammy together, Liz's new, colourful den room was now chaotic. It was the easiest part of the house for them all to stick together, with all of Sammy's toys right at hand for the kids to play with, and the seating around the edges for the three exhausted adults too... But now with _three_ similarly aged toddlers squealing in delight and running around in circles chasing Hudson, they certainly had their hands full. Sammy was clearly sociable, taking as quickly and happily to to her mother's temporary, new charge –Jackson, the little boy's name was- as she had Sofia months earlier.  

But in doing so, the three kids had discovered what they thought was an utterly hilarious new game; trying to escape the room.

The colourful den room wasn't the sort that had its own door. It connected up to the rest of the house with an archway that opened into the main hallway, opposite the general living room, its entrance little more than a step down from the hallway's floorboards onto the den room's soft carpet. And so, between playing together with Hudson and all the toys, every so often one of the three munchkins made a break for it, charging towards the step, trying to climb up over it, and then cackling mischievously when either Liz, Samar or Aram managed to stop them in their tracks and then plant them back in the centre of the room with the other two.  

'I think they've officially discovered the joy of challenging us just for the reaction,' Samar informed Aram through a muffled yawn when he returned to the room from the kitchen bearing a tray with three more cups of coffee, and three sippy cups all refilled with water. Liz quickly nodded her complete agreement, eyes wide in the effort to keep them open. Aram raised wry eyebrows as he glanced back and forth between the two, and set the tray down on the side table between two of the chairs.   
'The bathroom escape attempts after bath time didn't convince you already?' He sighed, sitting down again to join the rest of them on the floor surrounded by blocks and other toys.   
'They did,' Samar nodded warily as she spoke, 'but now I’m extra convinced.'  
'You know what would be helpful, right about now?' Liz spoke up, handing Sammy one of the sippy cups, and then reaching for another for Jackson. 'A baby gate. You know, like the ones we've both got in our kitchens? But a bigger one.'  
'Or we could just try building a temporary barricade,' Aram countered, thinking aloud, 'the chairs would work. We can get around them easily enough if we need to, but the kids can't.' Liz glanced around the room; the collection of individual armchairs were all relatively light and easy to move. The kids wouldn't be able to move them or climb up over them –after all, they were too high- but the adults could quickly push between a gap between them and then close it again, if any of them needed to go to the kitchen, the bathroom, or change any of the kids' diapers.  

Of course, those were desperate measures that they wouldn't need if they weren't so tired, but Liz was pretty sure that qualified as desperate times.

A light brush past her legs jolted Liz's attention from that particular thought, and she turned on the spot.

'Oh, _Leila_ ,' Samar gasped, jumping to her feet at the sight of Leila bolting across the room as quickly as her little legs could carry her. 'Not _again_.' It only took two of Samar's long strides to catch up, scooping the madly giggling little girl up off the floor into her arms, carrying her back to where Sammy, and Jackson were knocking over their block towers with stuffed animals, and setting her back on her feet. Screwing up her face in defeat for a moment, Leila sat herself back down again and reached for the next thing to take her interest; Sammy's musical toy drum.  
'At least they haven't quite mastered discretion yet,' Liz observed, shrugging nonchalantly.   
'Maybe Sammy hasn't,' Samar replied with a droll smile, just as Sammy took her own turn at scuttling across the room, cackling loudly as she did so, 'but we never did figure out how Leila got her hands on that cookie.' Liz stepped sideways, intercepting her little girl before she even reached the step and promptly guiding her back to the group once again. She was somewhat easier to stop than Leila; where Leila didn't start giggling until she was caught, Sammy giggled all the way across the room, earning herself attention well before she reached her goal. Leila on the other hand, had the uncanny ability to stay quiet when she really wanted to. Liz shook her head in amused exasperation as she quickly built another trio of block towers to be knocked down. She glanced at Jackson -the little boy's eyes crinkling with mischief already and his hands covering his cheeky grin- and shook her head yet again as she held his gaze.

'Jackson, don't even think about it, buddy,' she murmured, the second Jackson's eyes darted sideways just for a split second to glance across the room at the step. The little boy instantly cackled in response, and ever so innocently nuzzled into Hudson stretched out beside him instead. Liz shifted her attention back to Samar, shooting her friend a look of utter disbelief; 'remind me _why_ I want another one?'  
'Because if we were all actually awake, we would see the funny side,' Samar chuckled, then let out another yawn.   
'They do seem to have a lot of extra energy today.' Liz let out another yawn of her own, her head tilting thoughtfully as she observed all three. Nonetheless, as exhausted as Liz was, Samar was right. The delighted grins across all three sets of chubby baby cheeks as they played together was impossible not to adore, and there was something about their boundless energy that filled her with an odd sense of contentment.  

Where Samar sat on the floor on the opposite side of the group, she allowed herself to drop backwards as Liz spoke, until she lay on her back on the road map rug, with her arms splayed out lazily either side of her.   
'Maybe they're making up for our comparative lack of it,' she sighed, staring up at the ceiling. Leila eyed her mother laying there for a moment, breaking into another wide grin. She dropped her blocks back on the floor and shuffled across on her knees towards Samar, until she reached her side. With a gleeful laugh, the little girl flung herself across her mother's belly, landing with just enough surprise impact for Samar to let out an 'oomph'. Liz and Aram both failed to hold back a laugh, as Samar wrapped her arms around Leila, tickling the little girl's sides and making her cackle all the more so.   
'I vote that if we actually manage to wake up later, we take them to the park after lunch,' Liz mused. 'See if we can wear them out with the slide and the swings.'   
'Agreed.' Aram nodded adamantly. A second later and Sammy –never to stay away from Leila for too long- joined the pile up on top of Samar, incidentally pinning down one of her arms. Jackson followed close on her heels, launching himself up onto Samar's knees before Hudson too, pounced from Samar's other side. From under the pile up of three toddlers and a shaggy dog –and in receiving no assistance from Liz or Aram who found it far too amusing to watch instead of pulling the kids away- Samar could only laugh helplessly as she replied;  
'Deal.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, a momentary return to angst, in 'Heartbeats'.


	85. Heartbeats

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Thursday, January 18, 2018.
> 
> Here we go; the second of today's two chapters... And back to a smattering of angst!
> 
> Warning for canon-typical violence/death/destruction, including a *brief* depiction of a child victim (not a main character). You know the drill; skip if that's not for you. :)

It was during the mid morning briefing that half the phones in the war room all rang at once. Everyone scrambled to their desks to answer them, completely leaving the briefing to the wayside. Ressler's brow furrowed in confusion at first as he heard what was happening, then Aram tapped away at his keyboard and immediately brought up the breaking news headlines on the overhead screens...

...And then all hell broke loose.

'Guys...' Aram began, rising from his desk chair, as he scanned the text on the screens so rapidly that he nearly went cross-eyed. There was instant fear in his voice as he pointed to the pictures now appearing on the screen, and as soon as Samar and Liz turned to look in the same direction, they knew exactly why.  
'NBC live feed is saying it looks like it might be a terrorist attack,' Ressler spoke his thoughts aloud, to nobody in particular.

But none of the rest of them listened to a single word he said.

The images right there on the screen showed the Archives Metro stop... And a full train of passengers that had crashed, with a huge stone wall falling down on top of the front half.

In a single, fluid motion, Samar and Liz reached wordlessly for their gear, ready to run. Aram fumbled in his own desk draw, reaching for his own handful of things, ready to accompany them. Ressler raised a curious, confused eyebrow, catching only Aram's gaze and staring back questioningly.

And then Aram gave him the explanation that made his heart feel like it was dropping into the pit of his stomach.

'My parents and the kids were all supposed to be on that train.'

/*/*/*/*

Not a word was exchanged between the four of them in the frantic drive to the scene, that saw them all march out of the office in an instant without explanation and without clearance. Those were the _last_ things on all of their minds. In two cars racing across the city, one behind the other with Aram and Ressler in one, and Samar and Liz in the other, no words _needed_ to be exchanged. All any of them could do was hope that their worst fears weren't true... That Mehri, Naveed, Sammy and Leila, weren't on board that Metro train.

Of all the days for Mehri and Naveed to take the kids to the Smithsonian for a day at the Natural History museum, instead of them going to the child care centre like they normally did.

Their apartment was right in the middle of a triangle shaped space between two Red line stops, and another that served the Yellow and Green lines. The plan had been to travel from the latter on the 9:43 Green train straight down to the National Archives stop to get off the train on the correct side of the National Mall, right behind the museum they wanted, rather than switch lines along the way to get off at the Smithsonian stop all the way on the other side that only served the Blue, Orange, and Silver lines.  

It had seemed like a perfect plan... Until now.

In the first car as Ressler drove, Aram repeatedly dialled and redialled both of his parents' cell phones, desperate to get through to at least one of them... But there was no response. That left them with no choice but to investigate the scene for themselves, _hoping_ desperately that they weren't about to find any familiar faces amongst the victims.  

Images of the entire little family having been ripped away from them in one horrifying instant filled all their minds to the point that it was nearly all that any of them could see by the time the two cars stopped, side by side, directly outside the line of yellow caution tape that the Metro PD was using to cordon off the scene.  

Samar took a breath and gritted her teeth as they all jumped out of the cars, willing her tear ducts to stay in check for just one more minute so they could get past the officers checking the badges of each and every person trying to duck under the tape. Her hand slipped down to her belt, reaching for that shiny, Bureau-issued ID in its black, leather bound wallet... Either side of her, and out of the corners of her eyes, she spotted Liz, Ressler, and Aram all doing the same thing. In a jagged line, all of them trying to hold it together, they marched towards the tape.

Their hearts all pounded in their chests so hard that Samar could practically hear her own.

'FBI,' Ressler nearly struggled to say out loud, holding up his badge as they all approached the disheartened looking officer in front of them.  
'They told me there was a team coming,' the officer murmured back, nodding as he cast his eye over each of their badges in turn. Samar, Liz, and Ressler exchanged wary glances at that; wondering how close behind them the expected team was. Aram meanwhile, struggled to stop his bottom lip from giving out as the officer reached him at the end of the line. A breath caught in the throats of all four as the officer stopped, studying Aram's face for a moment... But instead he simply gave a short nod of acknowledgement, and a weary sigh; 'yeah, it's pretty rough down there,' he added softly.  
'You saw it already?' Liz asked, desperately trying in turn to sound like nothing more than mere, professional curiosity.   
'Some,' the officer said, nodding. That certainly explained why he seemed so downcast. 'It doesn't look good.' He gave another short nod, lifting up the yellow tape for them and gesturing forwards; 'go on through.' Ressler stepped back, allowing Liz and Samar to duck under the tape first, as he nodded gratefully in turn to the officer.  
'There are more agents still on their way,' he added quickly.  
'Sure thing, sir.' The officer clapped him on the shoulder as Ressler moved to step under the tape, clearly giving up on formality in favour of solidarity in the wake of the accident; 'good luck.'

'...There are more still on their way?' Aram echoed softly, curiously back to him once they all cleared the tape. They paused, still all in a line, gazing in utter disbelief at the destruction in front of them. Much of the station's stone and concrete interior was destroyed, having all crumbled in an instant upon impact when the train ran off its rails and rolled straight into the wall opposite the platform. Huge pieces of cement rubble and dust littered the sections of walkway that remained in tact. Across the station –and they could see it from their place just inside the entrance given how much of the interior, upper floor walkway had collapsed onto the centre platform- part of the train was already visible... Or at least, what was left of it.   
'We're not supposed to be here,' Ressler quietly reminded him. All question of using their badges for personal issues aside, the train crash also wasn't their team's case... And the Bureau had strict rules about agents taking assigned cases out from under the feet of others. 'That gives us time to get out without the Metro PD raising eyebrows when the team that are _supposed_ to be investigating the scene actually get here.'  
'Who are you, and what have you done with Donald Ressler?' Samar muttered absent-mindedly in response, as Aram gave another contemplative nod. Ressler glanced in surprise at her on his other side, but not an ounce of antagonism could be found on her face. Instead it only bore the same combination of fear, devastation and hope that his did as they all took in the sight of the wreckage in front of them. Ressler took a breath, and gave a tiny shrug of his shoulders, before Liz spoke next.  
'Come on,' she breathed, her fingers interlacing themselves fearfully with Samar's without either of them even realising it, 'let's get down there.'

It wasn't easy to climb down the single, narrow section of staircase that the first emergency responders had cleared as safe, but at least it wasn't far and it didn't take long. The wreckage of the train was right in front of them now, the front half of it barely visible under the larger pile of rubble that came with the immediate vicinity of impact. Samar tried to separate herself from any semblance of emotion as soon as she saw it. She tried to reason with herself that if her family was on that train, there was nothing more that could be done, and getting too emotional wouldn't fix anything. She tried to convince herself that somehow, it just couldn't be possible for any of them to be there... But none of it helped. The first tears already rolled down Liz's cheeks just looking at the sight in front of them, and that was all it took for the adrenaline to start rushing and the sick feeling to ramp up its churning in Samar's stomach even more.  

'Stay here,' she suddenly turned and ordered Aram, as she spotted a bench still half in tact not far from them.   
'No, Samar,' he immediately protested, 'I have to go with you, my _parents_ could be in there.' Samar took a breath, trying to steel herself rather than think about what was going through his head; while they were all worried about Leila and Sammy, none of them could compete –no matter how hard they were trying- with Aram's worry for _his_ parents as well as that for the kids.   
'You need to stay here, and see if you can track the GPS signal in their phones,' Samar tried to reason with him. One of them, at least, had to try not to fall apart; 'they might not have enough signal to get a call through but you might still be able to trace them.'  
'Assuming they're not in...' Aram trailed off for a second as his voice cracked, and he gestured fearfully at the wreckage; 'there.'  
'They might not be, we don't know for sure.' Though in reality, Samar wasn't sure who she was working harder to convince; Aram, or herself.  
'You know Dad,' Aram's voice rose quickly as he shook his head. 'You know he insists on catching the exact train he sees listed in the timetable, not just the next one that happens to arrive at the platform when they get there. _This_ is the one he said they were planning to catch, the one that left their station at 9:43.' Samar bit her lip, knowing that was true, but still she pressed on.  
'They might have still missed it,' she countered, albeit shakily.  
'Samar, if my parents are in there, I _need_ to see them,' Aram was _pleading_ with her now. Samar took another breath, not one, but two tears escaping down her cheeks as his words instantly made her flash back to finding her own parents bodies inside her home some two decades earlier.  
'Finding your parents' bodies is hard enough,' then it was Samar's turn for her voice to crack bitterly. 'You don't need to see everything else in there as well. _If_ we find them, I'll come and get you. In the meantime, stay here and track the signal-'  
'-Samar-' he tried to interject, but she didn't let him.   
'-Aram,' Samar raised her voice just enough to argue over him. 'At the moment we don't know for sure that they're in there. At the moment, while there's still the possibility that they were on the next train or the one before, there's _hope_ that they're alright... And I need that right now, ok?'  
'We all do,' Liz sniffed quietly from beside her. Aram's gaze snapped to hers, then to Ressler's, having almost forgotten for a moment that they were both there too. Taking a deep breath of his own, Aram steadied himself and carefully sat down on the bench.   
'Ok.'

Samar, Ressler, and Liz turned, and headed towards the wreckage.

'Where do you think we should start?' Liz asked, her voice barely audible as all three of them panned their gazes across the length of the twisted metal carriages.   
'From the back, and work our way forwards,' Samar replied, trying not to glance back over her shoulder at Aram. Ressler shot her a quizzical look. 'Mehri prefers the side of the platform that ends up boarding the back half of the trains,' she explained quietly.  
'Probably for the best,' Ressler murmured, nodding his agreement to the plan. His gaze swept instinctively up and down the train once more; while the front half was completely crushed, the back half had barely half the rubble. It was completely twisted, and separated from the front by a gaping hole where the concrete had fallen straight through one of the middle carriages, but there was far more space to walk through inside, and it was easier to search.  

One by one they stepped off the end of the platform, and climbed into the back most carriage, careful not to bump their heads on the top of the doorway where it was sagging down from impact. Samar wasn't entirely sure if the wreckage had even been completely cleared to walk through yet, but she also didn't care.  

If Leila was on that train, Samar had to find her.

For what felt like an eternity, the three of them searched, staying in a line and steadily making their way up the train, each of them scanning everything ahead of them as they moved in perfect synchronisation so as not to miss a thing. The mess of bodies that they made an effort to carefully step around rather than _on_ , was horrifying... Every single passenger on the train, bar six who were right at the very back, had been killed on impact –or so they had heard in passing the other officers and responders on scene. It was nearly impossible to keep it together as they had to take in the faces of each and every mangled victim, their bodies twisted, torn, and covered in blood, dust, and squashed, plastic seats. The anxiety as they crept ever forwards, continued swirling in Samar's brain, as she hoped with everything she had that Leila, Sammy, Mehri, and Naveed weren't going to be the next faces they found. In an odd sort of way, it almost didn't seem real yet, that her family was possibly amongst that crowd of faces and lifeless bodies, and yet at the same time, just the idea that they could be felt like it was tearing her up into a million unbearable pieces inside.

'Oh,' Liz's sudden gasp broke the silence of their concentration. She stopped, grasping immediately for Ressler's arm where he was just off to her side, and covering her mouth with her free hand in shock. Ressler and Samar both stopped, turning and shifting their gazes to what she was looking at; a young boy, perhaps six at the most, with a mop of messy blonde hair. Thankfully he seemed to be shielded by some of the older passengers, and wasn't quite so twisted, nor bleeding –which was to say, he had been either crushed or suffered some kind of blunt force trauma in the initial impact rather than suffering as slowly as some of the other passengers appeared to have done- but that was a hollow comfort... And it wasn't hard to tell what had Liz so immediately upset.

With the mess of wavy blonde hair, and the delicate facial features, he even looked a little like Sammy.

'It's not Sammy,' Samar quickly pointed out, her voice firm in the effort to reassure her friend, but even Samar too, struggled at the sight of the little blonde boy. 'Liz, that's _not_ Sammy.'  
'I know,' Liz replied, her voice struggling not to crack in her throat. Her tight grasp on Ressler's arm began to ease.  
'Ready?' He prompted, albeit gently. Liz paused, not responding straight away. Instead she glanced around the carriage, searching. Another mess of blonde hair perhaps four feet away, or less, even, seemingly thrown in the force, and hidden beneath a row of plastic seats caught her attention; a young woman, with almost identical features... The boy's mother.

Liz tried to take some comfort in the fact that the mother had been there with him to hold his hand in those last few moments... And that she wouldn't be a mother waiting at home, for the police to arrive and tell her that her son was gone.  

It was another hollow feeling comfort, but at that point Liz wanted to take whatever she could get. She crouched slowly by the little boy's side, outstretching two fingers to gently brush the messy hair out of his pale blue eyes and then close them so that he seemed to be sleeping peacefully. She crouched there for a moment longer, memorising those delicate facial features, before finally rising again. Samar and Ressler moved to either side of her, Samar resting one gentle, reassuring hand against Liz's back.   
'Ok,' Liz murmured, 'let's keep moving.'

The three of them turned, continuing their way down the back half of the train until they reached the gaping hole in the middle carriage. The metal curled inwards from the rubble that created the hole, blocked the path forwards any further.

'I haven't seen them, have you?' Came Ressler's defeated voice, glancing at both of them. Liz and Samar both quickly shook their heads, exchanging anxious looks. They glanced ahead at the front half of the train, biting lips and clenching fists, and knowing that the prospect of having to move on and search that half too would be even worse than what they had already seen… And that was already bad enough.  
'-Hey, uh, guys?' Aram tentatively called out from the bench on the platform. As they all poked their heads out from the wreckage, he gestured for them to come, and quickly. In a flash, they climbed their way out of the train once more, and darted across the platform to him, cautiously eyeing the way he was pointing to something on his laptop. 'Look.' There was a map of the city on his screen, that Samar could see as she craned her neck to look over his shoulder, and on that map was one, tiny, blinking light, that looked much like the ones that appeared when Aram was tracking someone.   
'Whose phone is that?' She asked, unsure whether she was hoping it was exactly what she thought it was, or whether she was trying _not_ to get her hopes up lest they be dashed later. Whatever the dot was, it was relatively close, but not right on top of them.  
'Mom's,' Aram answered, the hope wavering clearly in his voice, 'I can't get Dad's, but Mom's is flickering.'  
'Could have been flung out the window into the tunnel before the crash,' Ressler cautiously suggested. The gazes of the other three instantly snapped to his, glaring at him for even daring to suggest such a thing. Though in truth, the location of Mehri's phone seemed to be close enough, for that to be exactly what had happened. It didn't appear to be on the train, but it was somewhere along the line, not far from the site, and back in the direction they would have been coming from.   
'No, look,' Liz suddenly broke the silence as she dropped her gaze momentarily back to the laptop. 'It's moving again.'  
'In the opposite direction,' Samar observed, her brow furrowed.   
'All the trains on the line were stopped when the crash happened, and then slowly moved back to previous stations for people to get off,' Liz spoke slowly again, carefully studying the map. 'What if they were on the train just after this one, and they got caught in the tunnel?' All four exchanged anxious glances, far too wary to be hopeful that they could possibly be so lucky... And yet, without one, single word exchanged between them, the decision was made.

Without wasting a second longer, they darted back up the remains of the stairs, discreetly back past the officer who had let them under the yellow tape, and back out onto the street.

/*/*/*/*

The atmosphere at the next station down the line was tense; hoards of people bustled across the platform and spilled out onto the street, all bearing identical expressions of confusion and annoyance at having their train sent back up the line without being told why. Regardless, Samar, Liz, Ressler, and Aram ignored them all, save for pushing through them in the opposite direction, and searching the crowd.

Their hearts felt like they were about to thump straight out of their chests.

And then the faint sound of familiar voices caught Liz's attention.

She turned, brow furrowed, and almost wondering if she was simply imagining the sound...  
' _Guys_ ,' came Samar's voice, echoing in Liz's and confirming instantly what she too, had heard. Liz turned again, almost disorientated by the spiralling in the crowd, and saw where Samar was pointing; 'there.' Right at the back of the crowd, with Naveed's larger stature the only thing to really make any of them even barely visible, all four were there. Mehri stuck close to his side, clearly nervous about being lost in the pushing and shoving of the crowd, with Leila in her arms and Sammy in Naveed's.   
'Thank God,' Ressler's voice muttered softly behind Samar and Liz.

All four charged forwards, still trying to push their way in the opposite direction through the frustrated crowd and all its elbows... But Aram pushed forwards beyond all of them.  

' _Mom_ ,' he called through the crowd, and somehow managing to catch Mehri's attention just before throwing his arms around her, ' _Dad._ ' Mehri stared up at him in total confusion as he reached them –Samar, Liz and Ressler, just a couple of steps behind.  
'Honey, what's going on?' She asked curiously.

For a moment, the question went unanswered. Samar lurched straight forwards to take Leila from her arms, clutching the little girl close to her chest and burying her face in those soft mahogany curls. Beside her, Liz took Sammy from Naveed and did exactly the same thing.  

'Hey, ladybug,' Samar murmured in Leila's ear. The feeling was almost overwhelming; going from the fear that her little girl may have just been taken from her forever, to suddenly having her back on her arms again... It almost didn't feel real. Leila remained blissfully unaware, nuzzling quite contently into Samar's shoulder at the impromptu cuddle. Aram and Ressler circled around all of them, tousling pigtails and gently rubbing backs until they were both completely satisfied that both little ones were unscathed.   
'Oh, they're ok,' Aram breathed, craning his head over Samar's shoulder to press a relieved kiss to Leila's forehead.  
'They were starting to grumble because we were stuck in the tunnel for a while before the train was diverted,' Mehri spoke up again, raising an eyebrow in her continued confusion, 'but otherwise they're fine... I was trying to call you to ask if you knew what was going on with the train but we were stuck in the tunnel so there was no cell servic-'   
'-Why wouldn't they be ok?' Naveed gently cut her off, getting straight to the point. Samar, Liz, Aram, and Ressler, swapped cautious glances.

'The train driver didn't say anything over the announcement system?' Ressler asked warily. That figured; alarming every passenger on every other train on the line by telling them what had happened to serve no other purpose than to incite panic, making the wait in the tunnel before the train could move back in the opposite direction almost unbearable.   
'Just that there was an incident further up the line, and that the line was blocked.' Naveed shifted his gaze, shaking his head and letting out a small sigh of exasperation at Mehri. 'You know, if we hadn't missed that train, we might have actually got to the museu-'  
'-No,' Samar quickly interjected. 'You wouldn't have.'  
'You _missed_ the train?' Aram asked, in such bewilderment at the concept that he practically spoke _over_ Samar. Naveed simply offered a good natured eye roll.  
'Your mother didn't realise until we were just about to leave our building that she forgot her glasses, so we had to double back and get them, then catch the _next_ train,' he muttered drolly.  
'Samar, what's going on?' Mehri asked, completely ignoring the side conversation between her husband and son. Samar paused awkwardly before responding, wondering how best to delicately explain the situation.   
'The train ahead of yours crashed,' she began carefully. Mehri and Naveed both furrowed their brows, both of their attention now firmly on Samar.  
'How bad?' Mehri's equally cautious question rang with concern, but still didn't seem to quite grasp the sheer significance of what had happened.  
'Six injured...' Liz spoke up, her voice shaking slightly before she trailed off again. Sammy babbled happily to herself in Liz's arms, completely oblivious to the conversation happening around her.   
'On a full train?' Naveed asked, almost disbelievingly. His eyes widened, almost as if mildly impressed; a full train crashing and leaving only six injured didn't seem so bad. Samar took a breath, swapping brief glances with the rest of the team before responding quietly;  
'Everyone else is dead.'  

'Oh,' Mehri gasped, covering her mouth with one hand in shock, while instinctively grasping Naveed's arm with the other. Naveed wrapped his arm around her and held her as close as he could, his face contorting with an expression of devastates horror as the realisation sunk in for both of them. 'And... You thought we were all on that train?' Then it was Aram's turn to give an unsettled nod, as they all awkwardly pretended not to hear what sounded like a rapid series of profound apologies that Naveed was murmuring in Mehri's ear for being annoyed at her glasses, and Mehri offering nothing in response besides a soft smile and a gentle, reassuring squeeze of his hand that said plenty all in itself. Finally, she disentangled herself from him, lurching quickly forwards to wrap herself around Aram and Samar still holding Leila between them. 'I'm so sorry, honey,' she mumbled into Aram's arm. Aram could only wind his own arm around her, pulling her closer into the tiny group as he replied;   
'We're just glad you're all ok.'

/*/*/*/*

Samar awoke with a gasp that echoed in the otherwise silent bedroom. She sat up in her bed, curling her knees up into her chest and resting her head on them for a moment, catching her breath. Finding Mehri, Naveed, Leila, and Sammy all in one piece at the next station should have been all there was to it but of course, in looking for them the team had walked out of the war room mid-case and then used their badges for a personal agenda... And when they returned, Cooper was ready and waiting for them, notably unimpressed. All in a row they stood, there in his office like a line of lost ducks, but instead of their heads being bowed in defeat, they were all raised, staring forwards in defiance and solidarity with one another as Cooper explained their long list of transgressions. Even Aram didn't falter or allow the fear of repercussions get to him –after the potential scenario they had been faced with earlier in the day, he was just all too glad that his family was ok.  

The consequence they all had to face was a week of suspension from duty, once their current case was closed...

...But even Cooper had to pause and ensure that Mehri, Naveed and the kids were all unhurt, after delivering that verdict. He too, could understand the fear that had sent them running, but he still had to do his job.

After _that_ , it should have been the end of things, but the unsettled, shaken feeling from the crash site had followed them all the way home, even haunting them in their dreams. 

With a frustrated shake of her head, Samar swung her legs around to the edge of the bed, before ducking quietly out of the room as she always had to do after a nightmare... To check on Leila. It took all of two seconds to take those few steps down the hallway to Leila's doorway, and so Samar stood there, staring into the semi-darkness. Leila was sleeping peacefully, half on her back and half on her side, twisted just enough to have somehow wrapped one leg around Mr Spikes in yet another attempt to strangle the poor, green dinosaur in her slumber. It was just enough to shake Samar from her mind's anxious wanderings as she stood there watching the steady rise and fall of her daughter's chest, and even to make her crack a tiny smile.  

And then those tiny, bright blue beacons flashed from under the crib.

'Bandit,' Samar hissed, trying to sound authoritative without waking the sleeping toddler. 'Get out from under there.' It seemed the ginger furball was curled up under there, having wedged himself all the way to the back of the cave that was the space under the crib, as he usually did with the space under Aram's desk. The two blue beacons flickered as Bandit blinked in response, but otherwise didn't move an inch. Samar shook her head once more; it was far too late at night for her to be bothered arguing with the cat. 'Fine,' she sighed. 'Just... Join Mr Spikes' protective detail and keep an eye on Leila then, ok?' The flash of blue blinked again, and Samar decided to take that as agreement to the plan. Or at least, she was definitely too tired to do anything else.  

She took one last glance at Leila sleeping contently, before darting back out of the room as quickly as she had entered, and returning to her own bed.

Aram rolled over and grumbled in his sleep, reaching out for her at the sudden movement of Samar climbing back into bed.

'Ssshh,' Samar murmured gently to him, 'go back to sleep.'  
'Samar?' Aram mumbled back, a tiny frown knotting his brow as his brain fought to wake him.  
'No, no' Samar tried hurriedly to whisper back, 'go back to-' Aram's eyes flickered open, staring back at her in a sleepy daze.  
'You ok?'  
'I'm fine.'  
'Nightmare?' Aram's single word was all it took for Samar to let out a grimace.   
'Yeah,' she said softly back, her voice tinged with frustration at herself. Aram reached across the pillows, running his fingertips gently through her messy curls.   
'Did you check on Leila?' A soft smile crept across Samar's face at the knowing question.  
'She's ok... Mr Spikes and Bandit are watching her.'  
'Bandit?' Aram raised a single, almost amused eyebrow. 'He's in her room and you didn't kick him out?'  
'I tried,' Samar grumbled back in mock-exasperation. She rolled onto her side, facing him properly. For all Aram's intent on focusing on her, he really didn't look much better. There were dark, tired rings around his eyes, and his hair was messed from rolling around in discomfort as he slept. Samar brushed her fingertips down his cheek; 'I'm not the only one who wasn't having the best night's sleep, am I?' She asked softly. Aram didn't have nightmares with anywhere near the same frequency that she did, but after the sort of stress they'd had that day, it wasn't abnormal at all for him to join her in having difficulty sleeping soundly.   
'I worry about Mom and Dad,' Aram sighed miserably.   
'I know...'  
'Today makes me wonder...' Aram shook his head worriedly against his pillow. 'They're in their seventies... One day they're not going to be around anymore.'  
'Hopefully that's still a while away,' Samar countered gently.  
'Mmm... But, I can't imagine one of them passing first and leaving the other behind. I can't figure out which way around would be worse; Mom mourning Dad, or Dad mourning Mom. They're just so dedicated to each other, I don't know if either one would cope.' Aram bit his lip, completely at a loss for which scenario would be worse.  
'Well, whenever that has to happen,' Samar murmured, 'we'll be there for them. _Both_ of us. Ok?' Despite the darkness, Samar could just see Aram's eyes crinkled.  
'Come here,' he whispered, outstretching his arms properly for her. Samar shifted quickly across the bed, curling into his side and resting her head against his shoulder where she could hear the faint sounds of his heartbeat in his chest. Aram wound his arms around her barely a second later, pulling her in close and nuzzling into her hair. That smell of her lavender shampoo filled his nostrils and he breathed deeply, closing his eyes as he took it all in.   
'Better?' Samar smiled softly into his shoulder.   
'Much,' came Aram's muffled voice from her hair. 'You?' Samar closed her eyes again, nuzzling just that little bit further into his shoulder as she responded;   
'Definitely.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, 'Suspension'.


	86. Suspension

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Friday, February 2, 2018
> 
> Another two chapter update this week, both of which are short and fluffy after that angst last week. I'm trying to catch up to where I'm writing far too many chapters ahead!
> 
> Visual reference for Samar's dress is at the end.

'How am I supposed to cope with this boredom?' Samar sighed wistfully. The last weekday of their one week's suspension after closing the case they had been working on at the time of the Metro crash, and Samar was stir-crazy. Aram had suggested taking a stroll and going window shopping –which they were now doing- but that didn't stop Samar from flashing vividly back to the frustrations of her maternity leave.   
'You're supposed to enjoy a week with nobody shooting at you,' Aram chuckled from beside her. He, by contrast, seemed to be thoroughly enjoying the week away from the war room and all the gory case details, as they pushed Leila along in her stroller.   
'Well, yes.' Samar shot him a look of mild exasperation, ' _that's_ definitely a nice change... But I think an entire week's suspension would be nicer during a season where we're not rained on every time we try to leave the apartment, don't you?' She shifted her attention for a moment to glare up at the dark rain clouds above their heads that hadn't dared to spill yet that day, but otherwise still lingered threateningly. A rainy weekend spent huddled indoors was peaceful and enjoyable, but any longer than those two or three days and for her, the novelty quickly wore off. Aram simply chuckled to himself again, rubbing her back with his thumb where his arm sat draped loosely around her waist. He dotted an affectionate kiss to her cheek then paused, glancing over her shoulder at the display windows for the clothing store they were ambling past.

'Hey, can we look in here for a minute?' Aram asked thoughtfully, 'I still need to get a couple of new shirts.' Samar nodded her agreement, pushing Leila's stroller through the doorway into the store as Aram held the door open for them. He wandered along the walkway down the centre of the store, past all the various displays, all the way towards the menswear section at the end. He hummed under his breath to the corny store music, and screwed up his face in contemplation as he debated internally over two separate shirts and potentially buying another purple tie. It took a couple of minutes before Aram noticed the sudden silence of Samar no longer lurking behind him and offering her thoughts and suggestions over Leila's babbling absentmindedly to both of them. Making his final decision, taking the purple tie from the display shelf and draping it over his arm with the two new shirts, Aram glanced around the store searching for Samar and Leila. A soft smile crossed his face as he spotted them, just a few feet away, partly hidden from view by the display Samar was looking at.  

A dress had caught her eye.  

'That's pretty,' Aram observed, giving an approving nod as he scuttled over and peeked over her shoulder at it. It was a navy blue maxi dress, with a relatively straight cut skirt, wide shoulder straps that criss-crossed at the back, and a large floral print in pink, orange, and green. Samar tilted her head as she eyed it up and down, deep in thought, and almost longingly.  
'You think?' She murmured back. One hand reached out to toy with the soft fabric, running it through her fingertips.   
'Yeah, I like it,' Aram quipped, nodding quickly again. 'It would suit you, too.' He paused, suddenly doubting himself at the sight of the curious expression on her face. '...I think.' Samar was never one to linger over clothes in a store like he did; normally, she knew straight away whether she liked something or not, confidently making her decision and taking any impending purchases straight to the counter without hesitation or the need to browse amongst the crowds. But then again, she also tended to favour anything but dresses. The few in her wardrobe –besides that made by her mother- were reserved almost exclusively for undercover operations. Off the clock, Aram had almost never seen her in day wear that didn't involve either trousers, jeans, or shorts.  

A wry smile began to cross her face, and Samar glanced back over her shoulder at him with one eyebrow raised.  

'Slight problem though,' Samar mused. 'Where would I put my gun?' Aram blinked, furrowing his brow in confusion.   
'Where do you normally put it if you have to wear a dress undercover or something?'  
'Not somewhere comfortable, that's for sure.' Samar grimaced at the very idea; technically, she was supposed to carry her weapon wherever she went. Even now, during their week's suspension, it still sat on her hip, but hidden from the view of any wary, public eyes by her coat. The hip holster that clipped onto her belt was by far the most comfortable. The thigh holster that she had to wear with dresses however, was the exact opposite... _And_ it relied on any longer dresses having a thigh split for easier weapon access –which the dress in front of her currently did not have. In short, it made wearing dresses an absolute pain, no matter how Samar felt about them otherwise.  

'...If we were just out for dinner or something, could you put your gun in your purse?' Aram asked, eyeing the dress again. It really was lovely, and if the look on Samar's face was supposed to be any indication, she was struggling with the internal debate of longing versus practicality and reality.   
'Maybe,' she muttered absent-mindedly back. Having her weapon in her purse was possible, but not always the most practical, nor the easiest to reach if such a situation arose where she needed it in a hurry - _and_ it was far too easy for it to be stolen. Aram screwed up his face, quickly thinking it over.  
'Or you could just wear it at home,' he suggested cautiously, 'it looks comfortable for Summer.' Samar turned on the spot, shooting him a smirk of mock suspicion.   
'Are you just trying to find excuses so I can have the pretty dress?' She asked drolly.   
'Of course not.' Aram shifted awkwardly on the spot, his sheepish grin quickly giving away that the reverse was indeed true. 'Though...' He added, 'why don't you try it on anyway?' Samar gave a sigh, Aram's encouragement over the dress doing little to help the more practical voice in her head combat the longing as it usually did. Finally, she relented, rifling through the hangars on the rack and quickly taking a dress in her size, and turning towards the fitting rooms. Aram took control of the stroller, pushing it along after her. With dress in hand and a look of mock exasperation, Samar disappeared behind the curtain of one of the cubicles, just as Aram steered the stroller towards the end of one of the benches, parked it there, and then sat down beside it with Leila on his knee while they waited.

He broke into a wide grin when Samar finally re-emerged, a tiny smile of her own beginning to cross her face as the dress swished about her legs.

'Ok, if you don't buy that...' Aram trailed off, shaking his head in disbelief.   
'You will?' Samar quizzically finished for him. She smirked teasingly again; 'funny, I don't think it would look as good on you.' Aram rolled his eyes in exasperation, ignoring her comment to murmur in Leila's ear instead;  
'Your mama thinks she's hilarious, you know that?' The little girl bouncing herself happily on his knee simply chortled in response.   
'And what does baba think?' Samar chuckled.   
'Besides the fact that you're so stubborn, it's painful sometimes?'  
'It hasn't killed you yet.'  
'You look beautiful,' Aram observed, nodding earnestly as Samar turned on the spot to look the dress up and down approvingly in the mirror instead. It was another second later before Samar's wording properly sunk in, and Aram's smile faltered in favour of mock suspicion once more; 'wait, _yet?'_ Though Aram could only see it if he glanced sideways just enough to look in the mirror around her, Samar's lip twitched with a hint of amusement.   
'You keep telling me I’m going to be the death of you one day,' she drolly pointed out.   
'Oh boy.' Aram gave a small sigh and raised his eyes to the ceiling, shaking his head before leaning in to whisper in Leila's ear again; 'she's on a roll today, kiddo.' Leila instantly let out a cackle, her little arms reaching out for her mother instead. 'Oh, you think that's funny, do you?' Aram chuckled, gently tickling the little girl's sides.   
'See?' Samar grinned, leaning forwards to tousle Leila's curly pigtails and dot an affectionate kiss to her forehead. ' _She_ agrees that I'm hilarious.' With another teasing waggle of her eyebrows, Samar disappeared once again behind the curtain to change back into her own clothes.  
'You're going to buy that,' Aram commented, at the sound of her unzipping the back of the dress.   
'And wear it when and where?' Samar's voice trailed back to him through the curtain. Her practical side was fighting the longing, and winning too. Aram screwed up his face, unable to think up any kind of definite answer.       
'I don't know,' he reluctantly relented, 'you'll find an occasion at some point... But sometimes you just have to treat yourself.' There was a momentary silence, where Samar pulled back on the last of her clothes before opening the curtain again, dress now hung over her arm. She shot Aram a small smile as she finally replied, re-emerging from the cubicle once more;   
'Ok.'

/*/*/*/*

The dress hung in the front of the wardrobe that evening. Samar gazed contently at the snippet of that soft, floral fabric that she could see past the half-ajar wardrobe door as she laid back on the bed, stretching, yawning, and completely content. Aram's favourite MIT t-shirt was wrapped around her frame now, its soft, worn fabric easily one of the most comfortable things to rest in. Aram stepped out of the bathroom, back into the bedroom after brushing his teeth, smiling warmly at the sight of the shirt as he collapsed onto the bed beside her. He rolled onto his front and shuffled just sideways enough to reach her, and press a quick kiss to her lips.   
'We need some us time,' he murmured softly as he pulled away just enough to speak, but otherwise remained leaning over her. Samar stared up at him, quite comfortable laying there between his arms, and one wry eyebrow quirked up.   
'Do we now?' She asked, with a smirk.   
'Mmhmmm,' Aram hummed in response. He leaned in again, nuzzling soft kisses to her neck until Samar sighed happily in response. 'Not a group outing, or a work thing, and certainly no drama... Just you, me and a certain munchkin, enjoying a nice, quiet day to ourselves. Like today, that was nice.'  

A blur of bright orange fluff flashed in their peripheral vision, and Aram pulled back again just enough to raise an unimpressed eyebrow at Bandit, having just jumped up onto the bed beside them and now standing right in the middle of Aram's side of the bed. The cat tilted his head ever so slightly sideways, as if to daringly ask if such a move could possibly be a problem.  

'What about the cat?' Samar chuckled, at the sight of Aram trying to stare the cat down. Bandit, however, didn't budge.   
'Depends where we end up.' Aram shrugged, still glaring at the furball who was now curling up in a ball to rest, still in the middle of Aram's space. 'Bandit, _off_ the bed,' he gently growled –a mix of trying to sound authoritative without scaring the ball of ginger fluff. Still, Bandit ignored him, and Aram shot Samar a pleading look; he loved the cat, but Bandit had made it quite clear who the master of the household was, and it certainly wasn't _him_. Samar was the only one who ever had the slightest hope of getting through to him.  
'Bandit.' Samar turned her head on her pillow, holding the cat's gaze at her in response to her stern tone. She paused, just long enough for the eye contact to make her point clear; 'you know you're not supposed be on the bed.' Bandit blinked, once, twice, those bright blue beacons flashing with each occasion, before something halfway between a soft growl and a sad mew erupted from his throat and he turned, slinking unimpressed across the bedcovers towards the end of the bed by Samar's feet. There, he curled up in a ball, resting his head upon his fuzzy paws in disgust, and now ignoring both of them.   
'He's still _on_ the bed,' Aram sighed, shaking his head.   
'At least he _moved_ , and you have your space back,' Samar chuckled back, 'and he only jumps up onto your side because he loves you, really.' Aram rolled his eyes at her lip twitching as she spoke, desperate to keep a straight face. 'Anyway,' she spoke again, 'back on topic. Our anniversary is coming up.'  
'Yep.' Aram nodded, grinning again in enthusiasm. 'That's what I was thinking.' Samar could only let out a wry smile.   
'Well, don't get too excited and plan anything,' she teased. Aram paused, narrowing his eyes in suspicion.   
'...What are you up to?' He asked slowly. Samar's wry smile only widened.   
'Nothing,' she chirped, as per usual failing at trying to sound innocent.   
'Samar,' Aram tried to prompt her, but Samar shook her head.   
' _Still_ nothing,' she grinned. Aram gave a sigh, knowing he was going to have to resort to desperate measures to force her to spill the beans. He gazed down at her still laying back half under him, breaking into a teasing grin of his own. Samar faltered for a split second at the grin, just long enough for Aram to start chuckling to himself before he pounced, targeting her sides where he knew she was most ticklish.   
' _Aram_ ,' Samar gasped, between breaths of laughter, 'I'm _not_... Going... To _tell_ you.' One foot kicked out involuntarily –her usual kneejerk reaction to being tickled- and though it didn't strike anything, Bandit jumped away out of the firing zone with a distinctly unhappy yelp before slinking away into the darkness of the hallway. Finally, Aram stopped, his eyes crinkling in gleeful victory.   
'Ahh, but there _is_ something to tell?' He observed. Samar rolled her eyes, but that didn't stop Aram from looking all too pleased with himself. 'I'll take that.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Following up on Chapter 47's 'One', next up we have 'Two'.
> 
> Samar's dress;  
> [](https://www.flickr.com/gp/152300685@N03/s53Nw6)


	87. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Friday - Sunday, February 9-11, 2018.
> 
> Here's the second of today's two chapters!

**_FRIDAY EVENING..._ **

'Ok, Samar,' Aram sighed, as she led him through the airport towards the self-serve kiosk to drop off their bags, ' _now_ are you going to tell me where we're going?' Samar broke into a wide grin, and handed over the pre-printed boarding passes that she had guarded so carefully right up until that moment. He had been bugging her all week about where they were going, knowing nothing else but the fact that they were flying somewhere on Friday evening after work, and returning on Sunday afternoon ready for work again on Monday. The questions had escalated further, the closer they got to the end of the day, and further still the closer they got to the airport.

Aram paused for a moment, eyeing her warily before taking the pieces of paper from her, unfolding them, and reading the first few lines as they walked.  

Within a second Aram glanced up again.

' _Minneapolis-Saint Paul?_ ' He burst out, staring back at her in utter disbelief. 'You're taking us to _Minnesota_ for our anniversary?'  
'Yep,' Samar chirped simply in response. She gestured at the kiosk now in front of her, to prompt Aram to set his bag down first. He did so, still shaking his head, as he quickly followed all the prompts on the little touchscreen to print off the tag and stick it around his bag handle. Samar followed suit as soon as his bag disappeared down the conveyor belt and his hands were free to take Leila from her. 'What's wrong with Minnesota?' She asked, still trying –and _failing_ \- to look back at him in absolute innocence. Aram hesitated before responding.  
'Well, _nothing_ , I guess,' he said, furrowing his brow in confusion, 'it's just not the place I would have expected you to pick.'  
'I see,' Samar tried desperately to keep a straight face, as they turned to head onwards towards security. 'So, the name of the destination airport was not a satisfactory response to your question?' Aram raised his eyes to the ceiling and shook his head yet again in exasperation.  
'Well, if it was _Orlando_ or something,' he began, 'that would have been enough, because then I'd assume you had passes to Disneyland... But Minnesota?'  
'You keep saying that like it's the worst state in the country.' Samar held back a laugh at the instant look of indignation on his face. ' _You're_ the one who suggested somewhere quiet and drama free.'   
'Minnesota is _not_ what I meant,' Aram muttered back. Samar grinned rather than responding, keeping in step with him as they both strode across the terminal. Aram wracked his brain, trying to think what could possibly be in Minnesota that had led to Samar choosing such a place. It was a beautiful enough state for sure, but the mere scenery didn't scream romantic anniversary weekend getaway –at least, not to Aram anyway.  

And then a look of instant realisation crossed his face.

'We're not just _connecting_ there to somewhere else, are we?' He asked curiously, 'is there another set of boarding passes? Are we going to Canada?'  
'Leila doesn't have a passport, remember?' Samar mused, shaking her head and ticking off on her fingers each answer to his rapid-fire questions; 'and she doesn't have any other photo identification to cross the border either, because last I checked she wasn't old enough to learn how to drive. Besides, if we were going to anywhere in Canada from Dulles, why would we connect in Minneapolis rather than flying direct?' She shot Aram a pointed look, almost too amused by how close yet how far he was from figuring it out. 'Though we _are_ connecting,' she added with a conspiratorial grin.  
'I _knew_ it,' Aram chuckled to himself in a moment of instant victory, 'where are we connecting to?'  
'Duluth,' Samar shot back, all too amused with herself. The victorious grin on Aram's face crumpled in a flash.  
'But...' He paused, thinking it over for a second, 'that's still Minnesota. It's just further out of the Twin Cities and closer to the forests... What are we going to do _there?_ '  
'You'll just have to wait and see,' Samar said, teasingly waggling her eyebrows. She nudged his elbow as the end of the security line came into view; 'don't forget to take off your shoes _before_ you get to the x-ray machine this time, or they'll tell you off again.'

/*/*/*/*

'Samar,' Aram sighed again as he stared out the window of the rental car they had picked up. It was dark now, Leila was sound asleep in her car seat in the back, and Aram was at a complete loss for where they were supposed to be going. 'Seriously. We are now out of the city... What is here that we're supposed to enjoy this weekend?' To be specific, they were now driving through, and quickly out of, a small town. The edge of the forest appeared to be not all that far away, as well as...  
'Snow,' Samar replied with a soft smile, gesturing out the window, 'lots, and lots of _snow_. Unlike DC this winter, where we had icy rain at best.' She rounded another corner, clearly knowing exactly where she was going, drove a little further down another twisted road, and finally pulled into a short driveway. Aram stared out of the window in amazement and disbelief, finally understanding the plan.  

'...You rented a cabin.' Aram pushed open the car door, jumped straight out of it, and stared up at the old, wooden cabin, the grin now etched wide across his face.   
'Mmhmmm,' Samar hummed back as she too, hopped out of the car. The cabin was one of a series dotted along that winding, twisting road that were available to rent for weekend getaways, all far enough away from the town not to be counted as technically part of it, but still close that a drive down for groceries or coffee would only take five to ten minutes. Trees were dotted all around, surrounded by huge mounds of fresh snow piled up all around the house that almost seemed to sparkle in the moonlight. The driveway however, was just as freshly cleared for their arrival.   
'For peace, and quiet, and _snow_ ,' Aram breathed again. All of a sudden it all made sense.   
'Yep,' Samar chuckled. Aram turned on the spot, shaking off the stunned amazement and lurching back towards Samar to help her with Leila and their bags. 'And snowmen, and snowball fights, and forts, and maybe sledding down that tiny hill if you think Leila's ready for it... And a nice fireplace we can curl up in front of in the evenings. I figured... Snow during Leila's first Christmas in Maine was fun, but she wasn't old enough to really understand it. Now she can actually jump around in it or at least _try_ to, anyway.' Samar paused, eyeing Leila tangled up in her arms, and then glancing awkwardly down at her jeans. '...And the keys are in my pocket.' Samar rolled her eyes at herself, for not thinking to pull them out before taking Leila from the car. Aram however, simply grinned, dotting an affectionate kiss to her cheek before tugging the keys out of her pocket. Together, they walked the few steps over to the front door to the cabin and Aram opened it.  
'You...' He began quietly, staring around the space; it was cosy, warm and inviting, resembling something of a stereotypical wintery, wooden cabin with the hand-crocheted blanket over the back of the couch, the wooden furniture that matched the walls, the thick rug, and the wide fireplace at the end of the room –the only exception to that rule of course, being a notable lack of stuffed animal heads hanging from the walls. The living room connected straight up to the kitchen, where the fridge was already stocked with the handful of groceries Samar had requested at the time of booking, and the two small bedrooms and one bathroom connected up at the opposite side of the living room where the wall was adorned with the three doors all in a row. '...Might actually be an evil genius.' It was just them; it was quiet, it was drama free, and the entire plan was focused on just the three of them spending that time together enjoying each other's company. Aram dropped the bags just inside the door, then turned back and gazed at Samar just standing there quietly with Leila in her arms. There was a soft smile on her face, her eyes crinkled happily at how pleased he was.   
'You know what?' Samar laughed, 'I'm going to take that as a compliment.'

Aram brushed that loose strand of hair back off her face, tucking it gently behind her ear, before leaning in around Leila asleep against her shoulder, and pressing an adoring kiss to her lips.  

'I love you,' he murmured happily.   
'Happy anniversary,' she whispered back.  

/*/*/*/*

**_SATURDAY..._ **

Dressed in toddler-sized, matching purple snow pants and quilted jacket, plus thick boots and a new fluffy hat knitted by Mehri, Leila waddled across the mounds of snow outside, that were just about as high as her waist. Every so often she stumbled over the soft surface, sinking straight down into it or landing flat on her face, but her delight was clear. Every landing came with an 'oomph' of stunned surprise before the little girl started rolling around in the snow, giggling in her attempts to push herself back up –just for that second before either Samar or Aram quickly picked her up again. From the moment they were all awake, dressed and ready with bellies full of breakfast, Samar and Aram took Leila outside to make the most of the daylight. First up, it was simply a matter of setting her on her feet in the snow and seeing how she reacted to the new surface and the thick layers she was dressed in, but once that was out of the way Aram was determined to move on to the next order of business; building a snowman. 

The process was deliberately slow, with Aram setting Leila in front of him, and his arms around her as they both moved forward, rolling each section of the snowman to size with Leila's mittened hands between his pushing the snowball forwards. Samar helped Leila lift the next two sections up onto the first, before lifting Leila herself all the way up to the top of the snowy figure so that Aram could help her set a spare hat atop the head.  

'Come on, Leila,' Samar prompted her, once the little girl was back down at her feet. 'Shall we find the snowman some arms?' Leila scrambled forwards across the snow, Samar and Aram both quickly setting her back on her feet every time she tumbled over. They followed her all around the snowman's immediate vicinity, pointing out various stick options for the arms, but ultimately allowing Leila to pick her own –not that they could figure out any rhyme or reason to her choices. Leila screwed up her face at all of the first three suggestions and continuing to waddle around the bottom of the trees. Finally, she stopped, crouching down to pluck a stick from the ground and holding it up for Aram to see. Aram and Samar swapped clueless, amused glances, neither having any idea as to why that particular twig took Leila's fancy, but deciding just to roll with it. Samar lifted Leila up again, while Aram helped her poke the stick into the snowman's side –much to the little girl's amusement.  
'Ok, that's one arm sorted,' Aram chuckled, eyeing the snowman up and down and nodding approvingly. He glanced at Leila still in Samar's arms, and pulled a silly face; 'Leila, can we find another one?' Leila simply chortled in response. Samar set her down again, and off she charged, choosing a stick that was _completely_ different from the first in size. Nonetheless, into the snowman it went, no matter how lopsided it then looked.

The stick arms were followed by rocks for the snowman's face and buttons.

The snowman was followed by another snowman, much to Leila's delight, and then a snow caterpillar –a series of snowballs lined up along the ground in a serpentine fashion, with more twigs for antennae at one end.              

'Hey,' Aram began, his eyes suddenly crinkling with the glee of a new idea, as he stared approvingly at their growing army of snow creatures, 'do you think we could build a snow T-Rex?' Samar did a double take, her brow furrowing in thought; having not grown up with snow, she had far less practice at building things with it.  
'That might be slightly ambitious,' she countered gently, 'how would you make it stand? Wouldn't its body fall down between its legs?' But Aram's grin only widened.  
'Not necessarily,' he quipped, 'not if we build it like a snowman, with extra snow shapes stuck to the bottom for its legs like it's sitting down. We could have the twigs pointed forwards instead of sideways, like tiny T-Rex arms, then we just have to make the head kind of oval shaped instead of round, and give it a tail along the ground behind it.' Aram charged forwards in enthusiasm before he even finished his rambling, already scooping up Leila and guiding her in rolling the first snowball to size for the dinosaur's body.  

/*/*/*/*

Even Samar had to admit, once the T-Rex was finished, it wasn't bad at all. Aram had even managed to find two matching twigs that forked at one end for the dinosaur's arms and claws, and then used the end of yet another twig to draw some ferociously sharp looking teeth on its snowy face. The tail curved around too, just wide enough to create a perfectly Leila-sized sitting space alongside the dinosaur. Aram was all too pleased with himself as he stood back, admiring his handiwork for a moment, and Samar couldn't help but laugh.

'Watch this,' Aram began, his eyes lighting up with glee as the idea occurred to him, and he turned to face Samar. Samar raised a curious eyebrow; Aram gently turned Leila around where she stood, so that she stood directly in front of it, gazing at the T-Rex face to face. 'Hey Leila,' he muttered softly in her ear, 'what do we say to dinosaurs?' Leila's eyes widened with delight, her hands lifted and curled, making little claws, and she tilted her head back ever so slightly.  
'Raaaaaaaarrrrrr,' the little girl roared up at the snowy creature, cackling all the while.   
'Really?' Samar bit her lip in the attempt to stop herself from laughing, but still couldn't stop a snort from escaping past the hand she ended up clasping over her mouth. 'When you said you were going to teach her to do that every time one of us says the word dinosau-'  
'-Raaaarrrr-' Leila interjected, roaring and cackling again.  
'-I thought you were joking,' Samar finished over her.   
'So did I,' Aram said, shrugging and trying to hold back his own laughter too. 'I didn't think she'd actually do it.' They held each other's gaze for a moment, both of them curious to see if Leila would continue.   
'Dinosau-' Samar said again, quieter this time. But, no sooner had the word escaped her mouth, than Leila giggled up at the snowy T-Rex yet again.  
'-Raaaaaarrrrrrr.'  
'We might have to start being specific about what kind of dinosa-' Samar began.  
'-Raaaarrrrrrrrr-'  
'-Rather than using the word dinos-' she tried to finish, and then gave up.   
'- _Raaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrr_ -'

Samar raised a single, wry eyebrow, shifting her gaze back to Aram in both amusement and the instant, shared realisation that the novelty of the roaring was going to wear off _way_ too quickly. Leila meanwhile, giggled so madly that she toppled backwards, landing with an 'oomph' on the pile of soft snow. Aram plucked her back up off the ground in a flash, offering Samar a guilty, sheepish grin.   
'Whoops?'

/*/*/*/*

**_SATURDAY EVENING..._ **

Dinosaur dilemmas made way for makeshift sledding; with Aram settling himself down on a plank at the top of snowy hill that was barely three feet high, and holding Leila carefully on his knees. Samar gave them a gentle push, sending the plank sliding at a pace that could barely compete with that of a tortoise... But it was still fast enough for Leila to squeal with glee for the entire, _short_ slide down. Samar and Aram took turns pushing and sliding, until Aram announced that it would a great idea for Samar to go down the hill by herself so she could try sliding a little faster... All the while he sneakily guided Leila towards his secret stash of snowballs.

Both of them were armed and ready by the time Samar hurried back up the hill, completely unaware of the fact she was about to be pelted.  

Needless to say, _that_ was followed by an intense battle that required the building of forts around all the snow creatures built earlier.  

By the time the evening rolled around, they were all tired –albeit pleasantly so. Leila curled up in her crib without a single utterance of complaint, and was sound asleep barely minutes later. Samar and Aram shared their own private, peaceful moments together after that, with a simple –but no less delicious- dinner, and sharing ice cream together curled up on the couch. When Samar finally stepped out of the shower after that –both of them getting ready for bed, and to start the entire round of snowy shenanigans all over again the next day- she was utterly content. She was warm and wrapped in a thick, fluffy towel, and her freshly washed hair smelled not of the lavender scented shampoo, but of the fruity one she used when feeling happy. She shot Aram a mischievous grin when he stepped into the bathroom, ready for his own shower, slipping her arms straight over his shoulders and leaning in to kiss him deeply. His eyes widened in surprise for a second, but he certainly didn’t complain; instead his arms wrapped around her waist, gladly pulling her in closer.

'Pity you already had your shower, otherwise I'd suggest you should join me,' Aram softly muttered in her ear. Between the smell of that fruity shampoo, the warm steam from her shower still swirling through the air around them, and the sight of her in front of him in nothing but a towel and with a teasing smile, Aram’s eyes couldn’t help but crinkle with the same mischief as her grin. She was already toying gently with the buttons on his shirt, popping them open one by one whilst still nestled in his arms.   
'Well,’ she mused, her gaze focused not on meeting his, but instead on progressing steadily down his shirt and pushing it back off his shoulders. ‘If you're going to be in there anyway, me jumping in again with you doesn't exactly waste any water...' She shifted her glance back up at him, waggling her eyebrows while her fingertips moved on to tugging at the section of her towel that was tucked into itself. In a second, it fell loose, landing straight at her feet.   
'You know, I like the way you think sometimes,' Aram observed, nodding his agreement.   
'Only sometimes?’ Samar raised a wry eyebrow. ‘Oh, buddy... Quit while you're ahead.' Aram rolled his eyes in amused exasperation.   
'Have I mentioned that you're going to be the death of me one day?' He sighed, albeit only jokingly. Samar stepped backwards, turning to head back towards the shower that had been behind her but she paused just before stepping into it, shooting Aram another teasing glance over her shoulder.  
'Better question; how many times have I suggested that you test that hypothesis?' Aram raised his eyes to the ceiling at the sound of her deadpan tone over the water beginning to run once again.  
'What if I don't feel like dying any time soon?' The shower curtain pulled sideways again, just enough for Samar to peer back out at him and shake her head in amused disbelief at his still half-dressed state.   
'Are you getting in this shower with me or not?' She laughed.  
'Huh?’ Aram followed her gaze, glancing downwards at his jeans that most definitely had _not_ yet joined his shirt on the floor, before shifting his gaze straight back up again and offering a sheepish grin. ‘Oh, right.'

He let out a happy sigh as he finally joined her, winding his arms around her waist yet again and enjoying the sensation of the hot water running over both of them. How on earth two years had passed already, when it felt like time had _flown_ past them, Aram didn't know... But as he held Samar close and eagerly pressed a line of kisses all the way from her jaw, down her neck and along her collarbone, he also didn't need to know. He knew that they had plenty more anniversaries ahead of them, and that those first two were just the beginning... And that was all that mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, after much internal debate as to whether to do this or not, we have 'Mina'.
> 
> And because I'm awful; here, have a screenshot from some of my notes! The black text is chapters I've written, the blue is everything in varying stages of writing and/or planning. For some reason 'Epilogue' is in blue even though I wrote that way back at the start, but oh well :P  
> [](https://www.flickr.com/gp/152300685@N03/S2p491)


	88. Mina

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Tuesday-Wednesday, February 27-28, 2018.
> 
> Yep, after much internal debate, little Mina is now in this story too. If you've read my 'Mina Chronicles' one shots, you might be familiar with the premise already, so apologies for a smidge of repetition here. When I originally thought of the idea of Samar potentially having a niece, I had wanted to add it to this story straight away, but then I figured that both having Leila and taking in Mina might but a little much for Samar... So Mina got her own story for me to explore that particular idea. Now that's sorted, I can finally bring her into this story -with a similar premise, but different circumstances. She's still the same clever, little munchkin who loves purple and hates crowds, but she's just a year older (because timelines) and she's not an orphan this time round. 
> 
> Updated family tree at the end. Happy reading! :)

**_TUESDAY MORNING..._ **

'What's on your mind?' Aram's curious voice jolted Samar from her mind's contemplative wanderings. She stood in the hallway in their apartment, staring thoughtfully at the collage of photo frames scattered along the wall. She was supposed to be sorting out her pre-packed overnight bag ready to leave in a few hours rather than going with him to the Post Office –Mossad had called barely an hour earlier, ordering her away just for the night- but the images of their family and friends had caught her eye unexpectedly in passing... Or more specifically, it was the image of herself and her brother barely out of toddlerhood, being held by her parents. Samar glanced sideways, offering a small reassuring smile in response to the glimpse of concern beginning to cross Aram's face.  

'Nothing much,' she murmured, trying to shake the idea away from her mind. But, Aram wasn't fooled. He took those few more steps towards her, glancing curiously at the photo in front of her in turn, before raising a single, questioning eyebrow; asking his original question one more. Samar gave a small sigh; there was little she could get past him these days. 'The only family I have is you and Leila...' She finally relented; 'it's nice, but sometimes I wish I still had more than that, like you have your parents.' Samar shook her head, trying to convince herself that it was silly to think like that when there was nothing she could do to change the past, and that she would be happier if she just focused on the family she had now... The family she loved, but had never expected to have. Regardless, Aram began to shift uncomfortably on his feet where he stood, biting his lip in response to her words. Samar narrowed her eyes curiously. 'What?' She asked slowly.   
'...You know how Shaw played on the idea that I had accessed enemy government servers?' Aram began warily. Samar's eyes went wide, her jaw suddenly clenching in suspicion and disbelief.   
'You _didn't_ ,' she breathed. Her voice rose ever so slightly, and she stared back at him, hoping that he wasn't bringing up Shaw all over again in response to her family photo, for the reason she thought he was. 'Aram, you did _not_ look into my family and then _sit_ on whatever you found, for _months_ -'  
'-No, no, no, not _that_ ,' Aram quickly interjected. 'I _wouldn't_ do that,' he added, to emphasize his point. 'I looked into my _parents'_ families...' Samar faltered, the momentary flash of hurt and betrayal vanishing in an instant in favour of confusion and curiosity.   
'Why?'   
'Because they haven't been able to reach the families they left behind in decades, and I know they miss them like you miss yours.' Aram shrugged, gesturing at phone of the photos of his own family on the wall; one of his parents and grandparents, with a handful of his aunts, uncles and cousins too. 'I was hoping that maybe I'd be able to find some of them, and put them back in touch.' The expression on Samar's face softened, and she leaned into his side. Aram's arm slipped around her back, both of them now staring at that photo on the wall.   
'Did you find anything?' She asked quietly. There was the tiniest hint of hope in her tone, no matter the fact that finding Aram's distant relatives did little to ease her curiosity about her own.   
'Not much,' Aram sighed, and shook his head in frustration. 'Everyone has moved around a lot since then and records there aren't always the easiest to track down, but I did find that one of Mom's sisters moved to London a few years after Mom and Dad left.' Samar raised a single, wary eyebrow.   
'...And you didn't _tell_ your mother this?'

Aram shifted uncomfortably on his feet again.  

'No...' He began warily, 'because then Shaw happened before I could actually figure out where my aunt went after she arrived in London, and find contact details.' Aram let out a sigh, almost annoyed at himself more than anything else; 'and I've been nervous to look back into it ever since. But...' He paused, glancing cautiously at Samar, 'if you want, I guess I could look into your family and see if I can find someone. You had aunts, and uncles and cousins, didn't you?'  
'Aram...' Samar trailed off, shaking her head miserably. 'Even just logistically speaking, it would be hard to contact them now after all this time.' She bit her lip, letting out a frustrated sigh of her own. 'Not to mention, I committed _treason_ when I defected to Israel. I left them, and they're supposed to treat me as if I’m in _exile_ now. If any of my cousins back home were found to be communicating with me after that, they could be executed. I can't do that to them, no matter how much I miss them.' No matter how much Samar hated the situation, even she knew; unfortunately, that was the path she had chosen to take. Those were the consequences she had known would happen when she made the decision to leave, and now that was how it had to be.   
'What if one of them left? What if one of them is somewhere else now where it's safer to talk to them,' Aram tried to reason with her; 'I could at least _look,_ Samar. If you miss them this much, it wouldn't hurt to try.' Samar hesitated before responding; she had spent years making peace with the decision she had made, and trying not to allow herself to fall back down that agonising rabbit hole of wondering. It was just so much easier to have that clean break from everything, without being constantly tormented by attachments she could never keep... Only now, she was curious all over again but at the same time, Aram's investigative skills –as good as they were- were not without consequence. No matter how many extra layers he had added to his computer security in recent weeks to hide his tracks even better than before, the entire debacle with Shaw had proved that he could never be too careful with anything he was looking into.  

Samar stared back at him as she made her decision, stubbornly holding his gaze.  

'Only if you're _sure_ you won't get caught,' she agreed, albeit cautiously. Aram took one last, fleeting look at the pictures on the wall, before giving her hand a reassuring squeeze as he responded;  
'I won't.'

/*/*/*/*

Samar couldn't watch while Aram set up his laptop and began to search. She couldn't watch while the technical gibberish she didn't understand flashed back and forth across his screen. She unpacked and repacked her go bag ready for later that afternoon. She took complete charge of getting Leila ready for the day, rather than her and Aram's usual team effort. That way, Aram had more time to search before work, and Samar had well, _anything_ really, to distract herself from pacing back and forth across the living room, anxiously waiting to see what he might turn up... If anything at all.  

'Hey, Samar...' Aram finally spoke up again, urgently calling her back into the living room after what felt like an eternity. 'You need to see this.' Samar dashed straight back into the room, not uttering a word until she leaned against the back of the couch, peering over his shoulder at the screen.   
'You found one of my cousins?' She asked, brow furrowed curiously. Her stomach felt like it was about to start doing somersaults at the idea that she even had a _chance_ at finding out anything about the family she had left behind after all these years.   
'No, they're all still in Iran as far as I can tell,' Aram murmured, his gaze still concentrating on staring at the screen. 'But I found _this_.' Two clicks of the mouse, and image from what appeared to be some kind of government dossier popped up on screen.   
'Zahra?' Samar asked curiously. Her brow furrowed with even more intense confusion. She shot Aram a questioning look, not really sure what to make of such a finding. 'The girl my brother had his eye on before he faked his death in Pishin?'  
'No, _look_.' Aram pointed to the text under the photo, lower down on the screen. 'He _married_ her.'

Just like that, Samar's heart felt like it was plummeting straight down, deep into her gut. The marriage certificate in Farsi Aram could only understand half of –but Samar could understand _all_ of- appeared next on screen... And it was dated just a few months after the explosion that she had first thought killed her brother all those years earlier.  

'She knew he was alive... She knew it the whole time...' Samar's gasp was almost inaudible as she tried to process the very idea. Her entire body weight leaned heavily on the couch now; for a moment it felt like revelations about Shahin were never going to stop haunting her, no matter the fact she knew for sure he was gone now.   
'There's more,' Aram added quietly. With a few more clicks of his mouse, the marriage certificate vanished from the screen, replaced by three other document scans; what appeared to be two sets of passports and visa applications... And a birth certificate, dated 2010.   
'Shahin had a _child?'_   Samar shook her head. She didn't want to believe it. No, she _couldn't_ believe it. It made no sense to her at all that the man her brother had become, could possibly have had a family of his own. It just didn't seem real. It didn't even seem _possible_.  

But then again, it did make sense of the odd, regretful and wistful expression that had crossed Shahin's face when he heard about Leila... Barely minutes before Reddington had pulled the trigger.  

'Samar,' Aram spoke again, softer this time. He shifted in his seat, turning just enough to face her leaning over the couch behind him; 'they're here in the States, looking for _you_.'  

File after file, interview transcript after interview transcript; Aram went through everything. Zahra and her little girl –Mina, her name was- who was born just two months before little Shahin, had fled to the States and settled not far from them, just outside DC. Endless reports attached to their files from the Department of Citizenship and Immigration Services showed repeated attempts to track down one Samar Navabi that Zahra had insisted was in the area... But of course, government departments used government files to track people down, rather than say, through a phone bill or bank record, and every attempt to access Samar's details via a government server had been blocked at the Department's general level by the fact her personnel record and every other record associated with it, was classified due to the necessary precautions the Post Office had to take to protect its agents. And, it seemed the Department, being fed up with repeatedly blocked attempts, had finally filed a higher level request for information... But of course, that wasn't a request that was likely to go through in a hurry.  

Samar stared at all the information in a daze; it didn't feel real and yet, it most definitely was. She didn't know what to say or how to feel, only that it was like her world was being tipped upside down all over again. She had spent so much time grieving, and coming to terms with who her brother really was, finally making her peace with the things she knew and the things she would never know about him for sure... And there it all was, all coming back all over again.

It was overwhelming.  

Without even realising it, she practically slumped against the back of the couch, her head resting on Aram's shoulder and her cheek against his, still staring in disbelief at that laptop screen in front of her and all the information it bore.  

'You're going to be late for work,' was all that she could finally mumble to him. Aram's lips brushed against her cheek, pressing a reassuring kiss there in response.  
'I think this is a valid reason,' he whispered back.   
'Go,' Samar murmured softly, 'you shouldn't keep Cooper waiting, not even for this.' Still she stared at the screen, intermittently shaking her head in disbelief. For a moment, Aram didn't respond; he was hesitant to leave her there like that. 'I'll be ok,' Samar added, when he remained gazing silently, cautiously at her. 'I have to go in just under an hour, myself.'   
'Ok.' Aram gave a short nod, closing up his laptop and slipping it back into his bag, before slipping the bag –and Leila's too- over his shoulder. He lifted Leila up into his arms, and Samar followed them both to the front door. They paused there, just long enough for Samar to give Leila another cuddle and a kiss, and for Aram to dot an affectionate kiss to her cheek too. 'Let me know when you're on your way home tomorrow, ok?' Aram added softly, as he always did when Mossad called her away. Samar managed a weak, watery smile, kissing him back in turn before replying;  
'I always do.'  

Another round of hugs and kisses, and Samar watched Aram walk away down the building hallway out of sight, Leila still babbling happily in his arms.  

Still, none of it quite felt real.  

/*/*/*/*    

**_WEDNESDAY EVENING..._ **

The assignment went as it nearly always did; without incident. Upon touching back down at Dulles and walking out of the terminal towards the car park, Samar pulled out her phone as she always did too –to let Aram know she was on her way home safe.  

But then she paused.

Her assignment had finished earlier than expected, and she and her team had all managed to switch to earlier flights home. Aram wasn't expecting her call for another couple of hours.

A breath caught in Samar's throat as she contemplated the impulsive, possibly terrible idea now running through her mind. Her keys flipped over in her fingers. Still, she didn't know how to feel about the revelation that little Mina even existed, let alone the fact that Zahra and Mina were close by... _Searching_ for her. It had lingered in the back of her mind the entire time she was away, and it still it bothered her now. In part, it felt almost as if she couldn't believe any of it until she saw them for herself...

...Without even realising it, Samar found herself standing next to her car, with her mind made up.

Some forty minutes later, she found herself in front of an unfamiliar front door in an unfamiliar building, hearing the sounds of equally unfamiliar voices –one adult, one a child- talking and giggling inside. Samar knocked on the door, another breath caught in her throat all over again. Her stomach churned, completely at a loss for what she was supposed to say when that door opened... Until it did.  

An almost hauntingly familiar face appeared from behind the door.  
'Zahra?' Samar's voice cracked slightly. 'I'm Samar.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, 'Introductions'. 
> 
>  
> 
> [](https://www.flickr.com/gp/152300685@N03/vT132u)


	89. Introductions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Sunday, March 11, 2018.
> 
> Italics for Zahra's speech are to indicate Farsi. :)
> 
> Shoutout to my tumblr anon, who excitedly asked about what was going to happen next! :)

**_SUNDAY MORNING..._ **

Samar paced anxiously back and forth across the living room, waiting for everyone to arrive. Twelve days on since finding out that her brother had a daughter, and eleven since knocking on Zahra and Mina's front door, and Samar still felt a certain churning in her gut at the very idea; she had _family_. Not the family she expected, but family nonetheless... And now they were about to meet others of her family.  

It was gut wrenching and exciting all at once.

/*/*/*/*

**_WEDNESDAY NIGHT (ELEVEN DAYS EARLIER)..._ **

_'Samar, you ok?' Aram's curious voice had jolted Samar yet again from the daze and the anxiety that had swirled around in her mind the entire drive home from Zahra's apartment. She had been quiet and all out of sorts from the moment she had arrived home, and the longer she sat at the dining table, silently wringing her hands, the more Aram grew concerned._

_'I found them,' Samar finally spoke, her voice cracking to the point it was barely audible. Aram furrowed his brow, quickly sitting down on the chair next to hers._  
_'You found them, as in...' He warily trailed off._  
_'As in, I went to their apartment, I knocked on their door, and we had tea.' There was something matter of fact about Samar's voice, but still she couldn't quite meet his eye. Aram blinked, once, twice, momentarily unsure what to make of her words._  
_'You did_ what _?' He finally yelped –not that he was at all offended, but he was certainly surprised._  
_'I don't even know why I did it.' Samar buried her face in her hands for a moment. 'My flight back was earlier than expected, and I had to drive through that area anyway, so all of a sudden I just found myself going in that direction.'_  
_'Well...' Aram took a breath, steadying himself before reaching forwards, gently pulling her hands from her face and taking them in his. '...How was it?'_

_Samar bit her lip; a tiny hint of a grateful, guilty smile tugged at her lips, overwhelmingly relieved that the idea of chastising her for doing something so crazy and impulsive didn't seem to cross Aram's mind even for a second._

_'She recognised me from a picture the second she opened the door,' Samar recalled. 'She threw her arms around me, Aram... Like she thought I was there to save them.' Samar paused, taking a breath as she thought back to a few hours earlier. 'And then we talked... For_ hours _. I thought I was going to be angry at her for knowing Shahin was alive, but I just couldn't do it... He lied to her too. He told her that he was faking his death so that they could be together because our families wouldn't approve their marriage... And then they ran away together so in truth, he could just lay low for a while.'_  
_'And then Mina was born...' Aram nodded slowly, following along._  
_'And then we caught up to him in Cairo in 2012, and it spooked him,' Samar continued, 'so he abandoned them. He left her a pile of cash and a letter saying it wasn't safe for them if he stayed.' Samar let out a sigh, bitterly shaking her head. 'The thing is though, it's almost like despite all that, Shahin really did care about them. He made up that lie so that he could stay with her even after he faked his death, but then chose to leave them rather than put them in danger... Which does not help me when I want so badly to hate him right now.'_  
_'Another reason to separate Shahin from Hasaan.' Aram's fingers tightened around Samar's, trying to remind her again of the distinction between the brother she had loved so dearly, and the man who had killed her friends, and tried to kill her too._

 _'Zahra heard a rumour that I was here, so three years ago she came looking for me, hoping that I knew where Shahin was.'_  
_'Wait,_ three _years ago?'_  
_'Roughly,' Samar said, nodding and nonchalantly shrugging her shoulders._  
_'That's just before Shahin attacked the Georgetown safe house, looking for the Mossad list,' Aram observed, thinking back to that awful day. Samar nodded warily. 'He could have done that any time, but he chooses to come right when Zahra came looking for you? Do you think he was trying to stop her from finding you as well?'_  
_'Maybe,' Samar murmured. 'Another thing we'll never know for sure, I guess...' She trailed off, deep in contemplation for a moment, before her gaze snapped earnestly back to Aram's. 'Aram, she and Mina are the only other family I have left... And Zahra's been cut off from the rest of hers too.' Samar gritted her teeth in determination; 'I want to keep in contact with them.' In an instant, Aram broke into a wide smile, and he leaned forwards in his seat towards her, planting a proud kiss to her forehead._  
_'Good,' he commented. 'I'd like to meet them.'_

/*/*/*/*

**_SUNDAY MORNING..._ **

Mehri and Naveed arrived first. Liz and Sammy weren't coming; too many unfamiliar faces all at once would be too overwhelming for Zahra and little Mina, who was terrified of crowds of strangers... But more welcoming faces than just Samar, Aram, and Leila was a nice touch for Zahra that Samar had wanted to add; after all, Mehri and Naveed were two more people who spoke her native language, and that would be a comfort after Zahra had been forced to flee her homeland.  

Another knock on the door signalled Zahra and Mina's arrival. Samar lurched forwards from her seat in the living room, stomach still churning in nervous anticipation. She darted straight to the door and opened it without a single second's hesitation.  

Zahra stood there, smiling awkwardly in equally nervous anticipation, with seven year old Mina idling shyly about her legs.  

'Hi,' Samar began. Zahra held up what appeared to be some kind of tupperware container, the smell from which was overwhelmingly delicious.  
'I did some baking for you,' Zahra burst out, in her broken English. There was a pause, where Samar did a double take, completely unsure how to respond. Happy tears welled up in the corners of Zahra's eyes; Samar's surprise arrival at her door had been an overwhelming enough delight for her as it was, let alone the subsequent invitation to lunch. Now, finally arriving was clearly a little too much for the younger woman who Samar had only really met once or twice in casual passing before the bombing in Pishin. She remembered Zahra being kind hearted and sweet, and still it showed. For only a split second Samar hesitated, and then she couldn't help herself. She lurched forwards again, wrapping her arms around Zahra and pulling her in for a warm embrace and holding her there. Zahra let out a tiny sniffle, and then another, against her shoulder.  
'I'm so glad you're here,' Samar murmured, when they finally pulled apart. She smiled, warm and genuine, and no longer nervous this time, before crouching down to Mina's level. 'Hello, Mina,' she greeted the shy, little girl. Mina buried her face against her mother's leg, but still held out a half crumpled piece of paper for Samar to see.  
'I drew a you picture,' she mumbled. The tiniest traces of a smile tugged at the little girl's lips as Samar took the piece of paper into her hands, unfolded it, and gazed at the image. Colourful crayon lines formed three stick figures in a row on zigzagged grass; the outer two much taller than the little one in the middle.

The captions in Mina's seven year old scrawl read 'Maman', 'Mina', and 'Aunty Samar'.  

'Oh,' Samar gasped, the breath catching in her throat as she read the captions. 'Mina, this is beautiful. Thank you.' She smiled at the little girl in front of her, and she meant it earnestly. Finally, though still clinging to her mother's leg, Mina broke into a delighted giggle in response, and Samar slowly stood again. She stepped back from the front door, making space for Zahra and Mina to follow her inside.

Mehri, Naveed, and Aram with Leila in his arms stood to greet them in the living room as soon as they rounded the corner from the hallway. Samar made the round of introductions quick, with Mehri and Naveed both greeting Zahra eagerly in Farsi. It was barely a second after that, that Mehri barrelled forwards in her standard overzealous enthusiasm, wrapping her arms around Zahra and Mina in turn, much to their surprise.  

But, it was Leila that caught everyone's attention. Curious about the two new visitors, she toddled amongst the legs of the adults in the room, until she walked straight into Mina and nearly knocked her over. The older girl stumbled on her feet, taken by surprise for a moment, but quickly regained her balance. She couldn't help but let out a shy giggle at the toddler staring up at her, clumsily holding up a wooden block in one hand for her to see.   
' _Bock_ ,' Leila burst out, giggling back. She pushed the block towards Mina, until Mina took it into her hand, and then Leila scuttled away again. Round the legs of all the curiously, and amusedly watching adults she went, plucking two more blocks –one in each hand- from her toy box and then toddling back again. She outstretched one arm, handing over the first of the two to Mina; ' _bock_ ,' she babbled happily again. Mina paused for a second, unsure how to respond, before gingerly taking hold of that block as well. Leila's face lit up in delight, and then held out the next block too. Mina looked at the two blocks she already held, and hesitated. She looked quizzically up at Zahra, no longer having enough hands to take a third block, but her mother simply smiled down at her, struggling not to laugh.  
' _Mina_ ,' Zahra softly began, speaking to her daughter in Farsi, ' _I think Leila wants you to play with her_.' Mina furrowed her brow in thought, as her mother crouched down by her side. ' _Like this, sweetheart,_ ' Zahra added, taking one block from her daughter and the other from Leila, and then stacking them one atop the other on the floor between the three of them. Mina followed suit, adding the last block to the top of the tower, and Leila instantly let out a cackle of glee. She turned, scurrying back to her toy box and bringing back two more blocks, adding one precariously to the tower, and then handing the second to Mina yet again. The tower toppled quickly with the fifth block and Leila jumped, her bottom lip popping out unhappily... But Mina stacked all five blocks back up again just as quickly, then offered the toddler a quizzical grin.  
'Like this, Leila?' She asked quietly, though there was a distinct hint of affection in her voice already. Samar crouched down on Mina and Leila's other side, almost directly across from Zahra.  
'That's perfect.' Samar nodded, giving Mina an encouraging smile. Just like that, the content smile was back on Leila's face, and off she went running to the toybox and back, this time with plastic farm animal figurines in hand. Mina took the plastic cow and balanced it carefully on top of the five stacked blocks... And Leila instantly let out a cackle in response.  
' _Do you know who Leila is, Mina?'_   Zahra added, and Mina quickly shook her head. ' _She's Aunty Samar's little girl... And she's your little cousin_.'  Leila's clumsy addition of the cow figurine to the top of the blocks next to the horse as they spoke, made the pile topple all over again –eliciting yet another happy giggle.  
'My cousin?' Mina gave a small gasp, her eyes going wide in amazement. In having grown up thus far away from most of her and Zahra's family, she had never had a cousin before; just the very idea was even more excitable than realising she had an Aunty Samar. Zahra nodded in response to the question, and Mina broke into a wide grin. She quickly restacked the blocks in front of Leila in two smaller towers this time, with an animal figurine on top of each one.  
'I think she loves you already,' Samar observed, as Leila went running between everyone's legs yet again, this time returning with her treasured Mr Spikes. Mina watched on too; it was amazing how much the two girls looked alike. Leila already looked much like Samar, and Samar had always been told growing up that she looked like her own mother. Shahin was said to look a little like her too, though nowhere near as much. Mina, however, did seem to have inherited the same features. She and Leila -with the exception of Leila's chubby baby cheeks, fairer colouring, and Ressler's ears- were practically the spitting image of one another, especially when it came to the shape of their eyes and nose. 

Leila set down Mr Spikes just in front of the two small towers, and Mina couldn't help but  smile as her little cousin grinned up at her again.   
'I love her too,' she murmured warmly.  

/*/*/*/*

**_SUNDAY AFTERNOON..._ **

Stacking blocks and other toys into an entire kingdom surrounding Mr Spikes and Ruby the pink triceratops, eventually transitioned into shared scribbling together. Aram pulled out one of the larger sheets of paper and Leila's pile of washable crayons and placed all of them in the middle of the floor. From there, Mina –who according to Zahra, spent more time drawing than any other possible pass time- and Leila scrawled side by side, with Mina even turning Leila's clumsy, toddler scribbles into parts of the overall picture by adding curved outlines to the light blue scribbles to make clouds, orange points to the yellow scribble to make a sun, and so on. Even Naveed, much to their combined delight, ended up defying his ageing joints to sit down with them and added a garden around Mina's long line of stick figures that was supposed to represent all of them. It escaped the attention of nobody that Mina quite happily drew herself and Leila side by side in the picture.  

By afternoon, neither of the two girls wanted to leave each other's side, but Leila needed a nap and even Mina appeared to be growing sleepy.  

' _I looked for you for a long time and couldn't find you_ ,' Zahra said softly, turning back to face Samar again just before reaching the door to leave. ' _I don't know how you found us... But I'm so happy you did._ '  
' _Me too_.'  Samar nodded, her expression as earnest as it was warm. Zahra hesitated, looking just past Samar's shoulder to observe little Mina well out of earshot and still saying her goodbyes to Aram, Mehri and Naveed, before speaking again.   
' _Can I ask you something... About Shahin?'_   Samar furrowed her brow at the quiet voice and almost nervous tone, but nodded her assent all the same.   
' _Sure_.'  
' _Mina asks about him all the time_ ,' Zahra explained, ' _and I don't know what to tell her._ ' She paused, biting her lip anxiously. Her shoulders slumped just ever so slightly in regret. ' _Samar, the man I married was good. He loved me, and he loved Mina. To us, he was never someone who killed so many people. It's hard to forget that when it's the only part of him I really knew until it was too late._ '  
' _Don't forget it_ ,' Samar said quickly, shaking her head. ' _I don't forget the little brother I grew up with, the one I played with in the garden, and whose hand clung to mine when our parents died. I have to separate him from Hasaan, believe that the little brother I loved really did die in Pishin-_ ' a breath caught in Samar's throat as she spoke, but she gritted her teeth and continued all the same ' _-and then the man who tried to hurt me after that was someone else. It's easier that way; it means I can keep a hold on the good memories-_ '  
' _-And you only have to hate Hasaan..._ ' Zahra trailed off, finishing the train of thought for her. Her eyes drifted from Samar's, deep in thought, but she nodded in understanding nonetheless. ' _Pishin for you, could be Cairo for me._ '   
' _I don't know what else could really help, though,_ ' Samar murmured, offering a smile that was both apologetic and a genuine attempt at something reassuring.   
' _No_.' Zahra shook her head quickly, and smiled back. ' _That's more than enough. Thank you_.' She reached forwards, outstretching her arms to pull Samar into a warm, grateful embrace, and Samar gladly hugged her back. Finally, as they slowly pulled apart, Zahra called out to her little girl who was eagerly trying to give Leila one last cuddle; ' _Mina, come on, sweetheart_.' The bubbly girl came quickly bounding across the room to her, beaming happily up at Samar. ' _Did you say good bye to everyone?'_   Zahra asked her, and Mina quickly bobbed her head. Samar crouched down to her level again, giving her a hug in turn.  
'Bye, Aunty Samar,' came Mina's muffled voice from where she had momentarily buried her face in Samar's shoulder.  
'Bye, Mina,' she softly replied.

Samar stood in the doorway, watching them walk away until they rounded the corner of the apartment building hallway and disappeared from view. There was a wistful expression on her face as she watched them; from not knowing they even really existed, to now, felt like some kind of whirlwind. The idea that Shahin had left behind a child after all this time left an odd pang in her gut that Samar couldn't identify. It was protective, almost, determined to make the most of the opportunity for family that she had just stumbled across, and even more so to make sure that her little niece grew up safe, far from the influences that had radicalised her father. And finally, there was an odd sensation of being at peace with the idea, having now met them and spoken to Zahra about it all. There was a certain, unique sense of solidarity they shared, both equally torn over the brother and husband who had betrayed them and yet, they somehow both loved and hated him all the same... And that was something Samar had never had before.

Now, she had a sister.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, the return of another familiar face, in 'Gathering'.


	90. Gathering

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date: Wednesday-Sunday, March 21-25, 2018.

**_WEDNESDAY MORNING..._ **

'You're in a good mood today,' Liz drolly observed, after watching Aram at his desk out of the corner of her eye on and off all morning since their daily briefing.   
'I'm always in a good mood,' Aram quipped back, his brow furrowing in complete bafflement at the comment. He glanced up, eyeing the wry smile on Liz's face, and Samar biting her lip in the attempt not to laugh.  
'I meant more so than usual,' Liz chuckled softly. Without even realising it, Aram had been grinning widely all morning as he went about his usual routines, and even humming to himself on and off in time with his usual tapping at his keyboard.   
'Angus and Riley are back,' Samar explained for him with an amused shake of her head, as Aram frowned, completely oblivious, and now trying to figure out what on earth his tell was. Liz's eyes widened in sudden amazement and surprise.   
'When did they get here?' She exclaimed. The first and last time she had seen Angus and little Riley was when they had met at Aram's birthday some seven months earlier. Perhaps it was that the passing of time had made the memory of their interactions seem fonder, but Liz was fairly certain that her first, and rather positive impressions of Aram's former college roommate had been realistic –after all, reading people was what she did. The knowledge that he was returning too, had always been vague and undefined to the point of it seeming like it would never happen... But now that Angus was back for sure, Liz couldn't help but feel an odd, warm buzz of excitement suddenly bubbling up inside.   
'They flew in last night,' Aram chirped in quick response, practically bouncing on the balls of his feet in an enthusiasm that was only furthered by Liz's apparently shared delight. Samar quietly studied the excitement on both their faces; Liz's nearly even rivalled Aram's. _That was interesting..._ With a tiny smirk that neither of the other two noticed, Samar filed the observation away in the back of her mind.   
' _Oh_.' Liz's face lit up with the delight of a an idea suddenly bursting into mind. 'You should invite them to come for lunch on the weekend.'  
'You sure?' Aram asked, his brow furrowing once again, but this time in thought. The lunch they had planned for the upcoming Sunday, was to celebrate Liz's birthday that fell on the Monday immediately after, but no matter how excited she seemed to potentially see Angus again, even Aram wasn't entirely sure if she really wanted him at her birthday or whether she was simply being polite. Regardless, Liz nodded, adamantly bobbing her head up and down.  
'Sure,' she beamed, 'I'd love to see them again.' All Aram could do was grin back as he replied;   
'Ok, 'I'll call him later and ask him.'

/*/*/*/*

**_WEDNESDAY EVENING..._ **

'How's the unpacking going?' Aram asked, having called Angus –as promised- as soon as he and Samar returned home that evening.   
'Slowly,' he heard Angus's voice sigh in response through the phone. 'Half our stuff is still stuck in the shipping container because the ship was delayed by the weather, but we'll manage. Riley seems to get a kick out of the dining table and chairs currently being made out of cardboard boxes.'  
'Well, on that note.' Aram grinned as he spoke, the visual of Riley gleefully sitting atop an upside down cardboard packing box making his lips quirk up quickly in amusement. 'If you're sick of living off takeout over the next couple of days while you guys get settled... It's Liz's birthday next Monday and we're all getting together for lunch on Sunday. She said to tell you you're more than welcome to come along.'  
'Hey, we had Subway last night, you know,' Angus drolly shot back, 'that's _semi_ -healthy takeout at least, there were vegetables involved.' He paused, his voice then softening in thought as he continued; 'but an actual sit down meal with everyone would be nice, actually.'   
'Samar and I did say you could come here for dinner too, remember,' Aram reminded him, albeit only teasingly.  
'I know, brother,' Angus' soft chuckle came back through the line again, 'though after a day of trying to unpack _and_ entertain a three and a half year old all at once, going elsewhere for dinner is kind of...' He trailed off, not really sure how to describe the feeling.   
'Too tiring?' Aram curiously finished for him.   
'Yeah, I guess.' Not that Aram could see it, but on the other end of the line Angus shrugged nonchalantly, 'but a slower Sunday would be a great idea.'   
'I'll let her know you're coming.'

/*/*/*/*

**_SUNDAY..._ **

Angus hesitated before knocking on Liz's door. It had been so long since they had seen each other –since they met, really- he had absolutely no idea what to expect... And it wasn't exactly a situation where he knew what to do either. Given the timing and the hospitality, Angus was fairly certain he couldn't show up empty handed but then on the other hand, he didn't exactly know Liz well enough to know what to give her either. Flowers had been the most obvious idea after that, but two seconds later Angus had instantly flashed back to Aram's warning so many months earlier of not crossing that line beyond friendship... And so out the window flowers went, just to be on the safe side and not accidentally tip the balance.  

Ever since Aram's phone call inviting him to lunch, Angus had been wracking his brain, trying to think of something specifically Liz that he could bring...

...But it was Riley who had the unexpected brainwave without even realising it, when they paused just for a moment to ponder the flower shop not far from their new home, while walking past.  

A mixed pot plant was what in the carrier box in his hand now; not one with flowers, but the sort of three-sectioned small windowsill sized planter box with herbs. Liz's cooking skills, or general lack thereof, was one thing he did remember her mentioning, as well as her insistence that she wanted to learn. With that in mind, the mix of fresh herbs seemed just the right choice for Liz; it was personal and friendly, and an encouragement to keep trying new things. The moment Riley had pointed at it at the shop, tugging on Angus' hand and asking what the green, leafy things without flowers were, the decision had been made.  

Nevertheless, he was still nervous.

'What's wrong, Daddy?' Riley's curious voice brought Angus' attention soaring straight back to the present. Angus shifted his glance to the little boy standing there by his side with the sandy blonde hair that never sat flat, and offered him his best attempt at a reassuring smile.  
'Oh, nothing, buddy,' he murmured back.  
'Then...' Little Riley screwed up his face trying to make sense of the hesitation. 'Why you not knocking on the door?'  
'Uh,' Angus paused, not entirely sure how to answer his son's perfectly innocent question. He glanced down, trying to think of any possible reason beyond the grown up nervousness he wasn't quite ready to explain. 'Well,' he spoke slowly again, glancing at the plant carrier box in one hand, and his other hand clasped firmly around Riley's. 'My hands are kind of full, Riles. Do you want to knock on the door for me instead?' Riley's face lit up with delight; he loved to do anything vaguely helpful that adults did, whether it be knocking on doors instead of Angus, or being the one to hand the cashier his father's cash at a store to pay for something, or even just holding onto the grocery list. The little boy lurched forwards, knocking quickly three times on the door just as he saw his father do from time to time, before jumping back again, grinning at the door in excited anticipation.  

It was barely moments after that, that the door opened and Angus and Riley were swept inside into the flurry of Aram, Samar, Liz, Mehri, Naveed, and the two toddlers. Greetings and hugs went full circle, after having been in the Pacific for the entire seven months since Aram's last birthday. Riley had grown considerably and had his own birthday too since then, so of course everyone had to comment on how big he was now too, much to his delight... But as expected, the majority of little Riley's enthusiasm was reserved for seeing Sammy and Leila again. It was almost immediately that he sat down with them and their toys, joining in with their imaginative toddler games seamlessly, as if he had been there with them the entire time.  

Angus on the other hand, was far less smooth. The hint of nervousness only bubbled up more so inside as he finally handed over Liz's gift.

...Though he needn't have worried, not even in the slightest, for Liz seemed to love it –even going so far as to set it perfectly in place on her kitchen windowsill straight away.

Aram, however, raised a wary eyebrow at the exchange, but kept quiet. Samar too, stayed quiet, but watched on curiously all the same. Whether they realised it or not –and Samar was fairly sure that at this point, they _didn't_ \- there was just something different about the smiles and laughs Angus and Liz shared with one another over the dining table, compared to those offered to everyone else. What Samar didn't realise either though, as she filed that particular detail away in her mind as well, was that those smiles –or at least, Angus'- were the very same ones Aram had already picked up on and warned Angus about months ago. They continuously brushed against one another too, in passing through the hustle and bustle of the crowd in Liz's kitchen and living room, even though they didn't realise that either.  

But it was when Liz, in her own display of covert skills, managed to step aside from the crowd and gently nudge Samar with her elbow on the outskirts of the room without anybody else noticing, that the pieces came to truly fit together in Samar's head.  
'Hey,' Liz murmured, a combination of nerves and curiosity in her voice, while she tried to be discreet all at the same time, 'so, are Angus and Riley here to stay permanently now? They're not moving away again to islands that don't officially exist any time soon?'   
'As far as I know,' Samar quietly replied, keeping a neutral face in equal discretion. Whatever it was that had motivated Liz to ask such a question, she was being cautious about it, and Samar could easily see the need to follow suit to keep the cover rather than rousing the attention of the others in the kitchen. Not to mention, she was curious –given the soft smiles, the passing brushes, and Angus' awkward shuffling that was almost identical to the shuffle Aram did when he had the butterflies of nerves spiralling in his belly- in the face of the sudden opportunity to gently push for insight into Liz's thoughts where Angus was concerned. 'He wants to get Riley into a good pre-school, so I imagine that means he's here for a few years at least... Why?'  
'Just curious.' Liz gave a shrug as she spoke, one that could easily be described as _overly_ casual. There was a subtle smile that was fighting to be free on her face however, that Samar only added to the long, growing list of things to be filed in her mind as the silence fell between them again.  

If at the very least only Angus had been aware of that brewing attraction months earlier, while he observed Liz while casually chatting to Aram in Delaware, now _Liz_ was definitely aware as well.  

/*/*/*/*

**_SUNDAY NIGHT..._ **

'I think Liz has a soft spot for Angus,' Samar observed drolly to Aram, once back in the privacy of their own apartment.   
'I noticed that too,' Aram sighed, casting his gaze over his shoulder just in time to catch a glimpse of Samar across the room, pulling his MIT shirt over her head until its hem sat barely an inch higher than the bottom edges of her cotton, polka-dotted sleep shorts. '...And after I told Angus _not_ to go there, last year.' Samar's head whipped around to stare at him in disbelief the second she freed the long, dark curls caught up in the neckline of the shirt.  
'You did _what?_ ' Standing on opposite sides of the bed, Aram shuffled awkwardly on the spot and Samar shook her head as she let out an exasperated sigh.   
'They're both our friends, and they both have enough on their plates,' Aram hurriedly tried to explain; 'Liz is trying to adopt and losing Tom wasn't all that long ago. Angus just moved back, and... You didn't see what he was like when Molly left him. What she did to Angus and Riley, that just about tore him apart. I don't want to see either of them or any of the kids hurt if it doesn't work out, let alone _us_ potentially getting caught in the middle-'  
'-Aram...' Samar gently cut off the anxious rambling. Her head tilted, now staring at him more in conflicted understanding than confusion and disbelief. 'At the moment, they're each probably the best possible person for the other... But you wouldn't even want to see them take a chance?'   
'It's risky.' Aram gave a nervous shrug and let out yet another sigh; he cared about both Liz and Angus all too much; that protective instinct over each of them –easily his two closest friends- was unconditional and fiercely strong. Just the _idea_ of them falling apart from each other, and the consequences of such, left an incredible anxiety churning in his gut already. It wasn't something he ever wanted to have to see. Samar broke into a contemplative smile as she took in the internal battle playing out across Aram's face.   
'Me letting _you_ in was risky too,' she murmured. Her fingertips toyed absentmindedly with the edges of the bedcovers as she thought back to those two years earlier. 'I had Leila to think about, and I wasn't entirely sure that having you get involved right at that moment was a good idea either... But it was. I took that chance, and now look at us.' Samar paused, taking the moment to wryly eye Aram up and down where he stood there in nothing but his boxers. He rolled his eyes at her mischievous smirk, but the point was made all the same. 'Angus and Liz are adults,' Samar continued, trying to hold back a laugh at the eyeroll that had eased the awkward tension in Aram's shoulders, in the wake of the more serious topic of conversation. 'If they want to go down that path, you can't exactly stop them.' Samar gently tugged back the bedcovers and climbed into the bed, letting out an involuntary groan as she sank into the soft mattress and stretched out. Aram paused before doing the same, furrowing his brow and screwing up his face as he stared down at the floorboards, knowing that what Samar had said was painfully true.   
'I just don't know if it's a good idea,' he murmured back, crawling into the bed beside her. Aram gave a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders, trying to shake off the way the whole idea irked him so much. Samar wasn't wrong; they really didn't have any say in the matter of how –or _if_ \- Liz and Angus decided to pursue anything more than friendship. Whatever they did, for the sake of his friendship with both of them, Aram had to come to some kind of acceptance and he knew it. He also did want to see them both happy... But at the same time, the potential consequence of things going wrong was never going to stop lurking in the back of his mind. Samar, on the other hand -and after she and Ressler had managed to work out the whole situation with Leila in the end as well- had far more faith that the way things could work out in the end was worth the risk.  
'It might not be,' she whispered, switching off the lamp on the nightstand beside her, 'but what if it _is?_ '

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, 'Marathon'!


	91. Marathon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date: Monday, April 2, 2018.
> 
> The second of today's two chapters! Enjoy :)

The apartment was busy that morning, not with the usual morning routine, but busy nonetheless. Samar had forgone her usual early morning run, and straight from the change in time getting out of bed, plus her presence at a time when she would have otherwise been absent, the routine vanished in favour of chaos. Leila knew the routine enough to know that something was different, and she toddled around the apartment as quick on their heels as she could, excited by the buzz of something happening and curious to see what it was.  

It was Monday, but it wasn't a normal work day. It was the Easter Monday law enforcement and other services marathon day, where local police, firefighters, paramedics, federal agents, and military service people ran a marathon through the city, as a fundraiser for veterans who were either homeless or had excess medical expenses since their return from combat. Samar, Ressler, Liz, and even Cooper were expected to run –thus why Samar had chosen not to take her usual earlier run- and so the routine was different. She bustled around the apartment in her active leggings, sports bra and loose tank top, making sure she had enough water, a change of clothes for after the race, and everything else she needed. Aram, on the other hand, was torn over what to wear; he wasn't supposed to run given that he wasn't technically a field agent, but as part of the team he still had to be present, representing the Bureau just as the rest of them did –not to mention, there was no way he wasn't going to stand there in the crowd, watching and supporting the rest of them as they ran. A suit like that which he wore to the office every day seemed too formal, but on the other hand jeans and a t-shirt wasn't formal enough to represent the Bureau.  

In the end he went for halfway between; jeans and a button down shirt, with a sweater and tie... Though for the moment, with Leila having wrapped herself around his leg and squealing gleefully with every exaggerated step around the apartment that lifted her those couple of inches off the ground, Aram had only managed so far as the jeans, buttoned but untucked shirt, and the tie draped loosely around his shoulders.  

He was standing in the bathroom, grinning down at Leila while he brushed his teeth, when Samar darted through the doorway behind him, pulling her hair into a low pony tail as she moved. She smirked and shook her head in amusement at the sight of them, all the while Leila continued to giggle up at them both. Aram gave a helpless shrug and sheepish grin, knowing that Samar was just about ready to go and his usual inability not to give in to Leila's shenanigans had delayed them once again... But Samar made no complaints. Instead, she simply closed the gap between them, careful not to accidentally step on the nineteen month old little girl who was so insistent on attaching herself to their ankles, before tucking Aram's shirt into his jeans and then making quick work of his tie -all in a flash before Aram could even truly register the invasion of his personal space...

...Not that he even really had a problem with that, anyway. If Aram was truly being honest with himself, between Leila following them around _everywhere_ since discovering her ever increasing ability to move around, and Samar's habit of rolling on top of him in her sleep, Aram had long since given up on personal space where they were concerned.  

Aram blinked, pausing in amused disbelief for a second as Samar took one step back to admire her handiwork, before he quickly bent over the sink to spit and rinse.  

'Is tying a tie yet another one of those curious skills you learned from Mossad?' He gently teased, reaching sideways for the towel rail to dry his face. Normally, he tied his own tie quick enough while getting ready in the morning, that Samar didn't have the opportunity to do so for him –to the point that he didn't even know that she knew how to do it, let alone so well and so efficiently. When Aram briefly glanced down at the knot, it seemed expertly done. Samar however, simply shrugged, a wry smile crossing her face as memories of the past flashed –albeit only for a split second- before her eyes, and Aram leaned down to finally disentangle Leila from his ankles and lift her up.   
'Perhaps,' she murmured back, waggling her eyebrows and absentmindedly toying with the tie in question. 'Now are we ready to go?'

/*/*/*/*

The crowd that lined the streets cordoned off especially for the marathon, was huge. Personnel from all the participating departments and their families were amongst the hoard of locals fascinated by all the colourful promotional banners and loud music. Samar and Aram, with Leila in tow, pushed their way through, until eventually they found Angus and little Riley guarding a spot right on the sideline with full view of the finishing line. Besides being Aram and Samar's friend, Angus' NSA position meant that like Aram, his federal agency was represented in the marathon but he himself wasn't running.

The pair of matching, sandy blonde heads -one neatly groomed, and the other messy- turned in perfect synchronisation to greet them.

'Samar tied your tie this morning?' Angus' gentle, teasing voice asked instead of 'good morning'. Aram opened and closed his mouth at the unexpected greeting, instantly furrowing his brow and glancing tentatively down at his tie once again. At quick glance, and with the upside down view, he couldn't see anything different to how it was usually tied.   
'How can you tell?' Aram asked in disbelief. Samar simply smirked, then set Leila down on her feet beside Riley who in turn, grinned widely at his little friend, and lurched forwards to give her a clumsy hug. Liz and Sammy were due to meet them there too, before the race, so that Sammy would sit with Aram, Angus, Leila and Riley during the race... Only she too, had called ahead to say she was running slightly late, and so Samar wouldn't see her until the starting line.  
'I'm observant,' Angus chuckled back.  
' _Samma_ ,' Leila's frustrated babble broke into the conversation. She was glancing around them all, and looking up at Samar and Aram with a questioning expression and wobbly lip. Samar crouched down to her little girl's level, gently stroking her cheek.  
'Sammy will be here soon, ladybug,' she murmured softly.  
' _Ry-eee_ ,' Leila babbled again in response.   
'Riley's right here,' Samar pointed out, gesturing to Riley standing right behind her little girl.  
'That's me,' the little boy giggled. Samar shot him a knowing grin, and Riley only giggled more so, but Leila remained oblivious to the exchange.  
' _Mina_ ,' she chortled next, holding her mother's gaze with her face screwed up in determination. Whether she was simply going through and practicing her words, or whether Leila really was looking for all of them all of a sudden, Samar wasn't sure.  
'We'll see Mina at the park later,' she calmly tried to reassure the toddler. Mina was terrified of crowds, so Zahra was planning to meet up with the rest of them at the park closer to Samar and Aram's apartment after the race. That way, the kids could all play together, but where it was quieter and far less crowded. Regardless, Leila pulled a face, then turned her attention to wrapping herself around Aram's calves all over again. Samar and Aram swapped amused, exasperated expressions, before Aram pried the little girl from his legs and lifted her up again.   
'Such a sociable ladybug today,' he chuckled, dotting an affectionate kiss to her chubby cheeks. He glanced past both Leila and Samar, spotting Ressler approaching through the crowd, waiting for Samar. The two men exchanged nods of greeting, just as Samar turned to glance over her shoulder and spot him herself. 'Ready?' Aram asked, shooting Samar a mischievous grin. She nodded back just as quickly.   
'I'll see you guys back here when I cross that finish line,' she quipped, tousling Leila's curly pigtails and then pressing a quick kiss to Aram's cheek in turn.   
'Good luck,' Aram chirped back, and Angus gave a small nod of his own. With a grin and a wave, Samar turned and hurried away through the crowd, towards where Ressler waited for her a few feet away, ready to head towards the start line.  

Ressler raised a wry, amused eyebrow when she approached.

'You tied Aram's tie today?' He mused instead of greeting, just as Angus had done earlier. Samar paused, gaping in amazement at him as they walked. 'What is it with everyone and Aram's tie?' She exclaimed, shaking her head in disbelief. 'How could you possibly tell?' Angus somehow figuring it out was one thing, but Ressler too? And from a few feet away? Samar was utterly baffled.  
'That's a full Windsor knot,' Ressler explained, 'he normally does a _half_ Windsor. They're similar, but there's enough of a size difference to tell them apart.' He paused, flashing Samar an amused smirk. 'Most guys usually stick to one knot and never change it, so if it's suddenly different...' Ressler trailed off, and Samar nodded slowly in understanding, knowing exactly where he was going with the observation.   
'...Then someone else tied it for him,' she finished for him. Ressler nodded, still smirking. Samar tried not to roll her eyes; it figured that the tiniest difference in tie knots was something that Ressler would notice -and Angus too, for that matter. That was one aspect where Angus differed from Aram, and even had something in common with Ressler instead; they both took to their personal grooming with a certain degree of seriousness, with their hair always in place, and their shirts always neatly pressed. That wasn't to say Aram was scruffy -because he certainly wasn't- but Ressler and Angus both seemed to take it to the next level again.

Though, while Ressler enjoyed his crisp suits and carefully gelled hair, Angus was neat but favoured a more dapper, slightly old-fashioned, quirky look, and sometimes even with a pocket watch rather than one on his wrist.  

'Unless he has reason to mix it up for once, which Aram doesn't,' Ressler added. 'It's also neater today. When Aram ties it, it's usually a little off to the side because he tugs on it too hard.' The smirk vanished in favour of a far more quizzical expression all of a sudden as they rounded another block corner. 'Where'd you learn how to tie a full Windsor?'  
'I didn't even know there were different tie knots,' Samar said, giving a nonchalant shrug, 'that's the only one I know.'  
'That doesn't answer the question,' Ressler mused in response, 'Mossad?' Samar gave a wry smile but otherwise didn't reply.

A silence fell between them as they continued to walk towards the start line; it wasn't a frustrated or antagonistic silence, but a calm, thoughtful one. Ressler let the question slide, sensing quickly that it wasn't one he was likely going to get an answer to, and carried on with the silence without issue. A small smile crossed Samar's face as she thought back; Mossad training had made sure all agents knew how to dress properly for all occasions –and that included properly tying a tie- simply to make sure they could blend in to any undercover scenario... But that wasn't where Samar had first learned that Windsor knot. It was a lesson she had aced during Mossad training, after possessing the skill already. It was one she had learned from an early age whilst watching her parents; her father had been more than capable of tying his own tie but for whatever unspoken and mysterious reason, it was her mother who had tied it every day. Each and every morning Samar's father had entered the kitchen before work, with his tie dangling about his neck, and each time her mother had taken great pleasure in tying it herself and making sure it was straight. It was a special moment they had shared, just between the two of them –one that seemed so trivial and yet, after years of doing it every day, had become a crucial moment in their morning routine. It went hand in hand with an adoring kiss and a soft wave just before Arash left for work.  

That was, until one morning Samar's father entered the kitchen with his tie dangling about his neck, only to find Nasrin busily tending to Shahin who had tripped over in the backyard and grazed his knee. With her hands full, and dealing with cleaning up the minor bleeding, Nasrin had been unable to do her usual Windsor knot, and Arash had been about to do it himself instead... Until Samar, ever wise at her tender age of eight or nine at the time, announced that she knew how to do it, because she watched them every morning. With a grin shared with her mother, her father had crouched down to let Samar give it a go. The result was a tangled mess that pointed sideways, but neither Arash nor Nasrin made any move to fix it. Instead, Arash had simply pressed a proud kiss to the top of Samar's head and told her that she had done it perfectly... And off to work he had gone.  

After that, the morning routine was different. Every morning, Arash entered the kitchen with his tie dangling about his neck, and Samar did her best effort to tie it with her tiny fingers, while her mother watched on proudly. Neither of them ever fixed her wonky knots... And then one day, they just weren't so wonky anymore.                                        

The rise in volume and excited voices as they approached the crowd at the start line jolted Samar from the pleasant memory, and the two of them quickly found their place amongst the crowd of fellow FBI agents. They weren't hard to identify; after all, the participant numbers pinned to the front of everyone's shirts were also underlined with a coloured code to indicate the represented department -in Samar and Ressler's case, as was the case of every other participant representing the Bureau, their numbers were underlined in yellow. A few minutes later, and Liz finally caught up to them after arriving and then dropping off Sammy with Aram.  
'You two ready for this race?' She chirped in greeting.   
'Ready for me to kick your ass?' Samar teased back –albeit only jokingly. Liz screwed up her face and rolled her eyes in mock exasperation; in reality, they had both upped their regular physical training well in advance of the marathon, and that had gone hand in hand with a healthy, friendly rivalry about who was going to run faster than who.   
'I'm faster than both of you,' Ressler drolly pointed out. Samar turned on the spot, both her and Liz shooting Ressler matching, raised eyebrows of mock objection.   
'Want to turn that into a bet?' Samar shot back. 'I beat you, and I get to drive the Bureau SUV for a week.' Ressler paused, narrowing his eyes as he thought it over; unlike Liz and Aram, both he and Samar were the kind of people who always had to drive –one reason why at home, Samar drove far more often than Aram did. So, when it came to the two of them working together in the field they were stuck. Ressler, being even more particular about it than Samar, typically ended up with the car keys, but Samar still spent the majority of that time gritting her teeth in the passenger seat. Finally, Ressler tilted his head thoughtfully, then nodded in agreement.  
'And if I beat you, I get to drive in peace for a week without any of your backseat driving,' he countered, holding out his hand for her to shake on the deal. She did so, both of them smirking over the idea of their own potential victories.   
'...If I'm faster than both of you,' Liz added, muttering under her breath, 'I'd like a week without having to listen to either of you squabble over the damn car.' Both smirks widened even more so, as the horn signalling them all to line up ready to start, rang in all their ears. Samar and Ressler took their places either side of Liz -Cooper was somewhere a few rows behind them with some friends from his earlier days at the Bureau- and finally...  

...The air horn sounded once more, and the entire crowd raced forwards.  

/*/*/*/*

Out of the three of them, Ressler remained in front for almost the entirety of the twenty six miles. Samar was close on his heels for that same amount of time, with Liz about the same distance again behind her.  

It was so frustratingly close without being able to just get past him.

Every so often a burst of energy allowed her to run close enough to him that theoretically Samar could have reached forwards and touched him... And each time Ressler tried desperately to push himself further ahead. Most of the time they sat in that happy middle ground, where Samar couldn't quite catch him, but Ressler couldn't extend the gap either.  

It was towards the end, in the last couple of miles, that Samar spotted Aram and Leila in the crowd on the sidelines. Aram had moved down away from the finish line just for the ending, to watch her appear around a bend and then follow along the sidelines as she raced towards the finish. He cheered as loud as he could the second she came into view, holding Leila up in the air both for her to see over the crowd and to cue her to add some noise to the cheering. Samar recognised their voices even before spotting them, and broke into a grin that made all frustration at the damp, loose strands of hair caught in her eyes and the beads of sweat rolling down her face, vanish in an instant. She took a breath, determined to push forwards with one final burst of energy –her second wind, so to speak. She picked up the pace, the colourful banner at the finish line visible in the distance at the end of the final, long, straight stretch. She made it as far as catching up to Ressler, closing the gap and running alongside him. Liz was still right behind them, and Ressler gave an involuntary grunt, pushing himself to try and propel ahead of them again.  

But Samar was determined. She remained levelled with him all the way down that final stretch.

Both of their heads bowed in intent focus on the ground as they both tried to advance just that one step ahead of each other, the closer they got to the end.

There was barely a split second between them.

Aram's cheering and Leila's squealing still rang in Samar's ears. Somewhere behind them, she could hear Angus, Riley and Sammy too.  

Her heart pounded in her chest in time with the noise, and each breath felt like a struggle in her chest.

...And then without even realising it at first, her toes hit that line on the ground just _one_ step before Ressler's.  

The ribbon at waist level had already been broken well before their arrival by a small handful of Marines, but that didn't matter to Samar in the slightest. She, Ressler and Liz, came to a slow stop all together after crossing that line, catching their breaths, all with delirious smiles on their faces. They had all made it to the end, and all with new personal bests to boot. Bottles of cold water quickly found their way into all their hands, which in turn moved very quickly to their mouths and then being poured over their heads. They all clapped each other on the back, still breathing heavily, but grinning all the same.   
'Hand them over,' Samar laughed between gasps of breath. She held out one hand, gesturing for the SUV key that Ressler always kept on the chain in his pocket -even the narrow, zipped pocket on the side of his running pants. Ressler couldn't help but grin, even as he breathlessly tugged the chain from his pocket. Samar narrowed her eyes in suspicious confusion. 'You look way too happy about this,' she added, observing the grin. Ressler chuckled to himself, then took another long gulp of his water before handing over the key and responding;   
'You never said _I_ couldn't backseat drive.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up... A straight run of a few chapters I'm probably way too excited about, starting with 'Arrivals -Part 3'.
> 
> That one and the next one *might* be more of a big deal in my head than they are to you guys, simply due to the fact that I've spent this whole story so far working up to them, and I honestly can't believe they're finally here. We are firmly in End Goals territory now, people! Here's to hoping it gets just as exciting for you guys. 
> 
> It's 'Arrivals' in more ways than one, so feel free to start guessing (read: *please* takes some guesses. The more of you, the better! That includes you, my tumblr anon who never misses an update!). If you've been keeping an eye on the timeline and minor plot points yet to wrap up, you might just pick one.


	92. Arrivals - Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Sunday-Wednesday, April 15-18, 2018.
> 
> Here we go! Fun fact, this is one is also what I was alluding to in my end notes for Chapter 82 'Inklings'. If you check the timeline date for both that one and this one, you might notice the little joke I put in there just for myself back then. 
> 
> Enjoy :)

**_SUNDAY NIGHT..._ **

Liz woke up to her phone ringing shrilly through the otherwise deathly silent darkness. She didn't even glance at the time in fact, she barely opened her eyes before reaching blindly across her nightstand from her bed, for her phone and answering it. If she had, she would have noticed that it was well after eleven, almost midnight... And there were few reasons why her phone would ring at that hour.  
'Keen?' She mumbled into the phone, still half asleep.

In under five minutes she was wide awake, and in less than another five minutes after that she was dressed again, pacing as she waited by her front door.

/*/*/*/*

**_MONDAY MORNING..._ **

'Where's Liz?' Samar's voice echoed everyone's thoughts as she stared curiously around the war room. The usual office start time had ticked over, and still Liz wasn't there. By contrast, she and Aram had arrived much earlier, dropped Leila downstairs at the child care centre and then returned, still well before morning briefing was due to start.    
'Agent Keen is taking a personal day,' Cooper's voice boomed from the stairs behind Aram's desk, as he made his way down, 'possibly two or maybe three.' Samar and Aram both furrowed curious, wary brows. Ressler raised a wry eyebrow.  
'Reddington, or Social Services?' He asked drily.   
'The latter,' Cooper observed, giving a short nod. 'She called it in early this morning after they called her late last night. Apparently it's a difficult case-' Samar, Aram, and Ressler all exchanged sympathetic winces '-but we still have a case of our own to deal with, even if Agent Keen isn't here. Given the circumstances, Reddington has miraculously agreed to give her a reprieve and bring his next case straight to us.'

/*/*/*/*

**_MONDAY EVENING..._ **

It took a few minutes after Samar knocked on Liz's front door after work, for Liz to answer... And when she did, it wasn't hard to tell why. There were dark rings under her eyes, her hair was pushed back off her face and pulled into a loose, messy bun –the bare minimum to keep it out of her eyes without needing to spend time on it- and the tiny, blanket wrapped baby girl in her arms who had arrived the night before was wailing in distress. Liz was exhausted and so too, it seemed, was her latest charge.

'Hey,' Liz sighed in greeting, though she shot Samar and Aram a warm smile all the same, 'I wasn't expecting you guys.'  
'We're not expecting hospitality,' Aram softly reassured her, and Samar nodded her agreement. 'But we just wanted to check in and see how you are.' Eyes crinkling wearily, Liz stepped back to let them in. The little girl in her arms let out yet another earsplitting wail as they moved towards the living room, sending Sammy scurrying miserably from where she had stood wrapped around her mother's leg, to the opposite side of the room with her little hands over her ears before throwing herself down on the floor beside one of the armchairs in disgust. Liz rocked the little girl back and forth, murmuring soothing noises in her ear until she quieted again. She shot Samar and Aram an apologetic look, noting that Leila too, had followed Sammy straight into her safe corner, and wrapped her arms around her protectively.   
'Overtired?' Samar asked quietly, lip quirking in sympathy.   
'Yep,' Liz sighed, giving a slow nod. 'If I could get her to sleep I think she'd be ok, but she just won't. Every time I try to put her in the crib she screams until I pick her up again.' She paused, glancing warily at Sammy and Leila peering cautiously out from beside the armchair now that there was quiet again. 'The noise isn't helping Sammy make friends so easily this time, though.' Liz shook her head, pulling a face that was a twisted mix of amusement and concern; early in the morning, she had sat Sammy down on the couch beside her. The baby girl, Amelia, had been quiet in her arms long enough that Liz had thought it time to carefully introduce them. Sammy had been completely unfazed at first –after all, she had always been sociable. But as soon as she squirmed over on the couch, closer to the little girl who was even smaller than she was, and clumsily tried to pat Amelia's tiny fingers... Amelia had started screaming in her face, and Sammy had jumped straight off the couch and gone running across the room as fast as her little legs could carry her.  

And it had all gone downhill after that, with Sammy almost refusing go anywhere near Amelia at all.

Little Amelia was four months old, more or less to the day, with tufts of mousy brown hair and bright green eyes. She had been given up for adoption from birth, through an agency, not the foster system... But her adoptive parents had struggled to bond with her, completely unprepared for and not at all coping with the demands of a newborn wailing through the night, leaving Amelia perpetually struggling to settle and simply passing out from exhaustion after screaming endlessly and then starting all over again once she woke up. Those adoptive parents were at their wits end, no longer willing to try and be patient with her after struggling to form that initial bond. But the problem with that was; though given up through an adoption agency, now that Amelia was no longer a newborn she was faced with going through foster care rather than back through the agency. Social Services was working desperately to counsel her adoptive parents, sending her to Liz at the very least for a day or two so that the parents could catch up on some sleep and be more reasonable in potentially agreeing to take the little girl back and try to bond with her again, but in the meantime she and Liz were in limbo.  

Finally, those bright green eyes flickered open and closed again. Tiny baby fists latched onto Liz's shirt, clinging for dear life, and the unhappy whimpering began to fade.

'Well, at least there's that,' Liz whispered, with a nervous, relieved smile. 'Apparently she screamed even more in her parents' arms than she did in her crib, so if I can just get her to catch up on some sleep and then try to keep her comfortable when she wakes up....' Liz trailed off for a moment, gently tousling those soft tufts of baby hair. Samar nodded slowly in understanding; if little Amelia could just feel comfortable in her surroundings, it would be a breakthrough in reversing her miserable, overtired cycle, and that would make all the difference.    
'Now let's see if we can get Sammy to make friends with her before you move her to the crib,' Samar murmured, just as quietly. She slipped off the couch, crouching on the floorboards just beside Liz's ankles. She turned her gaze to Sammy and Leila, still beside the armchair a few feet away, but now standing, huddled side by side, tightly holding hands. Sammy stood perhaps half a step back from Leila, gazing fearfully at the tiny, noisy menace in Liz's arms that had terrified her all day, while the expression on Leila's face was more frustrated, and more determined. Samar beckoned to both of them, holding Leila's gaze more so than Sammy's. 'Come on, Leila,' she called softly. Leila screwed up her face in response, but warily stepped forwards. Sammy, right behind her and still holding her hand, followed right on her heels. It took a few repeated, gentle gestures of encouragement to coax them both all the way over, but neither Samar, nor Liz, nor Aram wanted to force them and carry them straight across the living room floor to the scenario that scared them. When Sammy and Leila finally reached Samar on their own, Aram scooped them up one by one and then gently lowered them onto the couch beside Liz, giving them each a quick, reassuring cuddle in turn. Samar swiveled on the spot, and Aram shuffled across the couch to sit closer to them.  
'Leila hasn't been screamed at nearly as much,' Aram observed, almost at a whisper so as not to wake Amelia, 'it might be easier to have her approach Amelia first and then have Sammy follow when she sees that it isn't so scary.' Liz and Samar both nodded their prompt agreement.  
'Leila,' Samar began softly, reaching forwards to tousle her daughter's pigtails, 'this is Amelia... She won't hurt you, ladybug.' A breath caught in all their throats as Leila leaned forwards towards Liz and peered down at the bundle of blankets in front of her.   
'Be gentle,' Liz added. Leila hesitated, but reached out slowly with one hand nonetheless. It went a little further than expected, and Samar, Liz, and Aram all braced to quickly jump in and pull her back again if need be... And then Leila's hand curled to point one finger, and promptly prodded Amelia right on the nose.  

Liz winced. Samar took a sharp breath in, and Aram practically jumped out of his skin upon impact... All three of them waiting for yet another earsplitting wail.

...But the noise never came. Amelia remained sleeping soundly, completely unreactive to Leila's unexpected poke.

Liz breathed a deep sigh of relief. Leila's frustrated scowl vanished in an instant in favour of a far more curious expression.  
'Good girl, Leila,' Samar murmured to her, gently rubbing her little girl's back, and planting a proud kiss to her cheek. 'See? Amelia's not so scary.'  
'Your turn, Sammy,' Liz cautiously tried to prompt her little girl –who was still hovering close to Leila, but notably _behind_ her. Sammy's bottom lip popped out, beginning tremble and nervously fret. It nearly broke Liz's heart to see her daughter so afraid. It was important to her that Sammy felt safe with Amelia; Sammy was Liz's daughter first, and her safety and comfort came well before the potential of any possible additions to the household... But though Liz was determined to make it all work the reality was; she only had so many hands. For the moment Amelia wouldn't settle when not in her arms and even once she was asleep she couldn't be moved until she was in a deep enough slumber not to be woken by the movement. That, if Sammy was too afraid to approach the baby girl as well, meant it was near impossible for Liz to hold them both at the same time.

But, Liz was _not_ about to leave her daughter scared and alone, even if it was just a few feet away on the opposite side of the room.

So then, it was a question of slowly, gently showing Sammy that little Amelia was nothing to be afraid of.  

Cautiously, Aram and Samar rearranged Sammy and Leila on the couch next to Liz so that Sammy was closer to her mother. For a moment, Leila made a noise under her breath as if threatening a protest to her friend being moved closer to the danger zone, but the moment Sammy was in Liz's reach, Liz wrapped her free arm straight around her little girl, holding her close and whispering reassuring words in her ear. Sammy buried her face in Liz's side, comfortable there and trusting her mother, but still wary of the bundle of blankets in front of them both.   
'You're such a brave girl, Sammy,' Liz murmured encouragingly to her, kissing the top of her head, 'Amelia's sleeping now, she won't yell if you just hold her hand.' The few seconds of Sammy's nervous hesitation felt like Liz was holding her breath for an eternity; they all watched on silently, waiting to see if Sammy would be willing to reach out to the sleeping baby.

One hand slowly unlatched from Liz's shirt, fingertip by fingertip. Still, she leaned in closely to Liz's side, but that one little hand began to outstretch. It hovered there, just above Amelia's where it poked out of the top of her blanket, before Sammy's fingers finally landed and curled softly around those even tinier ones.  

Not a single sound in response escaped Amelia. She slept on, making no objection. Sammy's eyes went wide, her head turning to stare up at Liz with a tiny gasp of delighted surprise. Still holding Amelia's hand, she broke into a shy grin, and even giggled softly at Amelia beginning to fidget and squirm in her sleep for a second. Liz buried her face in Sammy's hair, pressing gentle, proud kisses to the top of her head until Sammy finally let go of Amelia’s hand.  

'Hey Sammy, can you say _Amelia?'_ Liz asked softly. That might have been pushing her luck, but if Sammy was in a moment of suddenly realising that Amelia was safe, then it certainly didn't hurt to try. Sammy screwed up her face, blinking as if contemplating the very idea.    
'Mellieee,' she babbled in response. Sammy broke into a lopsided grin, completely pleased with herself.  
'Mellie, huh?' Liz laughed softly. 'I guess we can go with that.' A warm smile began to etch its way across her face and she tipped her head down to stage whisper in the ear of the baby girl still asleep in her arm. 'You might want to be careful, Mellie. You keep this up and Sammy might start trying to cuddle you instead of running away.' Sammy let out another giggle, now gazing far more happily at little Amelia. Though still resting leaned into Liz's side, the fearful tension had disappeared from her shoulders now. Leila too, had eased in her hovering just behind her, instead now sitting comfortably beside her, staring at Amelia in equal fascination.  

All three adults watched on wordlessly around the two toddlers, a huge sense of relief filling the air and washing over them.  

Perhaps little Amelia's arrival wasn't something to be worried about after all...

/*/*/*/*

**_WEDNESDAY EVENING..._ **

' _How's Amelia going now? Any word from the parents or Social Services?_ ' Samar had texted Liz once she and Aram were home from work for the day. It was easier than calling, and meant that if Amelia or Sammy were sleeping they wouldn't wake to the phone ringing, or if Liz had her hands full instead, she didn't have to rush to answer the phone either. As it so happened, her response took some fifteen minutes at least to come through.    
' _They're not having much luck,_ ' her message back eventually read, ' _they've asked me to look after Amelia for a few more days while they keep working on it. She's settling ok today, I thought I might bring her into work tomorrow and just stick to desk duty with her in a carrier next to me_.' A contemplative expression crossed Samar's face as she read it; she knew from checking in with Liz via text on and off since Monday evening that Amelia was already sleeping a little better and screaming a little less with each day... Which said something, when contrasted with her parents' insistence that she almost never stopped. She was bonding with Liz already, and that gave them all the more hope that if given a stable, comfortable routine, Amelia would be just fine.   
' _Sounds like a good plan_ ,' Samar quickly typed back, smiling earnestly at the idea despite the fact that Liz couldn't see it.  

'Hey, uh,' Aram's voice sailed into the apartment from the front door behind her; he had ducked out of the apartment and back again once they had set their bags down and settled Leila in front of her toys, to quickly check the mail they had missed on the way up. 'Samar?'   
'Mmmm?' She hummed in response, glancing up from her phone to shoot him a quizzical look when he re-entered the living room.  
'The mail that arrived today...' Aram began, a tiny smile tugging at the corners of his lips. 'Is this what I think it is?' He held up a large envelope as he spoke, one that was both large enough to contain unfolded documents, and that bore a header from the Superior Court of the District of Columbia. Aram broke into a grin, and Samar's eyes widened in surprise the second she saw the logo; that was something they were waiting for, and expecting to arrive any time in the next week... Assuming that it _was_ what they were waiting for.    
'Do you want to open it and find out, or should I?' Samar asked slowly. Her voice was a mix of nervousness and excited anticipation. Her eyes met Aram's and they both fell silent for a moment, sharing that same mix of emotion over the envelope's potential contents.   
'You do it,' Aram said, nodding quickly to emphasize his snap decision. He bounced on the balls of his feet, practically thrusting the envelope towards her. Taking a deep breath, Samar broke the seal and opened the end. She slipped out just enough of the contents to wordlessly read the first few lines... Then pulled the paper out little bit more by little bit more, her smile widening as she read each line further down the top page.   
'It's official,' she said, her voice nearly inaudible as she stared at the top page in amazement. Her eyes flickered up to meet Aram's once more, turning the pages around quickly for him to see. 'Leila's all yours.' Aram took the pages into both hands, gaping at them in disbelief.  

The first was the notice informing them that his petition to adopt Leila had been approved and finalised, and the second was her reissued birth certificate... With his name right there alongside Samar's.  

'This... Almost doesn't feel real,' he breathed. Aram stared at those pages a moment longer; those pages, that changed nothing about how he felt about Leila –he had always loved her as his own no matter what the law or any piece of paper said- and that changed nothing in the routine of including Ressler in Leila's life either... But after months of talking about it, months of waiting, filing, and then _more_ months of waiting, _finally_ those pages did make _official_ everything they all knew inside –and it was all too surreal. Aram dropped the pages carefully back on the counter, then quickly picked up Leila, twirling her around in his arms on the spot and making her squeal in delight. He held her close once he finished turning; his eyes stung and there was a lump of emotion stuck in his throat, but Aram was paying almost no attention to those. 'My little Leila ladybug,' he murmured in Leila's ear. His entire focus in that moment was on her, right there in front of him.    
'Baaaabaa,' she happily babbled back. Leila's wide, hazel eyes stared up at him, holding his gaze, and her tiny hands came up to rest against his stubble.  
'That's right, beautiful girl,' Aram's voice cracked, 'I'm Baba.' Somewhere in the back of his mind it registered that Samar had crept closer enough to him to wrap one arm around his back, and her other around Leila in his arms, while leaning her head on his shoulder. That same mix of emotions was overwhelming for her too; what felt like endless thoughts swirled around in her head but more than anything there was the joy of the three of them being recognised for exactly what they were; a real family. No longer would Aram be separated from them if Leila was to ever have to go through the Emergency Room again, and no longer was there a risk of Leila being taken from him if ever anything was to happen to Samar. All at once the arrival of those two pieces of paper changed nothing, _and_ absolutely everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, Samar and Liz both make some (potentially) life-altering decisions, in 'Juxtaposition'. Yep, that's the one I wrote months and months and months ago and have been sitting, only tweaking on occasion, ever since. I'm pretty excited about it.


	93. Juxtaposition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date: Saturday-Monday, April 28-30, 2018.
> 
> Here we go!!! I'm way too excited about this one. :)

**_MONDAY..._ **

'Aram, I'm _not_ pregnant,' Samar muttered through gritted teeth.   
'You don't know that,' he protested, 'not for a couple more minutes.'  
'Yes, I _do_ know... And I'm telling you; I'm _not_ pregnant.' She raised her head from where she had rested it against her hands when she sat down in a huff to await the test result, and glanced up at Aram pacing back and forth across the room. 'I can't be....'

/*/*/*/*

**_SATURDAY (TWO DAYS EARLIER)..._ **

Aram had always been observant. He picked up patterns quickly, and noticed sudden differences even quicker, to the point where it alarmed some of his less familiar co-workers when he complimented a haircut or new pair of boots like it was yesterday's news. Sometimes, Aram could make an observation without even realising it at first; simply accepting and getting used to basic, seemingly inconsequential routine... Until something suddenly changed, and everything felt off by a beat or two until he figured out what it was. This was one of those evenings; Aram couldn't place what was different, but he knew there was something, and it had gnawed at him all day. 

Samar seemed completely normal, and that bothered Aram further, for something about his churning gut was fixated on her.  

Whatever it was that was different clearly wasn't bothering Samar, though. They were busily finishing up the last of the dishes before going to bed, completely engrossed in their usual routines until her phone suddenly rang where it sat on the kitchen counter beside them.  

'Levi?' She curiously answered the phone when she saw his name flashing on the screen. Aram glanced over as he listened, one eyebrow raised in curiosity all of his own. Samar went quiet, listening to the voice at the other end of the call that from where Aram stood, only sounded like a faint hum through her phone. Her face lit up, and she let out a silent gasp of delighted surprise. 'Levi, that's great!' She spoke again. Samar's free hand came to rest against her own cheek and she bowed her head, smiling softly down at the floorboards below her feet. 'I'm so glad to hear it,' she murmured gently, as the faint hum from her phone went quiet once more. 'Yes, go,' she finally added, with a faint chuckle, 'you should be with Talia. Bye, Levi.' Samar exhaled slowly as she hung up the phone and set it back on the counter. Her expression was difficult to read; mostly happy and thoughtful, but with ever so slight traces of apprehension. She turned on the spot, ready to go back to the previous conversation they had been having over the last of the dishes, but she paused at the quizzical look on Aram's face.

'Levi?' He asked curiously. A small smile tugged at his lips; he could do the math, and he knew what time of year it was. It wasn't hard to make a guess at what Levi had just told her.  
'Yeah,' Samar breathed softly, her eyes still wandering, deep in thought. 'Calling from the hospital,' she added, 'Talia had the twins.' She laughed quietly to herself, reflecting on the sheer, overwhelming delight that had been in Levi's voice –no doubt, due in part to the exhausted delirium after what he claimed was a particularly long labour. Samar glanced up, finally meeting Aram's gaze and smiling more widely this time. 'They had a little girl first, and then a boy twenty two minutes later. They've named them Sara and Isaac.' Aram broke into a delighted grin, darting across the room to her.  
'And they're healthy?' He asked, his face crumpling at the sudden thought of the alternative. The fear didn't last long though; Samar quickly nodded, and Aram beamed once more.  
'Sara's a little on the smaller side, he said,' Samar relayed back to him, 'but other than that they've got a clean bill of health, and Talia too.'  
'We'll have to get them something,' Aram mused, nodding in enthusiasm as if trying to emphasize his own point, 'and we'll have to visit, and let Leila meet her new little cousins...' He paused for a second, shrugging sheepishly, 'or, whatever we're going to call them.'

There was such a unique bond between Samar and Levi now, after the past that had torn them apart and yet, somehow pulled them together forever all the same. There was a deep love there for one another still; one that could never be romantic again, but was nevertheless as strong as ever... And no matter the fact that these days they didn't see each other so often, either one of them could pick up the phone at any moment, call the other, and talk or ask for help as if no time had passed at all. The memory of little Shahin kept them connected even more so than their years of working together... And it was that same memory that made the news of Sara and Isaac's arrival so emotional. It was a reminder of the loss that could never be forgotten, and would always leave a bittersweet feeling, even though they were at peace with it now.  

'Cousins sounds good,' Samar murmured, trying to blink away the stinging feeling in her eyes.   
'Between Riley, Mina, the twins, and little Amelia, that's a whole load of new cousins all at once,' Aram remarked drolly, 'Leila might have to pace herself or she could get way too excited.' Samar let out a laugh at the visual of all the kids together, that was suddenly flashing before her eyes. Aram grinned again, relieved at the laughter he had been trying to draw out to cheer her up.  
'I don't think it was excitement that had her and Sammy running _away_ from Amelia at first,' Samar deadpanned in response, 'hopefully she doesn't freak out at the twins as well.'  
'True,' Aram conceded, chuckling at the same idea.  

And then all of a sudden, his expression changed. Realisation, shock, and some twisted mix of horror and delight all flashed across his face at once.

All of a sudden, Aram knew what was different.

'You're late,' he gasped. It took Samar a second to realise what he was talking about, but the moment Aram dashed through the apartment and lunged for the calendar on the bedroom wall, she understood.   
'Yeah, by all of two days,' she observed, following him and furrowing her brow in confusion at the sight of him trying to count out each of the little boxes that represented a day. 'So what?' Aram shifted his gaze from the calendar and stared back at her with a completely dazed expression.  
'So,' he started slowly, 'Samar, you could be _pregnant_.' That was what had felt off. Samar had her little routines that always went hand in hand with that time of the month, and Aram was so used to the quirks that half the time he didn't even notice them... Until now. Time seemed out of sorts because things hadn't happened when he had –albeit without realising- expected them to.  

Samar practically choked as soon as the words came out of his mouth.  

'I can assure you, I'm _not_ pregnant,' she said nonchalantly.   
'But-' Aram tried to protest, until Samar cut him off.  
'-I'm only _two_ days late,' she observed, resting one hand on his arm in an effort to try and calm him down before he became too excited. 'That means nothing. You've just got babies on the brain, with Liz looking after Amelia, and Levi and Talia having their twins.' Samar rolled her eyes, teasing him; 'it doesn't mean _I'm_ pregnant too.'  
'It would be a great coincidence,' Aram said slowly, his voice rising and his grin widening with each syllable. Samar tried to hold back a grimace; he _was_ excited already, just at the _idea_. 'You and Liz could be baby buddies again.'  
'Don't get so excited,' she commented, outright this time. 'That's not going to magically make me pregnant.' Really, the idea was laughable but regardless, Aram remained completely convinced.   
'Come on,' he pleaded, 'at least take a pregnancy test.'   
'No,' Samar scoffed. She shook her head in exasperation, and allowed her arm to fall back to her side, but Aram was determined.   
'Why not?' He begged her.  
'Because I'm only _two_ days late,' she repeated. Samar turned and headed for the bathroom to brush her teeth, muttering under her breath as she did so; 'that would be ridiculous.'  
'But what if you _are_ pregnant?' Aram asked again, calling after her and then poking his head around the bathroom door to shoot her that pleading look all over again. Samar gave a lengthy sigh, and raised her eyes to the ceiling as if begging the universe to make him stop.  

She knew; Aram just wasn't going to let this go until he absolutely had to.  

/*/*/*/*

**_MONDAY..._ **

'Aram, I'm _not_ pregnant,' Samar muttered through gritted teeth.   
'You don't know that,' he protested, 'not for a couple more minutes.'  
'Yes, I do know... And I'm telling you; I'm not pregnant.' She raised her head from where she had rested it against her hands when she sat down in a huff to await the test result, and glanced up at Aram pacing back and forth across the room. 'I can't be....'  
'Let's back up a minute,' he started. Samar rolled her eyes. 'You're late.'  
'That doesn't mean I'm pregnant, women the world over are late sometimes.' Aram shot her a look.  
'You're never late,' he observed.  
'You pay far too much attention.'  
'Don’t change the subject.'  
'Stress can delay it,' Samar tried to reason with him, 'and I don't feel nauseous, or any more tired than usual.'  
'Samar...' Aram sighed.  
'Aram, this is _normal_. If you hadn't jumped to conclusions and become so excited, I wouldn't have even done the damn test unless I was at least a _week_ late.' Aram opened his mouth to respond, but the stopwatch function on his phone beeped, interrupting his train of thought and signalling something far more important; the test was ready. Aram bounded the last few steps across the room to the counter, while Samar reluctantly rose from the couch and trailed along behind. Aram reached it first, not even stopping to wait for her before he picked up the test and looked eagerly at the result.  

His face crumpled before Samar even managed to peek over his shoulder.

'Ok... You're _not_ pregnant,' Aram sighed dejectedly, handing it over for Samar to see. Samar took one quick glance at it, only confirming what she had been so sure she already knew, before focusing more intently on the disappointed frown and drooping shoulders that Aram wasn't even trying to hide. He sighed again, knowing what was going through her mind. 'Don't say it,' he grumbled. Samar gently patted his arm; he had driven her crazy the last day and half over the very idea, and she wasn’t surprised in the slightest to have been right all along... But she wasn't about to rub it in. This wasn't a situation where she wanted to say 'I told you so.'  
'I wasn't going to,' she murmured back. The was a strange pang in her own voice that Aram couldn't identify. It wasn't quite disappointment, but she didn't sound nearly pleased enough either. She had been so fiercely trying to convince him it wasn't possible, and he had resisted arguing every reason why it was. He knew she knew it even better than he did; Leila's surprise arrival had defied the odds too. But it was almost as if Samar was thinking that very same thought, and she was trying to convince herself as well as him... And in the meantime, she had started to brace for –and even contemplate- the very real possibility of it happening again. Samar slowly turned and wandered away, across the room and down the hallway, a strange, thoughtful look etched across her face. Aram watched her go, but opted not to follow. Whatever she was thinking, she was sure to come back and tell him later once she had thought it through. For now though, she needed time to process whatever it was.  

Samar meanwhile, wandered quietly into Leila's room, and sat on the floor staring through the bars of the crib at her little girl napping, as she had done so many times before. She _had_ been thinking, since before Aram even connected the dots in fact, about what it would mean if that test had come up with the opposite result; another surprise. And the interesting realisation that Samar had come to, was that if there was another surprise, she wouldn't be at all upset. She wouldn't immediately jump for joy –at least not until the shock had passed, anyway- but she wouldn't be upset. She wouldn't be angry, nor would she be disappointed. Aram would undoubtedly be pleased and they would, albeit with some stress, probably manage to make it work and then adjust to the idea easily, just as they had with Leila. Another child wasn't what Samar desperately wanted, but she wasn't as strictly _against_ the idea as she thought she would have been. Samar stared thoughtfully at Leila as she continued to ponder, reaching through the bars to gently grasp those little fingers, and letting out a soft smile as she watched her sleep so peacefully, totally oblivious to the drama around her. Leila mumbled to herself in her sleep and rolled over, now facing Samar and tightly clutching her hand. Samar held back a laugh at Leila clinging to her fingers, momentarily stunned at just how normal it felt. Leila was only a few months shy of two, and as Samar continued to watch her, she found it hard to imagine a life without her daughter now.  

That earlier realisation had made Samar wonder further... Whether a positive test result would necessarily have been a bad thing after all.  

/*/*/*/*

Between Angus moving back, Liz taking in Amelia, and now Levi's twins arriving, Samar felt as though life was oddly stagnant. Not that she wasn't content with life as it was currently at all -she was _quite_ content in fact- but after having spent most of her life before Leila decidedly _not_ settled down, there was that strange feeling now of standing idly by while everyone else's lives hurtled forwards around her instead.

And then her phone rang.  

She had wandered out of Leila's room, bypassed returning to the living room where Aram was busily trying to distract himself from the same dilemma with something computer-related, and instead moved on to the bedroom where she curled up, reading her book.  

Or at least, Samar was trying to read her book. In reality she was distracted by the swirling thoughts, by the crazy ideas forming in her brain, by the worry she was growing boring, and most of all by the desperate want for Aram to know all of it, even though she wasn't quite ready to have that conversation yet. Samar turned her head, glancing half-heartedly at her phone sitting on the nightstand beside her, that was the first thing to really catch her attention there in hours.  

Liz's name flashed on the screen.

With a small sigh, Samar gritted her teeth and picked it up.  
'Hey Liz,' she said, trying to sound upbeat. There was a pause, where the line went quiet until Liz's voice came through, but it was nervous... Shaky, even.  
'Samar?' She began cautiously, 'I need you to stop me from doing something completely crazy.' Samar sat bolt upright on the bed, her eyes wide with alarm.  
'Liz, what are you talking about?' She asked quickly. Liz had her full attention now. Through the line she heard Liz take a sharp breath in... And then she let it all out.  
'Social Services called,' she hurriedly launched into her explanation, 'they've been trying and trying, but they can't convince Amelia's original adoptive parents not to back out like they want to, so unless something changes I have her indefinitely.'  
'Ok....' Samar murmured slowly in acknowledgement as soon as there was a pause, but not sure whether she really should or shouldn't. She was curious, wondering what on earth the crazy thing was that Liz was so nervous about.  
'I want to adopt her, Samar.' Ah, there it was. And yet somehow, the nervousness in Liz's voice was mixed with determination. 'I think I'm going to do it. I don't understand how anyone can take her from the day she's born and then four months later decide they just don't _want_ her anymore. Just like that. I mean, I've had her for what? _Two weeks?_ And already I don't think I could let her go. But isn't that _insane?_ To just decide in all of _five_ minutes that this is what I want to do?'

Samar bit her lip as she thought about it for a second.

'Actually... I don't think It's insane at all.' There was a slowness, and an adamance of her own with which she said it. Samar took a breath. She furrowed her brow, but it didn't matter how long she thought about it. Through the phone she could practically hear the breath catch in Liz's throat.  
'You... What?' Liz breathed in response.  
'You didn't make this decision in five minutes, Liz,' Samar murmured. 'You've known for years you wanted to adopt, and you've spent so much of that time trying to figure out how. Now that a situation is actually happening where it's possible, I don't think it's insane. I think you'd be more insane _not_ to at least _think_ about it.' A small smile tugged at Samar's lips, no matter the fact that through the phone, Liz couldn't see it. 'Besides, I'm pretty sure you had already decided before you even hit speed dial to ask me to tell you just that... Right?'  
'I kind of hate you right now for knowing that,' Liz sighed, in both defeat and amusement. Samar swung her legs around to the edge of the bed, using her free hand to absent-mindedly set her book back on the nightstand as she rose to her feet. A curious expression crossed her face, as if her thoughts almost weren't with Liz's crazy situation at all, all of a sudden.  
'I know,' she chuckled softly. 'But I still think you should do it. It's your hesitation now, that's the clincher. You're worrying about whether you're doing the right thing, and in this case I think that's how you know you really are.'   
'But how do you know that for sure?' Samar's cautious smile only widened at Liz's question.  
'Because,' she said slowly, 'I have my own crazy thing I need to do.'                     

/*/*/*/*

Slowly but surely, Samar wandered back out into the main living area. Aram stood in the kitchen, quietly making himself a coffee. He met her gaze for a moment, as she re-entered the room, but traces of the earlier disappointment still lingered on his face. Samar continued on into the kitchen, stopping just beside him and then turning, leaning back against the counter.  

'I was thinking...' She started carefully, before trailing off again.   
'About?' Aram didn't even pull his eyes away from the spoon he was using to stir the contents of his mug as he spoke.   
'The idea of having another child.' In an instant, Aram looked up warily, eyeing the deliberately neutral expression on Samar's face. Her entire body language was difficult to read; her shoulders were relaxed, her arms were neither folded nor hanging loose by her sides but rather, one hand rested on the counter beside her while the other toyed with the edge of her shirt. Her head was turned to face him directly. Whatever it was that she was about to suggest to him, whatever it was that she had been quietly thinking about all day, was something that had her both curious, and even slightly nervous, but determined all the same. Whatever it was, it was something that was significant to her.  
'I thought you didn't want another one,' Aram replied softly, his brow furrowed in confusion. As far as he knew, his disappointment was just that; _his_ disappointment.   
'What I didn't want, was to give up my career,' Samar corrected him, albeit gently. That she didn't want children was something she had once thought _before_ little Shahin, and then swore vehemently to Levi _after_ little Shahin, and to everyone else after that again... Until Leila. Leila had changed _everything_. 'But... Being both an agent _and_ having Leila hasn't been as difficult as I thought it would be,' she added slowly. Aram held his breath, hopeful and not interrupting. Instead he wanted to let Samar get through her full train of thought aloud, so that he could see where it was going. 'I don’t want to _try_ for another one...' She spoke again, and for a second Aram's heart felt like it dropped into his stomach whole. 'But what if we just stop trying _not_ to have one, and see what happens?'

Aram's eyes widened in shock. The coffee on the counter in front of him now sat there, completely forgotten.  

'You really want to do that?' He breathed. Inside, he tried to stop himself from growing too excited, just in case there was something he had misunderstood. Samar didn't seem to have the best track record with the Pill. Leila's surprise arrival had come in spite of it, and so too had little Shahin's. And Aram knew, twice was just a coincidence while it took three times to be a trend... But he had been hoping for a while that a third instance might have been _just_ around the corner.

Though, only so far as the idea that Samar might be ok with it too. It wasn't something Aram wanted if it was going to make her desperately unhappy. Her happiness, to him, meant far more than any possible hope of expanding their family.  

'Well, if you think about it... The second time around is supposed to be easier, right?' Samar shrugged her shoulders, and offered him an awkward, but hopeful smile. 'There's none of that jarring transition to parenthood from a life without children. It's simply adding to the workload. I'm more than happy with Leila... If we don't have another child, I'm not going to feel like I'm missing out, but if another one _happens_ to come along, I wouldn't complain.' Aram narrowed his eyes, just ever so slightly.  
'Just how long have you been thinking about this?' He asked, with a wry smile. Samar couldn't help but grin all of a sudden.   
'On and off all day,' she replied, all too matter of factly. Just like that, Samar hopped up onto the counter behind her, now relaxing her hands against her knees, and tilting her head slightly to still face him there, standing just by her side.     
'You're making that decision in _one day?'_ Aram practically yelped. He stared back at her, almost stunned –albeit pleasantly so.   
'I've made bigger decisions in less time.' Samar shrugged nonchalantly once again. 'What do you think the chances are?'  
'Of it actually happening?' Aram screwed up his face, thinking it over, as Samar nodded just as contemplatively. 'Well, they say the chances of falling pregnant decrease rapidly after thirty.'  
'I had Leila at just shy of thirty six,' she countered drolly.  
'True. But the chances keep decreasing every year closer to forty, and you're thirty seven now. You'll be thirty eight in October...'  
'Thank you for _that_ reminder.' Aram's gaze snapped instantly back from where it had absent-mindedly dropped to the floor as he thought it over, to Samar's at her wry tone. Aram shot her a guilty grin, and shrugged sheepishly in response.  
'You asked me what the chances are, I'm just going through everything.'  
'I know. Keep going.' Samar nodded again, and Aram went back to weighing up all the factors in his mind.  
'So...' He began again slowly, breaking the silence of a brief pause, then shooting Samar a mischievous grin; 'assuming that we have a regular enough sex life which, you know-' Aram teasingly waggled his eyebrows '-we do-' Samar rolled her eyes in mock exasperation '-and as you said, we stop trying _not_ to fall pregnant, per se...' Aram paused again for a moment, taking a short breath before arriving at his conclusion; 'it's not a given, but it's certainly not impossible.' Samar nodded slowly, a tiny, thoughtful smile tugging at her lips.   
'That's what I thought too,' she murmured.  

Another momentary silence fell between them, cautious but excited grins slowly appearing on both their faces as the meaning of their agreed conclusion fully sunk in.  

'Are we really doing this?' Aram breathed.   
'Do you want to?' The second the hopeful question left her lips, Aram lurched forwards and wrapped his arms around Samar's waist where she sat on the counter. Samar's legs wrapped around him as he lifted her up and spun her around the kitchen in joyous excitement, making her burst out laughing.  
'Absolutely.' Gently, Aram set her back on her feet. Samar's arms slid over his shoulders, her fingers interlocking behind his neck, pulling him in closer and pressing an adoring kiss to his lips.   
'Then, yes. We're doing this.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> But... Will a new Blacklister make any or all of them reconsider their decisions? That's a challenge for the next chapter, 'Courage'.
> 
> Updated family tree for Amelia, Sara, and Isaac;  
> [](https://www.flickr.com/gp/152300685@N03/z1DhUE)


	94. Courage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date: Monday, May 14, 2018.
> 
> Warning for canon-typical violence and themes.

It didn't matter how many days passed since the monumental decision made two weeks earlier, every morning Samar woke up to an odd, but pleasant sense of being overwhelmed. The pill strip that was once a fundamental part of her nightly routine still sat on the nightstand next to her pillow, but in those fourteen days Samar hadn't touched it once. That in itself felt strange; with the exception of her two previous pregnancies, she hadn't once stopped taking the Pill in years. But now, it was to stay there staring at her and remain untouched, the curious and even somewhat nerve-wracking reminder of the caution she and Aram were now throwing to the wind. The delayed period had come and gone and now... There was the indefinite game of waiting and seeing if and when anything would happen. There was a certain thrill there, in never knowing what exactly was to come next. Every night together came with the knowledge that it might be the one night that changed everything all over again, or it might not.  

There was no denying that with that in mind, there had been a small, but still notable spike in their intimate moments, out of sheer excitement at the fact that they were most definitely _not_ trying for another child... Or so they told themselves, anyway.

That combination of excitement and terror at the very idea, and at the things they were potentially signing themselves up for, despite the difficult memories of Samar's past, still swirled and lingered in the back of her mind. It had her stomach doing backflips every time she thought about it, no matter where she was...

...Such as now, in the middle of the war room, while Reddington presented his newest case.

Samar wasn't the only one who felt unsettled on a personal level at the details of the new case. It was the very day after Mother's Day, and of all the cases Reddington could have brought them on such a day, he had picked a Blacklister who specialised in child smuggling.  

Or to be more specific; a Blacklister who _posed_ as an adoption agent for American families wanting to adopt orphaned children from South America –and then smuggled over the border- but in reality scammed them out of their money by introducing them to their prospective child in a public place to gain their trust, _then_ taking their money, and then whisking both the money and the child away, never to be seen again. In the meantime, the families were left heartbroken, and the children left in sweatshops that in turn, funded the entire operation in the first place.   

Needless to say, with Liz now balancing work with meetings with Social Services to file her application to adopt Amelia, the case hit all too close to home for her too.  

'Aram, look into the website The Shepherd used to bait the prospective families,' Cooper ordered, as Reddington moved towards the elevator. Cooper gritted his teeth slightly, not making any effort to hide his distaste for the name their latest Blacklister used to refer to himself. 'See if there's anything there you can use to track where he is-' Aram nodded, and began tapping away at his keyboard '-Ressler, Keen-' Cooper continued, then paused yet again, glancing around the room with a furrowed brow, searching for Liz '- _where_ is Agent Keen?' Ressler, Samar, and Aram all glanced around the room in turn, but could only offer wordless, confused responses. Liz, it seemed, had slipped away after Reddington. 'Ressler, you and Samar go interview the most recent family,' Cooper ordered instead, 'take their statement. See if they can tell us anything useful.' Ressler and Samar both nodded their own agreement to the order, each turning on their heels to head towards the elevator.  

Behind the concrete columns, just out of view of Samar and Ressler passing towards the elevator's rumbling doors, Liz pulled Reddington aside, notably unsettled and unimpressed.

'Why this case, _today_ of all days?' She asked, teeth gritted in frustration.  
'Why not?' Reddington quipped back, painfully calm as always. 'We're talking about a man who is using helpless children to scam innocent parents out of their hard earned money, and denying both the opportunity to have the families they so desire. I would have thought that was a case well within the purview of your taskforce.'   
'I'm supposed to file my application to adopt Amelia today,' Liz commented. There was a flatness to her voice, not one of defeat, but one of weariness. She was too tired with everything else going on, to deal with Reddington's curious, hidden intentions.   
'Congratulations, Lizzie.' Reddington's lip curled into his trademark wry smile as he chirped, changing the subject; 'I've been meaning to ask, when do I get to meet this new little one of yours?'  
'Don't play games with me, Reddington,' Liz snapped back, 'the first time I tried to adopt, you brought us The Cyprus Agency in order to convince me not to. Now I'm finally trying to adopt again, and you bring us _this_ case? This guy has been scamming families for months. You could have brought us this case at any point, and you pick _now?'_   They had made such progress of late, towards working together, being honest with one another, and Reddington not interfering where Liz didn't want him to. The sudden appearance of this case and his return to indirect interference now seemed an anomaly, and that only served to emphasize the unsettled feeling churning in Liz's gut. Adopting another child had been a goal she had worked towards for so long, and now that she _finally_ had a chance with little Amelia, she did not want anything else getting in the way and tearing that achievement from her yet again. Even the initial excitement over Angus' return and the fluttering in her stomach of potential attraction, had been laid to the wayside –at least temporarily anyway, given the difficulty in doing so- to focus solely on building the little family of herself, Sammy, _and_ Amelia too.   
'Elizabeth, I assure you that this case is not meant to be any kind of angle,' Reddington insisted, 'but either way, would you really want to let this case slide for another week, to allow this to potentially happen to yet _another_ family, simply because you don't appreciate my timing?' A look of thunder crossed Liz's face, rendering her momentarily speechless in her utter frustration as Reddington moved to head back towards the elevator.  
'Don't you dare turn this back on me,' Liz finally spluttered in disgust. But, it was too late. The rumbling doors closed behind Reddington's back, with Dembe right beside him. Liz gave a sigh, choosing instead to focus on the phone beginning to ring in her pocket rather than on chasing Reddington down. The timing of the case still grated at her, but in a way Reddington was right; she couldn't allow her personal frustrations get in the way of bringing The Shepherd down.

/*/*/*/*

Samar and Ressler sat in the living room of the woman who was the latest of seventeen prospective adoptive families scammed by The Shepherd. She was understandably devastated and bitter; she had fallen in love with the five year old boy she had planned to adopt, from the moment The Shepherd had introduced her to him at a local park. From there, it had taken little to convince her to hand over the cash described as 'administrative fees and transport charges', and now she was angry –at The Shepherd, at the universe, and at herself for falling for the scam to boot.

'Mrs Dennison,' Samar gently tried to prompt her again, 'are you sure there's nothing you can tell us about the man in the park?'  
' _No_ ,' the woman burst out, choking back an angry sob. Samar and Ressler both winced; the woman was lashing out, not with the intent of being nasty, but out of sheer frustration and overwhelming emotion at what had happened. They had tried to gently prompt her in a half dozen ways to tell them anything that could help them identify and track the man, but it was no use.  
'Please, Mrs Dennison,' Ressler added softly, 'anything you could tell us could help us find The Shepherd, and maybe even help us find that little boy.'  
'All my focus was on Mateo,' she snapped back, 'why would I think for a second to focus on the man rather than my little boy?' The woman rose from her seat and began to pace furiously back and forth across the room, wringing her hands.   
'Did you ever meet him in an office or anything like that?' Samar gently pressed again, though she couldn't help but feel the urge to wince at the inevitable response.   
'Aren't you listening?' Mrs Dennison exclaimed, 'I only ever met him at the park when he introduced me to Mateo. He said he preferred open spaces, so that families and the children could feel more comfortable.' Ressler and Samar exchanged wary looks; public places only meant there was no address to investigate, and no name on an office space lease to trace either.   
'Mrs Dennison-' Samar tried to speak again, but the woman only cut her off, shooting her a filthy glare.   
'-You don't have kids do you, Agent Navabi,' she spat. Samar paused without responding, taken by surprise at the question... But Mrs Dennison only took that as an affirmative to her question. 'I thought not. A real mother would understand; I just want to be able to bring my little boy home.'

Samar gritted her teeth at the remark, but otherwise held her tongue. The comment stung even more than Samar would have expected, but she tried to tell herself that it was simply a matter of the woman being too emotional and saying things she didn't necessarily mean as a result. After all, Samar wasn't exactly innocent of doing such things herself at times, either. However, that didn't ease the sting. No matter what Mrs Dennison believed, she really did care, and she really was sympathetic. Cases involving children had always struck a nerve, and even more so now that she had Leila. Those cases reminded her of her own difficult childhood after her parents passed, and now of Leila too. But, becoming too emotional in response meant that Samar couldn't focus as well on the case as she'd like. It didn't surprise her that her blunt professionalism could be mistaken for coldness at times but in reality, she just didn't want anything getting in the way of solving the case with the best possible outcome.

Samar was relentless in that way, and even Ressler knew it. He didn't turn to glance at her after the comment –after all, that would only bring unwanted attention to her efforts to bite her tongue- but he did take it as the cue that they were getting nowhere with the interview.  

'That is exactly what we are trying to do, Mrs Dennison.' Ressler's voice was calm, but firm, as he stood from his seat and handed over one of his business cards from his jacket pocket, 'if you think of anything, please call us.' Mrs Dennison nodded, taking the card without protest, but still seeming glad to lead them towards the front door and wave them into the SUV.

'You ok?' Ressler finally murmured to Samar, once contained within the privacy of the car. Samar gave a small, wary nod, but couldn't quite meet his eye.  
'I'm good,' she muttered back. Her eyes wandered though, and Ressler took that to mean her words weren't necessarily true, but he shouldn't press further either.   
'Ok.'  

Samar stared out the side window as the SUV began to roll forwards; it wasn't just being mistaken for cold that irked her. It was being mistaken for someone who couldn’t understand the pain of a real mother who simply loved her children, when she and Aram had so recently considered expanding their own family. They really weren't _trying_ in the truest sense of the word –there was no counting days or measuring temperatures to figure out the best moment to conceive, or taking any form pre-natal vitamins that supposedly increased chances- but there was no longer any attempt to _stop_ herself from falling pregnant either. It was _not_ -trying, as Aram jokingly referred to it in the privacy of their own apartment, and even _that_ was a somewhat frightening concept to face after her past insistence against having children.  

Mrs Dennison's comment only made that decision more terrifying, making Samar wonder if it really was the right one, after all.  

/*/*/*/*

Between Samar's subdued expression as she confronted the idea of not-trying, and Liz's frustrations at working an adoption scam case while she herself was both trying to adopt, and hold back growing feelings too, the atmosphere in the war room was tense. Aram knew exactly what they were both battling inside after Ressler quietly informed him in passing what Mrs Dennison had said to Samar, and even Ressler could figure out some of what bothered each of them too.  

Interviewing all the other prospective parents proved as difficult and fruitless as Mrs Dennison. Aram's tracing of The Shepherd's website activity proved equally unsuccessful; it seemed the site was accessed only by the families, and by internet cafes or libraries -and a different one each time, all of which either had no surveillance cameras, or only had broken ones. The Shepherd was clever, covering his tracks with the simplest means.  

It took Reddington, reaching out through his contacts and offering to invest in The Shepherd's scheme, to earn them even the most vague sense of progression in the case. It earned them not a name, not a face, a meeting, or an address... But a phone call. It was a short call; The Shepherd was clearly wary of the call being traced. But, Aram was quicker. He traced the call barely a second before it cut out, to a warehouse on the outskirts of town... Where the team was now ready to breach.  

According to the thermal imaging from the surveillance helicopter circling above, there were approximately twenty two moving bodies inside, seventeen of which appeared to be smaller than the other five.  

Liz and Ressler lead alternate halves of the larger SWAT team stationed at opposite ends of the building. They had no idea what, if any, weapons could be found inside, and it was crucial to evacuate as many of the children, as quickly and as quietly as possible, before any exchange of gunfire took place.

Samar was carefully positioned on a rooftop across the street that allowed her full view of every window along the long side of the building, scanning each and every one continuously through the scope of her sniper rifle.  She watched, as Liz, Ressler, and their respective teams quietly breached the warehouse, sneaking slowly along through its winding corridors and guided by Aram watching the thermal imagery feed. One by one, children as young as three and as old as eleven, were pulled gently out of the building, while The Shepherd's lackeys who were guarding them, were just as quietly subdued. Samar could see The Shepherd busily working in his office, completely obvious to what was going on... Or so they thought.  

'I count twelve kids evacuated, and four guards down,' Ressler murmured over the comms.  
'I count the same,' Liz whispered back, 'that leaves five more kids, and The Shepherd to go.' She poked her head around the doorway to the next room she had to clear, gesturing silently to the two children inside to make their way out. 'Sending two more out, Samar,' she added quietly.   
'I see them,' Samar replied a minute later, spotting the two children running out into the crowd outside where Social Services officials were waiting. 'But guys, The Shepherd is moving, and I can't quite see where he's going. Be careful.'   
'I see him,' Aram quickly spoke up, eyeing the thermal imagery on the computer screen in front of him, back at the Post Office. 'You've got about two minutes.' Liz and Ressler pushed onwards, each cautiously rounding corners and finally meeting in the middle. With silent hand signals, they cleared opposite ends of the centre room, ducking behind columns of the filthy factory floor as they moved towards the final three kids caught in the middle... Until a sudden movement caught both their eyes, and made them freeze.

A sinking feeling settled very quickly in both their guts.

'What do you think you're doing?' Came the unexpectedly calm, sadistic voice from across the room. There was a muffled, terrified sob, as The Shepherd came into view, with a tight grasp on one of those three, final kids, and his gun grazing against the dark curls that framed the baby cheeks. The other two went running away in fear, but The Shepherd paid them no attention. His eyes were hollow and icy, focused hauntingly on Liz and Ressler with a curling, snarling smile. Both of them had their own weapons raised, pointed directly at The Shepherd, but Ressler's gaze couldn't help but flicker down to the face of the little boy being used as a human shield.

Mateo, if he remembered Mrs Dennison's photo correctly.  

'You even think about keeping those weapons up any longer, and this sniffling menace won't live to see tomorrow,' The Shepherd sneered. Liz and Ressler both held his gaze, teeth gritted and expressions steeled in determination. Little Mateo whimpered at the sharp nails cutting tightly into his skin. The entirety of his tiny body shook with fear... But The Shepherd only widened his sadistic grin.

A breath caught in Samar's throat as she watched it all unfold through her scope. She cautiously adjusted her position, trying to gain a better view of The Shepherd hovering just behind the little boy. She waited for the two who went running from the factory floor to appear on the street outside, and then she knew... The only child left in that building was the one squirming just in the outer edges of her scope.

...And Samar was _not_ about to let their operation recover all but _one_ of those innocent orphans.

She shifted her scope upwards just ever so slightly, concentrating solely on the visual, and not on the voice of Liz and Ressler in her ear, still trying to talk The Shepherd down. Samar took a deep breath, and then another, trying to slow down her heart rate when it felt like it was about to burst out of her chest. There was a hesitation in her mind about what she was about to do; if Liz and Ressler didn’t lower their weapon, The Shepherd would undoubtedly shoot Mateo without a single second’s thought, but if they did lower their weapons, the Shepherd would use Mateo as leverage to get out of the building and then probably still shoot him anyway. Samar hated the idea that the only way out of this for that little boy was to shoot his captor dead right in front of him, but there really was no other option.

Samar took another breath, placing all hope in the idea that as soon as he was released from his captor’s grasp, Mateo would lurch forward away from him without looking back, and that if Liz grabbed him after that, the little boy would never actually have to see the body behind him.

The Shepherd's shuffling on the spot pushed Mateo just enough out of her line of sight, and himself directly into it.  

'I have a shot,' Samar murmured into her comms, quietly but firmly all the same. 'Permission to fire?' There was a delay with no response, and another breath caught in Samar's throat as The Shepherd continued to shuffle on the spot.   
'Permission granted,' Cooper's authoritative voice echoed back in her ear. 'Fire at will.' Samar took one more breath, lining up her scope for one last time in sync with The Shepherd's shuffling. Her finger wrapped cautiously around the trigger and then... She squeezed.

The shot rang out across the street, soaring through the glass panes of the warehouse until it struck The Shepherd square between the eyes.

Mateo let out a terrified scream as his captor's body instantly crumpled to the ground behind him. Liz and Ressler both lurched forwards, Ressler kicking The Shepherd's dropped weapon out of the way, and Liz immediately pulling the shaking, little boy towards her and holding him close.   
'The Shepherd is down,' Ressler muttered through the comms, 'and all seventeen kids are accounted for. We're clear.' He and Liz shared relieved glances over the little boy's shoulder. Across the street, up on the rooftop where she was hurriedly pacing up her rifle, Samar shared in the exact same deep, relieved sigh.  

All three of their guts still churned... But the case was closed.  

/*/*/*/*

Out on the street in the cool of the evening, the flashing lights of the long line of ambulances lit up the walls of the tall buildings around the warehouse. Social Services and food delivery people only added to the crowd identifying all the kids, checking them all over, wrapping them in warmer clothes and blankets, and filling their grumbling bellies. Ressler occupied himself liaising with Metro PD officers also on scene. Samar ran back and forth between the kids and the various responders, ensuring that each and every child was tended to... And Liz slowly worked her way through the list of parents' phone numbers, informing all of them of the recovery of the seventeen children.  

'How are you feeling, Lizzie?' A calm, quiet voice came from behind her, as she hung up call number eleven. Liz glanced wearily back over her shoulder; Reddington stood there, interrupting the thoughts swirling anxiously around inside her head.         
'When did you get here?' She asked, against her better judgement. Red's lip simply twitched in response to the question, and that was all Liz needed to know that was the only response she was going to get. 'Tired,' she relented with a small sigh. 'Relieved it's all over, I guess.' Reddington took the two more steps forward to stand beside her, staring thoughtfully out at the crowd of responders and flashing red and blue lights before him.  
'Do you know why I brought you this case?' He asked quietly. Liz furrowed her brow, shifting her confused gaze back to him once more.   
'Why?'  
'You were apprehensive about Amelia.' Still, Reddington didn't quite meet her eye. 'As determined as you are to adopt her, you've always been apprehensive about making sure you do the right thing.' Finally, he turned his head, offering Liz a small, contemplative smile. 'Adopting Amelia will have a profound impact on her life; it will spare her the frustration of being bounced from foster home to foster home for the next eighteen years and most importantly, it will give her a family that loves her infinitely... Just as will happen to all of these children you've rescued today.' Liz's eyes went wide in understanding, and a breath caught sharply in her throat.   
'You wanted to convince me that I was doing the right thing,' she murmured. This time, the case wasn't timed to stop her from going through with an adoption. Instead, it served to waive any tiny, lingering doubts, and ensure she went through with it.       
'You've always been stubborn, Elizabeth,' Reddington nodded as he spoke. 'You see a situation like this, and it doesn't scare you away, it only serves to make you all the more determined.' He smiled softly, as Liz turned again to stare back out at the children scattered through the crowd in front of her, with thick blankets draped over their shoulders, and gnawing hungrily on slices of pizza. 'Have courage, Lizzie. You're doing the right thing.' It took a moment for those final words to echo in Liz's ear enough for them to actually register in her mind, but by the time she turned back to respond... Reddington was gone. Again. She furrowed her brow, deep in contemplation as she stared at the next name on the list in her hand.

Somehow, between the sight of all the children finally safe and sound, and Reddington's curious words... All semblance of swirling anxiety felt like it was fading.  

/*/*/*/*

It was late by the time they all returned to the Post Office. Aram greeted them with a warm smile as they ambled tiredly one by one out of the elevator. The case had eaten away at all of them all day, and they were glad to be back.  

'I have good news,' Aram announced, at the small smiles they were all trying to offer him in response to the greeting. That piqued their attention; 'every one of those kids you guys rescued today is being sent to the families who were supposed to adopt them, tonight.' Samar, Liz, and Ressler all exchanged amazed glances.    
'They're all allowed to stay here?' Liz asked, her eyes wide in relief and surprise.  There had been some doubt, given that all seventeen had been smuggled illegally across the border. By the time they had left the scene, and Social Services had transported the kids away, there still wasn't a clear answer on the issue.   
'All seventeen of them.' Aram grinned widely as he spoke. 'Social Services is all over it; identifying them, sorting out their adoption visas, and everything else.'  
'They're going to need therapy after today, at the very least,' Ressler added, the expression on his face darkening in concern. Mateo in particular, who had been grabbed by The Shepherd at the last minute before Samar's shot, had seemed fine once he had food in his belly, but they were all chalking that up to shock.   
'That's being organised too,' Aram said, nodding earnestly.   
'Good.' Samar turned her attention back to Liz, as Ressler turned quietly from the group and disappeared towards his office. None of them took any offence; after all, they all wanted to go home after the long day, and he had far more reports to deal with as team leader, than the rest of them did. Samar raised a curious eyebrow, and offered Liz a gentle smile; 'did you get that application filed in the end?'  
'Yep.' Liz nodded back, a small smile of her own began to cross her face. Amongst every other phone call she'd had to make from the scene, she'd had the time to make a call of her own too –to ensure that her application to adopt Amelia finally went through, and it felt like the entire weight of the Earth had been lifted from her shoulders. 'Amelia's original adoptive parents have had all legal rights to her severed, and assuming that they don't change their minds for the umpteenth time, she'll officially be mine in six months from today.' Liz lifted a hand to her mouth as she struggled to stifle a yawn; 'though on that note, I should probably take both her and Sammy home now.' Aram and Samar both smiled softly as they watched her too, turn and walk away, and eventually disappear around the corner, heading towards her office and then, the childcare centre downstairs.

'We should take Leila home too,' Samar observed quietly, 'it's been a long day.' They were the only two left in the war room now; Aram reached forwards to gently brush the loose hair out of her eyes and tuck it behind her ear. He couldn't help but then wrap his arms around her waist, dotting a reassuring kiss to Samar's forehead just before she rested her head against his shoulder.   
'Still want to not-try?' He whispered curiously in her ear. Samar smiled tiredly against his shoulder; all day, Aram had avoided bringing up the subject with her. He had known the case was grating at her, both because it hit too close to home on far too many levels, and simply because it was a difficult one. Forcing her to talk about it before she was ready, and while she and Liz were trying so desperately to focus solely on the case at hand, would have only made things more difficult, but now... It was time. Samar shifted her head on his shoulder, glancing up at him happily; for all her concerns after Mrs Dennison's comment, the way that each of the children at the scene -even little Mateo- had been so comfortable cuddling into her when she tried to comfort them all, _despite_ what they had all been through beforehand, had convinced her that continuing on with their plan wasn't such a terrible idea after all. Throwing all caution to the wind and waiting to see what would happen was still terrifying, but just as Reddington had said to Liz at the scene... Samar was determined to have courage.    
'Definitely.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, Samar plus a room full of Mina's classmates, in 'Baddies'. What could possibly go wrong?


	95. Baddies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Thursday, May 31, 2018.

Samar's foot tapped nervously against the floor without her even realising it. Zahra sat next to her in the rows of parents and relatives on the side of Mina's classroom. It was Career Day, or as much of a Career Day as it could be to a class full of first graders. The gaggle of twenty-something six and seven year olds sat on their tiny chairs at their tiny desks, currently listening to the father of another student, who was some kind of engineer and busily explaining something about a project he had worked on with NASA. The kids were all rapt, but then again, they had been just as rapt listening to the doctor, the lawyer, the vet, the truck driver, and every other parent or relative who had spoken to them thus far. Mina had been elated to ask Samar to be her presenter for the day, so despite Samar's usual reluctance to advertise for she did for a living, she had struggled to say no. Cooper's instant approval of her taking the two hours out of the middle of her workday to travel out to Mina's school and back, with the insistence that it would be 'good PR' for the Bureau, only added to her appearance there that day.

Though, that didn't stop the mild nervous feeling simmering inside.

Samar was all too aware of the questions that the class full of kids were inevitably going to ask her, and the difficulty of answering them... And she wasn't entirely sure that everyone would necessarily appreciate her answers.

'Ok kids, can we all thank Jessie's dad for telling us all about spaceships?' Mina's teacher's voice jolted Samar's attention from her mind's wanderings. She was next, and Mina squirmed in her tiny desk to shoot her a huge, excitable grin as her classmates clapped politely and the engineer wandered back to his seat on the side of the room. 'Next up,' the teacher spoke again, glancing at the list in her hand, 'Mina has invited her aunt to speak to you all. Mina, could you introduce your guest?' Mina could hardly contain herself; she leapt from her chair in excitement, bouncing on the balls of her feet as she scurried across the room to take Samar by the hand and practically drag her to the front of the room. Samar couldn't stop the grin from escaping her when she glanced just for a split second, back at Zahra still sitting in the rows behind her. Zahra clasped a gentle hand over her mouth, holding back a laugh at her daughter's enthusiasm.

'This is my Aunty Samar,' Mina announced to her class, as matter of factly as she could through her excitement, 'she's a FBI agent and she kicks bad guys' butts.' In a subconscious movement, Samar rested her hand just for a moment against the slight bulge on her hip, where her weapon sat in her holster under her coat, invisible from the view of Mina's classmates.  
'That's right,' Samar nodded as she spoke, winking at Mina grinning proudly up at her. She looked back at the class in front of her, all of them stared at her in awe; 'besides kicking bad guys' butts, does anyone know what else FBI agents do?' Some half a dozen of the kids raised their hands, each awaiting their turn. one after another, Samar gestured at each one for their ideas;  
'FBI agents chase people in their cars,' suggested one tiny student.  
'You arrest people,' suggested another.  
'You stop bank robbers.'  
'You boss the police around.'  
'You send bad guys to jail.'  
'Those are all great ideas,' Samar observed, nodding earnestly, 'you guys sure know a lot about FBI agents.'  
'Do you shoot people, too?' One of the boys suddenly burst out without being called upon. Samar shifted her attention to the boy in question, her expression neutral and difficult to read. There it was; one of the questions she was expecting, but unsure how to answer. The teacher sitting at the back of the room winced, as did a number of the parents and other relatives sitting along the side. Samar hesitated before responding; saying no would be an outright lie but then again, telling the truth required careful wording, given the young age of Mina's classmates.  
'We do shoot people,' she began cautiously, 'but only really, _really_ bad people who are trying to hurt other people first.' The teacher and the other adult listeners in the room upheld their neutral, vaguely concerned expressions, but otherwise made no protest to her response. Samar took a quick breath; that was a start, at least.

And what was even better, was when the boy sitting in the back row who had been continuously, and discreetly, kicking the chair of the girl in front of him for the entire lesson, unnoticed by anyone but Samar so far, suddenly stopped at her response –his eyes suddenly wide in horror, staring at his feet.

'Can we see your gun then?' The boy who asked the initial question burst out again. Samar eyed the boy for a second, then quickly glanced at Mina's unimpressed eyeroll; this, it seemed, was the obnoxious boy in the class she had heard all about who drove Mina crazy. The teacher and the relatives in the room all looked concerned again, and understandably so.   
'I don't know if that's a good ide-' Samar tried to respond, subconsciously resting her hand against that bulge on her hip once more, but the obnoxious boy cut her off.  
'-You're not a real FBI agent if you don't have a gun,' he interjected, 'so you have to show it to us.' Mina gave an irritated sigh that was easily loud enough for Samar to hear it without even looking at her. Several more of the parents along the side of the room shifted uncomfortably in their seats, especially those of the obnoxious boy in question.  
'Well...' Samar began even more cautiously again. There was a split second glance in Zahra's direction, who quickly winked back at her before Samar continued; 'if you insist...' Every set of eyes on the other side of the room _but_ Zahra's, widened in alarm. In a flash, Samar's hand dropped straight back to her hip, and she ducked. She ducked behind the closest desk to her, expertly commando rolled across the side of the room, before quickly popping up four desks over, and taking careful aim with her weapon.

Every remaining set of eyes -even the little ones- went wide as Samar pulled the trigger...

...And a bright blue and orange foam dart went zooming from the equally brightly coloured, plastic pistol in her hand, and then struck the obnoxious boy square in the shoulder.

' _She's got a Nerf gun_ ,' at least three of the kids squealed in delighted surprise. Even the parents, once over their shock, began to chuckle amongst themselves as the kids either jumped up on their seats or ducked under their desks, while Samar weaved quickly around the room, landing more foam darts on people -kids and relatives alike- until her twelve dart magazine was finally empty.  
'Ok, ok,' the teacher chuckled, standing from her seat at the back of the room, and trying to speak over her students, 'settle down, everyone.' The class reluctantly fell quiet again, with the exception of a few students still giggling to themselves on and off.  'Pick up the darts, and back at your desks,' the teacher instructed next. The kids did so; the twelve darts were collected from around the room and handed back to Samar and Mina in a flash, before everyone scurried back to their seats, still grinning from ear to ear. 'Now, does anyone have any idea what sorts of things the FBI arrests people for?'

The twenty something students all glanced back and forth amongst themselves, tiny faces contorted in thought and curiosity. Another half dozen hands tentatively raised in the air, and Samar gestured to the little girl in the second row with curly blonde pigtails. The little girl glanced sheepishly back and forth across the room, to a blonde lady sitting over on the side of the room that Samar instantly assumed was her mother.  

'My mommy says the FBI might come get me if I don't eat my vegetables,' the little girl offered. It took everything for Samar to hold back a laugh; that was far from the kind of answer she had been expecting, but she could certainly understand where it came from. She took a breath, steeling herself and trying to appear as earnest and as serious as possible.   
'Well,' Samar began, discreetly nodding to the little girl's mother as she spoke, 'that's a top secret one that I can't talk about.' The eyes of at least half the students in the class went wide in amazement as Samar then continued; 'but you should probably eat your vegetables, just to be safe.' The little blonde girl's mother, among other relatives over on the side of the room, all began stifling quiet, appreciative chuckles. The kids on the other hand, shuffled sheepishly in their seats.   
'If I may,' one of the male relatives on the side of the room spoke up, just before Samar had a chance to offer another student the chance to speak; 'my son doesn't believe me when I tell him that the FBI will arrest him for being smelly if he tries to get out of bath time.' Another grin tugged at Samar's lips and it took everything she had not to burst out laughing. Of course, it had to be the parent who was the lawyer, who told his child such a thing.   
'Oh?' She mused, still trying to appear as serious as possible. She narrowed her eyes, gazing around the room at all the students in mock suspicion. 'And which of these little monkeys is your son?'  
'Jacob,' replied the lawyer father, stifling a laugh of his own.   
'Jacob, huh?' In a second, Samar eyed the little boy in the back row who had been kicking the chair in front of him earlier, now squirming awkwardly, unable to meet his father's eye. 'Well I can say that bath time is very important,' Samar observed, nodding to emphasize her point. 'You should probably listen to your dad, buddy.'

/*/*/*/*

As thanks for their participation, the parents and other relatives of all the students in Mina's class were all treated to afternoon tea while the kids worked amongst themselves in little groups, talking about the things they had learned. Samar and Zahra stuck side by side, sipping on their coffee. In a way, as much as she had enjoyed it in the end, Samar was glad her presentation was over. Only Zahra had known in advance of her plan to surprise the students with the nerf gun and before that, Samar had been nervous that even the brightly coloured foam dart blaster wouldn't necessarily go down well with everyone in the room. She had known that at some point, one of the students would ask about her service weapon, but she couldn't exactly bring that to Mina's class. On the other hand, the invitation each of the children took from their teacher to their guests had requested that all guests be as serious about their presentations as possible... That had left Samar feeling somewhat conflicted about how to approach the inevitable dilemma.  

Thankfully, everyone had seen the funny side... And now that they were all mingling around the coffee, tea, and little cakes, numerous parents kept shooting her amused, appreciative grins for upholding the mischievous lies they told their children.  

'That was a great presentation, the kids loved it,' Mina's teacher observed, grinning over her own cup of steaming coffee. 'I may have to have you come back next year.' Samar managed an awkward, half-amused, half concerned smile at _that_ particular idea,  but the teacher kept talking, brow momentarily furrowed in thought; 'though I must admit, I was a little worried for a moment when you started commando rolling after they asked to see your gun.'

'I couldn't exactly take a real gun into a class full of first graders,' Samar drolly mused. She paused just for a beat, as the teacher nodded happily. It irked her, just a tiny bit, that anyone would feel the need to worry that she would seriously bring a real weapon to a room full of six and seven year olds. 'Seeing as I'm not here on official business,' Samar continued, trying not to smirk, 'school security made me check it in with them when I signed in as a visitor at administration.'

The teacher's face fell for a second, before she let out an awkward laugh, unsure what to make of Samar's dry humour.  

Zahra couldn't help but chuckle to herself as the teacher made some quiet excuse to turn and hurry back to her students, and Samar finally let out the smirk that had been challenging her all afternoon.  

'Aunty Samar, Aunty Samar.' Mina came running up to her mother and aunt in turn. A delighted grin lit up her face as she barrelled into Samar, throwing her arms around Samar's legs. 'You were the best of all of them, Aunty Samar. All my friends said so.' The little girl nodded adamantly as if to prove her point, making the dark ringlets of her pony tail bounce up and down. Samar crouched down to her niece's level, unable to stop herself from grinning just as widely.   
'Thank you, kiddo,' she said softly. Mina beamed back –just for a second- then stared up at her mother with an expression of utter suspicion.   
'Maman, did you know Aunty Samar had a Nerf gun?' She asked, narrowing her eyes slightly. Zahra's eyes crinkled and her lip twitched. She steeled herself though, her eyes wide in mock offence a the accusation.   
'Of course not,' Zahra replied as earnestly as she could muster, all the while Samar stifled yet another chuckle.   
'Are you _sure?'_   The last word of Mina's question was drawn out in her suspicion.  
' _I'm_ pretty sure,' Samar confirmed. She paused just for a split second to remove her plastic Nerf blaster from her very real holster, and carefully hold it out towards Mina as if handling something of the utmost importance; 'because I don't think this is mine... I think it belongs to you, Mina.'

Mina's eyes went wide. She had been wanting a Nerf gun to battle with her friends for quite some time.

'Really?' The little girl gasped, but the look of delighted surprise only lasted a moment. Her expression crumbled, falling to one of concern as she eyed Samar's enthusiastic nod. 'But what about you?' She asked, turning the blaster over gingerly in her hand.   
'It's ok, I have another one at home,' Samar quickly reassured her. She grinned; the smaller Nerf blasters came in packs of two, so just as she was prepared for questions about her real weapon, she was prepared for this scenario too. 'So, I guess we can have Nerf wars in the park some time,' she added, giving a teasing waggle of her eyebrows. Finally, Mina's face lit up with glee once again, clutching the treasured toy close to her chest.   
'Can Leila play too?' The little girl burst out.   
'I don't know if Leila can shoot a Nerf gun yet, she's too little,' Samar chuckled, wrapping her arms adoringly around her little niece. She pressed a soft kiss to the top of Mina's head as the little girl happily nuzzled into her shoulder. 'But I'm sure she'd love to play Nerf wars with you when she's a bit bigger.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, some trouble of the 'Double' variety.
> 
> And an update on writing progression; I'm getting closer and closer to the end, with an approximate eight chapters left to write (barring any that get too long and have to split into multiple) which will bring us to a grand total of about 112 if I count the already written epilogue as well. And yes, I know exactly how it's all going to end, I just have to write it now!
> 
> We're nearly there, folks! :D


	96. Double

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Saturday, June 16, 2018. 
> 
> Two chapters today, just to try and get through a few of the ones I've already written.

Even a couple of doors down the building hallway from Levi and Talia's new apartment, Samar could tell that she was heading in the right direction. The distinct noise of a new baby crying erupted just as she reached the front door –not at earsplitting volume from where Samar stood, but certainly enough to know a baby was there- followed by another, perhaps all of five seconds later. Samar glanced sideways, shooting Aram a knowing grin; that was a sound they had once known all too well, and may yet know again. Even Leila, toddling happily between them, with one of her hands held by each Samar and Aram, turned her head in response to the noise and warily eyed the front door. Samar paused before knocking quietly on the door, just long enough for the crying within to quieten enough for her knock to be heard inside without unsettling the baby twins again.

She hadn't seen Levi at all in the now exactly seven weeks since the twins were born; after all, adjusting to the routine of a newborn was tiring and busy enough, let alone adjusting to _two_ of them. Samar understood, and certainly didn't mind... But she was both curious and even somewhat excited to meet Leila's two new, little 'cousins', of sorts… Or little Shahin's tiny half-siblings.    

Next to her, Aram lifted Leila up from her feet as the door opened.   

'Hey,' came Levi's voice from behind the door. His voice was easily as tired as the dark rings under his eyes, but his smile was warm all the same.      
'Hey,' Samar murmured, smiling back. Aram nodded in greeting as she spoke. 'Sounds like they're keeping you on your toes.' Levi gave a soft chuckle.    
'They just woke up a few minutes ago, right in time to see you,' he observed, 'they're still a little sleepy, and they _definitely_ weren't a fan of when I dropped my cell phone on the floor just now and made a noise.' Levi stepped back from the door, allowing them to follow him inside as the door closed behind them. He reached out to Aram, to take Leila into his arms; having not seen Levi in some time, Leila tilted her head shyly at the movement, but still made no move to squirm away. Levi led them all into the living room... Where Talia sat on the floor with the twins laying on a blanket together next to her.  

Samar offered her a small, but friendly smile as Talia glanced up to greet them. The peace made between her and Levi was one thing, but in that time she had spent next to no time getting to know Talia. Samar was wary; she had no envy of Talia as Levi's wife now, but she had no idea how Talia felt about her... Whether Talia saw her as a potential friend, or a potential threat as the returning long lost love or the rather; the one that got away.  

Talia's gaze flickered next to Leila, whose hazel eyes went wide with curiosity at the sight of the twins. A small, affectionate smile crossed Talia's face, and Samar let out a short breath of relief. If Talia had no issue with Leila's curiosity for her twins, then Samar hoped Talia would bear _her_ no animosity either. Levi waited an extra second or two, watching the expressions and tensed shoulders on both their faces ease before quickly introducing them properly. Then, he set Leila on her feet, nudging her gently forward towards the twins.

If nothing else, the three children served as an effective, peaceful buffer between them.

'Gentle, Leila,' Samar instructed, quickly following on her daughter's heels before accidental prodding caused the twins any upset. She crouched beside the blanket, opposite Talia, with one arm draped loosely around Leila where she stood, staring down at the two tiny seven week olds. They looked incredibly alike, despite not technically being identical twins. Sara was notably smaller than Isaac, but they shared the same wide, dark eyes, the same almost jet black hair, and the same little nose that thankfully –and much like little Shahin's- looked nothing like Levi's.  

In that way, they even looked somewhat like little Shahin.  

They stared up curiously, mostly at their mother, but with occasional, flickering glances elsewhere in response to Leila's clumsy movements. Leila stared back at them for a moment longer, silently observing Sara and Isaac while she figured out what to make of them; they were even smaller than Amelia, and that was an entirely new curiosity. Leila shifted her gaze sideways to Samar, breaking into a quizzical, shy smile.  
' _Baby_ ,' she babbled, and then followed with a giggle as she pointed at the twins. Samar grinned back; that was another new word recently learned in response to Amelia's arrival, and Samar was pleased to see her little girl making the logical connection from Amelia to the twins.    
'That's right,' Samar murmured, giving an encouraging nod. Leila took that as her cue to cautiously lower herself from standing to the floor, sitting between Samar and Talia in front of the twins –all the while Talia watched on, with a hint of something vaguely resembling amazement at the little munchkin marvelling at her own.  

Almost exactly two months on from Samar and Aram's decision to not-try, there was something gut-wrenching about watching Leila marvel over two newborns, especially two that looked so much like the older brother she should have had. It was a pang that swirled in anxious conflict in Samar's belly; only two months on from the decision, and the fact that nothing yet had come of their not-trying was hardly surprising. At her age, it was never something that was going to happen immediately. And yet, at the same time, there was an odd feeling now of impatience, as if the decision to not-try was little more than mere justification for an attempt to try without facing any judgement... And in truth, the lack of progress when she had resigned herself to assuming it would inevitably happen at some point, was actually quite frustrating. Now, the sight of Leila gently reaching for Isaac's tiny fingers and them wrapping tightly around her thumb, only emphasised how much she liked the idea of Leila being able to do that at home, every day. Not that Samar was about to admit that, however.

In her mind's wandering, she missed that Levi and Aram had crept around them, and joined her and Talia on the floor, on the side of the blanket opposite Leila. It wasn't until Sara began to whimper, and then to wail, overwhelmed by too many people around her, that Samar even noticed they had moved at all. Talia instantly scooped her up, gently cuddling her daughter to calm her, but not before Isaac joined in the noise as well.  
'As soon as one starts, so does the other a second later,' Levi muttered, shaking his head as he in turn, scooped up Isaac and rocked him as well. His eyes crinkled in adoration as he held his son close however, making it clear that the complaint wasn't really one at all.  

Double trouble. Just as Levi had joked back on the freezing cold bench in the park in December when they reflected back on little Shahin, now the day before Father's day the twins were double the exhaustion, but just as much so double the joy.  

Leila scrambled to her feet, scuttling across the blanket to continue peering at Sara in Talia's arms. Samar reached out in an effort to pull her back and allow Sara to quieten, but Talia simply shook her head, quite happy for Leila to approach. Leila, affectionate but having already learned to be gentle since Amelia's arrival, leaned into the side of Talia's arm, still staring in rapt attention at Sara, and clumsily reaching forwards to pat her hand.   
'How old is she now?' Talia asked softly, turning her gaze to smile at Leila as Sara's cries faded. With her free hand, she brushed the mahogany curls out of Leila's eyes, and tucked them behind her ear. A breath caught in Samar's throat at that, at Levi's wife being so casual and affectionate with her daughter. It felt odd, given that the two of them hadn't met before and yet, at the same time it was kind of nice. At the very least, it proved further still that Talia had no intention of being hostile, and her automatic instinct was one of kindness.  

It certainly emphasized Samar's happiness that Levi was happy with someone kind, rather than being spiteful and hoping that he would only be with someone awful after losing her.  

'Twenty two months next week,' Samar found herself quietly replying. Another breath caught in her throat at that realisation; twenty two months was a lot. In just under two years, she had gone from having a tiny newborn like those currently being cradled by Talia and Levi, to having a toddler who learned a half dozen new words every day, who was starting to string them together in two word sentences, who could start to dress and undress herself with some assistance, who could decide for herself where to put her toys, and who could understand and follow simple instructions. Leila was rapidly exploring and learning new things every day, and Samar found herself constantly amazed at the way her little girl was growing up. She shook her head, thinking about that for a moment; 'time has gone so fast,' she breathed.  

/*/*/*/*

Samar remained contemplative for the rest of the afternoon after she and Aram and Leila returned home –albeit only calmly so. Between meeting Levi's wife beyond mere introduction and name, and their two children too, there was much on her mind. Coming home just in time for her period to arrive again barely an hour later, only added to her reflection on the idea of the child she lost, and that another month of not-trying still hadn't succeeded.

Her own dose of double trouble wasn't yet to be, it seemed.  

Samar stood at the kitchen counter, finishing off the remainder of the dinner dishes after having put Leila to bed. Aram entered the room, his hair damp and sticking out everywhere from scrubbing it dry with his towel, and smelling of that mixed scent of his soap and shampoo that Samar enjoyed so much. He wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, leaning his chin on her shoulder and simply enjoying holding her close after the conflicted emotions of the day. Samar leaned happily back into him, letting out a content sigh as she set the last of the dried plates on the counter.    
'You know, sometimes I hate being female,' she mused quietly.   
'I have noticed that sometimes, actually,' Aram chuckled softly back, kissing her cheek. It was a slow kiss, one that lingered there as she leaned even further into him.   
'Sometimes, huh?' Samar sighed.  
'Mmhmm,' Aram hummed back, 'about once a month.' Samar turned in his grasp, staying in his arms but now facing him, leaning into his chest.   
'Don't worry, the rest of the month I enjoy being female,' she teased, despite the twinge of pain in her abdomen. She had taken enough painkillers, but it never seemed to be quite enough. Regardless, she tried to shake off the twinge, and smirked up at Aram instead; 'it means I can use my feminine wiles to torture you.' Aram rolled his eyes in mock exasperation, as Samar planted another quick kiss to his cheek before teasingly pushing him away and ambling around the counter towards the couch.  
'I noticed that also,' Aram laughed, then paused, waggling his eyebrows at her, 'not that I’m complaining. It seems totally fair to me.' Samar dropped lazily onto the couch, shooting another flirtatious grin in his direction as she curled into a ball against the armrest.   
'I’m glad that's sorted,' she quipped softly.  

Aram studied the way her face contorted with another twinge of pain despite trying to shake off her frustrations in favour of quiet playfulness.  

He turned about face in the kitchen, facing the fridge and freezer, eyes crinkling in contemplation all of his own.   
'Is this an ice cream moment or a tea moment?' He asked, breaking into a softer, more thoughtful smile. Samar turned her head, gazing back across the room from the couch. Either option would serve to calm or cheer her up and of course Aram knew that –not that she truly needed calming or cheering up in reality, but it was the gesture that Samar loved.   
'...Start with ice cream and see how we go?'  
'Ok.' Aram pulled open the freezer door and stared at the contents within, now facing the next crucial decision; 'flavour?' There was a pause before Samar responded, where the tiniest hint of an appreciative grin tugged at the corners of her lips.   
'You pick.' Her voice was soft enough in its tiredness that it was barely audible but regardless, Aram plucked one of the pints from its icy home, flipped the lip and pushed two spoons from the freshly washed and dried cutlery into the sweet, frozen goodness.   
'Mmm...' He hummed happily to himself, taking the first spoonful as he crossed the room and lowered himself onto the couch beside her. Samar shook her head in amused exasperation the second he handed over the tub, her spoon still poking out of the top.   
'Cookie dough, really?' She mused. Aram shot her a look of mock offense.   
'Hey,' he protested, 'you tell me it's my turn to pick, I'm going to pick my favourite, not yours.' Samar laughed under her breath, taking a spoonful of their usual, shared dessert anyway.  
'It _is_ good...' Samar conceded; it wasn't her favourite, but she definitely still enjoyed it, and Aram knew it. After all, it _was_ ice cream, _and_ it had chocolate swirls. Aram broke into a knowing, amused grin –one that could almost be deemed as smug by someone who didn't know him any better.    
'Mmhmm,' he hummed, then stifled a laugh at the look of suspicious exasperation that crossed Samar's face barely a second later.   
'You are not going to convert me,' she muttered, still taking another spoonful of the pint's speckled contents anyway. ‘I love triple chocolate way too much to allow any other flavour to take its crown.’ Aram let out a lengthy, loud, exaggerated sigh, staring in his continued mock offense at his favourite flavour that was still grasped in Samar's hand.   
'You exasperate me,' was his dramatic conclusion. He managed to uphold the act for all of two seconds longer, before breaking back into his wide grin, chuckling to himself at her equally dramatic eyeroll. Regardless, from behind the cookie dough pint held up closely in front of her face, it was hard to miss the way her lip twitched in amusement as she responded;   
'I love you too.'  

Between the two of them, the disappearing act on the remainder of the cookie dough pint hardly took long at all. The empty carton moved to the side table, and Samar curled into Aram's side gladly. Both of them were tired, but Samar's eyes flickered in the struggle to stay open.

She was all too comfortable there, resting her sleepy head against his shoulder, and knowing that he was just as quietly contemplative as she was about another month having passed.

'Anything else I can do?' Aram murmured softly.    
'Just be you,' Samar's quiet, sleepy voice mumbled back. That was all she needed when she was tired, sore, and feeling utterly drained in every sense of the word. Just him, there with her, even if no words were spoken between them... Aram's fingertips ran absentmindedly through her curls, relaxing her even more so as his soft voice echoed soothingly in her ear.  
'You know, funnily enough, I was kind of hoping to be Batman today. But if it'll make you feel better, I guess I can be me.' Though hidden partly by his shoulder, the joke still made Samar crack a tiny smile.   
'Thank you.'  
'Any time.'  
'Is being Batman on your bucket list too?' Her muffled voice quietly teased him back.  
'No...' Aram trailed off, considering that for a moment. 'But maybe it should be.' There was a groan, as Samar both buried her face deeper into his shoulder, and shook her head all at the same time.   
'You exasperate me,' she muttered, but Aram pressed a kiss to the top her head anyway.   
'I love you too.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, 'Sandcastles'.


	97. Sandcastles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Friday-Sunday, June 22-24, 2018.
> 
> Here we go; the second of today's two chapters.

**_FRIDAY EVENING..._ **

It was Aram's insistence that they all needed another weekend trip to keep their sanity between grisly cases, that saw him, Samar, Liz, Angus, Zahra, Ressler, and their collective youngsters all strolling towards the beach in Ocean City in the cool of the Summer evening. Staying all together in a large house that was one in a long, spacious row right on the beach's edge, allowed them to move straight from the porch to the water in a matter of seconds, and made a distinct change from previous trips to the snow, to tiny towns, or to other, larger cities. None of the little ones had seen the beach before, with the exception of Riley, who had spent such a large percentage of his life thus far living with the beach as his backyard that he scampered ahead across the sand with an impressive ease.  

'Uhh,' Liz began, glancing questioningly at Angus, as Riley moved quickly towards the water. Her protective instinct screamed at her to immediately call the little boy back to safety, but the awareness that he wasn't her child, and that Angus was right there with her, seemingly unconcerned, made her falter.  
'He's ok,' Angus reassured her, his lips twitching with an appreciative smile all the same. His gaze remained focused intently on his little boy running ahead, but he made no move to quicken his pace in following. 'The school and childcare centre on the base island drilled water safety into all the kids, even the little ones. It was right up there with the alphabet and counting to ten in the first things they learned.' He shot Liz a quick grin; 'Riley knows the rules. He can go as far ahead as the line in the sand where it changes from dry to damp, to let the ends of the waves splash over his toes, but only if I'm watching, and he can't do go anywhere further than that without holding my hand.' Liz raised a wary eyebrow as Angus' and everyone else's glances shifted back to Riley coming to a sudden halt where the furthest ends of the waves trickled over the sand, clearly knowing the rules exactly as Angus had said. The little boy giggled at the cold water splashing between his toes, then stared back over his shoulder, beckoning for the rest of them to hurry up and follow.  

Only a few feet behind him, the rest of the group continued moving forwards. Mina clung tightly to her mother's hand, both wary of the beach she had never seen before, and the slightly bigger group of people than she was used to. Thankfully though, they were either people she had met at least once before –in the case of Angus, Ressler and Liz- or those she knew relatively well now, such as Samar and Aram. Even Zahra was a little wary; she too, had never seen the beach before, though she was excited all the same. She held Mina's hand, and guided her along happily, both of them all the more encouraged by Riley and Angus' confidence with the sandy ground.  

Leila and Sammy both scuttled clumsily along the  soft, uneven surface, sticking closely to Samar, Liz, and Aram. They too were wary, but still curious and eager to follow Riley. 

Finally they sat in a small group in the sand, close enough to be well within Riley's reach, but not so close to the water's edge that they would all be splashed. Riley, of course, immediately coaxed his father into a game of chasing each other up and down the damp sand. Samar, on the other hand, quickly tipped upside down a bag of beach toys; colourful, plastic buckets, spades, and other bits and pieces designed to mould the damp sand into various shapes.   
'Hey Mina,' Samar began, shooting her niece a mischievous grin, 'do you think you could help us teach Leila and Sammy how to build sandcastles?' Mina's eyes went wide with enthusiasm; despite having never been to a beach before, she was all too familiar with sandcastles. The sandbox was always her favourite part of any playground, and trip to the park always went hand in hand with her own canvas bag of plastic castle building tools. In a flash, Mina reached for a bucket and spade, eagerly showing the two younger girls how to fill it up to the brim, and then tip it upside down to form a base. Between Mina, Samar, Zahra, Aram, Ressler, and Liz -who was both helping build the castle, and keeping a close eye on Amelia rocking back and forth on her hands and knees on a beach towel next to her- Leila and Sammy had a huge castle base in no time, despite every attempt to help ending up in them accidentally knocking things over.  
'Can I help too?' Riley gasped in delight, catching a glimpse of the castle base mid-sprint past it, and then stopping in his tracks.   
'Sure,' Liz replied, with an enthusiastic nod. 'Mina, what can Riley do to help?' The little girl screwed up her face in thought for a moment before responding.  
'At the park I put leaves and sticks on my sandcastles like flags,' she began slowly, then shook her head, 'but there are no leaves here.'  
'Shells go on beach castles,' the little boy grinned back as he enthusiastically informed her. 'I find some.' He shifted his grin to peering up at Angus beside him; 'come on, Daddy, let's go get shells.' Barely a second later, and Riley was off again, zigzagging up and down the sand, plucking shells of every shape and size from the surface and scurrying back with them to Mina.  With Samar and Liz's guidance, Sammy and Leila pushed them into the sides of Mina's cleverly crafted towers.   

By the time the sun started to go down, leaving swirls of pink and orange in the sky in its wake, their sandcastle was covered in shells, and _huge_ -some five bucketfuls wide, and two buckets tall- before Mina declared it officially complete, with Riley nodding his distinct approval beside her.  

That was the cue that their initial sandy stroll after arriving at the house late in the afternoon was over, and it was time for dinner.            

It was after dinner, after bath time to wash away the sand that seemed to have covered all five of the kids from head to toe, and after bed time, that Aram took Samar by the hand, leading her quietly -and sneakily- out of the house for a stroll of their own along the water's edge and under the stars. Only Liz happened to spot them on their way out the front door, and she broke into an amused, knowing smirk, gesturing for them to go right ahead. Between herself, Angus, Ressler and Zahra still in the house, and all the kids sound asleep, exhausted after their earlier excitement, she could easily listen out for the unlikely chance that Leila would wake up and call out for them in the short amount of time Samar and Aram took their walk.

At the very worst, they would still be within sight and a yell from the front door if they were needed back in a hurry.  

A soft smile lit Samar's face as she stared out at the seemingly endless sky full of twinkling stars, that ran along the long expanse of equally endless beach. It was one straight, long bar of sand that ran as far as the eye could see and then some, with the huge beach houses dotted every so often all the way down, far enough apart that even despite the lack of fences between them, they all basically had their own stretch of the beach without any inhabitants needing to cross paths. Most of them were holiday homes, either for their owners to take weekends away from home, or to be rented out to tourists for the holidays... And if the current lack of lights brightening up their windows was any indication, most of those holiday homes were also empty, with most people preferring to book their summer holidays to be there in a week or so time for the fourth of July. In short, Samar and Aram had an even longer stretch of the pristine beach all to themselves.

'It's been a long time since I last walked along a beach and felt the sand between my toes,' Samar murmured softly, 'and since I could see this much night sky so clearly.' Aram paused in his walking down the sandbar, turning to face the water. He draped one arm loosely around Samar's back where she stood beside him.  
'Do I dare ask where that beach was?' He asked, lip quirking up with a hint of amusement. Samar glanced sideways at him, raising a single, wry eyebrow, and instantly giving Aram the answer he was already guessing; it was during some kind of classified, Mossad assignment. Aram simply shook his head, and Samar shuffled backwards, lowering herself onto the sand –first sitting with her knees pulled up, staring out at the water for a moment longer, then laying all the way back onto the sand. There was an air of total, relaxed contentment about the way she nestled back into the soft sand without a towel in sight, staring happily up at the thousands of tiny, twinkling lights in the darkness above them. Aram bit his lip, trying not to laugh at the way her dark curls splayed out around her head in the sandy surface. 'You are going to end up _covered_ in sand,' he chuckled, shaking his head at the way the grains of sand were already creeping through her hair and down her neck as they rolled in response to her movement. Samar simply grinned up back him, teasingly waggling her eyebrows.   
'That's what showers are for,' she mused in response. A playful smile crept across her face –the kind that never ceased to drive him wild.   
'Ok then,' Aram chuckled, lowering himself onto the sand beside her. Samar shuffled across closer to him, tilting her head to lean softly against his shoulder while she continued watching the stars. Aram's fingertips instantly sought hers, curling around them as soon as he found them.   
'My father loved the stars,' Samar sighed in contentment, 'he and my mother used to sit outside in the evenings watching the sky, while Shahin and I played in the garden. He used to point out all the constellations to us, and tell stories about them.'   
'You going to pass those on to Leila when she's older?' Aram asked. Samar paused before responding, still deep in contemplation as she reflected on those happy memories of the time spent with her parents before their passing.   
'Perhaps,' she slowly whispered back. The smile was gone, replaced now by something far more neutral, though only calmly so. He knew where her train of thought had moved onto; the joy of spending time with her parents, to the idea of being parents, spending time with her own children _plural._.. If ever a second one came along. Aram rolled onto his side, brushing the hair and sand back off her face with the side of his thumb, before leaning in, searching for her lips with his. He caught them, pressing a deep kiss to her lips that she accepted gladly. Fingertips ran slowly, teasingly up and down her side, then finally toying with the bottom hem of her shirt, before Samar playfully swatted him away... Though she remained quite contently nestled against him, thoroughly enjoying the closeness that she struggled to resist –and amused at their apparent rolling around in the sand together like lustful twenty-somethings.   
'It'll happen,' Aram murmured, adding another reassuring kiss to her cheek, 'I just have a gut feeling.'                                                                          

/*/*/*/*

Amelia's crying out from her crib awoke Liz with a jump. At six months old and a week, the baby girl with the bright green eyes was far more settled into her routine with Liz now, but still woke up during the night far more often than Sammy had at the same age. Liz wasn't entirely sure if that was an indicator that Amelia still wasn't entirely used to her yet, or whether Sammy had simply been as surprisingly calm a baby as they all had thought when initially comparing her to Leila, but either way Liz jumped out of bed and had Amelia rocking gently in her arms in a flash. Not one ounce of doubt remained in her mind now that Amelia was part of her family; the application to adopt her had already been filed, her original adoptive parents still had made no move to reclaim her, and there was a clear bond that Liz felt with the baby girl nuzzling into her arms.

There was no way that Liz was ever going to let her go now.  

Amelia's cries eased quickly after the reassuring cuddle, and her eyes fell slowly closed once more. Liz set her gently back in her crib then stared out for a moment into the darkness of her temporary beach house bedroom. Deciding that her mouth felt a little dry and observing that the glass of water on the nightstand was already empty, she crept slowly out into the dark hallway towards the kitchen.

Samar and Aram had returned from their beach walk and all the adults had gone to bed hours ago now.

Or so Liz thought.  

All was quiet in the house they were all sharing, but as Liz crept closer to the kitchen, she spotted a faint light shining out from under the door. Curiously, she pushed it open.  
'Oh,' she quietly chuckled, 'sorry.' Liz broke into a sheepish smiles at the startled reaction to her sudden appearance; 'I was up with Amelia and I thought I'd just grab a glass of water now that she's settled again.' At opposite sides of the counter, Riley sitting, swinging his legs on one of the barstools, and Angus leaning over the kitchen side, chatting quietly to his son, both bore matching, lopsided grins that only emphasised how much father and son looked alike. Liz couldn't help but chuckle at the mug sitting on the counter, just in front of Riley. 'Midnight cocoa, huh?' She asked softly.   
'Me and Daddy are sharing,' the little boy matter of factly replied with his usual cheeky grin. He was careful to keep his voice low, as he spoke and nodded emphatically at the same time.   
'Your turn again, little man,' Angus added, gesturing at the mug that sat far closer to his son than himself. He shifted his gaze back to Liz the second Riley's face disappeared behind the mug as he took a gulp.  
' _Nightmare?_ ' Liz mouthed, out of Riley's view. Angus nodded quickly, and Liz instantly understood. She forced away the look of concern, in favour of a more cheerful expression for Riley's benefit, sitting on the barstool beside him. 'Do you two normally share your cocoa?' She instinctively reached forwards to tousle his messy hair, feeling as open and comfortable with the little boy who wasn't hers –despite having not known him that long- as she did with Leila.  

'Only when it's a midnight cocoa,' Riley informed her, in his nearly four year old earnest, 'that way we don't have to brush our teeths again.' He turned his head to glance back questioningly at Angus; 'right, Daddy?' Angus nodded again, bearing the expression of the utmost seriousness used when listening intently to child logic. He waited for Riley's gaze to focus back on taking another gulp from the mug, before sharing a discreet, amused grin with Liz. It was quite clear what was going on; Riley had woken up with his nightmare and to calm him, Angus' strategy was to share a cocoa... Even if that sharing wasn't quite even. It seemed that the overwhelming majority of it was for Riley, if Angus' sips and Riley's gulps were any indication, but it was the idea of sharing one mug between the two of them as a special father-son moment rather than having one each, that resonated with the little boy.   
'Oh, of course,' Liz said, in the same utmost seriousness and nodding in an exaggerated understanding, all the while trying to suppress a soft laugh, 'that makes sense.' Riley broke into another grin as he lowered the mug once more, delighted at Liz's seeming agreement with his logic. Instead of setting the mug straight back onto the counter, he reached out with it, offering it to Liz.   
'You want some, Lizzie?' He asked, his eyes wide with enthusiasm.   
'I think Liz can have her own cup of cocoa, Riles,' Angus gently interjected before Liz could respond, holding back a laugh of his own. But, as he gestured in offering at the tin of cocoa powder on the counter, Riley's bottom lip popped out, dejected.   
'But sharing is caring,' he protested, his voice wavering miserably. Liz glanced quickly back and forth between the two of them, an expression of amusement and instant affection etching its way across her face.   
'What if I just want _one_ little sip?' She suggested. Just like that, the dejection vanished from Riley's face in an instant. Angus let out a soft chuckle of amusement and assent to the idea, and Riley held the mug back out to Liz all over again. She took it gingerly, pausing just to shoot Riley a cheeky grin before taking her own tiny sip of the now only lukewarm cocoa, and Riley beamed.  

It really did take very little to keep him happy.  

Riley took another, final gulp of his own to drain the last of the cocoa as soon as Liz handed back the mug. He looked up in glee as Angus quickly rinsed out the mug and set it in the sink, making his father shake his head in amusement all over again. There was a cocoa ring all around Riley's face, most notably in the space below his nose, all along his upper lip.    
'That's a very impressive cocoa moustache, Riley,' Liz chuckled, trying desperately to sound earnest.   
'It's a cocoa-stache,' Angus corrected her. He, by contrast, had the mock seriousness down pat. Riley's head bobbed up and down in mischievous glee as he continued; 'and that one looks just like your uncle Aram's.' Riley burst into giggles. Liz instantly clamped a hand over her mouth to stop herself from doing the same; now that Angus had pointed it out, that was all she could see. Riley's cocoa-stache really did form the exact same shape as the top of Aram's carefully shaped goatee. Angus waited for the little boy to stop squirming on his barstool, before reaching over with a wipe and vanishing the cocoa-stache forever and then helping him jump back to his feet. 'Ok, back to bed, buddy,' Angus murmured softly, chucking his son on the chin.  

But, Riley hesitated. His blonde waves flickered back and forth as he quickly, and hesitantly glanced between them, shifting uncomfortably on the spot. Liz took that as her instant cue to pretend not to listen, staring intently instead at a tiny crack in the wall

'Daddy,' Riley began to cautiously whisper, 'can you check for the monsters again?'  
'Sure,' Angus whispered back, 'and you don't have to worry about talking about monsters in front of Lizzie, Riles. She's FBI like Samar, so all the monsters are super scared of her.' Riley's eyes went wide for a moment, before shuffling on the spot, staring shyly up at Liz.  
'Lizzie...' He began slowly, 'can you check for monsters too?'  
'I sure can,' she beamed back. Riley took one of their hands in each of his, with Angus guiding them slowly back towards his room. There was something oddly pleasant, not about the little boy being scared, but about his hand clutching hers tightly, leaning sideways into her leg, and trusting her to protect him. Images of Sammy being that age and doing the same in the future instantly filled Liz's mind, and she couldn't help but let out an absent minded smile. It only took a moment to check under the bed, in the cupboards and behind the curtains, and show Riley that his room was one hundred percent monster free and finally, he crawled back into his bed and nestled deep into his covers. Angus gave him one more cuddle, and dotted an adoring kiss to his son's head, telling him good night once more, before re-emerging into the hallway where Liz waited patiently.

They walked side by side past the room shared by Leila, Sammy and Mina, the one shared by Samar and Aram, the one taken by Zahra, and the other taken by Ressler, towards their own rooms at the end.  

'You didn't have to do that,' Angus spoke up softly, 'I didn't think he'd actually ask, I was just hoping to teach him that it's ok to be scared and he doesn't have to be ashamed of it-' she stared back at Liz, lip quirking up into a genuinely appreciative smile '-but thank you. I think you coming with us probably helped even more.'  
'Well then, I'm just glad it helped, … And I understand nightmares,' Liz murmured back, 'I get them too.' She smiled softly back. Angus couldn't help but feel amazed by her, almost to the point of a daze; despite what she did for a living, Liz still managed to smile more often than not. The way she never seemed to give up on the world either, determinedly focusing on trying to help children in need despite the horrors of the world that she and the rest of the taskforce worked with daily, left him stunned.  

There was an intensity about the moment, in the way they gazed back at each other quietly. It had butterflies fluttering about in Angus' stomach and he wanted desperately to reach out to her, to touch her... Or kiss her, even. But Aram's warning lingered in the back of his mind, as did the acute awareness that Liz was intently focused on settling Amelia into her family at the moment before anything else. He was all too wary of making any kind of move beyond the subtle flirting he couldn't resist... But that didn't stop the wanting.  

There was an odd feeling in Liz's stomach too, when they arrived at her bedroom door. It was almost like the weirdness of the end of a first or second date, where knowing whether or not it was too soon to kiss someone goodnight was never as clear as the attraction that screamed inside her head. In part, she wished Angus would offer her some kind of gesture beyond his flirting but on the other hand she knew, it was far too soon. He allowed himself nothing more than the compromise of gently squeezing her fingertips with his, before quickly pulling his hand away once more.   
'Goodnight,' he whispered. 'Sleep well-' Angus broke into a soft smile '-I hope you don't need to scare away any monsters.'  
'Goodnight,' Liz murmured back, eyes crinkling with a tiny smile of her own.

Liz paused long enough to watch him disappear into his own room, unable to stop the smile from stretching ear to ear across her face.

/*/*/*/*

**_SATURDAY..._ **

Most of the next day was spent outside on the beach, soaking up the warmth of the sun. Riley paddled eager circles around Angus in the shallows of the water that were to him, waist high. Angus watched him intently, making sure Riley stayed within reach at all times, but the little boy knew the water rules and never strayed too far away. Samar, Liz, Zahra, Ressler, and Aram sat in the shallows, allowing the water to roll over them at just lower than underarm height once they sat on the sand underneath, holding on to the rest of the kids while they splashed around happily. Amelia stayed nestled tightly against Liz's shoulder, letting out soft giggles at the water rolling around her, but Sammy and Leila stood happily splashing each other and squealing with glee. Mina too, preferred to stay close, having never experienced the ocean before, but still allowed Angus and Ressler to show her how to paddle just as Riley did, and even shyly gave it a go –albeit briefly.  

A splash from Aram left Samar gasping in mock horror, and Liz and Zahra bursting out laughing. With an expression close to the desire of retribution that they had seen only in snowball fights previously, Samar splashed all three of them back.  

The kids all squealed in delight at the water showering down from above their heads, while their parents all held onto them with one hand, and flicked water at each other with the other.  

The splashing extended so far that it even reached Riley and Angus, still paddling around in circles.  

With a mischievous roar, declaring a water fight, Riley splashed back, showering water all over Mina, who cackled and went running back up along the sand for her plastic bucket to tip water back over his head, and Ressler too. Angus followed suit, flicking water in a more general direction, and landing it all over Liz and Zahra.  

While too busy watching them, Samar took no notice of Riley and Mina then joining forces and filling a bucket each... Then sneaking up behind her and tipping both over her head at the same time.  

Aram noticed, as did Ressler, and Leila in between them.

But none of them made any move to stop the drenching.

Samar gasped in mock horror, chasing both Mina and Riley back up the beach, before catching her little niece and tickling her sides, all the while everyone else continued their splashy battle.

The war was on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up; 'Fireworks'
> 
> And just for funsies, have this progress shot of my progress towards the end of this story;  
> [](https://www.flickr.com/gp/152300685@N03/nJ8816)


	98. Fireworks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Tuesday-Wednesday, July 3-4, 2018.

**_TUESDAY NIGHT..._ **

Movie credits began to roll up along Liz's television screen, and she quickly reached for the remote to switch it off before the music blasted too loudly. She sat on one of the arm chairs in her living room, Angus on the matching one across the coffee table from her, all the while little Riley was sound asleep, sprawled across the couch between them, with Hudson cuddled quite contently against his belly.  
'Thanks for this,' Angus whispered, breaking into a soft smile as he rose from his chair, 'I'm still so used to it just being Riley and me, it feels nice to actually be able to watch a movie with someone, that isn't animated or full of catchy songs.'  
'I know the feeling,' Liz chuckled softly back, 'I usually just gate crash Samar and Aram's place in those situations though.' In this case however, with Samar and Aram taking a rare date night for themselves while Leila was at Ressler's, Liz and Angus were left to a movie night just between the two of them... Not that either of them –or Sammy, Amelia and Riley, for that matter- were complaining about it.  
'Maybe I'll have to work on that,' Angus murmured. Having so many friends in such close proximity that he could visit as he pleased was still something he was trying to wrap his head around. He had stopped by Aram and Samar's place for Riley to have playdates with Leila a handful of times since moving back, though not nearly with the same frequency as Liz did with Sammy and Amelia. It felt odd to him still, though thankfully only pleasantly so. He just had to remember that they were all there, any time he didn't feel like spending yet another night on the couch by himself, after Riley went to bed.   
'Ahhh,' Liz gasped instead of responding as she too, rose from her chair. Her glass of water, still half full, went splashing all down her shirt. She let out a shiver at the sudden cold splash, and Angus instantly leapt towards the kitchen counter for a tea towel before it spread any further.... Though, not before a loud cry erupted from Amelia's room, breaking the silence. 'Oh, _perfect_ timing,' Liz sighed to herself.   
'Here-' Angus handed over the tea towel, breaking into the soft grin of someone trying not to look too amused by the situation '-I can check on her, before she wakes Sammy too.'

He ambled down the hall towards Amelia before Liz could even protest and say he didn't have to. It only took a few seconds to dry herself off and quickly catch up to him, but by the time she reached the doorway Angus had already gently picked Amelia up and had her cradled quietly in the crook of his arm. Liz paused suddenly, watching them in amazement. He was so calm with Amelia, rocking her gently back and forth with nothing but affection on his face. The cries were already fading.

'You're good with her,' Liz whispered, shaking her head in delighted disbelief at the observation, 'she doesn't normally like people she's not used to.' She stopped there, not adding on any further observations at people normally preferring not to have to settle other people's sensitive, crying babies –unlike Angus, who didn't seem to mind even in the slightest.   
'She can probably just sense that screaming babies don't bother me,' he murmured back. 'Riley was a fussy little one too, when he was a baby.' Angus glanced up to her from Amelia now quiet and still in his arms, a look of almost regretful contemplation etching its way across his face. 'I think it's an attachment thing. It took a while after his mother left us, before he settled properly,' he added quietly. Liz offered a sympathetic smile; no words were needed to know she understood. It was interesting though, Liz noted, how Angus picked up exactly what Amelia's struggle was, without knowing _all_ the details of her background.  

It went to show just how awful an effect Riley's mother had both on him and their little boy.

At least on the other hand, they way Riley always seemed such a happy boy these days was a reassurance that Amelia too, would eventually be ok.  

Liz kept watching as Angus kept rocking, making no move to take her baby girl from him as those wide green eyes fluttered closed and then stayed firmly shut.  

'I think she's asleep again,' Liz observed, her voice as quiet as possible. Angus grinned up at her, nodding his agreement, before lowering Amelia gently back into her crib. Liz peered over the edge, smiling softly at her little girl, and adjusting the stuffed panda that sat in the side so it was a little closer to where Angus had set Amelia down. The panda -Patches, as Aram had named it when Liz continued on the joke that Aram should name all the kids' toys with his hyperactive imagination- was one of the few things that had come with Amelia from her original home, and did wonders at helping keep her calm in her crib.   
'I should probably go,' Angus said, stifling a quiet yawn with his hand as they walked side by side back into the living room.   
'You sure?' Liz asked. She glanced hesitantly back and forth between him and Riley, still out like a log on the couch. 'It seems a shame to wake him up.' Angus shifted his gaze to his son, his eyes crinkling in affection and amusement.   
'He's taking up the entire couch,' he chuckled, observing the way that the three and a half year old had somehow starfished his way across the couch to take up the entire space, despite the take that it had already been folded out into bed mode for him. Angus glanced back at Liz, noting her suddenly standing closer to him than she had been before. 'I guess I could move him over without waking him...'

Liz broke into a coy smile. There was just something about Angus that made it damn near impossible to push aside the burning attraction to focus solely on Amelia. The flickering in her belly over him had barely ceased since they returned home from Ocean City, making Liz wonder why she was even bothering to try.  

Angus understood any worry she might have about starting up something new with kids in tow. After all, he had one too.

And they all got along spectacularly.

And Angus was one of the few people besides her that Amelia was comfortable with.  

And those butterflies in her belly that felt like the awkward end of a date, fluttered in his belly too.  

Angus took one step closer to her, just as Liz took one step closer to him. His soft fingertips brushed the hair out of her face and crept gently around her waist. Hers crept down his cheek, down his neck, along his shoulders, pulling him closer to her until her lips found his.  

'I've got a better idea,' she breathed.  

/*/*/*/*

**_WEDNESDAY MORNING..._ **

The sunlight flickered through the cracks in Liz's curtains, making her eyes flutter open. She yawned as she rolled over, then smiled at the sight of Angus next to her... His bare chest only partly covered by the sheets, and his own flickering eyelids battling the light's attempts to open them.  
'Good morning,' Liz murmured, curling happily into his side.   
'Mmmmm,' Angus' voice hummed back. One arm flung out to wrap around her, and his head turned on the pillow, brushing against her cheek and sleepily kissing her there. 'Morning,' he mumbled.  
'Not a morning person?' Liz laughed softly. Another arm crept around her, and Angus' face buried itself in her hair, making her chuckle even more so.   
'I'm just enjoying laying here,' came his muffled, content sigh from her hair, and Liz took that to mean his answer to her question was a definite 'no'. 'Do we have to get out of bed?' A smirk cracked across Liz's face, though still she made no move to shuffle away from him. She was quite comfortable there.

Alas, the date was not in their favour. It was the fourth of July, and they had places to be.

'Aram and Samar might be suspicious if we don't turn up at the picnic,' Liz mused. In an instant, as he remembered the date, Angus' eyes flew open. He rolled over slightly, now properly awake, and propped himself up on the pillow with his elbow to face her.   
'How do you want to tell them?' He asked. There was a seriousness on his face, though without any trace of worry.   
'Honestly,' Liz nodded as she replied, matching his calm and earnest, 'we can't hide this from them.'  
'Agreed,' Angus murmured back, breaking into a soft smile. Liz grinned back, glad that the matter was sorted so quickly and easily. Angus' elbow slipped back and he leaned in again. Liz rolled back eagerly, pulling him in closer, and-

'- _Daaaddyyyy_ ,' Riley's excited voice sailed through air down the hallway and echoed in their ears. Liz let out a gasp and both of them sprung apart in an instant. Liz pulled the covers straight up to her chin –not that she was uncovered, her tank top and sleep shorts covered more than enough, but it was the little boy about to run into the room that had her instinctively reaching for more.   
'Ah,' Angus called out, and just in the nick of time, 'hold on a second, buddy.' If the shadow on the wall that they could see through the gap in the door was any indication, Riley stopped as instructed... _Just_ shy of the door. 'Sorry,' Angus hurriedly whispered, eyes wide with alarm, 'it didn't even cross my mind to warn you that he might come running in.'  
'It's ok,' Liz muttered back, giving a quick, reassuring shake of her head as she glanced about the bed, double checking to make sure they were both suitably covered. 'I didn't even think of it either, my two are still in cribs.' Angus broke into an awkward grin, both of them chuckling under their breaths as the surprise wore off. It was an idea Liz knew she had to get used to anyway; Sammy was only a few months –a year at absolute most- away from moving out of a crib and into a big bed herself. Angus quickly rolled to pick his shirt up off the floor beside the bed, and slipped it over his head. Sharing one last, amused grin, Angus shifted his gaze back to the half-ajar door.   
'Alright, Riles,' he called out, 'come on in.'

One, tiny blonde head peered curiously around the door, the attached body nearly shaking in the attempt not to burst with excitement.  

Liz and Angus both smiled back, and that was all the cue Riley needed. He lurched forwards, bounding across the room, jumping up onto the bed, and then scrambling across the covers to throw himself into his father's arms.

' _Daddy, we had a sleepover at Lizzie's house_ ,' Riley exclaimed. His eyes were wide with excitement as if he couldn't believe it. He beamed up at Angus for a second, before squirming in his arms to turn and beam at Liz too. The sleepover hadn't exactly been planned; after all, it was simply supposed to be a playdate for the kids and dinner, followed by a Disney movie _during_ which the kids all fell asleep... And then Liz and Angus took the opportunity to watch a movie of their own, until everything escalated from there.   
'Yeah we did, buddy,' Angus chuckled, pressing a kiss to the top of his son's head, 'did you have fun?'  
'Uh huh,' Riley's head bobbed eagerly up and down in response to the question, 'I like Lizzie, she's funny.' Liz bit her lip to stifle a laugh, and shot Angus an almost victorious grin, just before the little boy turned around to glance back at her once more; 'can we sleepover here again?' Angus instantly winced. For a second, Liz didn't even know how to respond.   
'Uhh...' Angus began, giving Liz an apologetic look, 'not tonight, Riley.' He paused, curiously eyeing the way Liz didn't seem to mind the question at all. If anything, she seemed amused... And there was another of the coy grins spreading quickly across her face that he had seen the night before. With that, Angus pressed another kiss to the top of his son's head before the little boy went scrambling across the covers again to cuddle Liz too; 'but maybe another day.'

/*/*/*/*

Samar, and Aram arrived at the park first, and quickly spread out the first picnic blanket. Zahra and Mina arrived next, then so too did Mehri and Naveed, and Ressler with Leila babbling quite happily by his side. Liz arrived after that, with Sammy and Amelia in tow. She and Angus had made a point of eating breakfast together _quickly_ , and then going their separate ways for the morning, just so the kids could go about their usual morning routines and more importantly... _They would arrive at the park separately_.  

Sammy wasted no time in eagerly chasing Leila and Mina around on the grass. Amelia, now crawling with ease, moved about quite contently on the collection of picnic blankets. 

' _Lizzie_ ,' Riley's excited voice drew the attention of all the adults on the blankets, as the little boy ran enthusiastically ahead of his father towards the group. He practically jumped on Liz as he reached them all, and she wrapped her arms around him equally happily.   
'Hey Riles,' she greeted him back.  
'Hey,' Aram joking protested, 'where's _my_ hug?' Riley squirmed around in Liz's arms, shooting Aram a cheeky grin. He wriggled his way to freedom again, then lurched across the blanket, hugging Aram in equal enthusiasm.  
'Uncle Ram, I had a sleepover at Lizzie's house,' the little boy burst out happily as he threw his arms around Aram.

Aram froze. As did Angus, coming to a sudden halt at the edge of the picnic blanket. Liz winced, and Samar bit her lip. Mehri and Zahra both watched on awkwardly, not sure how really to respond. Only Naveed and Ressler, over on the grass chasing the kids and out of earshot, missed the outburst.

'Did you?' Aram asked slowly. He tried to put on the enthusiastic tone of talking to a child who had no idea of the significance of what he had just revealed, but it didn't come out quite right. The words caught in his throat on the way out, desperately trying to give the situation the benefit of the doubt. 'Did Daddy go out somewhere?' Samar glanced curiously back and forth between Liz and Angus, knowing exactly what Aram was trying to figure out; whether Liz had just babysat Riley for some reason... Or whether it was exactly what Aram had been dreading since March.  
'Nuh uh,' Riley shook his head matter of factly. Angus tried desperately to stifle a groan. 'Daddy was there too.'   
'Uh, Riley, maybe not-' Liz tried to gently interject, but Riley wasn't finished informing Aram about _everything_ he had witnessed that morning.   
'-But I think he and Lizzie stayed up too late because they were sleepy still even when they waked up-' the little boy continued –much to Aram's horror- until Angus finally found the words to stop him.     
'-Okaaay,' he said, perhaps a little louder than usual to speak over his son. 'Riley, little man,' he awkwardly tried to prompt the boy who glanced up at him in total, innocent confusion and curiosity, 'why don't you go say hi to Sammy and Leila, I'm sure they'd love to play with you.' Riley furrowed his brow in confusion, but shrugged and scampered off across the grass towards the other little ones anyway.

Aram turned his head to stare up at Angus still standing at the blanket's edge rather than having sat down. One eyebrow was raised; a twisted mix of suspicion and something vaguely resembling disappointment. Liz glanced back and forth between them both, torn over what to say... And Samar had no idea where to look. She had none of the issues Aram did with the idea of Liz and Angus potentially seeing each other but at the same time, she knew exactly how seriously Aram took the idea... And in all honesty, she sympathised with all three as a result.

Mehri and Zahra took that as their cue to not so discreetly wander away across the grass to join Naveed, Ressler, and the kids.  

'Aram-' Liz cautiously tried to start.  
'-Was this the, uh... First time this happened?' Aram began all at the same time, trying desperately  -and _failing_ \- to sound casual. Unable to meet Liz's eye, he continued almost _glaring_ up at Angus. His two best friends –if not counting Samar who fell more under the category of 'girlfriend' anyway- from two completely different aspects of his life... It felt like his worlds were colliding, and it wasn't comfortable _at all_.              
'Yes-' Angus started.  
'-We were already planning to talk to you about it,' Liz spoke gently, and exactly at the same time.   
'And I know you said don't go there, but-' Angus added, until Liz cut him off.  
'-He-' her head whipped around, switching her gaze in instant frustration from Angus to Aram; '- _you did what?'_ Aram shuffled uncomfortably on the spot.  
'I wasn't going to mention it,' Angus said quickly, gently raising one hand in a calming gesture to both of them. Liz let out a small sigh, but otherwise dropped the issue; of course, Angus was going to try and protect his friend, while at the same time doing the exact opposite of what that friend had told him.  

At the very least, it eased the tension in Aram's shoulders and the thunder on his face. Well, _slightly_ anyway. But that was a start, and it was enough for Angus to actually be able to _sit_ down on the picnic blanket with the rest of them.  

'Aram,' Liz began again, taking a breath to try and both steady herself, and be fair to Aram in her own defence. 'Neither of us are stupid. If there's any one person who understands exactly how cautious I need to be about starting something with someone when I have Sammy and Amelia as well, it's Angus because he has to think about Riley too.' She shot Angus a quick glance, smiling softly at him in thought; 'and vice versa, I guess.'  
'I just don't want to see either of my friends get hurt,' Aram protested, then gestured quickly between himself and Samar; 'or us getting caught in the middle.' Samar raised an eyebrow, and a hand too –in a gesture of wanting to stay _far_ out of the conflict.   
'In the unlikely event that this doesn't work out,' Angus added softly, trying to offer Aram a reassuring smile, 'I think we're both reasonable enough not to expect you to take sides, brother.' Liz quickly nodded her agreement, and Aram squirmed on the spot, completely unable to think of any other argument to counter theirs. He knew there really was nothing he could do to stop them, and that he'd have to find a way to accept the idea and make peace with it... But it was the discomfort of getting to that point, that made it all the more difficult. He needed time, now that it was a reality, to process the idea and get used to it –and quickly, too.  

Everyone took his silence as cue to move on, that the matter was settled and they could carry on as they had before it started.  

Aram made no further protest. To their credit, Liz and Angus kept as much of their affection for one another on the downlow as they could as the afternoon went on. As much as they wanted Aram to be accepting of the situation, they both knew blasting it repeatedly in his face while he adjusted to the idea, was going to do little to help him do so. Samar took charge as Aram stayed quietly contemplating it all and trying to act normal. She served up the picnic lunch, spreading the dishes they had all brought, across the blankets to share, then handing out plates and cutlery where needed.  

After lunch, Amelia moving across the blanket to try crawling on the grass instead, proved to be all kinds of fascinating entertainment for the rest of the kids –who alternated between following her, toddling in front, or crawling alongside, all the while encouraging her and giggling.  

Liz stood close by under one of the trees, watching on proudly as Amelia moved about quite comfortably beside Sammy. The two of them -after some hiccups relating to Amelia's discomfort with strangers, and Sammy's adjustment to sharing with a new little sister- were finally getting along quite well. Angus waited a while before moving to stand beside Liz, waiting for Aram to begrudgingly gesture for him to go.  

Samar shook her head, both exasperated and amused, as she watched Aram who in turn, was busily watching Angus and Liz trying not to casually wrap arms around each other's backs. Riley meanwhile, lurched forwards when Amelia stopped crawling and resumed laying on her belly, trying to prompt her up again... And at that point, Liz reached for Angus' hand and squeezed his fingers in delight without even really thinking about it.  

'Before you worry one second longer about potentially being caught in the middle,' Samar muttered to Aram, when he let out a small sigh. 'How do you think Liz felt when you and I starting seeing each other as more than friends?' Aram paused as the question registered in his brain. He blinked, then furrowed his brow, turning his head slowly to stare back at her.  
'...I hadn't thought of that,' he murmured back.   
'And in the ridiculously unlikely event that something pulls us apart,' Samar spoke again, the tiniest hint of a smirk tugging at her lips, 'would you expect her to take sides between us?' Aram's eyes widened slightly, and he hurriedly shook his head.   
'Not for a second,' he insisted. Finally, the smirk broke out across Samar's face.   
'Exactly.' Aram bowed his head slightly as her words hit home; he really was just wanting to look out for everyone as he always did, but perhaps in his desperation to do so, he had gone overboard. His shoulders slumped and he let out a dejected sigh, frustrated at himself and at the idea he may have unintentionally come across as petty. The smirk vanished from Samar's face, replaced instead by a contemplative, affectionate smile as she watched Aram's internal battle play out across his face. All he had needed was that moment of perspective... And if anything, Samar thought to herself as she slipped her arm around Aram's back and contently leaned into his side, that moment of perspective worked both ways too. The biggest reveal of the day might have been the milestone for Liz and Angus, but it served as a lesson for themselves too. It went to show just how far they had come from their own initial hesitations, and how much they had each grown together ever since.  

Samar was even happily displaying her affection for him in public now –still subtly, but far less subtly than she had once upon a time, and now without anywhere near as much fear of judgement.

Aram let out another sigh, though less pained this time. He wrapped his own arm loosely around Samar too, reassured that despite his mistake and his need to process, she didn't seem irritated with him in the slightest.   
'...Ridiculously unlikely event that something pulls us apart?' He meekly tried to tease. 'You trying to tell me something else as well?' Samar's lip twitched despite all attempts not to let it. She paused before responding, focusing instead on Leila running towards both of them with her arms just as wide as her grin. Samar crouched down just long enough to catch her, then hoisted her into the air with all the necessary sound effects. She shot Aram a wry grin over the top of Leila's mahogany curls, knowing he knew exactly what she did; the chance of either of them allowing anything to ever pull them apart was even slimmer than 'ridiculously unlikely'. She leaned in, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek as she responded;   
'Oh, shush.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, the impending terrible twos has Samar and Aram wonder if they've made the right decision, in 'Tantrums'.


	99. Tantrums

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Saturday, July 21, 2018.
> 
> The second of today's two chapters... And hopefully some more foreshadowing of things to come. Enjoy!

Leila toddled along quite happily between Samar and Aram as they moved up and down the aisles of the supermarket, picking up groceries... Or at least, at first anyway. The nearly two year old was in a funny mood, preferring only to take one of their hands at a time, and using her other hand to get into mischief –such as playing with products on the lowest shelves or worse, pulling them off. The funny mood wasn't so unusual; every so often a day passed where she seemed particularly intent on pushing buttons and exploring her boundaries, but today was notably more so. Over and over again, they pulled her away from the shelves so that they were just out of reach, and every time she insisted on stretching her arm as far as she could to reach for them again.  

And earlier that morning she had been just as intently focused on throwing her soft toys _everywhere_ all over the living room.  

Trying to distract her from the apparently destructive determination was exhausting.

Now at the supermarket, it was at the point where Samar was just about ready to pick her up off her feet, and set her instead in the child seat at the front of the shopping cart. That was something Leila hated these days now that she could move around on her feet, thus why it was a last resort. With the mood that Leila was in already, placing her in that seat probably wouldn't end well either.  

The bumping of two cans off the lowest shelf and sending them rolling down the aisle was the last straw.  
'Leila, _no_ ,' Samar repeated for what felt like the umpteenth time that morning, as calm as she had every other time, but still firm. Aram went quickly scurrying down the aisle and back, collecting the two cans and returning them to their shelf before they accidentally became a trip hazard. Samar turned on the spot, moving to reach down and pick Leila up and move her to the cart, but the little girl squirmed against her grasp, throwing herself down to sit on the floor instead.

'That's different,' Aram observed, glancing warily back and forth between Samar, and Leila now sitting there on the floor, screwing up her face in disgust. She had never done _that_ before; normally the umpteenth 'no', moving her somewhere else and a distraction was enough. Sure, she would grumble in complaint and fuss with whatever she could reach next for a brief period, but eventually the boundary pushing would cease. Throwing herself on the floor instead, was definitely a new reaction.  
'Leila,' Samar murmured calmly but firmly again, 'come on.' She paused for a minute, waiting just for a second to see to if Leila would push herself up and return to their side of her own volition before picking her up instead. For once, Leila didn't. Instead, and as Samar moved forwards again to try and lift her from the floor, Leila's bottom lip popped out threateningly. There was a growl that erupted from the little girl's throat and she shook her head. She scowled even more so, and the volume rose.  
'Ohh, that's not good,' Aram commented under his breath. He too, quickly moved forwards to scoop up the wriggling, squirming toddler, but neither of them were fast enough.

Leila rolled, throwing herself onto the floor on her belly, and let out an earsplitting howl.

Other people in the aisle turned and stared in response to the sudden noise. Samar and Aram both winced, glancing back at each other not knowing what to do. Leila had barely thrown a tantrum at all before, and certainly never one in public. They were both sure that eventually, after experiencing a few more, they would know exactly what worked for Leila in regards to stopping them quickly but for now, suddenly faced with her first major tantrum, there was a distinct hint of panic very quickly setting in. They couldn't ignore her, leave her there or set her in her crib to wear herself out, but neither of them were inclined in the slightest to simply give Leila whatever she wanted to pacify her either. That wouldn't exactly teach her the right lesson.  

Samar finally managed to scoop Leila up and hold her to her chest, rubbing the little girl's back and making soothing noises to try and calm her in as neutral a fashion as she could think of, but it didn't help. Leila fought in her grasp, drumming her little fists against Samar's shoulders, and continuing to fuss and yell. Aram took charge of the cart, picking up the pace with the shopping while Samar worked on trying to calm Leila down, so that at the very least, they could finish up the shopping and take her home –and more importantly, out of the public place- as soon as possible. Samar wracked her brain for every conflicting thing she had read about the impending and so called 'terrible twos', desperate to find what would stop the howling. Getting angry with Leila wouldn't help, or so she had read. It would only make the little girl more upset and fussy. In her current state, she was beyond being reasoned with too. At the same time, giving in and being too soft would be the quickest way to stop the noise in public, but also the quickest way to prompt later tantrums when Leila figured out the pattern... And either way, the staring people all around them would continue to judge, no matter what she did. 

Trying to soothe Leila in a neutral fashion that was calm and not angry, but didn't give in, seemed the best thing Samar could think of. And so, she gently bounced Leila in her arms as she and Aram quickly moved up and down the last couple of aisles and headed towards the cashier, still murmuring gentle encouragement to settle down as she did so. The volume slowly lowered a little, and the drumming against her shoulder finally stopped, though the squirming and crying continued. There was a memory that pushed itself to the forefront of her mind despite the situation. One, clouded by the fuzziness of time passed and her own young age at the time, of Shahin having a small tantrum when he was of a similar age, and their mother soothing him with music.  

And so, almost without realising it at first, Samar found herself humming under her breath. Random tunes at first, whatever came to mind first in an odd combination of songs heard on store or car radios in recent days, before finally finding herself settling on one tune; one of those old lullabies her mother used to sing, of which Samar could remember fractions of the tune even though the words were gone from her mind for good. Leila's lingering loud cries slowly eased to unhappy grizzling as they reached the cashier, and she fell still in Samar's arms. It was only then that Samar even noticed the full cart beside her, and that Aram had hurriedly picked up every remaining item from their shopping list, all the while staying by her side and trying to murmur soothing words of his own to them both.           

They shared a glance, holding each other's gazes for a moment with the tiniest hint of weary smiles... Relieved, that they were getting through it.  

/*/*/*/*

As per usual, Leila fell sound asleep in the car on the drive home, bringing Samar and Aram the reprieve of much needed quiet. Still asleep when they arrived home, they lowered her gently into her crib to continue her nap while they put away the groceries... And then finally, when they were done, Samar flopped onto the couch, exhausted after being on edge all morning.  

'Did we make the wrong decision?' She sighed, glancing at Aram sinking into the couch beside her just as wearily. He briefly raised an eyebrow, knowing exactly what she was referring to, but otherwise shook his head.   
'No,' he laughed softly.  
'Who wants kids?' Samar scoffed, albeit drolly. 'That's crazy. _Kids_ are crazy.'  
'Does wanting kids really make you crazy?' Aram teased back, 'or is the insanity what happens after you have the kids and they _drive_ you crazy?' Samar let out a small, wry smile. For all their frustration at Leila's tantrum, and the dread of it inevitably happening again before she grew out of whatever new phase she was in, the behaviour was normal for her age and they knew it. They also loved her to the end of the earth and back, and then some, no matter what... And they still wanted another.   
'I think that's a chicken and egg problem better left to a philosopher,' she mused. She stifled a yawn, then tipped herself gently sideways, resting her head on his knee and blinking up at him.   
'Oooh.' Aram broke into a grin. 'Maybe Leila will figure that out one day.'  
'You think she'd have the patience to be a philosopher?' Samar scoffed, albeit only teasingly. They had already well established that Leila had her same active personality... And general lack of patience. Aram chuckled to himself as he nodded, thinking it over and conceding easily.  
'True.'  
'She's going to be a fighter of some kind...' Samar smiled to herself at the very idea.    
'Oh, she could be a lawyer.'  
'We hate lawyers.' Glancing up at him, Samar raised a wry eyebrow. Aram rolled his eyes in mock exasperation.   
'We hate _criminal defence_ lawyers,' he corrected her, shaking his head. Samar smirked; of course, in law enforcement there was that stereotype of clashing with any and every kind of lawyer, but even she knew it wasn't always true. At the very least, the lawyer who had helped them file Aram's application to adopt Leila, was far from someone they considered to be against them. Regardless, Aram continued in his musings, ignoring her smirk in favour of marvelling at his own sudden lightbulb moment. '...And the lawyers that are just really obnoxious. She could specialise in humanitarian law.'  
'Or she could be an athlete... Or a musician. Or a doctor. Or a teacher.' Samar counted off each thought and possibility for Leila's future on her fingers.   
'A teacher for underprivileged kids?' Aram suggested, grinning again. Samar laughed softly –and adoringly- under her breath, finding his fingers where they sat on the edge of the couch by her side and taking them in hers.   
'You're really stuck on this social justice warrior thing, huh?' She observed, eyes crinkling happily at the delighted grin on his face. Aram gave a nonchalant shrug, trying to shake off the way his cheeks flushed with the tiniest hint of pink.   
'It's just a gut feeling,' he murmured softly. It was nice to take that moment of pause together, and to ponder what the future may hold for their little girl and by extension, them. All Samar hoped, was that her little girl would never feel the need to go down the same path that she had; that she would never feel so driven to chase down criminals in some kind of twisted, internal quest to right the injustices that haunted her. Samar hoped that Leila would never have to experience any such injustice, that she herself could protect Leila from them and allow her daughter to grow up happy and at peace with the world. Any other possible field or career choice that Leila could choose, Samar would accept so long as her daughter was happy, no matter what it was... Though she couldn't deny, the idea of Leila growing up to do good of some kind, had a soft, warm smile crossing her face already.

'What about hypothesis baby, then?' Samar thought aloud, breaking the silence as the idea suddenly occurred to her. Aram's hand drifted absentmindedly to rest across her belly as it once had repeatedly when she was pregnant, this time subconsciously either willing it to happen again or fiercely protecting even the tiniest of tadpoles that might have already begun to grow without them knowing. Samar's hand shifted to rest across his in much the same fashion. There was such a desperate want there now; the longer they went about not-trying, the more the idea evolved from a mere whim to something far more serious. In the same way, the lack of progress evolved even quicker from something at which they nonchalantly shrugged, to something all the more frustrating -suspense and impatience. Regardless, just as pondering Leila's future made them both smile, the sudden thought of their possible second child some time in the future made him smile too.   
'Is that what we're calling it now?' He chuckled.   
'Do you have a better idea?' Samar shot drolly back.  
'No, but you had to think of names before Leila was born.' Aram shook his head again in mock exasperation. 'Come on.'  
'I only thought of names after I knew she was a girl.' Samar admitted, thinking back to two years earlier. 'I didn't think about boys names at all.'  
'Well that's a start.'  
'She was nearly Ayla for a moment there. Or Aysha.'  
'I like both of those,' Aram mused, nodding adamantly at the very thought of them. 'Hey, actually...' He trailed off for a moment, wondering.  
'Mmm?' Samar hummed, glancing up at him curiously.  
'You know how Leila's middle name is after your mother, sort of?' Aram cautiously began.  
'Yeah?'  
'Do you think hypothesis baby's middle name could be after one of my parents?' Aram bit his lip as soon as the hesitant question left his lips. There was just something about the idea of both honouring his parents and tying their little family together with the continued pattern all at once, that resonated with him... But he wasn't sure if Samar would agree.  
'Naveed for a boy, or Mehri for a girl?' She asked softly. A small, but genuine smile began to cross her face, and she squeezed his hand again as he nodded quickly; 'I think that's perfect.'

Aram's entire face lit up in delighted joy.  

'Aysha Mehri?' He eagerly suggested.  
'Or Something Naveed...' Samar pondered aloud, nodding slowly in thought.  
'Avi,' Aram said suddenly. 'Avi Naveed.' There was something about his tone; a sudden enthusiasm and determination for the name that had just popped into mind out of nowhere.   
'That's a Hebrew name,' Samar observed, tilting her head slightly to one side in amused curiosity at the outburst.  
'I know. It just seems... Fitting, in my head.' Aram shrugged, offering her a sheepish grin as he continued; 'you know, you're Iranian but you work for Israel. I'm half Jewish, half Muslim. There's a trend there. Leila's name is mixed too, language-wise.' Samar nodded. That made sense to her too.   
'Avi Naveed it is, then,' she mused. Aram held her gaze silently for a moment, furrowing his brow almost suspiciously.   
'That was way too easy,' he commented, almost stunned. Not that he had ever had to name a child before –after all, Samar had chosen Leila's name while they were still in the early stages of their relationship- but the process was, to him, something that seemed like it was supposed to take months of debate and consideration. Samar simply shrugged.   
'I'd rather that than still not be able to figure out their name until after they're born,' she countered gently. She had chosen Leila's name –or her first name, anyway- quickly too, and to this day had no desire in hindsight to have picked anything else in its place. 'Plus, we can always change it. I'm not even pregnant.' Still resting her head on his knees, she stared up at him, letting out a reassuring smile as she continued; 'these names we've picked today aren't set in stone forever.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, Chapter 100!!! We're getting to the pointy end of things, folks. Chapter 100 is titled 'Seconds', and if you've been keeping an eye on the dates and some of the title patterns, you might even be able to hazard a guess on the occasion I kept marked for this chapter number milestone. :)


	100. Seconds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date: Saturday, August 4, 2018.
> 
> Surprise post! I'm stuck in a waiting room for ages with nothing better to do, sooo... Here you go.

The squeals and laughter of happy children filled the park air. It was breezy and perhaps even a little cold, but not too much so. The clouds formed little more than casual polka dots in the otherwise blue sky, and the sun shone brightly... It was the perfect weather to match the colourful birthday balloons and banners hanging up around the gazebo and neighbouring trees in the corner of the park that Samar and Liz had called dibs on when they arrived far earlier that morning.  

Their little girls were two. Well, _almost_ in Leila's case, but certainly close enough.  

With both of them big enough now to know their birthday meant something important, but too little to really understand their party as anything more than a large playdate, plus the fact that their birthdays were so close together and they shared the exact same circle of friends, Samar and Liz had decided to share one party for Leila and Sammy, somewhere halfway between their actual birthdates. The theming was a mashup; everything from Leila's love of dinosaurs that Aram had already well and truly instilled, to Sammy's growing love for fairy princesses, and everything in between. Everyone was dressed up however they pleased -even Samar had a few flowers in her hair and fairy wings pinned to the back of her dinosaur themed t-shirt.

But, the most important part was that they all brought their favourite stuffed animals for the teddy bear's picnic.

Mr Spikes and Ziggy sat front and centre on their own specially designated stuffed animal picnic blanket. Mina's beloved ragdoll made by Zahra sat on Mr Spikes' other side, with Sara and Isaac's matching blue and pink miniature twin bears next after that. Riley's green dragon, Amelia's panda –Patches, who for the occasion, was decked out in a tutu and a tiara- and a number of other creatures of all shapes, sizes and colours completed the circle. Their collective owners meanwhile, played quite happily on the grass and playground, all still squealing and laughing at the top of their gleeful voices. With Sammy, Leila, Riley, Mina, Amelia, the twins, and a small handful of friends from the Post Office childcare centre who belonged to some of the other agents in the building, the group was just enough for a toddler sized party in the sunshine, without going over the top. Whether or not Mina would come, given her fear of crowds of strangers, had been borderline for a brief moment –but, the little girl had been given the option to choose for herself, and had bravely decided to try... And so far, if how happy she seemed playing with the people she already knew -which was easily half the group- was supposed to be any kind of indication, Zahra's backup plan of taking her home and visiting Leila separately later wasn't likely to be necessary.

Even Cooper strolled amongst the crowd, and Samar was almost certain she had seen the discreet flip of a fedora for a brief moment before it disappeared again behind the trees.  

/*/*/*/*

'Who's that?' Ressler's curious, borderline _suspicious_ voice echoed in Samar's ears as he appeared beside her –so quietly that if not for the question, she might not have even noticed at first that he was there. She turned, glancing sideways to see what he was referring to, but Ressler's gaze was focused firmly on Leila happily playing in the sandbox with her friends... And the little boy next to her, trying to give her a hug and shyly kissing her cheek.  
'That,' Samar began, trying desperately to suppress an amused smirk as she returned her own gaze back to her daughter, 'is Leila's boyfriend.' A soft growl erupted from Aram's throat where he stood on Samar's other side –one, that he quickly tried to mask as clearing his throat instead.  
'Her -her _what?'_ Ressler spluttered, in exactly the same moment as Aram's unhappy noise. Samar simply rolled her eyes in exasperation at the pair of them.  
'He's one of the little boys at the child care centre,' she explained drily, 'they hold hands at the art table when they scribble with crayons, and he won't leave at the end of the day without giving her a hug.' Samar paused, glancing back and forth between both Aram and Ressler, raising a wry eyebrow. 'It's _cute_.' Plus, it wasn't as if she actively encouraged the idea or said anything along the lines of Leila having a boyfriend to her little girl's face –not even Samar thought it appropriate to push the idea of needing a boyfriend onto Leila... But it did amuse her to label the little boy who so loved to dote on Leila as such in more private moments, especially when it continuously earned the reaction from Aram that it did.

Really, Leila and the little boy saw each other as nothing more than friends, just as she was friends with Sammy –after all, the two of them wouldn't leave the centre at the end of the day without hugging each other either. At that age, they had no concept of anything more... Aram however, had activated his over-protective dad mode anyway.

'She is _not_ allowed to have a boyfriend until she's thirty-five,' he muttered under his breath.  
'At _least_ ,' Ressler murmured his agreement, quickly –and _emphatically_ \- nodding his head. Samar rolled her eyes again; she was sure that in part, they weren't _completely_ serious... But thirty-five was still a little dramatic.  
'My father jokingly tried to suggest that too, once...' Samar allowed her slow words to trail off teasingly, like a carrot dangling over both their heads as she glanced back and forth between them with a raised eyebrow once more. They both knew how old she was, and how old she had been when Leila was born. The uncomfortable lightbulb went off in both Aram and Ressler's heads simultaneously, and they both shuffled awkwardly on their feet, for a moment not quite wanting to meet Samar's eye as their own memories of her quickly flashed through their brains. At that, Samar couldn't help but let out the smirk.  
'I'm still half inclined to talk to this kid's parents about what their son's intentions are with my-' Ressler began, before hurriedly correcting himself '- _our_ Leila.'   
'Knock yourself out,' Samar murmured back, offering nothing more than a nonchalant shrug while her gaze remained firmly on Leila. There was the tiniest of amused twitches that tugged at her lip, that neither Ressler or Aram noticed in their preoccupation –the sort of twitch that went with knowing something they didn't.  
'I'll go with you,' Aram added quickly, lips pursed together in annoyance all of his own.

Samar gave a small shake of her head, watching them both walk away, side by side and teeth gritted in determination.

'So...' Ressler spoke quietly to Aram by his side as the two of them moved across the soft grass, towards the slightly larger crowd of other kids' parents. 'Who does that boy belong to?'  
'Agent Williams,' Aram replied, just as quickly running through in his mind the parents of all of Leila and Sammy's childcare centre friends. Ressler, however, turned quickly, his eyes widening in alarm and snapping quickly to Aram's.  
'Agent... _Williams?'_  
'Yeah.' Aram nodded again as he spoke. 'You know him?'  
'...You don't?' There was a sinking feeling in Aram's gut at Ressler's wary question. There was an equally sinking feeling in Ressler's gut at the realisation of who the sweet, perfectly innocent-looking, curly-haired little boy belonged to –one, that made all sense of his bravado vanish in an instant.

Agent Williams was at _least_ a head taller than him, heavily built and extraordinarily strong. He was the kind of physically intimidating that few criminals in the interrogation room _didn't_ fear, even without Agent Williams uttering a single word. The dark eyed, dark haired man dominated in the training gym downstairs from the war room; Samar was the only agent in the Post Office to have beaten him in any kind of training drill, and even then that was _once_ and she was adamant that it was a lucky fluke. Aram of course, working in a different team from Williams and not generally using the shared training gym, had never seen him before. Ressler, on the other hand, knew exactly who he was approaching as soon as he spotted the head of thick, dark hair that stood higher than anyone else's in the crowd... But aside from casual, polite greetings in the gym, even Ressler had barely spoken to him before.  

'Hey, Ressler,' the deep, but friendly voice greeted Ressler, jolting him from his sudden, cautious thoughts; Agent Williams was right there in front of him and Aram before he even realised it.   
'Uh,' Ressler quickly cleared his throat. 'Hey... Williams.' Aram shifted uncomfortably next to him at the sight of the Agent he had only ever heard about before. Samar had always played down how terrifying the man looked, focusing more on the fact that he was a particularly good agent instead.  

Now he understood _exactly_ why Samar had been so amused by the idea of them potentially confronting the father of the little boy who so loved to dote on Leila.  

Williams, however, had his own gaze focused intently on his own little boy in the sandbox next to Leila, with an adoring grin on his face.  

'Aren’t they adorable?' The deep voice sighed happily both Aram and Ressler, as Williams gestured casually to the kids. He was calm, his body language relaxed, open and friendly. The gentle giant, that was a fierce, stubborn force to be reckoned with in the gym, or in the field if you were a criminal, but who was always calm, soft, and gentle on the inside, and clearly adored his little boy and his wife standing quite contently to his other side. Ressler paused, hesitating at the question, but deciding quickly not to argue out of sheer surprise at the revelation of this side of Williams that he had never seen before.  
'Yeah...' He chuckled, somewhat awkwardly, 'they're really cute.' He glanced discreetly back to Aram on his other side, both of them sharing quizzical expressions and cautious shrugs. Perhaps, the little boy of the gentle giant who was so adamant about teaching his kids respect, wasn't one they needed to worry so much about with Leila... Or at least, perhaps their shared, immediate strike-fear-into-the-heart-of-the-boyfriend instinct could wait until prom night, after all.  

/*/*/*/*

Samar meanwhile, stayed standing exactly where she was. Barely a moment after Aram and Ressler moved away, Liz strolled towards her, claiming their place instead. Samar smiled softly in relieved greeting; both of them had been so busy running around, organising and setting up the party, talking to all the other parents, and playing with the kids, they had barely had a moment to speak to each other. Now they stood, finally in a brief moment of peace where the kids played freely between party games, and while all the other parents mingled amongst themselves... Side by side, just the two of them.  

'How did they get so big, so fast?' Liz sighed, shaking her head in amazement. The baby chubbiness was slowly starting to vanish from the cheeks of both little girls –one of the first signs that they were rapidly leaving babyhood behind, moving just as quickly through toddlerhood and then onwards further again.  
'I honestly don't know,' Samar murmured back, letting out a slow, deep breath of her own.   
'It doesn't feel like it was that long ago that we were having movie nights while comparing bellies, indulging our cravings, and complaining about the girls jumping on our bladders...'  
'I would say we need to do that again, but I kind of prefer not having to pause the movie every five minutes for one of us to run to the bathroom.' Samar pulled her eyes from Leila just long enough to shoot Liz a grin as wry as her voice, and Liz couldn't help but let out a chuckle under her breath at the memory.   
'Does it feel kind of weird to you as well-' Liz spoke again, the soft laugh quickly fading as a more earnest thought suddenly came to mind, '-that I now have two, and... You don't?' Her brow furrowed, glancing quickly at the now eight month old Amelia pulling herself up to try and follow Riley along the grass while holding onto Angus' hands, and back to Samar again. 'I mean, we always said we were baby buddies.'  
' _You_ said we were baby buddies,' Samar shot back, albeit only teasingly. Liz simply rolled her eyes.  
'And you loved it, really,' she retorted, narrowing her eyes at Samar in mock exasperation, 'I _know_ you did.'

Samar broke into a contemplative smile; she did love it, not that she was about to admit it.. And it did feel weird, having always had the feeling of being 'baby buddies' as Liz kept calling it, and seeing Leila and Sammy reach every milestone together, but then not having another of her own to share in those same joys again with Liz and Amelia. They were so used to that dynamic, of sharing their pride in their own little girls, and the pride and love they had for each other's too. When Leila and Sammy learned new things together, there was a unique feeling in the way Samar and Liz could celebrate the new step and share their joy, together... And now, as much as Samar was delighted to see Amelia learn new things and share in Liz's joy over it, it didn't quite feel the same. The bond that Sammy and Leila had in growing up together from the very first moment they laid side by side on a blanket, barely weeks old, to now where they insisted on doing _everything_ together, was a bond that Samar and Liz shared and loved to watch too. Even to both of them now, Amelia not having an 'other half' as such, like Sammy and Leila had each other, felt strange.

...That did little to ease Samar's impatience for a result of her and Aram's not-trying, nor the frustration of trying to keep that information to herself. For some reason, despite her impatience, she still didn't quite feel ready to tell Liz what she was trying to do. Saying it out loud to anyone but Aram made what they were trying to do feel all the more real, and that made the lack of results all the more difficult; Amelia was the constant reminder of what Liz now had, and Samar still did not. It was a feeling Samar couldn't quite identify; it wasn't jealousy or resentment -she was all too genuinely pleased for Liz about Amelia for either of those- but it was a feeling of something just not quite being right. It stirred in her gut from time to time in uncomfortable, little waves that bugged her, and nothing Samar could do quite managed to ease it.

'It does feel a little weird,' Samar admitted quietly, and reluctantly. Her shoulders sank a little as she spoke; not enough to be alarming, but easily enough for Liz to notice the tiny difference and curiously file it away in the back of her mind. Regardless, Samar let out a soft smile, wanting to reassure Liz all the same; 'but I don't mind. More than anything I'm just glad that you're finally adopting like you always wanted.' Liz let out a soft smile of her own at that, shuffling ever so slightly closer to Samar to gently bump her side with her arm in a friendly, but wordlessly understanding gesture. The moment barely lasted a second, before Sammy and Leila came hurtling towards them from the sandbox, with wide smiles, happily crinkled eyes, and arms thrown out wide for Samar and Liz to catch them upon impact. All at once, Liz lifted Sammy and Samar lifted Leila into their respective arms. The two little girls nuzzled into their shoulders, still grinning at each other just as Samar and Liz grinned at each other. Leila outstretched one arm to hold loosely onto Liz's sleeve next to where Sammy was already doing the same, all the while Sammy too, reached out to brush her tiny fingers against Samar's cheek.   
'Mamaaaa,' Leila babbled happily to herself, under her breath.   
'See?' Samar laughed softly, 'we'll always be baby buddies.' Liz grinned again as she dotted an affectionate kiss to the top of Sammy's head, and then gently squeezed Leila's tiny fingers on her arm.   
'Even when they're legally adults and running off to college?' She asked drolly.  
'Oh, especially then,' Samar chuckled, nodding in exaggerated earnestness, 'they're always going to be our babies. Besides-' she shot Liz a mischievous, teasing expression '-I'm going to need someone to cry with me so I don't look like a crazy person watching them fly away, when they leave us behind at the airport.'  
'Always, huh?' Liz and Samar held each other's gazes for that second of solidarity. Samar nodded again as she tousled Leila's messy curls and Sammy's wavy pigtails in turn, this time genuinely rather than in jest.  
'Always.'

/*/*/*/*

The adults rallied up all the kids, bringing them back to the gazebo where Aram, Ressler, and Angus helped Liz and Samar quickly bring out the cake and set out all the paper plates and plastic cutlery. The "Happy 2nd Birthday Sammy and Leila" banner hand painted by Mehri and Naveed hung high above all their heads, as Samar and Liz then lifted their two munchkins up off their feet, and held them just high enough to lean over the table. It took a moment to remind them both not to blow out the candles until everyone was finished singing Happy Birthday, but after that the flames were gone from their two candles each, in an instant.  

Samar and Liz shared yet another thoughtful glance across the table as they set Leila and Sammy back on their tiny seats, before returning to the end to slice the cake.

'Always?' Samar whispered again past the loud squeals and laughter of some twelve children, unheard by anyone but Liz back by her side once more. Unseen by anyone under the edge of the table, Samar felt Liz grasp her fingers and squeeze them tightly.   
'Always,' she heard Liz's determined, quiet whisper ring in her ears in response.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, we leave the fluff behind for a while and return to angst, in 'Devastation'.
> 
> Now, just a content warning about that one that I will repeat at the top of it as well; 'Devastation' is a chapter that you may not necessarily want to read if you have any concerns/triggers/sensitivities/etc where it comes to difficult pregnancy complications. (I'm assuming that given the premise and backstory in this fic, anyone who does have such concerns wouldn't still be reading it, but I will always include these warnings anyway just to be fair and respectful to all.) I would elaborate further, but I'm both trying to put it more delicately here, as well as avoid spoilers for those who will read it. 
> 
> Just as with every other chapter I've done that refers to issues that may be difficult for people, I have tried to write this particular aspect of the plot in a way that is both respectful to this deeply emotive issue, while also trying to keep it realistic and in character. While it is a difficult chapter in that the characters face something incredibly sad, the ending is one that though acknowledging their sadness, also does give them a certain degree of hope.
> 
> Please know that no offense, if any at all is taken, is intended at all. But if anyone is offended anyway, you do have my earnest apologies in advance. You all know the drill by now if you've read this far in the story; if there's any concern before reading that you would like clarified, or if you'd prefer a less detailed summary at the end instead, feel free to ask. If you'd rather skip the chapter in its entirety, you are also most welcome to do so. :)


	101. Devastation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date: Saturday-Monday, August 11-13, 2018.
> 
> Just repeating the warning for this chapter that I put at the end of the last one: this is a chapter that you may not necessarily want to read if you have any concerns/triggers/sensitivities/etc where it comes to difficult pregnancy complications. (I'm assuming that given the premise and backstory in this fic, anyone who does have such concerns wouldn't still be reading it, but I will always include these warnings anyway just to be fair and respectful to all.) I would elaborate further, but I'm both trying to put it more delicately here, as well as avoid spoilers for those who will read it.
> 
> Just as with every other chapter I've done that refers to issues that may be difficult for people, I have tried to write this particular aspect of the plot in a way that is both respectful to this deeply emotive issue, while also trying to keep it realistic and in character. While it is a difficult chapter in that the characters face something incredibly sad, the ending is one that though acknowledging their sadness, also does give them a certain degree of hope.
> 
> Please know that no offense, if any at all is taken, is intended at all. But if anyone is offended anyway, you do have my earnest apologies in advance. You all know the drill by now if you've read this far in the story; if there's any concern before reading that you would like clarified, or if you'd prefer a less detailed summary at the end instead, feel free to ask. If you'd rather skip the chapter in its entirety, you are also most welcome to do so. :)

**_SATURDAY NIGHT..._ **

Samar went to bed a little earlier than Aram did that night. There was nothing unusual about that, though they preferred to go to bed at the same time; she was tired and feeling a little under the weather, and he had one more page of one more report left to finish up. By the time he went to bed, she was already sound asleep, sprawled across the entirety of her half of the bed and then some.  

There was nothing unusual about that either, frankly.

Aram fell asleep with one arm wrapped around her as he normally did. Later, in their combined slumber, Samar rolled and Aram's arm fell away again.

They stayed that way peacefully for two or three hours or so until thrashing in the bed next to him, made Aram wake with a jump. It wasn't the first time, and he sincerely doubted it would be the last; Samar was cursed for life with having the occasional nightmare come flying out of nowhere. But as Aram rolled over and rubbed his eyes, ready to wake and calm her as he always did, his eyes snapped wide open in alarm. Samar wasn't asleep and dreaming. She was awake, and curled up with her arms wrapped tightly around herself, seemingly in pain.  

Aram flailed one arm to the side, clumsily switching on the lamp on his nightstand. Samar's face was pale, and beads of sweat ran down her cheeks and caught in her hair. She was shaking, silent in her agony aside from the uneven breathing and occasional whimper under her breath.   
'Samar,' Aram hurriedly began, propping himself up on the pillow next to her, to stroke her cheek and try to both reassure her and figure out what on earth was wrong, 'what's going on?' Samar winced again, closing her eyes tightly for a moment in another wave of pain before opening them again. She could barely speak, and besides the shaking and clutching her abdomen, she was practically frozen in pain. Aram shuffled over closer still, trying to hold her, desperate to comfort her in any way he could whilst feeling utterly helpless and clueless as to what else to do.

It didn't feel right. As he rolled closer, there was something warm that touched his legs.

Samar let out another whimper and closed her eyes again. Aram pulled back the sheets in alarm, and had to stop himself from letting out a gasp.

There was blood everywhere.

/*/*/*/*

The time felt like it passed in a blur of flashing lights and noisy beeping. Aram wasn't allowed to ride in the ambulance from their apartment when he had Leila too. He strapped the half-asleep and grumbling toddler into her car seat instead, following the ambulance in the car. It didn't matter that it was some ungodly hour of the morning; the fear, panic, and adrenaline had him wide awake.  

They wouldn't let him into the Emergency Room with Samar at first either, in a combination of Leila's presence and the fact that he and Samar still didn't have a true title to describe whatever their relationship was. 'She's my girlfriend', apparently, didn't quite cut it.

It didn't occur to him to lie and say they were engaged or married, not when he was juggling a now very distressed Leila while still panicking himself.  

They let him in just long enough to ask the million and one questions about who Samar was and what was in her medical history, in what felt like a lightning round of interrogation, before sending him back out to the waiting room. The bright hospital lights glared in his eyes. The beeping of machines, the sounding of alarms, and the screaming of patients and relatives on what was apparently one rather busy Saturday night for the ER, did nothing to calm him at all. The sight of Samar being wheeled along on a hospital bed, still curled on her side and whimpering in pain, towards other areas of the hospital for tests and scans, did little to help either. Aram tried to follow, to hold her hand while she was wheeled along, but the hospital staff pulled him back.

It barely even crossed his mind that in his desperate determination, it took two nurses and a security guard to pull him away from her, despite the fact he was still holding onto Leila at the same time and could hardly fight.  

Then he alternated between sitting down in the waiting room's hard, plastic chairs, and pacing back and forth in front of them, while he waited for Ressler to come and pick Leila up. In the meantime, she screamed and squirmed in his arms, fighting his hold in her own overtired distress.  

'Hey,' Ressler's voice was the first and only thing to truly jolt him from his panic. Aram looked up; Ressler had wasted no time in rushing to meet them there. His sweater was on backwards, and his hair stuck out in ways Aram had never seen before, not that he either cared or really noticed. He immediately reached out, taking Leila from Aram's arms before he could even protest, trying to calm her. 'What's going on?' He hurriedly asked, 'is Samar ok?'  
'I –I don't know,' was all that Aram could let out in response. His eyes were still wild, and his breathing fast in his anxiety. Ressler studied his face, curious and concerned, but notably calmer. Of course, he hadn't seen what Aram had seen. He rested one hand gently on the side of Aram's arm as he spoke again;  
'Do you want me to stay?' He certainly wasn't sure if Aram should be left alone in that state, but there was nobody else. Angus, Liz and Zahra all had kids that needed to stay home and sleep... And Aram's parents, though child-free, were definitely old enough that they were better off being allowed to sleep through the night as well. It was enough of a question to distract Aram from his thoughts, in order to form an answer.  
'No,' he murmured back, 'Leila needs to be somewhere comfortable, where she can sleep.' Ressler opened his mouth to respond, to argue that if he waited in the waiting room, Leila could sleep in his much calmer arms, but a member of hospital staff called out instead.

'Mr Mojtabai,' came the voice of what appeared to be a young doctor, 'may I have a word?' Aram quickly looked back and forth between them both, hesitant to leave Leila, but Ressler gestured for him to go. He watched as the two spoke quietly, seriously together and as Aram's face paled, before scurrying back.  
'Uh,' Aram anxiously began, 'I have to go. They're taking Samar in for surgery.' This time, Ressler's eyes did widen in alarm.  
'Aram, what's wrong?' He asked, the anxiety beginning to rise urgently in his voice. But, Aram shook his head.  
'I have to go,' he repeated, almost as if on autopilot after what he had heard from the doctor. 'Just take Leila.' His voice was almost robotic; everything happening around Aram was such a blur he could hardly focus on the conversation. He tipped his head to kiss Leila's cheek where she sat still now, head leaning sleepily against Ressler's shoulder. His hand squeezed hers –saying goodbye to her the only thing he could bring himself to concentrate on besides returning to Samar's side.  

Ressler paused before turning and carrying Leila away, taking the moment to watch Aram walk back to follow the young doctor almost as if in a daze.  

The bright lights and noisy machines blurred around Aram again as he followed the young doctor back into the depths of the ER. The first thing that registered in his brain for sure was that Samar was there, back from whatever tests had been done, but she was only partly conscious and the nurses bustled around her, preparing her for surgery.  

'What's going on?' Aram asked the young doctor again, his attention bouncing back and forth between him, Samar and the nurses. He had some wild suspicions from the doctor's earlier attempts at vague questioning, but he still couldn't figure out for sure what was happening. Given the circumstances, with their relationship clearly serious but otherwise undefined, the staff were hesitant and had only been offering him half the details as they tried to figure out where the line was in sharing information with him.         
'Mr Mojtabai,' The young doctor's voice snapped Aram's attention back to him once more; 'I need to ask you again-' he paused, gauging Aram's attentiveness, and holding his gaze in earnest '-what is the possibility that Samar could be pregnant?'

The question rang in Aram's ears and made them prickle like a gunshot.  

'She's not that I'm aware of, and if she knows that she is, she hasn't said anything,' he said hurriedly, all his words rolling together in his panicked attempt at explanation, 'but we were trying... Sort of.' For a moment, the young doctor didn't respond beyond a slow, contemplative nod. There was something about the way he intensely held Aram's gaze that made Aram's heart feeling like it was plummeting into his stomach. No words were needed for Aram to know what the doctor was suspecting at that point... But perhaps, given the circumstances, that was the whole point.    
'Aram,' Samar's voice called weakly to him, as the staff began to slowly push her bed past him, 'what's... Happening?' Her hand tried to reach out for him, but barely reached further than the edge of the bed. Her face was still pale and sweaty, and her eyes unfocused, though if the way her posture had eased was supposed to be any indication, at least the painkillers she had been given had started to have an effect.   
'Samar, we're taking you in for surgery now,' the young doctor turned and replied before Aram could. His voice was calm and gentle, though nowhere near as sympathetic as it could have been. 'Just stay calm.'  
'Wait-' Aram hurriedly called out. He lurched forwards, grasping for Samar's hand as they tried to push her past him.   
'-Aram,' that weak voice echoed again the moment his fingertips touched hers. He leaned over by the side of the bed, tilting his head so it was close to hers as he whispered;  
'I love you, ok?' Aram's voice cracked as he spoke. 'I love you so much-' he pressed a kiss to her forehead, just as the staff moved to start pushing Samar's bed forwards again, forcing him to let go of her hand '-and you're going to be just fine.'   
'We'll keep you updated,' the young doctor added, gently clapping the side of his arm in passing... But Aram barely heard him. All that registered in his brain was that he was watching her be wheeled away from him yet again, and the breath catching in an uncomfortable lump in his throat as he did so.  

/*/*/*/*

**_SUNDAY MORNING..._ **

It didn't matter how many hours passed, Aram couldn't fall asleep. Even after Samar had returned from surgery, with doctors saying she would make a full recovery, Aram couldn't make his brain stop long enough to even think about closing his eyes. The images of Samar covered in blood, of her twisted in agony, and of her being wheeled away from him too foggy from the pain to even know what was happening to her, turned over and over in his brain in some kind of never ending horror slideshow.

He didn't know how to tell her.

He didn't know if she would even remember what had happened, once she woke up properly.

Aram wasn't sure how he felt about that. In the hours since leaving the recovery ward, Samar had briefly woken a few times for the nurses to do their regular observations, but each time she was groggy and fell asleep again soon after, in the combination of exhaustion, painkillers, and any lingering traces of anaesthetic. In part he hoped that she would never have to remember the pain but at the same time... He wasn't sure how to tell her if she didn't already remember...

...Another one, lost.  

Losing little Shahin had been painful enough for Samar. Now Aram understood how it felt too. The pregnancy they had been trying for, gone before they even knew it was there. It had been ectopic, a ticking time bomb inside her that was doomed from the start. Samar had been lucky that it was found and removed as quickly as it was once she began to miscarry, before it ruptured and did irreparable damage.  

In the meantime Aram sat by her bedside, leaving that information to swirl around in endless circles in his brain while she slept. He held her hand, barely having let go at all since she was moved to her room. There was a peaceful, painless expression on her face –even a smile, almost- as she slept soundly, and that made it even more heartbreaking. Aram was fairly certain that once she woke up, he wouldn't see that look again for quite some time.  

It felt like an eternity before her eyes began to flicker open. Aram tried to stay calm, not to panic her unnecessarily before she was awake enough to process it all, but that didn't stop the knuckles of his free hand paling as his fingers curled anxiously into his palm. Samar's eyes finally stopped flickering, snapping wide open. She rolled her head on the pillow, searching for him, and broke into a soft, groggy smile when she saw him there. She blinked a few times, trying to gain her bearings and figure out where she was. The bright lights, and white sheets were all too easy to recognise. Samar paused, furrowing her brow in confusion. Nothing hurt, and she didn't feel ill. She couldn't feel any dressings or unfamiliar wounds. There were no casts. Everything felt normal, besides the grogginess that made her feel like her head was wrapped in cotton wool. Samar had no idea why she was in that hospital room, with Aram staring back at her looking like he was struggling to hold back tears.   
'Hey,' she murmured softly, her eyes crinkling at him as her vision began to clear, 'what's wrong? You ok?' She paused, furrowing her brow in confusion again as she glanced around beyond him, taking more awareness of her full surroundings. 'Where's Leila?'  
'Leila is, uh...' Aram's voice cracked as he spoke, 'with Ressler. He came and picked her up last night.' Samar squeezed gently where she found Aram's hand wrapped around hers; he was very clearly trying to stay calm for her sake and that meant only one thing... He _wasn't_.    
'What happened?' She asked again, a little firmer this time. 'Why am I in a hospital bed?'  
'You don't remember... Any of it?' That was both a relief and filled Aram with dread. Samar shook her head, wide awake and curious now. He was stalling, and that worried her all the more so.  
'Was there an accident?'  
'No.' Aram's grip on her hand tightened a little as he tried to steel himself. 'Samar, I have to tell you something.'

Aram took a breath, for a moment unable to meet the eyes that bore such a concerned expression. In that moment, when she had no idea what had happened, she seemed far more worried about him than herself. He was happier that way, for her never to have to know what they had lost... But he couldn't hide it from her, no matter how much he desperately wanted to spare her the agony. With another breath, he shuffled closer to the bed, almost leaning over her to stroke her cheek with his free hand, and brush that hair out of her face as he always did when he kissed her.  

Barely a second passed between the words leaving his mouth, and the first devastated, breathless sob rocking her body. She grasped at him, at his arms, at his hands, at every inch of his shirt that she could reach, clinging for dear life and burying her face into his chest as she cried. Aram held her there, never wanting to let go. The tears streamed down his cheeks too, until both of them struggled to breathe. It was at that point that the machines started to beep, alarmed by the sharp, shallow breathing and rapid heartrate of her distress. The nurses came running in again in response, gently pulling them apart and trying to calm them down. Breathing slowed and heartbeats settled back into even rhythms, and Samar was ordered to rest.  

Eventually she closed her eyes again, though neither of them pulled their hands apart for a second. Samar curled onto her side on the hospital bed, with her back to the door and the medical staff, and facing Aram sitting on the window side instead. Occasional tears still fell from her eyelashes and rolled down her cheek, splashing onto her pillow, until her breathing evened out again with the softness of slumber.  

/*/*/*/*

**_SUNDAY AFTERNOON..._ **

By the time Samar woke up again, the shock had well worn off. She had barely moved in her sleep, and woke up still facing the same direction... But before she even opened her eyes, her waking brain knew something was different.

For one, there was no longer a hand holding onto hers.

'Aram...' She mumbled, searching for him as her eyelids began to flicker again.  
'I sent him home...' A soft, gentle voice replied –one that wasn't Aram's but still comfortingly familiar. 'To shower and change... And to stop by Ressler’s to spend some time with Leila so her routines aren't too thrown out of sorts. Just for an hour or so. I'm not going anywhere until he gets back.' Samar's eyes snapped open, staring wearily back at the person now sitting opposite her in front of the window.

Mehri.  

'How are you feeling?' The older woman asked, offering a small, reassuring smile. Samar didn't know how to respond. In short, she felt like crap. The shock might have worn off, but there was a steady sadness that sat heavy inside now, making the rest of her feel hollow. The practical voice that ruled inside her head was already setting to work, trying to calm her. It told her that this wasn't the same as losing little Shahin, that this time round she hadn't carried the little one inside her for nine months and then held in her arms. She tried to remind herself that she hadn't known this one was even there until it wasn't any more, that she'd had no emotional bond there to lose in the first place and not to mention, given the circumstances, it was one that she inevitably would never have had the chance to know anyway... But somehow, that didn't make the sadness go away. It didn't make sense to Samar. It seemed so impractical and yet, there it stayed. That miserable, tired feeling at just _knowing_ what had happened, ate away at her.

There must have been something about the expression on her face that summarised everything going through her head, for Mehri gave a slow, thoughtful nod of understanding, and then reached forwards to rest her hand atop Samar's, despite Samar having not said a word. Samar's gaze flickered down, staring curiously at the smaller, older hand over hers for a moment.  

'Samar,' she spoke again, almost nervously this time, 'do you ever wonder why Naveed and I never had any other children after Aram?' Samar wearily furrowed her brow; she wasn't entirely sure that, of all things, was the conversation she wanted to have right then in that moment... But at the same time it made sense. Now that the question had been raised, Samar _was_ curious. Mehri and Naveed loved family so much, it didn't make sense for them to have only had one child.  
'Why?' Samar asked warily.  
'We wanted a whole house full of kids,' Mehri began slowly, practically echoing Samar's thoughts, 'that's why we bought such a big house.' She smiled softly to herself for a moment, thinking back to that beloved Delaware house. 'But we struggled for a long time, even just to have Aram...' The smile vanished and Mehri gave a small, dejected shrug, gesturing vaguely in the direction of the chart at the end of Samar's bed that detailed her condition; 'this happened... Three times.' Samar's face crumpled in sympathy.  
'Mehri...' She murmured, trailing off I not knowing what really to say, but Mehri shook her head. The contemplative smile returned to her face –though only just.   
'It was a long time ago, now,' Mehri reassured her, gently patting Samar's hand as she spoke, 'but back then it nearly broke us. I think even Naveed struggled with it more than I did... You could threaten to hurt him until the end of time and he wouldn't care, but even the idea of me or Aram hurting... It just about kills him. We got to the point where we thought, if we could at least have one child, we'd be happy... And we did. We had Aram. It took a while, which is why we're slightly older parents than usual for your generation, but we had him... And after that, we wondered whether or not we should try again for another one, but... Those first three miscarriages nearly broke us. We were too scared that a fourth actually would. So we decided just to appreciate the one beautiful baby boy we had and leave it at that.'

Mehri paused. Her hand fell away from Samar's and she leaned back in her chair, staring into space for a moment and letting out a small sigh as the thought back to that time. Samar stared back at her, listening in some twisted combination of sympathy and curiosity, devastation and disbelief. Still, she didn't really know what to say but then again... She really didn't need to.

'Not a day goes by now where I don't wonder how things could have been different if we had just tried one more time,' Mehri added quietly. ' _Maybe_ we would have struggled again, but maybe by the time we had Aram whatever the problem was had worked itself out. We still don't know what caused it. Maybe we could have had that house full of kids after all.' She gave another small shrug, now staring back at Samar with that tiny, reassuring smile.    
'Why are you telling me all this?' Samar asked slowly, finally finding her voice. It sounded quieter than she was used to, but she wanted to know.   
'Because...' Mehri mused, 'I can't speak for your mother. I've never met her and unfortunately I'll never have the privilege of doing so... But if you're any indication, I'd like to think she'd agree with me...' She paused, the intensity of her gaze increasing somehow, just as her voice shook stronger, firmer in its conviction that came from the pain of hindsight. 'If you and Aram _really_ want to have another child, don't let this stop you from trying again. You need to take the time to rest, to recover... To grieve this one properly, but... If you get to a point where you think you might be ready again, _don't_ let the fear hold you back... Otherwise you'll spend the rest of your life wondering like I do.'

There it was; the practical, logical conclusion to the anecdote that would only serve as upsetting to some, but that Mehri knew would make sense in Samar's head. That was what grounded her, what helped her see through the things that would otherwise tear her apart.  

It gave her hope –hope that as difficult as it was, one day the sadness would fade. Hope, that if Mehri could get through it, then so could she. It would just take time.

'That sounds like something my mother would say,' Samar murmured softly. The tiniest hint of a smile tugged at her lips –one of pleasant contemplation as she thought back to her mother and the life lessons she had tried to instil from as soon as Samar was old enough to understand them. 'Mehri?'  
'Hmm?' The older woman hummed softly, her eyes crinkling quizzically alongside her own small smile of relief that her words were proving as reassuring as she had hoped.   
'Do you ever wonder, if you'd had more children, what they would be like?' Samar asked, almost nervously. She wondered often what little Shahin would be like. Now she wondered what her third child could have been like. It stung, that she hadn't even been far enough along to know the most basic of things, like whether it would have been a boy or a girl though in part, she wondered too, whether that would make getting through it all easier.  

She figured it was probably different for everyone.

'More than anything I wonder...' Mehri trailed off for a moment, smiling warmly as she thought it over; 'if we'd had a daughter, what _she_ would be like. But I think I know the answer.' Samar shot her a questioning glance, and Mehri's soft smile only widened. 'Like you, Samar... She'd be like you.'

/*/*/*/*

**_MONDAY..._ **

One full day of observation later and Samar was free to go home, under strict orders of rest. The day passed in a blur, albeit a strange, slow one. Samar didn't really know what to do with herself, and ended up resting on the couch for a while, staring at but not really taking in, the nonsense of daytime television channels. At some point or another, Ressler dropped Leila home again. He asked her a question or two and she gave him vague, but polite answers, but in all Samar didn't really register his short presence before Ressler left again, wanting to leave her be.  

All of a sudden though, Leila was in her arms again, cuddling her, and that was an instant comfort. The little girl that she loved so much, so happy to see her and be held close, was overwhelming.

Tired of the daytime programs, Samar moved to the bedroom when Leila went down for her nap. Aram was bustling about the apartment, trying to distract himself too, between refusing to allow her to do anything other than rest. It was a nice gesture but at the same time, Samar wanted something to take her mind off things, rather than stare into space, lost in thought.

Though, when she tried, she still couldn't figure out what to do with herself either.

It was a miserable state of being stuck between a rock and a hard place, with that sad, hollow feeling still aching in her gut. Liz stopped by at some point in the afternoon to visit, and laid beside her atop the bedcovers for a while, in quiet solidarity. It was too soon for Samar to know what to say or want to talk about it, but still she needed the comfort of company. Liz stayed there by her side for an hour or so, staring up at the ceiling and making small talk about whatever came to mind that Samar wasn't really listening to beyond the pleasant absence of total silence... And then at some point, Liz left again.

Zahra and Mehri each stopped by in turn at various moments. They brought food –probably far too much, in fact- to save both Samar and Aram the need to cook for at least a few days. Neither stayed too long though; both knew that neither Samar or Aram wanted to be bombarded that day. Even Angus stopped by at some point –he and Liz shared and swapped the duty of watching over their combined kids so they could visit separately- to hug Aram, and sit with him for a while just as Liz had stayed with Samar.  

By the time the evening rolled around, Aram had ambled into the bedroom and laid down beside Samar too, holding her hand as she curled into his side and both of them made the most of the peace and quiet. Samar couldn't help but stare at that calendar on the bedroom wall on and off through the day, and that sinking feeling plunged even further in her gut as she realised the date.  

'Do you know what day it is?' She mumbled, sighing dejectedly into his shoulder.    
'Monday,' Aram murmured softly back, without really thinking about it. Samar stayed quiet for a moment, waiting for it to sink in. Aram glanced over her at the alarm clock on the night stand and winced at the date it showed in the corner. 'Don't worry about it,' he added, just as softly as he pressed a slow kiss to the top of her head.   
'It's your fortieth,' Samar let out yet another sigh. In all the chaos of the last couple of days, the fact that is was his birthday had been completely overshadowed.   
'It doesn't matter,' Aram whispered back. As guilty as Samar felt, Aram honestly didn't care what day it was. His birthday, to him, was a far lower priority than the two of them grieving, and getting past the scare that had struck two nights before, just as traumatic as the loss itself.  

He just wanted them both to be ok... And that was one thing they did agree on.  

Samar hated that sad feeling that ate away at them both, and she desperately wanted for it to go away. She knew it wouldn't, not right away, but still she wished.  

Everyone had different ways of dealing with loss and grief and by now, Samar was finely -and painfully- attuned to what worked for her and what didn't. Pushing herself too fast to move on, or trying to pretend things hadn't happened, as she initially had with little Shahin, hadn't worked. Trying to distract herself with taking on duties beyond her years, and then falling into the quest for rebellion against her country and vengeance over her parents' deaths, possibly hadn't been the best path either... But they had led her to the present, all the same. Now she knew, the sad feeling would pass eventually. But she needed to face it; not to let it swallow her whole, but to allow it to run its course –never to forget it, but simply to accept it, and find some solace in time until it no longer ate away at her. Just knowing that, gave her hope.

Thinking about what Mehri had said, on and off throughout the day as well, gave her hope too.  

'I want to keep trying,' Samar spoke up quietly again, breaking the silence that had fallen between them. Aram's eyes went wide, almost startled by the sudden declaration.    
'Samar-' he tried to protest.  
'-Not right now,' she softly interjected, 'but eventually… And properly, this time.' Aram bit his lip, but protested no further. What neither of them realised was that the day before, they had heard the same story, and were given the same advice; Samar from Mehri, and Aram from Naveed. Both of them took from it the same lesson but at the same time, both of them were too cautious to push the other so soon.   
'Only if you're sure,' Aram hesitantly agreed, 'and only when you're ready.'

Samar nestled closer into his side, and Aram wrapped his arm just that little bit tighter around her.  

They would be ok. It would take time, but so long as they had each other, they would be ok.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, 'Aftermath'. And fear not, though at the moment it looks like all hope is lost... I promise you, it's not. There are just 11 chapters left to go, and I think (if I can say so myself) that the ending will be worth holding on that little bit longer. 
> 
> I finished writing the last chapter two days ago, and now I feel kind of strange and unsure what to really do with myself, but I guess that means we're really heading towards the end now! :)


	102. Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Thursday-Saturday, August 23-25, 2018
> 
> Surprise post of the day! Simply because I apparently cannot restrain myself. Now that I've finished writing this story I'm far too eager to get to the ending so you all can read it. Sooo... Here we go.

**_THURSDAY..._ **

One and a half weeks on or so –nearly two- from the scare that had settled the sadness deep in her gut, and Samar had to get back to work. Not because the Bureau or Mossad said so, but because she did. She couldn't bear the sitting around at home on medical leave, thinking in endless circles about what had happened, any longer. Being back at work was an effective distraction that helped her feel like she was moving forwards. She was restricted to desk duty until she passed the mandatory post-trauma Bureau psych evaluation but for once, Samar really didn't care about not being allowed out into the field. There was distraction enough at her desk and for that, Samar was grateful.

A few days back at her desk, and Samar was already starting to feel somewhat like her old self again. The sadness never strayed too far from her mind, but the settling back into regular routines -or at least, the slightly gentler version of them- certainly helped her cope. Aram too, found comfort in the same; both of them felt in better spirits back at work, and just seeing each other happier made them both all the more so as well.

Leila's birthday however –despite her shared party with Sammy having been weeks earlier- threw that routine slightly out again, though thankfully not too badly. Naturally, Ressler wanted to spend some time with her now that her actual birthdate had rolled around, but so too did Mehri and Naveed. It made for a busy end of the week, with Leila going home from the Post Office on the night of Thursday –her actual birthday- with Ressler instead of her spending a Friday or Saturday night with him, and being brought back again on the Friday morning, so that Mehri and Naveed could see her one day of the weekend.  

In the meantime, Samar and Aram had Thursday night all to themselves. It was odd not having Leila at home for dinner when they knew it was her birthday but then again, they had known well in advance that it was happening and had made a point of fussing over her at breakfast earlier that day instead.

They made the most of the quiet moment to themselves, reflecting on the last couple of weeks and taking simple comfort in each other's company –time just to themselves being something they'd had next to none of since their loss. They made dinner together, cleaned up together, watched a movie together, and even danced slowly together just for a couple of minutes to one of the movie's instrumental pieces. They were calm but contemplative, still both deep in thought about the little Aysha Mehri or Avi Naveed they could have had, but determined to stay strong together all the same. Both were adamant, they were not about to let what happened tear them apart from one another, despite how much it had felt like it was tearing each of them apart on the inside. They clung to each other as they fell asleep, much as they had every other night in the last couple of weeks –just one sign that despite some concerns to the contrary, they were decidedly _not_ moving on too fast.

They were simply muddling their way forwards as best they could.

/*/*/*/*

**_SATURDAY..._ **

Despite her understanding of Ressler spending time with Leila too, Samar was never going to deny being glad to have Leila home again, especially in the aftermath of both her little girl's birthday, and the events of what was now exactly two weeks earlier. She was even more glad, strangely enough, to have Mehri and Naveed over to visit. Ever since waking up to Mehri sitting beside her in the hospital and the conversation they'd had, there was a certain comfort Samar found in her not quite mother in law's presence too.  

A soft smile lit Samar's face –one of the rare few of the last couple of weeks- as Mehri and Naveed fussed over her little girl, showering her in cuddles and affection, and adding one more, tiny gift to the pile from the party.

'I have something for you too, Samar,' Mehri added suddenly, jolting Samar from her observations of Leila playing happily with Naveed. She turned, snapping her attention back to Mehri's smile that was sometimes torn between wry and cautious. Samar faltered for a moment at the odd combination but nonetheless, Mehri handed over something large and fabric, wrapped loosely in a plastic bag. The moment she did so, Samar couldn't help but notice Naveed shaking his head in exasperation behind his wife, and Aram instantly wincing too. Whatever the large, fabric mass was, Naveed already knew what it was, and Aram recognised it immediately just from the tail end that poked out of the bag.   
'Mom, I don't think that's appropri-' Aram suddenly –and surprisingly sharply- tried to protest as Samar took the bag pulled out the end of its contents. Mehri however, ignored her son, keeping her eyes intently focused on Samar... Who realised exactly what the thick fabric was as soon as she saw further into the bag, and immediately spoke up over Aram.  
'-Is that what I think it is?' She gasped. If it was, Samar was torn for a split second as to how to feel. In part, her gut began to churn a little more at the timing, but more than anything she fought the strange urge to burst out laughing.  
'It's a family tradition,' Mehri observed, nodding and grinning widely, 'It always brought me comfort when I needed it, so I figured it was about time that I gave it to you.'

It was a blanket, homemade and passed down through generations. It was the kind of handmade, passed down blanket, that went from eldest Mojtabai son to eldest Mojtabai son –cared for and passed on by their wives to those of their sons.  

In short, and for lack of a better phrase, it was a fertility blanket; no more than a mere superstition, and not attached to any culture in particular that Samar knew of, but it was a family tradition all the same.

...And Samar connected the dots and knew what is was, simply from the age of the fabric and the look on Mehri's face. There had been one handed down through her own family too; at some point, the one that her parents had loved, and more than anything used as a sort of playmat for her and Shahin when they were little, should have been passed on to Shahin –or rather, _Zahra_ \- by their mother. Samar had no idea where it had ended up in the time that had passed, or if Shahin or Zahra had ever received it. That was something that had been far lower on her list of priorities to tend to after her parents died.

Now, looking at the one in her hands that Mehri had bestowed upon her, reminded her of it all of a sudden.

'Not a family tradition that I'm entirely fond of,' Aram muttered, glancing back and forth between his mother and Samar with his brow furrowed in concern. 'Mom, of all the _possible_ times to give this to us, why _now?'_   Besides his only memories of the blanket being that he too, had played on it at a young age, and those making him uncomfortable at the idea of using the blanket for _anything_ other than the same again for Leila, the timing of it bothered him a little too. Samar was still raw and so too was he; the blanket in Samar's hands now was only a reminder of what they had lost not so long ago, and not the most tactful one at that. It was strange that his mother, normally the most sympathetic person in any given room, would do such a thing.

Or at least, that was how _Aram_ felt.

Samar somehow, was still fighting the urge to laugh. Her lip twitched uncontrollably; perhaps it was the sheer delirium of the stress of the last couple of weeks and now this, or perhaps she was simply too tired to actually cry... Aram didn't know.  

Regardless, all of a sudden, Samar began to laugh. She laughed so hard that even a few tears ran her face from her eyes crinkling and clenching so much.

It was the timing; the very same timing that made Aram so uncomfortable, made Samar smile at the thought that had gone into it. It was Aram and Naveed's reaction, both of them so oddly disturbed by their own, strange family tradition... And it was Mehri's uncanny knack for reading her yet again. Handing over that blanket, right at that moment, was just the right level of unconventional to snap Samar out of her funk, and the fierce battle between the stubborn practicality in her head and the hollow sadness in her gut... Even if just for a moment.  

'I think it's perfect,' Samar finally managed to let out through soft breaths of laughter. She smiled warmly, still stuck somewhere between laughing and crying, reaching forwards to pull Mehri into a hug. 'Thank you, Mehri.' Aram stared at them both, the discomfort gone from his face and replaced by utter bewilderment at the reaction. He gazed over the shoulder of Samar and Mehri at Naveed, who stared back at him and shrugged in equal bewildered and mortified confusion.  

But, given that Samar didn't seem at all upset, neither man made any move to protest.

/*/*/*/*

**_SATURDAY EVENING..._ **

'Can I just say,' Aram frustrated began, long after his parents left to return home, 'I'm sorry about my mother-' he paused, shaking his head '-I have no idea what she was thinking.' Samar however, simply gave a tiny smile as she turned her attention from Leila and her Disney movie, to Aram standing behind the couch on which they sat, still grimacing at the blanket between them.  
'I actually like it,' she replied, her voice quieter than she was used to hearing it, 'it was sweet.' It was certainly an odd kind of sweet but then again, Samar felt odd in general; torn between sadness and moments of being cheered up, between trying to move on and feeling like she wasn't supposed to just yet. In a certain way, she just didn't quite know how to feel. Mehri and the blanket had barged through that hormonal barricade of confusing and inconsistent emotions like some kind of steamroller, pushing them aside just long enough for Samar to take some comfort and genuine amusement without anything else holding it back. Laughing, even just for that strange moment, had felt so wrong and yet somehow, so good as well.  
'It was like rubbing two weeks ago straight back in our faces,' Aram sighed, furrowing his brow in irritation. His shoulders sunk a little in his own lingering misery, far from being as amused as Samar had been.   
'No it wasn't,' Samar murmured back, tilting her head in the earnest attempt to reassure him, 'you should know she wouldn't do that to us. She would never try to make us feel worse, especially not intentionally.' Samar paused for a moment, thinking back on Mehri's words of _'it always brought me comfort when I needed it'_ and further back again to her words at the hospital. 'It's just a comment on that once we're ready, we shouldn't be afraid of trying again... And in the meantime, we should just take all the time we need.' It was hope yet again, it was one more thing Mehri wanted to share from her own experiences to be supportive, and most of all it was another gentle, little push that both Samar and Aram needed to make sure they didn't allow themselves to tumble backwards into the sort of grief that Samar had once refused to let herself deal with properly.

Aram paused too, eyeing the curious expression on Samar's face as the lightbulb instantly went off in his head.

'You got that talk too?' He asked quietly, and contemplatively, instantly remembering what his father had told him while his mother sat with Samar at the hospital.  
'Mmhmm...' Samar nodded as she softly hummed. Aram let out another deep sigh; that made sense of a few more things. If Samar knew as well what his mother had gone through, then his mother had intended the surprise gift as a sign of solidarity, rather than a gesture of adding insult to injury... And Samar had taken it in exactly the same fashion. He bit his lip, running one gentle hand over the soft, worn fabric of the blanket, and allowing the fonder memories of it to run through his mind as the frustration faded away.   
'So what _do_ you want to do with this?' Aram finally spoke again, the tension slowly vanishing from his shoulders as he broke the momentary silence.  
'You don't want to put it on our bed?' Samar laughed softly back, unable to hold back the tiny grin at Aram's instant cringe at the idea. She swivelled more comfortably around on the couch cushions, resting her hand on the blanket beside his –her thumb brushing gently against his.  
'I used to build _forts_ out of that thing when I was a kid,' Aram commented, letting out a wry but still thoughtful smile. 'It was just the right size to build the best ones, too. I loved it... But I would feel weird putting it on our bed.'  
'On back of the couch, then,' she suggested, 'for when we get cold watching tv after Leila goes to bed. I'm sure she'll make a blanket fort out of it some day too. Maybe you'll even have to teach her how to build the best ones.'

To a certain degree, despite the fact she didn't believe any of the old superstitions and old wives' tales, Samar was curious to know if the blanket really did have any of its alleged powers. She seriously doubted it but then again, she also knew _exactly_ what she wanted. The blanket certainly wouldn't _hinder_ any future, potential attempts; for all they knew, even its mere _presence_ could still prove to come in handy... So Samar was quite happy to leave it laying around.  

Aram cracked a tiny smile at her suggestion, already visualising one day in the future where Leila would be big enough for them to build forts together.   
'That sounds perfect,' he murmured, eyes wandering happily as he thought it over for a moment longer. Finally, he gently tucked her hair behind her ears, and Samar reached up with one hand, stroking his cheek and gently pulling him in close enough to press a soft kiss to his lips.

Slowly but surely, and with everything from practical reasoning, to getting back into routines, and to the comforts of old superstitions... They would get through it, together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up; Bandit has a minor misadventure, and so does Riley at his first day of pre-school, in 'Stresses'.


	103. Stresses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Tuesday, September 4, 2018.
> 
> Okey dokes folks, I will be away again for most of the weekend, so here are two chapters today that will hopefully last you until I get back! :)

A stressful day with a stressful case, didn't need to get any worse. Thankfully, the stressful case had come to a slightly less stressful close, and now everybody could take the evening to rest, relax, and simply enjoy themselves before starting all over again the next day.

Liz strolled towards the front door of Angus' apartment, with Amelia bouncing quite happily in the crook of one arm, and Sammy toddling along equally delighted by her side. They both knew what the journey to that particular door meant; playing with Riley.  

And that was very nearly as exciting as arriving at the front door that meant playing with Leila.  

The door swung open to reveal an almost equally stressed looking Angus.  
'Hey,' Liz greeted him, weary from the case but still glad to see him all the same. Angus smiled softly, leaning forward to dot an affectionate kiss to her lips.  
'Hi,' he murmured back. The smile widened a little further again as he stepped back from the door to let her in, clearly as relieved to see her after his stressful day, as she was to see him. Angus turned, calling out through the apartment; 'Riley, look who's here.'  
'Lizzieeee,' the little boy's excited voice floated through the room towards Liz barely a second ahead of Riley himself, sprinting with his arms thrown out wide. In almost one single, fluid motion, Angus took Amelia from her and stooped to cuddle Sammy too, just as Riley ran enthusiastically straight into Liz's knees.   
'Hey Riles,' she chuckled, crouching down to wrap her arms around the little boy with the mop of messy, sandy blonde hair. 'How was your first day at school, buddy?'

That was the wrong question to ask.

'It wasn't without complications...' Angus muttered under his breath. The tiredness was back, and even clearer in that particular statement, causing Liz to instantly glance up at him from Riley, and crinkle her eyes in a mix of sympathy and amusement.   
'You didn't want to leave him there when you dropped him off?' She asked. That was something they had both at least half expected; Riley's first day at his new pre-school had been something to which he and Angus had been counting down the days –Riley, out of excitement, and Angus out of sheer nerves. Regardless, Angus shook his head quickly, and wearily again. Liz's brow furrowed, this time in confusion, glancing back and forth between Angus and Riley –the latter of which was now idling miserably by her side.  
'I drew a picture of you, Lizzie,' Riley mumbled, his head now bowed, and his lip popping out unhappily, 'but my teacher didn't like it.'

There was something about the way that Angus bit his lip as his son spoke, that made Liz know in an instant; the stresses of the day weren't over just yet.  

/*/*/*/*

Aram and Samar bustled into their own apartment, just as tired and relieved to be home as Liz had been in approaching Angus' door. They put their bags down, set Leila amongst her toys for a moment, and then quickly moved into the kitchen to try and get dinner sorted for the evening. They knew all too well that if they stopped to sit down even for a second, they wouldn't want to move again after that and dinner would be a pipe dream.

And so busy they stayed, though thankfully only for a little while longer.

It didn't take long for Samar to pause again, glancing around the living room in sudden confusion and concern. Something wasn't right; at first, she couldn't quite place it... And then, a lightbulb went off.  
'Aram?' She warily began. Next to her, Aram turned to meet her gaze, raising one quizzical eyebrow. '...Where's the cat?' Frowning for a second, Aram glanced around the room just as Samar had. Normally, though much preferring to stay hidden in one of his many caves around the apartment, the ginger furball tended to pop out and make an appearance once or twice when they returned home, to greet them or at the very least, demand a refill of his food bowl. But, right now there was no sign of him anywhere.   
'Leila,' Aram called softly across the room to where the toddler sat just a few feet away with her building blocks and farm animal figurines. The little girl looked up in an instant response to her name, before Aram spoke again; 'can you find Bandit, little ladybug?' He glanced back at Samar again, offering an amused shrug of his shoulders; Leila had a knack for hunting down the ginger furred feline that so fascinated her these days, and she loved it. Samar rolled her eyes in exasperation, but couldn't stop the tiny smile from tugging at her lips all at the same time. They both paused and watched as Leila jumped eagerly to her feet and scuttled around the living room, ducking and glancing under Aram's desk, around the side of the couch and between its cushions, and then behind her toy box –all places in the living room that even she knew Bandit loved to hide in.  

Finally, Leila stopped, turning on the spot to stare back at Aram and Samar, her hazel eyes wide in adorable toddler confusion.  

'Where Baddit?' She babbled curiously. There was a split second that passed, where it felt like something heavy and uncomfortable sank suddenly in both Samar and Aram's stomachs in the exact same moment. They turned their heads, their eyes meeting in shared dread.  
'You check the bedroom, I'll check the bathroom?' Samar hurriedly suggested. Aram nodded before the words even finished passing through her lips, both of them turning on their heels and darting through the apartment. Leila scurried along right behind them, curiously poking her head into every other known hiding place they could think of... But still, Bandit was nowhere to be found.

Samar swivelled around on the spot as she returned to the living room, running every hiding place over and over again in her mind...

...And then she spotted what it was that hadn't been quite right.

'Oh crap,' she whispered to herself, just as Aram re-entered the living room behind her. Samar stared straight ahead as she spoke again, prompting Aram to turn his own attention to the curtains flickering in the early Fall breeze; 'the window.'

/*/*/*/*

Back in Angus' living room, Riley played happily with Sammy and Leila –the desperately needed distraction from the drama at pre-school earlier in the day. Angus and Liz stood by the kitchen counter watching them, a small pile of colourful, crayon scribbled drawings in front of them. Liz stared down at the one on the top of the pile, unsure how it was supposed to be any kind of explanation of Riley and Angus' own stressful day.   
'That's a great picture,' Liz observed, smiling as she softly traced the lines on the page with her fingertips.   
'It's supposed to be a picture of all of us,' Angus murmured back. He was deliberately keeping his voice low, so as not to bring Riley's attention back to it yet again. 'You, me, Aram, Samar, Zahra, all the kids, Mehri and Naveed... Everyone.'  
'I can see that,' Liz replied, speaking just as softly. She shifted her gaze from the long line of stick figures standing in what appeared to be some kind of a garden, back to Angus and furrowed her brow in confusion. 'But what's wrong with it?'

Angus glanced over to his son playing so happily with Sammy and Amelia. He watched for a moment, smiling warmly at the mere sight of the trio that got along so well, and then again at Liz still standing there staring at him in such concern.  

'The teacher told all the kids to draw a picture of their _families,_ ' he quietly explained, and Liz instantly winced, 'then she asked him who all of these people-' Angus gestured at the long line of smiling stick figures '-are, and he couldn’t quite figure out how to explain that they both are and aren't technically family at the same time.' He paused, letting out a small sigh; 'so she told him to start again, not drawing anyone who's just a family friend, and he drew this one-' Angus pulled the next drawing out of the pile; one of a blonde haired man and a dark haired woman, with a boy and two girls standing between them in the line '-and then he got stuck because he knows you and I are more than friends but we deliberately haven't had the kids give us a label yet... So he was confused and the teacher was confused, and she tried to tell him you weren't family but he was adamant that you are, and then Riley had a meltdown and I had to pick him up early and try to explain the situation to the teacher.' Angus shook his head, anxiously running his fingertips through his hair. Liz stared at the second picture; the one of the five figures all drawn to appear so happy in their apparent, single family unit. It made her heart swell with affection for the little boy who had taken the new relationship entirely in his stride, and yet at the same time, it broke her heart to think that Riley's adoring view of them all was causing such confusion to the point where they would have to be careful navigating it without shattering it entirely. She shuffled sideways slightly, winding an affectionate arm around Angus', who in turn pressed a slow, adoring kiss to the top of her head.

They had been so determined _not_ to confuse the three kids with their barely two month along relationship, but it seemed that in deciding not to sit them all down and try to explain it in toddler terms, they had only made it ten times _more_ complicated, rather than the reverse. Up until then, everything seemed to have been working so well; they understood each other, and the three little ones all adored each other... But now, Riley's simple attempt to display his affection for what was family in his view of the world, had backfired in his face all because of a simple pre-school drawing exercise. Still, the little boy didn't understand what he had supposedly done wrong at school, and Angus couldn't figure out how to explain it to him either.

As far as he and Liz were both concerned, everyone even in Riley's _first_ picture _was_ family.

A tug at the end of her shirt sleeve jolted her attention from Angus' internal dilemma and she glanced down; there was Riley, no longer distracted but rather, standing in the tiny space between them, staring miserably up at his father.  

'Daddy, I don't want to go to school tomorrow,' the little boy's voice wavered as threateningly as his trembling lip. 'Miss Elleton's mean.' His eyes were wide in their miserable fear of returning to the sight of the day's earlier drama, and Angus couldn't help but let his shoulders sag at the sight of his son so upset at something that would have been a complete non-issue to a more understanding teacher. He crouched down to Riley's level, gently stroking his little boy's cheek.   
'I know today wasn't great, Riles,' he murmured, 'but I had a talk with Miss Elleton, and you still have to go to school tomorrow.'  
' _But I don't want to_ ,' Riley protested again, more emphatic this time as he gave a small stamp of his foot too; ' _I hate school_. _'_  
'How many times have you heard that today?' Liz asked, with a cautious wince. All Angus could do was let out a sigh as he responded;  
'To be honest, I've lost count.'

That was nearly just as heartbreaking as the picture. Riley had been so thrilled to start school, and in one foul swoop the joy had been torn away from him.  

Liz crouched down by Riley's other side, just as Sammy toddled back to him with Amelia crawling along on her heels. All in a huddle they stayed there on the floor, with the three kids together in the middle, and Liz and Angus either side of them... Almost exactly like Riley's picture.  

'Hey Riley,' Liz gently –but still cautiously- began to speak, 'maybe Miss Elleton didn't understand today, but she does now, ok?' She reached up to the counter and pulled down the drawing that had caused so much trouble. 'And _I_ love your picture, it's beautiful.' That brought a tentative smile to the little boy's face.  
'Really?' He gasped. Liz nodded, as earnestly as she could muster.   
'Really really.' Riley's smile widened further again, and he pushed the drawing a little closer to her.  
'You want to stick it on your fridge-rator?'  
'Sure,' Liz beamed, 'but-' she shot Angus a quick grin '-if you want it stuck on my refrigerator, you have to try going to school again tomorrow, ok? Is that a good deal?' Riley let out a tiny sigh, shifting on his feet in a moment of indecisiveness as he weighed the compromise over in his mind.   
'Yeah...' He finally mumbled, 'I guess...' Angus wound a proud arm around him and Liz tousled his hair. Sammy pushed her way up into the mix and wrapped herself around Riley too -not that she really understood why they were all so stressfully huddled.  

A small grin finally crossed Riley's face at Amelia suddenly latching onto his arm and pulling herself to her feet to join in.

Liz met Angus' gaze over the heads of all three, sharing a quick grin of her own. As stressful as the day had been, they knew one thing; they were going to work out just fine.

/*/*/*/*

Aram paced back and forth across the living room. Samar paced back and forth in front of the window. Both of them wrung their hands and shook their heads in frustration at not knowing how Bandit had managed to escape or now what to do about it, all the while Leila scuttled back and forth across the room between the pair of them.   
'How the hell did we leave the window open?' Aram muttered –to nobody in particular, and for the umpteenth time. They were normally so careful about their home security, that one of them just happening to accidentally leave the window open seemed just about unfathomable.   
'I don't know, maybe the building manager was doing maintenance or an inspection or something, and couldn't reach us,' Samar half-heartedly suggested to the air between them, 'but Bandit's not out on the fire escape either.' She paused in her pacing, glancing quizzically at Aram; 'do we need to start making flyers?'  
'He might still come back.' Aram's voice was far from convincing.   
' _Might.'_   Samar held his gaze as she repeated that crucial word. There was something inordinately unsettling about Bandit's absence; a sense of guilt and dismay that she never would have expected to feel for the creature she had once deemed little more than a fuzzy, orange nuisance. There was an attachment to Bandit now, formed from evening after evening of him forcing himself into her personal space and insisting on staying there until he felt sufficiently petted... And now, not only was the concept of losing him upsetting, but the timing of it happening less than a month after the scare that still had them so raw, made it even worse.  

It was yet another stress of the day –one, that they so desperately did _not_ need.  

'Where Baddit?' Leila's voice jolted both of their gazes away from each other and back to her. The question was less curious now, and more anxious instead. Her bottom lip popped out, trembling miserably; despite being only two, she knew something was wrong. Her entire body language embodied everything Samar and Aram felt inside, and their glances flickered cautiously back to each other's faces fraught with concern.  
'I might grab some more of her soft toys as a distraction before she gets too upset,' Samar said hurriedly. She ran her fingertips anxiously through her long pony tail and darted back out of the room, barely catching Aram's equally hurried nod of agreement. Tears that threatened to unleash themselves stung her eyes, and Samar squeezed and blinked them away as she turned and moved.

There was a silent pause, as Aram waited for her to return armed with some half a dozen stuffed animals... But, she didn't. 'Hey...' Samar's hesitant voice sailed down the hallway back to him, 'Aram?'  
'Mmm?' Aram poked his head curiously back around into the hallway, furrowing his brow in confusion at the sight of Samar standing still empty-handed, gesturing at the door to Leila's room.   
'Did you close Leila's bedroom door before we left this morning?' Samar hadn't even noticed that at first either; since returning home from the evening, they hadn't entered Leila's room once, nor had they thought to look inside during their frantic search for Bandit –after all, normally the ginger furball knew he wasn't supposed to be in there.

It was the one instruction they could give him, that he actually seemed to abide by, funnily enough.  

'No, why would I?' Aram's question seemed almost rhetorical; that door was never closed. If Leila was in her room they preferred to be able to hear her, or sneak in to check on her without its squeaky hinges waking her... And when she wasn't in there, there was simply no reason to close it. Samar pushed the door open and moved curiously inside, with Aram and Leila following just a second behind. Samar was quiet as the light flickered on ahead of them, and when Aram caught up, spotting her standing in the centre of Leila's room shaking her head and breaking into a soft, amused smile, he couldn’t help but be confused.   
'Look,' Samar whispered, her hand rising to gesture at Leila's crib. Aram shifted his gaze from Samar to the crib, and instantly let out a deep breath of relief.

There was Bandit, having somehow jumped off something into Leila's crib, now sound asleep within. At first glance, he was almost unnoticeable, curled up in a tight ball and buried deep amongst the mountain of stuffed animals that sat in the corner.  

The best Aram could figure, Bandit must have sneakily followed the building manager into the room during an inspection -or crept in to hide from said manager- and then wound up trapped inside when the manager left again and absent-mindedly closed the door behind him.

' _Baddit_ ,' Leila's delighted squeal broke through all attempts to be quiet rather than waking the cat. She bounced gleefully up and down on the balls of her feet, grasping at the bars of the crib from the outside and pressing her face up against them to stare at her beloved pet.   
'Ohhh, he wouldn't have eaten or had any water all day since he got stuck in here,' Aram gasped, as the wave of relief slowly passed and reality quickly kicked in. He lurched forwards, lowering the bars on the side of the crib to allow Bandit to jump out again. Samar was right beside him, reaching forwards almost immediately to give Bandit a reassuring scratch behind the ears.   
'Come on, Furball,' she gently tried to coax him out from amongst the stuffed animals. The relief was almost overwhelming –yet another feeling she wouldn't have expected to hit her so hard where the cat was concerned. Regardless, Bandit seemed totally unfazed by being trapped, and barely moved a muscle in response to them essentially setting him free. He buried his waffly nose deeper into the soft toys, gave a small flick of his tail, and then let out a deep, rumbling purr that vaguely resembled the sound of a freight train in the distance... But other than that he remained quite content amongst the toys.   
'Mama noooo,' Leila protested, from Samar's side, 'my Baddit.' The little girl's tiny fingertips latched onto the side of her mattress as the bars lowered, trying and failing to clamber up into the crib. Samar shot a momentary, questioning glance at Aram –who shrugged in response- before giving Leila a tiny boost upwards. The little girl scrambled the short distance across her mattress, borderline throwing herself down into the soft toy mountain beside Bandit, and snuggling straight into him. The cat made no protest, moving _just_ enough to bump his waffly nose against Leila's cheek in greeting and making her giggle softly, before resuming his snooze.   
'I know you keep saying _I'm_ the one Bandit's attached to,' Samar quietly mused, 'but I think it's actually Leila.' Beside her, and winding one arm around her, Aram watched on too.  
'Agreed.' He nodded as he spoke quietly, then dotted a kiss to the top of Samar's head, 'dinner time now?'  
'You know what?' She softly laughed back, 'I think it's one of those rare occasions where we just need to order a pizza.'

Aram nodded again and grinned in complete agreement.

The day had been well and truly stressful enough now, but as they watched Leila and Bandit snuggled together in her crib -of all the places the furball could have chosen to hide from the building manager- they felt content and calm again at last. Their little family was firmly in tact, and that was all that mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, I said not everything was lost... You'll things starting to move forwards again, in 'Acceptance'.


	104. Acceptance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date; Friday-Saturday, September 14-15, 2018.
> 
> Here we go, the second of today's two chapters. Enjoy!

**_FRIDAY NIGHT..._ **

The apartment was quiet that evening, filled with the silence of Leila finally sound asleep, and Samar absent yet again while on assignment for Mossad. The only sound was Aram's occasional sleepy yawns as he watched the next episode of Doctor Who in his current rewatch at minimal volume. He leaned heavily back into the couch, staring blankly at the television screen... And turning only when his phone sounded from deep inside his pocket. Half-heartedly, Aram pulled out the device and glanced at the screen, raising a curious eyebrow at the incoming video call ringing through from Samar.

'Hey,' he teasingly greeted her, as he answered the call and Samar's face suddenly appeared on the screen in the palm of his hand, 'I thought you weren't supposed to call home while you're on assignment.' Wherever she was in the world, Samar broke into a wry smile. It was far from the first time she had broken that rule; every so often she missed Aram and Leila enough to push that boundary ever so slightly, and it was always amusing for him when she went away, to see if she would do it again.   
'I'm not,' she replied with a grin and waggling eyebrows, 'but I wanted to... And I have my own room, so who's going to know?' Little more than her face was visible on the screen; Samar was being careful despite her blatant breaking of the rules. She was holding her phone in such a way that only a bare, light grey painted wall was visible behind her, and the light was difficult to distinguish between natural light from a window, or hotel room ceiling lights. There was no way to tell where she was or even what time zone she was in, unless Aram traced the call and well... He knew better than to even consider doing that, and Samar knew he knew.

She called when for whatever reason, she missed him and Leila more than usual, and if she could spare the few minutes of privacy to do so. On this occasion, the first time being away from home again since their loss, it was almost impossible not to. They were moving on, but still she missed the closeness they shared that pulled them through it. The intimacy that had spiked after their initial decision to not-try, had been replaced almost entirely by a different kind in the wake of their scare; they had held each other as close as they could, and more frequently now, but had taken pause in going any further. It wasn't even intentional; there had been no actively deciding to stop, simply that in the immediate aftermath of their loss, neither of them had felt like it. The doctors had said in the aftermath that for her at least, such a feeling was normal but in reality, doing so felt like it hit far too close to home for _both_ of them… And so, they had simply held each other close for comfort instead. Though now, being pulled away from him completely, even just for a night or two -depending on which of the two time zones they were in- Samar felt like her Aram bandaid had been all too sharply ripped off, so to speak.

And what was worse was that all of a sudden she _craved_ his presence again, and not just in the sense of holding each other close. It was like all of a sudden, a button had been pushed or a switch flipped in her brain, and she needed that inextricable closeness that came with nothing other than their physical intimacy. Perhaps it was that too much time had passed now since they had last shared that closeness and her body was in withdrawal, or perhaps it was simply that by now, _enough_ time had passed, and she was ready for that next step in things returning to normal once more.

All that Samar knew was that it had been a distraction on the plane when she left, it had been a frustration during her assignment and now, staring at him on her phone and knowing he was half a world away, it was a desperation.

'You want to see Leila?' Aram's soft question brought her attention all the way back from where her imagination was going with his mischievous grin. Samar shook the visual from her mind, then nodded.  
'Of course,' she said, her smile more warm than teasing now. She watched as on her phone, she could see Aram moving from the couch in the living room, down the hallway of their apartment, until he stood in the doorway of Leila's door. The image quickly changed as he switched camera views, from his grin as he softly chuckled, to the darkness of Leila's room as she slept in her crib.  
'She's sleeping like a log,' Aram whispered, 'adorably as always.' He held his phone there long enough for Samar to watch the gentle movement of Leila's soft, sleeping breaths for a moment, and break into a contemplative smile, before he switched the view back and hurriedly moved back to the couch without waking her. 'When are you coming home? He asked, once settled back on the couch. The question was contemplative and earnest; he missed her too, and just as much.

That voice only made the desperation some ten times worse; all she wanted right then was to be able to reach out, touch him, and feel him close to her… But she had to wait, at least just a little while longer.

'Early tomorrow morning,' Samar murmured back, struggling to hold back a flirtatious grin, 'I'm leaving for the airport in a few hours.' Aram's eyes crinkled happily at that.  
'You know the drill,' he chuckled back, though the earnest expression on his face made the point that Samar already knew, but Aram always had to say again anyway; 'be safe.'

/*/*/*/*

**_SATURDAY MORNING..._ **

The apartment was even quieter when Samar crept through the front door shortly before five. She was careful to hold the door handle all the way until the door clicked closed, ensuring that there was no noise to wake anyone up. As she always did, she peeked her head around the half-ajar door to Leila's room on the way past -noting Mr Spikes being sleepily strangled yet again- before heading to her and Aram's room to set down her bags.

Aram wasn't there.

Samar furrowed her brow, glancing around the bedroom. The bathroom was empty and its light switched off, and even more curiously; the bed was still neatly made as if Aram hadn't even slept in it at all. Samar tossed her bags atop the covers then turned on her heels, ambling curiously back down the hallway. In moving from the front door almost straight down the hall to her own room, she had completely bypassed the living room.

…But there he was.

Still on the couch in his pajama bottoms that he had been wearing during the video call the night before, Aram was tipped sideways on the couch with the old blanket that had been neatly spread across the backrest now strewn across his legs. He had fallen asleep there after their call and after his Doctor Who episode, rather than going to bed. A tiny, soft smile began to etch its way across Samar's face as she watched him there, sleeping so soundly. Without a single second's hesitation, she climbed onto the couch beside him, slipping into the narrow space between his side and the back of the couch, then nestling her head against his shoulder. A deep, content sigh escaped her and she allowed her eyes to fall closed, curling further and further into his side. Whether she woke up on her side with him behind her, his face buried in her hair or the back of her neck, and one arm draped loosely over the curve of her waist, or whether he was on his back with her sprawled halfway on top of him and her face squashed against his chest, it didn't matter. Each other's bodies had, for both of them, become as much a part of their sleeping comfort as the bed that they shared. Now, returning home from yet another night away, curling into him again was just as much of a comfort.

Aram began to stir at her movement, squirming to free the one arm that instinctively wound its way around her, even in his sleep. His eyes flickered and his head turned, burying his face in her hair as his brain fought waking up.

'Morning,' she murmured softly in his ear. Taking his stirring and his arm around her as her cue, she pressed a kiss to his cheek, then another, and another, forming a jagged line of kisses down his jaw and then his neck. If Aram's brain hadn't been still fogged with sleep, he might have even commented on the touch of seductiveness to her voice, but instead he simply hummed in absolute contentment at the gentle, warm breath down his neck that made his skin begin to tingle.  
'You're back...' Aram's sleepy voice mumbled, 'missed you…' His arm wound a little tighter around her, his fingertips running slowly, tantalisingly along the curve of her waist that was bare from her shirt slipping up when she first crawled onto the couch beside him. There was a dopey smile on his face as his eyes finally flickered open for good, both of them breathing deeply in overwhelming contentment at the tingling of bare skin against bare skin. One hand ran down all the way from her cheek, along her neck, her shoulders, her arms, searching for her fingers to curl his around them… She sighed happily at his touch…

…But halfway down her arm, he stopped.

There was a small, medical dressing on her inner forearm that caught his attention, and Aram paused his fingertips there, furrowing his brow in curious concern.

'Hey,' he spoke softly, 'what's this?' As far as he was aware, there had definitely been nothing wrong with her arm when she left the day or so earlier, and the dressing itself looked new. His eyes met hers, his questioning gaze demanding an answer.  
'A run in with some rusty metal,' Samar said casually, trying to quickly dismiss the issue. She buried her face back into his neck, much preferring to continue down the path they _had_ been travelling before he noticed her tiny injury.  
'The scaling a rusty fence kind of run in, or the close combat with an old knife kind?' He pressed again -albeit still gently. He was more curious than anything else, and just wanting to make sure for his own peace of mind that she was ok.

The last thing they needed was for her to grow too reckless out of frustration at recent events, and wind up seriously hurt in the field.

Samar screwed up her face in mild exasperation before drolly speaking again, however;  
'The kind that didn't even need stitches so you don't need to know those classified details.' She broke into an amused smirk at his own eye roll of exasperation in response.  
'You might still need a Tetanus booster shot,' he observed, but added a sheepish kiss to her lips all the same.  
'Already done,' she laughed softly, kissing him back, 'occasionally, Mossad takes care of its own.'  
'Occasionally, huh?' He drolly asked. 'Was this before or after the unsanctioned video call?' Samar simply gave a nonchalant shrug as she replied;  
'It overlapped.' She nuzzled back into his neck once more, effectively ending the discussion. In all honesty, she had scratched herself towards the end of her team's raid, and called from her hotel room right afterwards, while waiting for her teammate to scrounge up the shot and bring it to her. But, that was beside the point. Right now, Samar had something completely different marked as the top priority in her mind. By now, they had rolled enough on the couch, that she was at least half on top of him. Their legs tangled together, Aram's fingertips resumed their tingling soft trace along her back, all the while Samar her fingertips through his hair, making him let out an involuntary moan. Next, she focused on one of his ears, nibbling teasingly at its edge.  
'Mmmm…' He hummed, 'what are you doing?'  
'I missed you too,' Samar scoffed back. Aram pulled back just enough to breathe, and to stroke her cheek as he met her gaze.  
'Not that I'm complaining about this particular version of 'good morning' but-' his brow furrowed with a hint of concern as he spoke '-are you sure you want to do this now?' Just over a month had now passed since that devastating emergency dash to the hospital, and in that time they hadn't once dared to go this far. Samar had needed to heal, and then after that both of them had been too raw. But now, she was ready. Out of nowhere, the readiness was overwhelming, bursting inside her desperately -not just to feel that intense closeness again, but to finally try again, _properly_ this time.

She stared back at him, cautious but excited all at once. She bit her lip, eyeing the tentative excitement on his face, too.

'Are _you_ ready?' She asked, just as gently. There was a second's pause, as Aram weighed it up in his mind… And then, broke into a nervous grin and nodded his enthusiasm. 'Then...' Samar slowly began again, taking a deep breath as the excitement lit up her face even further; 'I think it's time.' Aram's arms wound slowly back around her again, pulling her in closer, and she sank into him gladly. They rolled on the couch, all too eagerly tracing every fraction of an inch of one another again as if no time had passed at all. By the end, they were both gasping in ecstasy, still not wanting to let go of each other even in the slightest.

The time that passed would never let them forget but ever so slowly, it was helping to ease the pain. Now, though still grieving, they had tentatively reached the ultimate milestone.

Acceptance.

Though in doing so, and in being so engrossed in each other… Neither one of them noticed exactly what blanket it was that had been draped over Aram's legs earlier -or rather, the blanket that now draped loosely over both of them.

They were simply all too glad to be able to keep moving forwards, _together_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, 'Developments'. Will the revelation of someone new in Ressler's life upset the balance?


	105. Developments

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date: Friday-Saturday, September 28-29, 2018.
> 
> BONUS POST; because after that series finale and *spoiler alert* SARAM IS CANON, I seriously wanted to get as much of this story up today as I can before I have to leave, so keep an eye out. Starting with this chapter, I'll put as many of the last eight up as I can one by one, before I go.

**_FRIDAY MORNING…_ **

Ressler was hovering by Samar's desk when she and Aram arrived that morning. He stood there awkwardly, shuffling subconsciously on his feet as he saw them exit the elevator, and walk towards him. As soon as they reached him, he deflected to Leila. He reached out with particular enthusiasm to take her from Samar's arms, and adoringly kissed the top of her soft curls.

'Hey, little Sprout,' he murmured to her, chuckling softly at the way she could only respond with a wide-mouthed yawn. 'Oh, someone's sleepy this morning.'  
'She fell asleep in the car on the way over, and she's only just woken up again,' Samar commented softly, tousling her little girl’s pigtails. She glanced up to Ressler again, to the way he was determinedly focusing his attention on Leila still… He was stalling from something. Samar stayed quiet, waiting for whatever it was that he was apparently wanting to ask as early as possible. It took a moment; Ressler was sidetracked now, in doting affectionately on the still half-asleep toddler in his arms, but then he finally took a breath, and spoke up.  
'Can I ask you something?' He began, shifting cautiously on his feet once more. Samar raised a single, curious eyebrow, and quickly nodded her assent. 'I, uh…' Ressler hesitated again. 'The last couple of months I've started seeing someone.' He trailed off for a moment, holding Samar's gaze as if awaiting some kind of interjecting judgement. A wry smile simply tugged at Samar's lips, wondering where he was going with such a subject.  
'That's not a question,' she observed, almost teasing but only gently so, when he didn't continue. Ressler hesitated for one more second before gritting his teeth.  
'I was wondering if she could meet Leila,' he said, his voice more determined this time. 'I know it's only been a couple of months, which is why I've only _told_ her about Leila so far, and I didn't want them to meet too soon, but…' Ressler paused for a second, never quite comfortable where it came to admitting feelings, especially to Samar. 'I really think she's going to be sticking around.'

There was a terrifying moment of silence as Samar processed that implied request. She hadn't suspected, not even for a second, that Ressler had started seeing someone. His time with Leila was flexible enough to schedule it around a girlfriend easily, with the two of them never meeting, and with Samar never knowing. There had been occasional moments where Ressler had arrived in the war room in a mood that for unexplained reasons, seemed happier than usual, but never enough to make anyone suspicious or notice any kind of pattern. In trying to keep his blossoming romance to himself while he figured out where it was going before admitting it, he had succeeded in a level of discretion none of them would have expected. In hindsight however, it suddenly made sense.

For that moment, Samar was almost too stunned by the revelation to process the million and one factors suddenly swirling around in her mind, and to figure out exactly how she felt about it.

'Fair enough,' she quickly replied. Her nod was possibly too enthusiastic but if Ressler noticed, he said nothing. If she delayed responding any longer, the overhanging question would grow more and more awkward by the second. All at once, she both was and wasn't ok with the development, and didn't quite know what to say. In the end, she settled for narrowly staving off the instinctive outburst, trying to understand Ressler's reasoning at least and finally, deflecting with her usual dry humour. 'So, this girl, huh?' Samar forced herself to break into a teasing grin. 'What's she like?' Ressler paused before responding, surprised by the lack of outburst, but relieved by it all the same. The tension in his shoulders began to ease, and he offered a cautious smile.  
'Horrifyingly enough,' he began, almost nervous in his quiet chuckle 'I think the two of you would actually get along pretty well.' Samar raised a wry eyebrow, contemplating that for a moment as she took Leila back from Ressler's arms, ready to take her downstairs.  
'That _is_ horrifying,' she mused, brushing gently past him.

There was little else she could think of to say.

/*/*/*/*

**_SATURDAY MORNING…_ **

The notion of Ressler's new girlfriend meeting Leila continued swirling curiously around in Samar's mind the next morning. She and Aram took Leila to the local park as they often did on a Saturday morning to roll the old soccer ball around in the grass, before Leila was supposed to head off to Ressler's place that afternoon. It was that very afternoon that he was planning to introduce them all.

It was something about which Samar wasn't sure how to feel. She and Ressler had mended their fences so long ago now, and had a certain boundary and routine set with Leila that had been in place without issue for at least a year. On one hand, she _wanted_ to be ok with this particular development, and on the other hand she felt like she wasn't _supposed_ to be ok with it at all. The reality was somewhere in the middle; not anywhere close to being as comfortable with it as she would have hoped to be for Ressler's -and more importantly, _Leila's_ \- sake, but she wasn't quite as upset by it as she would have expected herself to be either.

It was a strange feeling that in the end, she struggled to describe in words beyond 'cautious' or 'nervous'.

The idea of another woman potentially taking on anything even _vaguely_ close to a mothering role over Leila, had Samar particularly unsettled, even though she knew -and kept trying to remind herself- that wasn't really the situation at all. The fact that Aram had taken on Leila's father role despite Ressler still being in the picture to a certain degree, kept echoing in her mind. It made it hard to convince herself that Ressler's new girlfriend wasn't essentially the exact same thing, but in reverse. Samar took a breath, forcing herself to remember that there _were_ differences between them; Ressler and Aram knew each other well before any issues over Leila came between them, making it far easier for all of them to navigate the blurred lines and trust each other to respect them... Whereas she had never met this new, mystery woman before in her life. She had Leila the overwhelming majority of the time, making Aram's role in Leila's life feel far more practical… Whereas Ressler had Leila every second Saturday night and following Sunday -or any approximate equivalent that came equal to two to three days and nights a month, give or take any special occasions- which made the role of any potential girlfriend of his over Leila far less influential.

Samar felt obligated to be ok with the new development, as Ressler had accepted Aram in Leila's life. She knew that it wasn't quite the same situation, and in a way that worked _far_ more in her favour than that of Ressler's new girlfriend… And she also knew that she probably shouldn't judge his girlfriend's intentions without meeting her first. In most part, Samar was relatively ok with the situation, the more she focused on weighing it up in her mind… But there was an unavoidable, inevitable, spiralling sense of wariness in her gut that wouldn't ease no matter how much she tried to let her practical, logical brain rule.

It was her immediate instinct to protect her child before all else; though she trusted Ressler's judgement if he said his girlfriend wasn't some kind of master criminal, she had to meet and evaluate for herself _any_ new person poised to enter her daughter's life.

All of that, Samar tried to push to the back of her mind as she ran around on the grass with Leila, but couldn't quite manage it. Regardless, she was determined to focus on her little girl and the game they both so loved to play. She broke into a wide smile as Leila pushed the ball with her toes, and it rolled towards the tree Aram sat next to on the grass while he watched them.

They weren't playing to any particular rules, so much as they were just running around, rolling the ball for the fun of it… But that certainly served as an effective enough goal, of sorts.

'Champion of the wooooooooorld,' Samar cheered. She jogged the few strides it took to catch up with Leila and scooped her up with a flourish, holding her up in the air as she continued to cheer for the goal. Leila was starting to tire now, from having played non stop for the last ten minutes, but still she giggled madly as she waved her little arms around in the air. 'Ok,' Samar chuckled, bringing Leila back down to regular hold height, and dotting kisses all over her cheeks, 'I think it's time to watch the experts for a little while.' She set Leila back on her feet next to Aram, who instantly began pulling silly faces. Leila jumped on him, still giggling, and Aram wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. Within seconds, Leila nestled into them in utter contentment, letting out a wide yawn against his shoulder. She stayed there like that, staring out across the park over his shoulder, at the local women's team training on the small field just beyond the playground. That was the next part of the routine after tiring herself out, chasing the ball; watching the team in utter fascination, while Samar and Aram sat on the grass either side of her, sipping their morning coffee from a thermos brought from home.

'How old does Leila have to be before she can start running around with a local team?' Aram asked softly, running absent minded fingertips through mahogany curls. Samar paused, furrowing her brow in contemplation for a moment.  
'At least four,' she suggested, though not entirely sure, 'probably older. Depends on the team, I think.'  
'Ressieeeeee,' Leila burst out. Over Aram's shoulder, the little girl broke into a wide smile, reaching out with one hand to point in the direction of the soccer players.  
'That's _soccer_ , Leila,' Aram gently corrected her, glancing for a split second towards the team, and then dotting another kiss to the top of her head. Samar shifted her gaze to the players running back and forth across their field, curious to know what Leila was pointing at. There was one player there that Samar recognised from week to week -mostly because she had fiery red hair that was impossible to miss in the crowd- and that always seemed to catch Leila's attention, too.

She figured that was what Leila was pointing at.

'She loves watching that player, there,' Samar observed, gesturing at the woman with the bouncing pony tail of flaming red ringlets. 'Actually, she's pretty good.'  
'Ressieee,' Leila burbled again. Aram shook his head in amusement; Leila was intently focused on the crowd of players, and the smaller crowd of people standing under the trees closer to them.  
'Is she just that excited to go to Ressler's today?' Aram caught Samar's eye, both of them now completely confused by what Leila was trying to tell them. With a tiny shrug, Samar rose to her feet again, and Aram followed suit. They ambled across the grass, past the playground, closer to the rest of the spectators.

'Hang on a second,' Samar spoke up again, her voice slow in its curiosity, 'that's _her_.'  
'Huh?' Aram didn't quite follow. Samar gestured casually towards the team running their final lap around the field. Everything Ressler had told her the day before about his girlfriend, now ran rapidly through Samar's mind. At a distance, she hadn't connected the dots, but closer up… It was easier to see that woman looked exactly as Ressler had described.  
'That soccer player that Leila likes to watch, the one with the red hair,' she murmured, 'I think that's Alison.'  
' _Resssieee_ ,' Leila burst out again, even more determined this time. She pulled at Samar's hand holding on to hers, trying to lurch forwards, but Samar held on.

A strawberry blonde head -not even noticeable amongst the crowd of onlookers at first glance- turned in response to her call, as the soccer players huddled together for their end of training talk amongst themselves.

'Leila?' Ressler's voice reached their ears barely a second before he came into view. Somehow, Leila had spotted him, zeroing in on his presence in the crowd well before Samar or Aram had. Ressler hurried across the small patch of grass that remained between them, reaching straight for Leila. 'Hey, little Sprout,' he greeted her with a warm smile, before glancing curiously back to Samar. 'What are you guys doing here?' Samar broke into a wry smile, taking note of the red-headed woman now heading quickly towards them from behind Ressler.  
'We usually come down on the weekends to kick a ball around and work off some energy,' she mused. Before Ressler could even respond, the red-headed woman came to a stop by Ressler's side, gently brushing against his arm in greeting. She shot him a silent, quizzical glance, taking note of Samar, Aram, and most importantly, Leila's presence around him, just as Samar had observed her approach. Ressler shuffled awkwardly on the spot for a second.  
'Uh,' he forced an awkward laugh, 'well this is earlier than expected.' He made the quick round of introductions, between Samar, Aram, and the woman who just as suspected, was indeed the mysterious Alison. '…And _this_ little munchkin-' Ressler finally gestured to Leila curled in his arms '-is Leila.'

Alison offered them all perfectly friendly smiles and hellos, reserving the widest for Leila.

Leila, however, squirmed in Ressler's arms. She shied away from Alison, leaning as far back away from her in Ressler's arms as she could, and towards Samar instead.  
'Mama ball,' she mumbled shyly, reaching desperately for the old soccer ball that Samar held. Samar stood close enough that Leila could just reach to drum on the ball with her fingertips. To her other side, Alison offered her another smile, though more nervous this time. It wasn't difficult to note, even for her, that Leila was shying away from her, no matter how friendly she tried to be.  
'You like soccer too, Leila?' Alison gently tried to reach out to the little girl. Her shoulders rose slightly in nervous tension, as if she desperately wanted to get along well with them all, but just couldn't quite break the ice with Leila.  
'She _loves_ it,' Ressler insisted, glancing back and forth, cautiously to Samar, and hesitantly encouraging to Alison. Still, Leila leaned away from Alison and eyed her warily, reaching out over Ressler's arms for Samar instead. His encouraging smile faltered, and he reluctantly set Leila back on her feet. Within a second, the little girl ducked behind Samar's legs, clutching shyly at the seams of her jeans. Ressler's shoulder slumped slightly; the introduction wasn't at all going how he had hoped. He had thought that the shared love of soccer would give Leila and Alison -and even Samar, for that matter- an instant connection that would enable them to bypass the awkwardness. 'Well, _usually_.'

Samar furrowed her brow for a moment as she watched them interact; that Alison would be awkward with kids, or that Leila wouldn't like her, were both things that Samar didn't even think to consider before worrying about Alison's influence. That surprisingly bugged her more than she thought it would. The idea of Ressler having a girlfriend who would have to meet Leila wasn't so hard to accept -after all, it wasn't as if any of them expected him to remain single for the rest of his life. But, if he had to be with someone, and that someone had to meet Leila, well… Though Samar didn't want that person being too influential, the last thing Samar wanted was for her little girl to actually be _scared_ of that person.

That wouldn't help the situation of Leila and Ressler spending regular time together, and of the happy balance they had all finally found together, _at all_.

'Am I doing something wrong?' She heard Alison whisper anxiously to Ressler. Samar and Aram both tried not to look as if they were listening. Both averted their gazes to Leila idling around Samar's legs, with only flickering glances elsewhere. Alison had been nothing but friendly so far, but now looked uneasy. As far as Samar knew -from what Ressler had told her- Alison loved kids. She had none of her own, and few of her friends and family had them for her to interact with either, but she was most definitely enthusiastic about them. She was also a kind, gently spoken woman, who hated seeing anyone upset.  
'No, no,' Ressler's equally quiet voice tried to reassure her, 'she's just being shy.' An uncharacteristic pang of something that wasn't _quite_ guilt, began to swirl ever so slightly in Samar’s gut. Protecting Leila from the potential influence of strangers was one thing, but Samar had no intention of being outright hostile to Alison. Not only would that damage things between herself and Ressler, but it would impact Leila badly as well.

She didn't want Alison to take on any kind of mothering role, but she _did_ want them to get along well enough.

And taking in the wide-eyed, miserable concern on his girlfriend's face, Ressler looked utterly dejected.

Finally Ressler gave a small shake of his head, shifting his attention back to Samar.  
'Uh, maybe-' he tried to start.  
'-Do you guys want some coffee?' Samar hurriedly spoke up right at the same time. 'We brought a thermos, and there's plenty left if you want some.' Aram nodded his adamant agreement, just as quickly.  
'Actually, maybe we should-' Ressler began again, but this time it was Alison who cut him off.  
'-That would be great,' she beamed enthusiastically at Samar. 'I always need coffee after training.'

Ressler and Samar both paused, glancing at Alison and then back at each other. Neither of them had expected Samar to suddenly make the offer of coffee, nor that Alison would accept.

But the awkwardness amongst them all as Samar tried to be protective but non-judgemental all at once, as Alison tried to engage with Leila only for her to shy away, and as Ressler desperately tried to encourage them all to get along… Was overwhelming. Aram didn't quite know where to look.

Somehow, offering the coffee had seemed the only way to move things onwards, whether it be effective in breaking the ice, or simply giving Ressler and Alison an out to get away, break the awkwardness for the moment, and try again later.

Warily, Samar led the group towards a nearby picnic table, gently guiding the still idling Leila along by her side. They sat across from one another at the table; Samar and Aram with Leila in between them on one side, and Ressler and Alison on the other. Samar spread out the stack of cups that clipped together at the end of the thermos, pouring out the remainder of the coffee that was _just_ enough to fill each cup. They sipped at the coffee in a silence that somehow became even more awkward. Smiles were exchanged back and forth across the table between sips in the attempt to be friendly, open, and non-threatening, but still neither side of the table really knew what to say to each other.

Every so often, Leila slid herself off the bench seat in the attempt to wriggle under the table. Each time, Samar or Aram lifted her gently back up again… But Leila determinedly continued. Finally, and resigning themselves to the fact that she was apparently more comfortable on the grass, they let her stay there. There was a tiny tug on the laces of Alison's soccer shoes, and then another… And then another.

Leila was fascinated by them.

Lip twitching with a tiny grin, Alison peeked her head under the table.  
'You like my soccer shoes, huh Leila?' She asked softly. Leila scampered backwards again in a flash, hiding once more behind Samar's legs. Alison let out a disheartened sigh as she rose back up from peeking under the table -one, that wasn't missed by anyone. Ressler discreetly squeezed her hand. Aram offered her an encouraging smile. Even Samar, who was relatively convinced by now that Alison was as sweet and harmless as Ressler had insisted the day before, tipped her head to Alison in acknowledgement of her continued attempts. She reached under the table to pry Leila from her legs, and gently guide her back towards Alison… But the little girl held on.

All of a sudden, Alison's brow furrowed with the curiosity of a new idea. She swivelled on her seat, glancing quickly at Ressler.  
'Don, could you pass me my bag?' She asked softly. Ressler raised one quizzical eyebrow, but handed over the bag regardless from where it sat on the end of the bench to his other side. Alison dug through her bag, retrieving the pair of sneakers she normally had to swap with her soccer shoes before leaving the field anyway, and quickly switched the two pairs of shoes. Her soccer shoes now free of her feet, she nudged them gently across the grass under the table with her toes, all the while sitting upright and facing the adults rather than frightening Leila by trying to smile at her again.

It took a moment, but then Samar felt the loosening of tiny hands from the grasp on her jeans. A moment later again, and there was a bump of soccer shoes against her own sneakers, as Leila turned them over eagerly in her hands. The silence across the table now was one of impatience and suspense, waiting to see if Leila would re-emerge from under the table. It felt like an eternity, until one shoe was pushed clumsily up onto the bench seat next to Alison, followed by the other shoe, then a tiny hand… Then, a chubby-cheeked face with curly, mahogany pigtails. Leila's tiny shoulders were about as warily tensed as Alison's, but still she stood there.  
'Hiiii,' the little girl shyly mumbled. She nudged the shoes ever so slightly across the bench, towards Alison. Alison broke into a tiny smile.  
'Oh, thank you,' she murmured softly, picking up the soccer shoes and tucking them back into her bag. 'Do you want to sit up here?' There was a moment of hesitation. Leila took a step sideways closer to Ressler… But tried to clamber up onto the bench all the same. Ressler helped her up, resting a reassuring arm around her. Leila leaned into his side, still shy of Alison, but sat there between them anyway, quietly staring at her so long as Alison didn't try to interact with her.

Just like Samar, it seemed Leila too, had to quietly observe new people before deciding how she felt about them.

Samar rose from the table as she finished her coffee, to rinse her now empty thermos under the faucet a few feet away that people used to refill their water bottles or give their dogs a drink. Leila's attention snapped straight to her at the movement, and she slid herself off the bench, wanting to play again. She wrapped herself around the ball that Samar had left under the table, then chased her across the grass.  
'Mama ball,' Leila squealed. Samar paused; though earlier than expected, they had been trying to convince Leila to interact more with Alison. Rolling the ball around with her now would be taking her _away_ from that particular task.

But as Samar glanced at her little girl's first instance of genuine enthusiasm in what was at least the last half hour, and then at Alison back at the table, breaking into a wide smile at Leila's eagerness for the soccer ball, she figured… Maybe a small break from the adults to play Leila's favourite game wouldn't be such a bad thing.

They rolled the ball back and forth between them, as Aram, Ressler, and Alison all watched on.

Leila cackled with glee as she chased the ball, pushed it forwards, and chased it again. She chased it back and forth across the grass in utter delight, until it rolled just _slightly_ too close to the table.

…And just slightly too close to Alison.

Leila paused, idling on the grass once more, wanting her ball back but not wanting to approach.

The ball kept rolling towards the table, until it came within reach for Alison to stop it with her toes. She met Leila's eye for a moment, offered one more, tiny smile… Then rolled the ball straight back.

Leila blinked, then grinned as it came back to her. She rolled it around with Samar a little longer, then paused. In what was a two year old's attempt at subtle -which was decidedly _not_ subtle at all- Leila took a sideways glimpse, then rolled the ball back towards the table once more.

Pretending to barely even notice, Alison rolled it straight back.

Aram and Ressler exchanged amused smirks across the table from one another; _finally_ , Leila was figuring Alison out.

Again, the ball found its way to Alison's feet… And then back to Leila's again two seconds later.

And then all of a sudden, there was a set of chubby toddler cheeks shyly grinning up at her by her knee.

Leila held out the ball that seemed like it was nearly as big as she was, out to Alison.  
'You play,' she burst out. Alison glanced over her shoulder to Ressler, both of them exchanging wary, but pleased expressions. Alison jumped up from the bench seat, jogging towards Samar and beckoning for Leila to follow. Giggling happily again, the little girl pushed the ball towards them both, then scampered eagerly along after them.

Either side of Leila on the grass, Alison caught Samar's eye. They tipped their heads to one another, and finally… Samar offered the fiery haired woman an earnest smile.

She continued smiling, as they rolled the ball back and forth between themselves and Leila.

 _This_ , was a development that Samar was comfortable with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, 'Wishes'.


	106. Wishes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date: Thursday, October 4, 2018.

Soft whispers and giggles were what Samar woke up to first, followed quickly thereafter by the smell of cooking. One arm reached out absentmindedly across the bed as it always did, but found no warm, hairy Aram to touch. Her eyes flickered open and she rolled over onto her back, breaking into a soft, sleepy smile.

The sound of giggling only intensified.

'Sssshhh, Leila,' Samar heard Aram's voice whisper from just beyond the bedroom door, 'Mama's just waking up.'  
'Mama wake,' Leila giggled softly back.  
'You know I can hear you two, right?' Samar's sleepy voice murmured, _just_ loud enough for them to hear her. There was a brief silence, and then another giggle, and something that sounded vaguely like Aram trying desperately to be quiet while he instructed Leila to 'go on' somewhere.

And then all of a sudden, there was a toddler tugging at the side of the bedcovers, trying to climb up onto her.

'Hap birfday mamaaaaaa,' Leila squealed, giggling madly. She giggled even more so, as Samar reached over the side of the bed to pluck her from the floorboards and lift her up into a cuddle. Samar sat up properly in the bed with Leila on her lap, gazing at Aram now lingering mischievously in the doorway, and grinning widely.  
'How long did it take to rehearse that one?' Samar asked drolly. Aram's eyes crinkled even more so, as he began crossing the room towards them.  
'You don't want to know,' he chuckled back. He leaned in over the bed, gently stroking Samar's cheek and pressing an affectionate kiss to her lips. 'Good morning, by the way,' he added softly. Aram sat himself down on the edge of the bed, still lingering close enough to Samar for her to rest her cheek quite contently on her shoulder.  
'Did you two get up extra early just to make me breakfast before work?' Her voice was calm and quiet, still sleepy, but amused by Leila squirming playfully across her knees. She reached forwards to gently tickle her little girl's sides, prompting yet another round of the sweet giggles she loved so much.  
'We did indeed,' Aram mused, lip twitching with a hint of amusement as he kissed the top of her head and watched them both. 'Leila's getting really good at tipping flour on the floor,' he added, giving a brief shake of his head in mock exasperation, 'but I figured, Restaurant à la Aram was such a hit last year, maybe we should try the breakfast menu.' Aram paused again, struggling to suppress a widening grin. He swivelled where he sat on the edge of the bed, discreetly pulling a piece of paper from his pocket and placing it in one of Leila's tiny hands. 'Speaking of which-' Aram spoke again, quickly prompting Leila forwards '-you might want to check it out.' Samar's brow furrowed quizzically for a split second, before Leila scrambled back up her legs, proudly presenting the piece of paper by holding it out and pushing it towards her face.

It was a drawing -or rather, a series of brightly coloured scribbles- by Leila, with Aram's menu written out one item per scribble, making up a list of 'French Toast', 'Pancakes', 'Fruit Salad', and most importantly, 'COFFEE'. The words 'Menu of the Restaurant à la Aram' ran across the top of the page, adorned with numerous colourful scrawls of their own.

It wasn't exactly clear whether Aram had written out his menu first, then given it to Leila to decorate, or whether he had simply made clever use of one of the many pieces of art she so loved to create for them, but either way the little girl seemed inordinately pleased with herself as she held it up for Samar's viewing, and Samar couldn't help but smile and once again wrap her arms adoringly around her daughter to cuddle her close.

'You didn't have to make such a fuss,' she murmured, her eyes crinkling happily as she glanced back at Aram over the top of Leila's mahogany curls, 'we missed _your_ birthday.' Aram instantly gave an exaggerated, teasing eye roll of mock exasperation.  
'I'm not worried about my birthday,' he scoffed -albeit only gently. He leaned in, completing the opposite side of the Leila sandwich, and kissed Samar's cheek. Missing his birthday was _far_ from the list of things he was worried about, even in the slightest. Closer to the top of that list, however, was capitalising on what could be a special day just for them, for _her_ , now that things were starting to get back on track. They needed something they could celebrate, some kind of positive milestone while they were back in the game of waiting and seeing for the one milestone that they _really_ wished for.

Samar held his gaze, calm and content, but earnest too. They were both thinking the same thing, but while she knew how much he loved to spoil her on such occasions, she didn't need him to do so for them to have that special moment they both wanted. She leaned in a little more, lingering just close enough to tilt her forehead to lean against his, and murmur softly before dotting a knowing, appreciative kiss to his lips;  
'I would have been quite happy with a simple sleep in together.'  
'I can owe you that,' Aram whispered back, smiling warmly against her lips. His fingertips wrapped gently around hers, ready to lead her towards the kitchen table he had already set up with fresh coffee and all her favourite flowers; 'come on, delicious breakfast awaits.'

/*/*/*/*

A tiny envelope awaited Samar when she returned to her desk from the interrogation room. It was propped up carefully against her stapler, with her name handwritten across the front… In Aram's handwriting.

A curious smirk crossed her face the second she spotted it.

'What is this?' Samar laughed as she turned on the spot to glance in the direction of Aram's desk behind hers. Aram however, simply gave a wry smile, all too pleased with himself.  
'Open it and find out,' he quipped back, waggling his eyebrows.

Samar reached out, plucking the envelope from her desk, opening up the end and peeking inside.

Inside, were two identical pieces of paper, freshly printed, and hand cut into what appeared to be about a sixth of a standard A4 page each.

The letters 'IOU' formed a title in large, curly font across the top of each one.

' _In honour of your birthday, this voucher hereby entitles you to ONE sleep in and cuddle combo_ ,' the next line read, ' _use it wisely_.'

Samar had to stop herself from either groaning, or bursting out laughing, as her eyes scanned those curly letters. She turned back on the spot to face Aram again, shaking her head in amused exasperation.  
'…Really?' She chuckled.  
'I told you this morning that I'd owe you the sleep in,' he replied, struggling not to grin instead of keeping his tone matter of fact. Samar eyed him curiously for a moment, strolling oh so casually across the thoroughfare that was the space between their desks until she reached the edge of his, standing opposite him and breaking into a teasing, flirtatious smirk.  
'Can I claim both vouchers in one hit for an extra long sleep in?' She asked. The flirtatious grin only widened, and Samar gave a suggestive waggle of eyebrows; 'or would claiming both at once refer to the _intensity_ , rather than the length of lie in duration?' Aram paused, instinctively glancing around the war room to make sure nobody was listening in to their conversation, before breaking into a mischievous grin of his own as he responded;  
'That's up to you.'

/*/*/*/*

After work, after dinner, and after finally settling a mildly cranky Leila into her crib for the night, Samar returned to the living room to see Aram not finishing up the dishes as she had left him, or finally relaxing back into the couch as she had expected, but standing there in the middle of the room, waiting for her. The lights were dimmed, and the grin on his face was mostly only visible from the candlelight stemming from a small tub of ice cream that he held out to her with both hands. The lid was popped, revealing a dose of her favourite triple chocolate flavour, with a spoon poked in either side, and topped with four little candles arranged in a neat square. Samar paused there in the doorway, breaking into a soft smile; it was always the small things he did that she loved the most, more than any kind of larger, fancier or more expensive gesture.  
'Last but not least,' he mused, 'every birthday cake should have a candle to blow out.' Samar raised an amused eyebrow, glancing up and down between Aram's grin and the ice cream. She took those last few steps across the room towards him and the supposed 'birthday cake', shaking her head with a hint of amusement.  
'You're not going to sing as well, are you?' Samar drolly asked, finally closing the gap between them. Aram gave a sheepish shrug.  
'No,' he chuckled, dotting a kiss to her cheek, 'I'll spare you that particular torture.' Samar reached for one of the spoons as she gratefully kissed him back, ready to dig into the sweet, frozen goodness she loved so much. 'Hey,' Aram objected, making Samar hurriedly glance up again in alarm. Aram gave an exaggerated sigh, shaking his head; 'you have to make a wish first,' he pointed out. Samar shot him an exasperated look.  
'Why?'  
'Because birthday candle wishes always come true.' Aram gave a lopsided grin, looking sheepish again; 'well, so long as you don't tell anyone what you wished for.'

Samar held his gaze for a moment, one eyebrow raised. Aram stared back, adamant and not giving in.

With a small shake of her head, and not really believing that she was about to partake in such a silly superstition, Samar took a breath. She thought about it for a moment then leaned in, softly blowing out each of the four candles in one breath.

'Happier now?' She mused, as she plucked the now darkened candles from the dessert and glanced back at Aram. He nodded, watching her set the candles back on the counter, before retaking her spoon. The air between them now was quiet; amused but also earnest at the same time.  
'Much,' he replied softly. Taking his own spoon in hand, he followed her towards the couch… All too ready himself, to dig into that delicious dessert as well.

/*/*/*/*

In part Aram had made Samar make a birthday wish just to be silly, just as he had made her IOU tokens to be silly. In part there had been a degree of seriousness to it too. He knew all too well what she would wish for if she did make a wish rather than contemplatively -and silently- blowing out the candles just to pacify him, and as far as Aram was concerned; there was no harm in adding the power of birthday candles to that particular desire… Plus, the idea that birthday wishes came true was one of the few he had always upheld a soft spot for ever since childhood.

He wrapped a gentle arm around her as they switched off the lights and both crept into bed. Samar curled contently into his side, letting out a deep breath of relief at the ever wonderful sensation that was laying down after a long day.

'Did you really make a wish?' The soft question tickled her ears, as Aram ran thoughtful fingertips through her hair. Samar let out a guilty smile against his shoulder, one that he couldn't see at all in the darkness.  
'…Yeah,' she quietly relented, 'I did.'  
'What did you wish for?' There was a pause where Samar didn't respond. Instead, she rolled slightly, shifting her position and swinging one leg over his so that she was on top of him.  
'You said I couldn't tell you that,' she murmured. There was a teasing edge to her voice that Aram instantly assumed went with a matching smirk. Her lips found his neck, then his collarbone, then she nuzzled into his chest, making him let out a deep sigh of contentment.  
'I didn't expect you to take me seriously,' Aram breathed, breaking into a soft smile. Samar tilted her head, still resting her chin against his chest but now staring up at him. Not only had she made a wish, but she had made exactly the wish Aram had guessed she would.

The wish for another child.

If she really had to make a silly birthday candle wish, Samar figured she may as well make the most of it.

And if birthday candle wishes really did come true, it would certainly be helpful.

His fingers ran through her hair once more, then down her sides, slipping under the bottom edge of the MIT shirt she had long since claimed, and running softly along the curved of her waist. Inch by inch Samar crept forwards, searching for his lips with hers.  
'Do I need to cash in those vouchers now?' She teased.  
'No,' Aram laughed softly back, breaking into a mischievous smile as she sank into him. His arms wound around her, pulling her in closer; 'not today.'

No words needed to be exchanged for Aram to figure out for himself that she really had made the wish he thought she would, but he was fairly certain that didn't count as her actually _telling_ him… _Right?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, 'Conference'.


	107. Conference

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date: Thursday-Saturday, October 18-20, 2018.
> 
> Fun fact; this one is loosely based on a rather terrifying and amusing experience that myself an NamelesslyNightlock had in a New York hotel a few months ago!

**_THURSDAY…_ **

'We booked _four_ rooms,' Cooper's exasperated voice practically _drilled_ into the skull of the man at the hotel check in desk.  
'I'm sorry, sir,' the man said, shifting awkwardly back and forth on his feet, 'but we only have these two left.' Behind Cooper, Samar, Liz and Ressler all felt equally awkward and frustrated. None of them had considered a two and a half day, mandatory Bureau conference in New York to be their dream work trip, but this less than great start only made them all the more apprehensive about the next couple of days.

The conference was mandatory for all field agents and operations directors, with a variety of differently themed presentations and workshops over the three days to review Bureau policies on everything from the office dress code and personal service weapons to field procedures and allowances for agents with families and so on. Aram was lucky enough to miss out on what Samar considered likely to be the three most boring days of her life, seeing as he wasn't a field agent… But the rest of them weren't quite so fortunate. Even Leila, Sammy and Amelia had taken the trip to New York with Samar and Liz, after the Bureau had encouraged agents with young children to bring them along as part of its new focus on trying to accommodate said agents in their duties.

And to make it worse, the four adults were each supposed to have their own hotel room, but the hotel that had been completely overbooked by the FBI, had only two rooms to spare for the four of them.

'One room has one queen size bed, and the other has two singles,' the man at the desk hesitantly tried to continue, 'you should all still have plenty of space.' Cooper raised a distinctly unimpressed eyebrow, while Liz, Samar, and Ressler all glanced hurriedly back and forth amongst themselves.

They all knew exactly who was going to be sharing with whom.

'Director Cooper,' Ressler quickly spoke up -albeit quietly, 'for lack of a better word, I think you and I should call dibs on that second option.' There was a pause; Samar and Liz both instantly shared exasperated eye rolls, and Cooper blinked for a moment as he processed the possible sharing combinations, before quickly nodding his rather emphatic agreement. Liz discreetly nudged Samar's elbow as they all turned from the check in desk, and headed towards the elevators, room keys now firmly in hand. Cooper and Ressler led the small group, both still gritting their teeth in irritation at the room sharing arrangements. Samar, falling back in step with Liz at the elbow nudge, raised a wry eyebrow. Neither of them had a problem with being stuck sharing a room with each other, except perhaps, for the fact that they had to share that room with all three of their combined daughters… It wasn't exactly going to leave them much space.

Liz however, let out a tiny grin at Samar's quizzical look.  
'We did say we needed some quality us time,' she chuckled, though careful to keep her voice low so Cooper and Ressler didn't hear; 'right?' Samar simply gave an amused shake of her head.

The next few days were going to be interesting, to say the least.

/*/*/*/*

The room was surprisingly larger than Samar and Liz had expected. There was plenty of space for the three, small, travel cribs, plus floor a play mat laden with toys, and with space to spare.

The one problem they did have however, was the bed that _they_ were supposed to share. For one, it was easily the hardest, most uncomfortable mattress that Samar had ever had the misfortune of laying on, plus it was too narrow. Samar and Liz had no qualms about sharing their personal space, but even with narrowing down the space between them to the comfortable minimum, Samar felt like she was about to roll off the opposite side and hit the floor.

…And then there was the fact that it was too short, as well as too narrow. While Liz could fit head to toe on the bed, Samar had the disadvantage of extra height that had her feet dangling over the end of the bed.

It was when she woke with a jump at three in the morning after nearly rolling off the bed for the umpteenth time, that Samar gave up. There was no way that she was going to get any decent quality of sleep, having to stay half alert the whole time to stop herself from whacking her head on the nightstand on the way down. With a small sigh, Samar threw her pillow on the floor beside the playmat. She clambered quietly out of bed while Liz, and the three kids in their cribs managed to sleep on, pulled down the spare blankets from the shelf in the cupboard, and laid those out on the floor as well. She let out an involuntary groan as she nestled in on top of them, finally able to stretch out properly. Laying on the floor felt like some kind of heaven compared to the mattress.

It took all of two minutes before Samar finally fell asleep.

/*/*/*/*

**_FRIDAY MORNING…_ **

'Are you actually serious?' Liz's disbelieving voice hit Samar's ears the second her eyes began to flicker open. Samar rolled in her pile of blankets and pillows on the floor, glancing up with bleary eyes. Liz sat cross legged on the end of their supposedly shared bed, staring down at her and shaking her head in exasperation.  
'Huh?' Samar mumbled back, still half asleep.  
'You slept on the floor,' Liz commented, shaking her head once more. Samar rubbed her eyes, tired after the limited sleep, and still convincing her brain to process what was happening.  
'The bed's too small for both of us,' she replied, stifling a yawn. The expression on Liz's face softened to sympathy. Samar sat up in her blanket mess, wrapping tired arms around her knees. She blinked, furrowing her brow in confusion for a moment, as she noted all three of the kids quite contently playing together on the mat to her other side.

She wondered what time it was, and how long Liz had been awake tending to Leila as well as her own two.

'Why didn't you wake me?' Liz's voice was softer this time, eyeing the way Samar groaned as she stood and stretched, with a hint of concern. 'I could have taken the floor instead, it can't be comfortable.' Samar shot back a small, reassuring smile, finally waking up properly.  
'I actually don't mind the floor,' she murmured back, 'plus I'm taller than you. Even if you did take the floor, I'd still be uncomfortable on the bed, so I figured I may as well just leave it to you.' Samar paused, glancing around the room once more, and gesturing in amazement at Leila and Sammy playing either side of Amelia; 'did you sort out all _three_ of them?'  
'Dressed and diapers changed, ready to go.' Liz nodded, breaking into a sheepish grin. 'They were all wanting out of their cribs and it looked like you'd had a rough night, so… I figured I could deal with them and let you sleep a little longer. I'm used to doing two at once, so a third wasn't that much of a stretch.'

Silence fell between them for a moment, both of them sharing tired, but affectionate smiles.

'What talk do we have to sit through first?' Samar absentmindedly asked, lifting Leila from the floor as she spoke to give her little girl a good morning cuddle. Liz's wry smile only widened. She commando rolled back across the bed she had been sitting on -just because she could- and grasped the conference program she had dumped on the nightstand the day before, flicking open the pages to find the answer. Her lip twitched as she read it silently, trying to stifle a laugh.  
'The Importance of Field Agents Looking After Themselves Both in the Field and Out,' she scoffed as she read it aloud. Samar met her gaze, desperately trying not to cringe at the irony.

It was going to be a long day.

/*/*/*/*

While Liz and Samar moved on from their room to meet Cooper and Ressler at the hotel breakfast before their first workshop of the day, Aram wandered up the stairs of his parents' apartment building to find Naveed busily pruning back his rooftop rosebushes, and planting a new line of smaller plants along the front. There were _two_ fold out picnic chairs parked right in front of the garden and the pile of tools -the first sign that Naveed knew his son was coming to visit. There was a routine the two men followed to the letter during such visits, that had lasted ever since Aram's childhood; he was not allowed to touch Naveed's prized garden, but he could sit there and chatter away to his father about whatever took his fancy for as long as he liked, so long as he handed over each and every tool or other item as requested.

'Hey Dad,' Aram greeted him, pausing in taking his seat just long enough to hand over the bottle of icy cold water Mehri had sent him upstairs with, 'I see you bought a fish.' Naveed smiled back and stood to greet him, taking the water bottle gladly and downing half of it. He had indeed bought himself a fish, for reasons neither Aram nor Mehri could figure out, that now sat in a tank -as proudly kept by Naveed as his rooftop garden- in the living room. It  seemed to make him happy, and gave him something else to do, however, so Mehri had no complaints. If anything, she was more amused than anything else, as she always was when it came to her husband's whims. Naveed wiped his sweaty brow with the back of his hand before returning to his gardening, setting the water bottle by his side.  
'Spade?' He asked quietly, as if by way of response. Aram stifled a smirk, and immediately handed over the spade from the pile next to his chair. The tone when asking for new tools was always polite and softly spoken, despite the shortness of the words. Aram was used to it, and took no offence. Naveed took the spade, offering a warm smile in return as silent thanks, and set to work once more.  
'It's weirdly quiet at home without Samar and Leila,' Aram mused, leaning back into his chair and letting out a sigh. 'I did a whole pile of laundry this morning, in half the time it normally takes… It's amazing how much faster you can do things around the apartment without a two year old trying to help.' Beside him, Naveed broke into a knowing grin and nodded as he worked away at the dirt, remembering Aram's 'helpful' toddler stage all too well. 'Though-' Aram paused, furrowing his brow in thought as he spoke '-it's a lot less entertaining without her.'

Aram fell quiet for a moment, and Naveed turned on the spot, shooting his son a questioning glance as if to say ' _well, keep talking_.'

'They'll be back on Sunday afternoon,' Aram murmured next, shrugging sheepishly. Naveed nodded, now satisfied, and immediately turned back to his digging. 'You know what the weird thing is with laundry, though?' Aram continued on.  
'Purple pot,' his father's voice came back in response. Aram glanced down at the row of plants in their plastic store pots that were all lined up beside him and the tools, found one in a purple pot, and immediately handed it over. Once more, Naveed smiled as he took it in hand, took another quick swig of his water, and then set back to work, settling the plant from the purple pot into its new home. Almost as if there had been no interruption at all, Aram carried on talking.  
'Socks,' he began to explain, 'what is it with socks and one of a pair going missing in the washing machine?' Next to him, Naveed let out a soft laugh. 'I swear, in every other load of laundry I do that has socks in it, one sock just vanishes into thin air. I can never find it but then, where do they go? I check them all before they go into the washing machine and they're all there, but then when I get the basket of dry laundry back to fold, there's always one missing-'  
'-Orange pot-' Naveed quietly interjected, and Aram handed over the next plant.  
'-It's like there's a black hole in the washing machine that just swallows socks whole,' he seamlessly carried on. 'But… If there _was_ a black hole in the washing machine, why would it only target socks and nothing else?' Aram paused again, screwing up his face in irritation; 'you'd think if a black hole was that smart, it'd be more discreet and take both socks of the pair so it's not so obvious that you've lost them,' he muttered. 'Unless of course, it _wants_ people to know it's there, and it takes the single sock as some kind of warning or sacrifice.' Naveed shook his head, lip twitching in the attempt not to laugh.  
'Yellow pot?' Aram handed it over, without even blinking.  
'Maybe the socks just get dropped somewhere between the washing machine and dryer, or fall out of the basket on the way back up to the apartment,' he finally sighed. Naveed glanced over his shoulder, letting out an amused smirk that said _exactly_ which theory he thought was more likely. 'But,' Aram spoke again, 'you could drop anything that way. Why is it always just _socks?_ Unless-' Aram’s eyes glinted with the glee of a sudden, new idea ‘-there’s actually an invisible house elf on the loose… You know, like the ones in Harry Potter? There could be a house elf that’s made it his life’s mission to save humans from making that horrific error of wearing matching socks… And _that’s_ why only one of a pair ever goes missing, and it’s only ever socks.’

There was a pause, where Naveed simply turned and stared back at him with a single, raised eyebrow at the dramatics that had Aram so suddenly delighted -it was time to move on. 'Something more philosophical, huh?' Aram mused. His father nodded, struggling to hold back a mischievous grin all of his own, and Aram leaned back in his chair once more, thinking it over for a moment. 'Ok then… How do mermaids reproduce?' Naveed gave an exasperated sigh, shaking his head, but Aram remained indignant. 'Think about it,' he insisted, 'they're half fish, half human. The obvious answer is that if their lower half is fish, they'd lay eggs like fish do-' Naveed nodded as he went back to his plants, following along with that logic and not yet seeing the flaw '-but pictures of mermaids show their upper halves with belly buttons. That would indicate live births instead.' Aram allowed silence to fill the air between them for a beat or two, raising one eyebrow and watching his father turn back slowly on the spot to glance at him once more, now genuinely intrigued. 'Thus the question,' Aram finished, with rather emphatic flourish.

Still sitting by his garden's edge, Naveed furrowed his brow, thinking it over. He always listened intently to whatever thought or dilemma Aram liked to puzzle over out loud while sitting next to him, and he always found it amusing too… But it was only every so often that Aram managed to throw him a curveball, rather than coming to an eventual conclusion all on his own and then moving on to the next topic to take his fancy.

'Artistic license?' Naveed suggested thoughtfully.  
'Could be…' Aram nodded, still deep in thought as he trailed off. Naveed glanced sideways, taking the moment to reflect on the work he had done so far, as his son continued to puzzle over it all; 'maybe there's some way for them to be born through the tail… Like if the top of it where it connects to the human half, actually has some kind of concealed pouch thing?'  
'Another purple pot, I think…' Naveed murmured, though as Aram handed it over, it was clear that his mind was also still puzzling over the mermaid confusion. Aram screwed up his face, and let out a sigh as he leaned back into his chair again for the umpteenth time, still not quite satisfied with his conclusion. Once again, it was time to move on, and leave the mermaid dilemma to mull over in the back of his mind instead. He stared blankly in Naveed's general direction.

'Does your fish have a name?' He asked curiously.  
'Nope,' Naveed chirped, tipping his new plant out of its purple pot, ready to add it to his line of colourful, new plants.  
'Were you _planning_ to give it a name?'  
'Nope.' Aram raised his eyes to the sky, not surprised in the slightest but yet, still bemused  
'Did you just assume I'd name it _for_ you?'  
'Mmmhhmmm…'  
'Dad…' Naveed simply shrugged at his son's groan of mock exasperation. 'How about Shark Bait?' There was a pause after Aram's suggestion, where Naveed gave no response -he was waiting for the inevitable follow up explanation; 'it's out of _Finding Nemo_ , Leila seems to think it's funny,' Aram added… And that was all the explanation required; Naveed nodded his earnest approval, effectively concluding the matter. Though to him, it was only visible from the side, Aram couldn't miss the tiny smile that tugged at his father's cheeks as he patted down the soil around his most recent plant. 'Good talk, Dad,' he murmured softly, suppressing a grin all of his own. He meant it; as strange as the dynamics of their conversations were, Aram enjoyed them. It didn't matter how ridiculous his musings were from time to time, his father always listened just as seriously as Aram took the role of watching him work on his latest project.

It was their own unique way of communicating and to them at least, it somehow made sense.

'Look who I found downstairs,' Mehri's voice floated across the rooftop towards them. Naveed turned his head to the sound, and Aram swiveled in his seat. There was Mehri, strolling towards them with Riley and Angus ambling along behind -the latter apparently having been tasked with carrying up a plate full of sandwiches. Naveed stood to greet them, just as he had when Aram arrived earlier. He clapped Angus on the back, and stooped to offer Riley a hug, smiling warmly at both of them. Finally, he shifted his gaze to Mehri, breaking into the sort of mischievous grin that could easily rival hers or Aram's.  
'The fish's name is Shark Bait,' he informed her, oh so matter of factly. Mehri blinked, taken aback for a moment by the declaration, but somehow not surprised by it. She opened her mouth to respond with some kind of teasing response, but Riley got there first.  
'Like Nemo?' He burst out, eyes wide with glee. The little boy pulled a face before speaking again, this time deliberately lowering his voice to chant; ' _Shark Bait, hoo ha ha!'_   Riley broke down into giggles, to the point of nearly toppling himself over if not for Angus lurching forwards to hold him up. Naveed glanced quizzically back and forth between Riley, Angus, and Aram, confused by the reference to the movie he had never seen. Aram simply laughed softly to himself as he replied;  
'Don't ask.'

/*/*/*/*

**_FRIDAY EVENING…_ **

One day of deathly boring workshops and talks over, Samar and Liz returned to their hotel room, trying the make the most of the space and the time that they did have. They sat on the floor side by side, backs leaning against the end of the bed, staring up at the television in the room that sat across from them, while Leila, Sammy, and Amelia played around and all over them.

They even had popcorn and ice cream, from the brief moment they'd had to make a break for it to the convenience store across the road from the hotel.

Their legs were a nest, covered in an array of crumpled blankets, and bowls of snacks, but neither Liz nor Samar had any problem with that. It was a much needed girls night, just for them, almost reflective of the movie nights they'd had together before Leila and Sammy were born. Now, it was simply an updated version; not with the two girls kicking their bladders, but crawling over them and building toy towers on their knees instead.

If nothing else served to remedy the frustration of the bed situation, that certainly did.

Amelia was starting to stand unassisted now, though only for a few second before starting to wobble again. She stood wedged between them, clutching both of their arms in turn as she needed, but still much preferring to stand and watch _How to Train Your Dragon_ , than sit. Or at least, at only ten months old, she watched perhaps a minute of it at a time, before her attention flickered to Sammy, Leila, or their collective toys. Samar didn't even flinch at the baby girl latching on to her shirt sleeves every so often; just as with Sammy, she felt completely at ease with Liz's younger child -not to mention, she was used to being grabbed at random intervals by tiny fingers anyway. What was noteworthy though, was Amelia's comfort with her now. The baby girl who had once fussed anywhere near any adult besides Liz, and then Angus, was now quite comfortable with her -and Aram too, for that matter.

It brought a soft smile to Samar's face, just as did Leila and Sammy both jumping on her and Liz indiscriminately.

One by one, they all fell asleep; Amelia first, in Liz's arms and with one tiny hand reached across to rest against Samar's sleeve, then Sammy, then Leila, both curled on top of one another in the gap between Samar and Liz's knees. There was a feeling of immense calm and peace that washed over them, side by side, careful not to move until the end of the movie, and until the three little ones fell into a deep enough sleep to be moved without waking them. Liz's head tipped sideways, resting on the edge of Samar's shoulder. Samar shuffled a little forwards along the floor to lean further back and lower her shoulder to make Liz more comfortable, before tilting her own head towards Liz's to rest it atop Liz's too. Her dark curls mixed in with Liz's waves, both of them quite content to sit there in the surprisingly pleasant silence of the air between them.

'I can't move, even if I wanted to,' Liz said softly, as the movie credits began to roll on the screen. Samar shifted her head, breaking into a quiet laugh as she eyed the situation. Liz's arms were occupied by Amelia, and her leg pinned down by Sammy and Leila. She couldn't move any one of them without moving any of the others first.  
'Here, hang on a second,' Samar murmured back -her arms at least, were free. Eyes crinkling in amusement, she leaned forwards, gently disentangling Leila and Sammy's sleeping forms both from each other, then off her own leg, and then finally when she was free to move properly, off Liz's leg too. Finally, Liz could move to her feet, lifting Amelia up with her and then gently lowering the little girl into her crib. Samar scooped up both Leila and Sammy, carrying them along just behind Liz, until one by one, they were lowered into their respective cribs too. There was a moment… Of watching the three sets of soundly snoozing chubby cheeks all in a row, where in standing side by side on front of them all, Samar and Liz's elbows bumped softly.

But neither of them even blinked.

'One more movie?' Samar suggested, her crinkling eyes barely flickering from the three little ones in front of them. 'I think we still had some popcorn left.'  
'Sounds perfect,' Liz whispered back. Slowly but surely, they tore their eyes away and ambled back to the edge of the bed, wrapping themselves in their blankets again, ready for the next one.

One day of the conference down, one and a half more to go.

/*/*/*/*

**_SATURDAY MORNING…_ **

As good as it had been to have their movie night the night before, the sleeping arrangements were no more comfortable the second time round than they were the first. As Liz and Samar -with all three kids in tow- met Ressler and Cooper in the lobby, ready to head towards breakfast that morning, all four adults looked even more tired than they had the day before.

For a brief moment, when Liz spotted a fedora out of the corner of her eye, she almost thought she was imagining it.

'Reddington?' She muttered, as the man himself brushed discreetly past them to join their small circle. Dembe stood just behind him, watching the crowd attentively as he always did.  
'What is the point in all this?' He asked softly, trademark smirk etched all the way across his face as he gestured at the room around them; 'I'm standing in a hotel lobby full of FBI agents, and at least half of them aren't even paying attention to the fact that one of their top ten most wanted just walked in.' Liz, Samar, Ressler and Cooper all swapped wary glances. They could hazard a guess as to why that was; they weren't the only team to have been landed unpleasant room arrangements. The Bureau had overbooked the majority of the hotel for the conference, leaving most teams with only half the amount of rooms they were supposed to have. Every agent in the building was tired and not just from the uncomfortable beds, but from the sheer boredom that they were obligated to sit through, as well.  
'You shouldn't be here,' Cooper warned, turning a stern gaze in Reddington's direction. Reddington offered a nonchalant shrug, lip curling up in amusement.  
'But how could I not visit?' He chirped, with that tone that was practically designed to exasperate all of them.  
'Because you always have ulterior motives,' Ressler commented flatly. Reddington tilted his head, breaking into his standard smug smile.  
'Whoever said that it wasn't an old contact of mine that I'm here to visit, Donald?' The older man mused, 'don't be so presumptuous.' He shook his head, pointedly shifting his gaze back to Liz. 'Anyway Lizzie, are you all at least _enjoying_ yourselves during this pointless excursion? I've always felt that no trip to the Big Apple should be wasted.'

Liz paused before responding. She had enjoyed the movie night with Samar, but that was about it. The limited sleep that the hotel room had to offer effectively ended any enjoyment of the weekend beyond that. That said, she wasn't about to admit that to Reddington. The moment she did, it was inevitable that he would take the opportunity to offer an alternative -something, of which, she wanted to remain stubbornly independent.

'It's fine,' she said, much preferring to move on to other topics.  
'It could be better,' Ressler muttered under his breath. Liz turned, shooting him a split second's glare. Samar was familiar enough with Liz's frustration for independence that she too, was determined not to let slip to Reddington anything about the room situation, but Ressler was all too tired to think of anything beyond his frustration at having to share such close quarters with his boss.

It only took that split second's glare however, for both Ressler to realise what he had just done, and for Reddington to understand exactly what Liz hadn't wanted him to know.

'I have a penthouse not far from here,' Red informed them, far too pleased with himself for Liz's taste. Liz, Samar, and Ressler all immediately caught each other's eye, none of them surprised in the slightest that Reddington would just so happen to have such convenient accommodation. 'It has plenty of space and privacy for everyone, and it's arguably far more comfortable than this place. You're welcome to stay there instead.'  
'We're ok, thank you.' Liz politely tried to hold back the grimace.  
'Actually, Agent Keen,' Cooper spoke up, making all of them warily glance over, 'I think we can take up this offer, just once.' It wasn't just Liz's eyes that widened in surprise at that, but Samar's and Ressler's too. They all knew Cooper was disgruntled at the room situation, but they hadn't thought he was so much so that he would actually accept Reddington's help for once -and almost without question, to boot.  
'Excellent.' Reddington broke into a wide smile, practically bouncing on the balls of his feet. 'I'll have Dembe bring you the key-' he tipped his hat to them, ready to move on '-but in the meantime, I really do have business to attend to.'

Reddington disappeared into the crowd quicker than any of them could blink.

/*/*/*/*

**_SATURDAY NIGHT…_ **

Another day of workshops and lectures over, and there was no doubt that every last one of the agents stuck at the conference, were itching to be free to go home.

One saving grace was that at the very least, in inviting agents to bring their children along, the Bureau had wasted no expense in providing all kinds of elaborate activities for the hotel crèche. Unlike their parents, Leila, Sammy and Amelia at least, were exhausted from having had the time of their lives.

Though, as Samar, Liz, Ressler, and Cooper entered Reddington's lavish penthouse for the first time and stopped in the hallway, staring around in amazement, all of their annoyance at the conference activities of earlier in the day seemed to vanish in an instant.

For one, the penthouse was huge. Reddington hadn't been kidding when he said it had space for everyone. There were five bedrooms and three bathrooms, all of which were decorated exquisitely.

It took next to no time at all for each of them to retreat into the cave-like personal space of their own rooms, too busy being a twisted mix of awestruck at the apartment and overwhelmingly relieved to have their own space, to really engage with each other at all. The silence was one of delight, excitement, and sheer, utter contentment that none of them took any offence too. After all, they all felt the same. All three kids went to bed without one whimper of complaint -given how tired they were. And after that… The apartment fell quiet.

The rest of them remained awake, but simply enjoying the space they suddenly had. For once, they were all glad in hindsight, that Cooper's disgruntlement had led him to such an extreme of accepting Reddington's help. Even if just for the one night they had left before going home, the penthouse was leaps and bounds more comfortable than sleeping on the floor of a shared hotel room.

It was after another half hour or so after that, of each of them alternating between hiding in their own rooms, and intermittently re-emerging to explore another part of the apartment, that the silence finally broke. Liz was stretched out atop her bed, simply relaxing and absentmindedly flicking through the television channels, when Samar appeared in her doorway. She crossed the room from the door without a word, and dropped face first onto the bedcovers.  
'This…' She sighed, and as she landed beside Liz, 'is _so_ much better than that damn hotel room.' Liz grinned, not at all fazed by the sudden flop, starfish style, onto the bed by her side.  
'The tv is better too,' she announced, gesturing at the wall-mounted flat screen across from the both of them, 'and I'm pretty sure I saw popcorn in the kitchen.' The head of long, dark curls bobbed up from the marshmallow soft mountain of sheets, blankets and pillows, shooting Liz a crinkle-eyed smile.  
'Movie night, round two?' Liz's beam at her words broke only to offer a far more droll response;  
'Is that even a question?'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, 'Superheroes'.


	108. Superheroes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date: Wednesday, October 31, 2018.

Liz scurried across her living room and down the hall when the doorbell rang. Amelia bounced in her arms babbling happily to herself, and Sammy raced along on her heels.

And so began the Halloween festivities.

The majority of the kids -aside from Mina, and perhaps Riley- were still far too little to _go_ trick or treating… But that didn't mean they couldn't gather together and enjoy _giving_ tricks and treats to everyone else who rang the doorbell. This particular ring of the ball however, indicated the arrival of the first few to join the gathering. With her free hand, Liz swung open the front door and-  
'- _Raaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrr_ ,' Leila's voice burst out barely before she came into view.  
' _Leila, ssshhh_ ,' Samar sighed. There was an air of exasperation to her voice, as if it was far from the first time she'd had to try and hush her little girl that day. She offered Liz an apologetic grin, setting Leila back on her feet on the doorstep so that she could lurch forwards to Sammy. 'Sorry, she's been roaring non-stop since we put her in that damn onesie an hour ago.' It took everything Liz had to stifle a laugh as she ushered Samar and Aram inside. Leila, in her purple and orange, hooded, footed and _tailed_ dinosaur onesie for the occasion, had already brushed past between her legs, and was now eagerly scuttling up and down the hall with Sammy.

Sammy and Amelia were in a joint costume of sorts; Sammy's light blonde waves that were now pulled back into a tiny braid and her bright blue eyes, plus Amelia's mousy brown hair and bright green eyes, made for a convenient coincidence.

Together, they were Elsa and Anna from _Frozen_.

Even Hudson, scampering through the living room between them, had a set of dog-safe reindeer antlers on his head, taking the role of Sven in their _Frozen_ trio. Aram beamed as he glanced around the room, nodding approvingly at them all; he too was already dressed up for the occasion. Samar, on the other hand, hadn't wanted to wear her costume out and about in public on the way there, and had it in a bag, ready to change on arrival. Though, Aram wasn't worried about that. He was just pleased that he had actually manage to convince Samar to dress up with him and Leila at all. This Halloween, with Leila being another year older and actually big enough to enjoy running around in a costume, Aram was even _more_ excited than the last Halloween… And so he had pleaded with Samar to let him actually dress up beyond the ridiculous knitted pea pod hat of the year before, and then pleaded with her again to join in.

With a wry smile, and taking into consideration the fact that their Halloween festivities wouldn't be leaving Liz's house, Samar had relented.

The doorbell rang again. Liz went scurrying back towards the door with Amelia, just as Samar ducked in the opposite direction towards the bathroom to change. Leila, Sammy, and Hudson continued running in over-excited laps around Aram, leaving him standing there laughing.

The rushing back and forth of everyone arriving a few minutes apart and all the kids excited to see each other was chaotic, but only amusingly so.

As soon as Angus appeared in the opening between the hallway and the living room, and spotted Aram in his Halloween costume glory, his face crumpled to the sort of nervousness one felt when suddenly faced with having to admit to a grievous error.  
'Oh dear…' He trailed off, gritting teeth somewhere in the mix between terror and amusement.  
'Nice to see you too,' Aram chuckled, outstretching one hand as if poised to clap his honourary brother on the shoulder. He furrowed his brow in concern as Angus' apparent uneasiness didn't fade; 'what?' Angus bit his lip, trying to stifle a laugh, but otherwise remained silent.  
'Uncle Raaaaaaaaaaaam,' Riley's delightedly squealing voice sailed in from the hallway where he had stalled behind Angus, testing his sound effects on Liz. The little boy ran into the room, ducking past his father's legs that still stood in the hallway opening, in an excitable flurry of glee and a dark, flourishing cape and mask. 'I'm Batmaaaaan,' he announced with a cackle, as he came to a bounding stop, pulling a dramatic pose in the middle of the living room. One tiny hand tried to continue billowing his cape, while the other pumped the air as if trying to fly.

And then Riley paused as he took in the sight of everyone else in the room and most notably, Aram.

Aram's eyes went wide in surprise. Almost as if reflecting each other in a mirror, both he and Riley glanced up and down themselves and then back at each other, and then over again, horrified.

They were both Batman. One tall, and one tiny, but _two_ caped, masked renditions of Batman stood there in the middle of Liz's living room between the dinosaur, the two Disney princesses, and the dog-reindeer, nonetheless.

For a brief second, Aram had considered dressing up as Darth Vader instead, just so that he could crouch down, tickle Leila's sides until she giggled madly, and use that deep, raspy voice to say ' _Leila, I am your father_.' The fact that 'Leila' was so very close to 'Leia' only added to Aram's amusement over the idea… But in the end, and after Samar's concern that not everyone would take the joke the right way despite its perfectly innocent intentions, he had opted to go as Batman instead.

He hadn't even thought to compare notes with Angus first to see if Riley had chosen the same hero but then again, neither had Angus thought to mention it to him.

Liz's lip twitched at the identical expressions of exasperation on the faces of the _nearly_ four year old, and the fully grown man. For the life of her, she could not figure out which she found more amusing; the earnestness of the tiny boy, or the earnestness of the child-at-heart, at their apparently heinous error of Halloween etiquette. Finally, Angus couldn't help but let out a snort of laughter -which he hurriedly _tried_ to turn into a cough and failed, resulting in a noise that resembled that of someone being halfheartedly strangled.  
'Whoops?' He chuckled. Aram simply shook his head… As did Riley. The exasperation only intensified as the doorbell rang again, and Liz disappeared for another moment to greet Ressler at the door. When he followed her down the front hallway and into the living room to greet the rest of them, none of them failed to take note; Ressler was in as crisp a suit as he normally wore to the office, just without the tie.  
'Come on,' Aram sighed in protest, glancing from Ressler, to Angus, to Liz, and then back again. ' _None_ of you three dressed up?' It was supposed to be Halloween, and while they were mostly focused on making it a fun evening for the kids, as far as Aram was concerned part of their fun came from all the adults dressing up too.  
'Hey, sure I did,' Angus jokingly scoffed, gesturing towards his son; 'I'm obviously the Alfred to Riley's Batman.' Riley glanced up from his pretending to fly around Sammy and Leila at the sound of his name, and nodded in exaggerated, earnest agreement… Then promptly resumed trying to fly. Liz in turn, gestured at Amelia in her arms, then at Sammy acting out Elsa's ice powers.  
'And I had enough fun dressing up these two and Hudson,' she observed. Aram shifted his gaze to Ressler in turn, but Liz got there first; 'what's your excuse?' Ressler gave an exaggerated eye roll as if he couldn't believe what he was doing, then pulled open a few buttons of his shirt, revealing another, fitted t-shirt underneath that resembled a very particular red, blue and white, star spangled uniform.  
'I'm quite clearly Steve Rogers, thanks,' he muttered drolly. Though, the look of feigned exasperation only lasted a second before feeling the sheepish tug of embarrassment and letting out a tiny grin. 'It was Alison's idea, she thought me being Captain America was funny.'

As Ressler quickly re-did the buttons of his shirt, even Aram couldn't keep up his mild annoyance. He stifled a laugh along with Liz and Angus, at the touch of pink in Ressler's cheeks that he was desperately trying to shrug off.

'What's Samar's costume, then?' Angus continued to chuckle, shifting his attention back to Aram.  
'You seriously talked her into wearing one?' Liz shook her head, still not sure whether to believe it at all.  
'Hey, Aram?' Samar's voice floated down the hall towards them before Aram could respond. She poked her head out of the bathroom around the door, looking for him, allowing a flashing glimpse of a shiny, gold headband. 'Can you give me a hand with this?' Aram ducked out of the living room straight towards her with little more than an eager, wordless nod. Liz, Angus, and Ressler exchanged curious glances; the gold headband wasn't a huge clue on its own, but with its red star in the centre, and the way Samar's long, dark curls were now out of the pony tail she had arrived with, and hanging loose and wild instead -not to mention the bare shoulder they had glimpsed around the door too…  
'Is she dressed up as-' Liz cautiously began to whisper.  
'-Mmhmm,' Angus hummed back, eyes wide and nodding hurriedly.  
'How the hell did he convince her-' Ressler just as quietly tried to murmur, before Liz cut him off, shaking her head.  
'-I have no idea.'

All three fell silent, the second Aram re-emerged, darting back into the room.

'You guys ready for this?' He asked. The grin on his face was wide, and by now he was practically bouncing on the balls of his feet. The door to the bathroom swung slowly open in the hall, drawing the attention of all four.  
'I look ridiculous,' Samar's voice called out from behind the door.  
'No, you don't.' Aram turned, just for a splitsecond, to glare at Ressler, Liz, and Angus as he spoke, _daring_ them to laugh or express any kind of amusement at Samar's costume. 'Come on,' he prompted, a little more softly spoken this time, in the sudden, desperate hope for the reactions not to prove disastrous and reaffirm all of Samar's reservations about dressing up.

The bathroom door fell closed again, revealing Samar in all her costumed glory.

Gold headband, long dark curls, strapless red bodice with gold trim, a blue and white, star spangled skirt, and tall, red and gold boots…

…She was Wonder Woman.

'Whoa,' Aram heard one of the three whisper behind him, as Samar closed the gap between them. Her shoulders were tensed; she had voluntarily agreed to dress up as what was first Aram's, and now _her_ favourite female superhero too -after learning so much about the various groups of heroes by sheer default of listening to all Aram's babbling about them… But it was still far from something she was used to doing, and a little out of her comfort zone. She was hesitant, and cautious of the others making too much fun, but she was determined to challenge herself all the same.  
'I thought this would be a bad idea,' she hissed in Aram's ear, at the awed silence that came from the other three. Aram wound a reassuring, adoring arm around her waist, dotting a reassuring kiss to her cheek.  
'You look great,' he murmured softly to her. Aram glanced at the other three; not one of them looked like they were laughing but rather, they all looked pleasantly stunned. Ressler even appeared to be mildly impressed.

' _Uncle Ram_ ,' Riley's voice broke the silence in protest, as the little boy stared up at them all from where he had stopped by his father's legs to see Samar's costume. 'Batman _can't_ kiss Wonder Woman, that's Steve Trevor's job.'

The doorbell sounding yet again, signaled the arrival of Mina and Zahra, and as Sammy froze Liz into an icy statue with her Elsa-like powers -Liz of course, acting statue still for effect- Aram stifled a laugh, and darted down the front hallway to answer the door instead. There was a pause, where little sound came from the front doorstep aside from Zahra's initial greeting, what sounded like a choked laugh of cautious amusement, the door closing, and then the scurrying of Mina's footsteps down the hall towards the living room.

Ressler, Liz, Angus and Samar raised curious eyebrows at the silence, just about ready to peek down the hallway looking for them, when Zahra ambled in, followed by Aram, and then Mina.

As soon as Zahra turned to greet Samar first, she bit her lip, trying not to laugh. Samar narrowed her eyes at the chuckle at her costume, but curiously held her tongue. Her eyes darted to little Mina, so far still partly hidden behind the tangle of adult legs, but whose head of messy, black ringlets poked out, marked by a wide, gold headband. Big, brown eyes went wide in gleeful surprise, and Mina burst out before either Aram or Zahra could speak;  
' _Aunty Samar, we match_.' The little girl beamed in delight, pushing her way past everyone else's legs to reveal that she too, was dressed as Wonder Woman.  
'When I asked her what she wanted to be for Halloween,' Zahra began, still stifling a laugh, 'all she wanted was to be a 'superhero like Aunty Samar'. I didn't know what other costume to choose.'

Unlike Aram and Riley, who were unimpressed by their double up of Batman but simply dealing with it, Samar and Mina suddenly bore equally matching, wide grins at their near mirror image of one another. Samar reached down to meet Mina's thrilled high five; for all her concerns about dressing up, all of a sudden Samar felt completely at ease with her costume. Mina's delight was all it took.

Aram's arm brushed gently against hers once more, as Mina ducked back through the crowd of adult legs to join the chasing, superhero game being played by Leila, Sammy and Riley. Relieved to see the tension freeing from her shoulders, he pressed a quick kiss to Samar's cheek, making her grin.  
' _Uncle Ram_ ,' Riley began to protest again. It was almost as if he had some kind of radar, and knew to turn around the very _second_ Aram tilted his head to Samar's cheek; 'you _can't_ -'  
'-sure I can,' Aram teasingly scoffed in response. Unable to think of any child-style logic on the spot that could counter the argument against inter-Justice League romance, he simply stuck out his tongue, and dotted another kiss to Samar's cheek just because he could. Samar rolled her eyes in amused exasperation, trying to stop the twitch tugging at her lips. Liz and Angus both chuckled under their breaths. Riley, however, let out a small huff, eyeing Aram suspiciously for a moment… Before turning abruptly to Mina.  
'Miss Wonder Woman,' he spoke up, flourishing his cape and taking a small bow. He took her hand and pressed a dramatic kiss to the back of it, making Mina giggle; 'can I be your Batman?' Sammy and Leila pushed their way straight through the middle of them before Mina could even respond -Leila still stomping and roaring, and Sammy still madly trying to wave her little hands around and freeze everything in sight. There was chaos; one of Sammy's imaginary, invisible ice beams hit Mina, making her freeze to a statue just as Liz had earlier. Riley lurched forwards to save her, yelping about how the curse in the Frozen movie could only be broken by true love's kiss, but the Leila-saurus jumped in front of him, roaring, swishing her onesie tail, and waving about her imaginary claws to stop him.

All four cackled madly and squealed in glee, all the while little Amelia dangled herself over the edge of Liz's arms, giggling at the playacting and wanting to crawl amongst it all.

None of the adults really knew what to make of it all, besides watching and laughing. Liz set Amelia down on her hands and knees to set her free to join the chaos. The baby girl pulled herself up to standing alongside the edge of the couch, with Hudson following along behind and watching on as protectively as he had done when Sammy and Leila were at the same milestone. Amelia batted at his reindeer antlers with one hand, burbling happily… While the four older kids played on all around them.

One more ring of the doorbell, unexpected this time, broke Liz's attention from smiling proudly as she watched them all. She turned, darting out of the room almost unnoticed by the other adults who were still focused on watching the kids, and hurried back towards the front door.

There was an all too familiar flip of a fedora as soon as Liz pulled the door open.

'Reddington?' A tiny, wry smile tugged at her lips at the sight of him standing there on her doorstep.  
'I apologise for the intrusion, Lizzie,' he mused, tipping his head to her, 'I had some matters to attend to in the area, and it's been a while since I last saw Samantha and Amelia, so I thought I'd drop in.' There was a pause as Liz eyed the look on his face. It was deliberately neutral, just like hers -both of them in a silent battle of wills since his interjection into the conference hotel room situation nearly two weeks earlier. Reddington had seen Sammy and Amelia with her in the hotel lobby then, but the interaction had been so fleeting… It really had been a while since he'd had the chance to see them properly. That said, Liz still was set on having her personal boundary in place when it came to Reddington butting into her life as he pleased, but… In this instance the visit was just that. There was no insistence from his part on this occasion, to offer assistance of any kind. Liz gave a small sigh, but nodded all the same. Reddington turned his hat over in his hands one more time, shooting her a smile of grateful acknowledgement for allowing him that one concession. Liz stepped back from the door to let him in, but not before Angus poked his head into the hallway and ambled curiously down the hall towards them, wondering what silent interaction was taking so long.  
'-Liz?' He softly called out to her, 'everything ok?' Reddington's eyes snapped to his in an instant, both him and Angus meeting each other's gaze and holding it there.  
'You must be Angus,' Reddington observed, extending his hand for Angus to shake. The smile was gone from his face now, replaced by suspicion. 'Raymond Reddington. I've heard a great deal, but we've never quite had the privilege of meeting.' Angus took his hand and the two shook, though his expression was almost equally suspicious. He recognised Reddington even without the introduction, and he knew what Liz's taskforce did too… But Reddington wasn't wrong; though the two of them had crossed paths indirectly before, they had never met face to face.  
'Who are you?' A tiny voice burst out from behind Angus' legs, before he could even respond. An equally tiny blonde head tilted curiously sideways, staring up at Reddington with narrowed eyes to match his father's.  
'Oh, Riley-' Angus muttered, trying to direct him back to the living room but Sammy, having followed Riley when he followed Angus, interjected.  
' _-Red_ ,' she burst out, beaming up at him from where she now stood, wrapped around Liz's leg. Red grinned back down at her, reaching forwards to gently run his thumb along her chubby cheek.  
'Perhaps we should go inside, Lizzie,' he observed, still focused on smiling at the little girl between them, 'before the wind does.'

Liz stepped back from the door once more, allowing it to fall softly closed between them. She ambled back down the hallway, leading him towards the living room where everyone else awaited her return… But Reddington fell back one step, then two, then three, discreetly resting his hand along Angus' arm to stop him as Liz and the two kids continued on ahead.

'Mr Stevenson,' he murmured quietly, 'if you're anything like Aram as I'm led to believe, I'm sure I needn't worry about your intentions, but I'm going to say this anyway.' Reddington raised a warning eyebrow as he continued; 'Elizabeth deserves nothing less than the absolute best. If you can't give her that, you'll be hearing from me faster than you can blink.'  
'I'm sure Liz would prefer to speak for herself,' Angus replied flatly, 'but I'd hazard a guess that if I ever did anything wrong by her, I'd hear about it from _her_ well before you knew about it.' The two men held each other's gazes once more, Reddington's gaze more intrigued now, while Angus' was almost challenging.  
'You have a healthy respect for her skills.'  
'Yes, I do.' Red tilted his head, still eyeing the younger man. His lip curled up in his usual knowing smile.  
'You're a touch more outspoken than Aram,' he observed.  
'Occasionally.' Angus gave a small nod. 'I also don't appreciate being threatened when I've done nothing wrong… Nor do I appreciate you backchanneling me over Liz when you and I both know how much she hates it.' Silence fell between them for the umpteenth time; both of them still holding each other's gazes and sizing each other up.

'You two about done?' Liz's exasperated voice jolted both of them from the staring contest. She had re-entered the living room, only to find neither of them behind her anymore. She eyed both of them with a single, raised eyebrow, distinctly unimpressed.  
'Lizzie,' Riley nervously whispered up to her. 'Is Mr Red a bad guy? Reddington broke into a wide smile, all attempts at a more threatening persona vanishing in a flash in the face of the child back in the room.  
'You're an inquisitive little boy, aren't you?' He mused. Riley shied away from him, back against Liz's legs. He glanced up at her, furrowing his brow in confusion and not quite knowing what that observation meant.  
'Can I shoot my bat blasters at him?' The little boy asked again, still keeping his voice low. His hand dropped in an instant to the nerf pistol attached to the belt of his costume -the very nerf pistol Angus had decorated in advance with tiny bat stickers, in place of Riley carrying anything that looked like Batman's real weapons.  
'No, Riley,' Angus warned gently, 'use your manners.' Still, Riley glanced back and forth between him and Liz in confusion for a moment. Finally, he took a half step forward again, staring curiously up at Reddington.  
'Mr Red,' the little boy cautiously began, 'can I _please_ shoot my bat blasters at you?' Angus shook his head in amused exasperation, at a loss for words. Liz and Red both stifled laughs, finally sharing a tiny smile with one another at the expression of absolute earnest on Riley's face.  
'Well,' Reddington chuckled, 'who am I to deny such exceptional manners?' He held his arms out wide, still smiling warmly as he awaited impact. Riley gave a small gasp of delight, tugging his nerf pistol from his belt and taking careful aim.

Not one, not two, but three blue and orange foam darts whizzed towards Red, one of them somehow managing to actually bounce off his belly… All the while Riley made the gleeful sound effects of 'pow, pow, pow.' As the little boy then scurried around Red's feet, picking up every last one of the darts he had shot -as Angus always made sure he did- Liz gave Red a grateful nod. She held out one arm to him, openly gesturing for him to enter the living room.

Red followed her further into the house, stepping straight into the chaos of not just Sammy and Amelia, but everyone else too. By now Aram, Samar, Ressler and Zahra had been drawn into the elaborate make believe game that the kids were playing before the trick-or-treaters arrived for the evening.  
'Make yourself comfortable,' Liz laughed softly to him, at the sight of the mild bewilderment that was on his face in response to the blur of colours, costumes, and noise. 'If you're here now, you may as well join in the festivities.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, 'Growing'.


	109. Growing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date: Monday-Friday, November 12-16, 2018.

**_MONDAY MORNING…_ **

Liz was already tucked away in her office when Samar arrived that morning. She poked her head around the door after taking Leila downstairs, eyeing the way Liz was contemplatively staring at both her computer, and a letter on her desk that was in between.

'What are you up to this morning?' Samar asked quietly. Liz glanced up, shooting her a tired smile.  
'Time's moving so fast,' she sighed. Liz gestured at the letter on her desk as Samar furrowed her brow with a hint of concern; 'it's been six months now since I filed to adopt Amelia. As of today, she's officially mine-' Samar's eyes widened in pleasant surprise '-and you know Riley just turned four yesterday, and now…' Liz paused, shaking her head in weary amazement as she glanced back at her computer screen for a moment, 'I'm wondering if it's too early to move Sammy out of her crib, too.'

They were all growing up so fast, as delighted and proud as she was, sometimes it felt like she couldn't quite keep up.

'I was wondering the same about Leila,' Samar said softly, nodding her agreement, 'she hates being stuck in there now.' Samar stepped towards the spare chair across from Liz's desk, allowing the office door to fall closed behind her as she sat down. Bedtime was becoming more and more difficult these days, with Leila fussing in frustration every time she was lowered into her crib. She still had enough space to move about inside, but it was the confinement that Leila hated. In the mornings she stood up at the railing, waiting impatiently to be lifted out and have the freedom to move around further.  
'Same with Sammy,' Liz murmured, still half-heartedly scanning over the article on her computer about the crib to bed milestone, 'they say two is about the average age to move, but there's such a difference between having only just turned two a couple of months ago, and nearly being three.' Samar's gaze drifted sideways, thinking it over. It was a puzzle trying to figure out how early was too early, when every piece of advice available to read came with a distinct note to bear in mind that every child was different and would be ready at a different time. All they could really do was make an educated guess based on their own observations and gut instincts.  
'When did Riley move out of his crib?' Liz bit her lip, only partly reassured by Samar immediately jumping to the same thought that she had earlier.  
'Angus didn't know what to do either, so he went with right on two and a half.'  
'Aram suggested that we try moving Leila into a bed, and if it doesn't go well we can move her back to the crib for a little while longer,' Samar said, shrugging in thought, 'it's not like the bed would be wasted, she has to move out of the crib eventually.'  
'True.' Liz broke into a soft smile as she nodded; 'and they've gone through every other milestone together, we may as well try this at the same time too, right?'

Ressler’s knocking on the office door to remind them that their case briefing was about to start, interrupted the wordless musing that went with their shared, thoughtful smiles; sitting there at Liz's desk like that, discussing their two little girls before the day's workload began, came with a healthy dose of pleasant nostalgia for where it all began -the early days of starting their mornings with crackers and ginger ale to stave off the morning sickness together, just the two of them.

How Sammy and Leila, and all their families had grown since then…

/*/*/*/*

**_THURSDAY NIGHT…_ **

One pair of tiny toddler feet crept down the dark hallway, oblivious to the numbers on the alarm clock that read 2:37am. Unfazed by the dark path already travelled down numerous times that night and the night before as well, the tiny feet continued onwards to the end of the hallway and into the master bedroom. Even someone who was wide awake would have struggled to hear the almost entirely silent creeping footsteps that moved ever closer to one side of the bed.

An equally tiny hand outstretched, grasping onto the dangling corner of the bedcovers, and tugging sharply.

' _Maaammaaaaaa waaaaake_.' Samar awoke with a jump at the combination of the sudden flash of cold air from the covers being tugged off her top half, and the notably _not_ quiet voice squealing in her ear. She had anticipated that it would take a few nights for Leila to adjust to her new bed and learn not to come creeping in during the night, but now at the fourth time that night -and before 3am at that- the novelty of the cuteness factor was rapidly wearing off.

Whether it was running in to wake them up, chasing Bandit around the apartment, or sitting on her own bedroom floor and loudly playing with her toys, Leila was insistent on doing just about anything that _wasn't_ staying in her new bed. Needless to say, that in turn meant Samar and Aram weren't getting a whole lot of sleep.

'Leila…' Samar sleepily mumbled, rolling over to glance bleary-eyed at the particularly indignant toddler staring up at her side of the bed from the floorboards.  
'Mamaaa waaake,' the little girl said again, even more enthusiastic this time. She had a wooden block in one hand, and a plastic dragon figurine in the other.

She wanted to play.

'Not again…' Aram grumbled from Samar's other side. He rolled and buried his face into his pillow, not quite wanting to believe it. Taking his voice as her cue, Leila scampered around the bed to Aram's side, tugging on his corner of the covers and smiling up at him too.  
'Baaaba,' she giggled, all too pleased with herself. Almost as if in sync, both Samar and Aram let out exhausted sighs.  
'Whose turn is it this time? Aram's muffled voice somehow managed to escape his pillow. Samar screwed up her face at the answer she knew she had to admit; they had been trying to take turns at putting Leila back to bed, but that didn't stop _both_ of them waking up each time.  
'Mine, I think,' she sighed in response. Still rubbing her eyes, Samar slowly sat up and then swung her legs over the side of the bed to stand. She took what for her, was only a few strides to reach the other side of the bed and scoop the little girl up into her arms, then carried her back to her own room. Samar tucked Leila quickly back into her own bed, sat with her and sang a few soft songs until she fell asleep again, then dotted an affectionate kiss to the top of her daughter's head and went back to bed.

'I'm starting to wonder if we should just let her tire herself out and fall asleep on the floor,' Samar reluctantly mumbled, as she crawled back into bed beside Aram.  
'If you'd said that two hours ago,' his pillow muffled voice emerged in response, 'I would have said that it was too mean, but… At this rate that might be the only way she's going to learn that her bed is more comfortable… Not to mention, it might be the only way we get any sleep.'

Samar stared across the bed into the darkness, to where she knew he was laying there, staring back. His fingers reached out across the sheets to wrap loosely around hers. Both of their eyes were struggling to stay open, but as much as it was proving difficult to convince Leila to stay in her bed, they had both noticed how much easier it had been to _put_ her to bed in the first place -for both of the two evenings thus far. Her delight at having more space to snuggle with her stuffed animals, not being so confined, and then being able to move towards them in the mornings when they appeared in her doorway, had made an immediate change to her bedtime demeanour. Their little girl was far happier in her bed than in her crib, proving that the battle to keep her _in_ the bed overnight -though exhausting- was a necessary one.

Samar managed to gently squeeze Aram's fingers back just for a second, before both of them allowed their drooping eyes to win over once more.

It was a battle they just had to slowly muddle their way through.

/*/*/*/*

Just over an hour later again, and a soft crashing noise followed by a delighted giggle, woke both Samar and Aram again. Samar let out a groan at the ceiling before even opening her eyes. Beside her, Aram didn't fare much better.  
'That sounds like block towers being knocked over and rebuilt,' Aram mumbled, still into his pillow. A noise erupted from Samar's throat that he couldn't quite identify, but despite the lack of words, it sounded distinctly like some form of agreement.  
'Do we want to get up again, or not? She sighed in response. Still Samar didn't open her eyes; she knew that if she did, her first glance would be to the arm clock on the nightstand and well… She did _not_ want to see whatever awful numbers it bore. Finally, Aram's pause of silence without responding made her roll to glance in his direction.

He was torn, between putting Leila back to bed for the umpteenth time, or leaving her to learn by falling asleep on the floor. Not that the latter would really do her any harm, but it simply _felt_ kind of mean… For _both_ of them.

Another crash echoed down the hallway, softer this time as if the tower was either not as tall, or the effort to push it over was waning as Leila grew sleepier.

Samar and Aram laid there, waiting and listening intently for another crash… But no more sounds came.

'I'll go check on her,' Aram murmured. Samar nodded into her pillow; that worked as a compromise. Whether Leila had fallen asleep on the floor, or whether they tucked her back into bed, either way she was likely to wake up and put herself back on the floor again at some point anyway. Within minutes Aram was back, muttering something through a yawn about having tucked the sound asleep toddler back into her bed because he simply couldn't leave her there on the floor, but having also shut the door to stop her from escaping if she did wake up again. Within minutes after that, Samar was tucked back into his side, both of them falling quickly back to sleep.

Within about another hour, the sound of block towers crashing yet _again_ made them stir for a moment before quieting again.

And there were no more crashing noises after that.

/*/*/*/*

**_FRIDAY MORNING…_ **

Liz's eyes snapped open at the crack of dawn. Since the conversation with Samar on Monday, and buying and assembling a new bed for Sammy late Tuesday evening, her little girl had managed to stay in the bed about as much as Leila had. Every morning since, Sammy had come running in to wake her around four in the morning and after that, well, it wasn't really worth trying to get them both back to sleep again before Liz's alarm went off at quarter past five. This particular morning however, Angus was sound asleep by her side. Liz had apologised profusely in advance, as soon as he had arrived the night before, for the likelihood that he too, would be woken up by Sammy running in.

Angus hadn't been fazed in the slightest, pointing out that if not Sammy, Riley would be the one coming running in at some point instead as he usually did. But still, Liz's body clock had already adjusted after the last couple of mornings and she sat up in the bed, ready to contain Sammy with quiet cuddles when she came in, before they woke Angus.

But the half-ajar bedroom door didn't move. No overly enthusiastic toddler came scurrying in to greet her.

Liz's eyes, confused and sleepy after waking up repeatedly during the night to shoo Sammy away from the side of Amelia's crib and send her back to bed, drooped slowly closed once more as she fell back into her pillow.

The whole house remained quiet.

/*/*/*/*

Back at Samar and Aram's apartment, Samar was the first to wake when her alarm went off at five. Aram stirred at her movements as she jumped out of bed before his brain too, registered the surprising lack of toddler presence or noise. His eyes snapped open and he leapt out of bed, right on Samar's heels as she quietly crept down the apartment hallway towards Leila's room. A breath caught in both their throats as they pushed open her door.

…And there she was. As expected, the little girl was sound asleep sprawled out across her fluffy rug, surrounded by her wooden blocks, Mr Spikes and a pile of other stuffed animals, a few picture books pulled from her shelf, and the majority of her plastic animal figurines.

What was unexpected however, was that she had pulled not just her pillow down off the bed, but two of her blankets as well, before curling into them amongst her toys.

Samar crept forwards, disentangling Leila from her nest as best she could without waking her, then lifting her up.

Leila began to stir in her arms, then grizzle. She rubbed her eyes with tiny, cranky fists, distinctly unimpressed with being woken up. After now two nights of solid nighttime adventuring, the little girl was exhausted. Samar held her close, pressing a sympathetic kiss to the top of her daughter's head. Unfortunately for Leila, the day was starting, and they had to get up, get moving, and get ready for work, whether they had slept or not. Samar shot Aram an equally exhausted look, both feeling sorry for the unhappily wriggling, squirming little girl in her arms, and struggling to hold back a knowing grin.

As tired as they were after the night's adventures, Leila was even more so. There was no doubt that the next night at least, she would fall asleep right after being put to bed, and probably sleep like a log straight through until morning.

And that was something they _all_ needed.

/*/*/*/*

Liz awoke with a jump when her own alarm finally went off. She rolled her head on her pillow, glancing at the clock; just as it should, it read 5.15. She furrowed her brow, as Angus began to stir next to her, the alarm having woken him as well. Another second and he too, sat up, glancing around the room in concern. Liz met his gaze, both of them confused. The house was too quiet, and neither Sammy nor Riley had come running in.

Almost in perfect synchronisation, they rolled out of their respective sides of the bed and hurried out of the bedroom.

Sammy and Amelia's room was empty besides the youngest baby girl still snoozing soundly; there was no toddler in the bed across the room, nor sprawled out across the floor with her toys. Liz's heart race increased as she began to panic.

'Liz,' Angus' whisper caught her ears from the doorway to the next room down -the spare room, where Riley slept. Liz's breathing quickened in pace and she darted out of the girls' room, shooting Angus a wild-eyed, quizzical look. He gestured discreetly into the room, as if even a tiny hand movement could wake a sleeping child and ruin the moment. There was an adoring grin on his face as he stared into the room.

Curiously, Liz reached his side, peering through the door.

Riley lay in his bed, still curled up comfortably, but notably awake. He held his green dragon and Sammy's Ziggy the zebra in each hand, acting out some kind of scene above his head, soft sound effects and all.

Next to him, snuggled into his side atop the new Justice League themed duvet that had been Riley's birthday present from Liz, Sammy watched the scene being played out just for her. Her eyes were sleepy after being awake on and off all night just as Leila had, but she was awake and contently watching the show nonetheless. Apparently, during the night, after Liz had put her back to bed for the umpteenth time, Sammy had crept out of bed once more with Ziggy in tow, climbed up into Riley's instead sitting next to Amelia’s, and fallen asleep beside him.

And now, instead of waking up Liz, Angus, or even Amelia, they were too busy entertaining themselves.

Neither child even noticed their respective parents standing in the doorway, watching on in their own exhausted amazement. As tired as they were, it was difficult to be annoyed at the two kids who kept them awake all night when they were being so sweet together… At least, for the moment, anyway.

/*/*/*/*

It was just after Liz, Samar and Aram arrived at work and took the munchkins downstairs to the childcare centre, that the exhaustion truly set in. By that point, not only had the novelty of the morning's adorable factor set in, but both Sammy and Leila had grizzled, overtired, for the entire morning routine and half the drive to work, before finally passing out in their respective car seats. Waking up upon arrival and removal from the car, had been even more upsetting.

If Samar, Aram and Liz weren't so exhausted themselves, they might have even felt sorry for the childcare centre staff who had to deal with the kids that day.

Now, Samar sat across from Liz's desk once again, both of them lamenting their inability to keep their eyelids from drooping.  
'I am so _tired,'_   Liz grumbled. Her head rested on her desk, almost entirely face down. Across from her, Samar was half curled in the office chair, trying -and failing- to wearily squash her face against its upper edge.  
'I feel like I'm dying,' she replied, through a stifled yawn.  
'Why did we decide to try this?' Liz's overtired sigh was even more muffled by the desk this time. Samar's responding, grumbling noise was completely unintelligible.

Not even Aram's half-hearted knock on the door convinced either of them to lift their heads from their resting places.

'Mind if I join you?' His weary voice asked. Neither Liz, nor Samar, could be bothered finding words to respond -not that Aram really minded in the slightest. Instead, Samar's arm flailed out, pointing at the remaining spare chair beside hers as some kind of gesture of assent. Aram's footsteps across the room were heavy, and his sinking into the chair was even more so. All three of them sat there, in silent, exhausted solidarity… Until a second knock on the door finally convinced them to look up and glare at the door in exasperation.

Ressler stood there, eyes wide and taken aback by the three sudden, matching death glares pointed quite intently in his direction.

'Whoa…' He began, taking a half step back and gingerly raising both hands. 'What is going on in here?' Samar eyed him warily, not really sure how to respond with words when it felt like all her brain could handle was scowling… Or perhaps yelling.

Between the new, big bed and toilet training, the next time Leila stayed at Ressler's for a night, he was in for a rollercoaster ride that already earned him Samar's sympathy. Their little girl really was growing up all too fast.

All the kids were, in fact.

…But as frustrating as it was at moments, none of them could help but feel a certain swell of pride inside, all the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, Samar's impatience continues on through Thanksgiving, in 'Hope', which will then be followed by the finale chapter, and then the epilogue. :D


	110. Hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date: Thursday, November 22, 2018.

Knowing that Thanksgiving was on the fast approach had Samar feeling far more apprehensive than she would have expected for the holiday. So many little jokes in the last few months between her and Aram since they had started not-trying, generally assuming that she would be pregnant sometime before Christmas -as went the figure of speech- had meant little at the time, but now sat heavy on her mind. She had also half expected that if she _were_ pregnant by Christmas, that would be the obvious thing for her to be thankful for at Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving was so very close to Christmas but still, as far as she was aware, there was no impending second child yet.

With that, and everything else that had happened -their loss, though now accepted, was still never far from her memory- Samar wasn't sure what to be thankful for this time around at all. Being generally thankful for her family and her team was a given, but repeating it yet again for the umpteenth time made her feel like some kind of broken record.

There had been so much hope in what would be, that now nothing else seemed quite enough.

There was a slightly off feeling in her gut as she pulled trays of roasted Fall vegetables out of the oven, but she dismissed it as simple frustration. She eyed Aram busily setting and decorating the dining table, wondering if any of the same things were on his mind, too. This year's Thanksgiving lunch was at their place, after Liz's turkey shenanigans at Mehri and Naveed's place the year before, and the not so secret hospital room picnic of the year before that.

Now, with the vegetables sorted, the pumpkin pie being baked lovingly by Mehri, and Liz determined to be in charge of the turkey again, Samar glanced around the room, taking a momentary breath of pause. She ran the mental checklist of things to do before everyone arrived, through her head once more… But it seemed she was just about at the end of it. That only left one thing. Samar stepped around the kitchen counter, peeking over the back of the couch at where Leila sat on the floor, eagerly scribbling away at a few Thanksgiving colouring pages Aram had printed off for her to decorate as everyone's lunch placemats. One colouring page for every impending guest -which was up to _eleven_ adults this year, with the additions of Angus, Zahra and Alison to the usual Samar, Aram, Liz, Ressler, Cooper, Charlene, Mehri and Naveed, and up to _five_ kids with the additions of Riley, Mina and Amelia- made a _huge_ pile of colouring that Leila had been gleefully working at on and off all week. The question of just _how_ that many people were going to actually fit in Samar and Aram's apartment for lunch had already been sorted by some strategic moving about of furniture the night before, and extending the dining table across the living room by adding a few fold out picnic-style tables but even then, Leila had her own little space to work. Every single colouring page and piles of crayons sat scattered around her now on the old sheet of butcher's paper Aram had laid down on the floor to save it from the crayons, and the little girl chattered and giggled to herself quite happily as she worked away at the last couple of them.

Finally, Samar broke into a soft smile at the sight of her little girl sitting there so happily. There was no mistaking the fact that she would be genuinely thankful for Leila -and Aram, too- for every Thanksgiving yet to come, but this year it just didn't seem enough when she'd had her hopes set on so much more. She was thankful for the fact that her and Aram's loss a few months earlier hadn't managed to tear them apart, and thankful for Mehri too, for giving them the hope to push through it, but… Something just still didn't feel right. Every single, positive, thankful thought was marred by the lack of the one thing she had hoped for and still didn't have.

Samar gave a small sigh, and tried to shake the feeling away. She was determined to uphold the positivity of the holiday, no matter the fact that it ate away at her inside. She lowered herself down to the floor to sit cross-legged with Leila, gazing at all the colourful scribbles she loved so much, and gently stroking her little girl's cheek.  
'How's your colouring going, ladybug?' Samar asked softly. Leila grinned widely up at her, holding out a green crayon.  
'Mama help,' she babbled back. Samar took the crayon, then smiled amusedly at the picture currently being coloured; a turkey standing happily in front of a wide row of trees.  
'What part of this picture is green, Leila?' She gently prompted. Leila screwed up her chubby cheeks in concentration, staring first at the green crayon in Samar's hand, then down at the picture. Tiny fingers jabbed clumsily at the picture, then she grinned proudly back up to her mother.  
'Tree,' the little girl beamed. Samar gave an exaggerated gasp of excitement, dotting a proud kiss to the top of Leila's head.  
'That's right,' she exclaimed, 'trees are green, Leila.' The little girl giggled and wriggled in her mother's cuddling grasp, eager to get back to her colouring.  
'She's really getting the hang of the whole colours thing,' Aram mused, standing just a few feet away and watching on just as proudly. Aside from Leila's not yet completed placemats, all the table decorations were now done too. Aram shuffled across the remaining stretch of the room, sitting down to join them in their now colouring circle. 'Hey Leila,' he murmured, 'can you find me the _red_ crayon?' Leila paused, screwing up her face in concentration again as she stared  at the pile of crayons scattered around her. Tiny fingertips brushed hesitantly over brown ones, then orange ones, not quite there but _so_ very close… Until she finally found the one that was firetruck red. Her fingers clutched at it, holding it up for Aram with a tiny gasp and a far less tiny grin.  
'And we know she's not colourblind now either,' Samar chuckled back, as she busily set to work on colouring a few of the trees in the picture.

It was one more little thing to be thankful for in the spirit of the holiday… Not that there was anything wrong with being colourblind at all, but at least if Leila grew up wanting to be a pilot, she could be.

Samar was simply grasping at straws for things to be thankful for.

Little bit by little bit, they sat in their circle, just the three of them enjoying the calm of colouring together before chaos broke out, adding the finishing touches to the last of the pictures. Leila took immense delight in following right on Aram's heels as he set them all around the table, one in front of each seat.

Finally, as the last picture was set in front of the last seat, Samar scooped the little girl up from Aram's feet and swung her around in her arms, blowing raspberries on her cheeks until her daughter giggled madly.  
'But the most important question is…' Samar trailed off teasingly, as much for Aram's benefit as it was for Leila's. 'Which crayon do we like the best?' Gazing around at the array of scribbles on all the pictures on the table made it easy to guess, and Aram simply raised his eyes to the ceiling in amused exasperation. Leila however, pointed eagerly at Samar.  
'Mama,' she burst out, giggling still. Aram and Samar swapped curious glances.  
'I'm not a crayon, ladybug,' Samar chuckled, adding another teasing raspberry to Leila's cheeks… But the little girl wriggled in her grasp, grabbing onto the sleeves of Samar's favourite khaki jacket.  
'Mama _greeeeeeen_ ,' Leila chortled in response. Aram shook his head once more, stifling a laugh as Samar shot him a look of joking victory. On all the pictures spread across the table, the green scribbles _far_ outnumbered the scrawls in any other colour, though purple did seem to come second.  
'That's my girl.' Samar added one more final, proud kiss to the top of Leila's head, just as the door sounded with the knock that indicated the first arriving guests. She set Leila back on her feet, exchanging one tiny glance with Aram as they both took a deep breath.  
'Ready to get this madness started?' He mused softly, shooting her a grin. Aram held his hand out to Leila, beckoning for her to follow; 'come on Leila, let's see who's here first.'

/*/*/*/*

The array of people gathered in their living room was chaotic, to the point it was debatable which was more chaotic out of the gathering or the subsequent clean up of the apartment. Samar upheld her smile for the entirety of the lunch, gladly listening to each and every person as they continued the tradition of going around the table saying what they were all thankful for that year.

All at once it was nice to see everyone so happy and hear all their thoughts about the next year passed, just as at the same time it was draining.

By the end of it all, by the time the last person had left, the last fraction of leftovers boxed up and placed in the refrigerator for the next day's lunch, and the last dish and spoon washed and dried… Samar and Aram were exhausted. It wasn't hard for Aram either, to see that something was on Samar's mind despite the smile she kept up all day, and it was all too easy for him to guess exactly what that was.

He felt the pain of not being able to celebrate any impending arrivals, too.

As soon as they returned to the living room from Leila's story time and tucking her to bed, he took Samar's hand. He gently pulled her in close, winding his other arm around her, and swaying slowly in time to the soft music that still filled the air from the iPod dock. Talking wasn't what she needed right now, Aram knew that well. The smile faded slowly from Samar's face, replaced instead with something closer to contemplative relief as she sank into his arms. Just swaying there with him, in the warmth of his arms and the peaceful quiet of understanding, was everything. Eyes fell closed; they stayed there like that, swaying slowly back and forth in silence for what felt like a blissful eternity.

'Marry me,' Aram suddenly murmured in her ear. Samar recoiled from his arms, her gaze snapping to his in an instant. Aram's eyes went from closed to all too wide open; those two little words had slipped out without him even realising what he was saying, and now that Samar stared back at him in something that wasn't quite horror, Aram's eyes said everything, in two very distinct, _other_ little words; ' _oh, crap_.'  
' _What?'_   Samar spluttered in response.  
'That…' Aram anxiously began, shuffling on his feet as he urgently tried to backtrack, 'is not the reaction I was expecting.' Samar took another step back, eyes staring down at the floor, and one hand running nervously through her hair. That was not the conversation she wanted to have right then, but there they were.  
'You just-' she gasped '-you just _asked me to marry you_ because you were all swept up in the moment.' Samar shook her head, almost willing it to be some kind of dream instead of real; 'normally you'd just kiss me, or –or... _Something_.'

There was hesitation, desperation, and everything in between in both their eyes. Not immediately bouncing on the balls of her feet to scream _'yes'_ threw doubts into every aspect of their relationship, in ways that would never have been a problem otherwise. How to define what they had was always something they struggled with, but they both knew that after nearly three years, it was something significant. They both knew it was something neither of them planned to give up in a hurry. But then… The hurt in Aram's eyes right then in that moment, said everything. _If her answer really was no, what did that mean for them?_

The longer they both stood there staring at each other, wanting to backtrack to ten seconds earlier but not quite knowing how, made it all the more painfully awkward.

'You don't want to marry me?' Aram asked. His voice was so quiet, it was barely audible. He had known, nearly right from the start what Samar's views were on marriage… That she didn't see it as something that was _necessary_ , but she would most certainly consider it if it was important to whoever she was with. And just as Aram knew that, Samar knew that to him, it _was_ important. She winced; she hadn't meant _'_ _no'_   so to speak, the words had simply taken her by surprised to the point where she hadn't known how to respond… Until it was too late.  
'You didn't exactly mean it, Aram,' she spoke gently, her eyes earnest and apologetic, but still making her point. Aram bit his lip; in a way, she wasn't wrong… And with the frustration of hindsight flashing before his eyes in an instant, getting caught up in the moment and asking unexpectedly wasn't at all how he would have wanted the question to go. But at the same time, he still needed the answer she was avoiding giving him.  
'But what if I _do_ want to marry you?' The question was serious, though not desperately pleading. It was almost flat in that he felt all of five seconds away from defeat. Samar took a step back towards him, then took a breath. She stared back at him, giving a slow, contemplative nod.  
'Then… Ask me properly,' was all she could say, almost just as quietly. A small, knowing smile tugged at Samar's lips. Aram tilted his head, narrowing his eyes slightly in tentative hope.  
'That's not a no…' He slowly mused.  
'It's not a yes _or_ a no.' Samar's tiny smile widened a little more. 'But that doesn't mean you can rush to go buy a ring and get down on one knee next week. Then you'll only be asking because I just said you could.'  
'Then _how_ -' Aram shook his head in frustration.  
' _-Wait_ ,' Samar murmured, softly cutting him off. 'You'll know the right moment when it comes.' She closed the gap between them, resting her fingertips against his cheek, until Aram leaned into them and let out a tiny smile. 'Just not like this, ok?' Their foreheads rested against one another now, with Samar pressing a soft kiss to his lips as they stood there. The silence between them was peaceful now, if not without a notable hint of hope and excitement that was all too clear in Aram's eyes, as far too many ideas all flashed through his head at once. His arms wound around her again, his eyes closing softly as they slowly began moving together in time with the music once more.

All they could do was keep trying. All they could do, was hold onto everything they had and remember everything Mehri and Naveed had told them. All they could do… Was have hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up... The finale; 'Boom'. I hope you're ready!


	111. Boom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story timeline date: Monday, December 10, 2018.
> 
> Here we go! The ending! I really hope it does the rest of the story justice.

There was an uncomfortable nauseous feeling that rocked Samar's gut when she woke up early that morning for her run. She pushed herself to get out of bed anyway, hoping that the exercise and the cool breeze of the early winter air on her face would settle her stomach, as it normally did when she woke up feeling not quite right.

By the time she returned home and found Aram busily working on coffee and breakfast just like every other morning, the uncomfortable swirling in her belly still hadn't eased... And if anything, the sudden smell of food had her resisting the urge to clamp a hand over her mouth and run for the bathroom.

That instantly sent alarm bells ringing in her head. Regardless, Samar feigned a smile as if everything was normal, dotting a quick good morning kiss to his cheek and moving on to the bathroom for her shower. Just an off feeling wasn't something she wanted to tell him just yet, not when she had nothing more than tentative suspicions. After the little scare that had Aram so excited and concluded in their decision to eventually try, and the bigger scare that had caused them so much grief, Samar was all too wary of getting her hopes up, and even more so about Aram's hopes. He was far more excitable than she was, and that only made any subsequent disappointment all the more difficult.

A cautious glance at the calendar on the bedroom wall on her way into the bathroom only made Samar even more suspicious.

Nonetheless, as they went about their usual morning routine before work, she said nothing. She kept up that feigned smile, and forced herself to nibble at the toast Aram had prepared for her just the way she liked it, even though it made her stomach feel like it was doing somersaults.

She couldn't say anything just yet. She couldn’t say anything until she knew for sure her suspicions were correct or not.

/*/*/*/*

The drive from home to work was almost tense; Aram chatted away quite happily in the car as he always did, all the while Samar only half paid attention. She heard his voice, and enough words to nod, or shake her head, or give three word answers accordingly so that he didn't pick up that anything was on her mind, but other than that the conversation blurred in her head. It was overtaken by her suspicions, by the wondering whether or not they were correct and when or how she would have the chance to slip out of the office to figure it out, and most of all... By the desperate want to scream them out loud and simultaneously bite her tongue.  

The want for those suspicions to be true was so painfully desperate, and the idea that they might not be was nerve wracking. For the moment Samar felt like some kind of living, breathing case of Schrodinger's cat; until she knew for sure either way, she was in that curious, but safe zone of possibility either way.

It was Liz who paused when they stepped out of the Post Office elevator, furrowing her brow as she eyed the expression of forced calm on Samar's face. Samar was trained well enough to fool most people with a feigned expression... But Liz was trained just as well to spot the tiniest of micro-expressions that dictated the difference between those feigned expressions and the real ones.

Thankfully she also had the common sense to know that if Samar's expression was one of feigned calm, it was probably feigned for good reason –and that meant being discreet with questioning it.

She waited as Samar and Aram both reached their war room desks and set their bags underneath, then for Aram to set about busily switching on his computers, and Samar to take Leila and start moving downstairs. She watched them all as they moved, feigning an air of casualness, but still keeping her eyes intently on Samar. The second Samar moved away from Aram and headed back for the elevator, Liz darted around the concrete columns unnoticed by anyone, and appeared oh so casually alongside Samar.    
'You ok?' Liz asked, little more than a whisper. She kept her gaze firmly on Leila, rather than Samar, as she spoke, smiling widely in greeting at the little girl. Samar's eyes widened like a deer caught in headlights. It was just for a split second before the voice that took her by surprise, actually registered in her mind, and she resumed her carefully controlled expression again, but Liz still caught the flicker of panic in her eyes, even if nobody else did.    
'Yeah,' Samar's voice shook with even more stubbornly forced calm, 'why?' Liz paused, eyeing her again as she carefully chose her words.    
'You just look a little... Off.' Another wave of nausea rumbled through Samar's belly, but she forced herself not to react.   
'I’m fine.' Liz narrowed her eyes at Samar's tone; more desperate than sharp, it was trying to make the point of firmly telling her to stop asking, but while not wanting to do so rudely. Liz got the point. She shot Samar a tiny, reassuring smile just to make her own point known -that if needed, she would be there- before ducking her head to blow an affectionate raspberry to Leila's cheek where she bounced quite happily in her mother's arms.   
'Ok,' she murmured softly... And then before Samar even knew it, Liz had disappeared from her side, slipping sideways and back behind the columns to head back to the main war room as Samar continued moving forwards to the childcare centre.   

/*/*/*/*

It was during the morning's mounds of paperwork that they had all amassed and avoided from recent cases, that Samar managed to earn herself the duty of the team's coffee run.

And that was all Samar needed to make a break for it, so to speak.

There was a pharmacy right next door to the coffee shop... And it only took a couple of extra minutes to stop in and pick up a pregnancy test that she could slip in her purse for later. She was intent on not allowing Aram to even suspect for a second what she suspected; if she didn't have to voice any disappointments out loud, then it was almost as if they weren't even real... But that didn't make it any easier to hold in the emotions that felt like she was about to burst at the seams.  

Waiting another seemingly reasonable amount of time in the paperwork mounds after her return from the coffee shop, before moving onto a bathroom break, felt like an eternity. The smaller test slipped from its larger box, out of her purse and into her jacket pocket, without even Liz noticing that she was up to anything. Sitting in the bathroom cubicle, waiting those last couple of minutes for the end of all suspicions, felt like even longer again... And then finally, there it was, and it felt like time was all of a sudden standing still.

Samar stared down at that test in her hand in sheer disbelief. The emotions swirled inside her again at the sight of the result, and she didn't quite know how to feel. It was expected and yet, felt so strange. Now she knew either way for sure, she could tell Aram what had been bugging her all day thus far... But she still didn't know how.

Samar returned to the war room partly in a daze, just as Reddington marched in from the elevator on the opposite side, with Dembe right on his heels. Both looked about as serious as Samar had ever seen them. Even Cooper paused almost stunned, mid conversation with Ressler, to turn and watch Reddington walk straight up to him.     
'There's a bomb in this building,' Reddington's voice sharply announced before his feet even stopped.      
'What?' Ressler spluttered in disbelief. Liz listened intently, one wry eyebrow raised as she waited for further details. Samar's attention snapped straight to Reddington in alarm, her daze and spiralling thoughts left suddenly to the wayside.   
'Reddington-' Cooper spoke simultaneously, before Reddington cut him off.      
'-You need to get everyone out, now.' There was a level of desperation to his serious tone, that none of them had ever heard used outside of the most dire of circumstances. Regardless, Cooper shook his head in a combination of disbelief and exasperation.      
'With you as our informant, and all the cases you've brought us over the years, this building has some of the most complex security of any agency blacksite in the country,' the Assistant Director observed drily, 'there's been no breach recorded, so there's _no_ bomb in this building.'   
'I assure you, Harold,' Reddington’s voice dripped with his usual contempt for the disbelieving bureaucracy, 'when this man says he has done or will do something, that something has or will happen. The Bull is a man of his terrifying word, especially when it revolves around me.'   
  
Liz was convinced, and so was Samar. He had their full attention. Cooper and Ressler were borderline, disbelieving but still cautious after years of Reddington continuously proving them wrong about what was possible.   
  
'What did you do to piss off this one?' Ressler asked, grimacing in exasperation. Reddington shifted his gaze to Ressler, distinctly unimpressed.   
'I once asked his daughter to marry me,' he explained, all too matter of factly, 'she wanted to say yes but he wouldn't let her, so I in my ill-tempered youth, struck him in the face. He's been trying to kill me ever since, long before you have in fact, Agent Ressler. It’s petty, I know, but he’s stubborn and he has far too high an appreciation for charging at ridiculous challenges such as these.'   
'Of course,' Ressler muttered, 'that explains everything.' Reddington rolled his eyes.   
'Are you making a comment on my way with women, Donald? Or are you suggesting that you sympathise with the man because you wouldn't want someone like me ever dating your daughter either?' Ressler hesitated, taken back by the edge to Reddington’s tone that was far more so than his usual droll turn of wit.   
'Both,' Samar quickly spoke up, before Ressler could bite back. She forced a small smile, one that was both agreeing with Ressler’s commentary, but gentler and more friendly in its teasing in the attempt to calm the tension in the air. Reddington gave her a curt nod of acknowledgement with the tiniest of lip twitches, before turning his attention sternly back to Cooper.   
'Harold, I assure you, this building, and everyone in it, is in immediate danger,' he insisted, 'you need to take action.'   
  
Cooper shook his head, and let out a sigh of frustrated defeat.   
  
'Activate the received threat procedures,' he ordered Ressler, 'evacuate the childcare centre, send home all non-essential personnel-‘ Cooper turned Aram ‘-call in the bomb squad, building security... Aram, go through all the security camera feeds. The rest of you, scour this building. If there's a bomb, I want it found ASAP.'   
  
Nods went around the group, before they all scattered.

/*/*/*/*

The bomb that was found, had far too little time left to spare. Whoever had planted it there -The Bull or perhaps, some kind of crony- had managed to slip in and out, completely undetected. How, for now they could barely guess.

But guessing was far from the highest priority.

Figuring it out and catching The Bull was going to have to wait until after the site was cleared, and everyone was safe. Well, for the taskforce, anyway. Reddington and Dembe had already disappeared on a mission of their own, to reach the latest man trying to kill him, well before the taskforce could even try.

The agents that remained in the building after the initial, earlier evacuation, though at most only a half of its regular staff, still made a crowd. Elbows pushed and shoved in the urgency of the current evacuation; not even highly trained FBI agents could quite manage the task of evacuating in a calm, orderly manner rather than panicking, as every fire drill in every school and other building tried to teach people. Working one's own way out of the building, through the rabbit's warren of corridors and secure doors rather than using the elevator, was complicated enough in the hustling, bustling crowd, without keeping track of anyone else either. Liz's dark waves disappeared from right by Samar's side to somewhere further to the left, while Ressler's carefully gelled blonde head was somewhere up ahead –or so it seemed in the rapidly moving horde where haircuts were the only thing Samar could really gain a clear view of, and even that changed with every second and every glance.  

By the time they were supposedly all out of the building, Samar could see Ressler and Liz each distantly in the crowd, but Aram was nowhere to be seen at all.

What felt like a million and one thoughts swirled around in her mind; everything from reassuring herself that the kids had been evacuated far earlier and were safe, to wondering where Aram was, to wondering how the hell a bomb wound its way into the building, let alone how so much time had passed without it being discovered, to the lingering emotional rollercoaster in the back of her mind that was still figuring out how to deal with the test result in the bathroom stall.  

_Where was Aram?_

In the abandoned, open industrial space far enough from the Post Office that they were out of the blast zone, but close enough that they could see the upper half of the building, someone was running around doing a headcount and sort of roll call against the list of agents whose security pass swipes indicated that they had still been in the building up until a half hour earlier. Samar heard her name called and responded instinctively, barely focused on the task at all. Her feet took her in patternless, nonsensical rounds through the chaotic crowd, instinctively searching without strategy and even without realising it, for Aram amongst the spiralling group of panicked agents.

_Where was he?_

_Why hadn't he found her?_

'The device has been located,' the voice of the bomb squad Commander echoed in Samar’s ear over the comms, though she was only half paying attention. 'We're working on it now but whoever built it was clever. It’s going to be difficult to disarm it without triggering it.'    
'There's still one agent unaccounted for in the building, Commander,' Cooper’s voice sounded in her ear next. Samar glanced hurriedly around the crowd but wherever Cooper was, she couldn’t see him either. 'Do what you can, but keep your team safe too.'   
'Roger that,' came the Commander’s voice, 'who are we missing?'   
'Agent Aram Mojtabai.’

A gasp escaped Samar before she could even try to stop it. Cooper’s voice as he said Aram’s name sounded almost alien. She spun around on the spot, searching desperately for him, or Liz, or Ressler, or anyone really, that she could grasp, but the crowd of agents and other personnel blurred in her eyes. In a flash, Liz appeared on one side out of nowhere; she too, looked white as a sheet in the face, as her fingers clutched Samar’s. Ressler pushed his way through the crowd and appeared on their other side, resting a reassuring hand on Liz’s arm, while his concerned, fast moving gaze scanned the crowd just as theirs did.

_Where was he?_

A wave of nausea rocked in Samar’s belly.

Something didn’t feel right.

'Director Cooper,’ Aram’s voice finally crackled distantly over the comms, ‘I'm here.'  
'Aram-' Samar burst out. Her hand immediately rose to her earpiece, and her voice was nearly breathless.  
'-What the _hell,_ Aram-' Ressler swore at the same time.  
'-Get out of there-' Liz also tried to interject.  
'-Agent Mojtabai,’ Cooper cut them all off, ‘you were _ordered_ to evacuate the building.’ Samar felt like there was a lump caught in her throat as she listened; she was torn between relieved to know exactly where he was, but anxious over the fact that he was still stuck in the building.  
'I _can't_ ,' Aram tried to protest. 'Now that we know where the bomb is, I can check the security footage for who left it there, but I can only do that inside the building because I made the system so secure-' he paused in his hurried, desperate rambling, simply to draw breath '-and if this place goes up we'll lose our entire database, all our records, all our case files, _everything_ -'  
'-Agent Mojtabai, _get out_ of the building-'  Cooper cut him off yet again, but Aram continued to protest.  
'-I need to back up the system onto something more portable-'   
'- _Now,_ that is an _order_ -'    
'-But it's nearly done-'   
'-Aram, get _out of there_ ,' it was Liz's turn to plead with him, over the top of both his voice and Cooper's too.

There was a pause where Aram didn't respond. It was likely that he was concentrating on the task at hand rather than arguing with them, but the silence did little to ease the concern of everyone awaiting him outside in the crowd.

'I'm on my way,' his crackly, meek voice finally broke the silence.  
'-Ninety seconds, sir,' the Commander's voice added his own update right at the same moment. Samar’s heart pounded in her chest; ninety seconds wasn’t anywhere near enough time to get out of the building, even if it _was_ operations as normal and he could use the elevator. But of course Aram, always wanting to put doing the right thing over his own safety no matter how unreasonable it sometimes was, had evaded the evacuating crowd to return to his computer and try to crack the case.

_Today_ , of all days.

He still didn't know.

'Aram, move faster,' Cooper urged him, the very same concern for the countdown clearly running through his own mind. Liz stood statue still, head bowed and listening intently.  
'What the _hell_ was he _thinking?'_ Ressler hissed to nobody in particular, as he frustratedly passed back and forth beside Liz and Samar.  
'Sixty seconds,' the Commander's countdown continued.  
'I'm in the stairwell.'  
'Fifty seconds.'  
'Uh... Guys?' Aram tried to speak once more.  
'-The device is disarmed,' the Commander's voice interrupted him. 'I repeat, _the device is disarmed_.' Liz, Ressler, and Samar all let out deep breaths of relief, clutching at each other's arms and clapping each other's shoulders. Liz threw herself around Samar, while Samar stood almost stunned from the emotion.  
'Thank God,' wherever Cooper's voice was coming from that they still couldn't see in the crowd, it still exemplified everything they were all feeling.  
' _Guys_ ,' Aram pushed again, still struggling to get his voice through, ' _there's another one_.' Just like that, time stood still. Liz froze still wrapped around Samar, as did Ressler in his pacing. Samar's fingertips tightened their grip around Liz where it had been so casual barely a second earlier, to the point that her knuckles paled. 'Southeast stairwell, under the second floor stairs,' Aram's nervous voice added, for the bomb squad's benefit.  
'Aram, get out of there _now_ ,' Cooper ordered before anyone else had the chance to speak.  
'I am,' he replied. His voice sounded breathless now, as he both spoke and ran at the same time. 'It's got forty seconds on it.' For a second, there was a sound that vaguely resembled some kind of curse word muffled by the comms static and the anxious crowd, but once again Cooper had given voice to the sentiment they were all feeling.  
'That's not enough time. Commander, get your team out of there too.'  
'Roger that,' the Commander's voice came back without a single second's hesitation. Order from Cooper or not, that was his plan. Forty seconds was nowhere near enough to move his team from where they were at the first bomb, to where Aram had found the second one, let alone disarming it as well -especially if was as complicated as the first.

The comms went silent after that.

If the wait to strategically wind up in the bathroom earlier in the day had felt like an eternity, there was no word Samar knew that could describe the wait to see anyone else appear exiting from the building.

One by one, five more bodies appeared in the distance, rapidly moving from the building towards the crowd.

The bomb squad. There were five members of the bomb squad.

_Where was Aram?_

Samar's eyes were glued to that exit far ahead of her, waiting for one more body to appear, and desperately trying to remind herself that Aram was moving from a different part of the building that was further away, and of course it was going to take him longer.

Every nanosecond felt like anxious agony.

And then the entire eastern third of the building went up.

Flames and toxic smoke lit up the sky, while shrapnel flew through the air, forcing the entire crowd of personnel to duck no matter how far away they were. The sound was deafening; everything from the echoing explosion to the screams and yells of everyone on the ground. It was chaos, everyone fighting to move further and further away and getting nowhere.

' _ARAM!’_   Samar’s scream was ear splitting. She lurched forwards, arms flying, pushing and shoving everyone out of her way as she tried and failed to run against the direction of the crowd. It was a fierce instinct that took over, and she had next to no control over it; she had to get to him. Her eyes stung, and her cheeks felt hot. Her stomach turned in such violent somersaults, she felt like was about to throw up.  
'Hey, hey,' Ressler’s voice felt distant in her ear despite his arms winding tight around her waist and hurriedly pulling her back, 'Samar, _stop_.'    
'But-' she tried to protest, but she could barely pull the words together '-I can't… He's...' Her knees went weak and all of a sudden it was only Ressler's hold that kept her standing. Her entire weight fell into his chest and his shoulders, and every breath felt like a struggle in her chest. Everything blurred through the tears in her ears and the explosion echoing in her eyes, like a complete and utter assault on every sense she had.  
'We know,' Liz's almost inaudible voice murmured in her ear, trying desperately to hold herself together long enough to comfort Samar as well, 'we know.' Liz's arms found their way around her too, as Samar's knees finally buckled and she collapsed to the ground, still fighting for air.

He couldn't be gone.

Not now, not when he didn't know.

After so many others, if he was gone too, that would be the last straw from which she could never recover.

Besides the rapidly escalating nausea, everything felt empty inside. The tears and smoke stung her eyes, blinding Samar from the dirt and ash covering her clothes as she sobbed relentlessly there on the ground. Liz was there beside her, holding her tight as she too, buried her face in Samar's arm, desperately trying to process what had happened. Ressler kicked at the ground angrily with his feet, cursing at the air.

Still, the comms remained radio silent.

As the crowd too, seemed to regain its collective breath, now staring stunned at the gaping hole in the building and all the surrounding rubble, rather than running and panicking, it grew easier to spot the rescue-recovery team beginning to assemble on the outer.

There was Cooper, frantically negotiating, giving out orders, or whatever it was he was doing that Samar, Liz and Ressler couldn't hear.

Not that Samar really wanted to hear anything the rescue-recovery team had to say right now, not when it was Aram's body that they would potentially be recovering… If it was still intact.

A burst of sharp, high pitched static suddenly echoing through the comms made them all jump.

'...Samar...' A weak voice, barely audible, crackled through their earpieces. Samar's head whipped upwards, her eyes snapping wide. Her racing heartbeat only increased; _she knew that voice_.  
' _Aram_ ,' she gasped.  
'Aram, can you hear us?' Ressler asked at the same time, his voice urgent and nearly just as desperate. Across the crowd, Cooper visibly paused as he watched the recovery team that had just set off towards the building.  
'I can't breathe,' the smoke choked Aram's voice to the point that every word sounded like a struggle, ' _Samar_.' Samar jumped from the ground to her feet as she listened, clamping a hand over her mouth in shock.

_He was alive_.

_There was still time._

'I hear you, Aram.' It took everything Samar had, to keep her voice steady for his benefit. Inside, her gut swirled like some kind of emotional whirlwind. 'Just keep breathing.'   
'There's shrapnel in my legs, I can't move. My chest hurts too.' He was starting to panic now; though shielded from the bulk of the blast, the impact of the sheer force had winded him. That, combined with the shock and pain of the shrapnel in his legs and the cracks in his ribs that also came from the impact, and he really was stuck there in the still crumbling stairwell.

Cooper's voice echoed in Samar's ears again before any of them could even try to respond;

'Get in there _now_ ,' he ordered the captain of the rescue-recovery team, 'this isn't a recovery, it's a _rescue_.'

/*/*/*/*

Ambulances had already started to line the crowd as the rescue team entered the building, tending to smoke inhalation, shock, and even a couple of sprained ankles from the crush of the evacuating crowd. By the time the rescue team re-emerged with Aram on a stretcher -wrought with pain, but most definitely _alive_ \- there were so many ambulances lined up that Samar nearly missed which one they took him to.

Nonetheless, she still couldn't quite reach him. Between the bustling crowd of already panicked agents, the added outside agents descending upon them all to investigate the newly cleared scene, the first responders, and everyone else, she had no hope in hell of pushing her way through to him.

At that point, those who had children at the earlier evacuated childcare centre were finally being dismissed to collect them sooner rather than later.

And so, Samar was forced to wait. Almost as if on autopilot, she went with Liz to collect Leila, Sammy and Amelia and then finally, began the nerve wracking mission to track Aram down.

That was what saw her now, hurrying down the hospital corridor with Leila in her arms to what she was told was his room, and then barging through the door.

'Hey, sorry that took forever,' she breathless began the second she moved through the door, and barely before she even stopped moving, 'I had to find Leila, and the child care centre evacuated all the kids to a park that was ages away... For a second there we thought they'd _lost_ Amelia... And all the ambulances took everyone to different hospitals and I couldn't get a straight answer as to where they took you, and then your mom kept calling me wanting to know what the hell was going on, and-'  
'-Samar.'

The weary but no less gentle voice forced her to draw breath. Samar blinked, taking in the sight of Aram in his hospital bed in front of her. The ash had been cleaned from his face, the shrapnel from his legs had been removed and the scattered, tiny wounds disinfected and treated. He rested there in front of her, far calmer following the administering of painkillers for his legs and ribs. He was droopy-eyed, but managed a tiny smile nonetheless.

'Yeah?' A gentle laugh, breathless from the mild pain still lingering in his ribs, managed to escape him at her wild eyes as she spoke. He reached out, flinching slightly at the twinge of pain in his ribs from the movement, taking her hand in his as she reached the side of the bed.  
'You're rambling,' he said softly.  
'And?'  
'You don't ramble. _I_ ramble.' There was a pause; Samar blinked again, still processing the sight of him there, in front of her, and now so very calm.  
'...Right.'  
'I'm ok,' Aram spoke softly, _earnestly_ again. He squeezed her hand, trying to reassure her and emphasize his words. Samar took a breath; the emotional rollercoaster of everything that had happened that day still turned her stomach in rapid somersaults that just about stung her eyes with tears.

After all the events of the day, to see Aram like that almost didn't seem real.

'Baabaaaaa,' Leila let out a happy squeal, dangling herself over Samar's arms in the desperate attempt to reach Aram. She was so blissfully unaware of everything going on in the world of the adults around her, and if nothing else served to bring a tiny smile to Samar's face that day, Leila's unquestioning adoration for them both definitely did. Pressing a kiss to her daughter's head, Samar set her gently on the hospital bed next to Aram, keeping one careful arm around her so that she couldn't jump on his fractured ribs. Aram instantly broke into a wide smile, reaching forwards despite his ribs once again, and tousling her mahogany pigtails.  
'You know,' he slowly began, glancing up from Leila to shoot Samar a mischievous grin, 'when they pulled the shrapnel out of my legs, they said I'd have some pretty cool scars.' Samar's lip twitched, the hint of amusement doing wonders to slowly ease the whirlwind inside.  
'Yeah?' Aram nodded, all too pleased with himself. Clearly, the painkillers were doing their job and then some.  
'I was thinking I could tell you-know-who-' he tilted his head to discreetly gesture at Leila '-that I wrestled with a d-i-n-o-s-a-u-r today.' A smirk tugged at Samar's lips even further still; on second glance, the lines of tiny dressings down Aram's legs actually could pass for sets of clumsy claw marks.

Regardless, she didn't know how to respond. The shock was easing, but still it was difficult. She stood there quietly, twiddling her thumbs and watching Aram play tiredly with Leila… Wondering how to tell him.

A second later, and Aram glanced up again, furrowing his brow in confusion and wondering why she was so quiet.   
'...Everything ok?' He asked, all traces of amusement gone from his voice in favour of concern.

All day, Samar had been trying to think of the best moment to tell him, and the best way to make it special. All day, she had been desperately trying to figure it out... Until that bomb threat had come in. Every single one of those thoughts had gone flying out the window the second Samar was faced with the all too real possibility of losing him, and of him never knowing. Now, all she wanted was simply to tell him, for Aram to know before anything else happened. He needed to know. No matter the fact that Aram was right there in front of her, alive and just fine, Samar couldn't face even the idea of something else happening before he could know. The idea of making a grand gesture or announcement didn't matter anymore... And yet somehow, it was still a struggle to find just the right words.   

'Yep.' A breath caught in Samar's throat, and Aram looked up sharply. 'But uh, you know how Liz had to look into moving to a bigger place when she first became a foster carer?'    
'...Yeah?' The word was drawn out and cautious, and Samar bit her lip.  
'Well…' She began, then took another deep breath. Her fingers wrapped a little tighter around his without her even realising it. Telling him made it real, when she was still trying to wrap her head around it, herself. 'I think we might need to do that too.' At that, she couldn't help but break into a terrified, stunned, still disbelieving grin.

Aram gaped. His eyes went wide, and one hand rose slowly to just miss clamping over his mouth in amazement.

'Are you saying-' he spluttered, before Samar nodded hurriedly, cutting him off out of sheer excitement.  
'-Mmhmm.'   
'You're _pregnant?'_   
'Yep.' After so many months of trying and not-trying, after all the pain and all the wishing… Finally, it was happening. It didn't feel real, but the two little lines on the test wrapped carefully back in its box in her purse to show him later, made sure she knew that it really was.

And now Aram knew it too.

Just at that, it felt like the weight of the world had been lifted from her shoulders in an instant.

There was a brief pause however, as Aram's stunned eyes swept frantically across the room, trying to process that life changing revelation.

'Oh god,' he finally burst out, wringing his hands, 'what have we _done?'_   Samar's face _crumpled_ as she stared back at him in dismay.  
' _What?'_   She gasped. The tears stung in her eyes again; this wasn't the reaction she had been expecting _at all_ , especially not after the emotional wreck of a day they'd both had. Aram however, was in full, shocked panic mode.  
'We need a bigger place…' He fretted, 'something with a backyard; _two_ of them running around is going to be insane... And then, oh no, now we have _two_ college funds to save for... And-'   
'- _Aram,_ ' she spoke over him, fingers clutching even tighter on his arm to jolt him from his panic.  
' _What?_ ' he yelped back. Samar paused, taking another deep breath. She slid her hand down his arm, intertwining her fingers with his and squeezing tight.  
'You are happy about this, right?' Aram blinked at the question for a second, before nodding wordlessly and breaking into a wide, speechless smile. He pulled his hand from hers to wrap his arm around her instead, pulling her in close and kissing her deeply. The shock and surprise of it finally happening after so long, was overwhelming at the initial revelation, but he was _thrilled_.  
'Very,' his voice choked with emotion as he buried his face in her hair. 'I was just... Starting to wonder if it would ever actually happen.' Still lingering barely an inch from him, Samar broke into a wry smile and gave a tiny shrug.  
'Do you remember what you told me years ago now, after our first night together?' She asked softly. Aram's brow furrowed once more, trying to think back to that morning -the morning where he had felt Leila just starting to kick, and where Samar had broken down as she told him about her past. Nothing about that moment that he could remember, seemed applicable to now.  
'Something about you being gorgeous?' He warily suggested. Against his shoulder, Samar let out a snort of breathless laughter.  
'Well, that too, probably,' she chuckled. She paused for a moment, letting her grin of amusement subside and resuming a more earnest expression; 'but that morning after, you said to me; 'life is what we make of it'.'  

Aram shook his head in amazed disbelief, all of a sudden remembering that moment exactly.

'How do you remember these things?' He gasped. Once again, Samar simply shrugged.  
'That one struck a chord,' she said. It was one thing she had _never_ forgotten, one thing that had resonated with her deeply when he said it, and that she reminded herself of regularly these days. She broke into a warm, adoring smile, the tears forming in the corners of her eyes once more but this time in utter joy as her gaze met his. 'My point is; this _is_ going to be insane, but... We'll manage. Life _is_ what we make of it.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, the epilogue, and updated family tree, and a whole pile of my end note nonsense.


	112. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go... The end of 'Life is what we make of it.'

It took almost another three weeks before anyone besides Aram heard the news. It was near impossible for them to keep the secret, but they were determined to enjoy their own special, shared joy until they absolutely _had_ to tell anyone else.

That moment came when Mehri, Zahra and Liz decided that they had been suspicious long enough, and that it was time to corner -and then thoroughly interrogate- Samar in the privacy of the bathroom one evening when they all visited for dinner.

They were promptly sworn to secrecy for at least a little while longer, but that didn't stop the ear to ear grins on both their faces.

It was another two weeks before Liz let it slip to Angus. It was another week after that before Samar finally relented and told Ressler and Cooper in the name of workplace safety. Zahra managed to hold her tongue but Mehri of course, didn't waste a second in passing the information onto Naveed... And after that point there was no sense in hiding it any longer.

There was however, another secret that Samar and Aram hadn't yet let out... Another small joy that they wanted to keep themselves for a little while just because it was nice to have that special something for just the two of them. They allowed the reveal of Samar's pregnancy to overshadow it for a while; with everyone fussing over that, they almost seemed to forget to investigate the possibility of other secrets.

It wasn't a huge secret. Or perhaps it was, depending on who was asked, and how they felt about the whole idea. But in short, not long after Aram had been stunned at the hospital by Samar's announcement, he proposed - _properly,_ this time. It took him a while to figure out exactly how he wanted to do it. In part, the romantic, sentimental side of him wanted to do something special. On the other hand, he knew Samar wasn't one to enjoy having a fuss made of her, and she instead preferred simple gestures.

In the end, Aram invested in a weekend cooking course for himself, for which the final self-assessment was to prepare a favourite meal for someone else at home. Much to everyone's amusement, of course that someone else ended up being Samar. They all knew the meal was happening, and Samar braced herself for Aram's attempt at making her favourite pomegranate soup.

What no one realised though, was that this meal at home just for the two of them after Leila went to bed, was Aram's plan all along... And with the simple, but no less special dessert of chocolate ice cream, came Aram down on one knee, with a necklace in a satin lined box.

Not a ring, but a beautiful, fine gold chain with a simple but elegant swirl pendant with a diamond in the centre, a small emerald on one side, and a small amethyst on the other.

Green and purple. Symbolic with a touch of personal. A blend of both the traditional and non-traditional. It was the perfect balance just for them.

With a wry smile, and much to Aram's utter delight, Samar said yes –not that anyone realised exactly what was happening when she started wearing a new necklace rather than a ring. But, that was precisely how they wanted it.

They discreetly figured out how to match that balance with their wedding, as the weeks went on. In the meantime, Samar's pregnancy progressed without issue; this time thankfully, the memories of her first were no longer quite so traumatic. The first time she felt the baby kick, they were all in the war room mid-briefing... And instead of panicking this time, the tiniest ghost of a smile began to cross her face as she tried to stay focused on the case instead. Aram however, caught the expression on her face -and the way Samar's hand moved ever so slightly to rest across her belly- and he wondered curiously, completely distracted for the remainder of the briefing... It wasn't until the end that Samar stepped across to his desk and quietly mentioned it to him, and it took everything to convince him not to scream it from the rooftops in excitement.

She was roughly six months along before they quietly dispelled word to those closest to them that they were also getting married, _technically_ speaking. It wasn't a lavish affair; there was no church, no aisle and no fancy white dress. But they were married, and there was a wedding –of sorts- nonetheless. At roughly seven months along, Samar and Aram -with Liz, Mehri, Naveed, Zahra and Angus as witnesses- took their trip to the courthouse to make it all paperwork official. Then the next day, they delighted in a small garden party to celebrate.

Aram didn't care what they did, or what Samar wore, so long as they had that signed piece of paper... But even Samar thought just a trip to the courthouse was at least a little boring.

The garden party with the taskforce, Angus, Zahra, Aram's parents, his old NSA buddies, and the small handful of Samar's former Mossad teammates that happened to be stationed in DC at the time -Levi included- was just the perfect size to celebrate, without going over the top.

In a flowing, purple and green maxi dress that almost seemed to float around her as she walked, her hair long and wild just the way Aram loved it, and with a few flowers threaded through by Liz, Zahra and Mehri who simply couldn't help themselves no matter how much she protested, Samar looked like some kind of stunning, summer goddess.

Aram's jaw nearly dropped to the floor when he saw her walking across the garden towards him... But the expression quickly turned to an adoring grin as he noted Leila by her side, half-walking, half-skipping in her cheeky toddler fashion, and dressed in a purple and green dress of her own.

It was there at the festivities that Aram made a very particular announcement; that they didn't have bridesmaids or maids of honour in any _official_ capacity –though if anyone asked, those titles unofficially went to Liz, Zahra, Leila, Sammy, Amelia and Mina- because Samar wouldn't allow him to appoint his chosen best man... Which was to say; she wouldn't allow him to pin a bow tie to the front of her dress. It took a second for the meaning of that to sink in for everyone, but then it hit them.

Their second baby was a boy.

Avi Naveed Mojtabai was born approximately two months later, on June 18, 2019 –and much to Samar's relief, he wasn't at all early like Leila or Shahin. Instead, he was born right on time, just one day past his due date.

Leila continued to grow not just as fiery and active as her mother, but also just as quietly doting -and with a healthy dose of Ressler’s righteousness too. Avi grew to be much like Aram; tall and gangly, sweet and gentle, and with his heart proudly on his sleeve. Leila was the one who eagerly ran around the park kicking the soccer ball back and forth with Samar on a Saturday morning, while Avi was the one who curled up sleepily beside Samar later that evening after clambering up onto the couch next to her with three picture books tucked under his arm.

What they didn't at first realise though, was that even Avi possessed that same inner fire; the very fire that was clearly evident in both Samar and Leila, and the very fire that Aram possessed too, but only let out when absolutely necessary. Like Aram, Avi was gentle, but far from a pushover. If the right buttons –or perhaps, the wrong ones- were pushed, he would make his stand, akin to Aram insisting that Cooper give Luther Braxton the code to save Samar from hanging, or holding a shaking gun to the Director to save Liz. It wasn't until Avi was five, that it became truly clear. At the park he trailed along eagerly beside Leila –then eight- as he always did, chattering away about whatever had most recently taken his fancy, while Leila listened quietly but no less attentively to the baby brother that even at that age, she found absolutely precious... Until some of the other local children at the park –a group of boys the same age as Leila, but considerably taller- thought it was a right laugh to push the fierce, sharp-witted girl into a muddy puddle.

Down Leila went, with a splash nearly taller than the boy who pushed her. In all, she was unfazed. Much like Samar, it took a lot more than that to make her stay on the ground. Within a second or two, she was back on her feet, muddy and dripping, but fully intent on ignoring them –with the exception of shooting them a filthy glare- and continuing on her way, pulling Avi along firmly by the hand.

But Avi didn't budge.

He looked up at the boys who towered over him, his still chubby baby cheeks contorted in as furious a look as he could muster, before he let out an angry yell of ' _don't you hurt my big sister!'_

It took Samar and Aram, who were still standing on just the other side of the playground, a minute or two to realise that the noisy boy behind the slide who was frustratedly trying to kick the shins of other boys twice his size, was actually _their_ son. In fact, even Leila stood there stunned as she watched him, completely at a loss for what to do.

They went sprinting around the sandbox; Aram tugging Leila to the side, and Samar hurriedly trying to pull Avi off the ringleader of the other boys before anyone else noticed... Avi's launched offensive didn't really manage to inflict any damage, but that wasn't the point. Samar turned back for the split second it took to eyeball the offending boys, flash her FBI badge in their faces, and mutter something about bullies getting in trouble if they kept at it, before continuing on back home.

Needless to say after that, neither Leila nor Avi ended up on the receiving end of any grief from other kids at the park for quite some time. But that wasn't the point either.

Once home, and once Leila was cleaned up, both kids were promptly sat down for a gentle talk about violence not being the answer. To be specific, Aram did the talking. Samar tried, and then had to leave the room, feeling somewhat like a hypocrite after all the things she had done in the quest to find justice for her own parents, and then some. Either way it was clear; little Avi was not one to be messed with, just like the rest of them... And he was as protective of his sister as she was of him.

Both kids then refused to leave each others' side for the rest of the evening. Despite both Samar and Aram's best attempts to coax the kids to go to bed as they normally did without a fuss every other night, on this occasion Leila and Avi didn't budge from the couch until they fell asleep side by side and were then carried to bed instead.

Life went on.

Liz and Angus eventually got married, Angus officially adopted Sammy and Amelia as his own, and Liz adopted Riley too. Zahra and Mina were eventually granted American citizenship, and Zahra took great pride and delight in taking a few short summer courses and starting up her own –and rather successful- business selling homemade gifts, inspired by endless weekends of crafting and trading ideas with Mehri.                                                                                                     

Ressler not only allowed himself to find love again after Audrey, and settled down quite happily with Alison, but he also finally took down the crooked cop who killed his father.

The taskforce went on for a few more years -once the Post Office was rebuilt- until Reddington was somewhat satisfied that the mission he had sought to undertake in his partnership with Liz and the FBI, was finally complete. He continued on with his questionable business dealings, directly under the nose of law enforcement –some of whom let him slide on occasion after all the other criminals he had helped them catch- and though the taskforce came to its end, he still popped up here and there in all of their lives as he felt like it. Ressler went on to lead a new white collar crime taskforce, and Liz went on to lead a new version of her old beloved mobile psych team, which combined the investigative skills of field agents, with the profiling skills of the psych team. Aram returned to the NSA, working alongside Angus once again, and Mossad reassigned Samar to be on loan to the Bureau's counter-espionage division.

...But that didn't stop any of them from keeping up with one another.

It became more difficult as time went on, but they all made a point of not allowing themselves to fall away from each other. Leila continued spending every second Saturday with Ressler, until she was old enough to start questioning why –and why she went, but Avi didn't. Both Samar and Ressler immediately agreed without question that it was better to be completely honest with her in answering any questions she asked, so long as the answers remained at an appropriate level for however old she was when she asked them. Alternate Saturdays at Ressler's house eventually became every Saturday where Ressler came over for dinner, as Leila grew older and more understanding, and wanted to stay with Samar instead, but Samar insisted –which Ressler much appreciated- that they still maintain regular contact as promised so many years earlier.

It wasn't until Leila was a teenager, that she began to grow resentful of the idea; feeling like she was different from Avi, Aram, and Samar, and that she didn't belong. The older she grew, the more of her background she understood –its conflicts included- and despite Samar's insistence to the contrary, Leila began the phase of resentment towards Ressler and feeling as if he had betrayed both her and her mother. She grew resentful of Samar too after a while, for 'allowing it all to happen'.

Avi, ever wise for his age, sat with her one evening quietly for a half hour after at the age of sixteen, she'd had a particularly heated argument with Samar over dinner and then promptly shut herself in her room, slamming her door behind her. Avi waited ten minutes or so for her to cool off, before knocking gently on the door and being allowed in. He sat there quietly, twiddling his thumbs and wondering how to say what it was he wanted to say, until he found the right words... Then promptly launched in a gentle but nonetheless frank and lengthy explanation about how their family was so damn complicated, but that was the whole point. They called Liz and Angus their aunt and uncle, they called Sammy, Amelia, and Riley their cousins... Even though neither were really true. Sammy, Amelia and Riley still referred to Mehri as 'grandma Mehri', and Naveed as 'grandpa Naveed', and Mina as their cousin too, even though they really weren't. Sammy and Amelia also referred to Angus as their dad, and Riley called Liz 'Mom', even though they had each been adopted by one or the other just as Aram had adopted Leila... Which was to say, Leila really did belong with the rest of them, because the entire family was built on 'complicated', and that only made them all the more interesting as far as Avi was concerned.

By that point, Ressler had stopped coming over for dinner no matter how often Samar invited him, because he simply didn't want to upset Leila.

Avi's talk, once he had left the room and it had all sunk in, did surprisingly more than his parents thought it would, to start to ease Leila's resentment, but didn't help her internal conflict and questioning over her own identity.

That came with time, with acceptance, and with the rare, rebellious day where Leila skipped school and Samar and Aram responded to the school's phone calls about her absences, by frantically looking for her until they found her at Mehri and Naveed's... Just talking, and trying to understand it all, over tears and copious amounts of ice cream.

In the end, with that time, and with that acceptance, Leila agreed with Samar that maybe, just maybe, Ressler should be allowed to see her off to her prom, and even go to her and Sammy's high school graduation with the rest of them.

Mina, Riley, Leila and Sammy eventually went off to college, then Amelia, and then Avi too.  After that, neither Samar, Aram, Zahra, Liz, nor Angus, really knew what to do with themselves once their homes suddenly went quiet for what felt like the first time in about twenty years but after a while, they grew used to it again.

In the end, Leila did grudgingly make a point of stopping by to visit Ressler too, any time she came home. Mehri's words from those conversations in her last few years, still rang in her ears from time to time... Those very words Mehri had heard once from Samar, who had heard them once from Aram;

Life was what they made of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First up, updated family tree:  
> [](https://www.flickr.com/gp/152300685@N03/b5U16E)
> 
> Now, my nonsense, as promised... It feels so strange to be at the end of this story now. I felt ridiculously lost, from about two minutes after I finished writing it. Now that I'm posting the last one and won't have the routine of posting one or two chapters a week either, it's even more strange.
> 
> That said, and my gloominess aside, writing and posting this story has been a joy, so if you don't mind my cliched-ness for a moment longer, I'd like to give a few shoutouts.
> 
> First up, to namelesslynightlock and thebeautifulbadass, for the crazy conversations and jokes that inspired this story, the constant encouragement to keep writing it on days where I felt nearly ready to give up, and the endless beta-ing that fixed up all my typos from sleepy writing-hazes. None of this story would be as it is without you two.
> 
> Second, to AuraSweet13 and LoriRon, for all the wonderful comments along the way. Infinite thanks go to everyone who has read this story -especially given how ridiculously long it is- but to all those who have commented along the way as well, reading your thoughts with each chapter was a huge factor that kept me going, writing-wise, so for that I am grateful.
> 
> Thirdly, to my Best Anon Ever from tumblr, and then over here on ao3, you made me grin and crack up laughing more times than I can count, especially on days where I was frustrated with writing, so many thanks to you as well. I hope I'll see you around on tumblr and maybe even over here on ao3 again some time. 
> 
> To everyone who has read this, I can't say enough; thank you for reading, even if you haven't commented or we've never spoken. It has been a loooong story, and the fact that anyone at all stuck with it long enough to reach the end has me absolutely floored. Knowing that people actually enjoy reading my rambly nonsense enough to read 112 chapters over roughy a year, is unbelievable. When I posted this story, I didn't really think anyone would read it and yet, here we are. So thanks, to all of you guys.
> 
> I don't know what's going to come next in terms of my writing. I have a fair few ideas, but the strange feeling of finishing this one has taken away some of my writing mojo, making it difficult to write anything else. This story is not necessarily over, however. There are plenty of things in my head relating to the universe of this fic, that I would love to write as one-shot type fics, like Sammy and Leila's first day of school, them leaving for college as young adults, and all kinds of things like that. Hopefully my writing mojo will eventually return and I can set to work writing both those, and a few other ideas floating around in my head. In the meantime, I'll always be lurking here and over on tumblr... So hopefully I will see you all around, and hopefully I'll have a few more fics for you sooner rather than later. :)


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